Some friendships are only for a season, Sometimes they come in during your harvest Others during your drought Some are the shoulder to lean on Some need your shoulder A few are like mortgage contracts Thirty-year fixed Others are shorter than a Netflix show When some end It’s like an Iroko falls in the forest While others end with a soft block and unblock Then you change your Netflix password And forget they ever existed
The fear of loneliness is what makes it hard for some of us to audit our friendships because the truth is after some of those reviews, you’ll realize you were already alone. That you had grown apart while standing next to each other. Amazing to see that the pandemic of the last two years has brought many closer and some others completely dropped out of the picture. When was the last time you audited your friendships? Auditing also means reviewing your own performance and input in that space – are you worthy to still be called their friend?
Over the last few days, I have been thinking about the concept of “shelf life” and the spaces we occupy. Think of it like this – remember that vase your mom or dad had on the shelf. All your childhood, it was just there, in some African or Latino homes, it may even have been the place they hid emergency monies or keys. Notice how it was there for years and despite not moving much, it always served a purpose? Those are your riders, they may change color, grow old but they are there and impactful. Others are like the flowers in the vase – pretty for a while but ultimately, they “die and fade” and you hardly remember them beyond the short excitement they provided in the time they were there.
Auditing my friendships over the last few weeks, the following random thoughts jumped out to me
Stagnation is scary. Not really the stagnation of you life but truly looking at the core of a man or woman. Money doesn’t buy swag. Houses and cars don’t hide insecurities. And truth be told, sometimes the wealth you acquire to cover the manhole of inadequacies, only makes those flaws more glaring and sad when they rear their heads. I realized quickly that I am very afraid of seeing my friends stagnant, emotionally to be precise. How are you still having the same types of fights or outbursts as you did when you were 21? Where is your evolution? Do not be stagnant. You may have more money in the bank, and more rings on your hands but has the child in you grown? Found peace? Start within.
Am I the drama?
If you are the one constant when drama arises in a group, maybe, just maybe you should stay closer to your therapist and be more diligent in your self-improvement work. The tweet above sums it up. At some point for your friendships and relationships to blossom, you need to find a way to self-reflect and introspect. Are you the drama? Are you the one people need to tiptoe around? Have you gotten those mood swings in check? Do you drift in and out of being present? Are you still unable to see the group but only yourself? Hmmm.
When did we become our parents?
I noticed a few months ago that I was the person that would be wronged by someone and not really feel the need to defend myself. Happened a lot. People would say or do things that were false and I would always rely on “God knows best and my truth is mine” I recently realized where that came from. A few years ago, there was someone in my church that was going around telling lies about my dad – the Pastor. It was causing so much pain to me because all I wanted to do was defend him but he always told me to let it go. For months, it raged on till the person left the church and went to another church. Still smearing his name.
A few months later, I came back home late in the evening, it must have been around 11pm. When I pulled up, there were cars I recognized around the house. Walking in, I noticed a group of people in the second living room. They did not see me, nor did I want them to but I did peek in. Guess what I saw? That same woman and her husband were on their knees begging my dad. She apologized for lying against him and such. And my dad in typical fashion, he forgave. My mother was furious! But my dad has always been big on forgiveness. And so am I, the only difference is that I am not one to forget, you will not do it to me twice. IT just got me thinking, when did I become my dad? I am super particular like him, I dress serious like him, and I emotionally approach things and conflict like him. Damn, I truly am that man’s son. Sorry, Maury.
Are you like your parents or guardians in any way? And when did you realize that you had become like them? Let me know in the comments below!
Everything was in slow motion. It was as if we moved through the scenes in the movie Inception. My mouth went dry. My heart was racing. My eyes began to water as my palms got sweaty. I was angry, very angry. Lost in my head trying to make sense of this but I couldn’t believe what I was staring at. My father’s coffin in his home? How? I was still trying to process when I heard a sharp wail from my left hand side.
My mother dropped to her knees as she was crying uncontrollably. “Ta ni mo se” “Who did I offend?”
She continued to repeat as the twins tried to console her. Inconsolable as you can imagine. My older sister snapped into action and she said
“Dejo, how did this get here?”
Genuinely confused and fearfully of being blamed, Dejo began to shake as he responded.
“Madam, I swear to you, I no know”
“You don’t know?”
She followed. Dejo tried his best to explain.
“Madam, I dey that side dey wash the cars when I hear wetin be like truck for outside. I just think sey na delivery people dem dey drop something. Na when I finish come open gate, na him I see am”
As he wrapped up a small gathering of neighbors was forming. I could see everything playing out but it was like I was and just watching everything play out and I was still.
“Oya, help us bring it inside the gate and close the gate before the whole estate knows what is happening”
My sister instructed. Dejo, the drivers of the lawyer and my brother were joined by a few other men from the neighborhood. The coffin was lifted into the compound and the gate closed. My sister said
“Do we know if the body in there?”
No one answered. No one was certain. Then she said
“Open it up”
She said. My mother who was still on the floor crying suddenly sprung up and said
“Don’t you dare!”
Huffing and puffing, she looked enraged and possessed. She said
“That our family name has been dragged through the mud is not enough? You want to dishonor the memory of your father? NO WAY! That coffin stays closed and you all go about figuring out who in the hell would do such a despicable thing”
She turned around and began walking inside when I snapped out of the trance and I headed for Ivie and Kunle. They were standing apart as you can probably imagine that the things he heard inside had rocked his world a bit.
“You did this”
I said to Ivie with conviction. I could tell she was scared.
“You fucking did this with your diabolical ass. You did this shit like you planned all this other shit”
She froze. I yelled
Kunle stepped in and put his hand across my chest I turned and looked directly at him
“Kunle if you do not remove your hand from my body, I swear to God who made this earth, I will fucking pound in your face till you bleed to death. Get the fuck out of my way”
He stepped back but not too far, he seemed a bit concerned about what I could do to Ivie.
“Ivie, tell us how you are months away from a wedding with me but carrying my brother’s child. Tell us how you planned with Adesuwa to get me killed and then killed her yourself? Or just tell us why you dug up our father’s coffin and brought it into our home? Start anywhere”
Kehinde sprung and said
“Ivie is that true? Please tell us it’s not true”
Ivie in tears, said
“I had nothing to do with this”
Pointing to the coffin laying in front of us all.
“And the other things?”
I asked. She said
“I can explain honestly”
Sobbing she began to explain.
“I am sorry for lying to you Tomiwa, I really am. You did not deserve this. I was misled but my father…”
My mother jumped in
“I was instructed to get information on Tomiwa and the family by my father. I would often listen to business conversations with Tomiwa and funnel the information to my father. He told me to marry Tomiwa and that Chief Fehintola and he had come to an agreement to merge our families. But I was also told to not have sex with Tomiwa. Under any circumstances. The plan was to marry Tomiwa and ultimately get as much money from the family. Kunle and I met before I was introduced to Tomiwa. The day we met at your family Christmas party a few years back, I actually came with Kunle. We even had sex upstairs in the twins room while everyone was downstairs because it was the only free room. Kunle and I had been seeing each other. He knew nothing about the rest of the plan. And initially, all I wanted was Kunle. But once I knew I could choose to not sleep with Tomiwa and continue having Kunle, I was fine with that. I made peace with it. I would have the man I wanted.”
Teary eyed and flushed with tears, she rubbed her belly and said
“Kunle, your son or daughter is inside of me and I love you. And I will love this child with all of my heart. I completely understand if after all I have done, you no longer want to be involved in our lives but I love you and I will love this child”
Kunle looked down and away. Clearly the words got to him but he was conflicted and then he said
“Did you try to get my brother killed?”
Ivie sobbed harder and looked away.
“Yes. Yes, I did My dad told me I had to. Something had come out that would affect our plans and frankly, it seemed like a better deal to go that route and we could have just married without issues”
I was shocked.
“You wanted me out of the way. So you decided the best way was to kill me? When you could have just asked me to leave? When you knew it was Adesuwa that I wanted to marry and she was the woman I loved??? You are evil”
I was fuming. Kunle asked
“How can I be sure the baby is mine, with all these lies?”
Those words broke her. I could tell. She sobbed harder and said
“Kunle, I have never been with any man but you from day one. Only you”
He shook his head and turned away and I spoke.
“You had everything. A family that loves you, the big wedding you wanted, the houses, cars, trips around the world. All of it. Yet you wanted me dead, as if my family had not been through enough…”
There was a honk at the gate. All our eyes immediately shifted, who was it?
The gate swung open and a black tinted Mercedes AMG drove in. The driver rushed out and ran around the car to open to the owner’s corner. Out came a man that I was familiar with. A friend of the family and someone I had watched my father spend time with as we grew up. He was someone you could consider a true pillar of our family. Chief Akpo. Ivie’s father.
As he stepped out of the car, I had every intention of jumping him. But I had to contain my rage. He smiled big as he fixed his Agbada and he said
“I know you have many questions. Let us all go inside and we can clear things up”
We all sat down in the living room. Chief glee as ever while the glum faces of all of us waited to find out what was going on. Chief spoke first.
“I had hoped we would not get to this point but in life, some things just need to be done. That is the truth”
He smiled as he continued speaking
“Before all of you came about, way back in the day, Chief approached me with a proposition. He wanted me to father all of you. I agreed out of love for the man and I wanted to make sure that he had the joy of being a father too. But then, midway through the testing process, the Chief told me that he went with someone else. He never said who for years. And I could not prove who it was. I knew that if the DNA was run, it would show Chief was not the father but as far as showing who actually was, I was sure that we wouldn’t really get that luxury. Chief asked me to join the board as one of his closest friends and when we knew international investors were coming. I agreed but this time, because I did not trust his word, I demanded security. I got him to commit in writing that my daughter if I had one, would marry his son. And as you can see, God gave us what we wanted. The deal was done. Then you…”
He pointed at me and frowned a bit
“…You started making noise about not wanting my beautiful daughter. Something about wanting to marry who you loved. Well who you loved gave you up pretty easily to protect her parents. I bought out Adesuwa’s parents and simply threatened to run them into the ground. It was difficult but eventually we were able to convince her to take you out of the picture.”
I was stunned. The whole room was dead silent.
“This was simple. If the Chief held his end of the bargain, I got a couple of legitimate grandchildren in one of the wealthiest families and life would go on smoothly. When you started your drama, I approached Chief and reminded him that I knew his secret and it could be damaging if word got out. At first he appeared to listen and then he did not. I had to take matters into my own hands. I had my team working tirelessly to get the information I needed to make a move on him at the board level and take over the company. But before I could put my plan in action, he passed away. Around that same time, he told me that he was going to tell you all the truth after his trip. I guess he never made it to that. I knew that Chief was the type to not be blackmailed, so I sensed that he may have included the true identity of your fathers in the will. Well, everyone except you.”
He pointed at me again. Everyone sat up. My mother who had now stopped crying looked on inquisitively as he spoke.
“What do you mean?”
He leaned forward in his chair and said
“Everyone knows that Kunle is not yours. No surprise. But Tomiwa is the one legitimate child of you and Chief.”
The entire room gasped. The lawyer looked away.
Chief smiled and said
“Lawyer Williams knew. Chief knew. On our trip he told us about how his health was deteriorating and he might need a marrow transplant or something of the sort. Tomiwa, remember the set of tests you went to do with your father? I was able to acquire those from the hospital. It was in those results I found out that you were his only legitimate child. The results of the others showed what we already knew. Again, I planned to release the information for the takeover but your father elected to die before the news could get out.
