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Amnesia 2

Amnesia 2

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 @adewus4real #WhatTheHeckMan

I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me… like I was going to die. This could not be happening. The doctor held onto me as I began sobbing like a little baby. I was distraught. The doctor explained to me that there had been some complications and the baby was putting Lindsey’s life at risk.

Why?“ … Why did this have to happen?” I asked looking to God.

I was wailing like my whole world was crushed when the janitor walked into the room and helped the doctor lift my wailing and embarrassing self off the ground. This was unfair!

I truly could not believe my ears. I’m pretty sure I cried for about 3 days straight and Lindsey even longer.  It was heartbreaking. All our hopes and dreams; gone. I questioned God. I questioned life. I questioned the strength our love. That was the time when we needed each other the most but that was the time we failed.

It all began when I noticed that she had been in contact with the father of the child; a former friend of mine. With our growing apart, she was seeking solace somewhere else. Was it my fault that I couldn’t get over what had happened? It was date after date. Late nights and no texts back. Smelling like another man’s cologne when she returned home in the early hours of the morning. She would come in and curl up next to me. We would still have sex but it was just sex. There was no love between us. Slowly I began to hate her. God was not answering my questions and I needed someone to hate and so I turned all my hate to Lindsey. It was her fault. She had sex with someone else. This was supposed to be someone else’s cross to carry and not mine. I did not set foot into the nursery we had prepared for the baby for almost 2 months. I was deteriorating; and crashing fast.

Alcohol was only one of my poisons and it was affecting every aspect of my life; from work to relationships to extended family. I was depressed and just wanted to be away from Lindsey at all times. I truly hated her because every time I looked at her, I imagined what the baby would have looked like. I just wanted to die. Therapy was ordered by my job and we went for the first few sessions and then I gave up on it. I was not motivated to force myself to get over the pain. Lindsey let go faster than I did and I hated her even more for that.

Meth burning through my pockets faster than it was taking to cook. I remember one evening when I was out by the water where I normally go to clear my head. I was so high and I just sat there… alone and helpless. I don’t know where the thoughts came from and I want to stand by them not being hallucinations but I began to take my clothes off. It was only after a passerby asked me what I was doing that I realized that I had been standing stark naked overlooking the water. What was happening to me?

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.   .   .   .   .

It had been three months since we lost our baby girl. I was still not over it. I think there was a part of me as a man that wanted to stand for something. Something bigger than me and being the best father I could be was the start to that. Religiously, every Friday night, I would go to the park where I had hoped to take my baby girl. Clutching the one blouse I bought her in my hand, I would imagine what could have been until tears flooded my eyes or until I got drunk; whichever came first.

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One night, I returned home fairly tipsy after a few drinks at the bar down the street from my house. Walking in, I heard Lindsey on the phone. I ignored her and stumbled my way up the stairs into the room. I was laying face up on the bed staring at the ceiling fan. Slowly I began to get dizzy… I closed my eyes. Deep breathe in; I’m not even sure if I exhaled. I could feel sleep begin to overtake me.

I heard Lindsey walk into the room to make sure I was asleep, but I wasn’t. With my eyes closed and my heart rate significantly lower, I understand why someone would have thought I wasn’t awake. I could hear her talking to her friend; not sure which gossipy one it was but they were talking about a man. It only took a few more lines to piece together that she was talking about Devin, the same fucking guy that got her pregnant. Putting it all together, I deducted that he had been over at the house earlier. She was talking about how much of a good kisser he was and how he was a gentleman for not going further and trying to take it to the “next level”.

I was fuming now. In my drunken stupor, I got off the bed and charged at her in the living room. Snatching the phone and throwing it in one sweeping motion, I broke it on the wall. She was livid. She glared at me in anger and shock for a good minute and then got up and walked out without muttering a word. I was still angry. I tried to follow her into the room but she had locked the door. The couch was my bed that night. I woke up in the middle of the night flooded with regret, anger and confusion.

“Was she moving on to someone else?”

“How could she?”

I wasn’t ready for all of this. I was going to attempt to talk to her the next day. I turned over and looked at the broken phone in the corner of the room. It looked like a shiny new toy that was now useless and broken like it belonged to a petulant kid who felt they were more than they really were. It was small and had landed in the corner near the bathroom door. It was never going to amount to anything. My eyes grew heavy and they batted slowly. Sleep had arrived.

.   .   .   .   .

“This is just a friendly reminder that your Comcast bill is overdue. Please contact us to avoid disconnection…”

That was the voicemail off the answering machine tailed off as I poured myself a cup of coffee. My head was pounding in my hands. My eyes were heavy. I was clearly hung over. Lindsey was gone when I woke up. Her things were still here so I’m guessing she wasn’t gone for good.

I looked at the time; it was 11:28am. If this was a Saturday, it would have made sense but it wasn’t. Tuesday morning and I was here at home with a hangover and absolutely no motivation or fucks to give. Days like this where I missed work were becoming the norm. I slumped into the couch, turned on the television and began watching the typically annoying court shows.

I looked at myself. A progressive programmer slumped in my couch like a bum with no direction in life catching ICDC college commercials. It began to depress me. I got up and went to the bedroom to pick up my phone.

16 unread text messages, the two most important ones read;

Lindsey: Received 8:03am

YOU NEED HELP. GIVE ME SPACE.”

Audrey: Received 9:46am

Guess who’s back?! I’m in town. We need to ‘connect’ J ”

I smiled after reading the second message. Audrey was the one I had wanted to be with before I got back with Lindsey but she had gone to Thailand to volunteer for a few years so it never really took off. There was an obvious connection and physical attraction between us, but she respected the fact that I was with someone so she kept it low-key. I wasn’t technically single so I wasn’t too hyped about doing anything. It did cross my mind though. Exploring things with Audrey that is…

“Welcome back! And yes we should hangout sometime.”

I wrote back to her carefully avoiding her subtle invitation for sex.

The conversations went on for a few more weeks without me really trying to push for anything. We had gone to the movies once and met at a mutual friends birthday dinner but nothing happened.  One Sunday evening I returned home from visiting a friend in a neighboring city. It was late and Lindsey wasn’t home. I was settling in and preparing for the next day when I realized that I hadn’t washed the shirt I was planning on wearing the next day. I rushed to throw it in the washer but I noticed some other clothes were in there. I took them out and placed them on the dryer right next to me. I put my shirt and a few other items in and started the wash. I opened the dryer to throw in the damp clothes only to find some clothes in there as well. I pulled them out and moved them out of the way. In motion I realized that they were men’s clothes. More importantly they were not mine… And I was talking men’s undergarments! I somehow already knew what was going on. I dropped them in the empty hamper and reached for my phone. I texted Lindsey to find out what had happened with Devin

Me: Was he here?

Lindsey: Yes

Me: Did you have sex with him?

Her response was delayed but the torn condom wrappers in the bathroom already answered the question. It was done.

Her response came in as my phone buzzed,

Lindsey: “Yes. I’m sorry”

It was a slow double break of my heart. I sat on the toilet seat and cried. I had just lost my best friend; again.

.   .   .   .   .

 Audrey was my release. She was the ‘new’ that I needed. Completely taking my mind of Lindsey who I hadn’t heard from or spoken to since the day she came to my house with Devin to pack out all her things. It was amicable. And I was ready to move on.

Audrey and I had been going great and the heat between us was building. So this fateful evening, it was going to happen. We had dinner at my favourite family restaurant downtown. We talked, laughed and headed uptown for the rest of the night. I gave her a soft kiss on the cheek and said “Zina Street” along with the name of the hotel. As we had both come from work we drove separately. We arrived at the hotel only a few minutes apart and I asked her to wait for me in her car while I went in.

I’d called the hotel about 2 hours prior to quickly book a suite. I lied to them that I had forgotten my anniversary and was in dire need to save the night. Who doesn’t love helping a love story? The ladies at the front desk were very helpful. I told them her name and asked that they send her up to the room when she walked in. The ladies seemed so happy to be part of a great thing. I ran up to the room and set it up. Candles were lit; the bottle of wine placed was placed in ice while I filled up the bathtub with water and bubbles. With slow jazz now playing in the background, I texted her to come up.

