Mad Over You by Runtown
Standing over the kitchen sink and looking outside the window into the small backyard of the condo, my head was spinning.
Why was this my luck?
Why couldn’t I just fall for a man who would treat me right and not come with added stress?
You know when you are consumed by so much anger and you want to cry it out?
Like shed the tears before you act and do something you would regret.
I am not sure how long I had been standing there but I heard Tabitha walk into the room.
“Bella, is everything okay?”
I smiled and tried to play it off but in my mind, I was
“asking how in the hell could everything be okay?!
You just sprung a baby on me!!!!”
“How are you ma?
How was your trip?”
She smiled and walked up to. Complete disregard for personal space.
She stood a mere two fee away from me and said
“I see you trying to be strong and thats commendable. It is okay to be angry or disappointed.”
There was a sudden comfort in knowing she understood what I was feeling. She continued and said
“From what I am gathering, you didn’t know that Darrell had a child?..”
She then smiled and said
“If it is any consolation. Neither did he.
He doesn’t even know yet. So it is up to us, you and I, to figure out how to break it to him”
Suddenly, I didn’t feel like the focal point.
It wasn’t about me.
This man didn’t even know that he had fathered a child out in the world. He was only a few hours away from returning home and I had to figure out how to tell him that he would be a daddy…to two children.
“So Tabitha (she insisted I call her that), how do you know that it is Darrell’s and who is the mother?’
She sipped from her tea and set it on the coaster.
She leaned back in her seat and started
“I came back from a funeral about 3days ago. I was in the shower when I heard a knock on the door.
It took me a few minutes to make it out but when I did, there was no one at the door. Just this beautiful baby boy.
I could tell he was Darrell’s just from how draw I was to him. His eyes.
There was a birth certificate in the car seat and it was signed by Darrell’s ex wife but had his name listed as the father.
I pondered on what do but there was no way in hell that I was going to tell him that kind of information over the phone.
So I spoke to my pastor and booked a flight. And here we are.
I tried to contact her but she did not answer. She and Darrell never had a bad divorce, so I don’t know why she did this but here we are”
She sighed and picked up her tea again while she glanced over to the baby peacefully sleeping on the couch. He was beautiful.
Tucked behind a wall of pillows, he was just safe.
“How old is he?”
“His name is Devon”
I sat back in my chair and rested on my right side while my left hand rubbed my bulging stomach.
“I don’t know what to do Ms. Tabitha. I don’t know how to tell Darrell.
This is a lot”
She smiled and said
“There is nothing we cannot conquer under the sun. Besides, that is why I am here.
You will not be doing this alone”
I will be here with you”
There truly was something comforting about her. I knew there was a reason her son was so amazing.
She smiled and sipped from her tea again and then placed the cup down.
I was talking to my cousin on the phone up in our bedroom when I heard Darrell’s car pull up in the driveway.
My heart started to beat really fast.
I remember glancing at my Fitbit on my left wrist and exhaling.
Heading down the stairs, I caught a glimpse of Ms. Tabitha.
She was standing by the front door.
She smiled as I approached and she stretched out her right hand and squeezed my left hand.
I was nervous.
The door opened and Darrell stood shocked in the doorway.
It was as if he couldn’t believe that his mother was standing there.
She moved closed to him and opened her arms.
He leaned in and took in her hug.
“Mom, what are you doing here?”
She smiled and said
“I came to see my son”
as she patted him on his cheek.
He placed his bag by the bookshelf to the right of the door and kissed me on the lips as he said
I forced a smile and he caught it.
“Whats wrong babe?”
Before I could respond, his mom said
“D, come sit down. I need to talk to you”
He looked at me with a slight frown and said
as he took his seat on the couch.
I sat on the loveseat closest to his mother as she started talking.
“So a few days ago, it came to my attention that you have a son.
You ex wife dropped him off at my home and here I am…
There is a lot more to the story but I am sure you know it better than either one of us.
The child is here with me because I wanted you to know and meet him. I can fully step up and raise him like I did you.
I totally understand wanting to start afresh with Bella. But I wanted to make sure I let you know”
Darrell looked stunned.
It took him a moment to process and then he said
“So she lied when she said she miscarried…
I wanted to get up and go to him but I also knew that he needed space.
He looked like he was angry and shocked at the same time.
But true to character, he took a deep breath and said
“Where is my son?”
His mother pointed to the guest room.
The way Darrell held him, I could tell. I could tell that through all the mistakes I made with Mfon, this was the man.
Tears began to roll down his cheeks as he kissed Devon on the forehead.
He turned and looked at me and before he could speak, I said
A wry smile and the tears streamed down.
He was proud.
There was going to be an aftermath to this event but in that moment, all that mattered was the moment.
