Bella 2

With You (feat. Maleek Berry, Stonebwoy & Eugy) by Juls

Part 2


My tongue went dry. My eyes started to water.

“Don’t cry. Don’t cry”

I was trying to tell myself that tears in this moment would only signal guilt.

I was really trying to hold it together.

But I couldn’t.



he snapped.

I shook in position. His voice was like a jolt of electricity through my body.

“I can explain”

I muttered.

He scoffed and said

“Well I’m counting on it. Go on.

Who was that?”

I just couldn’t imagine another lie.

So I came clean

“Babe, I promise I never did any of this to hurt you.

You have to believe me… before our wedding… a few weeks before, I slept with Chibuzo.

I promise you, I was drunk and I can’t even remember half of what happened that night. I just know he came over and he and I had a thing before you and I, so I assume that we had sex.

Baby I am sorry”

His face was blank.

I could see the rage I was so familiar with, growing inside of him.

“You did what?!”

“Baby, I am sorry. It was a mistake.

It was one time!”

My voice pitched as he swung his right arm at me.

I ducked but not fast enough as he caught me right behind my neck.

The last I remember was my head striking the ground.

Lights out.


When I opened my eyes, I was stiff.

There was a cast around my neck. I slowly opened my eyes and tried to find my bearings.

Bed.. Hospital lights… I lifted my right arm and noticed the tag with my name on it.

I was trying to retrace how I landed there but nothing was coming to me.

The door opened some thirty minutes later and it was my doctor.

I knew who he was at least.

“Bella, you are awake.

How are you feeling?”

“Ummm…I don’t… I don’t know”

I replied as I straightened out while trying to look at him to my left.

He came close and pulled a stool.

He sat down with one leg on the stool and the other on the floor.

He smiled and said

“Thats normal”

Before he could continue, I asked

“What happened doc?”

He smiled again and said

“You had an accident. You slipped and fell.

You are lucky your husband noticed you quickly enough and brought you in.

It’s normal that you don’t remember everything that happened. You may be suffering from temporary memory loss and thats totally fine. Your working memory is still intact at the very least you remembered me as I walked in.

You just need to rest and you’ll be fine in a few days.

The cast is just a precaution with head injuries”

“Where is my husband?”

I asked

The doctor closed the folder in his hand and said

“He left yesterday when he brought you in. He hasn’t been back since”

“Thank you doc”

I replied.

As I moved to turn over, he said

“Bella, I have something I want to talk to you about”

“Oh really?

Whats going on doctor?”

I replied with some concern.

He placed the folder on the bed next to me and took my left hand into his hands as he said

“Bella, we ran some tests when they brought you in yesterday and I can say with certainty that you are pregnant. About 4 months along”

I was shocked.

I wanted to turn away.

i wanted to run.



Fuck no!

He continued and said

“Now, I know part of what I wanted to talk to you about was the fact that, I noticed some heavy bruising around your torso and some pretty consistent cuts along your right arm.

Coupled with the fact that this your 4th pregnancy that you have chosen not to take to term and your husband never being involved when you become pregnant, I am not sure how to proceed beyond ensuring you are okay.

Bella, are you having suicidal thoughts?

Is everything okay?”

A part of me laughed inside as a single tear traced down my right cheek as I turned away from the doctor.

“I’ll like to be left alone doctor”

I said with my back turned to him.

He got up and walked out quietly.

“Was I suicidal?”

That question was a joke. When hadn’t I been suicidal?

For the last two years of my life, I had been suicidal and close to death on many occasions.

I had aborted my last three pregnancies, against the knowledge of my husband.

Between him beating me, to the pressures of my career, and family breathing down my neck, I swore I would never bring a child into this world to witness that.

It would be unfair to them.

The red in my heart should course through them but they should never see the black beneath my eye that their daddy put there.

Or the tears I shed.

It was overwhelming.

And on many occasions, I felt like giving up. But I am not a coward. I have never been a quitter. So I fought harder.

Tried to stay positive.

But in many ways, whenever I found my feet, something would knock me down.

My husband never missing a target.

Two days went by and my husband understandably didn’t come by.

