You’ll only regret it when I get heartbroken
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African Princess by Korede Bello
The morning was quiet. Just how I liked it.
I could hear the bustle around me as I continued to drift in between sleeping and waking up. You know that state you get into where you can feel yourself awake but you’re still asleep. Something like hearing yourself snoring loudly but still in the clouds.
The thread counts in her sheets were amazing. I actually didn’t want to leave the bed. I had barely gotten any sleep the night before and I just wanted to lie there all day. I could feel my thighs hurting as I wiggled my toes inside my socks. I didn’t want to open my eyes because I knew that it would be near impossible to go back to sleep.
I turned over under the sheets now edging closer towards full awareness of my surroundings. I could feel myself stuck in a line towards consciousness like a rapidly moving line at the DMV (Department of Motor Vehicles) but you didn’t have all your documents yet because your dad was bringing them from the car.
I finally gave in as I kicked out in frustration and opened up. I could hear her at the door getting the food from the maid. She walked towards me with the tray of food that had two pancakes, four apple sausage links, scrambled eggs, home fries and a glass of orange juice. She had a smile on her face as she said
“you didn’t want to wake up huh?
I hope I didn’t wake you up”
I shook my head as I slowly began to smile. She knew how to take care of me and make me feel at home and loved. I just wanted to reach over and hug her. She placed the tray on my lap as I straightened up to eat. She placed a kiss on my cheeks and walked away to sit by her dresser at the foot of the bed. She sat in front of the mirror and began to tidy things on the dresser while I ate.
I asked her,
“So what do you want to do today”
as I munched down on my home fries.
She didn’t turn around as she began speaking, just looking at me through the mirror.
“Not much actually, I’m expecting my doctor later this afternoon at about 2 and that’s it.”
I looked up with a concerned look and swallowed the last bit of food in my mouth before responding to her. I said,
in a prompting tone subtly demanding more information from her.
She smiled and turned around. Now facing me, she said,
“Don’t worry it’s just the personal doctor coming to do my usual check up and blood work.”
I looked at her still not sure whether to believe her or not. I asked,
“are you sure?”
she maintained her smile and nodded. I had to trust her but I closed off by making her promise to tell me if anything was wrong. She agreed.
I looked up at the clock and it was about 11am. I didn’t have that much time left before I had to get back home.
“Well, I guess we should both start getting ready then?”
She agreed and said,
“Whenever you’re ready the driver will drop you off at the airport and I already took care of the money situation in your bag”
I thanked her as I came up behind her and gave her a hug and a kiss. I headed into the bathroom and turned on the shower. I stood in front of the mirror and right then, I almost began to judge myself but I shook the thought out of my head. I bent down to feel the water filling the tub; it was at the temperature I wanted. I stepped into the tub and pulled the shower lever. The first few drops of water that sprayed out were cold and then it warmed up. It was a long soothing shower and my brain wandered.
I came out and walked into the bedroom with a towel around my waist. Ms Annette scanned me from top to bottom from the sofa she was sitting on in the corner of the room and said,
“Have you been working out?”
I figured she was just trying to flatter me but I was willing to play along. I looked down at my naked chest and responded
“A lil bit. Is it showing?”
She smiled and motioned me towards her.
I pulled my briefs and then pants on as she commented on how long my legs were. I was about to put a shirt on when she asked me not to. I beamed as I walked over and sat next to her. She pulled out the UnGame and asked that we play it together to know each other. You picked a card with a question that you asked the other person. It was actually pretty fun and we played it till it was time for me to head to the airport. I was sad to leave as I almost always was but she hugged me and asked me,
“Can you come next weekend too?”
I immediately shook my head and said
“Remember I have the…”
“Oh, you’re taking your girl friend out. Never mind. How about the weekend after?”
I nodded and said,
“Than can be arranged.”
She reminded me to just text her assistant to finalize the arrangements as I sat down in the back of her SUV. The driver barely talked during the drive to the airport. I pulled out my phone and texted Sofia, who was still upset with me for not spending the night over the last time, to ask if she was still picking me up from the airport.
And then I started to wonder how I got to that point. How did I become this guy?
I asked that question as I looked at the $100 dollar bills in my bag sitting next to me. Something about it felt right but extremely wrong at the same time.
It was going to be a full hour drive from the house to the airport and that sleep I hadn’t caught up on was now catching up to me. I knocked my head back as I began to think about how I even got to know her.
. . . . . . .
