At the time of writing this, I have been battling with an annoying cold/flu for 5days.
Being sick sucks!
And it sucks even more when you, had just taken the flu shot the week before to prevent getting sick.
That for me, highlighted one of the things I truly wanted to focus on this year.
Letting God have his way/allowing his will alone to be done.
I got the flu shot expecting to alter the happenings in my favor but nope.
That’s how life is.
But it’s funny that through sniffles and coughs, I am thankful for much.
God– This sounds like a cliche one but boy am I thankful for God. If only for taking the tears out of my eyes, I am thankful.
I closed out 2014, broken.
Unable appreciate love and life, I asked that this year, his will alone be done.
He has had my back, directed my path and opened doors I never expected.
He has kept me and you and for that, I am thankful.
Sanity of Mind– there are so many out there that have the things you and I pray for but have no sanity.
Insanity (no link to the grueling workout routine which I am NOT thankful for btw) doesn’t mean madness like in the last Nollywood movie you watched per se but it means I can still appreciate life.
Some have the money and they are watching their backs, have children who hate them, or family members that want them dead. But me?
I’m thankful for where God has me and where he is taking me.
Peace– I am thankful how much of this I have now but also using it to challenge God for more.
My relationship with God– I am thankful for this relationship more than most.
God is faithful and he does some amazing things. I have felt myself growing in him and I’m happy to be back serving in his house.
I have been accused of trying to “over religiousize” my life decisions but I fear not, he will do what he promised to do.
My Job– thank you. For the paycheck, friends made and the lives I have been able to touch. Lord, I thank you.
My Gift– by my count, WhatTheHeckMan has been around for a little over two years. In that time, I have written 23 series and a total of 143 posts. I don’t know where these stories come from. I’m not even sure how it is that I write them but God gave it to me and for this i am eternally grateful.
With my gift of writing and creativity, I have inspired people, motivated people, educated and challenged people. That for me is purpose related and I am thankful for the opportunity to be a vessel.
WhatTheHeckMan– it started off as an outlet to the get over a toxic relationship. But it led me to all these fabulous ones. I have formed and solidified some amazing friendships through this platform. The engagement and the fun we have on here, makes me feel out of this world.
The Comments– I am thankful for this section on its own because you guys may not believe me but you don’t know how much, how important your comments are to me.
I read them over, they make me happy. Even as I write these stories in the darkness and isolation of my room, it gladdens my heart to interact with you all.
I feel connected to the outside. To you, to your feelings on these things I create out of the blue. I thank you for validating my weird thoughts and storylines. Thank you for tolerating my weird twists, story lines and cliffhangers you love so much! 😊😊😊
Above all, thank you for growing with me.
Now to the people I love and I am thankful for.
My father– you are a man of integrity. A man with such a big heart. Inspirational to me in more ways than one. Daddy, I love you.
My mother– Amazing. My relationship with my mother has come leaps and bounds this year. And she has been soooo solid for me.
Never letting me fall or get too down. I am thankful for her following her dreams as they have inspired me too.
My mother is my angel and she’s a Dr. now! Awesome you say? I have to agree. 😊
My siblings– every year, I thank you guys for being worthy siblings.
For never letting me feel like a failure. You are all living lives on the path to greatness. Thank you.
I pray God will continue to grow you and uplift you. I love you sooooo much!
F.M.S– Thank you. Thank you for being the best friend I could ask for. We have had our ups and downs, battles about who’s efo is better but you are just immense to me.
I am thankful for your life and all the amazing things God has done and will continue to do with you.
And now, in no particular order
Being B– Thank you for chasing your dreams. I thank you for always being there. To listen, to pray, to motivate, to annoy me. Thank you.
The Saturday Morning show is a HIT. You’re still the right kind of annoying tho. 2016 project?
Can you be fixed??? 😂😂😂
Nn– the only human being that can call me at 2am and want to have a full conversation and I’ll allow it.
I have seen you grow so much this year and I thankful for you and everything God does with and thru you.
