#WhatTheHeckMan · #WordsofWednesday

Why Do You Cry So Much?

WordsOfWednesday

It’s been about 6months since I started my diet with changes that I hoped would help change my internal and external appearance.

I called my diet Green and Grown – I focused on eating things primarily green (leaves) and grown out of the ground (potatoes, vegetables, and such)
My target date to check in on my body and see how much progress I had made was 9/2/22 before my friend Renny’s wedding.

I had to weigh myself for something else around August 2nd and I had already hit the target goal I was aiming for.
Altogether, I had lost ~49pounds.
I was shocked and I began crying – I think I always knew I was capable but I also just didn’t know I could.
But here I am doing the damn thing- someone asked me recently how I had been able to achieve most of my goals.
Truth?
This battle has been won in the kitchen and evidence made known at the gym.
Here’s how

Green and Grown

Shirataki Noodles, Grilled Chicken, Avocado and Rice

– I made sure I was overloaded on vegetables and things loaded in fiber (I swear by Shirataki noodles), they are low in calories and high in fiber.
My typical meal with them stays balanced – Shirataki noodles, a scoop of rice, grilled chicken thighs, half a plantain (y’all know I love my plantain) & avocado.

Outside of the meals, the biggest thing was the mentality change. I became super conscious about everything I ate – yes sometimes I get obsessed with counting calories but the truth is by checking EVERY SINGLE THING, I have been able to stay ahead of my diet.

Fell out of love with rice and pasta

Growing up in a Nigerian home, Sundays were meant for rice.
I fell in love with pasta when I came to America and frankly it is the only thing where portion control goes out of the window.
Over the last few months, I cut both out.
Completely.
I replaced them with other carbs and when I started eating them again, I would only eat them in very small quantities.
I quickly realized I really like both but I was not that deeply in love with them.
I got creative about supplementing them.
Truth be told, I won’t say cutting them out entirely has changed my diet or life – but helping redefine my relationship with both has helped.

Emotional eating

I realized I was an emotional eater. Emotional eating is not only eating when you are sad and stuffing your face, it could also mean not eating when you should. Typically when your mood is low.
For me, when I am sad, I opt for sleep.
It then means I may not eat for a long time.
By the time I decide to eat, it’s 11pm or midnight. Sometimes sef, mo ti ro eba ni 1am. Not cap.
I had to change and get on a strict schedule.
Now I have to eat or drink a smoothie by noon, lunch or brunch snack by 3pm-ish, and dinner before 7pm, 8pm at the latest.
It doesn’t matter how I am feeling, I just make sure I eat something and so far it has changed how I look at food.

Get Practical

The other day, I realized that I do something I thought was funny.
Before when I wanted to ensure I didn’t forget something while leaving the house, I would set a reminder on my phone.
The problem was sometimes, even with the reminders, I would still forget.
So I changed and I started doing something else. If wanted to make sure I took something out of the house with me, I would place it right in front of the door heading out of my home.
That way, I physically had to bypass it to leave.

I started doing this with my food – I changed the plates I eat with, I stopped buying certain ingredients into the house, and so on.
I don’t believe it’s enough to assume or want to do something, I believe you have to be physically practical about your goals.
Outline the workouts you want to do at the gym, and align on the timeline you want for certain things – all of those things will eventually help you arrive where you’d like to.

Random Musings of the Week

Adulting is HARD

I remember when all I cared about was running fast enough to use the bathroom and wash my hands before my cartoons would come back from commercials. Now I am thinking of love languages, genotypes, credit scores, savings, and more.
When did it all become so difficult?

Kindness is important

The only currency I want to be paid in is kindness and respect.
Too often we decline what we can do vs. what we should do. People don’t always deserve our kindness but we should give it regardless.

Stay Up, Stay Safe & Stay Strong.
I LOVE YOU!

Yours always,

The Wordsmith
Master of Cliffhangers

Please leave a comment below.

Please comment, retweet and share. Thank you for your continued support.
You are highly appreciated.

WordsOfWednesday

© 2022 #WhatTheHeckMan

#WhatTheHeckMan · #WordsofWednesday

Love Sucks

WordsOfWednesday

But it could all be so great?

Leave it…better

Why does “love” today make us harder?
In many situations, people come out of romantic relationships fully afraid of reentering new ones.
Think for a moment – have you ever genuinely left an ex better than you met them?
A better lover, more eager to love, more vulnerable, and in today’s word of the day – softer?

Those women that think they make every partner better, please exit left. This is not for you or your ego.
I’m not asking if you did a good job being a pseudo mom to a man-child or did a great job babying someone.
I’ve been thinking about how we sometimes treat relationships like a war zone and we are the aggressors.
We come in and pillage – we collect and collect on both fronts, then we leave and each person has to pick up the pieces and make sense of the ruins.

I’d love to think of relationships as paid internships (unpaid internships should be abolished).
You go in, you learn, express yourself, develop, and when the internship is over you get offered a full-time role.
Sometimes we decline the role but it doesn’t stop us from being excited to take another in another company or another team.
You should be leaving everyone you interact with better than you met them, in one or many ways.

Strive for better in your next interactions. Please note that better doesn’t mean going from 10% to 35% but it can be from 4%-4.2% and sometimes that is more than enough.

________

What is your threshold for joy?

Our trauma and pain often condition and asks us to know what our limits to pain are but never to identify what the max level of joy we can contain.
As you read this if you have been heartbroken before I bet you can easily pinpoint how much pain your heart has felt and how it never wants to experience that again.
BUT…can you convey the highest realms of joy that you have experienced and if your heart can expand just a bit more to experience more joy?
Many of us don’t know.

There is a question we were not really taught to answer – what if it actually goes right?
What if I experience tremendous joy? Peace? Love?
The natural instinct is to prepare for the worst but what happens if we strive for the best?

I challenge US to think about our threshold for joy. What if, just what if it all works out?
What if we find peace in the things and space we occupy?
I want to learn how much happier I can get and most importantly, I want to allow myself to experience it without fear, guilt or trepidation.

_________

I have too many emotional tabs open right now

I think we all do but I wanted to acknowledge that.

Thank you for reading another WordsOfWednesday. I appreciate you all being here.
Please leave me a comment below – they truly make everything better and I hope you have a great rest of the week. See you soon and till then, stay up!

Stay Up, Stay Safe & Stay Strong.
I LOVE YOU!

Yours always,

The Wordsmith
Master of Cliffhangers

Please leave a comment below.

Please comment, retweet and share. Thank you for your continued support.
You are highly appreciated.

WordsOfWednesday

© 2022 #WhatTheHeckMan

#WhatTheHeckMan · #WordsofWednesday · African Stories · Bloggers · Drama

Am I the drama?

In this life have sense, money, and shame.

Words of Wednesday

Some friendships are only for a season,
Sometimes they come in during your harvest
Others during your drought
Some are the shoulder to lean on
Some need your shoulder
A few are like mortgage contracts
Thirty-year fixed
Others are shorter than a Netflix show
When some end
It’s like an Iroko falls in the forest
While others end with a soft block and unblock
Then you change your Netflix password
And forget they ever existed

The fear of loneliness is what makes it hard for some of us to audit our friendships because the truth is after some of those reviews, you’ll realize you were already alone.
That you had grown apart while standing next to each other.
Amazing to see that the pandemic of the last two years has brought many closer and some others completely dropped out of the picture.
When was the last time you audited your friendships? Auditing also means reviewing your own performance and input in that space – are you worthy to still be called their friend?

Over the last few days, I have been thinking about the concept of “shelf life” and the spaces we occupy. Think of it like this – remember that vase your mom or dad had on the shelf. All your childhood, it was just there, in some African or Latino homes, it may even have been the place they hid emergency monies or keys.
Notice how it was there for years and despite not moving much, it always served a purpose?
Those are your riders, they may change color, grow old but they are there and impactful.
Others are like the flowers in the vase – pretty for a while but ultimately, they “die and fade” and you hardly remember them beyond the short excitement they provided in the time they were there.

Auditing my friendships over the last few weeks, the following random thoughts jumped out to me

Don’t Stagnate,

Stagnation is scary. Not really the stagnation of you life but truly looking at the core of a man or woman.
Money doesn’t buy swag.
Houses and cars don’t hide insecurities.
And truth be told, sometimes the wealth you acquire to cover the manhole of inadequacies, only makes those flaws more glaring and sad when they rear their heads.
I realized quickly that I am very afraid of seeing my friends stagnant, emotionally to be precise.
How are you still having the same types of fights or outbursts as you did when you were 21? Where is your evolution?
Do not be stagnant. You may have more money in the bank, and more rings on your hands but has the child in you grown? Found peace?
Start within.

Am I the drama?