A few minutes later she was outside the door. I asked her to keep her eyes closed which she did. Slowly I led her into the room and put her bags down. I gently kissed her soft lips as my tongue waited patiently for its moment to explore. She kissed me back. Her lips were soft like the fresh warm middle of a muffin right out of the oven. I wanted more. I gently pulled her in and kissed her deeply. My tongue searching the insides of her mouth as her tongue responded in navigating my cavity. I slowly began to take her clothes off. Moments later she was completely naked. I fought the urge to devour her welcoming body; I failed. Taking in her breasts one in each hand, I kissed her neck down to her collarbone. I could hear the moans as I led her into the bathroom. I whispered in her ears,

Open your eyes

Gently she did as she was taken aback by the room illuminated only by candles. She was beaming and with a sly smile on her face she began to take my clothes off. Gently we stepped into the hot water in the tub filled with scented bubbles working in tandem with the candles. On top of my package she sat looking into my eyes. No words said… We just kissed and held each other tight. It felt like she was taking all of me as I opened my body to take her into me. The water was a little hot but the heat between was definitely more than I had felt in a while. The way she kissed me was like someone trying to explain their feelings, in a short time, all at once. For a minute we broke the kiss and I looked into her eyes before gently sliding into her. The pace was slow. It was the type of time one could say “I made love.”

Our eyes did most of the talking as our bodies glued in the mid-sized tub. I could feel the water seeping between our thighs as I thrust in and out of her wet cream pie. It was nothing like I had felt before. This felt like a communication of the body with eyes and other parties. Shortly after the party was over, we sat in the tub as I washed her down and she did the same, with a few kisses occasionally breaking our bathing session. Her body was gorgeous. From her silky flowing black hair to her bulky calves that folded on my lap. I wanted all of her. I was not sure if I wanted all of her because I just wanted something new but I was sure that I wanted to be everything to her and more. Slowly we stepped out of the tub and dried off. Climbing into the bed more sex would follow till we passed out. I had never been ridden like that by any woman in my life. She had a way of making her ass control the pulse in my hard member. Speeding it up till I was about to cum but making sure that I lasted long enough for her to get off. She was great! I turned over to her as we finished our glasses of wine and said,

Audrey…

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Look out for Part 3

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Amnesia

Amnesia

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                              @adewus4real #WhatTheHeckMan

“There!”

I said as I placed my hands on my head and scanned the newly decorated living room of my new place. It had finally come together. I slumped into a sitting position in the corner of the room. Looking out of the window as the sun rays squeezed into the room through the blinds.  This had been a process. Not just the setting up of the place but the gathering of my life together again.

I looked at my keys sitting on the coffee table in the middle of the room. I got up and reached for them. Out the door I went as I trudged to the mailbox. Opening it, I gathered all the mail for the week and headed back. Mortgage payments, credit cards and even a wedding hall deposit payment. These were my regulars. I was paying for a wedding and I wasn’t even…. Never mind.

 

For the past 3 months, I had been living with my cousin; Juliet. I moved out of my home during one of the craziest periods of my life. I opened mail after mail, setting and marking the corresponding bill to a due date on the calendar next to my door cabinet. I sat down on the couch, laptop to my right and some urgent bills in hand. I turned on the sound system; Pandora was playing my “Smooth Jazz” channel. I opened up my laptop and placed it on my lap. It was a $382 bill for the hall.  This was my eighth bill; one every month for the past eight. I glanced at my fingers. No wedding ring. A slow heat of rage was building within me, I was getting angry. Why was I paying for a hall and I wasn’t getting married? Well it’s a long story.

I picked up my keys and headed out the door, I needed some air. My angry fumes were threatening to burn my place down.

.   .   .   .    .

 Lindsey and I met when I was a freshman in college. She was one too. She went to a prestigious university and I was at a community college nearby after transferring over from Nigeria. I was still trying to settle down and find my way when I was introduced to her through a friend of a friend. I thought she was stuck up for whatever reason. I think it was because she was really beautiful, smart and I was somewhat intimidated by her. She grew up here and I was this fresh of the boat African lad, who was mostly mute with the fear of embarrassing myself if I ever opened my mouth. Even though she went to a different school and all, we always seemed to be around each other with our friends. Slowly, we got close. I remember knowing for months that I liked her and I wasn’t sure how to tell her. There were some awkward moments where I thought she would have known that I liked her.

One time, she walked in on my friend and I arguing about the women we hung out with and I was vehemently defending her. She pretended not to have heard anything. She would later tell me years after that the passion I showed in defending her was attractive and one of the reasons we ended up together.

After about 6 months, I began to notice a change in her attitude towards me. She was texting back; faster and initiating conversations. I was not sure what to feel but I really liked it. That summer, she came to my school to take summer classes since they were cheaper at mine than at her school. I think this was where it all built up into something. I would see her almost everyday and since I had no way of getting around, she was my chauffeur. She did everything with a smile. The way she carried herself was just a joy to watch and be around.

 

One afternoon, she picked me up and drove me to her apartment. The plan was to rent a movie and watch a film while we ate. For whatever reason, we were both tired by the time we reached her apartment. She jumped into the bed and asked to take a nap and that we could watch the movie when she wakes up. I hopped in the bed next to her and just laid there. I can’t remember exactly what we were talking about but I know she said something amusing. To my recollection it was some sort of funny slight at me. I began tickling her from behind. She was on the bed facing the wall whilst I had my back to the door. Tickling her she laughed and asked me to stop but I didn’t. Tickling led to gently biting her back and behind her neck, laughing turned to moaning and then I turned her over and got on top of her. I planted a kiss on her lips and we kissed. It was wet and passionate. I had wanted that for so long and for it to finally happen was just pleasing and scary at the same time. Not breaking the kiss, I began to run my hands all over her and then all of a sudden, she jumped up and said,

 

“I have to leave, I have to leave now. I can’t do this!” and then she ran off.

 

I was confused and extremely turned on. I remember telling myself, I don’t care what the outcome was because at least she now knew I had feelings for her. It was the most awkward drive home. I could not wait to get into my house and under my sheets. I was so embarrassed. She had said nothing about the “incident” and I was more worried about her never talking to me again. She dropped me off and did not call for 3 days. In that time I had wanted to die. I thought my whole world had collapsed around me. This woman had my heart and she didn’t even know it yet.

She would finally call me and start by going off on me. And then she slipped this line in there;

“Why didn’t you just tell me?”

 I was shocked and kind of happy. I told her I wasn’t sure if she’d felt the same way hence my holding back. She just teased me and then we joked about it. Over the next few weeks, we made our relationship official.

I always wanted to be with her and around her. It was new love, real love. I remember the night we first had sex. It was at her parent’s house. One of the popular ladies in town had thrown a massive/an elaborate party. The whole community was there so her parent’s home was empty. We snuck out of the party and headed to her there. Nervous, we got into the room and she asked me to lie on the bed on my back. I did and then she handcuffed me to both bedposts and told me not to move. She then went further and blindfolded me. I was terrified. To make matters worse, she’d left a blindfolded and naked me on the bed while she was in the other room, doing something I cannot remember. My mind was wandering.

“What if someone came in? What if this was all a trap and her friends were about to walk in and beat me up?”

All sorts of crazy things flew through my head and then she came back. Sade’s “No Ordinary Love” was now playing in the background as she climbed on the bed. Kissing me down my chest towards my excited package, I was trying to hold it together. Good first impressions during sex are extremely important. I was still blindfolded when I felt something super cold all over my stomach! I was startled and then I realized that it was whipped cream. She was licking it off me as she made her way down to my now hard six-inch member. I was nervous as she took it into her mouth. She sucked like she was new to it too. I couldn’t wait to be out of there. I was beyond myself and out of my skin.

She stopped. I heard her tear open a wrapper and then I felt the cold rubber feeling on top of my package as she slid the condom into position. Asking me to take the blindfold off after removing the cuffs, it was clear to me how beautiful she was. Naked, her dark chocolate skin glowed as her bright smile lit up the room. All of a sudden I was calmer and happy. I was slightly shaking  as I slid into her. It was tight; very tight! It was her first time and I had to be gentle. With slow movements, we warmed up. I remember being so worried about giving her a good time, I forgot to ensure that I didn’t ruin the entire party, which is exactly what I did. The actual intercourse between us lasted about 3 minutes and it was over. Those three minutes though would be the stamp to the beginning of the rest of our lives.

 

I looked up and realized that I had walked almost a mile away from my house to the waterfront. I pushed an empty shopping cart out of my way and I took a seat on a bench by the waterside and drifted back into my thoughts. Memories were dictating me, back into my mind they carried me…

.   .   .   .   .

