#WordsofWednesday · Art · Life · Oakland · Poetry · Uncategorized

Absent

Absent

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Yours (CoverSeason) by La Braya

When I wailed

You toiled away

This is not your fault

But now he beats on me

And I want to run

But I remember the words you spoke

Now matter the feelings it evokes

Your home is your home

I’m applying a bit more

To cover up my scars

Bruises and deep scars

I kept in giving it one more try

Staying strong

I wouldn’t cry

But you where nowhere to hold my 

….

Who knew I was meant to text her when she got home

I didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to enjoy being alone

That I am meant to appreciate her more than her giving me some

Now I’m in love

But telling her is not an option

So I’ll select none of the above

Let me continue to hide behind my pride

Taking my failures in stride

But never really learning anything

I was told that I was allowed to leave after 15 minutes

If the professor didn’t show

It’s been 15years

I have waited so long

My chest hairs began to grow

….

I would FaceTime

Yet you would text back

Returning home with a heavy heart

I just wanted you to whisper in your deep voice

Comfort sounds

Truly capturing me in the love I thought we shared

But hours would pass

Nights would count on

And we continued to grow apart

This was not what we wanted from the 

….

I appreciate you

Always being there

Even when you’re not here

Our friendship has grown

You are my best

It was such a great ride

You became the first

In my heart

In my thoughts

With you I was secure

And then suddenly you told me you wanted more

And over time you would still come over

But you were gone

….

I just can’t seem to stay

When it gets tough

I run

Because I believe I have no one

I heard of your legend

But daddy I needed your presence

I am supposed to raise a son

But I keep waiting for you to drop out the sky

From behind the sun

But I have continued to realize

The longer I wait

The more I get burned

So I’m going inside where I think it’s safe

At least in there I can’t get hurt

Out here that’s not the case

You cannot protect me out here

You haven’t really protected me anywhere

Please make sure to download my latest #WhatTheHeckMan Rant 2/25. It is super funny!

https://www.dropbox.com/s/8tgr9vza8n7b9aw/%23WhatTheHeckMan%20Rant%202%3A25.mp3?dl=0

https://soundcloud.com/sanmi-adewunmi/whattheheckman-rant-225

Many of us are fostered by the world today. 

My condolences to those who have lost parents. I pray you find peace and they rest in peace.

I wrote this piece a few weeks ago but in light of thinking about how many of us are raised by the “system”

I work very closely with foster families and I see what the lives of these kids look like.

Recently I said “fall in love with condoms you cannot fall in love with your kids”.

You might not catch the direct meaning of that statement but the truth is many of were not raised by our parents. They were “absent ” one way or another.

Some were physically present but emotionally unavailable. There are some today who grew up in the same households with their parents but have no relationship.

This is not to say that the parents are horrible people. I am just of the opinion that if you decide to bring children into the world. It is your duty to be everything and more for them.

I was raised by my grandparents for the most part, my parents in the States working to give us the best education and such but there are certain lessons that you can truly only get from a relationship with a parent.

My relationships with my father and mother are phenomenal today but I count myself lucky.

There are some who never get the chance to learn from their guardians.

I have seen many broken relationships and derailed lives because they do not know a way of being. One of the most important things with children is being able to model things to them.

When no one is there to model, who do you learn from?

Where do you learn to follow through, patience, growth, importance of hardwork and where do you get a first hands on look at love?

There are men out there today that cannot love today because they never saw their father show love to their mothers. There are women who cannot seem to be grounded because they had unstable mothers.

Now people boyfriends and girlfriends are doubling as the parents they never had.

We see it on Twitter and IG everyday, the society is “raising” a lot of people. And it shouldn’t be that way. From lessons on etiquette to lessons on love, social media and society are now the tutors.

I always ask you to ask yourself how you’re doing. Today, I challenge you to be there for someone. Even if no one was present for you.

Start to think about your life and future. Work toward being physically present and also emotionally sound for those that love you.

You don’t want the world teaching your child or friend, how to be become themselves.

Choose to be present.

RUINS 4 on Saturday. It will be a fantastic one! 

Stay Up!

PLEASE COMMENT.

The End

Follow @adewus4real

Thank you for reading and commenting. You are highly appreciated. 

Lookout for part 4 of Ruins; this Saturday.

© 2015 #WhatTheHeckMan

7 thoughts on “Absent

  1. The way you’re able to capture the things we take for granted is absolutely amazing. I have a friend that was also raised by her grandparents, but unfortunately has not really been able to build a strong relationship with her mother. The generational gap and the lack of emotional support over the years dampened any form of relationship they hoped to build, so count yourself extremely lucky and blessed to have been able to build a relationship with your parents. Once again, well done! #ProverbsTypeOfWisdom

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  2. I appreciate you highlighting the fact that absence has a lot to do with emotional presence as well. I know quite a few people that suffered from not having that around, including myself. the effects can be quite harsh. but hopefully more people do reach out to people and be there, guardian or not. great piece.

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  3. I can absolutely relate to this. No investment in personal relationship between parents & children can have adverse effects and then either party starts searching in the wrong place for things that should be found at home. I really like this piece and I think we all have something to learn from it.

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  4. Lovely song and lovely piece .. Parent/ children relationships are very important . I am thankful for the relationship I had with my dad before he passed away . His lessons are forever etched in me

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  5. Sigh I feel like not having a parent or a model emotionally or physically can cause two things. Either motivate you to be there for others who are in your situation because you know how horrible it feels or make you just stone hearted and not a give a shit about anyone because you got no love so why give love.

    And for me I don’t judge the decisions people make due to their experiences, life don treat you badly so why care? That been said, it’s crucial to understand that in order to move past the hurt and have peace, one has to let go and be free. Which is easier said than done. And few times the world is actually a better teacher. I am one of those that learnt from the world and I think I am ok lol for the most part.

    I totally relate to this piece and honestly it’s hard but yes we can all do better and make life worth living. Be better parent, better friends, better role models. Because people we expected to turn up for us didn’t, does not mean we should do the same.

    Great piece. Challenge accepted “I promise to be present” Thank you 👏🙌

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  6. Is Amazing to see how you put these words together, very meaningful, very emotional and quite intriguing. Beautiful piece I must say. Have friends who grew up together with their parents yet they feel like forsaken ppl. Sad to say, but that’s the reality👍

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  7. This piece is so real. When I was much younger, I had a low self Esteem. My parents worked me through it. Everyday I thank God for them because without them, I wouldn’t be here today. I see my friends who weren’t as privileged and I have become a mum to them. With the way society is going It really does have to be a personal decision to raise one’s family.

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