Keep on being awesome. Keep touching lives. You are truly beautiful inside and out. Live it.
Zuliha– I am most thankful for the heart God has given you.
It works and it feels the great things God has deposited into people and in the world.
I am thankful for your pure “naivety”. It shows that through everything you have been through, with how many times you have been scheduled to fail, you have pulled through and God will do more amazing things with you.
Oya stop smiling, it has do abeg.
The Nigerian god– loyalty. It is always important to have that person that will go to bat for you always. That’s this guy.
He found love and is not annoying as fuck! But he has a good heart and I am thankful for it.
Itafe– you are such a voice of reasoning and a peaceful person. I am thankful for being able toobserve and be inspired by you.
Thank you Fagbon!
Dr. K– Inspirational. In many ways. You have helped align an amazing 2016 for me. Thank you.
Chi-ekene– the belief, the patience, the rotund laughter. Thank you so much. It’s refreshing having you in my corner.
The Lucky 7– Brothers.
No man is an island.
These men, they remind me to never forget where I can from.
H-Nam:- my annoying realist. I am thankful for those real perspectives. I don’t always seem like I appreciate it but believe me I do.
The Bar– Art. Thankful for those heavy days. The safety provided for self exploration and growth. Your staying true to yourself.
O-Akin: you always seem so surprised at the end of each story. Cracks me up!
S-Oke: editor of life. Thank you for the late turn ins, the random requests. The feedback.
The friendship. You’re just super dope!
WhatTheHeckMan Crew: I thankful for all do you for various reasons but off the top of my head
Ife– for alway being annoying. Never commenting but still supporting.
Mhorackz– your expectations of the art, drive the art to better levels. Thanks
Sinmi– Where are my NBA babies????
9jamadea– lol shortest comments. But secretly with a ton to say. Love it.
Feli Feli– thank you for your dedication. And welcome to the family.
Chy– you gotta stay closer to home (the blog). It’s fun at the house.
And everyone else that comments, shares, retweets and such. You all have given me so much life in 2015.
I am thankful that I have the presence of mind to be thankful for the things God has done for me.
I pray thanks and celebration will never depart from our lips.
What are you thankful for?
Family, life, health, food?
Share with me and have an absolutely fantastic Christmas!!!
This was not one of those situations where saying a bit was enough.
I needed something big.
As I weaved through traffic, I was consumed by trying to figure out this thing and not so much guilt.
The guilt for what happened would eventually come.
But for now, I need these danfos (buses) to get out of my way and I need the Lord to come my way and save me.
As I turned the corner about 16 minutes from the venue, I finally figured out the first step.
I reached for my phone sitting in the cup holder and dialled his number.
He picked up on the first ring.
“Bro, please tell me you are outside”
He asked as I heard him make his way out of the room.
I cursed as I switched lanes and replied,
“Bro, I’m almost there.
I can’t explainnnnnnnnnnn”
Sayid was always the calm influence, he stopped walking, presumably now outside and in a “safe” space.
“Everyone thinks you got cold feet and bailed.”
I cursed again.
“Wura has been crying all morning and some people have been panicking.
How far away are you now?
I glanced at the dashboard clock and said,
“12 minutes max”
Get here as fast as you can. Your clothes are here.
I’ll inform Wura and the rest of the gang.
Hurry up bro”
The phone clicked and I dropped it on the passenger seat.
I heaved a huge sigh.
Part 1 cleared.
A respectable lie.
Oh don’t judge me! You’ve told a lie or two before.
Well isn’t that a lie.
My palms were sweaty as I put the car in park.
I hopped out and Sayid was right there waiting for me.
Some late guests were still arriving and making their way into the church.
I was scared.
Worse than the time I got arrested back in Canada. This one terrified me.
What was supposed to be the biggest day of my life, was now a huge mess and it was all my fault.
I ran into the room earmarked for the groom and his groomsmen.
Flipping my clothes, it was a complete makeover.
I went from looking like a cheating average man to the guy your company would bring in to complete a merger.
