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The Fixer

The Fixer

“I am so tired.
I am tired. I don’t need any encouraging words or “it will get better”
I am tired.
For the last 10 days, I have been dealing with family stuff as someone has been unexpectedly and worryingly sick in my immediate family.
Putting on a strong face and trying to keep it all together but dying inside.
I am so stressed. I want to cry every day but I feel like I am too strong. I need to be strong to hold it all together.
Parking was a fucking shit show this morning because of stupid construction happening in the fucking high of the day!
Took me over an hour to park. I hate everyone and everything.
My parents lied!
They promised me, forced me to get stupid degrees and promised to pay my student loans.
I make enough but the costs never stop.

Like that was money I was still thinking I would use to buy the rest of the shit I need for Nigeria or even pay for lodging!
I just want to close my eyes and everything ends.
I am tired.

I don’t want to feel all this pain.
I don’t want to be strong.
Don’t fucking know why I am typing this to you but idk.

I hit send on the text message, placed my phone to the side of my bed and I closed my eyes.
Seconds later, my mind was racing. I was filled with remorse and regretting even opening up.
I wanted to pick up my phone but this was not WhatsApp, this message was not getting deleted or erased.

The sunlight beamed through the blinds as I woke up. I picked up my phone and looked at the notification panel.
Fuck! How did I sleep for so long?

I sluggishly got up, weaving through my notifications and apps, I ignored my bible app reminder and went straight for my iMessage.
As I pulled it up, I noticed that my message from the night before had been read four hours prior but no reply.

Fucking Kamal.


“Tobi, where are you?”

I heard him chuckle over the phone and he replied

“Chill, I’m coming”

I growled and snapped back

“Tobi, you said you have been coming since morning. If you couldn’t come, you should have just told me and I would have found a way to come and get it.
Where are you now, so I can come and get it?”

I could tell my anger took him by surprise as he said

“I’m already on my way to you. I’m bringing it”

I replied

“How long?!”


He snarled back.

Click. The call was over.

The next roughly 15minutes were sooo annoying!
One thing I hate more than anything else is being made to wait.
I needed that bag and what is more annoying is that I gladly would have gone to get it myself.
But here I was waiting on someone who didn’t see the urgency in what I needed.

When he pulled up, I opened the door and let him in.
His first words didn’t help because I was doing everything within my power to not snatch my purse from him.
He smiled and said

“Why are you so angry?”

I took a deep breath and said

“Tobi, give me my purse”

He started trying to play hookie with me by running around the coffee table in the center of my living room.
I was so angry and I charged at him.
He ducked and turned around the couch, he was now standing between the couch and my dining table.
I stopped to catch my breath and I said

“Tobi, please give me my purse. I am tired abeg”

He smiled and started walking towards me with his hands behind his back, both on my purse.
I walked towards him and we were soon standing within inches of each other.
He leaned in and tried to kiss me.
I weaved and moved my head as I said

“Tobi stop. Just please give me my purse. I’m really tired”

He smirked and said

“Not giving it to you until you give me a kiss”

I turned around to walk away. I was boiling inside.
He tried to grab my forearm as I turned away. In one swoop, I swung around and smacked his hand.
There was a look of pure shock on his face, he clearly didn’t think I was going to hit him that hard.
He pulled his hand out and stretched my purse towards me.

I collected it and sluggishly walked into the room.
I opened the bag and began shuffling in the purse for what I was looking for.
I couldn’t find it.
I couldn’t fucking find it!
My eyes were getting cloudy and my heart was racing. I turned the contents of the purse on to the bed.
A parking ticket I had been putting off was amongst the contents. I hissed as I rummaged through the bag still looking for the item.
No luck.

I could feel my breath leaving me.
I got up and went towards my bedside desk. Opening the drawer, I started looking for it there.
I walked back to the bed and sat down.
At this point, the tears were coming down my face.
I was afraid.
My mind went blank. The last time I saw it, I was putting it into my purse.
So where could it have gone?
I stood up to head into the living room. As I stood up, I felt my legs give way and I slumped with the back of my head catching the corner of my bed.
The last thing I heard was Tobi bursting into my room.
I saw his legs as he bent next to me and lifted my head into his arms.

He kept calling my name.
I was slowly forgetting mine.
My eyes shut.


“Do you know when the last time she took her medication was?”

Those were the first words I heard as I was getting wheeled into the emergency room. There was no way Tobi could have known.

As they parked the bed, the doctors tried to ask me some questions. I roughly remember what I said.
Soon there was a drip going into my forearm and I felt myself drifting off again. The last thing I remember was motioning weakly to Tobi who was sitting next to me, he rode up and stood over me.
I sheepishly whispered


He looked confused. I whispered again

“Call Kamal”

When I woke up about 5hours later, Tobi and Kamal were sitting on opposite sides of the bed, flanking me.
I could feel the tension between them. It was like a cloud over the open bed space.
Tobi must have used my Face ID to get into my phone which was what I expected anyways and Kamal, while worried about me, must have not understood why Tobi was there.

I slowly sat up and said

“Have you two met?”

Tobi shook his head and said

“I just called him like you asked”

My lips were chapped and my throat was dry. I swallowed hard and said

“Thank you”

I looked over at Kamal and smiled before continuing

“I told you to call Kamal because he knew my medication and would have been able to tell the doctors”

Kamal jumped in and said

“Yes, I told them already and they gave you a drip and a refill, you should be good to leave here later tonight or tomorrow if you want”

I slid back into the bed.
I could tell that Tobi was dying inside, I could see it on his face. He didn’t know why I fainted and here I was asking another man to come and meet us at the hospital. But, I was not about to explain at that time. I was too weak.
He tried to hold it together for a bit and then he said

“Hey- So I have to go and take care of some work stuff.
Will you let me know when you get discharged?”

I nodded.
He leaned in gave me a hug and then that “man” nod to Kamal before walking out.

As he walked out, I turned to look at Kamal.
He smiled without saying anything. I asked


He smiled and said

“Nothing o. You just know how to pick them”

Slightly embarrassed, I replied

“I didn’t even do anything”

He smiled even more and said

“Yeah right, you never do”

He continued and said

“How are you feeling? I was worried when I got the call”

I looked down on the bed and said

“I’m fine to be honest, I just didn’t take my meds because I couldn’t find them.
But I’m good honestly”

He said

“Are you sure?”

I nodded and said

“You know me, I’m good”

He said okay and then he asked

“Are we still on for this weekend, now that you have decided to put me in a death scare”

I replied

“Ori e” – translates to “Your head” before continuing to say

“Honestly, I should be good with a day of rest and icing my head. I think I hit it on the bed when I fell.
Hurts like a MF”

He replied and said

“Lmaooooo its because your head is so big”

If I could have punched him, I totally would have.


As we pulled up to the venue, I noticed that he still had his drink in the door of the car.

“You’re supposed to have finished drinking that already?”

I whined.
He smiled, picked up the bottle and downed what was left of it. I knew it was going to be a good night.
We walked to the venue and I suggested that we grab drinks before the show started.
We snuck into the connected bar and sat by the bar.