It was 4 months after I graduated from college that we broke up; Lindsey and I. For whatever reason, it seemed like we had run our course. Things were not the same. Arguments were more frequent and lasted longer. We seemed to love each other but could not be bothered to care holistically about the other anymore and so she eventually broke it off. There was a 3 month period that we did not talk for. One night I hit her up, missing her obviously. I wanted her back in my life. I was not exactly sure why but I knew for a fact that I needed her. She would return and it was date after date, reconnecting our lives and then one night about three and a half weeks into us talking again, she dropped the bombshell.  She was pregnant and she was 75% sure it wasn’t mine.

 

I had been mad, angry, heartbroken and sad. She was supposed to have my babies and not someone else’s. “How could she do this?” I asked myself many times. She broke up with me and then chose to sleep with someone else. I wanted to hate her for it but I couldn’t because I truly loved her.

So I absolutely cut her off. The way I worked back then, if something made me uncomfortable in the slightest way, I removed it from my life and that what I did with her. I just couldn’t believe it. She wanted to get back with me too and that why she sent her best friend to come and talk to me. I really hated that conversation because it tested my resolve and I did not want her friends to see that I still loved her. But I did. I really did.

I think what made it even more difficult for me to swallow was the fact that I knew who the father of the child was.  It was someone that was supposed to be a friend of mine. I once heard somewhere that these “heauxs ain’t loyal” but these fellas are just as bad; maybe even worse.

There are some decisions that should be made solely with your heart or head. I wasn’t sure which part came up with the genius plan but I asked her to move in with me. I rented a two-bedroom apartment and paid for a full year’s worth of rent. It was going to be our home. We were going to raise our kid with love. I was willing to father that child like it was mine because their mother meant the world to me. I was sure we would be amazing parents, as we already loved each other.

 

I remember the night we moved in. The whole week leading up to that day, she had stopped me from having any physical contact with her. It was about 6pm and we were both tired from moving things into our new place. She was wearing her blue short shorts that I liked; the one with her booty hanging out of it. I just wanted her… all of her! I crept into the room as she lay on the bed. Her face was settled into a pillow as she complained about being really tired. I started kissing her calves up to the back of her thighs. She didn’t move but I could hear her muffle words asking me what I was doing. I continued and pulled her shorts down. Still no movement and then I placed my index finger on her clitoris while I moved my head to the back of her neck and gently began kissing her. My finger worked in a side-to-side motion as I continued to kiss her. I turned her over and locked lips with hers. My finger still working, our lips moved in sync as we communicated our feelings without words. Lowering my body, my tongue replaced my finger, which moved to her mouth. She sucked on my finger as my tongue continued to demonstrate precision covering every inch of her lower lips. The flood being parted by my tongue as it searched for answers that only her mouth could give. I continued to nibble on her clit as she moaned my name. I felt like I was filled up when I moved up and slid my member into her. It was slow, passionate love making. The room was candle lit because we hadn’t replaced the bulbs in that room. The sensation was different. I could feel our bodies connecting again. Pushing my dick further into her, she clutched my back and her nails dug deep into me. The pain and pleasure was my fuel as I rammed harder and deeper into her to send a clear message. I was driving her crazy and she whispered in my ear,

“Let me ride it…”

That was not a request I could decline. I got up and laid on the floor. She slid it back inside her and took control. How fast, slow, deep was all her direction. And she was dripping. Up and down, she went. I felt like I was being fucked and she owned it… all of it! And to be very honest, she did. I could feel myself ready to cum. Her juices were flowing down to my shaft to my balls. I was moaning that I was about to cum and I didn’t want to. She responded…

“Cum and I’ll make you hard again and fuck you even harder!”

I kept my mouth shut and continued to enjoy all of her on me and then, right inside her I let it all loose. She clutched her stomach area and smiled saying,

“That was really warm…”

I was trying to catch my breath and then she took my entire dick into her mouth and began sucking. Now every guy can testify that this is one of the most sensitive moments during sex. I let her suck out the last few drops and she continued. I immediately had to push her off when I noticed she knew I was getting hard again.  We curled up naked on the floor. This was home.

.   .   .   .   .

I was out with some friends from work when Lindsey’s sister, who was staying with us, called me and told me to hurry to the hospital. Her water had broken. A few friends congratulated me as I ran out and hurried to the hospital. This was the night. I was beyond excited. I’m pretty sure I did not park my car properly in the parking lot as I got out and rushed into the hospital. A few minutes later I was outside the labour/delivery ward, restlessly pacing up and down the waiting room. I was about to be a father. My family was not happy about it for various reasons; the fact that it was not my child was the most prominent one. But I was about to be a father to a beautiful baby girl that I would love and cherish.  A few months ago when we found out it was girl, I bought her a little pink baby top, which said,

“Always daddy’s little girl”

I couldn’t wait to put it on her and take her to the park near our house or evening walks to the lakeside. I was going to be there for her always. All she needed to do was come to me.

Still pacing in the waiting room, I began praying for the safe delivery of my little girl. I was praying that God would bring both mother and child to me safely… I hated the wait!! After about an hour of anxiously walking back and forth, I was drenched in sweat and starting to get tired when then the doctor walked out. He still had the mouth mask on his face as he approached me. Pulling it off he said the only words that I’d been praying against…

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I could see his mouth moving but it was like I was in an empty room with white noise railing the walls. I was trying to make out what he was saying and the words finally made it through

“I’m sorry sir. We could only save one”

 

Look out for Part 2

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Undercover Player 4

Undercover Player 4

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 @adewus4real #WhatTheHeckMan

My “true love” (Anna)

My long distance friend (Farah)

My crazy one (Jessica)

My actual woman (Sarah)

My weekend girl (Zoe)

 

I had spent a full 28 hours in cell. I was released after my mother spoke to the officers. It was dead silent on the car ride home. We both said nothing to each other. I spent the night at my parent’s home. No one said anything to me.

Very early the next morning, my parents woke me up and called me into their room. There I was attacked. My mother called me a let down and a disgrace to the family name and to her legacy. My father said he was disappointed beyond words. I was fuming inside as they both felt justified to attack me and then I snapped.

At the top of my lungs I began to yell. Spilling every single detail about how I was molested by my father’s stepsister living with us at the time and then years later my cousin. I was angry. I accused them of being failures as parents and for being too busy with the things of the world to focus on the emotional safety of their children. They were both stunned. My mother was in tears even before I was done. I stormed out of the room and into mine. Packed up my things and proceeded to leave. I was angry and I couldn’t concentrate.

When I reached my house, the first thing I went for was the bottle of alcohol. Two quick glasses and my nerves began to calm a bit. My mind was racing. I called Farah and she didn’t answer. She was on vacation to Portugal and Bangkok. I was so angry. I picked up my phone that I had just thrown on my bed and called Jessica. Even with the “Peaceful Order” issued by the court, I needed to talk to her. Face to face.

 

I was already drunk by the time she came over. Jack and I were halfway in our conversation. My breath wreaked alcohol and I was tipsy. We didn’t even talk when she walked in.

I have to admit; I think I was a bit aggressive. I pushed her up against the wall and spread her legs. Pinning her face and breasts on the wall, I slid my hand up her skirt from behind. Using my thumb, I shifted her panties out of the way and I began to massage her clit. The moans ensued. I pulled her freshly braided hair to the side and began planting kisses all down her neck. She didn’t try to move. There was something in the way my body was working hers; I was going to send a clear message. I started biting her neck as I went along and the moans got louder. My right hand was still working her clit; harder and faster now. I could feel her juices on my fingers as she got wetter and wetter. She was all mine! I got on my knees and kissed her ass cheeks before sticking my strong wet tongue into her. She let out this gasp and began scratching the wall as if she wanted to hold onto something. I could feel her get drenched as it flowed onto my tongue and my chin. I was now the one making most of the noise. The kind of slobbering sounds you hear when you’re hurriedly trying to finish a rapidly melting Popsicle. Every drop of her was going to be mine.