It was my fifth year in college. I was looking for a job to pay for my schooling that year as I was not offered financial aid. I was taking a fifth year because I had been pretty poor in my third year around the time my mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 ovarian cancer.
I was all out of sorts and I basically failed that year. That year was very difficult. That was the same year disaster hit my native Haiti and my mother passed. It took a lot of soul searching and putting things into perspective but I bounced back and came back stronger after everything.
I was offered a job as a server for a catering company and my first job was the memorial and anniversary of Ms. Annette’s husbands passing. There was a clinic that was being named after him by the city as part of the anniversary of his passing. He was pretty involved in the community. I was assigned to serve the high table where Ms. Annette was sitting next to the some senators and the commissioner.
I was extremely nervous and I was messing up the orders. It was my first gig!
I was coming up to her table and I noticed her get up. This woman had a body on her. Still in her early forties, she maintained a healthy diet and worked out regularly from yoga to 6 mile hikes on Saturdays.
I didn’t realize that she saw the expression on my face as I noticed her getting up. Her ass caused me to accidentally say something. She noticed it but didn’t say anything. As the party wrapped up, I was placing the last of the desserts on the table when she slid a paper with her confidential number on it and asked that I called her. I obviously could not turn her down. I was even more worried but she was mad cool. And the rest of it they say is history.
I single handedly paid my way through school and got my Master’s with her financial support. She basically took me on and helped me as I helped her out.
I heard my name,
“Mr Cristian… Mr Cristian…”
I lifted my head and looked outside the window. I was in front of the airport.
. . . . .
The week breezed by pretty quickly. Friday night came quickly and I arrived to pick up Danielle. I was actually the one late this time. She was a bit upset but I joked about it and apologized.
We headed into the city; the plan was to get a light dinner and then head to this club opening. Dinner was relatively chill as we caught up on each other’s week. She asked for my help battling a paper that she was working on for school with the outrageous amount of reading she had to do. I felt for her and agreed to help. We left dinner at Culinary Dropout a food truck turned restaurant and headed for the club with me driving.
I pulled up the club and noticed there was no line. I pulled over to the side and went on my phone to get more information. I realized while doing so that Danielle with her perfect eye sight had noticed that I got the opening days wrong and it was actually opening the following weekend. I was irritated but we decided to find another place. The next place we went to was completely packed and then a fight broke out.
Trying to salvage the night, we decided to head to a strip club. When we arrived, I noticed a lot of the men staring at Danielle’s ass. I thought it was flattering that she had the ass of a stripper but she felt insulted like they thought less of her.
I wanted to sit at the back of the viewing area at the strip club but Danielle wanted us to sit up close and took us all the way to the front!
I had been to strip clubs before and I knew they were going to pick on us eventually and I was right. Only a few minutes after sitting down, the stripper climbed down the pole and headed for me. She pulled me onto the platform and then pulled Danielle after. Twerking all over both of us, I couldn’t stop laughing trying to hide how horrified I was. She let us go a few minutes later.
I sat back in my seat and wondered what else the night had for us.
We left there shortly after spraying all our dollar bills.
We were driving back and she thought I would be taking her back to my place as she held my hand and said,
“I had a great time tonight baby”
I smiled and told her she was welcome. I asked her what she wanted to eat and while she was trying to decide, I kept on driving. I drove past the exit to my place and she didn’t even notice till I was in front of the place where she wanted to eat. We pulled into the drive thru and ordered our food. She was very particular about her choice of sauce and fries. Minutes later we received our order, I was eager to drive off and then she realized that she didn’t have the fries she paid for in her order.
I stress how particular she was about her food and her fries, so we had to go back and get them again. Waiting in front of the restaurant for them to bring out our food, it took about twenty minutes where I just sat there frustrated and wondering why I could not get this woman to budge on her eating choices since I met her.
We finally headed out of the parking lot and I started driving towards the hotel. I pulled into the hotel parking lot a few minutes later and she smiled at me. The surprise was finally out and she was smiling as she stuffed her last few fries in her mouth.
There was a young white lady with two big African American men also checking in. I joked that she was a pornstar with these huge men about to do things to her all night. Danielle smacked me hard on my shoulder and said she would be my private porn star as we laughed and walked into the hotel. We took the elevator where I stood next to her. She began smiling and I asked her why. She replied that she knew how I felt about elevators and was worried I would devour her there. I told her I had bigger plans for her only if she would come to the throne as we walked out of the elevator.
