The Wordsmith 4
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Tiff by Simi
She was standing there stark naked. Like she was being punished in the town square like in the old days.
Water was dripping off her body and her nipples hard, as she stood there just staring at me in shock.
She stepped out of the tub and said
“You went through my phone?”
I scuffed with irritation
“That’s really your first line of response?
I didn’t even have to go through your phone. The message popped up by itself and yes I clicked it.
So tell me Asha, how long have y’all been fucking?”
I could tell she felt insulted by that statement. Asha was not the type but before Jasmine came into my life, I was never a cheater either.
So when you can’t trust yourself, you begin to question the standing of everyone else.
she snapped back.
“I have never done anything with Ben. And I can’t be responsible for the feelings he has or doesn’t have. That’s on him.
And yes, I was planning on hanging out with him tonight because I’m tired of being neglected by you.
You know how many times you have left my side in the middle of the night to go and have sex with Jasmine?”
My eyes grew big and my mouth opened
“Oh, so you thought I didn’t know?”
She laughed and continued
“What a joke.
I’ve known since the last time she came into town. I watched you battle between staying faithful and being with her. I can tell you love her deeply but what use was me confronting you.
Your heart was with her and I knew that until she let you go, you would never look away from her.
I was the one in a relationship but I was the other woman.
So forgive me starting to work on a backup plan”
My mouth was still open. I felt like I had been caught with my pants down. I was in shock.
All I was able to mutter to a naked Asha was
Before I turned around, I ran into the room and grabbed my keys before darting out of the place. I heard her call after me
I wasn’t sure why she was calling me but I wasn’t going to stay to find out.
I drove a few blocks down the street and parked by the waterside, my favorite spot.
Questions swirled around my head,
How did she know?
How much did she know?
How come she never said anything?
Did she got through my phone and see messages I sent to Jasmine?
Maybe this was the opportunity for Jasmine and I to become something without having to deal with heartbreak on Asha’s part.
I started the car and darted for Jasmine’s place.
I was sad about the Asha situation but I was encouraged by the fact that Jasmine and I would soon be able to stay together.
I pulled into the parking lot and there was a car there with a man sitting in it.
The door on the second floor to where Jasmine stayed was open, a few seconds later, she walked out, suitcase in hand.
It literally felt like I had been slapped in the face as I said
“You’re leaving again. Wow.
Why am I not surprised?”
She cut me off and said
“Marsh, what are you talking about?”
I looked at her and continued
“Asha knew. Since before your little stunt at the dinner, she knew.
She had been watching. She knew I was only giving her half of me.
And here you are running away again.
It so funny because even when I knew it was over between Asha and I, I saw it as a sign to finally focus on you with no regrets but you’re so selfish.
So fucking selfish!”
She walked down a few more stairs. There were now about 4 or 5 steps between her and the ground.
She stopped and looked down at me as she said
“Marsh, you know this place isn’t for me. You know everything out here triggers me and I don’t want to slip back into my old ways.
Besides, I never ask anyone for anything.
Expectations are the mother of disappointments”
I was stunned. What The Heck Man!
What was she saying?
“That’s a fucking cheap copout and you know it.
You know I’ve been your biggest support through everything. Even when your family turned on you. I was there!
At the hospital. It was ME!!!
You know what, you’re a lesson to me. I can easily say you have been using me this entire time. You come and leave when you please.
Have you ever taken me into account? Me!
My life, my goals, my dreams and how they are tied to you????!”
Tears streaming down my face. I couldn’t contain myself
“I have hurt so many women because of the “love” I had for you. Holding onto the idea of you
I basically became a cheater for you.
To think I undignified myself for you. You knew you had me, you knew…. That’s why you would come and go as you pleased knowing I would never stray too far.
But today, I give up. The tears are in my eyes but you don’t know what you have done to my heart.
I broke someone’s for you, I guess it’s only karma that you put took the dagger to mine.”
She just stood there as she slowly began to cry.
But I saw past all that emotion, I was so beyond that. I was so broken, that I couldn’t imagine loving again.
I was turning away when she said
I turned and snapped
“Shut the fuck up!