He stood up. Flashed a fake smile at most of the room as he smoothed out his clothes. He said
“Look, I have no ill towards Chief nor will I speak ill of the dead but he chose to try and outsmart me instead of keeping his end of the agreement we had many years ago. For that, he will not rest. Digging up his coffin is only the start…”
Enraged I snapped up and yelled
“Say another word about my father and I will finish you here”
Lawyer Williams quickly jumped up and put his hand across my chest to stop me. Chief Akpo chuckled mischievously and said
“Now wouldn’t that be so beautiful? To see our new CEO beating up a board member. I dare you to do it, do it, so I can bury this family once and for all. It’s admirable to see you have the fight chief had in him though, maybe that’s why his swimmers were able to conquer out of the many failures. He chuckled”
He smiled mischievously and waved his finger in the direction of his daughter and said
“Ivie, let’s go”
She sheepishly got up, sobbing profusely and followed him out of the room. As the door shut. My mother looked at Lawyer Williams and said
He leaned back in the seat, almost tired and replied
“Yes but the Chief wanted to confirm. And you know I was bound by confidentiality laws”
She looked back at my siblings and said
“We are not letting any of those Bastards take what your father built.”
And she stormed out of the room.
My father was re-buried and about 6months had passed by. The vote for reorganizing the board and the company was coming up fast. Most of the family had settled into their routines. Life in our new normal was going along. My siblings returned to their various homes and lives while I prepared to officially take over for my dad. My days were strictly guarded by the security team. My mother and I were basically in an enforced lockdown. Kunle had been mostly ostracized by the family but his impact was still being felt. We simply were not the same family.
Two nights before the vote, I called Kunle and told him to meet with me the following night. He asked me where and I called him to give him the address. It was a property a friend of ours was developing. I told him I wanted a fresh set of eyes on the property as I was considering buying it.
I was standing in the middle of the uncompleted building as night covered Ibeju-Lekki. The building was huge and was clearly going to make a very nice home once completed. I heard a car pull into the lot and footsteps get closer.
Kunle called out
“T, you in here?”
“Yeah, just come through the front opening here”
He walked up to me and I greeted him.
“How are you holding up bro?”
I asked him.
“I guess you can say I’ve had better days”
I shook my head and said
“I totally understand bro. Hopefully things settle soon. So I wanted you to see this place because I was thinking of buying it and using it for corporate housing for visiting executives. We fully operate the space with cleaning crews, a maid, a driver and the full home experience. It saves us the millions we spend on hotels putting them up in expensive hotels when they come to town. What do you think?”
He nodded as we walked up the stairs to the second level
“Yeah this is really nice. And we can truly curate the type of experience they have when they are here. I love the idea. Maybe we get that interior design firm to design it for…”
He paused. We both looked at each other. There was a sound. It came from the first floor. I looked at him and asked
“Did you come here with someone?”
He nodded and said
“Yeah, Ivie is in the car. We are coming back from dinner”
He called out
We both headed back downstairs. As we hit the landing area, I greeted her
“Hi Ivie, long time. How are you?”
“Fine, thank you”
“And the baby?”
“She’s doing well too”
“That’s really good”
Bang. Bang. Bang.
White noise. I could hear a loud ringing in my ears. The shock hit me like I was drowning. I felt my back hit the floor hard. Staring up at the uncompleted ceiling and gasping for air, the pain coursed through my body. I was sure I was going to die. The pain was in my lower abdomen. I placed my hand on the source of the pain and I could feel my hand wet. I was bleeding. Gasping for air, I was praying that I didn’t die and I was trying to pray but the words weren’t coming. Then a familiar voice came through. I felt someone squat next to me and say
“Breathe baby. You are going to live”
I turned my head to my right side and through the darkness, I made out her face. She smiled at me and said
“The police will be here soon and an ambulance. You will be fine”
I closed my eyes and the next time I would open them, I was in the hospital. It was also there I found out that Tunde and Ivie were dead.
It was a bright and sweltering day. The skies were clear. It felt like one of those good days for a perfect hike or lemonade on your backyard porch. The day was mostly perfect. With a gentle breeze occasionally reminding you to enjoy life. You could imagine yourself in any tropical location and it would make sense. It was the type of day for your skin and self care routine without doing much. The summer was announcing itself in style. The bell rang and the space flooded.
Stepping out, I opened the door with my right hand. They hopped in. Sitting back down in the driver’s seat and starting the car, my friend asked
“Oya finish now. Who shot them?”
I smiled and said
“Let’s just say, mother’s know everything”
“I knew it! I knew it!”
“How did she know where you were???”
I smiled and replied
“She followed me”
He exclaimed again
“Do you know if she pulled the trigger herself?”
I shook my head and said
“Fam, I don’t know and in many ways, I am grateful I don’t know anything about that night. I am just grateful for my family and continuing to grow the family business from here”
I pulled out of the school parking lot as another car sped past me almost hitting my car. I yelled out
My twin boys in the backseat both yelled out
I looked at my friend and then at the kids in the back and said
“Sorry kids. Bad habits”
We all chuckled as I turned onto the highway and drove right into Los Angeles traffic. The cars were backed up for miles. Traffic was notorious and ever present, not like the “forgotten” events in another overcrowded metropolis thousands of miles away. My friend visiting from Belgium said
“What The Heck Man, is this always how bad traffic is in LA?”
I nodded and said
He looked over to me and said
“But I bet you are glad you are far away from all that drama huh?”
Feeling the twinge from the nerve damage in my abdomen from the gunshot would I suffered that night, I looked out the window and then into the rearview mirror at my kids on their iPads and I replied
“Every. Single. Day bro Every. Single. Day”
End of the Bastards series. Please like this story, leave a comment below, and share social media!
In. Out. In. Out. In. Wow. I couldn’t see the light. Was I even supposed to see the light being that I died in sin? Has anyone figured out how that whole thing works? I obviously had not. The room was dark and everything was moving slow. I was trying to figure out what was going to happen next. Slowly opening my eyes trying to see what just happened… As I opened my eyes I looked around my body to make sure that I had not been shot. I couldn’t find any bullet wounds, so I looked over to where Adesuwa was standing. Slammed to the floor with a gun in her hand. I looked over to the door of the room and that is where I saw her standing with a gun in her hand. I was shocked. After all, she wasn’t supposed to be here till tomorrow. “How did you get here so fast?”, I thought.
“Ivie, what the fuck? What are you doing here?”
I said as I got off the bed. I slowly got up and walked over to her. As I approached, she lowered the weapon. None of it made sense. Shaking to my bones, I slowly approached Ivie.
“Ivie, let me explain.”
I opened with. I was trying to calm her down and not let her shoot me because I was cheating on her. As I approached her, I knelt down and pleaded.
“Ivie, I am sorry.”
She didn’t even look at me. Her eyes were fixed on Adesuwa’s lifeless body on the ground. A whole minute that felt like an eternity must have passed, but she eventually handed the gun to me. I took it in my hand and stood up. As I backed away from her, she said,
“We need to get rid of the body.”
My eyes grew big and I couldn’t understand why. I asked.
It was as if then she finally snapped out of a trance and she said,
“Your mistress is dead on your bedroom floor and you’re asking me why?”
“But I didn’t shoot her.”
I replied. Cold and firm, she walked over to me and said,
“Your prints are all over that gun in your hand, your semen is probably inside of her and your soon to be wife was about to walk in on you two, what do you think they would believe Tomiwa?”
I stared at the gun in my hand and then at Adesuwa’s body. Fuck! She was right.
She helped me put the body in the carpet from the living room on the second floor; we hauled the body down and outside the house. As I lifted the body into my trunk, she asked me,
“Are you going to dump it in the water?”
I shook my head and said,
“No, the body could float. I have to find an incinerator or dump it on the way to Lagos.”
She didn’t argue. I ran back into the house and got all of her things. I vividly remember putting her cellphone in my pocket. As I got into the car, I asked Ivie,
“Are you coming with me?”
She sharply said
Then she continued and said,
“I have to drive my car to Lagos. Obviously cannot leave it here. I’ll meet you at the house in Lagos”
The drive to Lagos felt like the longest in my life. I kept trying to drive fast but I was worried that if I drove too fast it would raise suspicion.
Mowe-Ibafo, Berger, and I was making my way to Oshodi. Sweating profusely, my throat was dry. I was just trying to get to the incinerator at my friend’s waste management company. It was already midday as I pulled into the parking lot, I hadn’t called him ahead of time. How would I have explained needing a professional torching chamber?
As I parked, one of the employees came up to me just as I was stepping out of the car. She curtsied as she came closer.
“Good afternoon sir.”
“Good afternoon, is your oga around?”
I asked her in response.
She replied with some disappointment.
“Will he be in today?”
I asked. She shook her her head and said,
“I don’t think so sir. Today and tomorrow, we are doing maintenance around the whole facility. So I don’t think anybody from the office side will be here. Till Thursday sir.
Do you need me to call him sir?”
I raised my hand to discourage her against that.
“No need my dear.”
I got back into the car and started it as I tried to drive off. I was turned around, trying to back out of the parking spot when I heard a light tap on the window. I turned back to my left and she was standing there. As I wound down, she said,
“Oga, it’s like blood is dripping on the floor from your boot (trunk).”
I smiled and said,
“Oh, don’t worry about it, mo se se tan lodo awon eleran ni.” “Don’t worry about it, I just left the meat sellers/meat packing.”
“Oh okay, sir. Ke ni nice day” “Have a nice day.”
As I drove out of the facility, I started to panic. The body in the trunk was dripping and it was the high of the afternoon. That meant I had to keep the body in there till night came before disposing of it. Fuck.
As I pulled up to my house, I was trying to get in and park the car without anyone noticing me. Audu, my gateman, opened up the gate and I immediately sent him on an errand that required him to leave the house. Nkechi, the maid, was more than likely inside, preparing dinner. I quickly parked the car and I was walking to the gate when I heard sirens and the police swarmed my compound. Immediately, I was reprimanded, handcuffed and thrown in the back of a police car.
The head arresting officer marched into the compound, walked to my car, stopped and then walked back to the car I was in . He opened the door and said,
“Where are the car keys?”
“In my pocket.”
I replied. He reached into my pocket and pulled it out.
“Take him to the station.”
He said as he closed the door. And within seconds, the car was leaving. All I could think of was WhatTheHeckMan.
Sanmi here popping in to say hi! If you’re new to WhatTheHeckMan, welcome! I am not sorry for the cliffhangers and the suspense but I am thrilled to have you here. I hope you enjoy my stories – most of which I create in my head. My #WordsOfWednesday pieces are unfiltered and the purest me. Thank you for reading all of it. Please, if you are reading this, let me know how you feel about the story. Don’t assume that I don’t see it or that other people are doing it, so you don’t need to. Your support is EVERYTHING.
Missed the last series? Start here! Scar Tissue Now back to Bastards 2! Brace yourself. 😎
Sitting in that dark and cold cell, I kept thinking about how I got there. How did they know the body was in the car? I had only left Ibadan a few hours before. Did the girl from my friend’s business call him and he called the police? How did the police know where to go immediately? No fuss, no “detective” work, they just knew.
For the longest time, it never even crossed my mind that the person that helped me put the body in the trunk, may have snitched on me. It felt like an eternity sitting there trying to piece together what had happened. It had been an incredible 36 hours. No one ever thinks that you would find out that your beloved father was not your father, your childhood love would die in front of you and you would be arrested for murder, all before another moon.
There was a man wailing in the cell next to me. I could tell that he had been beaten and he was crying out for his family – essentially saying that he didn’t do whatever he was arrested for and he couldn’t breathe in that tight cell. I was thinking about what I would say. What would happen officially? Would people at the company start looking at my siblings and I differently? A wedding was in the works, but I was about to be outed as a cheat. And what would Ivie think of me? What was she thinking of me? Did she make it to Lagos safely? Did she know that I was taken? Did she know I was taken by the police and not robbed or kidnapped?
I wasn’t sure what time it was but I was starting to get sleepy. It was a weird feeling because my heart was racing like crazy but my body was tired. I started crying. As quietly as possible, all of the tears and sobs I tried to contain in the dark cell started to seep out. My asthma was starting to act up and I was begging my body to behave but my heart was shattering. It felt like my chest was closing in on my heart. I stopped crying and began trying to control my breaths. Slowly, in and out. In. Out. In. Out. I closed my eyes and tried to wiggle my toes – a grounding technique I learned back in college. As I was starting to calm down, an officer came to the cell door and shook the bars while saying,
I opened my eyes and sprung up.