I remembered what had happened now.

In many ways, I am glad he had lied at the hospital.

I definitely did not want the hospital knowing that he swung at me because he found out that I cheated on him.

I mustered some strength on that evening to take a walk.

For most of the days, I was cooped up in my room.

As I made my way through the hospital, I was reminded of the value of life.

Seeing many people fight for it, I vowed to fight for mine.

For ours.

As I entered the garden, I sat down and watched the sun set. It was a calming feeling.

I knew I had to leave my husband.

But how was the issue.

His family would fight me and mine would be highly embarrassed.

I was deep in thought when I heard someone say


I looked up and it was Darrell.

“heyyyy, what are you doing here?”

I chanted out as I got up to give him a hug.

He smiled with that gorgeous smile of his and said

“I work here”

“Wait, I know you’re a surgeon but I didn’t know you worked here!”

I replied.

He kept smiling as he said

“Yeah, I consult for the State on some cases here. So I fly in for weeks at a time to get the work done.

And why are you here?”

I tried to hide but there wasn’t really much hiding that could happen with the huge white thing around my neck.

I don’t know what happened but I think it was because of all that I had been holding in, but I broke down.

Like down.

Everything came out.


Blown away.

He was shocked but slowly, he reached his hands around me and pulled me in.

For the first time in two years, I felt safe.

In the arms of a stranger.


“You mean if you told your parents, they would still blame you?”

Darrell asked me with disgust and genuine concern seated on his brow.

He frowned as awaited my answer.

“Nah, its more complicated than that.

And being that I cannot tell them the real reasons for it, it would be harder to accept, you know?”

I replied.

“I guess but damn, your family should bat for you regardless, you are their daughter. Fuck a nigga because he married you”

There was a silence.

The he spoke

“I’m going to extend my stay and you can come and stay with me if thats okay with you.

I definitely do not feel comfortable with you going back to that house”

I nodded as he pulled me in again.



It was had been almost a week since that evening outside the hospital with Darrell. I was living out of his condo and just trying to gather myself again.

The days were hard when he went to work because I was left  alone with my thoughts. But when he was home, it was amazing.

He was so smart and emotionally aware, I felt like I was talking to a long lost friend.

I would occasionally temper my feelings with caution.

I definitely didn’t want to get caught falling for a man that I barely knew.

One night a lot changed.

he came back from a late shift a few minutes past 2am, I was watching Girlfriends.

I gave him a huge hug when he walked in and told him, I made some pasta earlier.

He told me he wasn’t in the mood for pasta and that he wanted breakfast food.

I started walking towards the kitchen to whip up some eggs when he said,

“Grab your coat. There is this late night breakfast spot that I want us to check out.”

I smiled as I ran up the stairs to grab my coat.

It may sound stupid but it felt like a real date or something of the sorts.

As we jumped in his rental car, I remember looked over at him while he backed out of the driveway.

He smiled and said


I smiled back and looked away as I said



That moment felt so real. It was everything.


We were waiting for the pancakes he raved about.

“I promise you. These are better than anything you have had”

He raved.

I laughed and said

“Being that I don’t really like pancakes, the bar isn’t set that high you know?”

He said

“Don’t worry, you’re just saying that now. You’ll testify in a minute”

I laughed at his confidence.

We chatted about his day which he told me was very heavy so he didn’t really want to talk about it.

I was fine with that.

I can’t remember what was being said but there was a moment when he went silent.

I looked up from my phone and noticed him staring at me.

“What are you looking at?”

I shyly asked.

He smiled and said


I could feel myself blushing.

My cheeks were so wide, I could feel them ready to crack  open into dance on an ashy beat to a Fela song.

He said

“I wish I could kiss you right now”

My eyes grew big.

He caught it and immediately apologized

“Im sorry if I overstepped”

He didn’t but I wasn’t going to seem easy.

I smiled and said

“It’s okay. I know you would love to kiss my awesomeness”

We both laughed.

He excused himself and went to the restroom.

I fiddled with my phone as he left and tried to play Words with Friends.

I wasn’t getting the word I wanted, so I gave up and dropped the phone, just in time for the waitress to place our food in front of me.

