There are only very few things more electric that your team scoring a last minute winner against a local rival.
Or you opening up a tub of ice cream in an African home and it actually has ice cream in it. Only thing that tops that one really is being out all day coming home late and someone thought it fit to make you meal and have it waiting.
But first back to the football bit – it’s like seeing Arsenal top of the table for most of the season but knowing they won’t still make it.
Total football – is based on the key principle that no outfield player should have a fixed position. 
Everyone can slot into any spot while the game is on.
It’s one of the best reasons I love sports and teamwork. Someone has eyes behind your head.

There is a dance people sometimes notice when they watch basketball, the open 3 in the corner is by design.
So the shock on the faces of the players is real when the ball swings around and arrives where the player should be and is not there.
The predictability in knowing your person is there builds trust.

Your manager loves when they don’t have to worry about you – Jade’s got it.
Now does that mean they won’t be annoying and make you do other people’s work? Nope. But at least you know they know, that you know what you’re doing.

When you start driving, one of the first things they teach you is that you have to check your blindspots before you switch lanes.
Sometimes there are cars tucked in there, cyclists, pedestrians.
The rise of the “driver-assist” in cars, that beeping sound you hear in some cars as you switch lanes – yeah, that’s to combat the issues around blindspots.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the concept of a blindspot lately.
I’m noticing more and more that as I get older, I need friends and love that feel like a driver assist.
Along with feeling seen, there is a reliability that the blindspot provides that makes you truly grateful having someone in your life.
I am noticing more and more that I want be with someone that covers my blindspots.
The first daughters get it, the sons carrying their whole families get it.
You are always thinking about someone else – working out all the permutations like Dr. Strange.
“If Sola goes to work all day and has been having a busy week, they probably won’t remember to eat – so let me make them a meal” or “with all the travel prep, Jessica won’t find time to pick up her altered dress, let me stop by and grab it”.

I’ve been to so many weddings – I could have stopped that statement there and some of you will have said “Sanmi go and marry” LOL – sharapppppp!
but back to it, I’ve been to enough weddings where the men while giving their speeches, talk about how amazing their wives are.
“You make me better” blah blah blah
Years into the marriage you hear him say “I love the way you take care of everyone, me, the kids, your family”
Many men are thankful for the women in their lives because she becomes the second set of eyes.
She sees his blindspots.
Often times, it’s rooted in misogyny because they simply want a woman to do everything for them and they not have to do anything but I don’t see myself that way.
I look forward to this dream life that people often talk about with how having a wife up levels you as a man. A part of me believes I’ll get that mostly in the intangibles because I love doing the things most men marry women to do for them – cook, clean, organize, plan e.t.c

Everyone wants someone who covers their blindspots. Someone that allows you to not need to be ON, all the time.
Women love it in a man and it probably makes him more attractive to her.
Men love it in a woman most times because it allows them to continue living in Lala land.
Everyone wants it for some reason.
If all your life, you have been responsible for others and yourself, I don’t blame you for wanting to be with someone that allows you to – be.
Are you the second set of eyes for your loved ones, your friends, your family?
Do you have people that help see the things you don’t always see? People that allow you to not always be on guard?

I pray we all find that in our lives and it grounds you.
I pray you find someone that allows you to see more areas of you — with clear vision and no blindspots.

Till we read again, stay up!

Please comment, retweet, and share. Thank you for your continued support.
You are highly appreciated.

WordsOfWednesday

© 2023 #WhatTheHeckMan

I am really talented sha.
For many reasons but right now I am about to tell you from a place of not even desperation but clarity.
In the next few minutes, I am going to tell you about my entire week and my current mood – in the most creative way you’ve seen this week.
But before we get into it,

How are you?
I really mean that question. As you read this post, please consider answering the question in the comments section. As much as I wish they were on this blog, I also welcome your comments through Twitter, Instagram and my phone if you have my number. Shout out you Lade! 👀

The lines
Pre-checked
Wait, what did T.,S and Ay say?
30,000 feet
Like cloud tears from mile highI realize how much of the world stresses me out
Once I step out the pod
It’s gone
I can spend days searching for it
Happiness
Or maybe tears
It feels unfair
Time after time
But eventually it aligns
Leaning on the window side
Outside feels bright
And damn me for dreaming about you
For more than one hundred and twenty hours