“Yes, that’s me.”
“Your people dey here to see you.”
I asked to clarify.
“You no hear wetin I just talk?”
He replied rudely as he opened up the cell door. I quickly rose and headed out of the cell. The hallway was dark and tight but I just followed him towards the end of the hallway.
As I came into the waiting area, I noticed my mother, our family lawyer and the DPO (Divisional Police Officer) They appeared to have been in conversation before I appeared. As soon as my mother saw me, you could see the relief on her face.
“Oko mi, are you alright?”
She asked concernedly while throwing her arms around me. I nodded while fighting back those tears I was just shedding. I knew I would leave there deep down, but with Nigerian police, what can you really trust or guarantee?
My mother and I walked out of the police station and towards the car as she rubbed my back. We got into the car and waited as the lawyer spoke to the police. I sat behind the driver and my mother sat next to me. She asked again,
“Are you okay?”
I nodded again and said,
A few seconds after, the lawyer got into the passenger seat. The driver started the car and we drove out of the station. As we got onto the main road, the lawyer turned around and said,
“Tomiwa, I have to ask you a few questions. I know the last few hours have been hard but I need to know so we can start working.”
“Did you shoot that young woman?”
He asked. I shook my head and said,
“Did you have any intentions of killing her or having her killed?”
I shook my head again and said,
“Absolutely not. I loved her.”
My mother looked at me when those words left my mouth. She knew I did. Everyone knew I did. But it was not what my father wanted, so it never happened. It appeared that having his own children was the only thing my father didn’t have his own way.
The lawyer asked next,
“Do you have the gun or know where it is?”
“Yes, I do. It’s in the locked glove compartment of my car.”
My mother said,
“We are going to stop by my house first before we take you to yours.”
I wasn’t sure why but I replied.
A few seconds of silence and then I thought to ask,
“How did you even know where I was?”
“Tobe came back and noticed the gate was open and your car abandoned. He watched the CCTV recording and contacted me. I called around and located where you were being held. Mr. Williams and I drove down from Ibadan to get you.”
She explained. That damn CCTV finally came to use. And then it clicked. I had the same system installed in my Ibadan home. Hell, my father had us install security systems everywhere. That meant I could prove that Ivie came in when she did and murdered Adesuwa.
In a weird sequence of events, I felt quick relief and then sadness at realizing that Adesuwa was still gone. I asked my mother,
“Where is her body?”
“Don’t worry about that son. Her family has been notified and we have explained that more details will follow as the investigation develops. Like I said, it’s being handled.”
She replied with calm and confidence. I had only ever seen my mother like this once in my life – when my father had knee surgery and she had to run the business for a few months. She didn’t always flex this side of her but I always knew there was a cold blooded schemer in her. I knew there was more command, especially with the news about my father not being my father. But I was willing to wait to learn those truths.
“Tomiwa, I am sorry about Adesuwa. I am well aware that you loved her and wished you could marry her but as you will continue to find out, in life, we do not always get what we want or deserve. You will have your time to mourn her loss, but for now, I need you to be strong because we are about to be at war.”
She trailed on and I interrupted,
She looked at me and echoed,
“War. Yes, a full blown war against some bastards trying to ruin us. So brace yourself. You and your sisters need to be at full attention and stay vigilant.”
She paused and said,
“Does Ivie know about Adesuwa?”
I nodded. She sighed and said,
“Hmmm. How is she handling that with the baby?”
She tilted her head to the left as she looked at me.
“Baby? What baby?”
My mom pulled down her glasses.
“You weren’t planning on telling me that Ivie was pregnant?”
She asked almost in betrayal.
I was shocked.
“Ivie and I have never had sex. Never.”
I explained to her.
“You and Ivie have never been intimate? In all these yearsssss???”
“Yes mother. She always told me that she was waiting for marriage. And I agreed because frankly I didn’t love her anyways so having sex with her was not something that I particularly wanted.”
My mom stared straight ahead with her right hand on her chin and muttered,
“You didn’t know?”
I then asked.
“How did you know?”
“Ivie came by the house early this morning in Ibadan and told me herself. I was wondering where you were but she said you rushed to Lagos. It made no sense to me but I just assumed she was eager to share with me as she missed the funeral and all. You know…to give me good news in these dark times.”
I laughed and said.
“Ivie came to you this morning?”
I continued. She replied,
I laughed and shook my head before planting them in my hands. My head was spinning. I was out of my depth and completely confused. This woman was cheating on me as I was cheating on her but why would she try to pass off the child as mine?
My mother asked,
“So if the child is not yours and you didn’t know, then who is the father?”
Mr Williams in the front of the car responded without looking back,
“It’s his brother’s.”
I raised my head out of my hands as my mother and I screamed,
End of Part 2. I know you want part 3 ASAP but to get it, you have to comment! Go ahead and dropit below! Share with your friends and family to get us to 20!
I watched your video today The one we made on our fifth date When you looked into the camera and tried to pronounce my middle name The way your smile warmed my heart More than the French toast from brunch We were by the waterside All I could see were white sands and you, in a similarly beautiful dress Getting ahead of myself? I know Always my mistake But as I stored the video away that day I didn’t have to worry about storage space
The annoying reminders “Upload to your iCloud account” A telling reminder that I had no more space Useful space So I started to delete things Memories, moments, mornings Trying to find space Like those reminders, you became a nag I initially tried to make it stop But eventually, I gave in and deleted things Slowly But the reminders kept coming “Purchase extra storage space” And so I did I bit the apple as I paid and you were gone
I stumbled on that video The one that started it all Your smile, still so beautiful But this time I watched it with no sound No promises remembered I missed you for a second I reached out and dialed Then it went straight to voicemail You blocked me
When the heart feels empty, home has no warmth.
Written on October 19th, 2017 when I realized they had moved out.
I couldn’t stop looking out the window. Taking it all in, I couldn’t understand why this was happening. Denny’s was busy per usual. And my brain was trying to organize all the open tabs. Why would he send me flowers? Did he even send the flowers? Phone in hand, I crossed my arms and stared at them. I had moved the flowers to my table next to the window. The flowers deserved light. They were a beautiful and colorful rose bouquet.
I wanted to call again but my pride wouldn’t let me. I eventually took a picture of the bouquet and posted it on my instagram with the caption, “Thank you secret admirer for the flowers, I appreciate them.”
The back half of my workout was pretty weak and I think it’s because I was distracted. But thankfully I pushed through – I was taking necessary steps towards getting back to full fitness. I tell you this though, them hip thrusts? Not easy!
Later that afternoon, I would braid my hair into three big all-back cornrows and do a chemical peel and Manuka Honey mask. Ezi came over later with some wine, apple pie and ice cream. We started catching up and I told her about the fight with Denzel. She said,
“Babes, you fucked up. Like how would he tell you that and within 48hours you were using it against him? All he asked for was space!”
I chimed in,
“But honestly, you should have seen him. He went from like 0 to 200.”
“Yes! People are allowed to do that when you tell them you had an abortion for a married man! You cannot police his feelings, love. And it’s not like he called you out your name or something, man just said he needed space and you flipped.”
She clapped back at me. I froze, and without having a clean comeback, I picked up my phone and pretended to text someone. Ezi saw right through it.
“Girl, put that phone down.”
As she smacked it out of my hand.
“What are you going to do? From what you told me, he sounds like a great guy, so are you actively trying to get him back or what?”
I couldn’t contain it. It felt like the emotions of the last few weeks poured out in one as I said,
“Ezi, I have called him, multiple times. He is ignoring me. I know I fucked up. I panicked. Telling him felt very risky and made me vulnerable. I guess I did not play for a very real reaction from him. I wish I could take it back. He is such a great guy and I wish I didn’t mess this up, but I am starting to think that it’s beyond repair. Those flowers came today and I thought he sent them but there is no note. I called, and I was blocked.”
Ezi came closer and hugged me.
“It’s gonna be okay.” She said.
As I pulled away from her, she said,
“How do you know that he blocked you for sure?”
“I have called a few times and it just goes to voicemail.”
Ezi reached for her phone and said,
“Let me try calling. Let’s see if he really blocked you.”
I called out the number and she began dialing. A few buzzes and I heard his voice over the phone,
Fuck! This man blatantly blocked me. I was shook.
Ezi had an apologetic look on her. She tried to make me feel better when she said,
“It’s okay love. Just give him some space. He’ll come around.”
Ezi would stay for a few more hours before leaving for the night. As soon as she left, the sadness set back in. I desperately wanted to sleep but I couldn’t. My mind was racing and I kept trying to figure things out. A part of me felt pride, that I was a good person and I deserved to be fought for – and the other was incredibly critical and bashing me for messing up a great opportunity at a happy future. Those thoughts filled my head for hours, until Denny’s became busy that night. But there it was, the familiar loneliness and the background noise of unassuming people living their best lives, one pancake and one sausage at a time.
I was waiting for the doctor to come back with the results of my checkup. My heart was racing for some reason. Initially, I couldn’t figure it out. It felt like I was waiting for bad news. Almost like when you get the “babe we need to talk” text in the morning, but y’all can’t talk till nighttime. I was praying for good news.
I was feeling good, it was a month after the surgery. My diet had been good, I was lightly back to working out, and even started working from home on a few cases. The wait was taking a bit longer than I expected. I pulled out my phone and I went onInstagram. I am not sure if it was the universe or something but the first profile to show up was Denzel’s. I had already tapped into it too fast that I couldn’t back out anymore. The first snap was his meal from the night before, at dinner. First, his plate and then a boomerang of his group of friends taking shots. The next snap was the crew walking down Oxford street. Yes, in London!
I closed the app quickly and tried to control my breathing. A part of me felt very weak because I had been doing a good job over the past few days. I had a moment a few days before where I had to tell myself to get it right. I am still not sure why him being in London was annoying to me. But I felt cheated. I felt like I wanted him to just call me; tell me he was annoyed, tell me we could work things out. But I guess that is one of the things you want to know about someone before getting deep with them. It is important to understand how they are when happy and how they navigate conflict. The doctor interrupted my thoughts and said,
“Ms Leila, how are you? Sorry for the wait.”
I smiled and replied,
“It’s fine, doctor. I’m okay.”
He smiled and said,
“Well, I have good news for you. All your test results came back great. You are definitely trending in the right direction post surgery. I will say to continue doing what you are doing – taking it easy and not stressing yourself. In a couple of weeks, you can resume light travel and the likes. But as much as you can get people to help with things, feel free to let them do that for you. How is that young man that was by your side during surgery?”
I smiled and said,
“We broke up.”
“Oh, that’s a bummer. Well, still take it easy and try not to over exert yourself.”
“How are the meds working?”
“Everything is working well. I think it’s because I haven’t been doing too much; the side effects like dizziness have been mild. So, I would say pretty good actually.”
“That’s good to hear.”
He replied and then continued,
“Well, if anything changes or you are feeling anything, please contact me and we can alter some things. Okay?”
“Well, great. I’ll get out of your hair. You can change back to your clothes and I’ll see you at your next check-in. Have a great rest of the day.”
He said as he shook my hand and exited the room. I sat there for a few seconds before I started putting my clothes on. The results of my checkup made me happy but I was still sad inside. That was the story of my life at that point.
I was starting to forget about Denzel. Okay, that was a lie. It’s better to say that I was not being regularly triggered by thoughts of him. It had been two months since he walked out of my apartment.
I felt like I had finally moved on. After all, I had a date later that night! It was a friend of a friend that had been on my case for almost a year. He reached out to me and asked me out again, I needed to get back in the game so I said ‘yes’.
I told him that I would meet him there. It was a nice Thai restaurant that had opened about 6months prior. The ambience was really lovely and I was excited for the food if not the date. I was pleasantly surprised at how things went at dinner – the food was so good and he was actually a really good conversationalist. I didn’t realize that we were pushing almost two hours. He had an early day the next day and I had to catch up on some work. So we decided to end the night a bit earlier than I usually would like to end a date.
As we headed out of the restaurant, he asked,
“Did you drive?”