I was so angry. Still angry for all that she put me through. All I had asked of her was the respect she would have wanted any woman to give her if she was in her shoes. Since she didn’t want to play along, I was going to take out my aggression on her. I turned her around. Still on my knees, I looked up at her as I went in towards her clit again. This time I was nibbling. Her eyes rolled back, she let out the sigh of resignation knowing that all she was going to get was more pleasure and there was no chance that I was letting her go. She was stuck. Stuck on a high. My front two teeth enlisted my tongue as support as they owned her pink lips and it’s cohorts. She was now moaning louder and grabbing onto my head in attempt to push me off her. She almost snapped my neck off, so I stood up and walked over to my closest. I opened one of the drawers and pulled out the two sets of handcuffs. I had this evil smile on my face as I walked back to her. I moved her to my reading table. This was no movie shit. I didn’t clear the table. I sat her on it. Her bare ass cheeks on all my documents. I wanted her to spray all her juices on my papers. I wasn’t going to stop there though. I cuffed one around her left wrist and clicked it. She asked with a concerned but excited look; 

“Zane, what are you doing?”

I yelled, 

“Shut up!”

 I clicked the second arm and cuffed her to the book cabinet next to my reading desk.

Hands hanging mid air, her pussy stared me in the face and the look of excitement had turned to hesitation. She seemed fearful for what was about to happen. I was ready to give her all of it. I pulled my reading chair up and sat down. Digging in I lapped up every drop as it flowed out of her. Some of the obscene things she said, I had never heard before from anyone. I was covered in all of her as practically my entire face was soaking with her juices. I stood up and positioned my rock hard dick at the surface of her pink, ready to go! I teased her rubbing it on her lower lips without pressing in. She moaned as if to ask me to go in already. Eventually I did; slowly. She moaned and clenched her fists. That was the best she could do. I put up her legs on my shoulders as I began the stroking motion. In and out, I maintained eye contact watching her face change as I went from one level to the next. The pace picked up. I was thrusting harder, deeper and faster!

“Zane, slow down! You’re going to hurt me!!” she begged.

 I smiled and continued to pump. “Hurt” her was exactly what I wanted to do. I got angry that she tried to have me stop. I dropped her legs and leaned in, placing both hands around her neck. I pulled her in and looked at her. I knew I was about to explode but I wanted every thrust to count more than the last. I wanted her to feel every inch of me, every vein. Smearing all her juices on my hard member, I could not hold it any longer. 

“Tell me who owns it” I barked at her,

 “You, you… youuuu!” she moaned.

 “Yes!” I responded knowing fully well I only had a few thrusts left in me. I squeezed her neck. Slightly choking her as I pumped a few more times and then I pulled out… All over her stomach I squirted every drop. My aim was not the best as some of my seed spilled onto the table. I slumped into the chair. I could feel my sweaty back begin to stick to the leather seat. She was trying to catch her breath. Still cuffed, she struggled to keep her head up. I began touching the insides of her thighs. She immediately closed them up. It was super sensitive. I forced her legs apart and stuck my fingers into her. She begged me to stop. I pushed them in a bit and then pulled them up. We were both drenched in sweat. I got up and un-cuffed her hands. She didn’t even get off the table. She looked too tired. And then she asked…

 

“What The Heck Man? What was that for?”

 “Payback” I responded. “I spent a full day in holding because of your stupidity!”

 She looked at me saying, “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking properly”

 “Jessica, this has to end. It has been fun but we both gotta want more” I continued.

 She stared at me then mumbled 

“I understand and I’m sorry again” as she closed the bathroom door.

I swear in a million years, I could not even expect that conversation to have gone that way. I was just thankful that this chapter was closed for good. At least that’s what I thought.

 

.   .   .   .   . 

Even though the case had been dropped after Jessica withdrew her statement at the station claiming that she’d “overreacted”, I still couldn’t focus. Something was missing in my life. I wasn’t able to concentrate on work or anything. I knew I needed to get away. I kept thinking of where I could go. All I needed was a change of scenery.

In all my thinking, I remembered that Anna had left me to basically rot in the cell. I wanted answers. The next day a flight was booked. I was going to talk to her face to face and find out what truly happened. I arrived in the heat at about 2pm. A thirty-minute cab ride and I was at her apartment. Still in graduate school, I know Anna did not have class at that time. I waited till a car went through the automated gates and walked into the apartment complex. I arrived at her door and knocked. I heard movement and then she looked through the peep-hole. With a look of confusion and surprise she opened the door. The look on her face said… you guessed right, “What The Heck Man.” I smiled and walked in. Pleasantries aside, I asked her about what had happened and why she acted that way when I called from the station. She didn’t answer at first then she went on to say,

“I didn’t want to continue the cycle. You wouldn’t be with me but you wanted everything from a relationship. No Zane. No.”

 

I understood her perfectly, I was selfish. I wanted all her support and love but I was not willing to get over my issues and trust her fully and just be with her. Sigh.

We talked for hours and then she made dinner. Brown rice, stew with smoked turkey and boiled plantains.  Anna and I had a connection, I knew she loved me and vice versa. She was just frustrated. She wanted to be there for me through everything but I had to understand how it looked to be with her for that long and not officially enter a relationship. It must have been difficult to comprehend. I just wanted her to know that I was trying to figure me out before I joined me with someone else again.

She was cuddled up next to me when the conversation drifted towards the Jacuzzi and I suggested that we hop into it. A few minutes later swimwear clad, we walked to the Jacuzzi area. It was off. We snooped around until she found the switch and turned it on. It got hot pretty fast. We stepped in and began to talk. She was sitting on my lap as we began to reminisce on memories and on how far we had come together. From memories of our struggle to sex stories, we covered it all. Intimately as we shared that Jacuzzi together, I could feel it get hotter. I wanted her and I knew what she wanted me too. She began stroking my hardening shaft. She turned around and looked at me. Without saying a word she pushed her panties aside and slid my package inside her. It was hot. My balls were feeling the heat bubbles of the water boiling underneath them as my dick held full strength position in her as she worked her waist on it. I was holding her waist and kissing her passionately. This woman had all of me. The way her body was in sync with mine. I ran my hand over her tattooed thigh and squeezed her tighter. It was slow. It was controlled. She did not leave that position or lose control. Up and down she worked me until I was ready to give it all to her. She dictated the pace. Now I wanted to cum but I definitely wasn’t going to do that in the water. I lifted her up and put her on all fours right beside the Jacuzzi. I returned my dick back into her dripping pussy as I held her waist. I controlled the motion making sure that my dick was hitting every corner of her pussy. Discovering new reaches, she grabbed the edge of the Jacuzzi while looking back at me with those wanting eyes pleading with me to go in a little deeper. My balls were slamming against her clit as the passion was soaring out the roof. I took a handful of her hair in my hand, pulling her towards me; each thrust seemed to be a statement as our bodies moved in sync. She was moaning uncontrollably as I neared my climax. We slumped next to each other as I spurted out every drop from inside me on the floor. Naked, we curled next to each other as we stared into the sky. I was beyond confused on what to now do.

I would leave two days later after amazing talks, reconnecting and amazing sex. We even shared a run around the lake down the street from her house. We rediscovered what it felt like to love each other. I was on a high even with the sadness that came with leaving her. I hugged her tightly until the airport staff asked her to move her car. Reluctantly, we let go and she promised to make the next trip down. I had just made it through security when I received a call from my dad. I answered,

“Hello daddy…”

“How are you, son?” he said,

“Fine sir…You?” I responded.

 “Not great. We haven’t seen your mother for 4 days and she hasn’t contacted anyone. Have you heard from her? We are all worried” he said anxiously. 

“Fuck” I cursed under my breath…

“No sir, I’ll call her and get back to you” I said as I ended the call. 

I was worried now. Confused. Had my confrontation driven her over the edge? What have I done? Fuck!

“The number you have dialed is unavailable. Please leave a message…”

This was probably the 12th time I had called and my mother was still not answering. Now I was beginning to panic. She had never done something like this before. She had been really distant since the day I got out of jail. I called Sarah and she didn’t answer either. I left her a message asking her to call me. I hopped into my car at the airport parking and continued to try calling her. Nothing.

I was about 15 minutes from home when I received a series of text messages from Sarah. They were screenshots of messages between her and Jessica. I was stunned. I pulled over to the side of the road. I was confused and angry. What had Jessica done? Why? I thought things had ended the best way possible. Wow…You can never trust these women. Never!

I was torn. Do I keep calling my mother or Sarah? I was trying Sarah; I needed to explain things to her. I needed to explain that I ended it all with Jessica so I could focus on trying to build something with her. Sarah!!!

It had been an hour and I was still sitting on the side of the road in my car when I got a Twitter notification. I had been tagged in a photo. Shortly, more notifications of photos flooded my phone. Jessica was posting pictures of our conversations on the Internet. My heart froze. I was scrolling through them all and then a call from Jessica came through.