His eyes kept wandering as he was amazed by the setup. There were video games everywhere.
We ordered our drinks and I saw him googling “Mario Kart games on PlayStation 4”. Such a big kid.
I asked the bartender to surprise me with my drink and I think he ordered a Red Bull.
We took our drinks and headed into the venue, the show was about to start.
As we approached the door, we got stopped and were told to get our tickets at the box office. So we walked all the way back to the front, got the tickets and then headed in.

I could tell how handsome he looked by the stank eyes most of the ladies flashed at me. He kept beaming that smile behind me and I was all here for it.
We sat right next to each other but he turned my seat, so my back was to him and we faced the stage.
The entire show, bar when he was on his phone, his hands were on my bum.
I couldn’t wait for us to get out of there.

The show was fun. Lots of laugh, improv nights are always my favorite.
We walked out talking about threesomes – we had seen a lady with a beautiful butt. So beautiful.
I can’t remember who suggested it but we ended up at a club, a few drinks and fist pumping, I was ready to go. I had wanted to jump his bones since I picked him up at the airport.
As we walked out, I noticed this white girl who had come up to me in the club.

She was sitting down on the floor with a cup of ice.
I asked

“What happened? You left me in there”

She was so drunk and even attempting to respond to me, she knocked over her cup of ice and she looked so distraught. I felt bad but I rushed out of there so quick!
We made it to the car and I couldn’t wait to get us home. He was playing music and we were having a great time in the car and then he asked

“How far away from the house are we?”

I nonchalantly replied

“About 5 minutes”

He smiled and once we hit a red light, he leaned over and kissed me.
Then he slid his left hand up my skirt. I couldn’t concentrate.
My legs started shaking and my breathing short. He slid my panties to the side and began rubbing my clit.
I was squirming while trying to keep the car steady.
What the fuck?
I could feel the chills rising up my back. I wanted to close my eyes and let go but we were almost home.
I remember veering out of my lane and my car beeping to alert me.
I was alert alright, my pussy was ready for a beating.
To cap it off, he removed his hand, looked at me and licked my juices off his fingers.

As we pulled in the parking lot, I quickly parked.
I could hear Lil Wayne’s verse on The Motto playing in the background as he reclined my seat.
He leaned in as if he was about to kiss me. I was wrong.
He reached up my skirt and pulled my panties down.
Kissed me on the forehead and hopped out of the car.
I was soooooooo angry!
Like wtf?!

I gathered myself, pulled my skirt down and hopped out of the car.
There he was standing in the middle of the parking lot, all 6’3 260lbs of him. His left hand was to his face.
As I got closer, I realized he was holding my panties to his nose.
We entered my apartment and he sat down on the couch, I made him a drink and pulled down his pants.
I was ready to go.

His moans were my favorite part. His hands running through my hair as he cursed and told me

“This is the best head ever”

My inner thot smiled.
I stroked and slurped down his shaft, soaking his balls and drinking on to my leather couch.
I wanted all of him deep in my throat and in my guts.
He tried to fight it but wasn’t very successful.
He went silent as I stroked his dick with my left hand and juggled his balls with my right hand.
He pushed me off and walked me back to the room.

He climbed on the bed and laid on his back.
I climbed on the bed and planted my pussy on his face before leaning forward and taking in his dick – 69.
It was wet on both ends of the coast as we feasted on each other.
He pushed me off as I came and was about to lean into me, there is a full length mirror at the foot of my bed, I caught a glimpse of myself.
As I laid down, I spread my legs wide. He lowered his member into me and started slow.
Cupping my head in his hand and protecting it from the head board, he thrust in and out.
The pace picked up and my profanity did as well.
He was hitting it right.
His grip on my thighs was as hot as the depths his dick was exploring.
I could see the hunger in his eyes.
He pounded me like candied yams. I was loving it.

When he flipped me over, I was ready.
I arched my back and tooted my ass towards him. He smiled and slide into me.
I could still feel how wet his balls were as they slammed into my clit.
He grabbed the shit out of my waist and he went to work. It was as if we hadn’t seen each other in 3 months.
He kept at it and so did I, throwing it back like a third draft of a senior thesis.

I could feel welling up and getting ready with his canon.
So I wrapped my legs around his butt.
He was leaning all the way into me, I was almost falling off the bed as he pounded my pleading pussy.
I wanted it. More of it.
All of it.
He didn’t stop.
I wouldn’t let him stop.
Just as he was about to let go, I looked back, damn near from the floor and yelled

“Fill me up”

He grunted.
Moaned and pumped me full of his warm seed.
I lay there for a few minutes as he curled up next to me panting for air.
I turned over and said

“Where are my panties?”

He smiled and said

“You’re never getting them back”

It was going to be a long weekend and I was going to enjoy every minute of it.
I rolled over in the bed as he got up and headed to the bathroom.

The lights went on and then he said

“The condom broke”


Welcome to my first series of 2019! Expect a lot more this year. That’s all I’m saying.
Oh also, please leave me a comment and share your thoughts. Thanks!



~Part 2 drops next Saturday! Do not miss it~

Follow @adewus4real

Thank you for reading and commenting. You are highly appreciated. 


© 2019 #WhatTheHeckMan

#WhatTheHeckMan · African · Art · Bloggers · Drama · Erotica · Fiction · Life · Nigerian Writers · Oakland · Poetry · Sex · Stories · Uncategorized · Wirting

Her 2

Her 2

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When We Were Young by Adele

I was fucked.

My mind was racing at a million miles per second.

What was I going to say?

This was not one of those situations where saying a bit was enough.

I needed something big.

As I weaved through traffic, I was consumed by trying to figure out this thing and not so much guilt.

The guilt for what happened would eventually come.

But for now, I need these danfos (buses) to get out of my way and I need the Lord to come my way and save me.

As I turned the corner about 16 minutes from the venue, I finally figured out the first step.

Call Sayid.

I reached for my phone sitting in the cup holder and dialled his number.

He picked up on the first ring.

“Bro, please tell me you are outside”

He asked as I heard him make his way out of the room.

I cursed as I switched lanes and replied,

“Bro, I’m almost there. 

I can’t explainnnnnnnnnnn”

Sayid was always the calm influence, he stopped walking, presumably now outside and in a “safe” space.

He said,

“Everyone thinks you got cold feet and bailed.”

I cursed again.

“Oh shit”

“Wura has been crying all morning and some people have been panicking.

How far away are you now?

He continued.

I glanced at the dashboard clock and said,

“12 minutes max”

He replied,


Get here as fast as you can. Your clothes are here.

I’ll inform Wura and the rest of the gang.

Hurry up bro”

The phone clicked and I dropped it on the passenger seat.

I heaved a huge sigh.

Part 1 cleared. 

Part 2? 

A respectable lie.

Oh don’t judge me! You’ve told a lie or two before.

You haven’t?

Well isn’t that a lie.


My palms were sweaty as I put the car in park.

I hopped out and Sayid was right there waiting for me.

Some late guests were still arriving and making their way into the church.

I was scared.

Worse than the time I got arrested back in Canada. This one terrified me.

What was supposed to be the biggest day of my life, was now a huge mess and it was all my fault.

I ran into the room earmarked for the groom and his groomsmen.

Flipping my clothes, it was a complete makeover.