“Yeah, I parked in the garage a couple blocks down.”
“Okay, I’ll walk you to your car.”
We kept talking as we walked down the street.
As we neared the end of the walkway, we walked right past a BevMo. I just happened to glance into the store and I saw him. Yes, Denzel. I stopped for a quick second and then I continued walking. Chad asked me,
and kept on walking. As we got to the end of the street, I could feel my heart racing. I said to Chad,
“Hey, I saw someone back there that I should probably say hello to. If it’s okay, we can say goodbye here and I’ll let you know when I get in?”
He seemed a bit confused and maybe disappointed but he replied,
“Sure thing. Have a good rest of the night.” He leaned down, gave me a hug and disappeared into the night.
Till this day, I am not even sure where the courage came from but I stormed into the BevMo and looked through two aisles before I found Denzel.
“So you just decided to not pick my calls, reply to my texts and block me?”
He was startled. His first words were,
“Hey, let me call you back.”
He glanced at his phone to make sure the call had ended and I said,
“Are you going to answer me Denzel?”
He replied and said,
“Leila, I simply asked for time.”
I snarled back and said,
“And two months is not enough time? Can you confidently say that what I said deserved that?”
He looked embarrassed as he said,
“Leila, do we really have to do this here?”
I didn’t care, I truly didn’t. I was very angry.
“Yes, Denzel. I don’t care about these people. Why are you pretending like you had any intention of contacting me? If I didn’t see you today, you would not have reached out to me. So please, just answer my question.”
He paused and then he said,
“Leila, everything was just moving really fast. Not really your fault to be honest but even with what you told me, I felt like I needed time to process – which I asked for and you snapped at me. You didn’t just snap at me, you decided to use something I told you in confidence against me. Something I don’t even think you know enough about to speak on. So yes, it has taken me awhile to come around to the idea of engaging you in conversation.”
I understood what he was saying despite my ego being bruised.
“So what now?”
“We’re just done? No closure, no discussion. Nothing?”
I added. He stood straight and said,
“I had every intention of calling you, but with your reaction, I just felt I needed to protect myself first. These past few weeks have not been easy for me either. But I needed to take care of myself first.”
There wasn’t really much else to say. I turned and said,
“Well, thanks for saying that.”
“How has your recovery been?”
I snarled back as I walked away.
As I got home some 15 minutes later, I got a text message from Denzel saying,
“I am sorry about how that went. I am glad to know you are doing well. It was good seeing you and I hope you liked your flowers.”
I hissed and put the phone down. My heart melted but I was also very annoyed by the whole exchange. It was only a few seconds. and the tears came flowing down. WhatTheHeckMan.
I would spend days thinking about the entire Denzel situation. Not the fight or coming from a place of regret but more trying to understand myself and why I reacted the way I did. It was not lost on me that my relationship with my mother and past let downs with men scarred me. But, I needed to take ownership of my life. It took me a few days, but I began to see the exchange with Denzel as a learning experience.
The situation put my insecurities in full focus. The level of vulnerability that Denzel saw me in, frightened me. Because of my health situation and how things happened, we accelerated what would have normally taken months to uncover. The level of vulnerability that Denzel and I had gotten to would have come from repeated opportunities to flex the muscles of trust and safety.
I got back from a grocery run and I was putting the items away in the kitchen when my phone began to ring. I reached for it and it was Denzel.
I said with caution, not fully understanding why he was calling me. I could tell he was smiling on the other side of the line as he said,
“I’ve been wondering…”
“I’ve been wondering…how different things would have been if I had just let you win that race on our first and only date? Or how you never gave me my trophy for crushing you at that race. I’ve been wondering how many things we’ve left unasked or words unsaid. I have been thinking about how sorry I am that it’s taken this long to say I miss you. And I want to see you. I’ve been wondering if you would want to see me too.”
I didn’t even realize that I was already smiling and then I said,
“Well, technically if I didn’t pass out. I would have won but yes, I have been thinking of things as well and how it could have been different. And yes, I would like to see you.”
“Would you like to see me right now?”
I quickly replied. He asked again,
“Will you like to see me right now?”
“Where are you?”
I responded. I could almost picture his smile as he said,
“Look outside the window.”
It was one of the few times my blinds were actually covering the window but I walked over and I slowly pulled them up with my left hand. There he was. As the blinds went up, he waved at me and on the phone, he said,
“Pancakes or waffles?”
I ugly laughed like a baby and told him I would be down in a few. Mouthwash, a spritz of perfume and I fixed my wig before I darted out of the house.
The way we hugged each other was different; more different than when we hugged before my surgery and even after. It felt so intentional and I felt safe.
“You look really good.”
“Thanks. So do you.”
We sat down and started talking after we ordered our food. I spoke first,
“Denzel, I want to start by apologizing for my reactions when I shared what I shared with you. It was immature and unnecessary. You have displayed the highest level of respect and responsibility through everything, my outburst was unfair to you and I am truly sorry.”
His head dropped down, then went back up as he said,
“I am sorry too. I wasn’t expecting what you told me and I pride myself in controlling how I react to things. I have spent years in therapy and medicating to ensure that I remain present and engaged in conversations and in my relationships. That day caught me off guard and I think your approach to my feelings made me uncomfortable as well, so I chose to leave. I am sorry it has taken us this long to see each other and to talk through this.”
I was so grateful for his poise and his calmness in apologizing. I made a joke saying,
“It doesn’t look like you’ve lost any sleep since that day. Looking fine as hell.”
He chuckled and said,
“Trust me, the heart has taken a beating missing you and trying to figure out what you want going forward.”
“What do you want going forward, Denzel?”
I asked. He looked me straight in the face and said,
I felt chills run down my spine. I gathered myself and asked
“Are you sure?”
He smiled and said,
“Yes, I am.”
I looked at him with some seriousness and said,
“Even after the ‘beating’ I have given you emotionally?”
He smiled again and said,
“When you fell, I felt so many things. I worried about your life and health but something in me made me stay. Sometimes you love but you aren’t in love, and sometimes you fight the one you love, to fight for your entire idea of love.”
I started tearing and he said,
As he reached over to wipe my tears. He said,
“We have both taken a beating and through all we have seen together, the only way now is up. I would love to get to know you better and deeper. We will be stronger for all that we have been through. The beautiful thing about scar tissue is that it’s always stronger on the comeback.”
I had a few tears streaming down my face and I said,
“If you weren’t sitting so far away, I would come and kiss you.”
He smiled, got up and came over to my side. Holding my face, he planted the warmest kiss on my lips. My breathing turned slow, my muscles relaxed and I almost melted in his arms. Midway through the kiss, our waitress came and said,
“Here’s your water.”
Embarrassed, we both giggled as we moved the cups. He placed his hand on my inner thigh as I leaned on his shoulder. Then he said,
“So tell me something about you. Something simple o.”
We both laughed so hard! Then I replied and said,
“This is my first time ever in a Denny’s. It has always given me ghetto vibes.”
He looked surprised as he looked at me and said,
“Why didn’t you tell me, so we could go somewhere else?!”
I smiled and said,
“It’s okay. I just wanted to see you.”
He kissed me again, and this time, as we were kissing we heard people arguing behind us. As we turned around, it was a couple in the middle of a huge argument. From what we overheard, he was not taking care of her and he might also have been sleeping with her cousin.
We both burst out laughing so hard and lost it as he said – say it with me people…
WhatTheHeckMa……. Please leave me a comment below. Here are two questions for you. Rate the series from 1-10 and rate how likely Leila and Denzel will be successful together 1-10 (10 being happy and growing). Leave your answers in the comments below!
Thank you for coming on this ride with me. I hope you enjoyed it!
I remember when I was eight years old; my friend Ezi and I found a puppy on our way back from school. We picked him up and spent the remainder of our walk home trying to decide if we should keep him or not. Ezi and I lived in the same cul-de-sac, so as we stood between our homes, she tried to convince me to let her take him home. I was in love with him already. I even came up with the name we gave him – Rex. Ezi’s family is super religious and at the time, her Gambian mom would have seen a stray pup as an evil spirit being brought into the house. I finally convinced her to let me keep him and we would alternate every two days. She came over with me as we converted the old empty microwave box in my garage into a dog bed. Our grand plan was to keep Rex in my room during the day and then move him to the garage at night.
Things worked well for Thursday and Friday but on Saturday when I followed my mother to the women’s fellowship at church, I couldn’t wait to get home. I was incredibly annoyed by the fact that she wouldn’t just leave and take me home. I know many of you can relate to our parents lingering back in church for hours. Rex needed to eat!
By the time we got home, my father was in the living room watching TV and drinking a beer. My older brothers had not returned from their soccer games with my uncle who coached them. As the door opened, I thought I was going to die. Right next to my dad was Rex’s cage. I almost choked. My dad barely even looked up as he greeted my mom. His eyes never left the game he was watching. I wasn’t sure what to do or say about the obvious dog sitting next to my dad. I was trying to figure out what to say but before I could jump in, my mom jumped in and said
“Where did you get a dog?”
My dad glanced down at Rex who was cutely trying to get out of the box. Without even looking at my mom, he said
“I got it from a coworker moving out of town.”
“Oh, who is moving? Jim or Dorian?”
My mom followed up. He didn’t even flinch. He said
“Not them. You don’t know Chris.”
It almost seemed as if my mom did not want to get into it with my dad. Most of his projects ended up with her cleaning up after him or him abandoning it halfway. I am confident that she believed he would get rid of Rex within weeks. My brothers would also fall in love with Rex instantly once they got back home. That afternoon though, as my mother left the room, my father turned to me sitting on the couch nervously next to him, looked me dead in the eye and said
“Never hide anything from me ever again.”
I nodded as he let me play with Rex. He must have gone into my room and noticed Rex or maybe he had heard him moan. It was the first time I ever saw my dad lie. That incident made us so close, he became my best friend and my hero. A lie brought us close and allowed me to always live my truth with him. Years later, I would see him lie for the second time in my life – the day they told us about my mom’s lung cancer.
Rex would be in our family for 11 years till he and my mother would pass away within a month of each other. I used to always think that Rex kept her alive. One month after she passed, he left us too. I remember the day being cold, really cold. Somewhat like today.
My surgery was a few hours away and I was nervous. The only time I cried as much as I had in the last two days was that month I just described. Between Rex and my mom, I couldn’t breathe. In many ways, I felt like both deaths were telegraphed. I knew they would happen but I did not plan for the pain I would feel after. My dad initially hid my mom’s diagnosis from us until he couldn’t anymore and frankly, it was easier for him because they had been divorced for a bit. Well, and my mom had been cheating on him. It was as if she knew her time was up, so she decided to go back to her high-school/college sweetheart. They would live out the rest of her time together. I cried more when she moved out of the house than when she died. And when Rex was put down, I lost it.
The surgery weighed heavy on me. I was scared. All I could think of was my mother for some weird reason. I felt like it was a curse. How medical conditions would come in and snatch happiness, hope and potential away from unassuming people. I couldn’t stop crying. Denzel was right there with me. When I would stop crying and knock out, I would hear him whip out his laptop and try to catch up on work. The man was trying.
I was two hours away from surgery when my father walked into my hotel room with his new wife. Okay newish wife. He tried to marry this Ghanaian lady a few years after my mom passed and that was a bust. After my siblings and I moved out, he just stuck to teaching around the world and frankly, racking up international partners. A few years ago, he decided to settle down with Estelle and she is an angel. She rushed to my side and gave me a big hug, tears welled up in her eyes.
“Baby geh, are you okay?”
she said. You gotta say it in a Liberian accent to get the full effect. I chuckled a bit as my face lit up. Before I could respond, my dad and best friend spoke
“We got the first available flight down.”
I smiled like a kid and said
“Where are you coming from now?”
He fixed his coat as he came to give me a kiss on my forehead and said
“Kuwait… I’ve been co-directing a US exchange program there.”
I was so proud. He channeled everything into work after mom and he really took his career to the next level. He continued and said
“So, who can fill me in here, what’s the status and who is this gentleman?”
as he made his way towards Denzel, hand outstretched.
