Made For You by Niia
PLEASE CATCH UP ON PART 2 of the “PAINS” series first HERE
The pages turn
Each new experience
Like a marker to denote that particular stage
The memories vary
Exploring you as a person
Pulling you here and there
Sometimes into a new phase
Love and loss
Your outcome can be unexpected
Like the outcome of a coin toss
But with each breath you build more
Pains will come forth
But your heart is your greatest asset
It is in there
You can truly understand your worth
And it is beautiful
. . . . .
I just couldn’t sleep.
Dele was next to me snoring away while I just thought back. I couldn’t blame him.
It was 3 am and I had spent the better part of the night complaining to him and Tolani about the situation. Dele had comforted me but here I was awake again.
He told me that he would accompany me to speak with my father.
I couldn’t appreciate him enough but I just kept on thinking.
My dad was not the one to want to remarry.
Or so I thought.
I couldn’t help but think back to that night at the palace with my father and my aunt discussing.
I felt like my aunt had a hand in this whole thing.
Oh how I couldn’t stand her.
I remember when we returned to Lagos after my mother’s burial.
My father went back to work in full force.
And he asked me to go and live with my aunt.
His reasoning was that I needed to be around people that made me happy.
Because he invested so much time into his work, he didn’t want me to feel neglected.
So off to my aunt’s house in Ijegun I went.
I was only supposed to be there for the summer break but it was somehow extended.
Living with my aunt was hell.
My cousins were fine and a pleasure to be around but my aunt herself was annoying.
She would always pick on me and ask me to do things for her when she could have asked her maid or her children.
It’s hard to explain now but there was a time that I was so depressed because I lived with her.
Every time I tried to explain to my father, he would look at me like I was lying. But I knew what I was up against anyways, it would have been hard for anyone to believe that his sister was mistreating his princess.
I remember one evening that highlighted how much I hated her.
It was a Saturday and she had distributed the chores to us in the morning before she left.
Upon return, some of the work though completed, was not completed to her satisfaction.
So when we all went as a group to ask for money to go and see a movie, she blantantly said
I was fine with it because we somewhat deserved it. I went into my room and took a nap.
I woke up about an hour later and I came out of my room.
Everyone was gone, except my aunt.
“Aunty, where did they go?”
She looked at my from head to toe and said
“To the movies”
I was shocked and trying to wrap my head around how that happened and I said
“Aunty, how come, I really wanted to go”
She sat up and looked me dead in the eyes and said
“Do you think you deserve to go to the movies?
Come on go to your room and find something to do”
It really did.
And imagine, I had just woken up, so going back to sleep was almost impossible. I was furious.
I missed my mom and I just lay there, knowing that if she was alive, I would never have gone through all that.
I called my dad and he listened but I still stayed there.
This time around I was hoping he would listen and act.
We came to the studio where my dad was working to have lunch with him.
He had the food ordered in and we just sat there, going through small talk stuff.
And then I opened by saying
“Daddy, you know how much I love you.
But I am not sure about this you remarrying thing”
There was surprise written across his face.
He finally gathered himself to say
“Bola, how.. how.. how did you find out?”
“Daddy, is that what matters right now?
Why are you getting remarried?
Is this aunty’s doing?”
He was taken aback and he became defensive of her as he said
“No, no, no, no…
This has nothing to do with her.”
He sat up straight and said
“This is for me.
You are all I have but you will soon become all Dele has.
Your mother used to be all I had and God knows best but she now only resides in my heart.
I would have never thought that I would meet anyone to replace your mother. And I am not replacing her but this woman makes me happy.
And Bola, I need to be happy.”
I sighed as I could see the sincerity in his eyes.
“I actually wanted you to meet her first but I guess the word travels fast.
Bola, she makes me smile.
She cares about me. She respects me.
And I know she will adore you.
I am not looking for someone to be your mother, I am looking for someone to love me and be my partner as Dele is yours”
I understood him.
But I had to make sure that my selfishness was understood.
“Daddy, so you’re promising me that you are not trying to replace mummy?”
He smiled and got up.
He walked around the table and got down into a squatting position.