If you are the one constant when drama arises in a group, maybe, just maybe you should stay closer to your therapist and be more diligent in your self-improvement work. The tweet above sums it up.
At some point for your friendships and relationships to blossom, you need to find a way to self-reflect and introspect. Are you the drama?
Are you the one people need to tiptoe around?
Have you gotten those mood swings in check? Do you drift in and out of being present?
Are you still unable to see the group but only yourself?
Hmmm.

When did we become our parents?

I noticed a few months ago that I was the person that would be wronged by someone and not really feel the need to defend myself. Happened a lot.
People would say or do things that were false and I would always rely on “God knows best and my truth is mine”
I recently realized where that came from. A few years ago, there was someone in my church that was going around telling lies about my dad – the Pastor.
It was causing so much pain to me because all I wanted to do was defend him but he always told me to let it go.
For months, it raged on till the person left the church and went to another church. Still smearing his name.

A few months later, I came back home late in the evening, it must have been around 11pm. When I pulled up, there were cars I recognized around the house.
Walking in, I noticed a group of people in the second living room. They did not see me, nor did I want them to but I did peek in.
Guess what I saw?
That same woman and her husband were on their knees begging my dad.
She apologized for lying against him and such.
And my dad in typical fashion, he forgave. My mother was furious!
But my dad has always been big on forgiveness. And so am I, the only difference is that I am not one to forget, you will not do it to me twice.
IT just got me thinking, when did I become my dad?
I am super particular like him, I dress serious like him, and I emotionally approach things and conflict like him. Damn, I truly am that man’s son.
Sorry, Maury.

Are you like your parents or guardians in any way? And when did you realize that you had become like them?
Let me know in the comments below!

Thanks for reading!

#WhatTheHeckMan · #WordsofWednesday

Letters from Lekki ✨

Phase 1

Written on January 2nd, 2022

It’s been a tradition for many years that on my visits to Lagos, I get incredibly inspired to create new content. Whether that is writing or pictures or even business ideas, something always pops up.
The struggle always comes around taking the time to actually write or share the content created – something I hope to improve on in 2022.

But last night, I slept early. In my hotel room alone, after missing dinner plans, I ordered in some Afang (not a fan) and Eba. Because I need to watch something while I eat, I watched Zootopia.
Don’t question me! I love my kid/animation movies.
Shortly after, I knocked out and I woke up about an hour ago. 6:56am.
I have plans today that I am very excited for but for now, I wanted to put down a few thoughts swirling in my head.
2022 is young but it already promises so much, so here are a few thoughts.

Execute, Now.

If you are like me, there are certain things that have been on your resolutions list for a few years.
You keep watching it and moving it from year to year like a depreciating asset on your balance sheet.
Look, life is hard. Mr Eazi lied.
But one thing I have always lived by is that regret is much worse than failure.
Think about the things you regret, not saying “I love you” to someone or seeing your favorite actor and not asking for a picture.
Those linger longer and cut deeper than the time you burnt a recipe you tried for the first time or when you got a low mark on a test.
The key here is that you tried. Me, in certain areas of my life, I am never afraid to try but in others, I hesitate.

I ask us this year to just do it. Execute on it. You really won’t “fail” because you’ll be learning from each instance. Do it now, so you can look back months from now and see progress and learnings. Not regret for never starting.

Stop Breaking Your Own Heart

Stop waiting on that apology. Stop expecting that person to treat you better.
Stop overstating your importance in the lives of those around you.

Most of my heartbreak in recent times has been from over-extending my heart into areas where it had previously been scarred. For a long time, there was a person that I wanted our relationship to work so badly.
The biggest stumbling block, they are the friend that never apologizes first or sees they’re wrong unless they’re completely backed against the wall. Believe it or not, there were nights I would cry because I just wished they would do better.
The final nail in the coffin, they tried to gaslight me. This person said to me that they believed how I responded to them upset them and they couldn’t explain it. Plus they assumed some of my tweets were directed at them.
On said day, I was working and very busy. So obviously replying the message was not a priority.
Don’t get me wrong – I was fully aware that them not getting a prompt reply was a trigger for them but what happens when I am not even looking at my phone or focusing on that at all?
Or when MY own world is busy.
Anyways, the friendship fizzled out and I have no intentions of being the one to rekindle it because I am tired of breaking my own heart. IF all the time passes and they are not self-aware or reflective enough to realize where they messed up and own the situation, why should I keep hurting myself?

This year – say no to things or situations that keep traumatizing you and stop breaking your own heart.

You do not have a monopoly on someone else’s happiness

Less Ego, More Love – nothing related to Wizkid or Burna or Davido or Shatta “He needs a psych eval” Wale.
Oftentimes, we believe that because of what we experience with certain people, their future happiness should be tied to how they made us feel.
Sorry but that can’t work. Never.
A previous ting of mine got engaged recently and it was beautiful to see. Truth be told, I knew it would happen someday – aside from our relationship she was a good person.
But a part of me always felt slighted that she wasn’t this great version of herself while with me. Self-reflection will tell you that I probably had a part to play in that but I still felt a way.

In 2022 and beyond – please remember, you do not own people or have any influence on their short or long-term happiness. Focus on making you the greatest version of yourself and leave the rest for the universe to sort out.

Forgive yourself

If you are like me, you have been through quite a bit. It’s normal. We’ve seen things and felt things.
Been hurt, hurt people and seen ourselves evolve.
One thing about people is that we wear our trauma like tattoos gotten in dark alleys and reminders on our hearts like passport stamps but we fail to sit in our happy moments as if the showers of joy come with hailstones.

Much of the trauma and hurt you have faced have you cautious, closed-off, defensive, reclusive, overextending, overcompensating, unable to accept compliments or love, and so on. It’s normal and perfectly okay but this year, look into the mirror like Issa and forgive yourself.
For the parts, you played and for the things you did or said, then forgive yourself and move on.

You deserve light and fluffy love like perfect pancakes. You deserve smiles that light up the room.
You deserve the best YOU.

So go after that person in 2022 and truly be the best of you.
The world will be better for it.

#WhatTheHeckMan · #WordsofWednesday

Step Away!

Taken on April 4th, 2022

Lessons I’m learning on my weight loss journey

It’s barely 4pm and I just had my first meal of the day. Well if you count my smoothie, then I guess second. But my smoothie was three scoops of protein powder and half a cup of Almond milk.
I’m deep in the trenches.

It’s been 3weeks since I started my Green and Grown diet (basically eating only veggies and things growing out of the ground with chicken and turkey for protein).
It has been an interesting road so far.
And I figured I would share some updates on how things are going. So here are some of the lessons I have learned in my 21days of changing my diet and my life

Lesson 1:
Ignore the scale and the mirror for a while

You know how you, yes YOU will go to the gym once and the next morning you’re looking for the abs or the fatter ass?
Yeahhhh same concept.
I struggle a lot with this because on most days, I would wake up and check myself in the mirror. Mostly because I would always observe my body and make sure everything was still in place and still working.
You know 30+ vibes

But there have been many days where I look at myself and because I don’t see the full sculpted version I have been working on, I briefly get discouraged.
Thankfully I ultimately push through but I can’t help but notice that I struggle with it.
This past weekend, I was at a birthday dinner for one of my really good friends and someone hugged me – touching my torso, they said “oh wow, your work is really showing. I be seeing you go off on IG but you’re killing it”
The next day, I had another event and people again complimented my progress, despite the fact that I was wearing a sweater that hid most of my body.

There is progress – someone asked me recently after complimenting “how much weight have you lost?”
I honestly don’t know and I don’t want to know.
I have found that the scale has been one of the places where my joy had been stolen. So no I do not want to know.
I would rather continue working on myself till I see visible changes that I want like I sleep better, not be short of breath when I run upstairs or I can go longer – hehehe if you know what I mean.
So my lesson for you as well in this time, ignore the scale and the mirror – keep pushing and one day you will look up and love the way you look. I guarantee it – props to you if you got that Men’s Wearhouse reference!

Blurry but Happy!

Lesson 2:
Love on yourself more than you want others to

Positive talk – remind yourself that you are a work in progress and frankly you are doing the work.
For me, I decided that this year and this stretch would be when I change my body for the rest of my life and that means a lot to me. For who I Want to be – for my wife, my kids, my future.

I am trying to be kind to myself in any way possible because like I said, I am doing the work. I realized that my discipline is the biggest gain I can ever get – when it’s all said and done, it won’t be how many pounds lost, it will be how much I’ve proven to myself that I would never give up.
And that is love.
Never giving up on someone or something.

So spend time telling yourself you are awesome and you are great. Remind yourself that you will achieve all that you want to achieve.

Lesson 3:
Celebrate the small wins

Last week on one of those days that didn’t feel so great at the gym, I felt annoyed. I was starting to lose faith in the work I was putting in.
But from somewhere I got the nugget (oh how I miss those!) to focus on the small wins.
That for me looks like in the last 9 days I have typically eaten dinner before 6pm.
Some days are even closer to 4pm.