I was wrapping up the knot on the tie when I heard a knock on the door.
Without turning around and losing anymore time by walking to the door, I said,
The door opened slowly and Wura walked in.
“Diji, where the hell were you?!
I was worried sick!
Did you get cold feet?”
I walked over to her and placed my hands on her shoulders and said,
“Babe, I was robbed last night at gunpoint.
They took the car and threw me in the back. They took my phone and used my car to rob others.
They eventually drove me all the way to Mowe (a city 30 minutes outside of Lagos)
They kept me there with them all night. I begged them and told them I was getting married today.
It was only God in his mercy that allowed them to let me go.
I rushed here as fast as I could.”
She looked so concerned as she said,
“Oh my God!
Baby are you okay?”
“Im fine love.
I just need to hurry up and wife your beautiful self up!”
She smiled and I said,
“I love you baby.”
“I love you too”
“Now go back out there so I can come and make this official”
She beamed as she hurried away in her elegance.
I was a lucky fool.
I looked at myself in the mirror and whispered to myself,
“God please help me”
What was I to do?
Oh how I wish I knew.
Being married wasn’t as difficult as people have always made it out to be.
Between Wura and I, we began to come up with our own systems of doing things.
Communication was key and I honestly feel like being responsible for another allows us both of us, to do a bit more.
One of the things I loved about Wura as my wife was her effortless ability to drift within her roles.
From Marketing Guru to Home Manager; she was always on top of things.
Trying to make sure I was always happy and I truly appreciated her for it.
But there was something lingering in my chest.
Remember that guilt that I spoke about?
Yeah, it was consuming me. Preventing me from being happy with Wura.
I always wondered, “what if!”
What if she found out?
What if I got tempted again with Bimbo?
To be fair, it had been a month since I spoke to or contacted Bimbo.
We never even processed that night and what might have truly happened.
It was in the past and I wanted to keep it that way.
I was married now, with a new life and new approach. No need going backwards.
But I knew I had to let go of the baggage weighing on my heart.
It was 3:44am.
I lay there looking at Wura as she slept peacefully next to me.
How was she going to take what I was about to say?
Would I still keep my wife, my happiness?
My friend once told me that holding the truth from someone was down to human arrogance, to decide if someone deserved to be in the know.
I was scared and starting to doubt myself again.
I gently tapped Wura.
She didn’t move.
I almost took that as a sign to ignore it and just forget it. One more night to manage living a lie.
But something in me caused me to touch her again, and this time she slowly woke as I said her name,
She said as she woke up and cleaned her eyes with her left hand.
“What’s wrong babe”
I sighed and said,
“Nothing. I need to talk you about something”
She seemed more awake now as she said,
“Okay babe. Talk to me”
I almost chickened out but it was like I heard a voice in my head that told me to go on. So I did, I said
“Wura, I want to start by saying I am sorry.
There is nothing you did to cause this. This is all my responsibility.
I want to ask for your forgiveness more than anything.”
She looked puzzled as she tried to keep calm.
“Babe, talk to me. Whatever it is, we can work through it”
If only she knew, I almost wanted to say that it was impossible to just overlook.
And working through it?
Well that would mean a tremendous amount of work and trust.
I turned to my left and looked at her as I said,
“The night before our wedding.
I lied about bring robbed and lost. I went over to Bimbo’s house to talk.
And we ended up having sex. When I woke up in the morning, I was running late.
I wanted to tell you but I was torn between telling you and ruining your special day or keeping it.
But I am tired of keeping it. I wanted to start the rest of our lives with honesty and this has been eating me up inside.
…whatever you decide to do now, I completely respect.
it was my mistake and even though I can promise it will never happen again, whatever consequences come my way, I am prepared to face.
I just want you to know I am deeply sorry and I love you”
She was crying.
She just stared at me and kept crying. It was extremely scary because I couldn’t tell what she was going to say next if anything.
I just waited.
After a few minutes, I said
“Wura, please say something.”
The crying was replaced with sniffles as the tears dried.
