Can You Match Up

Written in all FUN. Relate if possible and laugh a little. Enjoy or not. lol



Did he just look at me?

Oh no he didn’t

Did he?

Wait, he just did

What the heck?!

This is how it’s supposed to be


You look at me

Swagged out

Whatever that means nowadays

Dressed to the T

Stand tall like Idris

Have lips like LL

The body of Mario

Drop that accent and it’s over


I want you as clean cut as possible

Forget if you’ve worked all week and just wanted a night out

It took me 3 hours to make this look of mine work

The least you could do was match up a little

Smell like flowers grown in Montpelier


Come on with confidence

Don’t seem the slightest bit cocky

Whisk me off my feet

But don’t approach me like I’m not a “real woman”

Offer to buy me a drink

Do not look like you’re trying to get me drunk

Maintain eye contact the whole time

Looking neck level and up

Ignoring my two assistants that keep saying hi from 12 inches below your eyes

Talk about what I do

Do not ask too much this is not an interview

Ask if I’d like to hang out as genuinely as possible

I’ll probably think you think I’m easy and say no

Even though I really like you and want to kick it

Ask for my number

I really like you and your smile is driving me crazy

I’ll give it to you

Only after I’ve dropped the “I don’t usually give out my number” line


Pick the venue of our first date

Even after I told you through text that I’ve been really craving sushi

Pick me up at 8

I’ll be ready by 8:30

Who cares if you showed up at 7:45

I’m a woman

Beauty doesn’t come on microwave time

You’re paying


But I’ll order desert to compliment the $25 salad I ordered earlier

I’m watching my height

Do not even reference my weight

Look at my a*s twice and I might just flip out

Even though there is only so much suicide that belt can commit on your mid rift bulge


Have a good paying job

Not for you

But for us

Who cares if we’re not dating yet

Do thoughtful things like send flowers just because

I’ll send you funny YouTube links of guys I think are funnier than you

Change my tire

Mow my lawn

Offer to drive me to pick my bestie from the airport

I’ll thrown away your old receipts

Not have a lawn mower

And complain about why you only have a 4 door and not a 16 seater

To pick up my 13 “besties”


I want you to meet my parents but I want you more polished

Forget that you’re a grad school student

We’ll wait till you graduate

Buy me gifts on Valentine’s, Anniversary, my birthday, mother’s day and anytime I want one

I’m your woman

Pin me down and ravage me

Don’t lay a finger on me

Talk dirty to me

Respect me like I was your sister

Be firm with me

Eventually give me everything I want

Never get jealous that I have 21 active text conversations on my phone

16 are my “buddies”

All guys

2 are with my sisters

And the rest are from my phone carrier

I’m sociable

Remember it’s just twitter

I can call anyone “boo”

Even if “boo” is topless and flexing his six pack in his avi

Have a future planned out for us

Even though I say I’m not ready for marriage

Break certain relationships because they make me uncomfortable

Tell me I’m your one and only

Your support

The best thing that has ever happened to you

Ignoring the fact that you watched your fav soccer team win the Champions league

Answer my calls at first try

Matter of fact

Keep watching me on skype while I write this

Stop disturbing!


Cos I’m your woman

What would you do with me?

We run the world and you need me

I know some of the things I asked were irrational

But who cares

I’m a woman



Could you relate? Did this piss you off or make you smile? Leave a comment and let me know.

Stay Up!

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