Yes.
I would eat a decent-sized meal (really small – sample picture below) and just drink water later at night when I get hungry.
There was a day last week when I REALLY wanted to drink Garri with Peppered Turkey but it was 10pm.
I almost gave in but I forced myself to say no. I drank some water, and some green tea and I went to bed.
The next morning, I had a smoothie for brunch and forgot about the night before.

I am cherishing my small wins. The compliments I have been getting from people about looking smaller and my face shrinking. Someone even told me my head was getting smaller. I NEVER knew that was possible.

I urge you to celebrate your small wins AND the big ones too.
What are you currently working on that you can point to as some small wins? Please share them in the comments.

I hope you have a fantastic rest of the week and as always, please share and comment.

Thank you!

Written 4/5/2022 after eating the last batch of beans and chicken for dinner before a call with the Nifty Nine.

#WhatTheHeckMan

A Detty December (18+)

A diary entry of a converted Yoruba angel.
4-PART SERIES

“Yes Daddy”

“Fuck”

“ Smack my ass.”

*thack whack*

“Harder” 

She said.

I slapped her right and then left cheek. Softer than fresh Agege bread, they rippled as I continued to slide in and out of her dripping wet.

My balls slapping into her clit with each movement. 

I leaned forward and put her in a headlock with my right hand, lifting her upper body to my bare chest. 

Before I spoke she said,

“Yes, Daddyyyy. Choke meeee!”

I swear everything in me welled up. My balls tensed, my ass clenched and I was ready to let go.

Muffled from my arm choking her, she muttered more words I couldn’t make out.

I turned her face to the left and planted the sloppiest kiss on her lips. She licked my tongue and my bottom lip as she stole her juices back off my lips. 

I let her down and pinned her head in the bed, slapping her cheeks again as I thrust harder. 

Still muffed, she let out

“Fill me up daddy”

And that was it for me.

One, two and I pulled out spraying my seed on her left cheek and she twerked in approval.

She slumped into the bed as I stood up and staggered to the bathroom. 

I grabbed a shirt and walked back to clean her up.

It had dribbled down her cheek like icing on a fresh donut. Each line tracing her stretch marks on her beautiful black skin. 

As I walked out of the room she said,

“So you’re just gonna fuck me like that and just leave?”

I chuckled and she added

“I wish you could stay longer”

Striding out, I said

“You’ve had me for 3 days now. You want my mother to kill me?”

She twisted, turned and grumbled like a teenager not getting to spend the day at the mall with their friends. I head back to the bathroom.

Leaning over the sink and staring into the mirror, I was trying to catch my breath. 

It was when I stopped that I realized that my heart was still pounding really fast. I started taking breaths from the base of my belly. 

A few breaths in and my Apple Watch buzzed, I looked down to my right hand as I lifted it up towards me.

It was an Uber notification. My ride was arriving in 8minutes.

I quickly hopped in the shower and washed down. 

Drying myself as I walked into the room, she asked me

“When do you come back from Ghana?”

“The 7th”

I replied.

I leaned in and kissed her. 

She smiled and said

“Your bags are downstairs by the door and some food”

“Thanks hun”

I said.

We both walked downstairs and hugged before I got into the Uber. I patted down my coat to make sure I had my passport and my wallet. Both intact, I pulled out AirPods and stuck them in. 

One more deep breath as the 44minute ride to the airport began. 

…loading…loading….

————

My flight from London City was delayed 3 times. I began to panic about my connecting flight from Rome to Cape Verde. 

It was one of the first flights that airline was running. 

After painfully waiting, we eventually boarded and headed to Rome. 

Once we landed, I rushed and grabbed my bags. 

Running to the airline checkpoint, I was praying I didn’t miss my flight because we were so late. 

As I approached the gate, I noticed there wasn’t anyone there. 

I immediately began to panic but I tried to keep it together. As I got the gate, it was completely empty and all the screens were blank. 

I had missed my flight. But how?

It was still an hour and 20minutes before the departure time. How could they close the gate so early?

Annoyed, I headed up to the airline customer service area. 

Walking up to the counter, the lady already looked irritated that I was coming with my problems.

I came up and said

“I was supposed to be on a flight to Cape Verde and Lagos but the gate was closed”

She rolled her eyes and said 

“The flight has left”

And I replied

“How can it have left? The flight leaves in an hour and 15minutes plus the board shows the flight is delayed.”

We spent the next 5minutes going back and forth about getting on another flight. She told me that I would not be able to fly out of Rome heading to Nigeria that day.

I was fuming because I was meant to go on a family vacation starting the next day. 

Everything within me wanted to fight. 

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a lady that appeared to be in the same predicament as me. 

I walked up to her and said

“Hi, were you meant to be on that the Cape Verde Airlines flight too?”

Confused and somewhat relieved she said

“Yes, I was”

We would quickly share stories of how annoying the whole situation was. 

I got up and went back to the counter and said

“So you are really not going to help out my wife, you plan to have us stranded here?”

Again, the lady did not budge. 

I walked back to the woman and sat next to her

“What’s your name?”

She looked up from her phone and said

“Dania”

I smiled back and said

“Hi Dania, my name is Tare. Pleasure to meet you, given the circumstance”

We both chuckled and I began calling the company that I bought my ticket from. 45minutes later, we were in a van taking us to a hotel where we would spend the night.

We would not get to Lagos for another two days and before that, we would fly to Instabul, Port Harcourt and then Lagos. All because of a missed flight.

Dania was on the phone to her mom, giving her an update on the what had happened as we made out way to the hotel.

I was exhausted and I truly just wanted to sleep. 

It was late and most restaurants were closed. I kept thinking of what I would eat and needing sleep but somehow, being with her made the situation easier.

We got to the hotel and quickly exchanged numbers. Sitting at the lobby while the rooms were readied, we talked about where we coming from and how excited we were to get to Lagos.

She shared about her family and I talked about mine as well. 

It was very clear that she was extremely talented and very beautiful. Our energies were in sync and I began to forget the pain of missing the flight. 

Our rooms were on separate sides of the hotel. I remember the man at the front desk asking if we were a couple and would like one room together. We laughed and told him we were not.

We finally headed to our rooms. I was in mine watching some Italian show after showering and waiting for my food.

It was McDonald’s and I was really annoyed that it was option while in Rome.

The food arrived, it was half decent, I ate and prepared for the morning. Bags ready and clothes outlined for the early and long haul to Nigeria.

I was starting to drift off in bed when I heard a knock.

Sluggishly, I got up and opened the door. There she was, smiling and looking refreshed.

She said

“I couldn’t sleep and I brought some wine.”

I smiled and stepped to the side as she walked in.

I said

“You smell really good”

She turned around and said

“Taste even better…”

I almost choked. It was about to be a memorable trip and we had no idea what was coming.

End of Part 1. Come back next Saturday for Part 2!


Please like this story, leave a comment below, and share social media!

Follow @adewus4real

Thank you for reading and commenting. You are highly appreciated.

#SanmiSaturdays

© 2021 #WhatTheHeckMan

#WhatTheHeckMan · African Stories · Fiction · Nigerian Writers · Stories · TheRantsShow

Bastards 4

PART 4

Everything was in slow motion.
It was as if we moved through the scenes in the movie Inception.
My mouth went dry.
My heart was racing.
My eyes began to water as my palms got sweaty.
I was angry, very angry.
Lost in my head trying to make sense of this but I couldn’t believe what I was staring at.
My father’s coffin in his home?
How?
I was still trying to process when I heard a sharp wail from my left hand side.

My mother dropped to her knees as she was crying uncontrollably.
“Ta ni mo se”
“Who did I offend?”

She continued to repeat as the twins tried to console her.
Inconsolable as you can imagine.
My older sister snapped into action and she said

“Dejo, how did this get here?”

Genuinely confused and fearfully of being blamed, Dejo began to shake as he responded.

“Madam, I swear to you, I no know”

“You don’t know?”

She followed.
Dejo tried his best to explain.

“Madam, I dey that side dey wash the cars when I hear wetin be like truck for outside.
I just think sey na delivery people dem dey drop something. Na when I finish come open gate, na him I see am”

As he wrapped up a small gathering of neighbors was forming.
I could see everything playing out but it was like I was and just watching everything play out and I was still.

“Oya, help us bring it inside the gate and close the gate before the whole estate knows what is happening”

My sister instructed.
Dejo, the drivers of the lawyer and my brother were joined by a few other men from the neighborhood.
The coffin was lifted into the compound and the gate closed.
My sister said

“Do we know if the body in there?”

No one answered. No one was certain.
Then she said

“Open it up”

She said.
My mother who was still on the floor crying suddenly sprung up and said

“Don’t you dare!”

Huffing and puffing, she looked enraged and possessed.
She said

“That our family name has been dragged through the mud is not enough? You want to dishonor the memory of your father?
NO WAY! That coffin stays closed and you all go about figuring out who in the hell would do such a despicable thing”

She turned around and began walking inside when I snapped out of the trance and I headed for Ivie and Kunle.
They were standing apart as you can probably imagine that the things he heard inside had rocked his world a bit.