I went from looking like a cheating average man to the guy your company would bring in to complete a merger.

I was wrapping up the knot on the tie when I heard a knock on the door.

Without turning around and losing anymore time by walking to the door, I said,

“Come in”

The door opened slowly and Wura walked in.

“Diji, where the hell were you?!

I was worried sick!

Did you get cold feet?”

I walked over to her and placed my hands on her shoulders and said,

“Babe, I was robbed last night at gunpoint.

They took the car and threw me in the back. They took my phone and used my car to rob others.

They eventually drove me all the way to Mowe (a city 30 minutes outside of Lagos)

They kept me there with them all night. I begged them and told them I was getting married today.

It was only God in his mercy that allowed them to let me go.

I rushed here as fast as I could.”

She looked so concerned as she said,

“Oh my God!

Baby are you okay?”

I replied,

“Im fine love.

I just need to hurry up and wife your beautiful self up!”

She smiled and I said,

“I love you baby.”

“I love you too”

She said.

“Now go back out there so I can come and make this official”

She beamed as she hurried away in her elegance.

I was a lucky fool.

I looked at myself in the mirror and whispered to myself,

“God please help me”

What was I to do?

Oh how I wish I knew.


Being married wasn’t as difficult as people have always made it out to be. 

Between Wura and I, we began to come up with our own systems of doing things.

Communication was key and I honestly feel like being responsible for another allows us both of us, to do a bit more.

One of the things I loved about Wura as my wife was her effortless ability to drift within her roles.

From Marketing Guru to Home Manager; she was always on top of things.

Trying to make sure I was always happy and I truly appreciated her for it.

But there was something lingering in my chest.

Remember that guilt that I spoke about?

Yeah, it was consuming me. Preventing me from being happy with Wura.

I always wondered, “what if!”

What if she found out?

What if I got tempted again with Bimbo?

To be fair, it had been a month since I spoke to or contacted Bimbo.

We never even processed that night and what might have truly happened.

It was in the past and I wanted to keep it that way.

I was married now, with a new life and new approach. No need going backwards.

But I knew I had to let go of the baggage weighing on my heart.

It was 3:44am.

I lay there looking at Wura as she slept peacefully next to me.

How was she going to take what I was about to say?

Would I still keep my wife, my happiness?

My friend once told me that holding the truth from someone was down to human arrogance, to decide if someone deserved to be in the know.

I was scared and starting to doubt myself again.

I gently tapped Wura.

She didn’t move.

I almost took that as a sign to ignore it and just forget it. One more night to manage living a lie.

But something in me caused me to touch her again, and this time she slowly woke as I said her name,



She said as she woke up and cleaned her eyes with her left hand.

“What’s wrong babe”

She asked,

I sighed and said,

“Nothing. I need to talk you about something”

She seemed more awake now as she said,

“Okay babe. Talk to me”

I almost chickened out but it was like I heard a voice in my head that told me to go on. So I did, I said

“Wura, I want to start by saying I am sorry.

There is nothing you did to cause this. This is all my responsibility. 

I want to ask for your forgiveness more than anything.”

She looked puzzled as she tried to keep calm.

“Babe, talk to me. Whatever it is, we can work through it”

If only she knew, I almost wanted to say that it was impossible to just overlook. 

And working through it?

Well that would mean a tremendous amount of work and trust.

I turned to my left and looked at her as I said,

“The night before our wedding.

I lied about bring robbed and lost. I went over to Bimbo’s house to talk.

And we ended up having sex. When I woke up in the morning, I was running late. 

I wanted to tell you but I was torn between telling you and ruining your special day or keeping it.

But I am tired of keeping it. I wanted to start the rest of our lives with honesty and this has been eating me up inside.

…whatever you decide to do now, I completely respect. 

it was my mistake and even though I can promise it will never happen again, whatever consequences come my way, I am prepared to face.

I just want you to know I am deeply sorry and I love you”

She was crying.

She just stared at me and kept crying. It was extremely scary because I couldn’t tell what she was going to say next if anything.

I just waited.

After a few minutes, I said

“Wura, please say something.”

The crying was replaced with sniffles as the tears dried.

She looked at me and said,

“Diji, it’s okay. We will talk more about it in the morning. 

I can’t think right now”

I couldn’t believe it. 

It almost felt like a joke, a very expensive one. But true to Wura fashion, she turned over and closed her eyes. 

A few minutes later, she was breathing calm and sleeping away.

I couldn’t sleep.

This was a Yoruba woman, a true believer in what is right, sleeping next to me.

The rest of the night till she woke up for work at 6:45am, my eyes stayed wide open.

No sleep whatever.

I couldn’t risk closing my eyes and waking up on the other side.

That morning, as we got up, Wura greeted me and we quickly went about our preparations for work.

At about 7:15am, I was ready to start heading out the door as Wura followed closely behind me.

Normally, I would get in my car in the driveway and back up to either to leave for work or to move so she could leave.

We had a one car lane driveway.

As I reached my car, I didn’t attempt to give her a hug or kiss like I normally would before leaving.

As I opened the door to my car, I turned and said,

“Have a great day love. I’ll see you when I get back”

She smiled and said,

“Have a great day Diji but I won’t be here when you get back… I need some time alone”

There was no use fighting it.

No use trying to change her mind.

Wura was not easily swayed and trying to force her to change her mind would only make her more upset.

I lowered myself into my car and I slowly backed out of the driveway. I waved at her.

She lifted her hand and waved back.

That was the last I would see of her.


Three months went by.

Wura had been living with a friend of hers on the Island.

She had sent her friend to pick up some things when I wasn’t home.

Basically, we were separated.

I didn’t tell anyone about us being separated except Sayid.

He was the only one that truly knew what I was going through.

I had tried repeatedly to reach out to Wura but she blocked all my efforts. 

I knew she was clearly sending a message.

She wanted to be left alone.

That evening, I met up with Sayid for drinks at a place near his house in Ikoyi.

Mid way through the conversation, he asked

“Do you think you guys are done?”

I feared the answer to that question as I replied,

“Bro… I don’t know”

He sipped from his drink and said

“…I think you need to know. 

You have to earn her trust back if you want to stay married to her.

Leaving her alone won’t work forever. You have to aggressively show her you are sorry and ready to be better.”

He was right.

He was almost always right.

But where would I start from. I feared the vulnerability of begging her and being turned away but I wasn’t considering that I had just violated her vulnerability by my act of cheating.

Something needed to be done. And fast.

In an attempt to lighten the mood, Sayid switched the conversation to soccer.

He laughed as he said,

“You better go and fight for your wife since your team Arsenal can never seem to fight for the title”

A huge smile covered my face as I prepared to reply,

“….Abeg shift, all we need is a few more good players and we are ready to….”

My phone started to ring.

It was an unrecognizable number.

I reached down and Sayid said,

“Who is it?”

I shook my head as I said,

“I don’t even know”

I slid my finger across the screen and said,


The voice on the other side was short and concise.

She said

“Hello Diji, it’s Bimbo.