A few seconds later, he showed up

I joked and said

“You smelled the phone all the way from the bathroom huh?

With your huge nose”

He laughed hard and said

“Look these are legendary pancakes!

I would smell them all the way from Wisconsin”

He placed a few on his plate and drenched them in syrup.

He was about to take a firs bite when he froze looking up.

I didn’t first catch it until he said

“Dort turn around but I think I just saw someone you know”

I smiled and chewed on the food in my mouth as he lowered his fork.

“how do you even know who I know Darrell?”

He didn’t take his eyes off what he was looking at behind me.

I was backing the entrance to the restaurant and I badly wanted to turn around but he had said not to.

“I know this person off your Instagram. I know because I was stalking it at work today.

If I am not mistaken, Bella that is you husband with his tongue down another mans throat”

I almost choked on the last bit of pancake that slew down my throat.

There was no fluff in what he just said.

I turned around and got up.

Without saying a word, I charged towards that table with Darrell closely behind me.

Before I could even open my eyes, tears were following down my cheeks.

I stopped right in front of his table and said

“What The Heck Mfon!”

He was stunned. Frozen in place.

The whole restaurant was silent.

“What the fuck are you doing here with a man!

A man!!!”

I yelled at the top of my lung with spit and tears flying off my face.

He still didn’t respond.

“Answer me!!!!!”


I blacked out and reached for the cup of coffee sitting in front of them and launched it at his face.

Unlike when he swung at me, I didn’t miss. I connected square on his face as he screamed and squealed at the burn from the coffee.

If I was ever afraid of going to war regarding my marriage, it was all gone now.

Battle line?


Only offering to appease me?


Till death do us part we agreed?

Well I was now death, and I would not stop until I tore him apart.


Till next week for Part 3, Stay Up!

Follow @adewus4real

Thank you for reading and commenting. You are highly appreciated. 


© 2016 #WhatTheHeckMan

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Bombshelter by Nnabu

The cabinet closed and I finally sat.

As I strapped in, I let out a huge sigh.

I looked over to my right as the older woman next to me said

“You made it?”

I didn’t reply.

I was still trying to catch my breath. But yes, I made it.

As I waited, I just wanted this moment to pass.

Deep breaths.

Inhale and Exhale.

I closed my eyes, kicked my head back and l clutched my sides.

“Just get it over with.”

I thought to myself.

A few seconds later, there were faint voices and I took another deep breath.


I heard a thud but I didn’t open my eyes or move. I clutched my sides harder.

With my eyes closed, I stepped out of the moment and back into a time.

It felt like a recoil of an old VHS tape. Momentarily stopping to take in certain memories.

It had been a long weekend.

Being out in the DMV to attend Monét’s wedding brought back so many memories.

We had graduated from law school together, passed the bar around the same time and even did our internships together.

Monét was more than a friend to me.

She was a sister I never had and one I loved dearly.

The thing with Monet was this; she was the last link to what my life used to be.

Our party days, men, our “reckless” nights, be daring moments…

Basically my past.

So anytime, I was around her, there were either pieces she was still connected to or memories that she brought up for me.

So this past weekend was bittersweet.

Monet finally got married to Victor and I found out they have a baby on the way.

I couldn’t be more pleased but the joy they shared only reminded me of what I once had.

The turbulence of my life in the last two years, met me at the height of my womanhood.

In peak position to dominate, I have had to contend with the challenges of womanhood on a completely different plane.

Through it all, I have maintained that my attitude will affect my altitude.

The “seat belt off” sign went off.

Tails up.


“Miss, you dropped this”

A deep voice bolted through my unconscious and tickled my ears drums.

I slowly opened my eyes and there he was.

Flashing that amazing smile, he stood over me and said

“You dropped this”

I looked down from his pursed pink lips and made a quick stop on his arms. Before traveling to his hand, where he held on to my Pink Lemonade Snapple drink.

He outstretched it to me and I said


He was supposed to walk away. This was his opportunity to turn around but he asked

“Can I sit?”

I smiled and shrugged and he sat on the aisle seat across from mine.

He wouldn’t stop smiling.

