Convenient Christians

 Aye Ole by Infinity

Digging in my car for change

In between the cup holder

Sticky and wet

This doesn’t feel strange

You would think I would know this by now

By my chronological age

But I guess spirituality isn’t determined by age

Or even what stage

You are with God

I think it’s determined by how connected to him you

Keyed into the source and no out of range

…..

This is the routine

Exactly how it has always been

This is the time when I remember him

Right around finals or when life gets me on my knees

Pressured by my expectations

They lean over my back and force me to plead

So at his feet for his mercy

I begin to wail and decree

That I’m a child of God

And the angels should let me in

But the truth remains that he might not know me

…..

They call me the Sunday Christian

Or the convenient Christian

I show up for sure two Sundays a year

The one in the beginning

And then the watch night service at the end

I might come for thanksgiving the week after I take a trip for my birthday

I promise to make time very week

So don’t judge me for God’s sake

I’m real at heart

Because I don’t go to church every week

It doesn’t make me fake

 …..

I call his name more than you know

When I slam my brakes in traffic

Or trample through freezing snow

I say it’s him when my friends tell me they see a glow

I call on him when I plan my next my next move to make it big

My great step to blow

I make excuses about tithing

All these pastors just want money

Besides I have bills to pay

All these creditors wont stop calling

So give me a pass when the basket comes around for offering

And I look away like I’m shielding myself from the sun

It’s rays burning

Into my soul

My deep and hollow soul

The place where I question the truth

Where I question whether or not

My offerings will even bear fruit

…..

When the beat drops

I drop it down low

But now I’m in here

Hands lifted up

Don’t let the pastor know

Less than 24hrs ago I was fist pumping and drunk

Under the midnight glow

But now I here I am nodding and claiming the spirit

Like he’s someone I truly know

He continues to search for my attention

But I blow him off when it gets serious

Sitting in my room

I battle depression

The world continues it struggle with me

I stay trying to fight emotional oppression

I put on a front

Behind my make up strands and my socially conscious tweets

I feel the heat

As life burns me at each turn

But I can’t pull back

I can’t resist

But here is my confession

I need him now

I need relief

But am I only reaching for him because it’s convenient for me

……

I don’t spread the word

Because I don’t know the word

I lift my hands in praise

But to whom

Do I really know the Lord?

I know he protects my family and me

Home and abroad

But if I got jailed in this cell called life

Would he be my only call?

When faced with pain and adversity

I run to people with no audacity

To command the universe to bow to my situation

My relationship with him is one-sided

He’s like the person that loves you way more than you can return

But my attention is divided

Between enjoying the world and listening to all he has commanded

My hope is to make time for him

When it’s convenient

But the truth is,

I need him more than he needs me

And he’s there for me

Our relationship would be better and stronger

If only I was obedient.

I am not a preacher. Nor do I believe that I am in a place to judge anyone regarding his or her relationship with God but this came to me.

There is so much of me in this piece; the constant struggle to balance it all.

Being young and “free” in today’s world we want to identify and being a Christian or religious has lost its glow.

Unbelievers laugh at us because we have fallen from grace.

A girl has in her bio “Child of God” or “God over Everything” but less than an inch upwards is a picture of her bearing her “gifts” to the whole world.

I can’t even remember the last time I heard a guy say that he believed in God. (different issue entirely).

We cry to God when we need him but do we realize that we need to make ourselves useful to him to need us.

A few years ago, I truly recognized the difference in my life without God. When I stopped worshipping and being useful in his vineyard, the fall didn’t come immediately.
It was gradual.
Sadness. Depression came in. Denial, faithlessness and then complete disconnect.
And for a while, I lied to myself that I knew who he was and he knew me but the truth was that he had actually left me to try it my way.

The end of last year was different.

A different kind of pain

It was reminiscent of the story of the prodigal son. I was so broken, I CRAWLED back to God. And the prayers were for mercy.

How many of us started in the church?

Raised in the way of the Lord?

Started learning their art/craft from church but now are so distant from it?

We change. But God has never changed.

Ever.

We drift away and return but he remains the same.

Sometimes, I feel like we treat him like the Uber driver.

We call him only right before we need him. And sometimes even in his presence, we say nothing.

We ask him to pick us up from the deepest and scariest places in our lives and like the Uber, he always shows up.

But when do we show up for him. When are found standing to be counted.

Again, I reiterate that the walk for and with God is personal but the manifestation of his blessings in ones life is public.

I challenge myself each day to be a better Christian and a better man.

Some mornings I forget to read my bible

Some days my daily devotional is not daily

I sometimes speak in vain

I shy away from spreading his word

Some ignore his word from above

But I pride myself on one thing, my Christian walk is not allowed to have stops.

I am not allowed to get comfortable because I have not done enough for him, not am I ready enough for the places he can take me.

More work needs to be done

So I challenge you today to search your heart and find where you need him most and where you need to do more for God.

Today I challenge you to be the one that he calls.
Because he has all the power to make the Uber not come.

It’s the Wordsmith with #WordsOfWednesday on #WhatTheHeckMan

Don’t forget Savages 4 comes out on Saturday!