“Jessica, what are you doing?!” I yelled at the top of my lungs.

She only said one phrase…

“I only just started with you!” 

I literally think I peed on myself. I immediately began thinking of super private things I had shared with her like naked pictures, recordings and more. Even though I had the same of her, in this game, the first to call one out usually has the upper hand and Jessica really didn’t care if her naked pictures showed up on the Internet. She was that type of crazy.

I was losing it. I couldn’t take it all. There was so much blood rushing to my head. I was going crazy and then I turned over to my passenger seat. My prescription pills sat there; Amoxicillin and 800mg of Ibuprofen, twenty-one pills each. I picked the bag and decided to end it all. End all the pain. I think I was just over it all. I’m not exactly sure what I was thinking to be honest.

I opened the door and sat outside the car. I looked at the pills in my left hand and my cell phone in my right. I called my mother one last time and said 

“I never meant to bring you pain. I’m sorry… I hope you someday forgive me.”

I left the same message for Sarah and I laid the phone down to my left side and popped the pills. Almost all of them at one go. I sat there for a few minutes looking at the trees and listening to the birds chirp and then it got really dark. I was headed to a familiar place. 

 

Image

.   .   .   .   .

Someone calling my name woke me.

“Zane, Zane honey. It’s mummy” 

I slowly opened my eyes and there was my mother, holding my right hand. She was speaking to me slowly but I couldn’t exactly make out what she was saying. The doctors walked in a few minutes later and explained to a more awaken me that I had attempted to overdose and commit suicide. I put my head down as I was filled with regret for that decision. My mother was rubbing my hand saying it was okay, continuously thanking God for sparing my life and for the person that had spotted me lying on the side of the road. I was somewhat grateful for being alive. The doctor told me that my heart had stopped for a while and it was a miracle that I was still alive. My mother put her hands up and thanked God again. I was weak.

The doctor had left and that’s when I realized that my left hand was cuffed to the bed. I asked my mother why and how long I’d been there for. She said it had something to do with a psychiatric emergency hold for 72hrs. Apparently I’d already been there a day and half! She mentioned that I could possibly leave after a psychiatrist evaluated me. She began talking to me about how she loved me and was sorry she had not there for me. 

Sarah, Anna, Jessica, Farah and Zoe all did not seem to matter. My mother, with the strongest form of love in the planet was there for me. And I could not be more grateful. I glanced back into the room from my long gaze out into the sunny hills and looked the psychiatrist in the face.

“That was how it all happened…” I said

I looked up at the clock and then back at the psychiatrist. My time in this session was almost up. I had one every week for the past six months.

He continued jotting down in his notepad. This was my fourth evaluation in the past 3 months at this psych hospital. That meeting with my mother was 6 months ago. They have not let me out ever since. Apparently, I have not been fit to go back into the society as I have been ruled a danger to myself. If you’re reading this, I’m obviously still in here and hoping you find this story interesting enough to publish. I am so alone in here and I have not had a single visit from anyone who once claimed to love me. Abilify and Prozac are my prescribed meds for my depression. I think the cure lies in the hands of the women I gave my heart to but here I am, all alone. Dressed in all white but completely dark on the inside.  

Sigh…

My name is Zane and I really think I lost this game.

 

                                                                                                                      The End.

              #UndercoverPlayer4

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Thank you ALL!!!!

Follow me on Twitter @ADEWUS4REAL and lookout for my next story.

 

Till you read again. Ask the next guy/gal, #WhatTheHeckMan

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Undercover Player 3

                                                                                                                                                                                                                         @adewus4real #WhatTheHeckMan

IMG_20140308_060402

My “true love” (Anna)

My long distance friend (Fara)

My crazy one (Jessica)

My actual woman (Sarah)

 

It had been 3 days since I had spoken to anyone. Sarah, Jessica, Anna or even Farah. I had drifted into this dark place that I was becoming a regular guest in. The blinds were closed. There were 8 Smirnoff bottles by my bedside, empty. I was listening to Nina Simone’s “Do I Move You” one of my favorite tracks of all time and I felt that I was tipsy. Staring up at the wall clock, it was 18 minutes past ten and I lay in bed edging closer to bum status.

I had managed to push all the women in my life away because I realized that I was very depressed. I told Sarah I did not want a relationship, Anna I snapped at for whatever reason, and then there’s Jessica. Well Jessica is Jessica so no need for a story there but it was what happened with Farah that has me upset. Farah and I got into it because I told her that I could not trust her. I think by now many of you would have realized that I have some trust issues and maybe underlying image issues. Sometimes I just couldn’t understand why some of these women wanted to be with me. I was never confident in my abilities and my looks. Don’t get me wrong, I obviously do well with the ladies but I never attributed it to myself especially if she was a woman that a lot of men wanted. Once I notice she’s interested in me, I begin to panic and expect the worst. “Maybe she’ll find better” or realize that I’m not that great, so the fear cripples anything positive that I would sincerely like to happen.

Farah and I were talking a few nights ago when she mentioned some other guy being interested in her. I watched how she was flirted with and how she normally flirted back. I just never truly trusted her but she always told me it was nothing. You can’t trust these women, anyone for that matter. I guess I was still insecure within myself with all the things that I had gone through previously in my life. I was not sure why (with all the options she had) she picked me. Farah understood it though. She knew why I did what I did. It wasn’t right and she never failed to put me in check, but she knew what depression looked like. It was something I hoped Sarah or Anna would notice and help me with but they just didn’t. Farah was ambitious. She was the ideal woman; perfect body I always wanted to do things to and the brains to match and she seemed to truly care about me. What more could one ask for? But every time I remembered all these things, I would be redirected in my head to the distance between us. She was so near to my heart but so far away. I would never be faithful in a long distance relationship, I know myself. I tried a long distance relationship once and I was cheated on and then coupled with my trust issues? There was no way, I had to have the person close by. Judge me but it’s the truth.

Farah and I were talking and I was becoming a little more pissed off. I had been highly irritable lately and usually that meant that my depression was getting the best of me. I had been thinking too much. I had been thinking of a time when I was almost invisible. Women barely noticed me. I was friends with many but none wanted to be with me. Then I thought of now. Now it is nonstop attention, and I can’t seem to commit to the one I truly love, for the fear of being unfaithful. Farah said something and I snapped, I can’t remember what I said but I said it and that was it. The called ended shortly after and I hadn’t talked to her since.

I looked up at the clock again. It was now 10:32pm. I picked up my phone and texted Farah.

“I’m sorry”

I waited for her response eagerly, repeatedly staring at the phone, waiting for the little blue light to start blinking.

Nothing.

I opened up another bottle and stole a gulp and then it went off. She texted back.

“I know you’re in a dark place. I’m here when you’re ready to talk”

My heart warmed. How could someone be so perfect? I texted her back.

“We need to meet up soon. Let me know. I’ll take time off work”

 

.  .   .   .   .

I had been a better mood now for a couple of days. Sarah was talking to me again after some serious begging (she’s not like Farah, she’s super stubborn). We agreed that we needed a getaway- time to focus on us and if we really wanted to do this. We planned to leave that weekend to Paso Robles; a little wine country city a few hours away. I was excited and nervous at the same time.

That Friday I had worked the whole day and ended up getting stuck in traffic, after being asked by my boss to do something at the very last minute. I just wanted to get to Sarah already. We had a 3-hour drive ahead of us and it was already 8pm. She tried all her best to remain patient but I could tell she was becoming agitated. Imagine having plans for a specific time but the other person was late; it can very easily upset someone. When I got to her, she was already at her limit. I swiftly apologized and we got on the road. About midway through the trip, I mentioned something about the sex. I can’t remember how the conversation started but I remember saying to her-

“I want to do legal but ungodly things to you.”

She smiled, looked at me and in the most nonchalant way, she said

“I think my period might be coming soon.”

I turned and looked at her, assuming she was just fucking with me I asked

“How soon is soon?”

She replied

“It was supposed to start today”

I kept my head straight on the road but I was fuming.

“What the actual fuck?” I thought to myself. Was she trying to say she did not know her period would be coming soon when she allowed me to spend all this money to book the trip? I know many of you are thinking that the trip was meant to be for us to reconnect, and it was, but who the hell said sex was not involved in the reconnection? I was angry.

In her usual manner, she first touched my arm and then went into using her baby voice and talked me into forgiving her. She made sure to highlight the fact that it hadn’t started yet, so we could make the most of it at least before it starts. I smiled in attempt to hide my anger.

