How Would You Know Your Life Has Changed?
If your life changed—actually, let me rephrase—when your life changes, how would you know?
I always find it curious and interesting for us to understand the markers in our lives that indicate change. Does it mean more money? More access? A better friend group? A more accomplished circle? Maybe even more fame, to be honest. But I’ve come to understand that the change in our lives might not be obvious to everyone. If we drill down and look a little closer, we can often see significant indicators of how our lives have changed—or improved.
It’s a little past noon. One team in England just won the Premier League title. We’re not going to say their names, but congratulations to my youngest brother and his team on their accomplishment.
My Uber is on its way. The Uber ride from Brooklyn to New Jersey—an eight-mile drive—is going to cost me $140. Now, somebody will probably ask me, “Why didn’t you take the train?” Well, the train would have taken me an hour and 40 minutes total. I guess there were some delays. But here’s the issue: it’s not about the money, nor is it about the time.
I feel a little bit feverish—just because I feel like my emotions and my heartstrings have been tugged significantly over the last few days. I’m not in New York for a great springtime event or to have night brunches, even though I was able to work one or two into the schedule. I came here for a more somber and sober experience.
But more importantly, being able to be here at this time is one of the most significant indicators that my life has changed.
You see, I came here to support someone I care about. And historically, when I think back to similar situations years ago, I was either the “I-support-you-with-prayers” or “that’s-crazy” type of friend. But being able to rise up and be present for my friend through this situation has reminded me that my journey is not linear—and that progress is not always directly connected to joy.
What I mean by that is: this situation is not joyful. It’s not joyful at all.
But being able to show up and wrap support around the people you love should bring you joy. It does bring us joy. By far, it’s one of the biggest indicators that my life has changed.
Like I said before, whether it was long-distance friendships or even relationships or family situations that had you on the other side of the world when your closest people were going through important things—something about being able to be physically present, and not just physically present, emotionally present… to have the emotional capacity, the bandwidth, the empathy—all of those things are signs of growth.
For me personally, empathy has been one important sign of growth. When I was much younger—or even a few years ago—whenever something would happen, my first thought would be, “Oh, that sucks for that person.” But then I would be so invested in what was going on in my own life and in my own world that I don’t know that I was always the best at showing up or supporting the person in the way they needed.
So you can imagine that this bumpy ride to the airport has given me much-needed perspective and gratitude—even in sadness—to be able to say thank you to God for how much my life has changed, and for how much the lives of those around me have changed.
Pivoting here—I have a question for you.
How would you know that the person who loves you, loves you?
Yes, there are days where I see couple pictures on Instagram or Twitter, and I honestly just roll my eyes because… are you the first to be happy? But I’ve come to find that as we go through our hierarchy of needs, community and companionship become significantly more important as our lives evolve.
And some days, I want that. I don’t want it at the expense of my individuality, nor do I want it at the expense of my sanity.
But how would you know that you are loved by someone romantically?
I’d love to find out from you. So if you could, write it in the comments section. It could be how you knew somebody you cared about loved you. It could also be how you found out that someone you cherished prioritized you.
I’d love to know. So leave it in the comments section.
I think that as I get older and wiser, it’s important to understand that love doesn’t always show up in the forms we’ve been conditioned to appreciate—whether through Disney or even through watching our own families. Oftentimes we love to try to map our own story based on what we’ve seen—our parents, our uncles, our aunts, or even our friends.
But the truth of the matter is: your love story, for what it’s worth, has to be unique.
Your love story has to be what you want it to be and what you make it to be.
More importantly—and I’ll say that again—your love story has to be what you make it to be.
So if you want romance, if you want to be swept off your feet—be light on your feet to be swept off. If you want romance that is divinely expressive, full of love through words and actions, well—get that muscle ready.
Start writing so you can be the lover you want to be. Start writing so you can be the lover you want for yourself.
Too often today, many men and women are not the version of themselves that they would date or want to spend the rest of their lives with—but they demand that in other people.
It’s important that before the requests or the demands become known, you have mastered being that lover for yourself. Being that truth for yourself.
So today I ask you: how would you know that you are loved?
But let me be more specific with that question.
How would you know that you are loved based on how you love yourself?
Something for you to think about today.
Last but not least—summer is coming up pretty fast.
By the time you read this, it will be the last day of April. You more than likely have maybe two months to get as close as possible to the body that you want.
Lock in.
Not just lock in mentally—lock in physically. Lock in financially.
Nobody has ever said this statement before:
“For summer, we go sweet.”
Not “For April, you go no.”
Lock in.
And have a great week ahead of you.
Tell me something you have in your life right now that you didn’t have in 2019?
What are your shareable plans for the summer?
How do you know when you are romanctically loved?
Till next time, stay up!
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You are highly appreciated.
#WordsOfWednesday
© 2025 #WhatTheHeckMan
You know you are in love with someone by how intentional the person is about everything that concerns you .
In 2019, I was very lost. But right now, I have clarity, found God again and moving with an awareness of self I could never replace.
You know you’re romantically loved by their actions and consistency, not just words. In how they show up and the tiny details that make you feel seen and heard. There’s also some comfort and safety that comes with it.