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Arriving at the door, her beautiful smile got bigger and bigger. She couldn’t stop beaming now. It was like she was getting a pair of her favorite shoes hand delivered to her. She just looked so happy.
She walked into the candle lit room with slow instrumentals playing in the background. Everything was set up before she arrived. She turned and said,
“when did you set all this up?”
I smiled back with that cocky “I do this” smile. I told her not to worry about that. She knew how into details I was and making her feel special was all that mattered. I walked to the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of wine while she sat down on the bed still smiling hard and repeatedly scanning the room. I poured out the wine into glasses as I handed hers to her. I walked to the bathroom and turned the bath on filling it with bubbles so she could soak in it. I stopped by the sink and washed the strawberries and then I headed to the refrigerator again to pull out a small bowl with melted chocolate in it. I had bought two bags of her favorite kind of chocolate Reese’s Peanut butter cups and melted them into the bowl.
She didn’t fancy any other kinds of chocolate covered whatever, so I decided to make it a point to use her favorite. I placed the bowl and the strawberries next to each other. She was tired of waiting and pulled me in by my belt from behind and wanted to start kissing me. She got the first few kisses in before I pulled away and asked her to be patient. I went back to the tub to make sure that the water was just right. It was, so I turned it off.
When I returned to the room, I noticed that she was on her phone. I jokingly said,
“no phones allowed here ma’am”
referring to our night at the strip club. She looked up and her smile wasn’t as bright. She said,
“I have to check on Dylan at my mom’s”
I nodded. It made sense. She had been out all night and had barely checked in because he was at her mother’s house. At least he was supposed to get dropped off there.
I kissed her on her forehead and said,
“you check on Dylan while I make this phone call”
I stepped outside the room into the hallway and called Ms. Annette. There was no response. She had called me twice during the night on my personal phone and not the “work” number I had given her. I was slightly worried. Miss Annette always answered my calls. And she never got back to me regarding her visit with her doctor. Was something badly wrong?
I turned to head back into the hotel room and realized I had failed to grab the key. I knocked gently on the door and Danielle walked up to open. She opened the door and immediately turned around. She walked back to the bed and sad down with her head down, visibly upset. I walked up to her and sat down next to her.
“What’s wrong baby?”
her head dropped even further. I was confused. With this romantic setting I had laid out for her, something was going to ruin it? I couldn’t take that. I asked again,
“talk to me baby. What happened? Everything okay with Dylan”
she shook her head and you could feel the sadness in her voice as she said,
“No. James didn’t bring him to my mom’s house. She said that he told her he wasn’t going to bring him”
I wrapped my hands around her and didn’t say a word. Sometimes that’s the best you can do for the people you love. She still had her head down and then she started talking.
“I’m just tired. I’ve been dealing with this with him for 5 years. He bullies me and uses my son to punish me because he has custody. I haven’t even done anything to him. Why does he hate me so much? I’m just tired. I’m tired.”
I said nothing, just gently rubbing her back and holding her close. I knew if I said anything, she could easily begin to cry and I did not want that. And then she began to personalize the trauma she faced with her son’s father James, on me and our relationship.
She abruptly tried to get up and start packing her stuff to leave saying,
“I can’t do this Cristian, I’m sorry but I can’t put my heart on the line again. It will be a deadly day if it gets broken. I just can’t. Men just seem to want to break me always and I don’t deserve this. I can’t do this. I can’t”
she was in the motion of getting up when I threw my hands around her and pulled her close. I stood up with my left hand brushing down her hair and my right hand firmly around her waist preventing her from leaving. I loved this woman and I wasn’t trying to hurt her.
Baby Answer by Runtown
“I’m not him. And baby, I’m not saying I won’t hurt you in some way but it will never be intentional and I will do everything in my power to make sure that you don’t go through what you went through before again. I can promise you that”
her head was tucked between my biceps as she stayed silent sobbing quietly. Now any man that tells you he won’t hurt you is a liar. We almost end up finding a way to but it’s somewhat easier when it’s not intentional and you have a man striving daily to be everything and more for you. I gently stepped back from her and I made eye contact and said
“Will you let me love you like no one ever has baby?”
she looked into my eyes and gently nodded.