It bordered on creepy but the man was just so handsome, it could be forgiven.

It was his perfect teeth, his eyes almost disappeared when he smiled.

He had that deep baritone in his voice and he made amazing eye contact.

And he had the perfect lips, they parted and glistened as he licked them every often.

“Hi, my name is Darvell.

Whats your name?”

I smiled and said


He smiled as he leaned over and said

“Well nice to meet you Bella”

As he was about to speak, someone got up and made their way towards the back of the plane.

He leaned back and let them walk by but then he returned and said

“So where are you headed Bella?”

I tried to keep the conversation short as I replied


There was a scoff and smile as he replied and said

“Where is home?”


He smiled and responded

“This is my first time in Atlanta… Maybe you can show me around?”

I smiled and said

“I don’t think my husband would appreciate that”

“Oh you’re married?”

He answered with surprise laced on his perfect lips.

I smiled and lifted my left hand so he could see my wedding ring.

He looked even more surprised as he said

“I don’t see a wedding ring”

I looked down at my hand and noticed my ring wasn’t there.


Where did I leave it?

Oh I remember! I left it on the bathroom sink while I washed my face and tried to hide my tears.

The night before my trip when my husband had gotten into a huge fight.

I gathered myself and said

“Yeah, I just forgot it at home but I am married”

He chuckled and shrugged as he said

“Well forgetting your ring is not a good sign in any marriage.

But what do I know, I’m not married”

“How are you not married?”

I replied with surprise.

“Divorced. And no, I don’t have any kids because I know thats your next question”

I laughed and said

“You don’t know that!”

He was right.

That was my next question.

We talked about his work, his failed marriage, my job and my marriage as best as I would let him get. There was talk about my ambitions as a lawyer. Plans to become a judge.

And even favorite TV shows over the two hour flight from New York.

I would be lying if I said the conversation wasn’t stimulating.

He was just easy to look at and might I add, very smart.

The plane landed and he moved back to his seat a few rows behind me.

As we exited into baggage claim, he smiled and said

“I’m in ATL for a week, maybe we can grab coffee or you can be my tour guide. With your husbands permission”

I smiled and waved him goodbye.

A quarter of an hour later, I had my suitcase in my hand and I walked outside.

No sight of my husband.

I continued to call his phone and he didn’t answer.

It was cold and I was getting even more frustrated.

After about 10 more minutes, I realized he wasn’t coming.

I was washed with sadness and regret as I turned to my left.

There he was, Darrell, on his phone.

I walked up to him as he coordinated his ride.

I tapped him on his shoulder and he turned around.

As he liked at me he said

“Hold on”

to the person on the other side and then I said

“Can I still take you up on that coffee?”


Dinner was getting cold.

I moved it to the microwave, returned the juice to the fridge and refilled my glass of wine.

As I sat down not he couch watching Love and Hip Hop ATL, I scanned the room and let out a deep sigh.

This was not what I wanted.

I wanted nights tucked away in the arms of my hero.

Lately my mother had been encouraging me to stay strong. To keep my home.

But my heart was emptier than my 4 bedroom home.

Why was I being encouraged to stay?

And no one was telling him to fix up.

Why was I taking this?

I deserved better than this. I leaned back and down my glass.

A yawn.

An invite into the safety of my unconscious.

A singular expression of me.

Where the “us” was put aside and I could dream about the “me”.


I woke up a few hours later and realized I had fallen asleep on the couch.

I picked up the remote control and turned the TV off.

I slid on my slippers and walked up in the room.

As I climbed into the bed, I swamped the pillows and took the one  from his side.

I placed it down on my side and laid face down into it.

A long whiff from the pillow.

I missed him.

I could hear the clanking keys outside the door of our two bedroom condo, a few seconds after I heard the closing of a car door.

He Uber-ed.

Thank God.

He stumbled through the hallway and made it into the room. The door opened slowly as he noticed I was asleep.

I could hear him almost drowning in his breath, so he didn’t wake me up.

He stopped in front of the dresser and took off his jewelry and he set down his keys.

I stayed still and kept my eyes closed but I could hear him clearly.