She looked at me and said,
“Diji, it’s okay. We will talk more about it in the morning.
I can’t think right now”
I couldn’t believe it.
It almost felt like a joke, a very expensive one. But true to Wura fashion, she turned over and closed her eyes.
A few minutes later, she was breathing calm and sleeping away.
I couldn’t sleep.
This was a Yoruba woman, a true believer in what is right, sleeping next to me.
The rest of the night till she woke up for work at 6:45am, my eyes stayed wide open.
No sleep whatever.
I couldn’t risk closing my eyes and waking up on the other side.
That morning, as we got up, Wura greeted me and we quickly went about our preparations for work.
At about 7:15am, I was ready to start heading out the door as Wura followed closely behind me.
Normally, I would get in my car in the driveway and back up to either to leave for work or to move so she could leave.
We had a one car lane driveway.
As I reached my car, I didn’t attempt to give her a hug or kiss like I normally would before leaving.
As I opened the door to my car, I turned and said,
“Have a great day love. I’ll see you when I get back”
She smiled and said,
“Have a great day Diji but I won’t be here when you get back… I need some time alone”
There was no use fighting it.
No use trying to change her mind.
Wura was not easily swayed and trying to force her to change her mind would only make her more upset.
I lowered myself into my car and I slowly backed out of the driveway. I waved at her.
She lifted her hand and waved back.
That was the last I would see of her.
Three months went by.
Wura had been living with a friend of hers on the Island.
She had sent her friend to pick up some things when I wasn’t home.
Basically, we were separated.
I didn’t tell anyone about us being separated except Sayid.
He was the only one that truly knew what I was going through.
I had tried repeatedly to reach out to Wura but she blocked all my efforts.
I knew she was clearly sending a message.
She wanted to be left alone.
That evening, I met up with Sayid for drinks at a place near his house in Ikoyi.
Mid way through the conversation, he asked
“Do you think you guys are done?”
I feared the answer to that question as I replied,
“Bro… I don’t know”
He sipped from his drink and said
“…I think you need to know.
You have to earn her trust back if you want to stay married to her.
Leaving her alone won’t work forever. You have to aggressively show her you are sorry and ready to be better.”
He was right.
He was almost always right.
But where would I start from. I feared the vulnerability of begging her and being turned away but I wasn’t considering that I had just violated her vulnerability by my act of cheating.
Something needed to be done. And fast.
In an attempt to lighten the mood, Sayid switched the conversation to soccer.
He laughed as he said,
“You better go and fight for your wife since your team Arsenal can never seem to fight for the title”
A huge smile covered my face as I prepared to reply,
“….Abeg shift, all we need is a few more good players and we are ready to….”
My phone started to ring.
It was an unrecognizable number.
I reached down and Sayid said,
“Who is it?”
I shook my head as I said,
“I don’t even know”
I slid my finger across the screen and said,
The voice on the other side was short and concise.
“Hello Diji, it’s Bimbo.
We need to talk”
“BEHIND THE WRITER”
IMPORTANT NOTICE:“Behind The Writer” edition #2 is BACK. Basically, I will spend that piece answering questions all of you have for me during the week of my birthday in
So PLEASE LEAVE YOUR QUESTIONS IN THE COMMENT SECTIONS BELOW.
AS MANY AS 10 per person.
I’ll pick the TOP 25 and answer them for you all in that piece!
I’M DOING THIS SO ALL MY READERS, SUPPORTERS AND WHOEVER ELSE IS LEFT CAN GET TO KNOW THE WRITER A BIT MORE AND UNKNOWN THINGS ABOUT ME. You can also email me your questions at firstname.lastname@example.org
ASK ANYTHING. ANYTHING.
I LOOK FORWARD TO IT!!!
I made Sayid come with me that evening as we drove to Bimbo’s house.
I didn’t tell her he was with me but I wanted him there incase anything funny tried to go down.
I could sit here and lie to you but daughters of jezebel are everywhere and men can be so weak; sometimes.
Sayid was convinced that going to her house was a bad idea.