He loved that child from the moment he set his eyes on him.
And I loved him even more.
Ms. Tabitha returned home and then came back to stay with us.
As I neared delivery and Devon moved in, I needed extra hands and she was truly my rock.
A perfect mother in law and I couldn’t be more thankful.
A new chapter was upon us and my structured story seemed like it was being written on a fresh page, filled with color and love.
Everything was happening fast.
I was so excited for my future and the challenges to come.
I essentially was raising two new borns at the same time.
I think it was shortly after my sister had posted my pictures from the maternity shoot, but I received a call that shook me.
It was Mfon.
He called that afternoon and we spoke for a little while.
In that conversation, he apologized.
He told me that he saw my pictures with Darrell and he could tell I was happy.
Him not signing the papers was only because he could not come to terms with the fact that he let things get bad between.
I urged him to seek help and follow his heart.
If he wanted to be loved by the same sex, he should live his truth.
He told me that he had sent the papers over.
And that I could come and take whatever items I wanted from the house, as Darrell and I moved into our new home.
It made me chuckle because that was how he was. Trying to do the sweet thing.
But it was unnecessary.
My life had moved forward and I didn’t want anything from the past to follow on.
Our chapter closed and that was the last time we spoke.
Darrell was facing his own challenges with his ex wife. She was being very difficult and trying to start a custody battle with him over Devon.
Even after she dropped him off!
I was furious but Darrell always told me not to stress.
One evening I heard him yelling on the phone to her
“…you just want Devon because Bella is being a better mother than you would ever be!
You gave him up! and now you want him back?!
No way… take me to court!
I will fight this with every bone in me! I can promise you that!”
When he came up to bed that night, I didn’t say a word.
I kissed his forehead and told him I loved him.
I knew it wasn’t the solution he sought but it was the best I had.
PLEASE DON’T FORGET TO SELECT MY NEXT SERIES BELOW.
A few days later, my life changed.
My status changed and my world began to orbit around another. My daughter and heart; Daisy.
I will never forget the pain and strength it took to arrive there.
Everything I had been through to that point was a precursor to where I needed to be.
Divorce, heartbreak, betrayal, restarting.
None of it came close to those moments when they asked me to push and I had past my limit of pushing.
But somehow as a mother, you dig deep.
Deeper than you have even gone.
You get lost in the love and life you bring that you forget the pain the world tries to make you see.
I fought for Daisy.
But I had fought for her before she was conceived.
This was Mfon’s child as well but she was all mine.
So here I was through all I stayed through, trying to hold my last marriage together.
I was about to start a family with a man who fathered a child with another and I was bringing a daughter that shared another father.
But it was my story and as I lay in that recovery room with Daisy in Ms. Tabitha’s hands, I was content.
Gathering my strength back, Darrell came up to me and sat next to me.
He leaned in and kissed my forehead as I forced a smile.
He smiled and then got serious as he said
“Bella, I am proud of you.
Through everything you have been through
You have been a rock
From every turn
And how life tried to make you stop
You conquered all
You are woman
A fighter and a warrior
A beaming torch in dark world
You are a mother to these kids and to me
And I promise to love you like its the first time
I swear I will”
My eyes filled up.
I couldn’t say much but
“Darrell, I fucking love you”
He smiled and said
“Shhhh…we have kids now!
You can’t be using that kind of language”
A few minutes passed and then he said
“Oh babe, I noticed there was a huge purchase on the Chase credit card, was that you?”
I laughed even harder.
He smiled but looked surprised and then he said
“Whats funny babe?”
I continued to chuckle and then I stopped and said
“Let’s just say that someone’s ex wife will be receiving a huge delivery of expired baby food”
Still confused he said
I squeezed his hand and said
“Don’t worry my love. Don’t worry”
It clicked for him and he said
You are so petty!”
I smiled, shrugged and said
“At least, I’m still beautiful right?”
He nodded and leaned in for a kiss as he said
“Yes you are. Oh yes you are”
Bella is a story of triumph and glory. A thank you to women.
To those that stand firm and fight hard. For what they believe in and what is right.
There is a Bella in all of us. She went through so much. Life threw curve balls at her and she stayed strong. Think of your life, your 2016 and how many times you have falled but gotten back up. How many times did people do you wrong and expecte you to fail?
You are a fighter and a winner.
I wrote Bella for the women I know in my life that have been through one battle or another and those who are striving for better each day.
Your strength is life and life will favor you.
Never give up.
Be less petty.
And always happy.
Bella is my gift to you. Your true beauty is a gift to the world.
~New series drops on Saturday! Do not miss it~
Thank you for reading and commenting. You are highly appreciated.
© 2016 #WhatTheHeckMan