Almost like I was directing his steps.

He flicked on the closet light which was behind me from how I was laying.

The light shone over me and hit the wall I was facing. I assumed he was changing into something more comfortable.

The light went off.

There was silence in the room.

And the shower went off.

As I heard him step into the tub, I quickly got up and walked into the closet.

I reached for this pants and immediately stuck my hand in the back pocket, pulling out his wallet.

I flipped it open and looked into one of it’s pockets.

It wasn’t there.

I checked the next one.

It wasn’t there.

I was beginning to panic. I turned the wallet and checked the next set of pockets.

As I put my finger into it, I felt it.

I immediately heaved a sigh of relief.

I pulled out the condom and examined it. I was still staring at it when the shower stopped.

I heard him getting out of the shower.

I placed it back the way it was and shoved his wallet back into his pants.

It was the fastest I had run in a while but by the time he was stepping out of the bathroom, I was back under the covers.

But I had seen something drop from his pocket.

There obviously was no time to put it back.

A few minutes later he was in bed.

He came up behind me and pulled me in.

He whispered “I love you baby”

I faked a sleepy voice and mumbled, “I love you too daddy”

He smiled as we spooned to sleep.

I could hardly sleep.

My mind kept racing about how we had gotten to this point after just getting married two years ago.

Here I was hoping if he cheated, he used a condom and playing detective.

This was not the life I wanted or the oneI chose.

I finally fell asleep.

The next morning, I was up.

I could not get up the whole night because he had his hand locked around me as he knocked out like a rock.

Once I was able to wriggle out in the morning, I tiptoed into the closet and scanned the floor.

I soon saw a white paper in the corner, inside a show.

I picked it up.

It was a receipt for chewing gum from a gas station. I flipped it around and noticed a number on the back.


He was still sleeping as I walked out of the room in my nightgown and into the living room.

I picked up the house phone and stared at the number.

I couldn’t wait but a part of me wanted to.

I didn’t know what I would find.

But also not knowing was killing me.

I was going to do it.

I dialed out the number and it began to ring.

And then someone picked up.

It was a man.

My eyes grew big as he said


I immediately relaxed. At least it was a guy.

And my husband wasn’t gay.

So whew!

I dodged a bullet.

I gathered myself and I was about to hang up when the man on the other end said


I almost choked.

How did he know my name?

I remember saying


I could almost hear his smile.

He said

“Well, I’m glad your husband gave you the message and my number.

Its been a while and I’m assuming by how surprised you are, he still doesn’t know.

We ran into each other last night and I wanted him to give you my number. Being as we grew up together and I haven’t heard from you since”

I was stunned.


What were the odds?

We got married in Nigeria and the last I checked, that was where he lived.

I uttered

“Chibuzo, its been a while.

Umm..  I don’t even know what to say”

He laughed and said

“You got married and ran away na.

Makes perfect sense. At least we had one last magical night before your marriage. I will never forget it.

Unless you’re trying to create another memory…”

“Thats not going to happen”

I immediately shut down the idea.

and then I continued and said

“That was a mistake I made before I got married and I love my husband.

I could never do that again”

As I finished the statement, I heard him say

“Do what again?”


I swallowed hard and slowly turned around.

It was my husband.

I heard the dial tone ringing through the phone as he had ended the call.

It was frankly that moment, that my marriage also ended.

Some important information for Part 2…..

Welcome to #WhatTheHeckMan. If this is your very first time you are visiting the blog, I appreciate you stopping by. You are now part of the family.
I hope you enjoyed what you just read. If you did and if you didn’t, please leave me a COMMENT.
I live for those comments and they inspire me to write more and create better content.

Bella walks us through the highs and struggles of a Black woman trying to find her balance in the a demanding and largely unfair world. But I tell you this, no single story written by me, follows one track. So get ready for a bumpy but exciting ride!

Again, welcome to #SanmiSaturdays and #WhatTheHeckMan.
I appreciate you and I am lucky to share my art with you.
Thank you.

Till next week, Stay Up!

Follow @adewus4real

Thank you for reading and commenting. You are highly appreciated. 


© 2016 #WhatTheHeckMan