We need to talk”



IMPORTANT NOTICE:  “Behind The Writer” edition #2 is BACK. Basically, I will spend that piece answering questions all of you have for me during the week of my birthday in

AS MANY AS 10 per person.
I’ll pick the TOP 25 and answer them for you all in that piece!
You can also email me your questions at adewus4real@yahoo.com




I made Sayid come with me that evening as we drove to Bimbo’s house.

I didn’t tell her he was with me but I wanted him there incase anything funny tried to go down.

I could sit here and lie to you but daughters of jezebel are everywhere and men can be so weak; sometimes.

Sayid was convinced that going to her house was a bad idea. 

But I considered the fact that if I allowed her to come to my house and Wura ever found out, I would for sure be dead.

I wanted to get this over with.

We pulled up and I asked her to come and meet me outside.

As she walked outside, she noticed Sayid was in the car with me.

I rolled down the window as she said,

“Hey Sayid.

Longest o!”

Sayid smiled and replied,

“Bimbo toh baddest!

Na you dey avoid us o!”

She laughed and said,

“you know thats not true o. Hows everything?”

“We thank Allah.”

Sayid replied.

Their greetings ended and Bimbo asked if she could talk to me in private.

I stepped out of the car and we walked about 15 feet away from it.

Bimbo started by saying,

“Thank you for coming in such short notice.

I really wasn’t planning on calling you.

You made your decision in getting married to Wura and I respect that… so this not an attempt to break you guys up or anything.

….I just wanted you to know that I am pregnant.

Before you ask, you are the only one I have been with since I moved back to Naij.

And I took multiple tests before confirming it at the doctors this morning.

I’m not expecting anything from you but I thought you deserved to know.”

I was in shock as I just stared at her.

She looked at me and said,

“Dj, are you okay?”

I gathered myself and said,

“Yeah..ya. Thanks for telling me.

I just need a moment to think”

Slowly, I turned around as she walked back into her apartment.

When I arrived in the car, Sayid asked me what had happened,

“She’s pregnant bro”

I answered as we turned onto the road.


He asked.

I nodded as I said,


He said nothing else.

And his silence said it all.


I dropped him off and he told me he would swing by the next day.

The drive home was silent.

“Oh no!”

I kept thinking to myself.

This was bad.

It was for sure going to break Wura and I.

I cheated once and now that one time produces a child.

A part of me wanted to scream so loud but I would just look like a mad man on the streets of Lagos.

I just wanted to get home and hide under my bed.

And never leave the room.

As I pulled into the driveway, I noticed Wura’s friends car.

Oh maybe she came to pick up some stuff for Wura.

I sat in the car for a few minutes as I gathered myself before heading inside.

As I opened the door, I turned the corner to my right to the living room.

There were suitcases sitting in the middle of the living room.

And Wura was sitting on the couch behind them.

I looked at the boxes and then at her, speechless.

She said,

“Hi Diji”

I didn’t even reply. My first reply was,

“Are you leaving for good now?”

She looked down at the ground.

My heart began to race.



How could this be happening today!

“Wura, are you leaving me?”

She looked back up at my scared face and said,

“No Diji. 

I’m coming home.

We have a lot to talk about and work through.

I’m not leaving my marriage.

I’m coming home”

I heaved a sigh of relief.

Hurriedly, I rushed over and gave her a hug. 

She was reluctant to hug me.

She looked at me with a half smile and said,

“Diji, we have a lot to work on and deal with.

I am not giving up on my marriage especially over things that happened before we said our vows.

Does it hurt?

Hell fucking yes.

But God heals and I’m willing to work and let you earn my trust if you are willing too.

I honestly thought of running but what good is that…Trials will always come.

But one thing is for sure, I am not giving up on this union and my vows to you before God and man.

… I am also not giving up on our family”

My eyes grew big,

My ears a bit wider.


I thought I didn’t hear her right.

So I asked,


She smiled and said,



I am pregnant Diji”

My face suddenly dropped and I began to cry.


I just sat there and cried.

My heart was happy but I was terrified.

How could this be happening right now?

Life was dealing me a cruel blow and it was going to hurt even more.

All I could think right then was #WhatTheHeckMan


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Thank you for reading and commenting. You are highly appreciated. 


© 2015 #WhatTheHeckMan

#WhatTheHeckMan · #WordsofWednesday · African · Art · Bloggers · Drama · Erotica · Fiction · Life · Nigerian Writers · Poetry · Sex · Stories · Uncategorized · Wirting





Only a short while to go before the skies parted for the sun to arise.

You could hear the crows and their morning call.

In homes around the area, you could hear the moving engines that are people, as they prepared for the new day.

The keys clanked on the front door as I let myself in. 

The cold from the Harmattan morning froze beneath my nails.

“I should have worn gloves.” I thought to myself as I dropped the mail on the receptionist desk. I was the first one here most days.

It was the safest place.


Cliche, as most people claim it as the home of their safety but it truly was that for me.

I have always had a questionable relationship with the church; or God.

But the events of the last few years have been truly humbling.

The way things moved or transpired, I continue to be amazed by how quickly it all changed.

And how everything I thought was not what it was.

I turned on the lights in the main auditorium.

Glancing at the huge wall clock behind me, the time showed 6:48am.

A few paces, and I was back to the technical department where I handled the visual display for the first service on Sundays.

Tuning things in preparation for the welcome chaos that was Thanksgiving Sunday, I realized that it was now 7am.

I needed to check if my brother, Dimeji, had woken up to get my sons Matthias and Tomas ready for church.

He was notorious for not waking up on time, the type to set 5 consecutive alarms to finally wake up.

I tapped my pocket and realized that I had left my phone in my car. 

The keys to the church were sitting on the other end of the auditorium. I considered walking all the way across to grab them before going outside but I decided against it.

Figuring that if I left the door slightly open, I would make it to my car and back before the door could shut.

The phone was ringing as I walked back to the auditorium and then I heard it.


I looked up at the door, as I walked slowly, praying that somehow the door hadn’t shut itself.

By now, I’m sure you know how that went.

It was locked.

And there I was with my phone to my ear and then I heard Dimeji say on the other end in his slurred wake up voice,

“…What’s up bros?”

“Never mind.

Get them ready ”

I replied.

At that moment, the feeling of being stuck out in the cold was all too familiar.

I had made another wrong choice again but this time, someone would let me back in.

The last time I made a decision this big?

Well let me just tell you the story and you can decide how big your #WhatTheHeckMan would be.


“E gbe epo wa”

Roughly translating to “bring the fuel”

Voices piercing the skies laced with anger and discontent, in the familiar pandemonium that is Lagos. People gathered on the side of the street as the yelling continued,

“Eh! Eh! 

Burn him! 

Burn him!!!”

I didn’t immediately run over to offer my help. 

The truth here is that through my time living in this state or even country, I have usually avoided situations like this. 

There is an unwritten rule in the state that is home to one of the largest economies in the world; “mind your business”.

I turned to the right and headed towards the quickly assembling crowd. I moved my phone to my pocket and began pushing my way through the crowd.

“E file na”

“Leave him alone”

The angry crowd beginning to douse him in petrol, getting ready to torch him for some crime.

I quickly gathered that he was alleged to have stolen a woman’s purse.

Neither the purse nor the full story were confirmed missing.

But in the streets of Lagos, you are guilty till proven otherwise.

