Growing up, my mother always made a point to teach us about contentment. We were raised to appreciate what we had – however little it was.
It became a guiding principle. When I graduated college and went into nonprofit work, some of my friends with engineering degrees went into $60,000+ jobs while I made a measly $28,000 per year. I never saw them as better or myself as less than. I have always been financially sound and economical. We took the same vacations and ate at the same places. I was able to contribute always. I was always content with what I had.
This piece has been on my mind for a few weeks now because I have been thinking about contentment from a place of having more than enough. Over the last few years, there has been very little in my life that I have not been able to have. One area of my life that has been easier than others is attraction from women. Sometimes without even trying, I get people that express themselves or want to be with me. It is scary and unnerving.
I can look at a person in my life and say “if I really wanted them, I could have them” It’s been that “easy”. But how does one stay content in abundance? Those weren’t lessons that we were taught as kids or even young adults. So I’ve been having that dialogue with myself internally about what maturity looks like. It’s not always being able to be okay with not having, it’s being okay with having enough.
What is enough you ask? We chase after money, status, growth, promotion, and in many cases, we do it relentlessly. We are encouraged to go beyond what we currently have. Enough is when that internal clock tells you that you shouldn’t be going for that extra. Usually when you are eating, there is something called a satisfaction point. It’s the point before your stomach starts to stretch itself to accommodate that extra spoon of rice. Where eating is no longer for pleasure but out of greed or survival.
Update added on 3/11/2020: Most of this piece was done more than 3weeks ago but something happened last night. I got texts from two people in both situations, there was enough said to make me turn my head. Reconsider. Re-explore. Be discontent. But I am thankful for the thoughts that reminded me to focus on me. What I have and I am building. Staying where I am chosen and not seeking more, the more may seem glamorous but isn’t always so. Contentment is being okay in the unknown but having faith and discernment to hold firm.
Abundance comes with responsibility. Ease of access comes with self-control – in any walk of life. As I grow and morph into better versions of myself, I hope I retain the ability to say no when I don’t even have to ask the thing in question.
Till next time, stay up!
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Thank you for reading!
Please comment, retweet and share. Thank you for your continued support. You are highly appreciated.
Thank you for persevering, for evolving and believing in yourself even when the chips are down. You are gifted, talented and a kind person. Some may read those and think I’m arrogant but after spending much of my adult life doubting and being afraid of my genius, I am reclaiming my slay.
The concept of the man I want to be has been sitting with me lately. People make the jokes about turning 30 soon and getting old or achieving this or that but the truth it, I just want to be a good man. I want to be a man that my friends are proud of, that my parents and family rely on and that God is delighted in.
Earlier this week, I was faced with having an uncomfortable conversation with a friend. Tell the truth and hurt their feelings or be silent and it would blow over. I spoke up. It was still hard but it’s more of the man I want to be. A man of his word even in the most difficult. 29 is about challenging myself to be my best. I will be the man I am proud. Thank you for watching me grow over the last 6-7years. More creativity coming and more of Adewus, The Wordsmith that you will be proud to call your own.
Let’s get it! But before that, let’s review 2019 and project aspects of 2020.
Happy Birthday to Me!
Faith: I started reading my bible again and truly taking my service in his vineyard more serious. We are on the path to redemption and taking my place in my home.
2019 Final Score – C+ 2020 Expected Score – B+
Fitness: I’m back in physical therapy. It will go a long way towards me being whole again. I am also back in therapy, so mind and body will be touched this year. I completed the 75Hard Challenge which was 75 days on a strict regimen. If for that alone, I killed 2019. More to come!
2019 Final Score – B+ 2020 Expected Score – A
Creativity: I need an editor. I have so much written already. To my old editor, I know you will read this. You working with me on this forged a huge part of our friendship as well, let’s actually start our journey back?Y’all should beg my editor to come back o. If you want good and consistent content, they need to come back to full-time work. Seriously.
2019 Final Score – C- 2020 Expected Score – A
Finances: Around this time last year, God blessed me with a nice promotion to kick off the year. It was unexpected. When I was laid-off in June and finished working in June, I was shook and depressed. I had goals! I had things to pay off. So much I wanted to do. It derailed me a bit and that is why the score I have given myself is lower than I expected/projected but I think the thing it most emphasized is the fact that I need to save more and be extra diligent with my planning. God almost doubled my financial blessings last year and I am so grateful. It has already positioned me to be able to do more. I am going to be really aggressive this year. So….
2019 Final Score – C+ 2020 Expected Score – A+
Relationships: I have already committed to doing love right this year. I want to do it without fear, caution or trepidation. Last year hurt. Like my love life was the ghetto – ratatata. I was stressed and unhappy. I am ready this year. First step this year is self-love. I am back in therapy and I am going to take care of me first before opening the door to external love. My biggest prayer is that I am ready for the woman ready to choose me without fear and love me unapologetically.
2019 Final Score – F 2020 Expected Score – B
I will be back to update you on 2020 in 2021 but till we get there, let’s enjoy so much content to blow your mind this year. Remember, you are AMAZING and I will celebrate you and with you all year. Happy Birthday to US!
Thanks for reading as always!
Thank you for commenting. Here is to a fun 2020! You are highly appreciated.
We come to the people that hurt us for healing or decide we won’t move or heal until they validate the hurt they caused us.
Today I had a conversation with an abuser. It was simple. The FaceTime call came in, I answered at the office and the person asked one question.
“How do you know this girl?”
Not “how was work?. How are you?” A woman I had never met before.
The next hour would be spent talking through their feelings, assumptions and perfections of me. Then I stopped. I noticed that my mood had changed, I was upset. Heavy hearted. And then thankfully, I had the presence of mind to remind myself that this wasn’t about me.
Said person had made me doubt myself before, question my purest thoughts and even start to feel like I was unworthy of love. It got me thinking, why do we allow ourselves to go blind to the dangerous things that burned us before? There is a need to continue to litigate our hurt and pain. We want to fully understand, conceptualize, rationalize it and then play chess master in trying to run the game again to this time, avoid the same outcome. It hardly ever works.
Recently, I was exploring a friendship that I have been nurturing in private for almost a year. I started to ask myself recently, why haven’t we argued or fought? What is going on? A part of me was unable to understand why the relationship wasn’t like some of the toxic ones I have had in my past. And then it dawned on me, you have to actively realize that you are deserving of healthy liberating and empowering friendship and love.
Most of my sense of style comes from my father and growing up, he was always very particular about how we treated our clothes. Most especially our church clothes. He would love his shit if he saw us running around in them or not being proper in our Sunday best. He used to say “it is not about the clothes really but some people will stain your clothes; knowingly and unknowingly” Some know that their hands are dirty. Others are unaware but if you allow yourself to continue spending time in spaces that have mud, whether they meant it or not, you will get stained. Leaving the door open to an abuser is a direct bath to misery. Not always because they intend to but because that all they bring to the table.
You don’t kick someone out, change the locks and then give them the new code to your house so they can see how beautiful it is inside.
I’ve been actively running from friendships that don’t bring me peace, ground me while lifting me up. As someone who immensely feels things, “losing” friends can be extremely hard but as I get older and wiser, I am starting to understand the value of protecting my peace. My sanity. My peace of mind. Those things are not “pretty”. They are not always pronounced or easily discoverable like confidence or the glow but they are incredibly important.
