There are only very few things more electric that your team scoring a last minute winner against a local rival.
Or you opening up a tub of ice cream in an African home and it actually has ice cream in it. Only thing that tops that one really is being out all day coming home late and someone thought it fit to make you meal and have it waiting.
But first back to the football bit – it’s like seeing Arsenal top of the table for most of the season but knowing they won’t still make it.
Total football – is based on the key principle that no outfield player should have a fixed position.
Everyone can slot into any spot while the game is on.
It’s one of the best reasons I love sports and teamwork. Someone has eyes behind your head.
There is a dance people sometimes notice when they watch basketball, the open 3 in the corner is by design.
So the shock on the faces of the players is real when the ball swings around and arrives where the player should be and is not there.
The predictability in knowing your person is there builds trust.
Your manager loves when they don’t have to worry about you – Jade’s got it.
Now does that mean they won’t be annoying and make you do other people’s work? Nope. But at least you know they know, that you know what you’re doing.
When you start driving, one of the first things they teach you is that you have to check your blindspots before you switch lanes.
Sometimes there are cars tucked in there, cyclists, pedestrians.
The rise of the “driver-assist” in cars, that beeping sound you hear in some cars as you switch lanes – yeah, that’s to combat the issues around blindspots.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the concept of a blindspot lately.
I’m noticing more and more that as I get older, I need friends and love that feel like a driver assist.
Along with feeling seen, there is a reliability that the blindspot provides that makes you truly grateful having someone in your life.
I am noticing more and more that I want be with someone that covers my blindspots.
The first daughters get it, the sons carrying their whole families get it.
You are always thinking about someone else – working out all the permutations like Dr. Strange.
“If Sola goes to work all day and has been having a busy week, they probably won’t remember to eat – so let me make them a meal” or “with all the travel prep, Jessica won’t find time to pick up her altered dress, let me stop by and grab it”.
I’ve been to so many weddings – I could have stopped that statement there and some of you will have said “Sanmi go and marry” LOL – sharapppppp!
but back to it, I’ve been to enough weddings where the men while giving their speeches, talk about how amazing their wives are.
“You make me better” blah blah blah
Years into the marriage you hear him say “I love the way you take care of everyone, me, the kids, your family”
Many men are thankful for the women in their lives because she becomes the second set of eyes.
She sees his blindspots.
Often times, it’s rooted in misogyny because they simply want a woman to do everything for them and they not have to do anything but I don’t see myself that way.
I look forward to this dream life that people often talk about with how having a wife up levels you as a man. A part of me believes I’ll get that mostly in the intangibles because I love doing the things most men marry women to do for them – cook, clean, organize, plan e.t.c
Everyone wants someone who covers their blindspots. Someone that allows you to not need to be ON, all the time.
Women love it in a man and it probably makes him more attractive to her.
Men love it in a woman most times because it allows them to continue living in Lala land.
Everyone wants it for some reason.
If all your life, you have been responsible for others and yourself, I don’t blame you for wanting to be with someone that allows you to – be.
Are you the second set of eyes for your loved ones, your friends, your family?
Do you have people that help see the things you don’t always see? People that allow you to not always be on guard?
I pray we all find that in our lives and it grounds you.
I pray you find someone that allows you to see more areas of you — with clear vision and no blindspots.
Till we read again, stay up!
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