“You did this”

I said to Ivie with conviction.
I could tell she was scared.

“You fucking did this with your diabolical ass. You did this shit like you planned all this other shit”

She froze.
I yelled

“ANSWER ME”

Kunle stepped in and put his hand across my chest
I turned and looked directly at him

“Kunle if you do not remove your hand from my body, I swear to God who made this earth, I will fucking pound in your face till you bleed to death.
Get the fuck out of my way”

He stepped back but not too far, he seemed a bit concerned about what I could do to Ivie.

“Ivie, tell us how you are months away from a wedding with me but carrying my brother’s child.
Tell us how you planned with Adesuwa to get me killed and then killed her yourself?
Or just tell us why you dug up our father’s coffin and brought it into our home?
Start anywhere”

Kehinde sprung and said

“Ivie is that true?
Please tell us it’s not true”

Ivie in tears, said

“I had nothing to do with this”

Pointing to the coffin laying in front of us all.

“And the other things?”

I asked.
She said

“I can explain honestly”

Sobbing she began to explain.

“I am sorry for lying to you Tomiwa, I really am. You did not deserve this.
I was misled but my father…”

My mother jumped in

“Chief Akpo???”

Ivie nodded.

“I was instructed to get information on Tomiwa and the family by my father. I would often listen to business conversations with Tomiwa and funnel the information to my father.
He told me to marry Tomiwa and that Chief Fehintola and he had come to an agreement to merge our families.
But I was also told to not have sex with Tomiwa. Under any circumstances.
The plan was to marry Tomiwa and ultimately get as much money from the family.
Kunle and I met before I was introduced to Tomiwa. The day we met at your family Christmas party a few years back, I actually came with Kunle.
We even had sex upstairs in the twins room while everyone was downstairs because it was the only free room.
Kunle and I had been seeing each other. He knew nothing about the rest of the plan.
And initially, all I wanted was Kunle.
But once I knew I could choose to not sleep with Tomiwa and continue having Kunle, I was fine with that. I made peace with it.
I would have the man I wanted.”

Teary eyed and flushed with tears, she rubbed her belly and said

“Kunle, your son or daughter is inside of me and I love you. And I will love this child with all of my heart.
I completely understand if after all I have done, you no longer want to be involved in our lives but I love you and I will love this child”

Kunle looked down and away. Clearly the words got to him but he was conflicted and then he said

“Did you try to get my brother killed?”

Ivie sobbed harder and looked away.

“Yes. Yes, I did
My dad told me I had to. Something had come out that would affect our plans and frankly, it seemed like a better deal to go that route and we could have just married without issues”

I was shocked.

“You wanted me out of the way. So you decided the best way was to kill me?
When you could have just asked me to leave? When you knew it was Adesuwa that I wanted to marry and she was the woman I loved???
You are evil”

I was fuming.
Kunle asked

“How can I be sure the baby is mine, with all these lies?”

Those words broke her. I could tell.
She sobbed harder and said

“Kunle, I have never been with any man but you from day one.
Only you”

He shook his head and turned away and I spoke.

“You had everything. A family that loves you, the big wedding you wanted, the houses, cars, trips around the world. All of it.
Yet you wanted me dead, as if my family had not been through enough…”

There was a honk at the gate.
All our eyes immediately shifted, who was it?


The gate swung open and a black tinted Mercedes AMG drove in.
The driver rushed out and ran around the car to open to the owner’s corner.
Out came a man that I was familiar with.
A friend of the family and someone I had watched my father spend time with as we grew up.
He was someone you could consider a true pillar of our family.
Chief Akpo. Ivie’s father.

As he stepped out of the car, I had every intention of jumping him.
But I had to contain my rage.
He smiled big as he fixed his Agbada and he said

“I know you have many questions. Let us all go inside and we can clear things up”

We all sat down in the living room. Chief glee as ever while the glum faces of all of us waited to find out what was going on.
Chief spoke first.

“I had hoped we would not get to this point but in life, some things just need to be done.
That is the truth”

He smiled as he continued speaking

“Before all of you came about, way back in the day, Chief approached me with a proposition.
He wanted me to father all of you.
I agreed out of love for the man and I wanted to make sure that he had the joy of being a father too.
But then, midway through the testing process, the Chief told me that he went with someone else.
He never said who for years.
And I could not prove who it was. I knew that if the DNA was run, it would show Chief was not the father but as far as showing who actually was, I was sure that we wouldn’t really get that luxury.
Chief asked me to join the board as one of his closest friends and when we knew international investors were coming.
I agreed but this time, because I did not trust his word, I demanded security.
I got him to commit in writing that my daughter if I had one, would marry his son.
And as you can see, God gave us what we wanted.
The deal was done.
Then you…”

He pointed at me and frowned a bit

“…You started making noise about not wanting my beautiful daughter.
Something about wanting to marry who you loved. Well who you loved gave you up pretty easily to protect her parents.
I bought out Adesuwa’s parents and simply threatened to run them into the ground. It was difficult but eventually we were able to convince her to take you out of the picture.”

I was stunned. The whole room was dead silent.

“This was simple.
If the Chief held his end of the bargain, I got a couple of legitimate grandchildren in one of the wealthiest families and life would go on smoothly.
When you started your drama, I approached Chief and reminded him that I knew his secret and it could be damaging if word got out.
At first he appeared to listen and then he did not.
I had to take matters into my own hands. I had my team working tirelessly to get the information I needed to make a move on him at the board level and take over the company.
But before I could put my plan in action, he passed away.
Around that same time, he told me that he was going to tell you all the truth after his trip.
I guess he never made it to that.
I knew that Chief was the type to not be blackmailed, so I sensed that he may have included the true identity of your fathers in the will.
Well, everyone except you.”

He pointed at me again.
Everyone sat up.
My mother who had now stopped crying looked on inquisitively as he spoke.

“What do you mean?”

She asked.

He leaned forward in his chair and said

“Everyone knows that Kunle is not yours. No surprise.
But Tomiwa is the one legitimate child of you and Chief.”

The entire room gasped.
The lawyer looked away.

Chief smiled and said

“Lawyer Williams knew.
Chief knew.
On our trip he told us about how his health was deteriorating and he might need a marrow transplant or something of the sort.
Tomiwa, remember the set of tests you went to do with your father?
I was able to acquire those from the hospital. It was in those results I found out that you were his only legitimate child. The results of the others showed what we already knew.
Again, I planned to release the information for the takeover but your father elected to die before the news could get out.

He stood up. Flashed a fake smile at most of the room as he smoothed out his clothes.
He said

“Look, I have no ill towards Chief nor will I speak ill of the dead but he chose to try and outsmart me instead of keeping his end of the agreement we had many years ago.
For that, he will not rest.
Digging up his coffin is only the start…”

Enraged I snapped up and yelled

“Say another word about my father and I will finish you here”

Lawyer Williams quickly jumped up and put his hand across my chest to stop me.
Chief Akpo chuckled mischievously and said

“Now wouldn’t that be so beautiful? To see our new CEO beating up a board member.
I dare you to do it, do it, so I can bury this family once and for all.
It’s admirable to see you have the fight chief had in him though, maybe that’s why his swimmers were able to conquer out of the many failures. He chuckled”

He smiled mischievously and waved his finger in the direction of his daughter and said

“Ivie, let’s go”

She sheepishly got up, sobbing profusely and followed him out of the room.
As the door shut.
My mother looked at Lawyer Williams and said

“You knew?”

He leaned back in the seat, almost tired and replied

“Yes but the Chief wanted to confirm. And you know I was bound by confidentiality laws”

She looked back at my siblings and said

“We are not letting any of those Bastards take what your father built.”

And she stormed out of the room.


My father was re-buried and about 6months had passed by.
The vote for reorganizing the board and the company was coming up fast.
Most of the family had settled into their routines.
Life in our new normal was going along.
My siblings returned to their various homes and lives while I prepared to officially take over for my dad. My days were strictly guarded by the security team. My mother and I were basically in an enforced lockdown.
Kunle had been mostly ostracized by the family but his impact was still being felt.
We simply were not the same family.

Two nights before the vote, I called Kunle and told him to meet with me the following night.
He asked me where and I called him to give him the address.
It was a property a friend of ours was developing.
I told him I wanted a fresh set of eyes on the property as I was considering buying it.

I was standing in the middle of the uncompleted building as night covered Ibeju-Lekki.
The building was huge and was clearly going to make a very nice home once completed.
I heard a car pull into the lot and footsteps get closer.

Kunle called out

“T, you in here?”

I replied

“Yeah, just come through the front opening here”

He walked up to me and I greeted him.

“How are you holding up bro?”

I asked him.