But I considered the fact that if I allowed her to come to my house and Wura ever found out, I would for sure be dead.
I wanted to get this over with.
We pulled up and I asked her to come and meet me outside.
As she walked outside, she noticed Sayid was in the car with me.
I rolled down the window as she said,
Sayid smiled and replied,
“Bimbo toh baddest!
Na you dey avoid us o!”
She laughed and said,
“you know thats not true o. Hows everything?”
“We thank Allah.”
Their greetings ended and Bimbo asked if she could talk to me in private.
I stepped out of the car and we walked about 15 feet away from it.
Bimbo started by saying,
“Thank you for coming in such short notice.
I really wasn’t planning on calling you.
You made your decision in getting married to Wura and I respect that… so this not an attempt to break you guys up or anything.
….I just wanted you to know that I am pregnant.
Before you ask, you are the only one I have been with since I moved back to Naij.
And I took multiple tests before confirming it at the doctors this morning.
I’m not expecting anything from you but I thought you deserved to know.”
I was in shock as I just stared at her.
She looked at me and said,
“Dj, are you okay?”
I gathered myself and said,
“Yeah..ya. Thanks for telling me.
I just need a moment to think”
Slowly, I turned around as she walked back into her apartment.
When I arrived in the car, Sayid asked me what had happened,
“She’s pregnant bro”
I answered as we turned onto the road.
I nodded as I said,
He said nothing else.
And his silence said it all.
I dropped him off and he told me he would swing by the next day.
The drive home was silent.
I kept thinking to myself.
This was bad.
It was for sure going to break Wura and I.
I cheated once and now that one time produces a child.
A part of me wanted to scream so loud but I would just look like a mad man on the streets of Lagos.
I just wanted to get home and hide under my bed.
And never leave the room.
As I pulled into the driveway, I noticed Wura’s friends car.
Oh maybe she came to pick up some stuff for Wura.
I sat in the car for a few minutes as I gathered myself before heading inside.
As I opened the door, I turned the corner to my right to the living room.
There were suitcases sitting in the middle of the living room.
And Wura was sitting on the couch behind them.
I looked at the boxes and then at her, speechless.
I didn’t even reply. My first reply was,
“Are you leaving for good now?”
She looked down at the ground.
My heart began to race.
How could this be happening today!
“Wura, are you leaving me?”
She looked back up at my scared face and said,
I’m coming home.
We have a lot to talk about and work through.
I’m not leaving my marriage.
I’m coming home”
I heaved a sigh of relief.
Hurriedly, I rushed over and gave her a hug.
She was reluctant to hug me.
She looked at me with a half smile and said,
“Diji, we have a lot to work on and deal with.
I am not giving up on my marriage especially over things that happened before we said our vows.
Does it hurt?
Hell fucking yes.
But God heals and I’m willing to work and let you earn my trust if you are willing too.
I honestly thought of running but what good is that…Trials will always come.
But one thing is for sure, I am not giving up on this union and my vows to you before God and man.
… I am also not giving up on our family”
My eyes grew big,
My ears a bit wider.
I thought I didn’t hear her right.
So I asked,
She smiled and said,
I am pregnant Diji”
My face suddenly dropped and I began to cry.
I just sat there and cried.
My heart was happy but I was terrified.
How could this be happening right now?
Life was dealing me a cruel blow and it was going to hurt even more.
Only a short while to go before the skies parted for the sun to arise.
You could hear the crows and their morning call.
In homes around the area, you could hear the moving engines that are people, as they prepared for the new day.
The keys clanked on the front door as I let myself in.
The cold from the Harmattan morning froze beneath my nails.
“I should have worn gloves.” I thought to myself as I dropped the mail on the receptionist desk. I was the first one here most days.
It was the safest place.
Cliche, as most people claim it as the home of their safety but it truly was that for me.
I have always had a questionable relationship with the church; or God.
But the events of the last few years have been truly humbling.
The way things moved or transpired, I continue to be amazed by how quickly it all changed.
And how everything I thought was not what it was.
