With You (feat. Maleek Berry, Stonebwoy & Eugy) by Juls
My tongue went dry. My eyes started to water.
“Don’t cry. Don’t cry”
I was trying to tell myself that tears in this moment would only signal guilt.
I was really trying to hold it together.
But I couldn’t.
I shook in position. His voice was like a jolt of electricity through my body.
“I can explain”
He scoffed and said
“Well I’m counting on it. Go on.
Who was that?”
I just couldn’t imagine another lie.
So I came clean
“Babe, I promise I never did any of this to hurt you.
You have to believe me… before our wedding… a few weeks before, I slept with Chibuzo.
I promise you, I was drunk and I can’t even remember half of what happened that night. I just know he came over and he and I had a thing before you and I, so I assume that we had sex.
Baby I am sorry”
His face was blank.
I could see the rage I was so familiar with, growing inside of him.
“You did what?!”
“Baby, I am sorry. It was a mistake.
It was one time!”
My voice pitched as he swung his right arm at me.
I ducked but not fast enough as he caught me right behind my neck.
The last I remember was my head striking the ground.
When I opened my eyes, I was stiff.
There was a cast around my neck. I slowly opened my eyes and tried to find my bearings.
Bed.. Hospital lights… I lifted my right arm and noticed the tag with my name on it.
I was trying to retrace how I landed there but nothing was coming to me.
The door opened some thirty minutes later and it was my doctor.
I knew who he was at least.
“Bella, you are awake.
How are you feeling?”
“Ummm…I don’t… I don’t know”
I replied as I straightened out while trying to look at him to my left.
He came close and pulled a stool.
He sat down with one leg on the stool and the other on the floor.
He smiled and said
Before he could continue, I asked
“What happened doc?”
He smiled again and said
“You had an accident. You slipped and fell.
You are lucky your husband noticed you quickly enough and brought you in.
It’s normal that you don’t remember everything that happened. You may be suffering from temporary memory loss and thats totally fine. Your working memory is still intact at the very least you remembered me as I walked in.
You just need to rest and you’ll be fine in a few days.
The cast is just a precaution with head injuries”
“Where is my husband?”
The doctor closed the folder in his hand and said
“He left yesterday when he brought you in. He hasn’t been back since”
“Thank you doc”
As I moved to turn over, he said
“Bella, I have something I want to talk to you about”
Whats going on doctor?”
I replied with some concern.
He placed the folder on the bed next to me and took my left hand into his hands as he said
“Bella, we ran some tests when they brought you in yesterday and I can say with certainty that you are pregnant. About 4 months along”
I was shocked.
I wanted to turn away.
i wanted to run.
He continued and said
“Now, I know part of what I wanted to talk to you about was the fact that, I noticed some heavy bruising around your torso and some pretty consistent cuts along your right arm.
Coupled with the fact that this your 4th pregnancy that you have chosen not to take to term and your husband never being involved when you become pregnant, I am not sure how to proceed beyond ensuring you are okay.
Bella, are you having suicidal thoughts?
Is everything okay?”
A part of me laughed inside as a single tear traced down my right cheek as I turned away from the doctor.
“I’ll like to be left alone doctor”
I said with my back turned to him.
He got up and walked out quietly.
“Was I suicidal?”
That question was a joke. When hadn’t I been suicidal?
For the last two years of my life, I had been suicidal and close to death on many occasions.
I had aborted my last three pregnancies, against the knowledge of my husband.
Between him beating me, to the pressures of my career, and family breathing down my neck, I swore I would never bring a child into this world to witness that.
It would be unfair to them.
The red in my heart should course through them but they should never see the black beneath my eye that their daddy put there.
Or the tears I shed.
It was overwhelming.
And on many occasions, I felt like giving up. But I am not a coward. I have never been a quitter. So I fought harder.
Tried to stay positive.
But in many ways, whenever I found my feet, something would knock me down.
My husband never missing a target.
Two days went by and my husband understandably didn’t come by.
I remembered what had happened now.
In many ways, I am glad he had lied at the hospital.
I definitely did not want the hospital knowing that he swung at me because he found out that I cheated on him.
I mustered some strength on that evening to take a walk.
For most of the days, I was cooped up in my room.
As I made my way through the hospital, I was reminded of the value of life.
Seeing many people fight for it, I vowed to fight for mine.
As I entered the garden, I sat down and watched the sun set. It was a calming feeling.
I knew I had to leave my husband.
But how was the issue.
His family would fight me and mine would be highly embarrassed.
I was deep in thought when I heard someone say
I looked up and it was Darrell.
“heyyyy, what are you doing here?”
I chanted out as I got up to give him a hug.
He smiled with that gorgeous smile of his and said
“I work here”
“Wait, I know you’re a surgeon but I didn’t know you worked here!”
He kept smiling as he said
“Yeah, I consult for the State on some cases here. So I fly in for weeks at a time to get the work done.