Denzel responded and said
“Hello sir, I’m Denzel, a friend of Leila”
My dad firmly shook his hand and looked over to me. It was as if his eyes said
“Is this him?”
A few seconds later, my dad said
I nodded. Denzel kept smiling, clearly embarrassed but confused about what was happening. My dad added
“I’ve heard a lot about you Denzel. Don’t worry, just enough, not too much.”
Everyone laughed. With Denzel’s help, we quickly brought my father up to speed. We were only a few minutes away when he asked if he could have the room. Everyone left us. He pulled out the chair close to me, sat down and held my hand to pray with me. Once he finished praying, he just looked me dead in the eye and said
“I’ll be right here when you get out and we’ll figure this out together.”
There are moments that define you and moments you choose to define. They are not the same but operate with the general concept. You deciding what you are willing to take and what you let take you. I don’t really know what I expected to be the case post surgery but I just prayed that I woke up.
As I woke up, my mouth tasted bitter and it felt stiff. I wasn’t really plugged in. I sort of opened my eyes and tried to find my bearings. Stumbling into consciousness, I felt a warm hand envelope my left hand. Denzel. He smiled at me and said
“Hey beautiful, welcome back.”
I rolled my eyes as I swallowed hard and replied
“I am pretty sure there is nothing beautiful about how I look right now”
He kept smiling and said
“You are always beautiful to me”
“Aren’t you so sweet?”
I gently replied.
I followed up by asking
“How long have I been out for?”
He paused as if he didn’t want to answer and then he said
I replied in shock. He nodded and said
“Yes, they had to keep you in an induced coma to make sure your body healed properly from the surgery”
I was still in shock and he said
“But you have been recovering really well though. They said your body is reacting very well to treatment and the meds.”
“Your dad and Estelle just left about an hour ago to visit a friend. I think someone just had a baby or something”
My mind flashed to my cousin Leah, we were born a few weeks apart. She was having her first child. I was so caught up in everything happening that I completely forgot about it. I asked
“Did they tell you what she had?”
I said as I smiled.
“We’ve been on a girl streak in our family for a long time. I hoped that I would break….”
I could not finish the sentence as I almost broke down. It felt unfair to get stuck on the negatives when I was just glad that I made it out alive.
Denzel picked up on it and quickly jumped saying
“Soooooo now that you are awake? What do you want to eat?”
I held back the tears and I said
“Is it weird that I want okra with goat meat?”
He smiled and said
“Okay I gotchu. I’m gonna make you some.”
I fixed my head to the right and said
“Hold up, you can cook COOK?”
He nodded and said
“Uhhhh yeah. You thought I was joking when I told you I could cook?”
I smiled and said
“Wait a minuteeee. I didn’t think you were lying. I just thought you meant you could cook basic shit like noodles and the occasional pasta. Since we know how much you Nigerian men love adding that to your Chef kit.”
He burst out laughing and said
“Nah booboo. I cook cook and I do it well. I just don’t do it enough because I travel so much. So I never want things to go bad.”
I was actually impressed because he clearly looked like he was telling the truth He got up and said
“I’m gonna head back to mines and be back soon. Luckily okra doesn’t take too long to make. I’ll make it, shower and be back before you know it.”
I quickly chimed in and said
“What’s gonna be in it? Cos I love my goat meat”
He smiled and said
“Don’t worry bout it sweetheart. Don’t worry bout it. That’s that spla, that’s that spla right there.”
He kissed my forehead and grabbed his things and walked out. I took a deep sigh. All the emotions were about to hit me. I was out of surgery, alive and somehow I had managed to keep this awesome man around. What in the world! As I was sorting through the emotions, the door opened and my nurse walked in. She checked my vitals, asked how much pain I was in and how I was feeling overall. I asked her about the details of my surgery and she said
“Overall things went well. The doctor is going to be coming around a little later though to go over all the details with you. In the meantime, do you need anything else?”
I shook my head and she began to leave. She got to the door, stopped, turned around and said
“It’s not really my business but I think you should know that man has not left your side since the first night you got here. He has slept in that chair every night. He’s a keeper.”
I couldn’t believe it. I started to cry. She walked over to me and said
“Oh no baby, don’t cry. What’s wrong? Its a good thing.”
Amidst the sniffling and sobbing, I stopped and said
“It’s not that. It just sucks to know that I finally found a good man and I’m basically about to die and he has to see me like this.”
She leaned in and gave me a hug. As she pulled away she said
“I hear you sweetie but look at the bright side. He’s still here. He is not obligated to and he could have run but he’s here. Focus on that.”
She was right. But all my mind could think of was, how much longer till he wouldn’t show up anymore.
———————————————— Enjoying Part 2? Great! Please leave a comment when you are done. It keeps me going. Thanks! ————————————————
“You made this?”
“Denzel, you actually made this???”
He nodded again and said
“I told you to stop doubting meeeee”
I was shocked. Y’all won’t believe me when I say this but it was fire. Like even better than mine.
He cooked it perfectly. The seasoning, the sliminess and the meat was soooo tender. I was truly impressed. He admitted buying the poundo yam from the Nigerian restaurant downtown, I wasn’t mad at it. I had just washed my hand off when the doctor walked into the room.
Frankly, I appreciated the fact that he wasn’t trying to make small talk because I did not even want it. He asked how I was and if the nurses had come to check on me which I told him they had.
Denzel went to sit down as the doctor began talking. He said
“So Leila as the surgery progressed, we noticed that it would have been more damaging to make the cut that we had initially discussed. So based on the recommendation of the chief of surgery, we aborted the surgery and took some tissue graft and sewed your uterus. There is no guarantee how durable it will be in the long run but I wanted to let you know that with the right diet and medication, you should be fine.”
Have you ever really had a moment where your head was spinning and all you could hear was a ringing sound? Like the sound was distant but also right there? That was where I went. I left the room. It wasn’t until I heard.
“Leila, Leila, can you hear me?”
I slowly came back into reality. My first words were
“So does that mean I can have children?”
The doctor straightened himself, glad he finally got through to me and said
“The possibility is there; although, I would advise against it because it could potentially be dangerous for you and or the child. Let’s start with getting you back to full health and then the journey of the rest of your life will continue.”
The doctor excused himself. Denzel just sat down. I think he was trying to give me space. He asked from his seat
“Are you okay?”
I quietly mumbled
“Don’t worry we’ll figure this out.”
I am not sure why but I snapped
“Figure this out? I am 28 years old. Single. Unmarried and now I may not be able to have children and everyone keeps telling me it will be okay? How is it going to be okay Denzel? How?! I want to have a family. A home. With kids running all around it.”
My voice peaked higher as I yelled to hold back the tears
“I want to be a better mother than my mom was! I want my own kids. I want mine! Don’t you want kids?”
At the exact moment he stood up to answer, the door opened, it was one of the nurses coming to check on what was going on. Denzel stood up and from his coat, a pill bottle fell and perfectly rolled towards the door. The nurse noticed it and stopped it with her foot while bending down to pick it up. Denzel’s words sailed into the room. He said
“No Leila. No I don’t want to have kids.”
I froze. My eyes turned to Denzel. Denzel was looking at the nurse. The nurse held up the pill bottle and read it. Then said out loud
“Are you giving these to her?”
Denzel shook his head. Walked up to her with his hand outstretched to collect his pills. I asked
“What pills are those Denzel?”
He turned around and said
“Don’t worry about them. You don’t need the stress.”
I persisted as the nurse stood glued in place.
“Tell me Denzel”
He looked at me with sadness in his eyes and said
“I struggle with bipolar disorder and anxiety. These are my pills that I take everyday.”
The nurse’s face said it all. What The Heck Man!
~We didn’t quite get 20 comments last week, let’s see if we can do that this week and drop Part 3 early!~
End of Part 2. Please leave a comment below or on social media!
“I am so tired.
I am tired. I don’t need any encouraging words or “it will get better”
I am tired.
For the last 10 days, I have been dealing with family stuff as someone has been unexpectedly and worryingly sick in my immediate family.
Putting on a strong face and trying to keep it all together but dying inside.
I am so stressed. I want to cry every day but I feel like I am too strong. I need to be strong to hold it all together.
Parking was a fucking shit show this morning because of stupid construction happening in the fucking high of the day!
Took me over an hour to park. I hate everyone and everything.
My parents lied!
They promised me, forced me to get stupid degrees and promised to pay my student loans.
I make enough but the costs never stop.
Like that was money I was still thinking I would use to buy the rest of the shit I need for Nigeria or even pay for lodging!
I just want to close my eyes and everything ends.
I am tired.
I don’t want to feel all this pain.
I don’t want to be strong.
Don’t fucking know why I am typing this to you but idk.
FUCK THIS SHIT!”
I hit send on the text message, placed my phone to the side of my bed and I closed my eyes.
Seconds later, my mind was racing. I was filled with remorse and regretting even opening up.
I wanted to pick up my phone but this was not WhatsApp, this message was not getting deleted or erased.
The sunlight beamed through the blinds as I woke up. I picked up my phone and looked at the notification panel.
Fuck! How did I sleep for so long?
I sluggishly got up, weaving through my notifications and apps, I ignored my bible app reminder and went straight for my iMessage.
As I pulled it up, I noticed that my message from the night before had been read four hours prior but no reply.
“Tobi, where are you?”
I heard him chuckle over the phone and he replied
“Chill, I’m coming”
I growled and snapped back
“Tobi, you said you have been coming since morning. If you couldn’t come, you should have just told me and I would have found a way to come and get it.
Where are you now, so I can come and get it?”
I could tell my anger took him by surprise as he said
“I’m already on my way to you. I’m bringing it”
He snarled back.
Click. The call was over.
The next roughly 15minutes were sooo annoying!
One thing I hate more than anything else is being made to wait.
I needed that bag and what is more annoying is that I gladly would have gone to get it myself.
But here I was waiting on someone who didn’t see the urgency in what I needed.
When he pulled up, I opened the door and let him in.
His first words didn’t help because I was doing everything within my power to not snatch my purse from him.
He smiled and said
“Why are you so angry?”
I took a deep breath and said
“Tobi, give me my purse”
He started trying to play hookie with me by running around the coffee table in the center of my living room.
I was so angry and I charged at him.
He ducked and turned around the couch, he was now standing between the couch and my dining table.
I stopped to catch my breath and I said
“Tobi, please give me my purse. I am tired abeg”
He smiled and started walking towards me with his hands behind his back, both on my purse.
I walked towards him and we were soon standing within inches of each other.
He leaned in and tried to kiss me.
I weaved and moved my head as I said
“Tobi stop. Just please give me my purse. I’m really tired”
He smirked and said
“Not giving it to you until you give me a kiss”
I turned around to walk away. I was boiling inside.
He tried to grab my forearm as I turned away. In one swoop, I swung around and smacked his hand.
There was a look of pure shock on his face, he clearly didn’t think I was going to hit him that hard.
He pulled his hand out and stretched my purse towards me.
I collected it and sluggishly walked into the room.
I opened the bag and began shuffling in the purse for what I was looking for.
I couldn’t find it.
I couldn’t fucking find it!
My eyes were getting cloudy and my heart was racing. I turned the contents of the purse on to the bed.
A parking ticket I had been putting off was amongst the contents. I hissed as I rummaged through the bag still looking for the item.
I could feel my breath leaving me.
I got up and went towards my bedside desk. Opening the drawer, I started looking for it there.
I walked back to the bed and sat down.
At this point, the tears were coming down my face.
I was afraid.
My mind went blank. The last time I saw it, I was putting it into my purse.
So where could it have gone?
I stood up to head into the living room. As I stood up, I felt my legs give way and I slumped with the back of my head catching the corner of my bed.
The last thing I heard was Tobi bursting into my room.
I saw his legs as he bent next to me and lifted my head into his arms.
He kept calling my name.
I was slowly forgetting mine.
My eyes shut.
“Do you know when the last time she took her medication was?”