I turned on the lights in the main auditorium.
Glancing at the huge wall clock behind me, the time showed 6:48am.
A few paces, and I was back to the technical department where I handled the visual display for the first service on Sundays.
Tuning things in preparation for the welcome chaos that was Thanksgiving Sunday, I realized that it was now 7am.
I needed to check if my brother, Dimeji, had woken up to get my sons Matthias and Tomas ready for church.
He was notorious for not waking up on time, the type to set 5 consecutive alarms to finally wake up.
I tapped my pocket and realized that I had left my phone in my car.
The keys to the church were sitting on the other end of the auditorium. I considered walking all the way across to grab them before going outside but I decided against it.
Figuring that if I left the door slightly open, I would make it to my car and back before the door could shut.
The phone was ringing as I walked back to the auditorium and then I heard it.
I looked up at the door, as I walked slowly, praying that somehow the door hadn’t shut itself.
By now, I’m sure you know how that went.
It was locked.
And there I was with my phone to my ear and then I heard Dimeji say on the other end in his slurred wake up voice,
“…What’s up bros?”
Get them ready ”
At that moment, the feeling of being stuck out in the cold was all too familiar.
I had made another wrong choice again but this time, someone would let me back in.
The last time I made a decision this big?
Well let me just tell you the story and you can decide how big your #WhatTheHeckMan would be.
“E gbe epo wa”
Roughly translating to “bring the fuel”
Voices piercing the skies laced with anger and discontent, in the familiar pandemonium that is Lagos. People gathered on the side of the street as the yelling continued,
I didn’t immediately run over to offer my help.
The truth here is that through my time living in this state or even country, I have usually avoided situations like this.
There is an unwritten rule in the state that is home to one of the largest economies in the world; “mind your business”.
I turned to the right and headed towards the quickly assembling crowd. I moved my phone to my pocket and began pushing my way through the crowd.
“E file na”
“Leave him alone”
The angry crowd beginning to douse him in petrol, getting ready to torch him for some crime.
I quickly gathered that he was alleged to have stolen a woman’s purse.
Neither the purse nor the full story were confirmed missing.
But in the streets of Lagos, you are guilty till proven otherwise.
“E fi sile”
Translating to leave him alone I said.
“Maa fun yin l’owo”
I yelled at the top of my lungs. A few things make Lagos and it’s inhabitants popularly known as Lagosians tick.
Money sits atop that list, never troubled.
My last statement caused some of the parties involved to slow down.
The man was drenched in petrol and all that really was left would be the unfortunate presence of some form of a lighter.
“Let the man go, I’ll give you money for the purse”
I repeated myself as they began to let go of the man.
One man looked at me, unwilling to give up this opportunity to right the wrongs life had put him through. He said,
You know him? Is he your family?”
I almost smiled at his weak attempt at resistance. I reached into my suit jacket and pulled out my check book.
The lady in question and her defence team now shifted their focus to me.
It really was a smooth transaction.
She claimed to have items worth 400,000 Naira inside her purse, if you factored in her iPad and her phone.
A check was written up and I handed it to her.
She thanked me and left.
The man in question, rose up and began thanking me for saving his life.
I told him it was God and not my doing but I couldn’t watch him be tormented like that.
He continued to thank me.
I asked him where he lived and he said,
After negotiating with a cab driver and paying him, the man was on his way.
I wasn’t entirely sure he was innocent but he didn’t have the purse with him for starters.
And who deserves to be burned to death over what was potentially fake leather.
I took off my suit jacket and opened up my car, placing it on the back seat. I grabbed my phone and it began to ring.
“Babe, where are you?”
I could hear the stress in her voice. Who knew that planning ones glorious day, could bring so much preparatory stress.
I looked both ways before I crossed the street as I continued talking,
“I’m just walking into the place to check on the drink order and give them the deposit”
She sighed on the other end of the line as I opened the door into the building.
The receptionist greeted me with a smile and paused as she waited for me to finish with my phone call
“Babe, why are you just getting there?