It is also important to understand the triggers and the ways we enable abuse in our own lives. We have to take responsibility for it. Most importantly, we have to we have to keep all the negatives out. You don’t kick someone out, change the locks and then give them the new code to your house so they can see how beautiful it is inside. Nobody does that. You are responsible for genuine happiness and growth this 2020. So block her, don’t call him back, delete his album on your phone. Breathe. You got this. Take control of your peace. You will be better for it. Your world will be grateful for it.
Till next time,
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Please comment, retweet and share. Thank you for your continued support. You are highly appreciated.
I remember the two times in my life that I slept through an alarm. The most recent was a couple of years ago after returning from Nigeria. I was so tired and sick but I had planned to go into work the day after I got back (bad idea). I woke up around 3am and I couldn’t go back to sleep. Nothing was working. So I decided to drink some NyQuil. My thoughts were “at least it would knock me out for a few hours”
A few hours turned to waking up at 12pm. My manager in New York had called a few times looking for me and such, I was stunned when I woke up. I stared at my phone and thought it was a mistake. It wasn’t. I fixed the situation by thinking on my feet but damn it got me.
Alarms are annoying. They are loud, obnoxious and necessary. Many times, anything that is a combination of all those things is not typically fancied. They interrupt beautiful unearned but deserved sleep and cut short those dreams of you and Idris Elba or better yet, you and I. Freaking alarms! They however, are the focus of my piece today.
A few days ago, I began to think about how we use alarms in reference to our goals. Many of us ignore the first alarm aka the first opportunity to take a leap at something. Think about it, most of the ideas/goals/dreams/opportunities you have, come from various places but most fail to act the first time. How many times have you thought about that business? Or that trip? That job or that relationship? And how many times have you hit snooze?
Alarms are similar to those goals. We love to ignore the first sound of them, the first time the challenge comes or the first jolt into a new level. We silence it. And even for those that have decided to step up to the challenge, many still don’t. You know how? They set multiple alarms back to back. Basically using them as a safety net. Eventually getting up but taking the long way and ignoring the calls to action.
Imagine not executing because you have placed multiple fail safes along the way. But what happens when you snooze too long and you “oversleep”? Miss your opportunity to get ahead or set the tone? That you take your time and wait but someone else has now executed on your vision or gained more of the market share. Many of us miss out on chances to be great because we ignore the first alarm. The first sound, call to action or simply, the first reminder. Now I am not asking you to jump at everything immediately. There is value in being strategic. But always know this, there is not fatigue felt on the day of victory. I am not like Steve Harvey telling you not to sleep, please enjoy your sleep but remember you are working towards a life where alarms are not annoying but simple reminders of new opportunities for greatness.
Next time you hear the first sound at being great, jump at it. You’ll be better for it and so will the rest of your world. Till next time, stay up.
Thank you for reading!
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The perfect job for me by Monday night and (redacted). The offer came on a Monday afternoon.
Perfect healing for me, mummy and everyone in my family.
Divine happiness this year and explosive miracles.
On June 28th, I walked into my office in San Francisco. It was a regular Friday – nothing special. Well, except my boss was going on vacation for 3weeks. I was kinda stoked. Not because he was annoying or overbearing but I was planning a vacation as well.
My boss had scheduled a meeting for that afternoon. It was unusual because we typically met on Wednesdays and Thursdays if needed. I totally saw nothing of it. I walked in and I was told that the business had decided to cut my vertical and essentially put jobs of almost 350 people in limbo.
That weekend, I battled through shock and depression to clean up my resume and start applying. July 4th holiday was the following week. I battled through this unexpected news to go out and hang out with friends.
It has been a rollercoaster ride. From certainty to doubt and disbelief while sadness continued to show its ugly face. In May, a lot had happened that caused me to tap into my savings and essentially drain it for family stuff. So when this happened in June, I questioned God. I would randomly burst into tears and begin to imagine how I would be able to take care of my family and my bills. I was like God, you made me the head to now put me to shame?
One song that I always sang through it all was Freke Umoh’s “You Are My God” We cannot call on your name and end up in shame (no way) We cannot kneel before Jesus and kneel before a man (no way no) I cannot bow before Yahweh And bow to recession (no way no) (No way, no way) I cannot cry before the Lord And cry to depression (No way, no way) You are my God You are my God You are my God You are my God
I kept saying there is no way I could worship and serve you and you will let me be put to shame! No way! I would sing that song over and over! I could never finish singing it without crying.
Very quickly, a company reached out to me and I was sure they were the one. Their office was in Oakland and so close to the house. I was so happy that I would not need to drive far and I would have a job really quickly after leaving the other one. Welp. The interview went well and I got some useless rejection email. God said “I have better for you”
I must say that through it all, EVERY ONE of the few people I told about my situation was incredibly confident that I would get something soon. Confident to the point of arrogance that it somewhat annoyed me. Like I’m out here unemployed and you are here confident I’ll get another one. How??? I kept pushing.
More interviews rolled in after one powerful Holy Ghost Service at church – August 2nd. We were told to write down 4 things we wanted by the end of the month. I wrote mine in this same note page that I’m writing this and I kept praying. I am writing this mid-air on the way to Cancun for my friend’s bachelor party with 2 offers in hand and waiting on more. I knew I was going to share this with you all once God did it. When I got my last job, I know how much it inspired many people that reached out to me. That same God did not put me to shame.
Imagine that leaving that job, I have been blessed with a 41% salary increase. It is unbelievable how this God moves! Before I left my last job, I was annoyed that I was only given a 4% increase in a year that saw “exceptional growth and promotion” – their words.
I remember a few years ago when God had blessed me with a promotion and I was trying to record an IG video and I burst into tears, some people teased me and called me names for crying in public. But believe me when I say this, this God is tooooooo good o! And I will never be shamed into hiding what he has done for me and my loved ones.
I was kinda tense about when the job would land in my hands. Let me tell you about the day it came – I was in the gym working out when I got the official offer letter. When I saw the amount they were giving me and the perks – I literally laid down face flat, sweaty and broke into tears on the gym floor. Nobody likes embarrassment but if that’s how he wants to keep blessing me and showing out, I am here for it 100%
A song that has been in my heart over this trying period is Mercy Chinwo’s Omekannaya. There is a part of that song that says “They may not understand How far you’ve brought me Man may not understand”
I cried o. Even as I was going through it, people were calling me and demanding or wanting things – me that I was deep in my valley. I remember tweeting something to that effect.
It literally humbles me and reminds me that this God that created the earth and the 7billion in it, knows me by name and treats me special. For those of you going through a trying time and wondering why and if God is listening, he totally is and he is working a miracle for you. Hold on and keep the faith. Never stop praying and believing. He is never late, he is always on time. Ask that he allows you to let his will be done and that you are aligned with what he wants for you.
Let me tell you, that same job that I was crying about, that same company just fired 50% of its staff. And the stock dropped billions of dollars and I am on a new team that respects and values me and my input. A few weeks ago another song kept me going – Mercy Chinwo’s Incredible God. Extraordinary strategist, impossibility specialist, You made the earth your footstool, Incredible God. You’re seated in heaven, This God knew that ship would sink and he removed me from it, put me on dry land and kept me. Life will throw curveballs at you but God is playing a completely different game on a totally different level. Your life and story will be a testimony – I truly believe it. Thanks for continuing to rock with me. I’ll be here to celebrate with you.