We arrived at the hotel about an hour later. She had passed out in the car. I took all the bags in, after checking us in, then woke her up. She was too tired and yes! You guessed right, I got no play that night.

The next day I woke up to breakfast in bed, her attempt to bribe me. It was a nice gesture. She sat in front of me with no clothes on feeding me blueberry pancakes with sausages and it was a beautiful sight to behold. We got dressed after, and headed out to the Vineyard for wine tasting. I really could not focus on anything else; I just wanted her, all of her, on me. We had a lady pouring each glass of wine for us as we tried different wines. Together we laughed and joked as we spent time together. In the back of my mind, I just wanted her in a closed space, to just take control of her. So I devised a plan to get her so turned on that she would not be able to resist me. I left her for a moment, and went to the bathroom to text her-

Let me come in there and violate you.
Laying you on top of that wine counter on your chest, I want to begin kissing you from the left side of your face while I slowly start to come to your lips as you feel my hot breath on your cheeks and my soft lips now working towards your neck. I want to take your bra off and continue kissing your back all the way down. My right finger on your clit, massaging it from left to right, up and down. I’ll lift you up onto all your 4s. Spreading those round cheeks with my hands, I’ll stick my tongue deep into your pink… My tongue searching for answers in the depths of your pussy. My nose, lips, chin and cheeks are now covered in the inviting flooding from inside. You’re scratching the desks and moaning into the wood while my fingers dig into your butt and my tongue ploughs your pussy…”

A few minutes later, I walked back into the room like absolutely nothing had happened. She had just finished reading my text. Her face was flushed red. Her knees wobbled and she just glared at me. It was like her eyes said “What the Heck MAN????” I smiled, licked my lips and winked at her. She looked like she wanted to punch me. We finished tasting our last glass of wine and then we turned to leave. She pulled me close and said

“I’m fucking soaked”

I smiled. Step one was complete.

We sat on the outer deck of the vineyard with other people around. She said she was turned on and wanted sex now. She went on to say

“I’m so turned on, I could ride you right here. Right now. “

I looked at her squarely, smiled and said

“I dare you”

I held my glass in my hand. Her blue bag and the bottles of wine sat on the footrest, she looked at me with this evil grin on her face. I dared her to do it; she chuckled and stared at me. She began to unzip my pants, maintaining fierce eye contact. I asked her what she was doing, but she did not say a word. She put her hand down my pants and cupped my rapidly hardening member in her hand and began to roll my balls between her fingers. She leaned in and whispered in my ear “you dared me right? I’ll suck your dick right here in the open” and then she sat back. Instantly, I was rock hard. I knew she could and was capable of doing it. Fearless she was. She leaned down took the first inch showing out of my pants into her mouth. It was broad daylight with about twenty people around us! I was stunned. She began working her tongue around the head of my shaft while I looked on in disbelief and concern, trying to make sure nobody could see us.

She lifted her head and asked me to meet her in the bathroom. I waited about 3-mins after she went into the bathroom and then I followed. I walked into the men’s bathroom and waited. She did not come. I realized that we had not decided what bathroom to meet in, male or female. We had done it in the ladies bathroom before a few months back. I figured it was my turn to have it on my playing field. A captain like myself should not be playing away all the time. A few minutes later she walked into the men’s bathroom and with her loud voice, she said “are you in here?” practically disregarding the fact that there could have been any number of people in there. There were only two stalls and I was in the further one from the door. I responded and she walked in. She glared at me as if to ask why I did not show up in the ladies bathroom. I pushed her up against the wall and put my hand under her blouse and cupped her breast in my hand kissing her passionately. The words floated out of the corner of her mouth into thin air. I began kissing down her neck. She wrapped her right foot around my left leg. Her head knocked back, as I kissed my way down her neck bone with her inviting perfume as my guide. I turned her around, head now facing the wall. I then moved her hair to the left side of her face and began kissing her neck again. I could sense that she was getting turned on and could no longer wait for me with the foreplay. She looked back at me and said “fuck me now”. I unzipped my pants and dropped my belt; my dick was already showing its head out of my briefs so I bent her over and slid it inside her. It was wet. Very wet. Holding her waist, I controlled the motions thrusting with finesse to avoid making any noises or her moaning too loud. She began to thrust back towards me and the noise was a bit more. I tried to stop her but I think the glasses of wine were hitting her. She was throwing it back to me with such determination. I continued to pump in and out, even when a man walked into the bathroom. He eased himself, washed his hands, listened closely as though he had heard some action out of the stall and then left. We continued. With his departure I pounded away and hoped nobody would come in while I was about to unload; oh how I hate my cum face and my grunts. Her pussy was so good. It was wet, slippery and owning my dick and then it happened, I began to get much closer to cumming. She looked at me and said “keep going”. I kept thrusting but gave her a look of disgust. I thought to myself, “this is not the 5 or 10k”. You don’t need to tell me to keep going like this is a marathon. And then it came, she said my trigger phrase “fuck me” and I knew I was going to cum, very soon. Quietly I grunted, as I jerked my shaft out and shot all my seed onto the floor. She looked at me and smiled. She had gotten what she wanted. She put her clothes on, kissed me on the cheek and walked out. I was turned on again but confused. That was amazing.

We headed back to the hotel to chill and get ready for dinner.  Relaxing while we lay in bed, we began to talk about why things had been the way they were. Sarah had hurt me before when she led me to believe something and then did something else. Broader story but I’ll save y’all the hurt too. We talked about my hesitancy to enter another relationship and the truth was I that I was still in a dark place; depressed most times and I felt that being in a relationship with that feeling would be selfish. Sarah was upset because she thought I was playing games and wanted boyfriend privileges from her without the title. But this wasn’t the case. I truly wanted a relationship and to be happy, but my fear of heartbreak crippled me before I even go into one. I remember sitting in bed with her and looking straight into her eyes and I said,

“I don’t know exactly how it will happen but I know that we are meant for each other and I pray God helps show that in the easiest way possible. I am truly scared of a life without you. You make me so happy. Continue to give me all your love and patience through these dark times, and I hope to come out of it as the best man I can be for you.”

She leaned and hugged me, and in all honesty, that was the safest I had felt in a woman’s arms. She held me and I truly felt like I was walking by a peaceful water levee back when I first realized what love was.

We both got ready and headed out to dinner. A quick photo-shoot in the hotel hallway and we were ready to go. I remember walking past the elevator on our way down to the parking lot and suggesting that we create memories in there; she didn’t buy it. Dinner was amazing. Oh my love for sushi! It was great food and even better company. On our way back to the hotel, we stopped by the local pharmacy to grab some snacks.

I was trailing her as we headed into the bedroom. We unlocked the door and began changing our clothes when the brilliant idea struck me; there was a balcony to the left of our room where we could go and smoke some of the Kush we came with. We changed and headed to the balcony. It was a non-smoking facility but we didn’t care. The balcony was a huge one. Our floor happened to have the only door that led to it. But all the rooms on that side of the hotel shared the balcony. We scanned for cameras and found none. It was time to blaze.

Moonlight lighting up the balcony we had discovered, it was cold but quiet. On a non-smoking facility, we sat in the cold and lit the swisher. A few puffs and the mood was right. We started talking as we puffed and passed. Sitting closely together, I began to run my left hand up the inner side of her thigh. She looked at me and smiled asking me what I was doing. I said nothing and kept my hand sliding to its destination. She began to move her body as my fingers neared the chocolate factory.  As I kissed on her neck and down her blouse, she kept on smoking. There was no need for her to stop.

Weed in her hand, pussy in my mouth. I was working and she was puffing. Clouds moved from right to left in the sky. She asked me why one big cloud covered the moon as my tongue moved uncontrollably from left to right. I was in there. The warmth on my face from her chocolate factory, to the chilling cold on my bare back. I put her legs on my shoulder and continued to work. All of a sudden the lights in one of the rooms went on. She twisted her neck to her right to look behind her and said

 “Zane! I think someone might see us”

I muttered

 “So?”

Now I don’t know about you men out there but unlike Kanye, you have to let your woman finish. I nibbled on her clit just a bit more. She placed her left hand on my head and worked it in motion over her pussy. I loved the way she called my name when her juices smeared my face. She dug her fingers deep into my neck as she came all over my tongue with me lapping up every drop.