You were supposed to be there an hour ago. you know we still have the rehearsal at 7.
We don’t have that much time”
I nodded as if she could see me. She was tense.
I was too but someone had to always level us out.
That was how we worked.
I smiled and reminded myself not to say “calm down”, unless I was looking to stare death in the face and prepared to lose.
“Wura, I’m coming.
I know you’re stressed. I’ll be there soon”
I could tell she rolled her eyes.
There was a way she always did it.
“Just hurry up!
I’m having to deal with all these people myself and it’s too much”
She hung up before I could respond.
I knew I had to get home as quickly as I could. Wura wasn’t one to “crumble” under pressure but if you know weddings in Lagos these days, you would know that pressure doesn’t even come close to what people go through.
It had been 3 years since I started dating Wura. The next day, our wedding day, would mark the beginning of the 4th.
And ultimately the rest of our lives.
Wura loved me.
I state that by itself because I want to emphasize it.
The woman loved me into my bones. To the places I never knew love could reach.
I had promised myself to never return to the place of vulnerability that love exposes.
Wura did it.
She found her own way to take my heart away.
Cliche again but she did and I had to find a way to pay her back.
Starting with returning to the rehearsal hall on time.
On my drive back, I got a call from a Tobi. My medical school buddy from Canada.
He was calling to inform me of his safe arrival back home.
I was pleased to hear his voice because Tobi introduced me to Sayid, my best friend, almost 12 years before.
Fresh into school and the cold days in Canada, Sayid and Tobi kept me connected to home.
Tobi had gone to University of Ibadan and introduced me to Sayid who had attended the University of Ilorin with me.
I never actually knew Sayid while at University of Ilorin, he graduated a year before me but we instantly hit it off.
It was always a great time around him from the music, to the stories and the constant laughs.
We grew close very quickly.
When I pulled up into the rehearsal hall’s parking lot, Sayid met me outside,
“She’s pissed bro”
I pressed the car remote to lock the doors as I walked towards the entrance.
There she was, ever so beautiful, even in her frustrated state.
“I am sorry baby”
as I approached and flashed a smile at her.
She tried to fight her smile but she soon started smiling.
Inside, I was relieved because Wura had the tendency to go over the deep end if she felt slighted or disrespected.
The rehearsal was pretty painless.
“Stand here, walk this fast, look here… who will have the rings?”
For two hours and then it was all done.
There were some refreshments provided to the wedding party and other friends present before we all set out.
The guys were staying with me at my father’s house in Lekki while the girls stayed at Wura’s aunts house in the heart of Victoria Island.
I was the last one to leave.
Walking back into the hall, I headed all the way to the front.
I took my position as I scanned the room, in less than twenty four hours, I was going to be marrying the woman I loved right in that spot.
A quick flashback to where we had been as my eyes welled up. I quickly dried them as I began to recite my vows.
“Wuraola, you are the essence that gives my life purpose
Through loving you, I have discovered what life can be in many ways
To have someone in your corner
To listen to your troubles and your fears
There is something about the way you love me
That makes me want to be a better man
I am lucky to have found you
I can’t promise to always know
But I promise that I will never stop at okay
I promise to love you with all of me
To protect you
Be your friend
And everything you need me to be along the way
I am thankful to God that I am about to embark on this journey with you
Thank you for loving me too”
There was a level of honesty to that piece.
It still brings tears to my eyes as I think of them.
But those were the words that rang true for me. Wura gave me a new purpose in love and I wanted her to know it.
I lingered around for a few minutes and then headed to the car.
As I sat in the car, I reached for my phone and noticed I had two missed calls.
I didn’t recognize the number, so I listened closely to the voicemail.
“Hey Diji, it’s Bimbo.
Long time, I know you’re getting married soon and I was just hoping we could talk before.
If it’s not possible, I understand.
I will just like to have one proper talk with you before you go off into the sacred land.
If that’s okay with you.
I’m staying at my place on the way to your house. Let me know if you can stop by.”
I listened to it twice.