Don’t you ever call my name again in your life? You know what, I don’t even hate you. I just hope you get help. You definitely need it”
I was walking away when I noticed the wide-eyed “guy” sitting in the car.
I looked at him as he had shock written all over his face
I stopped briefly and said one thing to him. One thing only,
I got into my car and sped out of the parking lot not even glancing back to see her. My eyes were flooded with tears.
I felt so alone.
So stupid of me
How couldn’t I have seen it coming?
All those years; wasted.
And she just walked away like that!
My heart was crushed. I had lost everything in a split second.
In a heartbeat, everything I looked up to was gone.
I left Asha at my apartment and I clearly wasn’t returning there that night.
I drove myself to that hotel I had checked into with Jasmine the last time.
I wore my sunglasses the entire time while I checked. I could tell the lady checking me in was feeling the awkwardness of my appearance but I chose not to acknowledge it.
I knew she was even more surprised when I asked
“Is room 925 available?”
She looked up at me with some concern and I said
“It’s just that I have stayed in that room before and I would prefer to stay there again.”
“Oh okay. Let me see….
Well, it’s available. I guess it’s your lucky day”
I faked a smile and nodded.
Some lucky day indeed
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ALSO READ “Behind The Writer” here. Behind The Writer: http://wp.me/p3GjtC-hW
. . . . .
Of course I couldn’t sleep. I just lay there staring at the ceiling and playing back everything in my head. Form the interaction with Asha in the shower to confronting Jasmine. I just played all the years back.
I was juggling regret, pain, disappointment, loss, anger and love in my head.
Slowly, I picked myself off the bed and headed to the desk in the hotel room and I began to write to Asha.
My heart is in tatters
I struggle to find the words
To help close this chapter
You put my dreams to the sword
Failing to realize that all I had was love
I should have done more
Give you my all
You deserved that and more
But I was caught
Thinking I was in love
These words might seem like mere words to you
But they are the only things that ring true
It’s taken me this long to realize it
But I only want to be with you
I think I’m in love with you
There is nothing wrong in being in love with you
I wish we could go wherever you want to
Mistakes have been made
But it’s you I know
It is not mistake that you and I are meant to be together
I know I’ve hurt you and I don’t expect anything
But if there is still something
Let us fight for it
There words are all I have at the moment
I hope they convey my message
Time hasn’t stopped still
The pain I hope to heal
But I just wanted to let you know
This is how I feel
And you are what I need
I felt some level of relief once I was done and I placed my head on the table as I began to cry again.
And even from that night going forward, my relationship with sleep was never the same again.
I sealed the letter addressed to Asha and dropped it in the mailbox as I checked out of the hotel the next morning.
I returned to my apartment. It was empty.
Well, my things were still there but Asha was gone. You could tell that love had departed from that place.
Asha took all her things; her toothbrush, sponge, clothes in the drawer and even her special brown rice in the kitchen.
I just felt the emptiness really hit me hard.
The days were manageable. When I as at work I would barely think about her. Leslie was a great support at the office. She kept me smiling and I truly wouldn’t remember my situation until the drive back home or when I returned home.
Four months had passed since that night; I hadn’t heard anything from either one of them.
My anger towards Jasmine had waned. I was truly in love with her even if I knew we would never be together. I still cared but now from a distance.
Asha, well I never expected to hear from her again. So it made sense that she never reached out to me.
One evening, I returned from work and I just didn’t feel like being in my apartment by myself. I put my coat on and headed out for a walk.
I walked my normal route and soon found myself on the same bridge where I had met Jasmine years prior.
I just stood there for a second and took in the night-lights and the view.
I was continuing my walk when I turned and noticed a lady sitting on the ledge. She raised her head and looked at me and said
The biggest smile covered my face as I neared tears. I looked up to the skies and then down at her; the right woman came back.
Which one would you like to have come back Jasmine or Asha??
End the story how you would like it to have played out.
Thank you for enjoying “The Wordsmith” with me and Happy Birthday to the father of The Wordsmith!!!! MEEEEEEEEE lol.
CATCH UP ON MY PIECE: “Behind The Writer” here. Behind The Writer: http://wp.me/p3GjtC-hW
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