“I guess you can say I’ve had better days”

I shook my head and said

“I totally understand bro. Hopefully things settle soon.
So I wanted you to see this place because I was thinking of buying it and using it for corporate housing for visiting executives.
We fully operate the space with cleaning crews, a maid, a driver and the full home experience.
It saves us the millions we spend on hotels putting them up in expensive hotels when they come to town. What do you think?”

He nodded as we walked up the stairs to the second level

“Yeah this is really nice.
And we can truly curate the type of experience they have when they are here. I love the idea.
Maybe we get that interior design firm to design it for…”

He paused.
We both looked at each other.
There was a sound. It came from the first floor.
I looked at him and asked

“Did you come here with someone?”

He nodded and said

“Yeah, Ivie is in the car.
We are coming back from dinner”

He called out

“Ivy?”

She replied

“Yes”

We both headed back downstairs.
As we hit the landing area, I greeted her

“Hi Ivie, long time. How are you?”

“Fine, thank you”

She replied

“And the baby?”

“She’s doing well too”

“That’s really good”

I responded.

Bang.
Bang.
Bang.

White noise.
I could hear a loud ringing in my ears.
The shock hit me like I was drowning.
I felt my back hit the floor hard.
Staring up at the uncompleted ceiling and gasping for air, the pain coursed through my body.
I was sure I was going to die.
The pain was in my lower abdomen. I placed my hand on the source of the pain and I could feel my hand wet.
I was bleeding.
Gasping for air, I was praying that I didn’t die and I was trying to pray but the words weren’t coming.
Then a familiar voice came through.
I felt someone squat next to me and say

“Breathe baby. You are going to live”

I turned my head to my right side and through the darkness, I made out her face.
She smiled at me and said

“The police will be here soon and an ambulance.
You will be fine”

I closed my eyes and the next time I would open them, I was in the hospital.
It was also there I found out that Tunde and Ivie were dead.


It was a bright and sweltering day.
The skies were clear.
It felt like one of those good days for a perfect hike or lemonade on your backyard porch.
The day was mostly perfect. With a gentle breeze occasionally reminding you to enjoy life.
You could imagine yourself in any tropical location and it would make sense.
It was the type of day for your skin and self care routine without doing much.
The summer was announcing itself in style.
The bell rang and the space flooded.

Stepping out, I opened the door with my right hand.
They hopped in.
Sitting back down in the driver’s seat and starting the car, my friend asked

“Oya finish now. Who shot them?”

I smiled and said

“Let’s just say, mother’s know everything”

“I knew it! I knew it!”

He exclaimed.

“How did she know where you were???”

I smiled and replied

“She followed me”

“Wow”

He exclaimed again

“Do you know if she pulled the trigger herself?”

I shook my head and said

“Fam, I don’t know and in many ways, I am grateful I don’t know anything about that night. I am just grateful for my family and continuing to grow the family business from here”

I pulled out of the school parking lot as another car sped past me almost hitting my car.
I yelled out

“Bastards!”

My twin boys in the backseat both yelled out

“Daddy language!”

I looked at my friend and then at the kids in the back and said

“Sorry kids. Bad habits”

We all chuckled as I turned onto the highway and drove right into Los Angeles traffic.
The cars were backed up for miles. Traffic was notorious and ever present, not like the “forgotten” events in another overcrowded metropolis thousands of miles away.
My friend visiting from Belgium said

“What The Heck Man, is this always how bad traffic is in LA?”

I nodded and said

“Everyday.”

He looked over to me and said

“But I bet you are glad you are far away from all that drama huh?”

Feeling the twinge from the nerve damage in my abdomen from the gunshot would I suffered that night, I looked out the window and then into the rearview mirror at my kids on their iPads and I replied

“Every. Single. Day bro
Every. Single. Day”

The End.

End of the Bastards series.
Please like this story, leave a comment below, and share social media!

Follow @adewus4real

Thank you for reading and commenting. You are highly appreciated.

#SanmiSaturdays

© 2020 #WhatTheHeckMan

#WhatTheHeckMan · African Stories · Fiction · Stories

Bastards 2

Blood is thicker than water but only one bleeds when the heart is cut.

In.
Out.
In.
Out.
In.
Wow.
I couldn’t see the light. Was I even supposed to see the light being that I died in sin?
Has anyone figured out how that whole thing works?
I obviously had not.
The room was dark and everything was moving slow.
I was trying to figure out what was going to happen next. Slowly opening my eyes trying to see what just happened…
As I opened my eyes I looked around my body to make sure that I had not been shot.
I couldn’t find any bullet wounds, so I looked over to where Adesuwa was standing.
Slammed to the floor with a gun in her hand.
I looked over to the door of the room and that is where I saw her standing with a gun in her hand. I was shocked. After all, she wasn’t supposed to be here till tomorrow. “How did you get here so fast?”, I thought.

“Ivie, what the fuck?
What are you doing here?”

I said as I got off the bed.
I slowly got up and walked over to her. As I approached, she lowered the weapon.
None of it made sense.
Shaking to my bones, I slowly approached Ivie.

“Ivie, let me explain.”

I opened with. I was trying to calm her down and not let her shoot me because I was cheating on her.
As I approached her, I knelt down and pleaded.

“Ivie, I am sorry.”

She didn’t even look at me. Her eyes were fixed on Adesuwa’s lifeless body on the ground.
A whole minute that felt like an eternity must have passed, but she eventually handed the gun to me.
I took it in my hand and stood up.
As I backed away from her, she said,

“We need to get rid of the body.”

My eyes grew big and I couldn’t understand why.
I asked.

“Why?”

It was as if then she finally snapped out of a trance and she said,

“Your mistress is dead on your bedroom floor and you’re asking me why?”

“But I didn’t shoot her.”

I replied.
Cold and firm, she walked over to me and said,

“Your prints are all over that gun in your hand, your semen is probably inside of her and your soon to be wife was about to walk in on you two, what do you think they would believe Tomiwa?”

I stared at the gun in my hand and then at Adesuwa’s body.
Fuck!
She was right.

She helped me put the body in the carpet from the living room on the second floor; we hauled the body down and outside the house.
As I lifted the body into my trunk, she asked me,

“Are you going to dump it in the water?”

I shook my head and said,

“No, the body could float. I have to find an incinerator or dump it on the way to Lagos.”

She didn’t argue.
I ran back into the house and got all of her things. I vividly remember putting her cellphone in my pocket.
As I got into the car, I asked Ivie,

“Are you coming with me?”

She sharply said

“No.”

Then she continued and said,

“I have to drive my car to Lagos. Obviously cannot leave it here.
I’ll meet you at the house in Lagos”

————

The drive to Lagos felt like the longest in my life.
I kept trying to drive fast but I was worried that if I drove too fast it would raise suspicion.

Mowe-Ibafo, Berger, and I was making my way to Oshodi.
Sweating profusely, my throat was dry. I was just trying to get to the incinerator at my friend’s waste management company.
It was already midday as I pulled into the parking lot, I hadn’t called him ahead of time.
How would I have explained needing a professional torching chamber?

As I parked, one of the employees came up to me just as I was stepping out of the car.
She curtsied as she came closer.

“Good afternoon sir.”

She said.

“Good afternoon, is your oga around?”

I asked her in response.

“No sir.”

She replied with some disappointment.

“Will he be in today?”

I asked. She shook her her head and said,

“I don’t think so sir. Today and tomorrow, we are doing maintenance around the whole facility. So I don’t think anybody from the office side will be here. Till Thursday sir.

Do you need me to call him sir?”

I raised my hand to discourage her against that.

“No need my dear.”

I got back into the car and started it as I tried to drive off. I was turned around, trying to back out of the parking spot when I heard a light tap on the window.
I turned back to my left and she was standing there. As I wound down, she said,

“Oga, it’s like blood is dripping on the floor from your boot (trunk).”

I smiled and said,

“Oh, don’t worry about it, mo se se tan lodo awon eleran ni.”
“Don’t worry about it, I just left the meat sellers/meat packing.”

“Oh okay, sir.
Ke ni nice day”
“Have a nice day.”

As I drove out of the facility, I started to panic.
The body in the trunk was dripping and it was the high of the afternoon.
That meant I had to keep the body in there till night came before disposing of it.
Fuck.

As I pulled up to my house, I was trying to get in and park the car without anyone noticing me.
Audu, my gateman, opened up the gate and I immediately sent him on an errand that required him to leave the house.
Nkechi, the maid, was more than likely inside, preparing dinner. I quickly parked the car and I was walking to the gate when I heard sirens and the police swarmed my compound.
Immediately, I was reprimanded, handcuffed and thrown in the back of a police car.

The head arresting officer marched into the compound, walked to my car, stopped and then walked back to the car I was in .
He opened the door and said,

“Where are the car keys?”

“In my pocket.”

I replied.
He reached into my pocket and pulled it out.

“Take him to the station.”

He said as he closed the door.
And within seconds, the car was leaving.
All I could think of was WhatTheHeckMan.


