Absent

Yours (CoverSeason) by La Braya

When I wailed

You toiled away

This is not your fault

But now he beats on me

And I want to run

But I remember the words you spoke

Now matter the feelings it evokes

Your home is your home

I’m applying a bit more

To cover up my scars

Bruises and deep scars

I kept in giving it one more try

Staying strong

I wouldn’t cry

But you where nowhere to hold my 

….

Who knew I was meant to text her when she got home

I didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to enjoy being alone

That I am meant to appreciate her more than her giving me some

Now I’m in love

But telling her is not an option

So I’ll select none of the above

Let me continue to hide behind my pride

Taking my failures in stride

But never really learning anything

I was told that I was allowed to leave after 15 minutes

If the professor didn’t show

It’s been 15years

I have waited so long

My chest hairs began to grow

….

I would FaceTime

Yet you would text back

Returning home with a heavy heart

I just wanted you to whisper in your deep voice

Comfort sounds

Truly capturing me in the love I thought we shared

But hours would pass

Nights would count on

And we continued to grow apart

This was not what we wanted from the 

….

I appreciate you

Always being there

Even when you’re not here

Our friendship has grown

You are my best

It was such a great ride

You became the first

In my heart

In my thoughts

With you I was secure

And then suddenly you told me you wanted more

And over time you would still come over

But you were gone

….

I just can’t seem to stay

When it gets tough

I run

Because I believe I have no one

I heard of your legend

But daddy I needed your presence

I am supposed to raise a son

But I keep waiting for you to drop out the sky

From behind the sun

But I have continued to realize

The longer I wait

The more I get burned

So I’m going inside where I think it’s safe

At least in there I can’t get hurt

Out here that’s not the case

You cannot protect me out here

You haven’t really protected me anywhere

Please make sure to download my latest #WhatTheHeckMan Rant 2/25. It is super funny!

https://www.dropbox.com/s/8tgr9vza8n7b9aw/%23WhatTheHeckMan%20Rant%202%3A25.mp3?dl=0

https://soundcloud.com/sanmi-adewunmi/whattheheckman-rant-225

Many of us are fostered by the world today. 

My condolences to those who have lost parents. I pray you find peace and they rest in peace.

I wrote this piece a few weeks ago but in light of thinking about how many of us are raised by the “system”

I work very closely with foster families and I see what the lives of these kids look like.

Recently I said “fall in love with condoms you cannot fall in love with your kids”.

You might not catch the direct meaning of that statement but the truth is many of were not raised by our parents. They were “absent ” one way or another.

Some were physically present but emotionally unavailable. There are some today who grew up in the same households with their parents but have no relationship.

This is not to say that the parents are horrible people. I am just of the opinion that if you decide to bring children into the world. It is your duty to be everything and more for them.

I was raised by my grandparents for the most part, my parents in the States working to give us the best education and such but there are certain lessons that you can truly only get from a relationship with a parent.

My relationships with my father and mother are phenomenal today but I count myself lucky.

There are some who never get the chance to learn from their guardians.

I have seen many broken relationships and derailed lives because they do not know a way of being. One of the most important things with children is being able to model things to them.

When no one is there to model, who do you learn from?

Where do you learn to follow through, patience, growth, importance of hardwork and where do you get a first hands on look at love?

There are men out there today that cannot love today because they never saw their father show love to their mothers. There are women who cannot seem to be grounded because they had unstable mothers.

Now people boyfriends and girlfriends are doubling as the parents they never had.

We see it on Twitter and IG everyday, the society is “raising” a lot of people. And it shouldn’t be that way. From lessons on etiquette to lessons on love, social media and society are now the tutors.

I always ask you to ask yourself how you’re doing. Today, I challenge you to be there for someone. Even if no one was present for you.

Start to think about your life and future. Work toward being physically present and also emotionally sound for those that love you.

You don’t want the world teaching your child or friend, how to be become themselves.

Choose to be present.

RUINS 4 on Saturday. It will be a fantastic one! 

Stay Up!

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The End

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