She stepped forward and kissed me on my lips and then she stepped back and said
“take my clothes off”
I quietly obeyed as I stepped up and turned her around slowly and I began to pull the zipper on her dress downwards and my lips kissed from the back of her nappy edges behind her head down her back. With every inch I pulled down, I placed a kiss to mark my presence. The dress was now sitting on her waist as I unlatched her bra and it dropped to the floor. I got in front of her and kissed her collarbone down the middle of her chest between her breasts. I kissed her lips as she pulled her panties and the dress down to her ankles. I turned her sideways and lifted her up like a bride. I headed for the bathroom and I carefully placed her in the soapy tub filled with water. I walked back and grabbed the strawberries, chocolate and our glasses of wine. I joined her in the tub and we looked at each other for a minute. I knew she loved me but she was scared, hurt and uncertain about the future. I was confident she knew how much I loved her and I hoped she’d love me enough to finally figure it all out.
I fed her one strawberry covered in chocolate after the other. She absolutely loved it and asked me,
“Are those Reese’s?“
I nodded. She smiled and placed one covered with chocolate halfway in my mouth and came forward. Straddling me, she lowered her lips on to mine, prompting me to bite the strawberry out of her mouth. I reached up and bit the strawberry out of her mouth and I was about to close my mouth when I felt her tongue invade my mouth.
I was startled and I thought to myself, it was either the alcohol was kicking in or she was about to show me something bad. She began sucking on my bottom lip hard. I kissed her right back. We stayed in the shower kissing and holding on to each other before standing to wash off.
I walked behind her as she entered the room again. She motioned at me to join her on the bed as she lay on her back. Legs spread apart, it was my call to come and feast. I climbed on the bed and moved in slowly with a piercing look in my eyes. There was no kissing from her ankles or her inner thighs. I went straight for the kill; her lips on my lips. They were warm, wet and smelled like roses from the shower. There was something about wanting to show her that I loved her. Communicating that through our bodies at that moment. I was gentle as I controlled the flicker of my tongue as I worked it from up to down, left to right without losing any areas. It was my plan to cover every inch of her wetness and suck it dry as she continued to drip onto my tongue.
I could feel her legs start to shake as I held them up in the air. I held them up as my tongue stayed afloat and tried not to drown. I could feel her cum on my lips as her breathing dropped and she begged me to stop. I obliged and moved up.
Slowly lowering my waiting member into her, I maintained eye contact they whole way. It was slow. It was sensual. It was connective.
I could feel her heartbeat on my chest as I thrust in and out. I cannot begin to explain how amazing her body felt but there was something about this woman. Her person. Her body. Her smile.
The pace never picked up significantly. It was very slow and controlled. We locked eyes and never let go of each other. Her nails digging into my back as she moaned and held me close. I did not want her to let go and I wasn’t planning on letting her go either. I was hoping that no matter what life threw at me or at us, we would stay strong. I thought about all our struggles and fears as I imagined our wedding day speech and how it would be a great day as we stood together stronger from all our trials.
I looked into her eyes as I maintained my thrusting motion and said,
“Danielle, I love you”
She responded with a soft
“I love you too Cristian”
I would reach my climax shortly after, her voice had that effect on me. I lay next to her naked as she placed her head on my chest. We said nothing to each other. I think all that had to be shared had been conveyed without many words.
I had my right hand running around her back and I began to wander into my thoughts.
Did I truly believe that I could love this woman like she needed me to?
She had been through so much.
James’ family had put her through hell since she got pregnant for him 6years ago and decided to keep the baby. They claimed she was trying to hurt the political campaign of his father who was running for State Controller that year. And since the birth of Dylan, when James got full custody, he has made her life hell.
At the time of Dylan’s birth, she tested positive for Meth, which happened to be James’ preferred drug choice at the time. He had gotten her on to it but she was the one punished for it. His family pushed for full custody claiming she was unable to raise the child safely. She was awarded some visitation hours at her house.
Since then it had been one battle or another with James from her visitation hours to him choosing to not bring Dylan to her sometimes. It was taking its toll on Danielle who had taken time off school sometime back because it was all too much.
Danielle had at many times tried to get the court to see how James was treating her and award her at least joint custody but her appeals were denied time and time again. It was now starting to get to me too. I couldn’t stand to see the woman I loved hurting.
I looked down at her, her mouth was open and she was snoring away. I leaned in and kissed her on the forehead.
I woke up slowly the next morning and Danielle wasn’t in the bed. I called out her name. Nothing.
I looked in the bathroom and she was gone. I reached for my phone. I turned it over.
8 missed calls. All from Miss Annette.
I looked on the bedside table for my car keys. They were gone.
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