Thank you for reading!
Please comment, retweet and share. Thank you for your continued support. See you all in 2020! You are highly appreciated.
“I am so tired.
I am tired. I don’t need any encouraging words or “it will get better”
I am tired.
For the last 10 days, I have been dealing with family stuff as someone has been unexpectedly and worryingly sick in my immediate family.
Putting on a strong face and trying to keep it all together but dying inside.
I am so stressed. I want to cry every day but I feel like I am too strong. I need to be strong to hold it all together.
Parking was a fucking shit show this morning because of stupid construction happening in the fucking high of the day!
Took me over an hour to park. I hate everyone and everything.
My parents lied!
They promised me, forced me to get stupid degrees and promised to pay my student loans.
I make enough but the costs never stop.
Like that was money I was still thinking I would use to buy the rest of the shit I need for Nigeria or even pay for lodging!
I just want to close my eyes and everything ends.
I am tired.
I don’t want to feel all this pain.
I don’t want to be strong.
Don’t fucking know why I am typing this to you but idk.
FUCK THIS SHIT!”
I hit send on the text message, placed my phone to the side of my bed and I closed my eyes.
Seconds later, my mind was racing. I was filled with remorse and regretting even opening up.
I wanted to pick up my phone but this was not WhatsApp, this message was not getting deleted or erased.
The sunlight beamed through the blinds as I woke up. I picked up my phone and looked at the notification panel.
Fuck! How did I sleep for so long?
I sluggishly got up, weaving through my notifications and apps, I ignored my bible app reminder and went straight for my iMessage.
As I pulled it up, I noticed that my message from the night before had been read four hours prior but no reply.
“Tobi, where are you?”
I heard him chuckle over the phone and he replied
“Chill, I’m coming”
I growled and snapped back
“Tobi, you said you have been coming since morning. If you couldn’t come, you should have just told me and I would have found a way to come and get it.
Where are you now, so I can come and get it?”
I could tell my anger took him by surprise as he said
“I’m already on my way to you. I’m bringing it”
He snarled back.
Click. The call was over.
The next roughly 15minutes were sooo annoying!
One thing I hate more than anything else is being made to wait.
I needed that bag and what is more annoying is that I gladly would have gone to get it myself.
But here I was waiting on someone who didn’t see the urgency in what I needed.
When he pulled up, I opened the door and let him in.
His first words didn’t help because I was doing everything within my power to not snatch my purse from him.
He smiled and said
“Why are you so angry?”
I took a deep breath and said
“Tobi, give me my purse”
He started trying to play hookie with me by running around the coffee table in the center of my living room.
I was so angry and I charged at him.
He ducked and turned around the couch, he was now standing between the couch and my dining table.
I stopped to catch my breath and I said
“Tobi, please give me my purse. I am tired abeg”
He smiled and started walking towards me with his hands behind his back, both on my purse.
I walked towards him and we were soon standing within inches of each other.
He leaned in and tried to kiss me.
I weaved and moved my head as I said
“Tobi stop. Just please give me my purse. I’m really tired”
He smirked and said
“Not giving it to you until you give me a kiss”
I turned around to walk away. I was boiling inside.
He tried to grab my forearm as I turned away. In one swoop, I swung around and smacked his hand.
There was a look of pure shock on his face, he clearly didn’t think I was going to hit him that hard.
He pulled his hand out and stretched my purse towards me.
I collected it and sluggishly walked into the room.
I opened the bag and began shuffling in the purse for what I was looking for.
I couldn’t find it.
I couldn’t fucking find it!
My eyes were getting cloudy and my heart was racing. I turned the contents of the purse on to the bed.
A parking ticket I had been putting off was amongst the contents. I hissed as I rummaged through the bag still looking for the item.
I could feel my breath leaving me.
I got up and went towards my bedside desk. Opening the drawer, I started looking for it there.
I walked back to the bed and sat down.
At this point, the tears were coming down my face.
I was afraid.
My mind went blank. The last time I saw it, I was putting it into my purse.
So where could it have gone?
I stood up to head into the living room. As I stood up, I felt my legs give way and I slumped with the back of my head catching the corner of my bed.
The last thing I heard was Tobi bursting into my room.
I saw his legs as he bent next to me and lifted my head into his arms.
He kept calling my name.
I was slowly forgetting mine.
My eyes shut.
“Do you know when the last time she took her medication was?”
Those were the first words I heard as I was getting wheeled into the emergency room. There was no way Tobi could have known.
As they parked the bed, the doctors tried to ask me some questions. I roughly remember what I said.
Soon there was a drip going into my forearm and I felt myself drifting off again. The last thing I remember was motioning weakly to Tobi who was sitting next to me, he rode up and stood over me.
I sheepishly whispered
He looked confused. I whispered again
When I woke up about 5hours later, Tobi and Kamal were sitting on opposite sides of the bed, flanking me.
I could feel the tension between them. It was like a cloud over the open bed space.
Tobi must have used my Face ID to get into my phone which was what I expected anyways and Kamal, while worried about me, must have not understood why Tobi was there.
I slowly sat up and said
“Have you two met?”
Tobi shook his head and said
“I just called him like you asked”
My lips were chapped and my throat was dry. I swallowed hard and said
I looked over at Kamal and smiled before continuing
“I told you to call Kamal because he knew my medication and would have been able to tell the doctors”
Kamal jumped in and said
“Yes, I told them already and they gave you a drip and a refill, you should be good to leave here later tonight or tomorrow if you want”
I slid back into the bed.
I could tell that Tobi was dying inside, I could see it on his face. He didn’t know why I fainted and here I was asking another man to come and meet us at the hospital. But, I was not about to explain at that time. I was too weak.
He tried to hold it together for a bit and then he said
“Hey- So I have to go and take care of some work stuff.
Will you let me know when you get discharged?”
He leaned in gave me a hug and then that “man” nod to Kamal before walking out.
As he walked out, I turned to look at Kamal.
He smiled without saying anything. I asked
He smiled and said
“Nothing o. You just know how to pick them”
Slightly embarrassed, I replied
“I didn’t even do anything”
He smiled even more and said
“Yeah right, you never do”
He continued and said
“How are you feeling? I was worried when I got the call”
I looked down on the bed and said
“I’m fine to be honest, I just didn’t take my meds because I couldn’t find them.
But I’m good honestly”
“Are you sure?”
I nodded and said
“You know me, I’m good”
He said okay and then he asked
“Are we still on for this weekend, now that you have decided to put me in a death scare”
“Ori e” – translates to “Your head” before continuing to say
“Honestly, I should be good with a day of rest and icing my head. I think I hit it on the bed when I fell.
Hurts like a MF”
He replied and said
“Lmaooooo its because your head is so big”
If I could have punched him, I totally would have.
As we pulled up to the venue, I noticed that he still had his drink in the door of the car.
“You’re supposed to have finished drinking that already?”
He smiled, picked up the bottle and downed what was left of it. I knew it was going to be a good night.
We walked to the venue and I suggested that we grab drinks before the show started.
We snuck into the connected bar and sat by the bar.
His eyes kept wandering as he was amazed by the setup. There were video games everywhere.
We ordered our drinks and I saw him googling “Mario Kart games on PlayStation 4”. Such a big kid.
I asked the bartender to surprise me with my drink and I think he ordered a Red Bull.
