For weeks now, I have been trying to stop and write about this.
It’s been eating me for a while and over the course of this post, I will drop some familiar quotes that you may have heard.
As we get older, many of us are finding purpose in life, monetizing talents and honestly just trying to make our hustles come good for us.
As you become an “owner”, you start to find that support is weird. It’s something you know you’re not entitled to but you crave and demand in certain spaces.
“Not everyone is like you”
The aforementioned quote is important and I’ll speak to it shortly.
But, about not being entitled to support and still demanding it.
We all know that in life, nothing is promised.
Nothing is given and almost everything is earned.
By virtue of that quote, you cannot be entitled to someone’s support.
And let’s be clear, when I speak about support, I don’t mean support in being an abusive partner, I mean tangible support to greatness.
To me it should be simple, if I know you personally and I respect you, you almost automatically have my support.
That means if you are my friend and you start a business or start to chase your dreams, I will be with you.
Monetarily if I can and sometimes by just being another voice spreading the word about whatever you are doing.
Secondly, if you are someone I know in passing (Twitter, IG or in social space) and you have a sound product, I will support you as well.
I feel challenged to do good everyday, so in spaces that I find myself, I offer support.
That means buying from my friends and not expecting things for free. Or retweeting every damn thing they post and shouting them out when I can.
Look, it is not easy and honestly, I don’t think people that fail to support are evil people.
I just think as we get older, means of showing love and support should become more tangible.
It’s not enough to say you care about me but you haven’t listened to a single episode of my show all year or say you support your friend but you patronize big brands instead of their handmade or original stuff.
If you are a lazy friend, more than likely, you come off as an unsupportive friend.
It’s hard enough in a saturated social media space to carve a niche but you expect to rely on those you love to at least help you get off your feet.
Look, in the first few months of my show
“Subscribe here to my weekly radio show/podcast on iTunes. Rate us and leave us a comment if you will please”
I used to ping my friends before we went live.
“are you listening? We are live”
But as we go live this week, I don’t “need” my friends to have an impactful show.
But I also know how I got here, some of my friends listened every week, told others about what I do, shared my art and helped me grow.
And I owe that to everyone I care about and respect.
What sucks is when you have people who won’t actively support you.
I have a friend who is very popular in her field. Doesn’t actively support me, but supports similar brands. Now it could be because my shit sucks, which I doubt or she doesn’t care.
But recently she got nominated for an award and wanted to win badly.
Suddenly, it was “guys please log in here and vote for me”.
And I’m like sis what????
We all didn’t start at the same time but if you have been blessed with a following or a large platform, use it to be supportive.
“We rise by lifting others”
I love people that live for shouting out their friends.
It’s so beautiful to watch.
“Your support can be your currency”
Look sometimes you can’t actively support your friends.
My friend Eche, CEO of Afropolitan Group based in SF.
Has many events, sometimes weekly and I cannot attend all of them.
But I can retweet when he posts and encourage others to attend.
Or some who have friends that make expensive products that you cannot afford.
Your support can be your currency.
Spread the word and you never know who else will patronize them.
It’s also important to understand that like I said earlier, no one owes you shit.
And it is futile begging for the support of folks who are too lazy to care or don’t see value in your dream.
Keep pushing on and working hard.
One day, you’ll make it big and be bigger than you currently are.
Those same people will be the first to congratulate you and tweet/post that they knew you from earlier days.
~ The Wordsmith
New Series is coming on Saturday!
Thank you for reading and commenting. You are highly appreciated.
© 2018 #WhatTheHeckMan
2 thoughts on “We Rise by Lifting Others”
You know what you are right!I apologize for not being consistent in listening to the show live because I work and have soem evening classes I attend for some certification I am trying to obtainat the same time, so my schedule is messed up. But I do go back to listen to it on days I have downtime or when I am doing some chores at home,I spread the word to friends who are like minded like me,trust me trying to explain to some people on how I can about your platform isn’t as easy. I have been mocked before for listening to programs and podcasts similar to yours!But I am going to patronize your merchandise as soon as I have time to buy online.😊😊😊😊
P.S I finally downloaded and created an account on the WordPress app so I can save your stories and words of wisdom 😁😁
Bless your heart for this Sanmi! I decided to do some WhatsApp posts about this same support and after writing my points in my note pad I felt they weren’t enough and just thought to come on here to see if you have anything on building valuables friendships and saw this! You are my friend in my head btw. For years I have followed your blog and spread the word to everyone close to me. You have helped me out of dark places with your wisdom and have given me clarity on so many issues I faced and So I decided years ago it was important to be to others what I want them to be to me.
This Friendship thing is underrated. We need to talk about these things more.