“E fi sile”

Translating to leave him alone I said.

“Maa fun yin l’owo”

I yelled at the top of my lungs. A few things make Lagos and it’s inhabitants popularly known as Lagosians tick.

Money sits atop that list, never troubled.

My last statement caused some of the parties involved to slow down.

The man was drenched in petrol and all that really was left would be the unfortunate presence of some form of a lighter.

“Let the man go, I’ll give you money for the purse”

I repeated myself as they began to let go of the man.

One man looked at me, unwilling to give up this opportunity to right the wrongs life had put him through. He said,


You know him? Is he your family?”

I almost smiled at his weak attempt at resistance. I reached into my suit jacket and pulled out my check book.

The lady in question and her defence team now shifted their focus to me.

It really was a smooth transaction.

She claimed to have items worth 400,000 Naira inside her purse, if you factored in her iPad and her phone. 

A check was written up and I handed it to her.

She thanked me and left.

The man in question, rose up and began thanking me for saving his life.

I told him it was God and not my doing but I couldn’t watch him be tormented like that.

He continued to thank me. 

I asked him where he lived and he said,


After negotiating with a cab driver and paying him, the man was on his way.

I wasn’t entirely sure he was innocent but he didn’t have the purse with him for starters. 

And who deserves to be burned to death over what was potentially fake leather.

I took off my suit jacket and opened up my car, placing it on the back seat. I grabbed my phone and it began to ring.

“Babe, where are you?”

She asked,

I could hear the stress in her voice. Who knew that planning ones glorious day, could bring so much preparatory stress.

I looked both ways before I crossed the street as I continued talking,

“I’m just walking into the place to check on the drink order and give them the deposit”

She sighed on the other end of the line as I opened the door into the building.

The receptionist greeted me with a smile and paused as she waited for me to finish with my phone call

“Babe, why are you just getting there?

You were supposed to be there an hour ago. you know we still have the rehearsal at 7.

We don’t have that much time”

I nodded as if she could see me. She was tense.

I was too but someone had to always level us out.

That was how we worked.

I smiled and reminded myself not to say “calm down”, unless I was looking to stare death in the face and prepared to lose.

“Wura, I’m coming. 

I know you’re stressed. I’ll be there soon”

I could tell she rolled her eyes.

There was a way she always did it.

“Just hurry up!

I’m having to deal with all these people myself and it’s too much” 

She hung up before I could respond.

I knew I had to get home as quickly as I could. Wura wasn’t one to “crumble” under pressure but if you know weddings in Lagos these days, you would know that pressure doesn’t even come close to what people go through.

It had been 3 years since I started dating Wura. The next day, our wedding day, would mark the beginning of the 4th.

And ultimately the rest of our lives. 

Wura loved me.

I state that by itself because I want to emphasize it. 

The woman loved me into my bones. To the places I never knew love could reach.

I had promised myself to never return to the place of vulnerability that love exposes.

Wura did it.

She found her own way to take my heart away.

Cliche again but she did and I had to find a way to pay her back.

Starting with returning to the rehearsal hall on time.

On my drive back, I got a call from a Tobi. My medical school buddy from Canada.

He was calling to inform me of his safe arrival back home.

I was pleased to hear his voice because Tobi introduced me to Sayid, my best friend, almost 12 years before.

Fresh into school and the cold days in Canada, Sayid and Tobi kept me connected to home.

Tobi had gone to University of Ibadan and introduced me to Sayid who had attended the University of Ilorin with me. 

I never actually knew Sayid while at University of Ilorin, he graduated a year before me but we instantly hit it off.

It was always a great time around him from the music, to the stories and the constant laughs.

We grew close very quickly.

When I pulled up into the rehearsal hall’s parking lot, Sayid met me outside,

“She’s pissed bro”

I pressed the car remote to lock the doors as I walked towards the entrance.

There she was, ever so beautiful, even in her frustrated state.

I mouthed,

“I am sorry baby”

as I approached and flashed a smile at her.

She tried to fight her smile but she soon started smiling.

Inside, I was relieved because Wura had the tendency to go over the deep end if she felt slighted or disrespected.

The rehearsal was pretty painless.

“Stand here, walk this fast, look here… who will have the rings?”

For two hours and then it was all done. 

There were some refreshments provided to the wedding party and other friends present before we all set out.

The guys were staying with me at my father’s house in Lekki while the girls stayed at Wura’s aunts house in the heart of Victoria Island.

I was the last one to leave. 

Walking back into the hall, I headed all the way to the front.

I took my position as I scanned the room, in less than twenty four hours, I was going to be marrying the woman I loved right in that spot.

A quick flashback to where we had been as my eyes welled up. I quickly dried them as I began to recite my vows.

“Wuraola, you are the essence that gives my life purpose

Through loving you, I have discovered what life can be in many ways

To have someone in your corner

To listen to your troubles and your fears

There is something about the way you love me

That makes me want to be a better man

I am lucky to have found you

So Wuraola

I can’t promise to always know

But I promise that I will never stop at okay

I promise to love you with all of me

To protect you

Cherish you

Adore you

Honor you

Be your friend

And everything you need me to be along the way

I am thankful to God that I am about to embark on this journey with you

Thank you for loving me too”

There was a level of honesty to that piece. 

It still brings tears to my eyes as I think of them.

But those were the words that rang true for me. Wura gave me a new purpose in love and I wanted her to know it.

I lingered around for a few minutes and then headed to the car.

As I sat in the car, I reached for my phone and noticed I had two missed calls.

I didn’t recognize the number, so I listened closely to the voicemail.

“Hey Diji, it’s Bimbo. 

Long time, I know you’re getting married soon and I was just hoping we could talk before.

If it’s not possible, I understand.

I will just like to have one proper talk with you before you go off into the sacred land.

If that’s okay with you.

I’m staying at my place on the way to your house. Let me know if you can stop by.”

I listened to it twice. 

Her voice still ringing between my ears as I placed the phone down. I hadn’t spoken to Bimbo in almost two years when I had called to let her know that I was proposing to Wura.

Bimbo and I had been together since before I went to Canada for medical school and we continued our long distance relationship.

Bimbo and Wura were completely different people. 

Everyone that knew us, thought that I would marry Bimbo. The stars looked aligned for it. 

We started out as kids and grew into full fledged adults. But life and it’s unpredictability happened and we broke up.

A lot of the things that happened between us could have been avoided; better communication I would say.

But Bimbo and I broke up and ultimately started dating other people. 

When Wura came along, I was dating somebody else but we started out as friends. 

Once that relationship ended, it was easier for us to start.

But I don’t think I ever stopped loving Bimbo. 

Sometimes I had to convince myself that loving her was the wrong choice. 

I rationalized the decision, but I always felt something was missing.

That night, I shouldn’t have gone to Bimbo’s house but I did.

I knocked on the door and a few seconds later, she answered.

No, she wasn’t dressed in anything sexy or seductive. It was just her.

The way her smile brightened my heart, I stepped in and hugged her.

There was a warmth that emanated from her.

It wasn’t just physical.

Suddenly, I started to feel like my coming there was a mistake.

I still had some feelings for Bimbo.

We began talking and catching up.