We took our drinks and headed into the venue, the show was about to start.
As we approached the door, we got stopped and were told to get our tickets at the box office. So we walked all the way back to the front, got the tickets and then headed in.
I could tell how handsome he looked by the stank eyes most of the ladies flashed at me. He kept beaming that smile behind me and I was all here for it.
We sat right next to each other but he turned my seat, so my back was to him and we faced the stage.
The entire show, bar when he was on his phone, his hands were on my bum.
I couldn’t wait for us to get out of there.
The show was fun. Lots of laugh, improv nights are always my favorite.
We walked out talking about threesomes – we had seen a lady with a beautiful butt. So beautiful.
I can’t remember who suggested it but we ended up at a club, a few drinks and fist pumping, I was ready to go. I had wanted to jump his bones since I picked him up at the airport.
As we walked out, I noticed this white girl who had come up to me in the club.
She was sitting down on the floor with a cup of ice.
“What happened? You left me in there”
She was so drunk and even attempting to respond to me, she knocked over her cup of ice and she looked so distraught. I felt bad but I rushed out of there so quick!
We made it to the car and I couldn’t wait to get us home. He was playing music and we were having a great time in the car and then he asked
“How far away from the house are we?”
I nonchalantly replied
“About 5 minutes”
He smiled and once we hit a red light, he leaned over and kissed me.
Then he slid his left hand up my skirt. I couldn’t concentrate.
My legs started shaking and my breathing short. He slid my panties to the side and began rubbing my clit.
I was squirming while trying to keep the car steady.
What the fuck?
I could feel the chills rising up my back. I wanted to close my eyes and let go but we were almost home.
I remember veering out of my lane and my car beeping to alert me.
I was alert alright, my pussy was ready for a beating.
To cap it off, he removed his hand, looked at me and licked my juices off his fingers.
As we pulled in the parking lot, I quickly parked.
I could hear Lil Wayne’s verse on The Motto playing in the background as he reclined my seat.
He leaned in as if he was about to kiss me. I was wrong.
He reached up my skirt and pulled my panties down.
Kissed me on the forehead and hopped out of the car.
I was soooooooo angry!
I gathered myself, pulled my skirt down and hopped out of the car.
There he was standing in the middle of the parking lot, all 6’3 260lbs of him. His left hand was to his face.
As I got closer, I realized he was holding my panties to his nose.
We entered my apartment and he sat down on the couch, I made him a drink and pulled down his pants.
I was ready to go.
His moans were my favorite part. His hands running through my hair as he cursed and told me
“This is the best head ever”
My inner thot smiled.
I stroked and slurped down his shaft, soaking his balls and drinking on to my leather couch.
I wanted all of him deep in my throat and in my guts.
He tried to fight it but wasn’t very successful.
He went silent as I stroked his dick with my left hand and juggled his balls with my right hand.
He pushed me off and walked me back to the room.
He climbed on the bed and laid on his back.
I climbed on the bed and planted my pussy on his face before leaning forward and taking in his dick – 69.
It was wet on both ends of the coast as we feasted on each other.
He pushed me off as I came and was about to lean into me, there is a full length mirror at the foot of my bed, I caught a glimpse of myself.
As I laid down, I spread my legs wide. He lowered his member into me and started slow.
Cupping my head in his hand and protecting it from the head board, he thrust in and out.
The pace picked up and my profanity did as well.
He was hitting it right.
His grip on my thighs was as hot as the depths his dick was exploring.
I could see the hunger in his eyes.
He pounded me like candied yams. I was loving it.
When he flipped me over, I was ready.
I arched my back and tooted my ass towards him. He smiled and slide into me.
I could still feel how wet his balls were as they slammed into my clit.
He grabbed the shit out of my waist and he went to work. It was as if we hadn’t seen each other in 3 months.
He kept at it and so did I, throwing it back like a third draft of a senior thesis.
I could feel welling up and getting ready with his canon.
So I wrapped my legs around his butt.
He was leaning all the way into me, I was almost falling off the bed as he pounded my pleading pussy.
I wanted it. More of it.
All of it.
He didn’t stop.
I wouldn’t let him stop.
Just as he was about to let go, I looked back, damn near from the floor and yelled
“Fill me up”
Moaned and pumped me full of his warm seed.
I lay there for a few minutes as he curled up next to me panting for air.
I turned over and said
“Where are my panties?”
He smiled and said
“You’re never getting them back”
It was going to be a long weekend and I was going to enjoy every minute of it.
I rolled over in the bed as he got up and headed to the bathroom.
The lights went on and then he said
“The condom broke”
Welcome to my first series of 2019! Expect a lot more this year. That’s all I’m saying.
Oh also, please leave me a comment and share your thoughts. Thanks!
For weeks now, I have been trying to stop and write about this.
It’s been eating me for a while and over the course of this post, I will drop some familiar quotes that you may have heard.
As we get older, many of us are finding purpose in life, monetizing talents and honestly just trying to make our hustles come good for us.
As you become an “owner”, you start to find that support is weird. It’s something you know you’re not entitled to but you crave and demand in certain spaces.
“Not everyone is like you”
The aforementioned quote is important and I’ll speak to it shortly.
But, about not being entitled to support and still demanding it.
We all know that in life, nothing is promised.
Nothing is given and almost everything is earned.
By virtue of that quote, you cannot be entitled to someone’s support.
And let’s be clear, when I speak about support, I don’t mean support in being an abusive partner, I mean tangible support to greatness.
To me it should be simple, if I know you personally and I respect you, you almost automatically have my support.
That means if you are my friend and you start a business or start to chase your dreams, I will be with you.
Monetarily if I can and sometimes by just being another voice spreading the word about whatever you are doing.
Secondly, if you are someone I know in passing (Twitter, IG or in social space) and you have a sound product, I will support you as well.
I feel challenged to do good everyday, so in spaces that I find myself, I offer support.
That means buying from my friends and not expecting things for free. Or retweeting every damn thing they post and shouting them out when I can.
Look, it is not easy and honestly, I don’t think people that fail to support are evil people.
I just think as we get older, means of showing love and support should become more tangible.
It’s not enough to say you care about me but you haven’t listened to a single episode of my show all year or say you support your friend but you patronize big brands instead of their handmade or original stuff.
If you are a lazy friend, more than likely, you come off as an unsupportive friend.
It’s hard enough in a saturated social media space to carve a niche but you expect to rely on those you love to at least help you get off your feet.
Look, in the first few months of my show
“Subscribe here to my weekly radio show/podcast on iTunes. Rate us and leave us a comment if you will please”
I used to ping my friends before we went live.
“are you listening? We are live”
But as we go live this week, I don’t “need” my friends to have an impactful show.
But I also know how I got here, some of my friends listened every week, told others about what I do, shared my art and helped me grow.
And I owe that to everyone I care about and respect.
What sucks is when you have people who won’t actively support you.
I have a friend who is very popular in her field. Doesn’t actively support me, but supports similar brands. Now it could be because my shit sucks, which I doubt or she doesn’t care.
But recently she got nominated for an award and wanted to win badly.
Suddenly, it was “guys please log in here and vote for me”.
And I’m like sis what????
We all didn’t start at the same time but if you have been blessed with a following or a large platform, use it to be supportive.
“We rise by lifting others”
I love people that live for shouting out their friends.
It’s so beautiful to watch.