Sanmi here popping in to say hi! If you’re new to WhatTheHeckMan, welcome!
I am not sorry for the cliffhangers and the suspense but I am thrilled to have you here. I hope you enjoy my stories – most of which I create in my head. My #WordsOfWednesday pieces are unfiltered and the purest me.
Thank you for reading all of it.
Please, if you are reading this, let me know how you feel about the story. Don’t assume that I don’t see it or that other people are doing it, so you don’t need to. Your support is EVERYTHING.


Here are my last three posts. Enjoy!
How are you doing, Sanmi?
Bastards
Too Faithful to Fail Me

Missed the last series? Start here! Scar Tissue
Now back to Bastards 2! Brace yourself. 😎


Sitting in that dark and cold cell, I kept thinking about how I got there.
How did they know the body was in the car?
I had only left Ibadan a few hours before. Did the girl from my friend’s business call him and he called the police?
How did the police know where to go immediately?
No fuss, no “detective” work, they just knew.

For the longest time, it never even crossed my mind that the person that helped me put the body in the trunk, may have snitched on me.
It felt like an eternity sitting there trying to piece together what had happened.
It had been an incredible 36 hours.
No one ever thinks that you would find out that your beloved father was not your father, your childhood love would die in front of you and you would be arrested for murder, all before another moon.

There was a man wailing in the cell next to me.
I could tell that he had been beaten and he was crying out for his family – essentially saying that he didn’t do whatever he was arrested for and he couldn’t breathe in that tight cell.
I was thinking about what I would say.
What would happen officially?
Would people at the company start looking at my siblings and I differently?
A wedding was in the works, but I was about to be outed as a cheat. And what would Ivie think of me?
What was she thinking of me?
Did she make it to Lagos safely? Did she know that I was taken?
Did she know I was taken by the police and not robbed or kidnapped?

I wasn’t sure what time it was but I was starting to get sleepy.
It was a weird feeling because my heart was racing like crazy but my body was tired.
I started crying.
As quietly as possible, all of the tears and sobs I tried to contain in the dark cell started to seep out.
My asthma was starting to act up and I was begging my body to behave but my heart was shattering.
It felt like my chest was closing in on my heart.
I stopped crying and began trying to control my breaths.
Slowly, in and out.
In.
Out.
In.
Out.
I closed my eyes and tried to wiggle my toes –
a grounding technique I learned back in college. As I was starting to calm down, an officer came to the cell door and shook the bars while saying,

“Tomiwa Fehintola”

I opened my eyes and sprung up.

“Yes, that’s me.”

“Your people dey here to see you.”

He said.

“My people?”

I asked to clarify.

“You no hear wetin I just talk?”

He replied rudely as he opened up the cell door.
I quickly rose and headed out of the cell. The hallway was dark and tight but I just followed him towards the end of the hallway.

As I came into the waiting area, I noticed my mother, our family lawyer and the DPO (Divisional Police Officer)
They appeared to have been in conversation before I appeared.
As soon as my mother saw me, you could see the relief on her face.

“Oko mi, are you alright?”

She asked concernedly while throwing her arms around me.
I nodded while fighting back those tears I was just shedding.
I knew I would leave there deep down, but with Nigerian police, what can you really trust or guarantee?

My mother and I walked out of the police station and towards the car as she rubbed my back.
We got into the car and waited as the lawyer spoke to the police.
I sat behind the driver and my mother sat next to me.
She asked again,

“Are you okay?”

I nodded again and said,

“Yes ma.”

A few seconds after, the lawyer got into the passenger seat.
The driver started the car and we drove out of the station.
As we got onto the main road, the lawyer turned around and said,

“Tomiwa, I have to ask you a few questions.
I know the last few hours have been hard but I need to know so we can start working.”

I nodded.

“Did you shoot that young woman?”

He asked.
I shook my head and said,

“No.”

He continued,

“Did you have any intentions of killing her or having her killed?”

I shook my head again and said,

“Absolutely not. I loved her.”

My mother looked at me when those words left my mouth.
She knew I did.
Everyone knew I did.
But it was not what my father wanted, so it never happened. It appeared that having his own children was the only thing my father didn’t have his own way.

The lawyer asked next,

“Do you have the gun or know where it is?”

I replied,

“Yes, I do. It’s in the locked glove compartment of my car.”

“Good. Good.”

He replied.

My mother said,

“We are going to stop by my house first before we take you to yours.”

I wasn’t sure why but I replied.

“Okay.”

A few seconds of silence and then I thought to ask,

“How did you even know where I was?”

“Tobe came back and noticed the gate was open and your car abandoned. He watched the CCTV recording and contacted me. I called around and located where you were being held.
Mr. Williams and I drove down from Ibadan to get you.”

She explained.
That damn CCTV finally came to use. And then it clicked.
I had the same system installed in my Ibadan home. Hell, my father had us install security systems everywhere.
That meant I could prove that Ivie came in when she did and murdered Adesuwa.

In a weird sequence of events, I felt quick relief and then sadness at realizing that Adesuwa was still gone.
I asked my mother,

“Where is her body?”

“Don’t worry about that son. Her family has been notified and we have explained that more details will follow as the investigation develops. Like I said, it’s being handled.”

She replied with calm and confidence. I had only ever seen my mother like this once in my life – when my father had knee surgery and she had to run the business for a few months.
She didn’t always flex this side of her but I always knew there was a cold blooded schemer in her. I knew there was more command, especially with the news about my father not being my father.
But I was willing to wait to learn those truths.

“Tomiwa, I am sorry about Adesuwa. I am well aware that you loved her and wished you could marry her but as you will continue to find out, in life, we do not always get what we want or deserve.
You will have your time to mourn her loss, but for now, I need you to be strong because we are about to be at war.”

She trailed on and I interrupted,

“War?”

She looked at me and echoed,

“War.
Yes, a full blown war against some bastards trying to ruin us. So brace yourself.
You and your sisters need to be at full attention and stay vigilant.”

She paused and said,

“Does Ivie know about Adesuwa?”

I nodded.
She sighed and said,

“Hmmm. How is she handling that with the baby?”

She tilted her head to the left as she looked at me.

“Baby?
What baby?”

My mom pulled down her glasses.

“You weren’t planning on telling me that Ivie was pregnant?”

She asked almost in betrayal.

“Pregnant?!”

I was shocked.

“Ivie and I have never had sex. Never.”

I explained to her.

“You and Ivie have never been intimate?
In all these yearsssss???”

She exclaimed.

“Yes mother. She always told me that she was waiting for marriage.
And I agreed because frankly I didn’t love her anyways so having sex with her was not something that I particularly wanted.”

My mom stared straight ahead with her right hand on her chin and muttered,

“You didn’t know?”

I then asked.

“How did you know?”

She said.

“Ivie came by the house early this morning in Ibadan and told me herself. I was wondering where you were but she said you rushed to Lagos.
It made no sense to me but I just assumed she was eager to share with me as she missed the funeral and all.
You know…to give me good news in these dark times.”

I laughed and said.

“Ivie came to you this morning?”

She nodded.

“In Ibadan?”

I continued.
She replied,

“Yes.”

I laughed and shook my head before planting them in my hands.
My head was spinning.
I was out of my depth and completely confused.
This woman was cheating on me as I was cheating on her but why would she try to pass off the child as mine?

My mother asked,

“So if the child is not yours and you didn’t know, then who is the father?”

Mr Williams in the front of the car responded without looking back,

“It’s his brother’s.”

I raised my head out of my hands as my mother and I screamed,

“What?!”

End of Part 2. I know you want part 3 ASAP but to get it, you have to comment! Go ahead and drop it below!
Share with your friends and family to get us to 20!

Follow @adewus4real

Thank you for reading and commenting. You are highly appreciated.

#SanmiSaturdays

© 2020 #WhatTheHeckMan

#WhatTheHeckMan · #WordsofWednesday

Too Faithful to Fail Me

When your Offering Changes…

At a church in Lagos, Nigeria during offering time: https://www ...
Picture taken at the offering station in one of Nigeria’s leading churches.

About a month ago, I stumbled on this song.
I won’t even lie to you, my first reaction was slight jealousy of how beautiful his voice was.

Too Faithful by Moses Bliss

The lyrics of the song speak so distinctly to my life.
As I write this on the ferry home from work, I had to give in to the tears.

A couple of Sundays ago, I was at church. It was offering time and as we walked up to give our offering, I noticed that I was giving a denomination much higher than I was used to.
Not only that, it was now a norm for me.
I asked myself, when did your offering change?

I grew up listening to pastors that preached giving. They would tell you that you had to give where it hurts and you could feel it. This space felt weird to me.
Not because I was giving a crazy amount but because I had enough.
More than enough.

For many, the barometer of how great God is usually gauged by financial success or wealth.
And while it is not the only measurement I use, it sure is a telling one in today’s society.
Being able to “financially” do more in God’s household is such a blessing.