Those were the first words I heard as I was getting wheeled into the emergency room. There was no way Tobi could have known.
As they parked the bed, the doctors tried to ask me some questions. I roughly remember what I said.
Soon there was a drip going into my forearm and I felt myself drifting off again. The last thing I remember was motioning weakly to Tobi who was sitting next to me, he rode up and stood over me.
I sheepishly whispered
He looked confused. I whispered again
When I woke up about 5hours later, Tobi and Kamal were sitting on opposite sides of the bed, flanking me.
I could feel the tension between them. It was like a cloud over the open bed space.
Tobi must have used my Face ID to get into my phone which was what I expected anyways and Kamal, while worried about me, must have not understood why Tobi was there.
I slowly sat up and said
“Have you two met?”
Tobi shook his head and said
“I just called him like you asked”
My lips were chapped and my throat was dry. I swallowed hard and said
I looked over at Kamal and smiled before continuing
“I told you to call Kamal because he knew my medication and would have been able to tell the doctors”
Kamal jumped in and said
“Yes, I told them already and they gave you a drip and a refill, you should be good to leave here later tonight or tomorrow if you want”
I slid back into the bed.
I could tell that Tobi was dying inside, I could see it on his face. He didn’t know why I fainted and here I was asking another man to come and meet us at the hospital. But, I was not about to explain at that time. I was too weak.
He tried to hold it together for a bit and then he said
“Hey- So I have to go and take care of some work stuff.
Will you let me know when you get discharged?”
He leaned in gave me a hug and then that “man” nod to Kamal before walking out.
As he walked out, I turned to look at Kamal.
He smiled without saying anything. I asked
He smiled and said
“Nothing o. You just know how to pick them”
Slightly embarrassed, I replied
“I didn’t even do anything”
He smiled even more and said
“Yeah right, you never do”
He continued and said
“How are you feeling? I was worried when I got the call”
I looked down on the bed and said
“I’m fine to be honest, I just didn’t take my meds because I couldn’t find them.
But I’m good honestly”
“Are you sure?”
I nodded and said
“You know me, I’m good”
He said okay and then he asked
“Are we still on for this weekend, now that you have decided to put me in a death scare”
“Ori e” – translates to “Your head” before continuing to say
“Honestly, I should be good with a day of rest and icing my head. I think I hit it on the bed when I fell.
Hurts like a MF”
He replied and said
“Lmaooooo its because your head is so big”
If I could have punched him, I totally would have.
As we pulled up to the venue, I noticed that he still had his drink in the door of the car.
“You’re supposed to have finished drinking that already?”
He smiled, picked up the bottle and downed what was left of it. I knew it was going to be a good night.
We walked to the venue and I suggested that we grab drinks before the show started.
We snuck into the connected bar and sat by the bar.
His eyes kept wandering as he was amazed by the setup. There were video games everywhere.
We ordered our drinks and I saw him googling “Mario Kart games on PlayStation 4”. Such a big kid.
I asked the bartender to surprise me with my drink and I think he ordered a Red Bull.
We took our drinks and headed into the venue, the show was about to start.
As we approached the door, we got stopped and were told to get our tickets at the box office. So we walked all the way back to the front, got the tickets and then headed in.
I could tell how handsome he looked by the stank eyes most of the ladies flashed at me. He kept beaming that smile behind me and I was all here for it.
We sat right next to each other but he turned my seat, so my back was to him and we faced the stage.
The entire show, bar when he was on his phone, his hands were on my bum.
I couldn’t wait for us to get out of there.
The show was fun. Lots of laugh, improv nights are always my favorite.
We walked out talking about threesomes – we had seen a lady with a beautiful butt. So beautiful.
I can’t remember who suggested it but we ended up at a club, a few drinks and fist pumping, I was ready to go. I had wanted to jump his bones since I picked him up at the airport.
As we walked out, I noticed this white girl who had come up to me in the club.
She was sitting down on the floor with a cup of ice.
“What happened? You left me in there”
She was so drunk and even attempting to respond to me, she knocked over her cup of ice and she looked so distraught. I felt bad but I rushed out of there so quick!
We made it to the car and I couldn’t wait to get us home. He was playing music and we were having a great time in the car and then he asked
“How far away from the house are we?”
I nonchalantly replied
“About 5 minutes”
He smiled and once we hit a red light, he leaned over and kissed me.
Then he slid his left hand up my skirt. I couldn’t concentrate.
My legs started shaking and my breathing short. He slid my panties to the side and began rubbing my clit.
I was squirming while trying to keep the car steady.
What the fuck?
I could feel the chills rising up my back. I wanted to close my eyes and let go but we were almost home.
I remember veering out of my lane and my car beeping to alert me.
I was alert alright, my pussy was ready for a beating.
To cap it off, he removed his hand, looked at me and licked my juices off his fingers.
As we pulled in the parking lot, I quickly parked.
I could hear Lil Wayne’s verse on The Motto playing in the background as he reclined my seat.
He leaned in as if he was about to kiss me. I was wrong.
He reached up my skirt and pulled my panties down.
Kissed me on the forehead and hopped out of the car.
I was soooooooo angry!
I gathered myself, pulled my skirt down and hopped out of the car.
There he was standing in the middle of the parking lot, all 6’3 260lbs of him. His left hand was to his face.
As I got closer, I realized he was holding my panties to his nose.
We entered my apartment and he sat down on the couch, I made him a drink and pulled down his pants.
I was ready to go.
His moans were my favorite part. His hands running through my hair as he cursed and told me
“This is the best head ever”
My inner thot smiled.
I stroked and slurped down his shaft, soaking his balls and drinking on to my leather couch.
I wanted all of him deep in my throat and in my guts.
He tried to fight it but wasn’t very successful.
He went silent as I stroked his dick with my left hand and juggled his balls with my right hand.
He pushed me off and walked me back to the room.
He climbed on the bed and laid on his back.
I climbed on the bed and planted my pussy on his face before leaning forward and taking in his dick – 69.
It was wet on both ends of the coast as we feasted on each other.
He pushed me off as I came and was about to lean into me, there is a full length mirror at the foot of my bed, I caught a glimpse of myself.
As I laid down, I spread my legs wide. He lowered his member into me and started slow.
Cupping my head in his hand and protecting it from the head board, he thrust in and out.
The pace picked up and my profanity did as well.
He was hitting it right.
His grip on my thighs was as hot as the depths his dick was exploring.
I could see the hunger in his eyes.
He pounded me like candied yams. I was loving it.
When he flipped me over, I was ready.
I arched my back and tooted my ass towards him. He smiled and slide into me.
I could still feel how wet his balls were as they slammed into my clit.
He grabbed the shit out of my waist and he went to work. It was as if we hadn’t seen each other in 3 months.
He kept at it and so did I, throwing it back like a third draft of a senior thesis.
I could feel welling up and getting ready with his canon.
So I wrapped my legs around his butt.
He was leaning all the way into me, I was almost falling off the bed as he pounded my pleading pussy.
I wanted it. More of it.
All of it.
He didn’t stop.
I wouldn’t let him stop.
Just as he was about to let go, I looked back, damn near from the floor and yelled
“Fill me up”
Moaned and pumped me full of his warm seed.
I lay there for a few minutes as he curled up next to me panting for air.
I turned over and said
“Where are my panties?”
He smiled and said
“You’re never getting them back”
It was going to be a long weekend and I was going to enjoy every minute of it.
I rolled over in the bed as he got up and headed to the bathroom.
The lights went on and then he said
“The condom broke”
Welcome to my first series of 2019! Expect a lot more this year. That’s all I’m saying.
Oh also, please leave me a comment and share your thoughts. Thanks!
Hey there! If this is your first exposure to my series Lipstick Stain, you definitely need Part 1. Read it by clicking here. Enjoy and we’ll see you back! 🤗
My hands were shaking.
My throat became very dry. I could not believe my eyes.
She was just laying there.
I couldn’t think of what to do next. It’s like I was shaking in place and frozen at the same time.
I wanted to move but I couldn’t.
Trust me, it is nothing like in the movies. There was no dramatic music or some crazy rush of blood within me.
I just stood there.
Slowly, I began to come to myself. All of this must have been four to five minutes but it literally felt like a decade.
I suddenly got the urge to sit down on the bathroom floor. My eyes continuing to scan the room.
I began to think,
“What happened last night?
Did we get into that big of a fight?
….why would I shoot my wife?”
I was playing her last words in my head. I started to cry.
The tears slowly rolling down my cheeks.
It was really starting to hit me now.
Lade was gone.
And so was my gun.
Oh shit, my gun!
I wanted to call the police. But I felt like I needed to make sense of everything.
So I ran back to the living room and grabbed my phone.
And dialed my best friend Desmond’s number. He picked up on the second ring.
I lifted the phone to my left ear and said
“D – something crazy just happened.
Come to my house right now”
Concerned, he replied
“Guy you good?
I smelled hard and said
“D – abeg get here asap. I need you”
Even more concerned, he replied
“Aight bet. I’m on my way”
I lowered my phone and immediately lifted it up to call the police.
As I began dialing, the unexpected happened.
Lade muttered something
“Akin, help me”
I was so shocked, I didn’t realize the call had gone through.
I quickly canceled it and ran to her.
I knelt down by her side and said
“Babe, are you okay?”
Can you hear me?????
….Baby, I’m here. Stay with me… Help is coming”
She was trying to tell me something.
“Lade, don’t say anything.. I am getting help”
I quickly grabbed my phone and called our hospital.
“Hello, this is Mr. Olaoluwa, I need an ambulance to 56 Hopeville Crescent, Nikon Estate.
Please hurry, my wife has been badly wounded”
Yes, I didn’t mention how she was wounded because let’s not forget that we were dealing with the Nigerian Police force.
I had to control the narrative.
I sat there with my wife until the ambulance came. I was holding her hand until they rushed in and grabbed her.
As they placed her on the gurney and moved her to the back of the ambulance, I wanted to climb in. They told me not to.
Instead, I was asked to meet them at the hospital.
Distraught, I rushed into the house to change my clothes and grab my car keys.
As I made it into my room, I heard Desmond’s voice call out.
“Akins (my nickname) where you dey?”
“I dey room, my brother”
He rushed over and opened the door.
He started saying
“Guy, you good? You got me hella worried…”
His sentence trailed off when out of the corner of his eye, he noticed the blood in the bathroom and the blood-soaked carpet with my footprints.
His face was washed with a mixture of concern and fear as he said
“Akin, what happened?”
I kicked off my shoes and without looking up, I replied
“I’ll explain in the car”
“Guy, that’s what happened…
..I still can’t even explain it”
I concluded the story as Desmond drove us to the hospital.
“Like, all I remember is that I went to the Nkwobi joint and I got a few drinks and I headed home. I don’t even remember doing anything else.
I at least remember laying on the couch but that is about it honestly.
Like everything feels like a dream bro, a very bad dream.”
I paused, then I said
“…bro, I legit thought she was dead yo. Like I don’t even know man”
Without taking his gaze away from the road, Desmond said
“This is crazy bro. I don’t even know what to say.
Like why would anyone want to hurt Lade? Or you guys?
This shit doesn’t make any fucking sense”
I just shook my head in response, I was still looking for words.
We pulled into the hospital and made our way into the lobby.
The receptionist asked
“How may I help you?”
“My name is Mr OlaOluwa, my wife was just rushed in a little while ago”
She looked down at her computer and said
“May I see some identification, please?”
I tapped my pocket instantly to pull my wallet and I remembered I had left it in the car.
“Oh it’s in the…”
Before I could finish my sentence, the door opened and our private doctor, Dr. Mensah walked in.
“Stella, let him through.”
She smiled sheepishly as I approached the doctor.
He shook my hand and continued
“She is in surgery already.
The surgeons are hopeful but it’s tricky. She had lost a lot of blood before she made it here.
What really happened?… Come over this way, let’s talk in my office”
He motioned to Desmond and I.
As we walked to his office, I spoke
“I met her like that this morning doc. I myself don’t even know what happened.