“Your support can be your currency”
Look sometimes you can’t actively support your friends.
My friend Eche, CEO of Afropolitan Group based in SF.
Has many events, sometimes weekly and I cannot attend all of them.
But I can retweet when he posts and encourage others to attend.
Or some who have friends that make expensive products that you cannot afford.
Your support can be your currency.
Spread the word and you never know who else will patronize them.
It’s also important to understand that like I said earlier, no one owes you shit.
And it is futile begging for the support of folks who are too lazy to care or don’t see value in your dream.
Keep pushing on and working hard.
One day, you’ll make it big and be bigger than you currently are.
Those same people will be the first to congratulate you and tweet/post that they knew you from earlier days.
~ The Wordsmith
New Series is coming on Saturday!
Thank you for reading and commenting. You are highly appreciated.
Loudly. All I could hear was a ringing sound.
It was like someone slapped me blind and I was dazed.
I didn’t hear the last few words that came out of Lolade’s mouth as I turned to Lade who was struggling to sit up.
I stared for a few moments.
There were definitely words to be said and I wanted to blurt them out but somehow I couldn’t.
My eyes began to well and I think I was finally at my breaking point. I finally choked it out
“Lade *voice trembles*…please tell me she is lying”
She didn’t answer.
She looked down and away from me.
The anger inside me swole and I yelled out
“Lade! tell me she is fucking lying”
Her mom jumped in and said
“No! She is not lying.”
I turned to her and said
“Mummy, with all due respect, stay out of this!!!”
She stepped forward and said
“No! I will not allow you to speak to my daughter that way.
She made some mistakes but yelling at her is not the answer”
Between her getting shot and not even knowing what was going on, I find out that I could have been a father and I am supposed to speak calmly.
Are you kidding me?”
Before her mother could respond, Lade jumped in and said
“Akin, you have every right to be angry but just let me explain, it is not what it seems”
I scoffed and said
“Two months ago, I got set of pictures and videos from the night of your bachelor party.
It basically showed you having what appeared to be a good time and then in one of the videos, it showed one of the strippers leading you into a private room.
And when you emerged, then were lipstick stains on your shirt.
A shirt that never made it home… the message also said that you had sex with one of the women”
“I was so hurt and I made the mistake of seeking revenge instead of asking you.
So I hit up an ex boyfriend of mine who I knew was having a party one weekend and I went. I honestly don’t remember what happened but the next day I woke up in his bed with him next to me, completely naked.
I swear Akin, I didn’t sleep with him.
I checked everything and I even asked him later. He said he did not know but I was sure nothing went inside me that night.
So when I found out that I was pregnant, you can imagine my confusion. Everything within me felt like it was yours..ours…but I had to be sure.
I told my mom and I was going to tell you but I wanted to be sure it was ours.
But before I could even do that, I was getting blackmailed.
They were asking for N3 million. I didn’t know what to do and I did not want to freak my mom or anyone else out, so I went to this snake Lolade.
She promised to help me find the person but quickly turned and started telling me to go and give them the money”
I turned to Lolade who was almost walking through the closed door.
if she could run, she would have.
Lade, slightly emboldened, continued to speak
“Lade must have seen it as an opportunity to cash in. Because suddenly, she was talking about being the liaison between me and the blackmailer.
At first, I thought nothing about it but then…”
There was a knock on the door.
All our heads turned to the door.
The two policemen that interrogated me a few days before walked in.
The sergeant spoke first, I had learned his name was Mr. Adedigba
“Hopefully we are not interrupting anything. We just have a few questions for you ma”
You could pick up the strong old Oyo accent as he directed his gaze towards Lade.
I jumped in and said
She is still recovering”
He smiled and snakily replied
“And you think the person that shot her is still recovering?”
He had a point, if it was Lolade or someone else, the longer it took to catch them, the more time they had to get away with it.
He looked at Lade and asked
“Madam, do you remember anything from the day you got shot? What do you remember about that day, did you get a look at the person?”
Before he finished his question, I interrupted and said
“Officers, my wife said that this woman here is the reason she got shot. This is your suspect here”
I pointed at a now flustered Lolade.
He looked at Lolade and then at Lade before saying
“Madam is this true?”
Lade shook her head to my surprise and said
“Yes and no.
I believe that she may have something to do with it but she was not the one that shot me”
Lolade appeared to heave a sigh of relief.
The sergeant turned to Lolade and said
“Is this true?
Did you have something to do with the shooting?”
She stood straight and said with confidence
“Officer, I had nothing to do with it.
I don’t own a gun or talk less know how to use one. I didn’t do anything. She even told you that I wasn’t there.
It’s not me sir”
The sergeant sensing that he wasn’t going to get a straight answer in that moment said
“Well, my aim is to get to the bottom of this situation as soon as possible.
Madam, I am going to need you to come down to the station with us”
Lolade was terrified.
She wanted to run but knew that would be unwise.
And almost as if the universe was singing her name, there was a quick knock on the door and it opened.
It was the doctor.
He looked surprised that the room was packed, but his immediate concern was Lade.
he quickly said
“Lade, you should be resting. Please lay down.”
He stood next to her and said
“Can everyone please exit the room and give us some privacy please?”
We all began to shuffle out and he said to me
“Not you Akin”
Everyone else waited outside the room.
I stopped as the door closed and the doctor said
“There is something important that I need to talk to both of you about”
I walked to Lade’s side and held her left hand.
She squeezed my hand as he began to speak.
“One thing I didn’t get to tell you the last time Akin because you were around people is that we are super pleased Lade survived that horrible experience.
But I think the two of you are going to need each other more than ever.
Two of the bullets punctured Lade’s womb and it may make it almost impossible for her to have children on her own.”
My soul was crushed.
Lade squeezed my hand really tightly as she burst out into tears.
She kept saying
“Akin, I’m sorry. I am so sorry”
My heart was broken but watching her in tears was breaking me further.
I leaned in and said through my tears
“It’s okay baby. We will get through it together”
The doctor said
“You both know that we will be with you through everything. Anything you need”
He got up and walked out.
I was instantly filled with rage. My heart had taken enough.
I got up and stormed out of the room into the hallway. Lade tried to hold me but I broke free. I swung the door open and I said to the sergeant
“Don’t believe anything she says. Search her and her place.
She is involved!”
My face was soaked in tears and holding pain as the sergeant asked Lolade to open her purse.
She quickly opened it without any fear.
“There you go”
He put his hand into the bag and moved it around.
Suddenly he stopped, he looked up and around to all of us before pulling out my gun.
I have never seen Lolade appear so small before.
She immediately said
‘That is not mine”
The second officer said
“Madam, you can explain how an attempted murder weapon ended up in your bag at the station.”
He grabbed her by the arm and walked her out.
Lade’s mom was speechless and I re-entered the room.
The rest of the evening, I climbed into the bed and laid next to Lade holding her.
We were going to get through it.
She finally fell asleep. I turned and kissed her on the forehead as I held back my own tears.
~New series next Saturday? 20 comments and we have a deal~
I turned around the corner and walked into the bedroom.
I handed Lade a cup of tea and leaned in to kiss her.
She giggled and said
with that beautiful smile across her face.
Her phone buzzed and she reached for it.
She used her right thumb to unlock the phone before saying
“Awww, they said Lolade got stabbed twice”
I was actually taken aback. We hadn’t heard anything about Lolade and anyone from that phase in a long time.