We got up and stumbled into the room. She wanted to play a drinking game so she poured the liquor into the cups while I set the mood; I had other plans. I put on a porn video. The game was simple. We ask each other questions, and if you got the question wrong? A piece of clothing came off and you took a shot. She won the battle but I won the war. She couldn’t focus. She was tipsy and extremely turned on by the video playing next to her. She ultimately said

“Babe, I want you now”

 I was in business. I flung my shorts off my waist and carried her to the couch of the hotel suite. I gently placed her down. It was then I realized that I was tipsy also. Drunk sex?

She stared and squinted at my package as if it was her first time meeting him. I rubbed it on her lower lips. She was really wet.

I maintained full eye contact as I slid into her. It was hot. Not warm, HOT. Slowly, I worked my way in, covering all of me with her wetness. She gently moaned my name; as I began to pick up the pace, her voice got louder. She was really tipsy and was beginning to not care about how loud she was. In some way, I felt the hotel intentionally gave us a room at the end of the hallway. I was pushing deeper and deeper. With her legs on my shoulders, I raised her creampie closer to me as I made sure my member hit the deepest corners of her body. Her eyes were closed as she took every inch of me. I wanted to turn her over but she refused. She pushed me onto the couch and dropped on her knees. She slowly took the first few inches of my manhood into her mouth; I knew I was screwed, with her soft lips, wet on my dick. She slobbered all her spit all over it. I was so close to exploding in her mouth. Almost every man can relate when I say, I began coaching and inspiring myself to not let loose. She was that good. She worked her mouth over my shaft. She looked up at me, winked and I immediately felt a shiver down my spine. How was she doing that?

I quickly realized that this was another battle I was going to lose if no action was taken. I quickly got up and grabbed her. She complained that I was being selfish for not letting her make me cum. I asked her to get on all her fours. I slid back into her. It was perfect. Like drinking a cold soft drink in the summer after returning from catching buses all day in the sun. I repeat perfect. I could almost always control myself but somehow I felt like the weed and the alcohol were going to cause me to cum faster than I wanted to. I was stroking in and out of her and she began throwing it back to me too. I was for sure about to explode. I began to grunt and thrust harder. Clearest signs of my ejaculation and then she said

“Shoot inside me baby, I want to feel it all inside me”

“OH HELL TO THE FUCK NO!!!!”

I thought to myself. I remember what I had just been through with Jessica. I was not making that mistake again.

I responded

“NO”

She replied in between moans

“I’m on the pill”

I replied

“And I don’t give a fuck, still…”

I glanced over and saw my reflection in the mirror. Acknowledging my skill, I continued to work and I knew I was about to cum when I heard the ugly words come of my mouth.

“Ugh Ugh Ugh!!!”

It happened. All over her butt, I sprayed every drop.

Clutching my manhood in my hands, I was bent over like a man that had just been punched in the gut. We slumped in bed. A few minutes she was cleaned up and with that satisfied look on her face, she curled up next to me and said

 “Why do you look so tired?”

I glanced over and gave her the dirtiest look I have ever given and thought to myself “how did this happen?”

On our way home from our trip, while we stopped to buy gas’ Jessica called me and said

 “I’m in town we need to talk. Come to my hotel room tomorrow. I’ll text the deets” 

I actually thought to myself that this was perfect. I was going to roll up in there and tell her it was over and I wanted to begin working towards getting serious with someone else.

.   .   .   .   .

 The biggest mistake I would make was eventually lying to Sarah about where I was going to the next day. I had picked up some flowers and I was planning to surprise Sarah with them when Jessica called and asked that I come over immediately. So I headed there, not realizing that I had the flowers in my hand. Right before I walked into the room, Sarah called me and asked me where I was. I lied and said that I was at my friend’s house in a different city. Jessica was in her bathrobe, obviously her attempt to get my attention and potentially start something.

I began talking to her about how we both have been through a lot and needed to grow, apart. She looked at me with a look of confusion.

 “What?! So you mean the flowers aren’t mine? You’re not trying to fuck me anymore? Cos you got some new chick right?!”

 I knew Jessica, and I knew engaging her was just going to put me in more trouble.

I kept calm and explained to her that I just wanted to grow alone. She was not having it. She began to yell. At the top of her lungs she was shouting assault, rape and battery. I was stunned. I wanted to stop her but she just kept on yelling. I began begging her to stop but she was not listening. A few minutes later, I heard a knock on the door; it was the police.

I cracked the door open and attempted to explain to the officers what had happened. She started yelling from the back of the room.

“He hit me, he hit me”

The officer politely asked me to step outside the room and he cuffed me. I was in hand cuffs!!!! For what?!

IMG_20140308_125119

I sat there hoping they would see she was lying.  A few minutes later, the officer returned and said she claimed I pushed her. I had pushed her at one point when she charged at me but I did not hit her. Fuck!

The officer said he was going to have to take me downtown to get my statement and then go from there. I was stunned. How did this happen to me?

I looked at Jessica as they walked me away and she had a smile on her face. This woman was pure evil.

The entire ride to the station, all I could say in my head was

“What The Heck Man”

 We reached the station and the police booked me after taking my statement. I was told I could be released on bail and given a preliminary stay away order from Jessica.

I had my one phone call.

Who would I call? I could not call Sarah because I had lied about where I was earlier. So I reverted to calling the one person who was always there for me and was always ready to support me through everything.

I dialed Anna’s number and she answered, I told her the whole story and she responded.

 “I’m sorry, I’m not coming down there”

I was stunned and this overwhelming sense of loneliness came over me.

I put the phone down and I was taken back into the holding cell. How did I get here?

From trying to be a player, to this?

All these women in my life and I was going to spend the night in jail alone.

Well, I needed some covers to hide under tonight; this man in the corner was staring squarely at me like he wanted me.

I dropped my head and sighed. I seemed to always have a lot of women around me and here I was all alone. No one to call. Trust issues shackled me, my indecisiveness and the fear of getting hurt have led me further down into this dark place. Like when I started, here I am alone again. The jig was up, Zane.

Undercover Player?

Game Over?

                                                                                                   Watch Out for Undercover Player 4


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Remote Control

#WhatTheHeckMan @adewus4real

 

My thumb was hurting from liking every pic on my Instagram timeline. Well, excluding Cynthia’s, she’s a bitch. Story for another day.

Zzzzz…. Zzzzz…. Zzzzz…

I really didn’t want to check my phone as I was trying to convince myself that I was going to sleep before 2am.a

Zzzzz….

I still ignored, keeping my eyes glued to my alarm clock on the right side of my bed with my back to my phone. It seemed to be the only way to get any kind of sleep as my sentencing to a life as an insomniac continues.

Zzz…

Oh fuck it! I turned around and cut the vibrating notification midway. The super bright lights of my new IPhone were blinding my eyes. I punched in the code and opened up my Whatsapp messaging. Sigh. It was Tunde.

Tunde and I have been an on and off thing for a few years now. I think 4 to be exact. We met in my second year of University, his last. He was funny, charming and he wanted me. Everything he said or did, showed me that I was the woman he wanted but I didn’t want him. I had my eyes on someone else. Someone I thought at the time was “badder and better” than him. His name was Shile. But this isn’t about him.

Time has passed and water has sailed under and rained on the bridge of our friendship and Tunde has still been close. We were much closer than this until he graduated and secured a great job. He started to take better care of himself, his style changed, even the kind of girls attracted to him were classier. Heck! I’d say he found his real swag and was swimming in confidence.

New job. New car. New apartment. New Tunde.

I sometimes had to remind myself that this was the same dude that was offering me a rose a few Valentines’ ago and I totally shut him down. I’m surprised I did all that to him but he still stayed and didn’t cut me out of his life. Last year around my birthday, my boyfriend at the time decided a few weeks ahead to go to South Africa on business and subsequently missed my birthday. He was away talking about “I’ll bring your birthday gift back for you”. I was like no o! Keep whatever they’ve given you there to yourself. Ass.

I was home most of the day when Tunde hit me up and asked me to dinner for my birthday. I didn’t have any other plans but I didn’t want to seem pathetic so I told him to let me see if I could move things around and then maybe we could go. We went out that night and I had an amazing time. He was such a gentleman and his gift, a nice Versace perfume set was one of the best I got that day. That night, it happened.

Weeks later, I began to see myself falling for Tunde but he was different now. Still sweet and caring but I constantly felt like I was now having to duel for his attention with other women. Things were not the same. He replied my texts late, didn’t always call back when he said he would and was sometimes too busy to hang out, even when I was the one offering my time. It was like he’d figured the right line where being a nice guy and an asshole crossed and never really crossed to either side.