And why are you here?”
I tried to hide but there wasn’t really much hiding that could happen with the huge white thing around my neck.
I don’t know what happened but I think it was because of all that I had been holding in, but I broke down.
Everything came out.
He was shocked but slowly, he reached his hands around me and pulled me in.
For the first time in two years, I felt safe.
In the arms of a stranger.
“You mean if you told your parents, they would still blame you?”
Darrell asked me with disgust and genuine concern seated on his brow.
He frowned as awaited my answer.
“Nah, its more complicated than that.
And being that I cannot tell them the real reasons for it, it would be harder to accept, you know?”
“I guess but damn, your family should bat for you regardless, you are their daughter. Fuck a nigga because he married you”
There was a silence.
The he spoke
“I’m going to extend my stay and you can come and stay with me if thats okay with you.
I definitely do not feel comfortable with you going back to that house”
I nodded as he pulled me in again.
It was had been almost a week since that evening outside the hospital with Darrell. I was living out of his condo and just trying to gather myself again.
The days were hard when he went to work because I was left alone with my thoughts. But when he was home, it was amazing.
He was so smart and emotionally aware, I felt like I was talking to a long lost friend.
I would occasionally temper my feelings with caution.
I definitely didn’t want to get caught falling for a man that I barely knew.
One night a lot changed.
he came back from a late shift a few minutes past 2am, I was watching Girlfriends.
I gave him a huge hug when he walked in and told him, I made some pasta earlier.
He told me he wasn’t in the mood for pasta and that he wanted breakfast food.
I started walking towards the kitchen to whip up some eggs when he said,
“Grab your coat. There is this late night breakfast spot that I want us to check out.”
I smiled as I ran up the stairs to grab my coat.
It may sound stupid but it felt like a real date or something of the sorts.
As we jumped in his rental car, I remember looked over at him while he backed out of the driveway.
He smiled and said
I smiled back and looked away as I said
That moment felt so real. It was everything.
We were waiting for the pancakes he raved about.
“I promise you. These are better than anything you have had”
I laughed and said
“Being that I don’t really like pancakes, the bar isn’t set that high you know?”
“Don’t worry, you’re just saying that now. You’ll testify in a minute”
I laughed at his confidence.
We chatted about his day which he told me was very heavy so he didn’t really want to talk about it.
I was fine with that.
I can’t remember what was being said but there was a moment when he went silent.
I looked up from my phone and noticed him staring at me.
“What are you looking at?”
I shyly asked.
He smiled and said
I could feel myself blushing.
My cheeks were so wide, I could feel them ready to crack open into dance on an ashy beat to a Fela song.
“I wish I could kiss you right now”
My eyes grew big.
He caught it and immediately apologized
“Im sorry if I overstepped”
He didn’t but I wasn’t going to seem easy.
I smiled and said
“It’s okay. I know you would love to kiss my awesomeness”
We both laughed.
He excused himself and went to the restroom.
I fiddled with my phone as he left and tried to play Words with Friends.
I wasn’t getting the word I wanted, so I gave up and dropped the phone, just in time for the waitress to place our food in front of me.
A few seconds later, he showed up
I joked and said
“You smelled the phone all the way from the bathroom huh?
With your huge nose”
He laughed hard and said
“Look these are legendary pancakes!
I would smell them all the way from Wisconsin”
He placed a few on his plate and drenched them in syrup.
He was about to take a firs bite when he froze looking up.
I didn’t first catch it until he said
“Dort turn around but I think I just saw someone you know”
I smiled and chewed on the food in my mouth as he lowered his fork.
“how do you even know who I know Darrell?”
He didn’t take his eyes off what he was looking at behind me.
I was backing the entrance to the restaurant and I badly wanted to turn around but he had said not to.
“I know this person off your Instagram. I know because I was stalking it at work today.
If I am not mistaken, Bella that is you husband with his tongue down another mans throat”
I almost choked on the last bit of pancake that slew down my throat.
There was no fluff in what he just said.
I turned around and got up.
Without saying a word, I charged towards that table with Darrell closely behind me.
Before I could even open my eyes, tears were following down my cheeks.
I stopped right in front of his table and said
“What The Heck Mfon!”
He was stunned. Frozen in place.
The whole restaurant was silent.
“What the fuck are you doing here with a man!
I yelled at the top of my lung with spit and tears flying off my face.
He still didn’t respond.
I blacked out and reached for the cup of coffee sitting in front of them and launched it at his face.
Unlike when he swung at me, I didn’t miss. I connected square on his face as he screamed and squealed at the burn from the coffee.
If I was ever afraid of going to war regarding my marriage, it was all gone now.
Only offering to appease me?
Till death do us part we agreed?
Well I was now death, and I would not stop until I tore him apart.
Till next week for Part 3, Stay Up!
Thank you for reading and commenting. You are highly appreciated.
© 2016 #WhatTheHeckMan