I slept on the sofa.
But I don’t know, I would have heard if someone had come in while I was sleeping and I remember locking the door. I don’t even know”
We sat down as the doctor was exploring the options with us when we heard a knock on the door.
He replied and said
“Come in, please”
The door opened and three policemen let themselves in.
One that appeared to be senior spoke first and said
“We are here to see Mr. Olaoluwa.”
I turned and said
“Yes, that’s me”
He continued and said
“My name is Sergeant Dosunmu from Area 14 Jakande police station. We have some questions regarding the shooting of your wife.
We will like you to come down to our station for some questions and to give a statement”
I didn’t even argue, although Desmond was about to.
I thanked the doctor and said
“Doc, thank you for your help. Please keep me posted.
D- abeg call my lawyer. Tell him to meet me there”
The ride to the police station was weird.
I wasn’t nervous because I hadn’t done anything, I think I was concerned because, like I mentioned before, this was the Nigerian police.
The whole thing could have gone in many different directions.
I just kept thinking about Lade.
As we sat down in the interrogation room, the sergeant first started speaking to me.
“Sir, tell us what really happened”
I sat up and I said
“I woke up this morning and I noticed my wife in a pool of her own blood.
That is all I remember”
The sergeant and the other policeman in the room looked at each other and said
“That is all you remember?
Don’t you live in the same house with your wife?
Did somebody come into your house and shoot her without your knowledge?
Sir, tell us the truth. What really happened?”
Slightly annoyed and confused, I responded
“What do you mean?
I just told you everything”
The second officer came closer to the table and said
“If you tell us the truth, we can help you. That is why we are here.
The police is your friend”
I scoffed and said
“I told you everything. Why would I want to kill my wife?”
The sergeant replied
“Maybe you were cheating on her?
You know how you young men in Lagos are. You cannot stay in one place and keep it in your pants.
Or maybe you fought each other? Or maybe she was the one sleeping around?”
I growled at that statement and postured forward.
Instantly he said
“Calm down jare, we are just doing our job”
I took a deep breath and said
“Look, gentlemen, I love my wife. I was not cheating on my wife. We just got married six months ago for crying out loud.
We love each other and we go through things like any couple but why would I want her dead?
Besides if I shot her, wouldn’t I have left her to die instead of calling for help?
We had a small fight yesterday but it was over nothing serious. At least not serious enough to shoot somebody”
The second officer, I never quite got his name, pounced on my last statement but laughed first and said
“So you and your wife fought?!
Why did you fight? Money?
You cheated? IDP go tell you, people for this Lagos dey marry and cheat o. ”
I was about to answer when the door opened.
My lawyer, Mr. Ezebuike walked in.
He didn’t make eye contact with me but he said
“Unless my client is under arrest for something, we are leaving”
The sergeant said
“No he is not. He was just telling us how he shot his wife over money.
How much was the money? Let us see your account.”
My lawyer chuckled and said
“By himself, he is worth over 100 million naira. Not even including what his family owns and what he stands to inherit when his father passes.
Gentlemen, I trust you are doing your job but my client is not a suspect, so we are leaving now.
If you need access to the residence or anything else, please feel free to call me anytime.”
He motioned to me and I stood up.
We walked out of the station.
As we walked towards his car, he did not say anything.
Once we got to the car. He placed his hands on the hood and looked at me.
“I am going to ask you two questions. I trust you will be completely honest with me”
I nodded and he said
“How are you and did you shoot your wife?”
I looked at him square in the face and said
“I am still in shock and no, I did not shoot my wife”
He didn’t say anything else as he lowered himself into his car, then he spoke and said
“We need to figure out who did”
Pulling into the hospital, the sun was beginning to set.
I was still able to spot some familiar cars as I made it in.
As my lawyer and I walked into the lobby, Desmond and some notable faces were there.
Lade’s parents were there along with her younger sister and half-sister.
I approached them and greeted them.
I did not get the slightest sense they thought I would harm their daughter whom they knew I loved so much.
“Akin, how are you holding up?”
Lade’s father asked me
“Chief, I honestly don’t know. This is all still a shock to me.
It feels like a dream”
He placed his hand on my shoulder and said
“All will be well.”
That was him in a nutshell. He was never too flustered.
I liked that about him and hoped to be like that one day.
I can’t remember what was being said when the doctor and someone who appeared to be a surgeon walked out.
We had been sitting there for about 3 hours.
He approached me and said
“Sir, can we speak to you in private please?”
I stood up and said
“It’s okay, these are her parents and siblings. You can tell us what is going on”
The surgeon spoke and said
“Thankfully, we were able to retrieve the bullet fragments lodged inside her.
She is stable although in an induced coma. We expect her to recover. She is very lucky to be alive at all. Especially with the amount of blood she lost and how long she was there.
We also have to check for brain damage due to the lack of oxygen to the brain that may have occurred while she was laying there.
Like I said, she is medically stable and we hope for the best.
But sir, she lost the baby.”
All I could hear was air. Like air pressure in a plane.
I sunk to my knees. My eyes welled with tears and I coughed up the words. I asked
“She was pregnant?”
Her mom, hysterical and in tears jumped in and grabbed me to hold me up, while she said to the doctors
“He didn’t know yet”
I looked up to her. My eyes filled with tears as I wailed and said
She nodded sheepishly.
My heart completely shattered.
LEAVE ME A COMMENT ABOUT HOW YOU FEELING OR WHAT YOU THOUGHT ABOUT THIS PART.
I could feel the heat in my ears.
Also in my fingertips. It felt like someone was standing behind me and forcefully pushing down on my shoulders. It just felt like a weight was on my shoulders and I couldn’t breathe.
We were sitting at one of the restaurants in the airport, I can’t remember what it’s called but I wasn’t paying much attention to anything else.
My mind was racing and back to a familiar place. A place I had hoped getting on a plane would keep away from – for good.
“So Dee, I didn’t want us to meet like this but I am glad that I was able to reach you before you got on that plane.
I know you must have a million questions and I promise, I am here to answer them all.
I am tired of having to keep you in the dark”
I just sat there silently.
Sandra pushed the cold bottle of water that she had just bought towards me.
I didn’t even look up. My eyes were fixed on a chip in the tile.
It truly felt like if I opened my mouth, it would be a watershed of tears.
With my left hand, I reached for the bottle and twisted the cap open.
I took two full gulps before I looked up and said
“I don’t even know the questions I should start with…”
He straightened up and then said
“I completely understand… how about this?
I’ll start with the things that I think you need answers to and you can fill in?
How does that sound?”
I nodded without making eye contact.
He started and said
“I have known your mother since we were in university and before she met your father, we were very much in love.
But we had different life goals at the time. I wanted to move to Ethiopia to work for Shell and your mother wanted to teach. Everything happened very fast and before I knew it, she was off to the States with your father.
I never even got the chance to stop her. She was gone.
And I had to settle with that for 6 years, until they moved back to Nigeria with you.
We met up and at first, I was just glad that she was back and I was able to spend time with her.
I very quickly noticed that she was still in love with me and I never stopped loving her anyway.
One thing led to another and we were sleeping together and basically living our lives outside of our marriages… yes I briefly got married but it didn’t last because I was not in love with her.
I loved and I still love your mother very much. “
I looked up with a scowl on my face and said
“So why didn’t both of you just get divorces? And save us all the pain”
He looked down and sighed before saying
“We should have. I totally know we should have.
But there are certain things I am not able to speak about. She has to be the one to tell you much of what happened”
Sandra placed her hand on my lap and said
“Dee, are you okay?”
I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. I just kept my head down and continued crying.
She moved in and hugged me tightly. It just set me off even more.
Out of the corner of my eyes, I could see people worriedly looking on, trying to decipher what was going on.
This went on for a couple of minutes and then I stopped.
I looked at him and said
“I need to talk to my mom”
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So this is all to say, please leave me a comment when you read something. I am open to criticism as well. It’s the best reward a writer gets. Thank you all. Now back to this captivating story!
After more than an hour in traffic, we pulled into our home.
I think all our workers were surprised to see me coming back so soon.
“Oga wetin happen?”
I just ignored and walked into the house. There were people there.
Two of my mom’s childhood friends, and they immediately smiled when they saw me.
One of them, Aunty Dolapo brightly said
“Dee baby! Look at you all grown up.
You’re a big man now. I remember when I used to cradle you to sleep. See you now!”
As she rubbed my back.
I sheepishly smiled as my mom greeted Sandra
“Ehn, bawoni Sandra” (translates to how is it going?)
She knelt in courtesy to my mom and my aunts.
As she rose, the main door quietly closed. Everyone including my mom looked towards the direction of the hallway that connects the main entrance and the sitting room.
My mom curiously asked
“Did you guys close the door when you entered?”
I didn’t answer.
I knew what was about to happen. She wasn’t ready and somehow I was happy about that.
The hallway was dimly lit and connected a few rooms, so the image was going to come as a surprise.
A few moments passed and there he was.
My mother’s lover.
As he emerged, she gasped. They all gasped.
Not because they didn’t know who he was but because they were surprised he was there.
They all knew who he was from their time in college.
And I would later find out that they knew about them sleeping together for more than two decades!
My mom found the words and said
“Lamide, what are you doing here?”
He didn’t respond as he took a few more steps into the room.
A quick glance around the room and you could pick up the jaws of my mother’s friends off the ground.
They couldn’t believe what was happening.
Ki lo wa se ni bi????”
She screamed at him.
He didn’t flinch and he moved closer. Then he said
“I didn’t think it was right for him to leave like that. You can’t push him away because your world is changing. He deserves all the love he can get.”
She snapped, and you could tell she was trying to hide something.
“Who are you to tell me what I can and cannot do???
Who gave you the right?!”
He took a step back.
“Who gave you the right?!”
I stepped in and said
“Here I was thinking I was the fucked up one. I have attempted suicide. Wanting for the whole thing to end. Yet here you were with secrets so big that they have killed people for less.
You are evil.
You tried to ruin my world when you were living a lie! And you go to church and mount the pulpit like some holy person. You are fucking evil!
I wish my father could look into your eyes and see how much you lied to him and cheated on him for years!
Gosh I hate you!”
As I wrapped up. She quietly laughed amidst her tears and said
I didn’t hear her properly so I asked
She looked up teary eyed and sniffling as she said
I was shocked but she continued and said
“He always knew.
This was always his idea. Your father was a dog when I met him.
He wanted to be with anything, man, woman or whatever. I had to keep his secret and the whole marriage was a cover!
For many years, I had to pretend to love him and be happy. I couldn’t anymore. So I decided to be with someone who actually makes me happy.
And your father knew about the whole thing… It was all his idea”
I couldn’t believe her so I asked
“So why didn’t you just get a divorce?”
She laughed and said
“Omode lo n se e
(Your naivety is evident)
We didn’t get divorced because your father never wanted a divorce. He wanted to keep his ministry and getting a divorce would break that. And yes, more than accusations of him sleeping with men.
After all, there are men of god who lay with other men or people’s wives”
I was fully enraged at this point.
I started yelling
“So you and your husband had a plan to live your lives but you crucify me for being myself.
For something I am not even able to control?????
You are both devils. OMG!
I can’t even believe this shit…. Arghhhhh I wish I could strangle you!
I pray you rot in hell. You are wicked.”
Olamide stepped in and said
“Dayo, I know you are upset but we don’t need to say all that”
I turned to him and said
He put his hands out and moved them as if to try and calm me.
I continued and said
“Why do you even care?!
She had you in the shadows for 22 years! And you are okay with that?”
He smiled and said
“I had to keep her close. It was the only way I could stay close to my son”
My mom screamed
My jaw dropped. Both my aunts sitting gasped and Sandra just stood shocked.
I moved forward and said
He straightened up and said
“You are my son”
I shot a look at my mom and she couldn’t hide her face fast enough. More tears flowed down her cheeks.
I looked at my mother and said
“What is he talking about?”
She dropped her head and said
“Your father couldn’t have children!