“Did she survive?”
I shook my head and said
Lade smiled and said
“Akin, you still never told me how that gun made it into Lolade’s purse”
I smiled and said
“I had nothing to do with it. Just like I know you know nothing about this stabbing”
Lade smiled and shook her head. She placed her phone down and said
“One day you are going to tell me what really happened.”
I chimed back
She motioned to me and I came to sit next to her.
She turned, looked into my eyes and said
“I love you Akin, my King”
I smiled and said
“I love you too my Queen”
as I leaned in to kiss her.
We both looked up as she said
“Hi guys! Welcome to OUR channel”
she glanced at me as she said it.
Then she made me turn my head as she wiped off a Lipstick Stain from my lip.
She turned back to the camera and said
“Hey all, if you didn’t watch my last video about our gender reveal, click on the icon on your screen right now…
but to our repeat viewers and subscribers, thanks for coming with us on this journey.
As some of you may know, I was told I may never be able to carry my own children and in two months, we are expecting triplets!
Who would have thought it right?
We guess God has a sense of humor but we are so glad we get to share this experience with you.
But I could never have done this without my superman husband. So thank you babe”
She smiled and looked at me
I smiled back while resisting the urge to kiss her.
Lade continued and said
“So guys, we are doing an incoming baby tag, things we want our children to take or not take from either of us.
Babe wanna go first?”
She turned to me and I said
“The main thing I don’t want my children to take from my wife is her snoring. She snores for Africa.
It’s like grunting pigs”
She punched me in my arm and said
“Akin what the heck man!”
I smiled back and rubbed her swollen belly.
We were about to become a family and in that moment, everything else felt like a blur.
HOW WAS THE LIPSTICK STAIN SERIES FOR YOU? WHAT DID YOU FEEL? DO YOU HATE ME YET?
It was an honor writing it for you all. I am glad you enjoyed it!
~New series next Saturday? 20 comments and we have a deal~
Picking up myself from the hospital floor was so hard. I was in so much pain that I didn’t even go back into the room to check on her before I left.
My heart was hurting and my mind was racing.
How could she do this to me?
Why didn’t she tell me?
I could not fathom how she could be carrying our joy and not tell me.
How could other people have known about it without me knowing?
There was so much running through my mind. Everything I thought about her, I would feel a pain in my heart.
I never got to meet the little one. Always dreamt of having my own son.
Being Arsenal fanatics. Teaching him perseverance by supporting one of the most disappointing teams in sports history or just watching him become his own man.
I also dreamt of having a daughter, helping her find her voice in this misogynistic world, owning her black girl magic and me trying to style her hair because I got the juice like that.
But I was never going to know what that felt like. At least, I felt like I missed out.
Almost like you waited in your home all day for a delivery only to come out and see a missed delivery notice.
I cried the whole way home. I didn’t even let “D” come with me.
I felt truly alone and I just wanted to be alone.
As I pulled into the estate, I didn’t even greet the guards at the main gate. I tried to avoid eye contact.
A part of me was very annoyed with them as well.
How did someone bypass them, shoot my wife and none of them knew?
As I parked the car, I felt like something was off.
How much of it was paranoia of the last few days? I couldn’t tell.
But as I approached the main door, it appeared to have been tampered with.
There were scratches around the keyhole and it appeared someone may have tried to kick the door.
My rage boiled over, I hopped into the car and drove straight to the main gate.
As I pulled up I parked to the right side of the gate, the one not used on a daily basis and I stormed out.
The first words that left my mouth were
“Sunday, where your oga day?”
He looked taken aback.
It could have been the tone in my voice or how I was marching towards him.
“Oga wetin happen?”
Was his nervous reply.
I looked him in the face and said in an irate manner
“Person come my house, shoot my wife. Una idiots no hear anything.
Now person come try break into my house again and no security. Wetin be una job again?
Why we dey pay you?
I swear to God wey create all of us. If anything like this happen again, na me go wound una.
I didn’t even give them a chance to respond as I stormed back to my car.
I got in and drove out of the estate.
My heart was racing and it felt like misplaced anger but it also felt extremely necessary.
Like damn it! Why was everything in my life so misplaced?
I couldn’t think and I just kept driving.
I did not realize how far I had gone until I pulled into the coffee shop – Cafe Neo.
Before I could tell, I was waiting in line to order.
I took a seat while they made my drink. I wanted to cry some more but a part of me just wanted to be held.
The last few days had felt like a bad dream and I wanted someone to hold me by my shoulders, shake me and tell me that I’ve been dreaming all along.
But it didn’t seem likely at all.
I got my drink and I walked out of the coffee shop.
As I was stepping out, my phone buzzed.
Reaching for it, I moved my cup into my left hand and picked up my phone.
As I answered, the person on the phone said
“Akin, long time. How’s that coffee?
Before you start trying to figure out who I am, I just want you to know something.
Do as I say and everything will be fine…”
I was frozen but my eyes were scanning the parking lot and the side of the road. I was sure the person was looking at me but I couldn’t tell where.
I turned around to look and the voice on the phone continued
“5 million in cash or the next time, your wife won’t survive”
I asked in fear
“Who are you?”
The person chuckled and said
“I know you and right now, that is all that matters…”
I hadn’t driven that fast in a long time and trust Lekki traffic, I was stuck.
I immediately called the doctor and said
“Doctor, please make sure someone is there to look after my wife”
Startled he replied
“Akin, I just checked on her less than an hour ago”
I wasn’t having it
“Please put someone with her, I will be there as soon as possible”
Now more concerned he said
“Is everything okay?
I mean her mother is here, I can have her sit with your wife if you like”
“I don’t care, just make sure someone is with her.”
He said okay and I continued to sit there in traffic super annoyed.
At one point, I considered abandoning my car and taking an Okada.
So many questions filled my head
“Who could it be?
Were they following me?
How did they know about Lade?”
Those thoughts sailed through my head and I changed my course as soon as I got the chance to.
I couldn’t be sure if the person was following me.
About 30 minutes later, I made it to the hospital.
Rushing into the room, all I wanted to see was if Lade was doing okay.
She seemed to be asleep.
I greeted her mother reluctantly as I was still very angry about the baby.
I turned around and left the room, Lade’s mother followed me closely.
“Akin duro, je kin ba e soro”
(Akin, wait up, let me talk to you)
I turned around as she held my hand and pulled me to the side.
She fixed her glasses and said
“You are my son and a child cannot remain angry with their parent forever.
I know you are upset and to ba je emi ni (if it was me), I would be upset too.
But I want you to know that we did not keep any of this from you as a secret.
By my understanding, your birthday is on Thursday and Lade was planning to surprise you.
She found out two months ago and felt it would be a great birthday surprise gift for you.
Ma binu oko mi (don’t be angry my son)”
I tell you this now, the way she spoke to me was very reminiscent of some deep talks I had with my mother growing up.
Something about it really spoke to me.
It was like she could see that I was trying to hold the anger and she continued
Lade needs you more than ever right now. All of this does not make sense but God is in control.
You are the head of this family and God will do another for you two but right now, you need to be a rock”
I nodded as she reached up to hug me.
I wiped off the tears streaming down my face as she rubbed my back.
“It has been a rough couple of days, you need to eat and go home to get some rest.”