——

I’m staring at myself in the mirror – my insides are raging.
I am on the cusp.
The exact line between laugh and cry.
I looked down, took a couple of deep breaths and sat down.
I am not sure how long I had been in there for and frankly, I didn’t care.
I was annoyed.
I looked down and my sweaty hands and took a couple more breaths and then went to work.
You simply cannot just breakdown crying miles in the sky or can you?
I wouldn’t ultimately fix the zipper of my bag in the bathroom of my 10hr flight.
Returning to my seat, I was quickly reminded of one of my frustrations this week.

As I took my seat, I began thinking of how much I dislike ⚪️ women.
Outside of the entitlement they move through the world with – they simply don’t care about anyone else but themselves.
The lady next to me was a complete nuisance and made the beginning of this flight unpleasant. The guy next to me is cool, I like him.
Same shade as her but we bonded quickly on the Premier League – he went to watch a Chelsea vs. Arsenal game.
He’s asleep now.

---

My songs of the week are –
Emmanuel – Gabriel Eziashi x Henrisoul
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTMyrT8_R30

EBENEZERI KENT X APEX CHOIR FEATURING EMMAOMG
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_Neq2nBJ8Q

Taiwoamen – Anulonsoro
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Md-tQsOsEG4

Ladipoe – Guy Man ft. Bella Shmurda
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZTnacyP5Uk

Teni – No Days Off
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0E1vkVDG3g
———————

Sorry I dozed off too.
It’s the greens. IYKYK.
I’ve been taking those greens more recently. I am not sure if it’s a good thing or not.
It’s tied to someone and a crazy December but I am not sure how to process it now.
Anyway, taking these greens make it easier for some people to relax on things like transatlantic weekend flights.
Call it 30+ but na true.
Speaking of 30+, I kinda don’t like those jokes.
I am not sure it’s even because I am 30+ sef.
This week, I have two thumb injuries, ready to pop hamstrings, a pulled pelvic muscle and possibly a broken right big toe.
As someone who has previously suffered from a long term injury.
Every new pain I feel in my body could be related to that trauma or something random. Living in that fear is hard.
Add the reality of the 30+ness and you are in scary territory.
It can genuinely mess with you.
So yeah, hearing those jokes when you are truly worrying whether the pain in your head is just a headache or life shattering aneurysm is no fun.

Music is fun.
That brings me to my iPod.
I haven’t been able to find it since Tuesday.
I have searched every possible place it could be and no luck. Losing this iPod which was a gift from my person, hurts.
I’ll get another one but will it be the same?
I also realized how hard I can be on myself. I have VERY high standards for myself but damn son!
Ahn ahi! Are you the first???

Sometimes letting myself down feels hard because I expect more of myself.
I usually wake up feeling flat. And this week, I woke up to a flat.
My second in a week.
You can imagine not finding my iPod one day and the next day, I am waking up to a flat.
I was livid.
Other things have happened this week but damn – I had been holding it to gather.
So when my zipper on my bag broke, I was livid.
The reason it broke?
A Karen.
I went to the bathroom and I was sure I was going to cry.

You know what that Karen didn’t recognize and would never know, that I feel anxious on some flights sometimes as a Black Man with full beard. Yeah, you can understand why.
But she just knocked my bag over and continued her day while I was sat in the bathroom close to tears.

What type of parent do you think you’ll be? The chill parent or the disciplinarian-ish one?
There is a family flying in the row next to ours – dad, mom, toddler daughter and baby son.
As the flight stabilizes, the mother wants the daughter to use the bathroom before continuing the show she’s watching on her standing iPad.
She shakes her head no.
Her mom signals to her Dad to make her behave – she says no loudly and smacks away daddy’s hand.
Immediately he points the mom on the far side of the row as if to say, your mom will get you.
The mom will eventually win and daddy would take her to the bathroom.
But the whole exchange got me thinking – what type of parent will you be – The chill parent or the disciplinarian-ish one?
Be honest and tell me in the comments.