He held my hands and looked into my eyes and said
“Bola, It was always about you and your mom. I am not the star of the show but I never wanted to but I am getting older and I need love. You are the star of a family, but I am a forgotten man. Your mother was everything to me and you know she would not be replaced ever but I need to attempt to enjoy some facets of life without her.
You are my heart and I will like your blessing before I proceed but I want you to know that your mother will remain the greatest woman in my life because she gave me a legacy, she gave me love, she gave me happiness and most importantly, she gave me you.”
I couldn’t help but smile.
I burst out laughing after he said
“Excuse me ma, teacher… can I please get up?”
I nodded and he planted a kiss on my forehead.
He smiled and pressed a button on his intercom and said to his secetary
“Wumi, can you please ask Abike to join us in my office?”
He turned around and smiled.
I smiled and swiveled my seat as I said under my breath
“No babies sha.”
I gave Dele a high five as we laughed to my response
“Weef.. Weef… In the Lavest”
My dad stood there confused but more surprises were in store for all of us.
. . . . .
Most Sundays were the same. The mornings filled with lifted hands at church and the lifting hands from frying pans as you avoid the hot oil.
Sundays are synonymous with rice day, so plantains were an essential part of the process.
I was in the kitchen frying the plantain while Tolani was on the phone with her new boyfriend, Sadiq.
The whirlwind ride they were on was actually very cute to watch. It reminded me of when Dele and I first started dating. Well more accurately, when I first started to fall in love.
Every joke was funnier.
It was actually very refreshing to see Tolani happy.
I put all the plantains in the basket to drain all the oil.
Dishing in the rice into the bowl as I led to the dining room to table the meal, I was actually thinking of a bottle of wine that I really liked.
I was hoping that Dele had remembered to buy some.
I placed the dishes on the table and I stood back up. I must have done it too fast because I began to feel nauseas.
I held my head for a second.
This had been happening frequently the last few weeks but I figured it was just work stress.
Today felt a bit off.
I walked into the living room to find my best friend cupcaking on the phone, and I said
“T-baby, you get any more of those nausea meds?”
She didn’t hear me the first time, so she said
“Sadiq, hold on”
She turned to me and said
“What did you say love?”
I motioned touching my head as I said
“Do you still have any more nausea meds?”
“Oh yeah, they are in the meds bag on the counter over there”
Pointing to her cabinet in the dining area.
Then she followed up and said
I stopped in my tracks and said
“I don’t know. I’ve been feeling off the last few weeks.
And just lightheaded but I think I just need to drink more water and sit down”
Tolani gave me a look and said
“You sure it’s not the work you’ve been getting”
I turned and said
“you know I haven’t seen my stuff, even though I switched to the water pills?”
Her eyebrows raised, she smirked and said
You might want to check that out”
I laughed and turned my head, now facing her, I lowered my voice and said
“I think I would know if I was pregnant”
so Sadiq on the phone wouldn’t hear
She scoffed and said
“Sha use the pregnancy test I the bathroom, in the bottom drawer to the right. Just to be sure”
I popped the pills and I placed the glass on the bathroom sink as my mind now began to race.
Dele and I had been having unprotected sex for some months now. And the entire world knows that birth control pills are not a 100%.
I picked up the stick and looked at it before I glanced at my phone, it had been 3 minutes.
I looked closely to the observation panel on the stick and it had two pink lines on it.
My heart dropped.
Tolani was right.
I looked at myself in the mirror and took in a deep breath.
I heard the car pull up, Dele and Sadiq had just arrived.
I stuffed the stick in between paper towels and I washed my hands. I fixed my hair and straightened out my clothes.
Stepping out of the bathroom, Tolani was standing about 5ft away and she came up to me.
She could tell from my face as she gave me a hug. She squeezed me tight and then said
“Are you going to tell him?”
She looked at me and said
Tolani opened the door and the guys greeted us,
Dele came up to me and said
“Hello my Queen”
as he gave me a big hug.
My heart slowed down. This was safe.
We felt safe in his hands.
Thank you for reading and commenting. You are highly appreciated.
Lookout for Part 4 of Pains next week.
© 2015 #WhatTheHeckMan