I shook my head and said
“I can’t leave her. I have to be there when she wakes up”
She smiled and said
“Well before you came, the doctor said they will keep her induced for another 2 days to make sure everything is okay.
I am sure you can get some rest.
I will stay and her father will come and join me later tonight. “
Reluctantly, I agreed.
She then said
“I have asked my cook to make you some food.
She will be here any moment, go home and get some rest”
I wanted to tell her about the call I got but I also can confidently tell you that an African mother is the last person you want to tell that a hit has been put out on her daughter.
So I said
“The only way I can leave is if you can guarantee that someone will be with her at all times”
She nodded and said
“I will not leave her side.
The driver and the cook are outside, come let us go and put the food in your car quickly”
We walked out into the lobby and outside to the car.
The driver immediately stepped out and the cook was in the passenger’s seat.
Someone else was in the back but I couldn’t see till I got closer. The back door opened on the owner’s corner and it was Lade’s cousin, Lolade.
She stepped out and walked around the car.
Lade’s mom’s face lit up and she said
“Ah Lola, Iwo ni. (Oh Lola, it is you)
How are you my dear?”
She knelt and greeted her aunty before I gave her a hug.
I had stopped by to drop something my mom wanted to give you and I heard about what happened to Lade, so I wanted to come and check on her.
Akin, how are you holding up?
Has she woken up?”
I forced a smile and said
“Trying love. Just staying positive. No, she is still under. ”
She nodded and said
“It is well.”
I told her the room number while I collected the food from the cook.
I walked over to my car parked on the other side of the lot and opened up the trunk with the remote.
As I lowered the cooler into the trunk, I noticed something out the corner of my eye.
Tucked away in the left side of the trunk, it was staring at me.
I was shocked.
How did it get there? I thought to myself.
I quickly turned around to make sure that nobody saw it.
I noticed Lade’s mom walking towards me as she gave instructions to the cook.
“Akin, there should be efo, obe ata ati rice.
Ila alasepo naa wa n be”
(There should be spinach stew, pepper stew with rice and okra)
She said as she walked towards me.
“Thank you mummy”
And quickly closed the trunk.
My heart was racing and I was feeling exposed.
Someone was clearly trying to set me up.
We walked back into the hospital and Lade’s mom took her seat next to her.
I was going to leave but I wanted to also make sure that Lolade knew the importance of keeping an eye on her.
Lolade and Lade were born in the same month and their mothers are sisters, so they gave them similar names and raised them together.
You couldn’t separate them growing up until they went to college in different countries and even then, they still remained very close.
As we stepped into the hallway I said
“Lolade someone called me today and asked for 5 million or they would try to hurt Lade again
I need you to please keep a close eye on her and anyone that comes into the room.
I am going to try and get the money today”
She replied with shock
You are going to get the money today? From where?”
“I don’t know but I have to. Nothing can happen to Lade”
“Well nothing will happen to her here.
But don’t worry, I will watch her”
“Also, her parents cannot know. Only you know right now”
We walked back into the room and we were met with elation.
Lade’s mom was standing and quietly motioning us forward.
She was waking up!
As we approached, I stood by her side and held her right hand.
There was a huge smile on my face.
As she smacked her lips and blinked her eyes, she looked at me and smiled.
She looked to the side and saw her mom.
There was a quick frown, almost one of confusion. I think it was then she realized she was in a hospital bed.
She opened her eyes and looked at me closely. I was still smiling and I am sure I was almost crying.
She lifted her hand as if she wanted us to remove the air mask.
I lifted it off her mouth and she swallowed hard before asking
“Where am I?”
I replied and said
“Baby don’t worry about that. We are just glad you are okay”
Before I could continue, I noticed Lolade was walking out of the room.
Lade’s mom said
“Lolade, please help us get the doctor”
Those words were like missiles because instantly, I felt Lade squeeze my hand tightly and say
“What is she doing here?”
Not reading anything into it, I rubbed her hand and said
“Babe, that’s your cousin Lolade”
She tilted her head forward and said
“I know. But what is she doing here?”
The mood in the room quickly changed.
Lolade’s mom and I looked at each other, very confused.
We looked over to Lolade and then to Lade, she looked angry.
“Lade, what is going on?
That’s your cousin. Are you okay?”
Her voice was still weak but her angst was strong.
“Why is she here?
She is the reason I am here”
Lade’s mom gasped and I turned my gaze to Lolade standing by the door.
Her look had changed and she had a scowl on her face.
Her next words were
“You better fucking relax Akin.
Out here trying to play Superman for this one. When the baby wasn’t even yours”
Also, please check out my midweek post “Take Me To Church“.
Huge thank you to everyone leaving comments and sharing the series with their friends! I appreciate it all.
LEAVE ME A COMMENT ABOUT HOW YOU FEELING OR WHAT YOU THOUGHT ABOUT THIS PART.
~The explosive Part 4 drops next Saturday! Do not miss it~
Hey there! If this is your first exposure to my series Lipstick Stain, you definitely need Part 1. Read it by clicking here. Enjoy and we’ll see you back! 🤗
My hands were shaking.
My throat became very dry. I could not believe my eyes.
She was just laying there.
I couldn’t think of what to do next. It’s like I was shaking in place and frozen at the same time.
I wanted to move but I couldn’t.
Trust me, it is nothing like in the movies. There was no dramatic music or some crazy rush of blood within me.
I just stood there.
Slowly, I began to come to myself. All of this must have been four to five minutes but it literally felt like a decade.
I suddenly got the urge to sit down on the bathroom floor. My eyes continuing to scan the room.
I began to think,
“What happened last night?
Did we get into that big of a fight?
….why would I shoot my wife?”
I was playing her last words in my head. I started to cry.
The tears slowly rolling down my cheeks.
It was really starting to hit me now.
Lade was gone.
And so was my gun.
Oh shit, my gun!
I wanted to call the police. But I felt like I needed to make sense of everything.
So I ran back to the living room and grabbed my phone.
And dialed my best friend Desmond’s number. He picked up on the second ring.
I lifted the phone to my left ear and said
“D – something crazy just happened.
Come to my house right now”
Concerned, he replied
“Guy you good?
I smelled hard and said
“D – abeg get here asap. I need you”
Even more concerned, he replied
“Aight bet. I’m on my way”
I lowered my phone and immediately lifted it up to call the police.
As I began dialing, the unexpected happened.
Lade muttered something
“Akin, help me”
I was so shocked, I didn’t realize the call had gone through.
I quickly canceled it and ran to her.
I knelt down by her side and said
“Babe, are you okay?”
Can you hear me?????
….Baby, I’m here. Stay with me… Help is coming”
She was trying to tell me something.
“Lade, don’t say anything.. I am getting help”
I quickly grabbed my phone and called our hospital.
“Hello, this is Mr. Olaoluwa, I need an ambulance to 56 Hopeville Crescent, Nikon Estate.
Please hurry, my wife has been badly wounded”
Yes, I didn’t mention how she was wounded because let’s not forget that we were dealing with the Nigerian Police force.
I had to control the narrative.
I sat there with my wife until the ambulance came. I was holding her hand until they rushed in and grabbed her.
As they placed her on the gurney and moved her to the back of the ambulance, I wanted to climb in. They told me not to.
Instead, I was asked to meet them at the hospital.
Distraught, I rushed into the house to change my clothes and grab my car keys.
As I made it into my room, I heard Desmond’s voice call out.