Lastly, I wanted to ask – why are women not usually named Junior or after their dads?
At the barbershop this morning, it was the topic of discussion, so I figured I would ask you all.
Let me know your thoughts and answers to these other questions.

How are you?
What type of parent do you think you’ll be? The chill parent or the disciplinarian-ish one?

I am heading off on some coast to coast errands, I’ll come to you live from new postage stamps like a passport book. Till we read again. Stay up!

Please comment, retweet, and share. Thank you for your continued support.
You are highly appreciated.

WordsOfWednesday

© 2023 #WhatTheHeckMan

I went into this week thinking about what I wanted to share with you all, I kept wanting to write about so many different themes in my head but the one that kept jumping out to me was gratitude.
As a mini sidebar, I love when I hear an artist or creative talk about the energy or motivation behind their art or a piece of art.
I fell in love with this song recently, so much that the first night I heard it, I let it play on repeat all through the night. The overwhelming feelings in my heart lately has been – gratitude.

Yesterday, I felt really pressured with everything going on in my life.
I could feel myself drifting into a really crappy mood. The best way to describe it is that I had too many tabs open in my head. After therapy, I felt much better on certain things, like I had a better grasp on things and where I wanted to proceed.

It got me thinking though – why do we default to worrying so much?
I am not sure if everyone reading this is a person of faith but as someone who is, I find it fascinating that we serve a God that woks countless wonders – understands the timeline of every leaf on a tree. Knows the depths of the oceans, makes the clouds chorus in his glory – but we still worry.
My therapist helped me refocus on what I could control and indirectly reminded me that I am not that powerful.
I serve a God who is powerful, mighty, a really good God. Some would even call him a Miracle Papa.

With refocusing my lens on what was directly in front of me, I Was able to move into a place of gratitude.
I began to simply thank God for what he has done for me. From thanking God about my family, I moved to friends- some that I met through work, then you start thanking God for work and the things that affords you the ability to do.

Can thoughtfulness be taught?

I saw the tweet below last week and it got me thinking about thoughtfulness and whether or not it can be taught.
Personally, I think there is a lot we can teach others – friends, lovers and all but I truly believe that thoughtfulness is a truly innate gift.
It has to be in or within you.
I find that the beauty of it is the ability to not be able to help yourself. You find yourself thinking of creatives ways to show love and make the lives of those around you.
I love having a thoughtful nature and having friends in your life that can make you feel alive and well is a beautiful thing.
I remember talking to someone who said they wouldn’t think of their man first but their girlfriend first, while beautiful (women’s relationships), I can only imagine a type of love that thinks of you almost before you.
I think we were talking about buying her girlfriend’s favorite chocolate but would not immediately think of buying something they know their man would love.
It makes me think that we can actually channel our love and expression of it but I don’t think you can teach being thoughtful for someone.

I see thoughtfulness like someone selflessly assuming the role of trying to make your life easier.
For me it’s directly connected to acts of service – and being able to anticipate the needs of people you love.
Don’t get me wrong, I think you can teach and cultivate expressions of love and care but thoughtfulness for me exceeds that.
Do you think that thoughtfulness can be taught?



Affirmation of the Day: No one can make me feel inferior.
Question of the Day: Do I feel comfortable expressing myself? How do I feel about getting quiet, listenings deeply and patiently to my inner wisdom?

• Not them going all deep on today’s affirmation. But yes, for the most part, I feel like I can express myself – especially in environments/spaces/relationships where I feel safe, valued and respected.
• I also find that I spend a lot of time sitting quietly with my thoughts and exploring before executing.

Praise Gym
Apple Music: https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/praise-gym/pl.u-4JomX7BtMMmXYg
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0nHrVRq8lhsY9imXjYL6Ns?si=18b0171f0d2046e2

Tẹriba
Apple Music: https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/t%E1%BA%B9riba/pl.u-55D6XW5FYYVXoq
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/51Gcda828lTthxNqcTWyd4?si=4ccabfc5911e4afa

Please comment, retweet, and share. Thank you for your continued support.
You are highly appreciated.

WordsOfWednesday

© 2023 #WhatTheHeckMan