I am grateful for my offering changing. I remembered the days where I would pray that God accepted my $1 and now I can give 10 times that without feeling like I wouldn’t see the next week. He listens. But you cannot stop giving once he gives you. That is what makes the blessings flow, even more, continuing to make God proud so he continues to give you more.

Referencing times that I didn’t have enough or realizing that my offering has changed, is a reminder that God is too faithful to fail me.
At various points, I put my trust in him and when I didn’t have enough at MY time, I questioned him.
I remember one year that a Pastor asked us to sow a seed at the beginning of the year. I dropped $250 for me and another $250 on behalf of my siblings.
Later that year, I was out of a job.
Shocked and sad, I wasn’t sure how to begin or where to begin.
I kept saying “you asked me to trust you” and this happened?
And then I realize something, as I tag off the ferry, there is so much I have been able to do out of this “not having enough” that reminds me that God is too faithful to fail me.

_______________________
UPDATE:
It’s amazing that I wrote the piece above the line between February and March. At the end of March, I lost my job due to the effects of COVID19.
Part of my offering changing and God’s faithfulness is how I have been able to stay afloat through all of this.
It has been truly amazing how God has shown himself and a firm reminder that he has bigger plans for us.
I wrote that without knowing a pandemic would take away my source of income and overall happiness.
But God has been working hard on me as a man to not place my worth and belief in material things. God is too faithful to fail me.
Also if you have not read my just-concluded series “Scar Tissue”. You can read part 4 here.
________________________

What does your growth look like to you?
What are those blessings that still shock you? How is your offering different now from what it used to be?
Leave your answers in the comment section below.

Thanks for reading as always! 💕
Till next time, stay up!

Please Leave a Comment Below!

Please comment, retweet and share. Thank you for your continued support.
You are highly appreciated.

WordsOfWednesday

© 2020 #WhatTheHeckMan

#WhatTheHeckMan · African Stories · Stories

Scar Tissue 4

THE CLEAR PICTURE
#TeamLeila & #TeamDenzel – who will be standing at the end?


I watched your video today
The one we made on our fifth date
When you looked into the camera and tried to pronounce my middle name
The way your smile warmed my heart
More than the French toast from brunch
We were by the waterside
All I could see were white sands and you, in a similarly beautiful dress
Getting ahead of myself?
I know
Always my mistake
But as I stored the video away that day
I didn’t have to worry about storage space

The annoying reminders
“Upload to your iCloud account”
A telling reminder that I had no more space
Useful space
So I started to delete things
Memories, moments, mornings
Trying to find space
Like those reminders, you became a nag
I initially tried to make it stop
But eventually, I gave in and deleted things
Slowly
But the reminders kept coming
“Purchase extra storage space”
And so I did
I bit the apple as I paid and you were gone

I stumbled on that video
The one that started it all
Your smile, still so beautiful
But this time I watched it with no sound
No promises remembered
I missed you for a second
I reached out and dialed
Then it went straight to voicemail
You blocked me

When the heart feels empty, home has no warmth.

Written on October 19th, 2017 when I realized they had moved out.

I couldn’t stop looking out the window.
Taking it all in, I couldn’t understand why this was happening. Denny’s was busy per usual.
And my brain was trying to organize all the open tabs.
Why would he send me flowers? Did he even send the flowers?
Phone in hand, I crossed my arms and stared at them. I had moved the flowers to my table next to the window. The flowers deserved light.
They were a beautiful and colorful rose bouquet.

I wanted to call again but my pride wouldn’t let me.
I eventually took a picture of the bouquet and posted it on my instagram with the caption,
“Thank you secret admirer for the flowers, I appreciate them.”

The back half of my workout was pretty weak and I think it’s because I was distracted.
But thankfully I pushed through – I was taking necessary steps towards getting back to full fitness.
I tell you this though, them hip thrusts? Not easy!

Later that afternoon, I would braid my hair into three big all-back cornrows and do a chemical peel and Manuka Honey mask.
Ezi came over later with some wine, apple pie and ice cream.
We started catching up and I told her about the fight with Denzel. She said,

“Babes, you fucked up.
Like how would he tell you that and within 48hours you were using it against him?
All he asked for was space!”

I chimed in,

“But honestly, you should have seen him. He went from like 0 to 200.”

“Yes! People are allowed to do that when you tell them you had an abortion for a married man!
You cannot police his feelings, love. And it’s not like he called you out your name or something, man just said he needed space and you flipped.”

She clapped back at me.
I froze, and without having a clean comeback, I picked up my phone and pretended to text someone.
Ezi saw right through it.

“Girl, put that phone down.”

As she smacked it out of my hand.

“What are you going to do? From what you told me, he sounds like a great guy, so are you actively trying to get him back or what?”

I couldn’t contain it. It felt like the emotions of the last few weeks poured out in one as I said,

“Ezi, I have called him, multiple times. He is ignoring me.
I know I fucked up. I panicked.
Telling him felt very risky and made me vulnerable. I guess I did not play for a very real reaction from him.
I wish I could take it back.
He is such a great guy and I wish I didn’t mess this up, but I am starting to think that it’s beyond repair.
Those flowers came today and I thought he sent them but there is no note. I called, and I was blocked.”

Ezi came closer and hugged me.

“It’s gonna be okay.”
She said.

As I pulled away from her, she said,

“How do you know that he blocked you for sure?”

I replied,

“I have called a few times and it just goes to voicemail.”

Ezi reached for her phone and said,

“Let me try calling. Let’s see if he really blocked you.”

I called out the number and she began dialing.
A few buzzes and I heard his voice over the phone,

“Hello?”

Fuck!
This man blatantly blocked me.
I was shook.

Ezi had an apologetic look on her.
She tried to make me feel better when she said,

“It’s okay love. Just give him some space. He’ll come around.”

Ezi would stay for a few more hours before leaving for the night.
As soon as she left, the sadness set back in.
I desperately wanted to sleep but I couldn’t.
My mind was racing and I kept trying to figure things out. A part of me felt pride, that I was a good person and I deserved to be fought for – and the other was incredibly critical and bashing me for messing up a great opportunity at a happy future.
Those thoughts filled my head for hours, until Denny’s became busy that night.
But there it was, the familiar loneliness and the background noise of unassuming people living their best lives, one pancake and one sausage at a time.


I was waiting for the doctor to come back with the results of my checkup.
My heart was racing for some reason. Initially, I couldn’t figure it out.
It felt like I was waiting for bad news.
Almost like when you get the “babe we need to talk” text in the morning, but y’all can’t talk till nighttime.
I was praying for good news.

I was feeling good, it was a month after the surgery.
My diet had been good, I was lightly back to working out, and even started working from home on a few cases.
The wait was taking a bit longer than I expected. I pulled out my phone and I went onInstagram.
I am not sure if it was the universe or something but the first profile to show up was Denzel’s.
I had already tapped into it too fast that I couldn’t back out anymore.
The first snap was his meal from the night before, at dinner. First, his plate and then a boomerang of his group of friends taking shots.
The next snap was the crew walking down Oxford street.
Yes, in London!

I closed the app quickly and tried to control my breathing.
A part of me felt very weak because I had been doing a good job over the past few days.
I had a moment a few days before where I had to tell myself to get it right.
I am still not sure why him being in London was annoying to me.
But I felt cheated.
I felt like I wanted him to just call me;
tell me he was annoyed, tell me we could work things out.
But I guess that is one of the things you want to know about someone before getting deep with them.
It is important to understand how they are when happy and how they navigate conflict.
The doctor interrupted my thoughts and said,

“Ms Leila, how are you?
Sorry for the wait.”

I smiled and replied,

“It’s fine, doctor. I’m okay.”

He smiled and said,

“Well, I have good news for you.
All your test results came back great. You are definitely trending in the right direction post surgery. I will say to continue doing what you are doing – taking it easy and not stressing yourself.
In a couple of weeks, you can resume light travel and the likes. But as much as you can get people to help with things, feel free to let them do that for you.
How is that young man that was by your side during surgery?”

I smiled and said,

“We broke up.”

“Oh, that’s a bummer.
Well, still take it easy and try not to over exert yourself.”

I nodded.

“How are the meds working?”

“Everything is working well. I think it’s because I haven’t been doing too much; the side effects like dizziness have been mild. So, I would say pretty good actually.”

I responded.

“That’s good to hear.”

He replied and then continued,

“Well, if anything changes or you are feeling anything, please contact me and we can alter some things.
Okay?”

I replied,

“Okay.”

“Well, great. I’ll get out of your hair. You can change back to your clothes and I’ll see you at your next check-in.
Have a great rest of the day.”

He said as he shook my hand and exited the room.
I sat there for a few seconds before I started putting my clothes on.
The results of my checkup made me happy but I was still sad inside.
That was the story of my life at that point.


