You’ll only regret it when I get heartbroken
⟹ ⟹ ⟹ PLAY THE SONG BEFORE YOU START READING
Photograph by Ed Sheeran
When we started it was you
When I had you
My dreams came true
Step by step
I fell for you
Before I knew it
My world was only you
Soon you became the reasons for my smile
Whenever I came around you
My self-doubt died
We grew closer and closer
Attention from other folks
I told them not to bother
Our love grew stronger
My heart grew fonder
All I wanted was you
All I saw when I looked at me was you
Even now the mirror got smeared
The picture tainted
We began to fight instead
I could look at you and want peace
But slowly we became selfish
Nobody really gave a shit
Time and time again
We claimed to put each other first
Fact of the matter is
We’re innately selfish wanted out agendas
Zone to a time when I held my tongue
There was a time when our love was so strong
We feared no one
Now we’re getting ready for a wedding
And can’t agree on our song
The things about myself I used to see in you
I now hate
Your feelings of sadness
Choose to not engage or relate
Now you can’t stand me
You don’t even want the free food on our date
Zeal to be better
You used to forgive
I used to forget
Now you’re sitting all alone
Full of regret
Our fights lasted a day
Now I’m out picking my mail
And we haven’t spoken for two Saturdays
My heart aches
Sleepless nights and regular headaches
I miss you
But I’m too stubborn to admit
That I need you
You know I love you
But whenever you upset me now
I want nothing to do with you
I have one foot out of the door
I complain and I don’t put in any effort
My heart is sore
And I don’t want to cry or argue anymore
But I’m stuck on you
I’m in love with you
I want no one but you
But why do you want to leave me so much
When you know you’re the only reflection that true
You love me
But you don’t truly forgive me
You say mean things to me
You only remember the hurt I’ve made you feel
You’re the reflection of me
When I’m happy you are too
When I’m sad
Now It’s because of you
Petty arguments you let divide us
Fights are what define us
If you wanted and truly loved me
You’ll wake up
Now paper over the cracks with make up
You make me happy
But why is it that you want to leave this
Our mirror is cracking
I can no longer see me
My vision is blurred
I can hardly see “we”
I wrote the reflection thinking about you. Yes you.
I was thinking about relationships and how a partner begins to reflect you. You both come into as “individuals” and slowly over time, you become closer and closer. You begin to share experiences, dreams, views and then before you know it, the person becomes a reflection of you. You used to enjoy watching your shows alone but then you meet them and now you have more fun enjoying it with them. You used to buy shoes and clothes by yourself but now all of a sudden, the ones he buys for you carry so much more value.
You were always a go-getter but now you are thrilled by the prospect of building and empire with your partner.
Without consciously asking you or requesting permission, they become your reflection. You go out without your partner and they don’t ask how you’re doing. They ask “how/where is so so and so?”. Completely ignoring your identity. Believe it or not, it’s because they have merged you two into one because you know reflect each other.
Over time the arguments get longer. Pettier.
You used to want to make up that night and you couldn’t imagine your partner mad at you. Now there is a lot of “I don’t care”, “Why am I still here?”
I know a woman who has broken up with her boyfriend 22times!!!! There are deeper issues there but let’s focus on the task at hand instead.
It’s because you’ve forgotten. You’ve forgotten that your partner is a reflection of you. How many of you can lay in bed next to raging partner and be at ease?
When your boyfriend has a long day at work that stresses him, he comes home unhappy. You become his source of happiness pulling from the things that he has shared with you that makes him happy.
You couldn’t stand to see your woman cry before, now she’s in tears and you act cold. Because you have forgotten how much the happiness you derive from her being happy and what it means to you.
Why do we do that? To our best friends, to our parents, to our partners.
Why do we discount the relationships and act like we don’t care anymore?
Especially when we really do. Do not lose the value of the people that love you. Do not forget how much of yourself reflects through them.
I ask you today to be slow to anger, be quick to remember what it is about them that you love. Remember what it is that made you one. Friends, lovers, life partners. Do you think they’ve changed? Honestly, it’s almost always because some element of you has changed too. Have you changed?
I noticed in my relationships that I changed, certain factors influence me and then I start to act out. I start to pull back or not give enough effort. But I sometimes have to check myself.
Are you the same “base” of the person you were when y’all became friends? Lovers?
What do you now reflect?
Who do u need to call? What do you need to fix?
Any relationships hanging in the balance that you have to fix? Don’t stay angry. Fix it. Or at least clean the mirror. Help both of you see a clear picture
Love them and communicate, don’t lose something you truly love. All that comes next is regret.
PLEASE COMMENT!!!! I NEED TO KNOW WHAT YOU’RE THINKING
Thank you for reading and commenting. You are highly appreciated.
Lookout for part 2 of Blurred; this Saturday.
© 2014 #WhatTheHeckMan