Written in all FUN. Relate if possible and laugh a little. Enjoy or not. lol
Did he just look at me?
Oh no he didn’t
Did he?
Wait, he just did
What the heck?!
This is how it’s supposed to be
You look at me
Swagged out
Whatever that means nowadays
Dressed to the T
Stand tall like Idris
Have lips like LL
The body of Mario
Drop that accent and it’s over
I want you as clean cut as possible
Forget if you’ve worked all week and just wanted a night out
It took me 3 hours to make this look of mine work
The least you could do was match up a little
Smell like flowers grown in Montpelier
Come on with confidence
Don’t seem the slightest bit cocky
Whisk me off my feet
But don’t approach me like I’m not a “real woman”
Offer to buy me a drink
Do not look like you’re trying to get me drunk
Maintain eye contact the whole time
Looking neck level and up
Ignoring my two assistants that keep saying hi from 12 inches below your eyes
Talk about what I do
Do not ask too much this is not an interview
Ask if I’d like to hang out as genuinely as possible
I’ll probably think you think I’m easy and say no
Even though I really like you and want to kick it
Ask for my number
I really like you and your smile is driving me crazy
I’ll give it to you
Only after I’ve dropped the “I don’t usually give out my number” line
Pick the venue of our first date
Even after I told you through text that I’ve been really craving sushi
Pick me up at 8
I’ll be ready by 8:30
Who cares if you showed up at 7:45
I’m a woman
Beauty doesn’t come on microwave time
You’re paying
Established
But I’ll order desert to compliment the $25 salad I ordered earlier
I’m watching my height
Do not even reference my weight
Look at my a*s twice and I might just flip out
Even though there is only so much suicide that belt can commit on your mid rift bulge
Have a good paying job
Not for you
But for us
Who cares if we’re not dating yet
Do thoughtful things like send flowers just because
I’ll send you funny YouTube links of guys I think are funnier than you
Change my tire
Mow my lawn
Offer to drive me to pick my bestie from the airport
I’ll thrown away your old receipts
Not have a lawn mower
And complain about why you only have a 4 door and not a 16 seater
To pick up my 13 “besties”
I want you to meet my parents but I want you more polished
Forget that you’re a grad school student
We’ll wait till you graduate
Buy me gifts on Valentine’s, Anniversary, my birthday, mother’s day and anytime I want one
I’m your woman
Pin me down and ravage me
Don’t lay a finger on me
Talk dirty to me
Respect me like I was your sister
Be firm with me
Eventually give me everything I want
Never get jealous that I have 21 active text conversations on my phone
16 are my “buddies”
All guys
2 are with my sisters
And the rest are from my phone carrier
I’m sociable
Remember it’s just twitter
I can call anyone “boo”
Even if “boo” is topless and flexing his six pack in his avi
Have a future planned out for us
Even though I say I’m not ready for marriage
Break certain relationships because they make me uncomfortable
Tell me I’m your one and only
Your support
The best thing that has ever happened to you
Ignoring the fact that you watched your fav soccer team win the Champions league
Answer my calls at first try
Matter of fact
Keep watching me on skype while I write this
Stop disturbing!
Why?
Cos I’m your woman
What would you do with me?
We run the world and you need me
I know some of the things I asked were irrational
But who cares
I’m a woman
Could you relate? Did this piss you off or make you smile? Leave a comment and let me know.
Stay Up!
Omg! Sanmi this is sooooooooooo me! Every thought! 👏👏. You totally nailed it!
This made me smile because somewhere in between those lines, I found me!