She told me that she had just gotten a job working for a law firm on the Mainland and she was happy to be back in Nigeria.

I felt my heart skip a beat.

Having to live so close to the woman I sometimes feel I should have married?

It wasn’t all rosy between Bimbo and I, our families for one did not get along or make any attempts to understand each other.

So we were always swimming against the current.

Hours had gone by and before I realized it, it was a bit past 2am.

Not a single bone in me wanted to leave.

So we kept talking and at one point, Bimbo suggested we watch our favourite movie together “The Usual Suspects.” 

When I was in Canada and she moved to work in Tottenham, England; we would stay up late watching movies via FaceTime.

It was the first time in many years, that we actually sat down to watch a movie together.

Mid way through the movie, she turned over and whispered,

“Thank you”

I smiled and asked,

“What for?”

She looked down and said,

“For coming”

I smiled and she smiled too.

Enough was said.



I slowly yawned as I struggled to get my eyes to open.

Scratching the side of my face and my beard, I twisted and turned.

A long stretch and I was awake.

What would happen next would change everything. I looked to my right and someone was sleeping next to me.

I was confused.

Where was I?

Then, it began to come back to me. I was at Bimbo’s house.

Did I sleep there?

Oh no!

My wedding!

I hoped to God that it was still early enough, I began to search for my phone. 

Noticing it on the bed side cabinet, I reached up to get it. As I pressed the side button, the 46 missed calls did not stand out to me as much as the time did.

It read 11.52am.

I was a dead man.

I let out a squeal, waking up Bimbo as I cursed under my breath. 

Oh, this was bad!

Really bad.

Bimbo slowly woke up and said,

“Dj, what happened?”

Standing at the foot of the bed cutting this dejected figure, I said

“I am fifty two minutes late to my own wedding”

She looked at me puzzled and reached for her phone to confirmed the time as she sprung out of the bed.

“What do we do?”

she asked.

I began to reach for my shoes on my side of the bed when I noticed an empty condom wrapper, right next to my left shoe.

I reached down and picked it up. Holding up, I looked at Bimbo and then back at the wrapper. 

Swallowing hard and slow, I asked Bimbo,

“Did we?”

The look on her face said it all.

I just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole.

The End


IMPORTANT NOTICE:  “Behind The Writer” edition #2 is BACK. Basically, I will spend that piece answering questions all of you have for me during the week of my birthday in





Follow @adewus4real

Thank you for reading and commenting. You are highly appreciated. 


© 2015 #WhatTheHeckMan

#WhatTheHeckMan · African · Art · Bloggers · Drama · Fiction · Nigerian Writers · Oakland · Poetry · Stories · Uncategorized · Wirting

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Through The Noise by Solace

My throat hurt.

My mouth was dry. 

It felt like someone had choked me all night.

Or was it day time? I wasn’t sure.

I slowly opened my eyes

The lights were blinding. My eyes slowly adjusted to the lighting in the room.

Empty but for the wall clock.

The lights filled the room and and the only window was behind me.

I could hear cars in the distance from what I presumed was the freeway.

My mind raced as I tried to understand my current situation.

No clues.

I tried to turn to my left, the strap holding my right hand down pulled me back mid air.

I looked down to my right, my right hand was trapped.

Buckled under the straps, my hands and feet kissed the cold of the leather.

I didn’t bother trying to wrestle out of the hold. 

My deep sigh rang out into the room as I remembered being taken away.

Those agents.

The gurney.

The back of that ambulance.

The lights.

My mother.

That woman.

My eyes suddenly began to well up. 

Why did she do that to me?

Why would she let them take me away?

This place was familiar.

It felt familiar.

I remembered the buzzing sounds of the fluorescent lights. The footsteps in the hallway, the chatter behind the doors. 

My mind collaborated with imagination of the world beyond the walls. 

I smacked my lips as I wetted my tongue.

I could taste the drugs on my tongue.

And I could hear a voice, gracing the halls with a song.

The door opened and a lady walked in.

The lights seemed to dim as she walked in. 

Her foots steps stopped by the bed side and I heard that familiar coarse voice as she said

“Rise and shine Anita”

I looked to my left where she was standing as she flashed a smile.

Her teeth trapped her lollipop stick as she said

“Time to eat. Your session is thirty minutes”

She strapped me down across my pelvic area and slowly released my hands.

I sat up straight and said

“I don’t want to meet with her today”

She walked around to my right side of the bed as she talked

“You have to. She’s coming a long way and she’s here to help you”

I looked at her and asked

“How long have I been here and what day is it?”

She smiled and sucked on her lollipop and replied

“You’ve been here 3days and its Monday”

I muffled my words as I sucked down the chocolate pudding that came with my lunch. It was the best part, believe me.

“So that means I should be getting released today”

She looked startled and said

“Why would you think that?”

I responded by saying

“…because you are a 72hr hold facility. So I should be released soon”

“She giggled and said

“Oh dear. You’re here on a 5250.

We are keeping you for 14days”

I stopped, my mouth full of baby carrots

I looked at her standing by the door


She looked at me and said

“Because you made suicidal and homicidal comments. So we have to watch over you and take care of you”

I snarled back and said

“Homicidal comments at who?!”

My tone shook her as she stepped back and said

“Your mother, I believe”

I cursed under my breath.

This woman wouldn’t let me be.


I heard the keys clank on the metal door outside and then it opened.

My hands were still loose as I sat back and waited for her to arrive.

She smiled at me as she pushed up her glasses 

She pulled her chair closer and said

“Good morning Anita”

I nodded and replied

“I don’t want to do this today”

She scribbled on her notepad and said


I rolled my eyes and turned to the left as I said

“I’d just rather not”

She asked again

“You know everything we talk about in here is confidential, right?”

I sighed and nodded as I replied

“Look, you want me to talk to you and then what? We have been here talking for days now and all you do is write and then you go away. You’re probably going to put this information somewhere my mother will find it”

She sat up straight and said

“I’m only here to try and help you. I don’t work for or with your mother. I just want to know what has caused you to see the world the way you do.

So can you tell me a bit about what happened between you and your mother”

I stared straight ahead and then I looked at her and said

“You may not believe me like the last person I told”

She again used her index finger to push up her glasses and then said

“Try me”

I laid back down on the bed and began.

“I was 13 when my dad died. About a year later my mother started dating another man.

At the time I didn’t understand it fully but as I got older, I realized she needed her happiness too.

So I tried to support it.

Things took a very painful turn when her new boyfriend started to rape me”

I paused for  second and tears filled my ducts. 

I swallowed hard and then I continued

“I wasn’t sure what was going on. My mother never had the sex talk with me or advised me about anything really.

Best put, my mother and I were roommates within the home… she did her thing and I did mine.

I was first put in therapy after my dad passed because my mother thought that something was wrong with me.

I had always felt an animosity from her. Somehow she believed that my father loved me more than he loved her.

It was a really dark place to live in.”

She continued to scribble things on her notepad

I shifted in my bed and continued talking

“My school had a seminar around sexual exploitation and child trafficking.

It was then I understood the depths and the power of rape.

They explained how it was affecting my mental health, my relationships, my self esteem and even my trust in men.