I was starting to forget about Denzel.
Okay, that was a lie.
It’s better to say that I was not being regularly triggered by thoughts of him.
It had been two months since he walked out of my apartment.

I felt like I had finally moved on. After all, I had a date later that night!
It was a friend of a friend that had been on my case for almost a year. He reached out to me and asked me out again, I needed to get back in the game so I said ‘yes’.

I told him that I would meet him there.
It was a nice Thai restaurant that had opened about 6months prior. The ambience was really lovely and I was excited for the food if not the date.
I was pleasantly surprised at how things went at dinner – the food was so good and he was actually a really good conversationalist.
I didn’t realize that we were pushing almost two hours. He had an early day the next day and I had to catch up on some work.
So we decided to end the night a bit earlier than I usually would like to end a date.

As we headed out of the restaurant, he asked,

“Did you drive?”

I replied,

“Yeah, I parked in the garage a couple blocks down.”

“Okay, I’ll walk you to your car.”

He replied.

We kept talking as we walked down the street.

As we neared the end of the walkway, we walked right past a BevMo.
I just happened to glance into the store and I saw him.
Yes, Denzel.
I stopped for a quick second and then I continued walking.
Chad asked me,

“Everything okay?”

I said,

“Yes.”

and kept on walking. As we got to the end of the street, I could feel my heart racing.
I said to Chad,

“Hey, I saw someone back there that I should probably say hello to. If it’s okay, we can say goodbye here and I’ll let you know when I get in?”

He seemed a bit confused and maybe disappointed but he replied,

“Sure thing.
Have a good rest of the night.”
He leaned down, gave me a hug and disappeared into the night.

Till this day, I am not even sure where the courage came from but I stormed into the BevMo and looked through two aisles before I found Denzel.

“So you just decided to not pick my calls, reply to my texts and block me?”

He was startled.
His first words were,

“Hey, let me call you back.”

He glanced at his phone to make sure the call had ended and I said,

“Are you going to answer me Denzel?”

He replied and said,

“Leila, I simply asked for time.”

I snarled back and said,

“And two months is not enough time? Can you confidently say that what I said deserved that?”

He looked embarrassed as he said,

“Leila, do we really have to do this here?”

I didn’t care, I truly didn’t. I was very angry.

“Yes, Denzel. I don’t care about these people.
Why are you pretending like you had any intention of contacting me? If I didn’t see you today, you would not have reached out to me. So please, just answer my question.”

He paused and then he said,

“Leila, everything was just moving really fast. Not really your fault to be honest but even with what you told me, I felt like I needed time to process – which I asked for and you snapped at me.
You didn’t just snap at me, you decided to use something I told you in confidence against me. Something I don’t even think you know enough about to speak on.
So yes, it has taken me awhile to come around to the idea of engaging you in conversation.”

I understood what he was saying despite my ego being bruised.

“So what now?”

I asked,

“We’re just done? No closure, no discussion. Nothing?”

I added.
He stood straight and said,

“I had every intention of calling you, but with your reaction, I just felt I needed to protect myself first.
These past few weeks have not been easy for me either.
But I needed to take care of myself first.”

There wasn’t really much else to say.
I turned and said,

“Well, thanks for saying that.”

“How has your recovery been?”

He asked.

“Fine.”

I snarled back as I walked away.

As I got home some 15 minutes later, I got a text message from Denzel saying,

“I am sorry about how that went. I am glad to know you are doing well.
It was good seeing you and I hope you liked your flowers.”

I hissed and put the phone down.
My heart melted but I was also very annoyed by the whole exchange.
It was only a few seconds. and the tears came flowing down.
WhatTheHeckMan.


I would spend days thinking about the entire Denzel situation.
Not the fight or coming from a place of regret but more trying to understand myself and why I reacted the way I did.
It was not lost on me that my relationship with my mother and past let downs with men scarred me.
But, I needed to take ownership of my life.
It took me a few days, but I began to see the exchange with Denzel as a learning experience.

The situation put my insecurities in full focus. The level of vulnerability that Denzel saw me in, frightened me.
Because of my health situation and how things happened, we accelerated what would have normally taken months to uncover. The level of vulnerability that Denzel and I had gotten to would have come from repeated opportunities to flex the muscles of trust and safety.

I got back from a grocery run and I was putting the items away in the kitchen when my phone began to ring.
I reached for it and it was Denzel.

“Hello?”

I said with caution, not fully understanding why he was calling me.
I could tell he was smiling on the other side of the line as he said,

“I’ve been wondering…”

He paused.

“I’ve been wondering…how different things would have been if I had just let you win that race on our first and only date?
Or how you never gave me my trophy for crushing you at that race.
I’ve been wondering how many things we’ve left unasked or words unsaid. I have been thinking about how sorry I am that it’s taken this long to say I miss you.
And I want to see you. I’ve been wondering if you would want to see me too.”

I didn’t even realize that I was already smiling and then I said,

“Well, technically if I didn’t pass out. I would have won but yes, I have been thinking of things as well and how it could have been different.
And yes, I would like to see you.”

He asked,

“Would you like to see me right now?”

“Huh?”

I quickly replied.
He asked again,

“Will you like to see me right now?”

“Where are you?”

I responded.
I could almost picture his smile as he said,

“Look outside the window.”

It was one of the few times my blinds were actually covering the window but I walked over and I slowly pulled them up with my left hand.
There he was.
As the blinds went up, he waved at me and on the phone, he said,

“Pancakes or waffles?”

I ugly laughed like a baby and told him I would be down in a few.
Mouthwash, a spritz of perfume and I fixed my wig before I darted out of the house.

The way we hugged each other was different; more different than when we hugged before my surgery and even after. It felt so intentional and I felt safe.

“You look really good.”

He said.

“Thanks. So do you.”

I replied.

We sat down and started talking after we ordered our food.
I spoke first,

“Denzel, I want to start by apologizing for my reactions when I shared what I shared with you. It was immature and unnecessary. You have displayed the highest level of respect and responsibility through everything, my outburst was unfair to you and I am truly sorry.”

His head dropped down, then went back up as he said,

“I am sorry too. I wasn’t expecting what you told me and I pride myself in controlling how I react to things.
I have spent years in therapy and medicating to ensure that I remain present and engaged in conversations and in my relationships. That day caught me off guard and I think your approach to my feelings made me uncomfortable as well, so I chose to leave.
I am sorry it has taken us this long to see each other and to talk through this.”

I was so grateful for his poise and his calmness in apologizing.
I made a joke saying,

“It doesn’t look like you’ve lost any sleep since that day. Looking fine as hell.”

He chuckled and said,

“Trust me, the heart has taken a beating missing you and trying to figure out what you want going forward.”

“What do you want going forward, Denzel?”

I asked.
He looked me straight in the face and said,

“You.”

I felt chills run down my spine.
I gathered myself and asked

“Are you sure?”

He smiled and said,

“Yes, I am.”

I looked at him with some seriousness and said,

“Even after the ‘beating’ I have given you emotionally?”

He smiled again and said,

“When you fell, I felt so many things. I worried about your life and health but something in me made me stay.
Sometimes you love but you aren’t in love, and sometimes you fight the one you love, to fight for your entire idea of love.”

I started tearing and he said,

“Don’t cry.”

As he reached over to wipe my tears.
He said,

“We have both taken a beating and through all we have seen together, the only way now is up.
I would love to get to know you better and deeper.
We will be stronger for all that we have been through.
The beautiful thing about scar tissue is that it’s always stronger on the comeback.”

I had a few tears streaming down my face and I said,

“If you weren’t sitting so far away, I would come and kiss you.”

He smiled, got up and came over to my side.
Holding my face, he planted the warmest kiss on my lips. My breathing turned slow, my muscles relaxed and I almost melted in his arms.
Midway through the kiss, our waitress came and said,

“Here’s your water.”

Embarrassed, we both giggled as we moved the cups.
He placed his hand on my inner thigh as I leaned on his shoulder. Then he said,

“So tell me something about you. Something simple o.”

We both laughed so hard!
Then I replied and said,

“This is my first time ever in a Denny’s. It has always given me ghetto vibes.”

He looked surprised as he looked at me and said,

“Why didn’t you tell me, so we could go somewhere else?!”

I smiled and said,

“It’s okay. I just wanted to see you.”

He kissed me again, and this time, as we were kissing we heard people arguing behind us.
As we turned around, it was a couple in the middle of a huge argument. From what we overheard, he was not taking care of her and he might also have been sleeping with her cousin.

We both burst out laughing so hard and lost it as he said – say it with me people…

WhatTheHeckMa……. Please leave me a comment below. Here are two questions for you. Rate the series from 1-10 and rate how likely Leila and Denzel will be successful together 1-10 (10 being happy and growing). Leave your answers in the comments below!

Thank you for coming on this ride with me. I hope you enjoyed it!

END OF THE MONTH LONG SERIES – SCAR TISSUE.

New series, next Saturday!