“Akins (my nickname) where you dey?”
“I dey room, my brother”
He rushed over and opened the door.
He started saying
“Guy, you good? You got me hella worried…”
His sentence trailed off when out of the corner of his eye, he noticed the blood in the bathroom and the blood-soaked carpet with my footprints.
His face was washed with a mixture of concern and fear as he said
“Akin, what happened?”
I kicked off my shoes and without looking up, I replied
“I’ll explain in the car”
“Guy, that’s what happened…
..I still can’t even explain it”
I concluded the story as Desmond drove us to the hospital.
“Like, all I remember is that I went to the Nkwobi joint and I got a few drinks and I headed home. I don’t even remember doing anything else.
I at least remember laying on the couch but that is about it honestly.
Like everything feels like a dream bro, a very bad dream.”
I paused, then I said
“…bro, I legit thought she was dead yo. Like I don’t even know man”
Without taking his gaze away from the road, Desmond said
“This is crazy bro. I don’t even know what to say.
Like why would anyone want to hurt Lade? Or you guys?
This shit doesn’t make any fucking sense”
I just shook my head in response, I was still looking for words.
We pulled into the hospital and made our way into the lobby.
The receptionist asked
“How may I help you?”
“My name is Mr OlaOluwa, my wife was just rushed in a little while ago”
She looked down at her computer and said
“May I see some identification, please?”
I tapped my pocket instantly to pull my wallet and I remembered I had left it in the car.
“Oh it’s in the…”
Before I could finish my sentence, the door opened and our private doctor, Dr. Mensah walked in.
“Stella, let him through.”
She smiled sheepishly as I approached the doctor.
He shook my hand and continued
“She is in surgery already.
The surgeons are hopeful but it’s tricky. She had lost a lot of blood before she made it here.
What really happened?… Come over this way, let’s talk in my office”
He motioned to Desmond and I.
As we walked to his office, I spoke
“I met her like that this morning doc. I myself don’t even know what happened.
I slept on the sofa.
But I don’t know, I would have heard if someone had come in while I was sleeping and I remember locking the door. I don’t even know”
We sat down as the doctor was exploring the options with us when we heard a knock on the door.
He replied and said
“Come in, please”
The door opened and three policemen let themselves in.
One that appeared to be senior spoke first and said
“We are here to see Mr. Olaoluwa.”
I turned and said
“Yes, that’s me”
He continued and said
“My name is Sergeant Dosunmu from Area 14 Jakande police station. We have some questions regarding the shooting of your wife.
We will like you to come down to our station for some questions and to give a statement”
I didn’t even argue, although Desmond was about to.
I thanked the doctor and said
“Doc, thank you for your help. Please keep me posted.
D- abeg call my lawyer. Tell him to meet me there”
The ride to the police station was weird.
I wasn’t nervous because I hadn’t done anything, I think I was concerned because, like I mentioned before, this was the Nigerian police.
The whole thing could have gone in many different directions.
I just kept thinking about Lade.
As we sat down in the interrogation room, the sergeant first started speaking to me.
“Sir, tell us what really happened”
I sat up and I said
“I woke up this morning and I noticed my wife in a pool of her own blood.
That is all I remember”
The sergeant and the other policeman in the room looked at each other and said
“That is all you remember?
Don’t you live in the same house with your wife?
Did somebody come into your house and shoot her without your knowledge?
Sir, tell us the truth. What really happened?”
Slightly annoyed and confused, I responded
“What do you mean?
I just told you everything”
The second officer came closer to the table and said
“If you tell us the truth, we can help you. That is why we are here.
The police is your friend”
I scoffed and said
“I told you everything. Why would I want to kill my wife?”
The sergeant replied
“Maybe you were cheating on her?
You know how you young men in Lagos are. You cannot stay in one place and keep it in your pants.
Or maybe you fought each other? Or maybe she was the one sleeping around?”
I growled at that statement and postured forward.
Instantly he said
“Calm down jare, we are just doing our job”
I took a deep breath and said
“Look, gentlemen, I love my wife. I was not cheating on my wife. We just got married six months ago for crying out loud.
We love each other and we go through things like any couple but why would I want her dead?
Besides if I shot her, wouldn’t I have left her to die instead of calling for help?
We had a small fight yesterday but it was over nothing serious. At least not serious enough to shoot somebody”
The second officer, I never quite got his name, pounced on my last statement but laughed first and said
“So you and your wife fought?!
Why did you fight? Money?
You cheated? IDP go tell you, people for this Lagos dey marry and cheat o. ”
I was about to answer when the door opened.
My lawyer, Mr. Ezebuike walked in.
He didn’t make eye contact with me but he said
“Unless my client is under arrest for something, we are leaving”
The sergeant said
“No he is not. He was just telling us how he shot his wife over money.
How much was the money? Let us see your account.”
My lawyer chuckled and said
“By himself, he is worth over 100 million naira. Not even including what his family owns and what he stands to inherit when his father passes.
Gentlemen, I trust you are doing your job but my client is not a suspect, so we are leaving now.
If you need access to the residence or anything else, please feel free to call me anytime.”
He motioned to me and I stood up.
We walked out of the station.
As we walked towards his car, he did not say anything.
Once we got to the car. He placed his hands on the hood and looked at me.
“I am going to ask you two questions. I trust you will be completely honest with me”
I nodded and he said
“How are you and did you shoot your wife?”
I looked at him square in the face and said
“I am still in shock and no, I did not shoot my wife”
He didn’t say anything else as he lowered himself into his car, then he spoke and said
“We need to figure out who did”
Pulling into the hospital, the sun was beginning to set.
I was still able to spot some familiar cars as I made it in.
As my lawyer and I walked into the lobby, Desmond and some notable faces were there.
Lade’s parents were there along with her younger sister and half-sister.
I approached them and greeted them.
I did not get the slightest sense they thought I would harm their daughter whom they knew I loved so much.
“Akin, how are you holding up?”
Lade’s father asked me
“Chief, I honestly don’t know. This is all still a shock to me.
It feels like a dream”
He placed his hand on my shoulder and said
“All will be well.”
That was him in a nutshell. He was never too flustered.
I liked that about him and hoped to be like that one day.
I can’t remember what was being said when the doctor and someone who appeared to be a surgeon walked out.
We had been sitting there for about 3 hours.
He approached me and said
“Sir, can we speak to you in private please?”
I stood up and said
“It’s okay, these are her parents and siblings. You can tell us what is going on”
The surgeon spoke and said
“Thankfully, we were able to retrieve the bullet fragments lodged inside her.
She is stable although in an induced coma. We expect her to recover. She is very lucky to be alive at all. Especially with the amount of blood she lost and how long she was there.
We also have to check for brain damage due to the lack of oxygen to the brain that may have occurred while she was laying there.
Like I said, she is medically stable and we hope for the best.
But sir, she lost the baby.”
All I could hear was air. Like air pressure in a plane.
I sunk to my knees. My eyes welled with tears and I coughed up the words. I asked
“She was pregnant?”
Her mom, hysterical and in tears jumped in and grabbed me to hold me up, while she said to the doctors
“He didn’t know yet”
I looked up to her. My eyes filled with tears as I wailed and said
She nodded sheepishly.
My heart completely shattered.
LEAVE ME A COMMENT ABOUT HOW YOU FEELING OR WHAT YOU THOUGHT ABOUT THIS PART.