I began to think of ways to talk to my mother about it… did I mention my mother was an alcoholic?

Whenever she got the chance, she would drink. 

I always thought she was trying to drown something deep inside her… anyways, it took me about 3weeks but I finally summoned the courage.

That evening, I had returned from dance practice a bit late, about 9:30pm. 

I remember walking into the house and greeting her.

She didn’t say much back to me.

She had been drinking.

I went into my and almost talked myself out of it. 

It took me a little while but I finally came out and spoke to her.

I was shocked by what happened next. 

She turned on me.

She told me that i was too young to know anything and that I was trying to ruin what she and her boyfriend had.

She basically accused me of lying”

“Your mother did?”

the psychiatrist lady asked

I nodded and said


I am not 100% sure but I guess she talked to him because for about a week after that day, he didn’t come into my room.

But then he returned.

And that night he was more aggressive. I couldn’t walk. 

Everything hurt.

So that evening after dance practice, I went to speak with the older brother of a friend who I knew was in gangs.

I told him I wanted a gun. He joked and then I told him I was being raped.

He offered to take the shot for me.

I got the gun that night.

And when he came into my room the following night. I shot him.

And then I took 45 pills.

Somehow I woke up in the psych ward under evaluation.

I haven’t seen my mother since. For almost 10 years. 

She just went off the grid.

The whole time in the psych ward, my mother never showed up. 

The social worker came and I was told that my mother revoked her parental rights and I was now a ward of the court.

The devastation.

I wasn’t sad that I shot the man but to be honest, my mother shot me twice”

I looked at the psychiatrist and said

“Are we out of time yet?

The lady smiled and said

“Don’t worry. Today I’ve got time.

You can go on if you’d like”

For someone so used to bottling things deep inside of me, this felt good to release.


She never came back.

And a placement wasn’t found for months.

While I waited, there was government testing done and I was picked.

The day I left the facility was the day I swore to never come back. Obviously, as you can see, that dream didn’t come true.

I vowed that day to get my revenge on my mother.

She changed the course of my life.”

It was clear she was intrigued by the story

I asked

“Is there any way I’ll be able to get out of the straps.

Maybe go for a walk. Its been days in these things and I’m only out for showers.

She seems unsure but she said

“I’ll see what I can do.

I’ll say something to the on call staff once we are done here…

So tell me… How has living without your parents and working for the government been?”

I smirked and said

“I’ve seen and done things. I’ve seen lives snuffed out of men with no regard for the families that they leave behind.”

There was a serious look on her face. It was a mixture of surprise and fear or maybe concern.

” is this where you’re going to ask me if I ever killed anyone?”

She paused and said

“Have you?”

I smiled and laid back down. The smile disappeared from my face as I said

“My cousin…. 

On my breaks from duty or assignments, I thought I could stay with him.

One night even with all my training, he overpowered me and raped me.

Somehow I think my handler wanted me to kill him. 

They basically handed him to me on a platter.

It’s funny because I was out. I had told them that I wasn’t going to be a part of it anymore.

I was traveling back from Sudan when they cornered me and then I was left with two bodies.

I took care of it but I was back in.

Before I agreed to take on missions, I had clarified that above everything, the person I wanted to get to most was my mother.

So after many years of working with them and no success I was about to quit. They roped me back in.

What I don’t understand is how she got to me first though. 

How did she find me?

It doesn’t make any sense but then all of his doesn’t make much sense to people”

The psychiatrist lady sat upright and placed her folder down on the floor right next to her left foot.

She looked at me and said

“Anita, I have to ask you an important question.

Are you open to it?”

I turned my head to my left side and said


She smiled back and said

“In your file, it says that while you were in the facility, when you were 14. It says that you were diagnosed as having PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder” and Schizophrenia.

Those are heavy tags to live with, how do you feel about that?”

I sat up straight and said

“Here we go!

Now you’re going to think I’ve been making it all up!

This is why I never want to talk to shrinks!

They always act like I’m lying.

This is pointless”

She motioned with her hands as if to say “calm down”.

With a soft tone, she replied and said

“Anita, I’m not here to judge you. I’m here to learn about you.

So I can help you”

“It’s whatever!” 

I chimed back.

The session was pretty much done at this point as I was starting to get really angry.

She leaned back and said

“I’m sorry if that upset you. 

It was certainly not my intention. Before I leave, can I ask this?

Would it be possible to have a session or two with your mother to see if some repairs can be made to your relationship?”

I sighed and said


“I know there are some difficult feelings between you two but I feel like with time and work, they are things that we can work through as a team.

How does that sound?”

She asked.

I smiled and said

“I’d like that.

Maybe finally my mother and I can talk after all these years.”

She asked

“So no animosity?”

I shook my head and said

“Not anymore.

Hate consumed me. I’m tired of it”


It had been about a week since that session.

They had moved me into another room. It had more things in it.

I was now out of isolation and allowed to mingle with the other residents. 

I was out in the resource room when my name was called over the public address system. 

I rushed over to my room and a few minutes later, at about 2pm sharp, there was a knock on the door.

The door slightly opened as the psychiatrist, Theresa, walked in. 

She smiled big and said 

“Hey Anita. How are you today?”

I replied and said

“I’m okay. You?”

“Very well thank you.”

she responded and continued to say

“…So I just wanted to confirm before we start today’s session, that it’s okay if your mom joins us?”

I smiled and nodded while saying

“Yes. I’m looking forward to it”

She smiled and said

“Thank you. I’ll be right back.”

I looked around my room and smoothed the edges of my bed. I was wiping down my desk when there was a gentle knock and a quick open

Standing behind Theresa was my mother.

The woman I went as far as joining the centralized government’s taskforce to find, was right here.

She found me.

It was bittersweet.

I ‘m not sure about how I still felt but I think a part of me was very relieved.

After all these years, to sit across from her.

She timidly walked in approached me and gave me a hug. 

She said

“Oh my daughter, how I have missed you”

It was a long hug. A cold one.

We separated and sat down in our seats.

Theresa started by saying

“Thank you both for coming. I am happy this is getting under way. I hope we can all benefit from this as a group and even as individuals.

Anita, anything you would like to start with?”

She smiled and looked my way. 

This time, I didn’t smile. 

No affect.

She tried again and said


Is everything okay?”

I still said nothing.The puzzled looks on their faces was priceless.

It was silent for a few minutes and then I turned Theresa on my left side and said, 

“Can you please give us a minute alone?”

She gathered her things and went out of the room.

I stayed silent and then I said

“Why didn’t you believe me back then?”

I looked her straight in the face. The cold in my face.

I just stared at her.

Then she broke the silence

“Anita, you were young and naive. You didn’t know what you were saying”

No change to my affect, I calmly said

“So you’re sure that was the only option. Not believing me. Your own daughter. You know how much that experience broken me. How much it took from me?

Affected my life and my relationships.”

She smiled and said

“Anita, there comes a time when you have to stop blaming others for your misfortunes.”

“Wait what?

You think I enjoy this? You think I loved living this pain?

The sense of worthlessness, that I don think I’m worthy of ta=

You’re mistaken and this was a mistake.”

I snapped back.

Before I could finish, my mother got up and headed for the door.