Her voice still ringing between my ears as I placed the phone down. I hadn’t spoken to Bimbo in almost two years when I had called to let her know that I was proposing to Wura.
Bimbo and I had been together since before I went to Canada for medical school and we continued our long distance relationship.
Bimbo and Wura were completely different people.
Everyone that knew us, thought that I would marry Bimbo. The stars looked aligned for it.
We started out as kids and grew into full fledged adults. But life and it’s unpredictability happened and we broke up.
A lot of the things that happened between us could have been avoided; better communication I would say.
But Bimbo and I broke up and ultimately started dating other people.
When Wura came along, I was dating somebody else but we started out as friends.
Once that relationship ended, it was easier for us to start.
But I don’t think I ever stopped loving Bimbo.
Sometimes I had to convince myself that loving her was the wrong choice.
I rationalized the decision, but I always felt something was missing.
That night, I shouldn’t have gone to Bimbo’s house but I did.
I knocked on the door and a few seconds later, she answered.
No, she wasn’t dressed in anything sexy or seductive. It was just her.
The way her smile brightened my heart, I stepped in and hugged her.
There was a warmth that emanated from her.
It wasn’t just physical.
Suddenly, I started to feel like my coming there was a mistake.
I still had some feelings for Bimbo.
We began talking and catching up.
She told me that she had just gotten a job working for a law firm on the Mainland and she was happy to be back in Nigeria.
I felt my heart skip a beat.
Having to live so close to the woman I sometimes feel I should have married?
It wasn’t all rosy between Bimbo and I, our families for one did not get along or make any attempts to understand each other.
So we were always swimming against the current.
Hours had gone by and before I realized it, it was a bit past 2am.
Not a single bone in me wanted to leave.
So we kept talking and at one point, Bimbo suggested we watch our favourite movie together “The Usual Suspects.”
When I was in Canada and she moved to work in Tottenham, England; we would stay up late watching movies via FaceTime.
It was the first time in many years, that we actually sat down to watch a movie together.
Mid way through the movie, she turned over and whispered,
I smiled and asked,
She looked down and said,
I smiled and she smiled too.
Enough was said.
I slowly yawned as I struggled to get my eyes to open.
Scratching the side of my face and my beard, I twisted and turned.
A long stretch and I was awake.
What would happen next would change everything. I looked to my right and someone was sleeping next to me.
I was confused.
Where was I?
Then, it began to come back to me. I was at Bimbo’s house.
Did I sleep there?
I hoped to God that it was still early enough, I began to search for my phone.
Noticing it on the bed side cabinet, I reached up to get it. As I pressed the side button, the 46 missed calls did not stand out to me as much as the time did.
It read 11.52am.
I was a dead man.
I let out a squeal, waking up Bimbo as I cursed under my breath.
Oh, this was bad!
Bimbo slowly woke up and said,
“Dj, what happened?”
Standing at the foot of the bed cutting this dejected figure, I said
“I am fifty two minutes late to my own wedding”
She looked at me puzzled and reached for her phone to confirmed the time as she sprung out of the bed.
“What do we do?”
I began to reach for my shoes on my side of the bed when I noticed an empty condom wrapper, right next to my left shoe.
I reached down and picked it up. Holding up, I looked at Bimbo and then back at the wrapper.
Swallowing hard and slow, I asked Bimbo,
The look on her face said it all.
I just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole.
“BEHIND THE WRITER”
IMPORTANT NOTICE:“Behind The Writer” edition #2 is BACK. Basically, I will spend that piece answering questions all of you have for me during the week of my birthday in
So PLEASE LEAVE YOUR QUESTIONS IN THE COMMENT SECTIONS BELOW. AS MANY AS 10 per person. I’ll pick the TOP 25 I like and answer them for you all in that piece! I’M DOING THIS SO ALL MY READERS, SUPPORTERS AND WHOEVER ELSE IS LEFT CAN GET TO KNOW THE WRITER A BIT MORE AND UNKNOWN THINGS ABOUT ME.