It was part of what made him live so recklessly. I wanted children. I thought I loved him and when I found out I was pregnant, I didn’t even try to debate it.
He always knew you might not be his but he was willing to go along with the lie because it protected us”
I couldn’t believe the words coming out of her mouth.
He spoke next
“I knew something was off by how quickly your mother married him and how they ran to Boston.
I think she was pregnant and her family would have killed her. So she married the man that was ready and moved with him.
When I first set my eyes on you, I knew you were mine.
I was just glad God brought you back to me. I have always loved you from afar.”
“Yet you watched me suffer for years in the hands of this woman?
Some father you are”
I snarled back and stormed out.
Sandra followed me and soon we were gone.
It had been three years since that day.
I hadn’t spoken to anyone in that room that day except Sandra.
And I was living in Virginia now.
One evening, I logged into Facebook after a long day of work.
I had so many friend requests, many of which I continue to ignore. As I was scrolling through, I clicked on the messages tab and noticed a few messages.
One of them was from Micah – remember him?
The deacon from way back.
Apparently, he had messaged me a few days before I opened the message.
He had won the visa lottery.
He was coming to America.
I don’t know why, but I smiled at the laptop and a soft voice said
“Babe, what is making us laugh?”
I moved my laptop to the couch with my left hand as she straddled me.
“One of my childhood mentors is coming to America and wants to stay with us”
She smiled and said
“Oh thats dope. How long?
They can stay in the guest bedroom”
I nodded as she kissed me and said
“Look at us making adult decisions.”
I chuckled and she said
“Would this be before or after the wedding?”
while getting up and heading for the kitchen.
She stopped, turned and said
“Ooooh, so I’ll already be your wifey. “
I nodded and said
“Yes you will”
She did a shimmy dance with a huge smile on her face as she walked out.
I turned to my right and saw the stack of wedding invitations we were about to mail out and only one thing came to my head.
Please help pick my next series!
Pleaseeeeeeee leave me a comment and let me know how you felt about this part and the entire series. It means a lot!
Thank you for reading the #BGW series with me! I thoroughly enjoyed writing it for you all and I hope you enjoyed the ride with me. If you hate me for how the ending panned out, I AM HERE FOR IT~ 😊
I called you, twice It kept ringing No answer The next time we talk It will be over The story The movie Battery, dead Love? Left.
Unpacked & Abandoned.
You ever moved to a new place and as you are planning to leave the current place, you decide that certain things won’t go with you?
The old bed frame, that broken toaster, the deadbeat partner? 👀
Unpacking is a cornerstone of growth and change.
Sometimes we don’t actively recognize that but it is so important.
The mind is like a train, things come in and get off, some come on and never get off. There is so much that will influence you in life but not all of it needs to enter your next phase with you.
Recently, I started thinking about the things that I have experienced in my past that I still carry around with me and how they could be affecting my future.
Yes, he cheated on you or you let her walk all over you.
Unpack that and set it down, so you can thrive.
Many of us allow those interactions/experiences/moments define us going forward. It is important to cherish some things in the now but let them go.
Why are you always worried about what he might do to hurt you?
Why do you always get defensive when women get close?
Have you seriously unpacked the things that you carry?
For the first few years after my relationship, I couldn’t imagine feeling the amount of love that put me at risk of getting as hurt as I did.
I actively avoided anything that will allow me to fall that hard for someone. In some cases, I would blatantly self-sabotage myself to prevent chances of being hurt.
I had to stop once and ask myself, why do you keep carrying that around?
The annoying thing with unpleasant things you haul around is that it is sometimes the first thing new people see when they meet you.
In the second conversation, your hurt, doubts, and insecurities start showing and he/she wants to run as far away from you as possible.
And the part that sucks the most is that it is so far away from who you really are.
Set some time aside, the things you have seen or been through are all very valid but they should not govern your life and your path forward.
What are the good things? Note them and cherish them.
Everything else? Let them go.
It is not enough to unpack.
When you take your stuff to Goodwill or Salvation Army to donate, you don’t later go back to buy it.
It takes intentionality to thrive and move forward.
You need to make it a daily choice to bask in your greatness. You have let go of the “waste”, now focus on the great.
Most people will reckon that packing can be difficult because you don’t know what you will need where you are going.
It is much easier after a trip to know what you don’t need for the next one. So toss it.
Abandon it, you will be better for it.
#WordsOfWednesday #WTHM #TheRantsShow
Black.Gay.Waiting Part 4 out on Saturday!
Please watch this space!
Thank you for reading and commenting. You are highly appreciated.
Our house was probably more silent than the morgue in the following weeks after my father’s passing.
My mother didn’t cry much. I was really surprised, that was always how she was.
Funny enough, my father was always the emotional leader of the home. He was very in tune with feelings around the home.
I remember once when my “friend” had a birthday party and invited the entire block but not me.
I sobbed all day in my party outfit.
My plan was to crash the party but my mother shut that down. I was not going to be out there embarrassing my family.
Notice any patterns?
That evening, my father came into my room. He was fully clothed in his all white agbada, I was only 13 and he sat with me and played video games all evening till I passed out in my outfit.
That was my father.
He always had my back, even when I was unsure and just out of it.
And I loved him dearly for it.
So you can imagine losing him under the circumstances that we did.
I was crushed.
I stayed up in my room as the funeral planning went on.
The church was handling much of it and my mother was just in the house with no one feeling confident enough to approach her.
It was about 4am in the morning when I heard a car honk.
A few minutes later, I heard the doors open and voices became more pronounced.
At first, I thought it was more people coming to pay their respects but it didn’t make sense for them to be there that early.
Shortly after, I heard a mild knock on my door.
The door swung open and it was one of my mother’s cousins. I barely sat up when she said
“You have guests. Mummy wants you”
I felt my heart skip a beat. My mother had not spoken to me since that day at the church.
I wasn’t sure what was going on but I slowly got up.
Slipping into my clothes, I headed down the stairs.
When I arrived at the living room, I noticed it was filled with about 15 people. My mother was sitting in the big chair that my father used to sit in.
Her hands between her legs and clad in an all black gown, she barely lifted a brow as I took my seat.
As I scanned the room, I noticed my dad’s cousin to my left.
He lived in Saudi Arabia and the last I heard, he wasn’t in town.
I greeted him and sat with my head bent.
He opened the meeting with greetings before addressing the passing of my dad,
the upcoming funeral and how he wanted things to go moving forward.
“….I know you are still grieving but whether you like it or not, this is your son.
God did not make you a barren woman. He is your responsibility and I have never known you to be one to shelve your responsibilities.
Now the circumstances we find ourselves in are very unique and unexpected but this is still a family.
God gives and He takes how He feels best but He gave you this one and made you guys one. We can only ask for His mercy and guidance because we cannot do it alone or by our reasoning”
He stopped and looked in my direction as he said
“…you are a man.
Regardless of your orientation or preferences. You have to step up and be the man of this house. You have to be there for your mother and be her rock”
This was a man my mother and my entire family greatly respected. He rarely spoke but when he did, people listened.
So it was surprising when my mother blurted out
We had a man of this home. He is a disgrace to this family and to God!”
She was crying as the words left her lips.
I am still not sure how it happened but I stood up and snapped.
“Are you serious?!
Are you being serious right now?
I did everything you asked for a son. I am at the top of my career, I don’t steal or cheat.
I have never brought reproach to your name, but the moment I want the freedom to love who I want, you want to call me a disgrace.
You publicly humiliated me!
Your own fucking son!!!! I am your son first and foremost!
There are people that have sons as murderers that stand by them. But the moment I want to love someone, I am the disgrace?
You are the disgrace! You dragged me in front of the house of God to shame me!
What kind of God do you serve?
Where is that in the bible? Call me a disgrace, in fact exile me!
Once the funeral is over, I am going back to America. You can have your perfect home since you want the whole world to think everything is perfect in here!”
I was standing and the whole room was stunned into silence.
I took a deep breath and said
“Uncle, thank you for your wise words but there is nothing here.
This is not my mother. I am done”
I walked out of the room as he called my name
I just kept walking to my room. I locked the door and curled into the bed.
That night, I missed my father more than ever.
The funeral was as you would expect – big.
There were so many people from all over the world. His church folk, friends from his days at the Rotary Club, high school buddies and just random folks.
Everyone came out to pay their respects.
My mother and I didn’t stand next to each other like you would normally see in movies.
There were a few family members standing between us.
Dressed in all white, my mother said my father would not have liked us in all black, I stood and just counted down the minutes.
It was scorching hot and humid.
The sermon was long and unnecessary.
Tears rolled down my eyes as he was lowered into the ground.
Even more when I poured the dirt on the coffin.
I think it really hit me then that he was gone.
Sandra was right next to me as we turned away and headed to the car waiting for us.
There were traditional drummers singing my “praises” as we walked to the car.
They were expecting a token but all I wanted was my father back.
I got into the back of the car and just stared out of the window.
We went back to the house. Sandra and a few of my other friends were in my room with me while I laid on the bed staring at the ceiling.
What next from here?
I thought to myself.
It was 3 days after the funeral.
And I was packed and ready to go. Sandra was taking me to the airport with her boyfriend Eugene.
All of my suitcases were loaded into the car.
Dimeji walked up to me and said
“Oga, you sure see you wan go like this?
At least wait make mummy come back from where she go with her friend”
I nodded and said
“Oga D, time don reach to day go.
E better like this. No wahala for anybody. Take, use this one by biscuit for Salewa and Timi”
I handed him some money in his right hand while supporting the firm handshake with my left hand.
He pulled me in and gave me a hug.
“We go miss you for here sha.”
He said with a saddened look on his face.
I forced a smile and said
“You know sen even when I day go school for that side, I day always call na.
I go day whatsapp una. “
he nodded and I lowered myself into the car.
Off we went, I remember buying Gala and Fan Yogurt on my way to the airport.
I couldn’t wait to leave all of this behind.
I was lost in thought when I heard Gaga Shuffle come on the radio, I turned and looked at Sandra who had a wry smile across her face.
We started singing as I pulled out my phone to record a snapchat video.
As I watched the playback I said,
“You know I’m going to miss you right?”
She rolled her eyes and said
“You’re going to see me in a few months. Literally less than 3 months!”
I smiled back and said
“But it feels like forever!
You better buy enough plantain chips when you are coming. Otherwise, I am turning you away at the airport!”
She chuckled and said
“Come on, you know I got you always”
We parked the car in the garage and used the trolleys to get my bags to the terminal.
Check-in was fairly smooth but for the waiting in line.
I had weighed all my bags at home and paid for the excess luggage online to save time at the airport.
The attendant asked me
“Where is your final destination?”
She smiled and handed me both of my boarding passes before tagging my bags.
I walked back to Sandra and gave her a long hug.
As I let her go, I said
“You know, I actually have time before we board, we can grab food and chill at that spot”
pointing towards a restaurant.
She smiled and said
“I wish I could but remember I have my fitting for my cousin’s wedding. Have to make it back to the Island”
I nodded and gave her another hug.
She whispered in my ear
“I love you”
“I love you too”
As I let her go and began to walk away, I heard someone call my name
I stopped in my tracks and turned around. It wasn’t Sandra.
She was stopped too, trying to figure out where it came from. I looked to my left and noticed a tall and slim man in a suit approaching me.
I faced him and he smiled before saying
“Hi, sorry to interrupt”
Still puzzled, I shook his outstretched hand.
He smiled again and said
“I know you have questions…”
I then spoke and said
“Please who are you?”
He ignored my question and said
“…I had to stop you because I could not allow you to get on that flight.
You deserve to be here with the people you love. This is your home”
I was even more confused, this man knew my name and seemed to know a bit about what was going on at home.
So I asked
“Please sir, who are you?”
He moved closer and now with a straight face, he replied and said
“I am the man your mother has been in a relationship with for the past 22 years”
Sandra yelled out
I couldn’t believe my ears. This ride was about to get a whole lot messier. PLEASE LEAVE ME A COMMENT BELOW!
What happens next?
Come back for Part 4 next Saturday!
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