She said

“It seems this is not going to go anywhere and maybe I shouldn’t have come.

I wish you all the best.”

I got up and said

“Mom, wait, what, I’m sorry.

Can we please talk?”

She turned around and walked towards my outstretched arms.

I hugged her with my arms behind her back. 

I removed my right hand and placed the handkerchief on her nose.

Holding the back of her head with force, I pushed the piece of clothing onto her face.

A few seconds later. She was out cold.

Laying lifeless on the floor of my room.

I walked to my door and opened it. I peeked into the hallway.


I rushed back and grabbed my already packed back from under the bed.

I pulled her by her shoulders and out into the hallway. 

I had to get to the garage as quickly as possible.

The cameras were going to get me but I was about to get out.

I ran to the door that led to the stairs. It had the “Emergency Exit Only” sign on it. The kind that would trigger if you opened the door without knowing the code.

The door was unlocked already.

Down the stairs I dragged her and minutes later, into the parking garage. 

The night shift crew usually started at 4pm and worked till midnight. 

Their change was coming up. The afternoon staff was about to do their rounds and they would have noticed that I was missing.

In the garage, there was a running van.

I ran towards it and jumped in the drivers seat. 

Slamming my foot on the gas, I drove the van till I was by the door.

I hopped out of the car and yanked the door back into the building open, I dragged my mother out of the building and i pulled her to back of the van.

When I pulled open the double doors of the van, there was a big black box. 

I climbed into the back of the van and dragged the empty box to the edge.

I stepped out of the van and lifted my mother into the back of the van.

Folding her body into the box was hard but I dumped her in there.

Head first.

And then I squeezed the rest of her body in.

I locked the box with the padlock and I jumped out of the van.

I rushed into the drivers seat and drove towards the exit.

There usually was a guard there but there was no guard that afternoon.

As I pulled up, the gate slowly opened and I drove out.

This was my city.

I weaved my way through the growing rush hour traffic and about 35minutes later, I was by the water side.

The same place Hazim had brought me back then.

I parked the van and left it running.

I jumped out as I slid some gloves on my hands. I yanked the van’s rear doors open as I climbed in.

The box was obviously now heavy.

I bent down and I pushed the box towards the door of the van.

I got down and dragged the heavy box to my desired spot.

There was a shovel sitting by the stairs that led to the water front. I grabbed it and began digging.

My arms worked as I dug away.

I could feel the sweat trickle through my braids and down the back of my neck.

My palms were sweaty beneath the gloves as I dug away. 

There was an anger within me each time the metal from the shovel split the dirt.

I remembered every night with my legs wide apart as my mother’s lover violated me.

I remembered those cold nights in training camp where I actually missed her voice. I remembered the sound of the voice of the social worker as she told me my mother gave me up.

I remembered killing a man.

And another man.

I remembered dying.

Long before I realized.

She let me die. I remembered the way my heart raced as I opened up to my mother about rape.

I remember how she looked into my eyes and pulled the trigger.

And then I heard a noise.

It was a muffled sound coming from the box.

She had woken up.

I stood there heaving as I stopped digging.

I went closer to the box and right when I was about to open it, I heard another familiar voice.


I turned to my right and at the top of the steps was Hazim.

He had a smile on his face as if to say “well done partner”

As he drew closer, I asked

“How did you do it?”

He smiled and said

“It doesn’t matter. What matters is that you got her. But I have to ask, did you really have to go through all this to get her though.

I know you knew that we had found her when she called you on the phone that day.

So why all this”

I smiled and said

“This was all a smokescreen”

I moved the shovel to my left hand and continued

“It was a distraction to my original plan. 

Revenge was always my top priority but I wanted it to feel natural. She was always going to run from me. So I had to make it impossible for her to see me coming.

I was miles ahead.

Being taken into the psych ward was all part of the plan.

And her not seeing me coming, makes it even sweeter”

He smiled. Oh I loved the smile on his face.

It showed that he respected me and the lengths I went to exert my revenge

Then he said

“Well, I’m glad you are getting what you have always wanted. Since I met you, its all you’ve talked about.

Here you go”

Hazim handed me an envelope.

I collected it and peeked inside. it was the same gun, I shot my cousin with.

I smiled and I said

“Thank you Hazim.

Truly. For everything.

You are a true friend”

He came closer and he gave me a hug and a peck on the cheek.

He straightened his suit and said

“Are you really going to go through with it?”

I smirked and said

“What do you think?”

He rolled his eyes and said

“I don’t even know why I asked.”

as he turned around and began walking back towards his car.

He said

“Leave the van.

Someone will be here to take care of it soon…”

He was about 4ft away from me when I said


He turned around and 


I shot him.

Right in his head.

I walked over to the box and opened it.

There was my mother.

Shivering at the sight of the gun in my right hand. She had just heard the shot ring through the early evening sky.

I smiled and said

“Mother, can I ask you question?”

She didn’t respond. She just continued to beg 

“Anita! Anita!! Anita!!!

I’m so sorry for everything… Pl..plea…pleee..Please let m…

Give me a chance to make it right”

My face suddenly became serious.

And then I asked

“When you had sex with him after I told you he raped me, did you heard my cries in your ears and in your head?”

She was still begging. I yelled


She continued to shiver and said

“Anita! I’m sorry!

Please I’m sorry”

I looked her in the eyes.

I could touch her fear.

I could feel her desperation. I could taste her tears from where I stood.

“Anita, I’m sorryyy…y..y.y..yyyyy…!”


She went silent as life slowly abandoned her to the chaos that filled this world

And I whispered

“…I’m not”

I walked over to Hazim and dragged his body to the body.

It took me a few minutes but I forced his well toned frame into the box.

Both bodies in the box.

I returned to digging.

I turned to the left and blood was flowing onto the dirt from the corner of the box.

After about twenty more minutes, I walked over to the box and with all my strength, I dragged it to the hole.

I dropped it in hole.

I walked back to the van and opened the passenger side door. On the floor was a can of fuel.

I returned to the hole and bent down to open the box. I dumped most of the fuel all over the two bodies and set fire to it.

I dropped the can next to the hole and I walked back to the top of the stairs.

I sat down on the bench and lit myself a cigarette.

The smoke from my mouth sailed into the sky as the dark smoke from the hole filled the sky.

I smiled and kicked my head back.

One of the things I learned early on from working with Hazim was to always stay far ahead of your target.

Because if you let them get too close, you might still take them out but they have the chance to get to you.

Hazim was too close.

And I could eventually have become his target.

Call it paranoia but I would rather not take chances.

The sun was beginning to set over to my left.

I gazed up at it and puffed out another smoke.

A smile covered my face.

It had been a rollercoaster ride and I drove that shit without my seatbelt on. 


Oh what I would pay to see the look on your face RIGHT NOW! (Please remember to tweet #WhatTheHeckMan #SanmiSaturdays once you are done commenting! Thank youuuuuu!)

I bet you didn’t see that coming.

Well, it’s WhatTheHeckMan, so what do you expect besides the unexpected.

If you enjoyed this captivating and sometimes scary series, PLEASE LEAVE ME A COMMENT BELOW.

But before you do that I have one question I’d like you to answer

The End


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