We’ve had sex a few more times since then but it was always this pattern. He would hit me up late at night to either come through or vice versa. We handle our business and then gone. For the most part while I was talking to my new man, I didn’t mind. Tunde’s dick game was good and so I played my part like a team player and caught the pass whenever it was thrown my way. Don’t you even dare call me a hoe!  Because I know you have one guy like that in your life. We all ain’t shit.

I had sworn I wouldn’t do this anymore. It was a new year but here I was fixing my booty shorts making sure that my butt was hanging out just enough. I wasn’t wearing a bra so I was ready to go. I slipped on my stripped blue and yellow socks, grabbed my keys off the dining table and out the door I went.

Looked at the clock and it was now 2:19am. I had 41 minutes to make it down to his place, those mallams close the gates at 3am and it can be a pain to have them let you in. I was already on the bridge to the island when I realised how I was dressed could end up being a problem. I could see the tiny white light ahead on the way. The policeman was waving his flashlight and motioning me to park.  He motioned for me to wind down my window, which I did.

“Madam, where you dey go at this hour?” Asking me where I was en-route to. “Don’t you know these streets are dangerous and they can harm you?” he continued. I had to lie.

“Oga I know o, I dey go pick up my friend from her boyfriend house. She just call me say dem dey fight”. I told. He seemed truly concerned for a bit and said “make I follow you go there?”  while he looked down my low cut Mckenzie T-shirt.

“No need sir, she no dey in danger”. He looked at me again and smiled as if seriously holding his tongue from saying something inappropriate and then he told me to go ahead and be safe.  Sigh, I shook my head.

Shit!

I cursed. Glancing at the car clock, that exchange had set me back another 4 minutes. I would be so pissed if I had to talk my way into that apartment because of this useless police officer. Hitting 80mph, I barely made it there as I pulled in the parking spot it was 2:57am. Close.

.  .  .  .  .

 The next challenge was getting up to his apartment. For as nice as his apartment was the worst part about it was the fact that it was on the 12th floor and in this country, Nigeria, if there was no light? Welp! You were pretty much screwed. There was light at his place but the apartment complex would not use the generator they were using to power the elevator so I had to walk. Right before I started walking upstairs, I asked myself it was worth it. 4th floor and my calves were starting to feel it but I kept on walking. I was going to make it up.

I finally arrived at the door. I heard the locks click as the door opened up. There he was… 6’2, broad shoulders, a full beard with that wry smile and that deep voice he said “good morning”. I swear I felt my knees buckle as I attempted to hide the smile on my face. He bent down to hug my tiny 5’5 self, his huge arms wrapped around me. I could feel his hard member down there on me as he pushed in on the hug.

He lifted me up, straddled me and kissed me. My butt cheeks in his strong hands. My mind began to wander as he carried me to his bed. He began kissing me around my neck, my eyes closed, my head kicked back and I was floating.

The words “The Midas Touch” raced through my mind as his tongue gently brushed my shorts again, this time a little firmer, pressing the material against my cream-pie until felt my shorts absorb my juices. I was so wet. Again passed his tongue and he could feel my now sodden shorts as they clung to every contour of my pussy. My warm juices rubbed on his tongue as I watched him move his hand to his mouth to taste it. As his hand returned down south I could feel my body tense up anticipating his touch. Moving back to my quivering thighs, I could feel his tongue start trace a wet trail. I closed my eyes.

As I opened my eyes I felt his tongue press into me. In my confused state I feel my body shifting but his rough tongue grazing my clit is still a shock for me, causing my hips to buck beneath me. His face is now pressed against me and I could hear him come up for air as he inhaled deeply, he wanted to enjoy this moment, to savor all of me. Bit by bit, I could feel all of me go as he took control of me. His tongue searched the walls inside of me. I could no longer control it. His tongue, his unstable tongue moved at such speeds that it was illegal to make someone’s body feel that way.  I wanted to scream but I couldn’t. There was a height of pleasure that he was taking me to that was higher than the 12th floor we were on.

He came up and looked deep into my eyes, like a savage animal ready to feast or a wronged person looking for revenge. My chocolate juices smeared all over his beard, he pulled down his shorts. There it stood, the area around it completely bare. It was hard, so hard I feared for myself and there he went. He bent down as if to put it inside me. I grab the sheets and let out a huge gasp as it slid inside me.

Fuck! It was huge!

This was exactly why I climbed up 12 flights of stairs and I would do it again. He began to pick up the pace. In and out he went. His hands clutching my breasts as they bounced up and down with each thrust. I was moaning shit that I can’t seem to recollect right now. Tunde was hitting it good. I remember saying his name at least a million times and he loves that shit. Hearing his name like he was the star player of a team that had just made the winning goal. The harder he pounded, the more I yelled his name. I could see him nearing explosion but I wasn’t done yet so I asked him to lay on his back and got on top of him. Squatting onto his rock hard package I let it all slide inside me, up and down that ass went on his member. I could tell he loved the view. My ass still bouncing on his hard dick, he placed his hands on my waist to control my movements and I knocked them off.  He was going to feel every corner of this pussy on his member. And then he did it, he pulled my hair while I was riding him, he pulled my hair! I was caught off guard but I kept on going. My head kicked back, my tits continued to bounce in the air as I worked on that wood.

Minutes later Tunde puts me into position on the bed on all fours. I grabbed the sheets tighter, feeling his dick in my gut. It was hitting all sorts of things that I could not explain. Deeper with each thrust, I lost all feelings in my legs. I was holding for dear life as he had one side of my waist in his right hand and my hair in the other. He absolutely loves that doggy position. Occasionally he would smack my ass to remind me who was working here. I placed my head into the pillows to drown out my moaning as I was going insane. This was it. This was one of the reasons why I wanted him so much. I needed every inch of him in me.

He was nearing his max as he put his long strong arms on my shoulders and started to thrust harder, like a scene out of the movie 300, he yelled “Argh!!!!!!” as he let out a full one inside his condom. He shot it all out. And it went limp, like a once powerful but now fallen empire, his package dropped out of me. Like a cheerful giver, he returned down to the scene of the damage he just caused and began massaging my clit with his tongue. The heat from his mouth on my pulsating clit was driving me insane. I was about to cum… Gahd!!!! I went silent as I neared my climax and he kept on going! His tongue was driving me crazy and then….

Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

I let out in the loudest scream I have ever let out. I was weak, confused and satisfied. Fuck! Tunde came up and kissed me on my forehead and that’s all I remember.

. . . . . .

I smelled eggs. Sausages maybe? I could hear someone cooking. I slowly woke up and turned to my right side to check for Tunde, he wasn’t in bed. The sun was shinning into the room and from the 12th floor the city had a great view. It was 10:44am. I reached for my phone on the bedside and unlocked it while thinking about how I knocked out last night. Instagram notifications, twitter notifications, emails, texts but no missed calls. Great!

As I was putting the phone down and packing up my hair, Tunde walks in; he’s on the phone. He drops a tray he was holding in my lap. He’d made me breakfast in bed. I was beaming from left to right on my face when I heard him say to the person on the other end of the phone ‘babe, when are you coming over?”.  I was shocked. I had a piece of sausage in my mouth and I chewed like a sick child rejecting his food. What?!

He then looks at me and asks, “when are you leaving again?”. Still stunned I said soon. He responded with “Okay”.

So Tunde has a girlfriend?! Did he just kick me out in some way? I was angry. I couldn’t think straight. I packed my stuff and hurried out without saying bye. He tried to stop me, I think to explain some crap but I wasn’t having it. I cursed as I hurried down the flight of stairs. How could he be so cruel? And why the hell did this walk of shame have to start from 12 floors off the ground?!

I made it into my car and tears began rolling down my face. And then my phone rang. It was my boyfriend, Soga, probably wondering where I was. I took a deep breath and then answered, “hey babe” I said trying to stay calm. “Morning my love, where are you? I’m outside your door and it’s locked” he said.

My heart sunk. Why today?!  Where do I start?!  What do I say?!

“Babe!!! Remember, I told you I was staying at my friend Sope’s house.” I lied. “I didn’t know you were coming” I continued “but I’ll be there in a bit okay?”

“Okay my love” he said.

I hung up and held my head in my hand. “What the fuck have I done?” I cursed under my breath.

To be continued???? You all decide… Please leave me a comment below to let me know if you want to read more on this story

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