Burna’s Rock Your Body playing….
I am sitting next to an empty boat on the water in the middle of the Red Light District.
Let’s just start by saying I hate the use of the word “Prostitutes”. Sex workers is a much classier title.
It’s late. Four minutes to eleven.
There is an outdoor male toilet about 10feet to my left.
I wandered here.
On both sides of the water, there are probably about 400 people just doing people stuff.
We are all here for similar or different reasons, after all.
I’m in a mood.
You might know it.
Somewhere in between a huge meltdown and riding a wave of optimism.
I am on probably my most elaborate and exciting vacation in my life.
Taking in culture and experiences but something feels missing.
Everyone seems to think I should have the world at my feet. Recent MBA graduate, “talented writer”, host of growing show, handsome man who should be happy in love but I can’t seem to meet this guy they speak of.
Graduating recently came with a well-deserved lap of honor before my family and friends but reality soon set in.
I don’t know what to do next.
I am annoyed, tired and just mostly mehhhhh.
Being on the cusp of what next has me shook.
Because I am now asking “what next?”
I know what I want to happen next career wise- an opportunity that allows me to be of service while paying me what I am now worth with the debt AND let’s not forget education that I have now acquired.
I also want to start pushing this creativity thing.
I have started working on my book and I really want to take script writing classes. I want to bring life to some of the work I have done but also tell stories of real people.
Check out my current series Against Counsel here.
Kiss Daniel’s Sofa is blasting in my ears as I wonder why I love it so much.
Today, I visited the Anne Frank house in Amsterdam. I was moved to say the least.
Sometimes I wish I didn’t “feel” as much as I do.
But her story is unique and much like mine, it was living on the fear that it may never be told.
Anne and her Jewish family hid in an Annexe in Amsterdam from the Germans that invaded the Netherlands during World War II. She and her siblings never left that house for two years.
She wrote extensively in her diary which would later become one of the most read books around the world.
The thing about Anne that I resonated with was that she found courage even without understanding how it would turn out.
She kept writing.
I have so much so why do I keep holding out on myself.
I am sitting by the water because I could feel a horrible mood coming on.
I just walked out of my hotel and left a sleeping Itafe to come here.
Because I needed something, something I couldn’t give myself.
But the moment I opened the note app and started writing this, I felt a bit better.
I have no formal writing training and I think I am a horrible writer – I am definitely my own worst critic.
So why am I not seeing me?
The boat I was sitting next to and hoping to get on to take pictures is now drifting away. It must be the wind. Smh
Have you felt like you knew what step to take but you couldn’t?
Or you wanted to do more but you are unsure how?
Or everyone wants more of you but you have not the first clue how to start?
Join me and take a deep breath.
Let’s figure it out together, one line at a time.
Write out your next goal.
And what you need to do to get to it.
Listen, you can do it.
Will it be easy? Hell the fuck no.
But you can do it.
As I get up to leave, one of the sex workers inside one of the Red windows, opens her door and says “hey cutie”.
I only heard her because I just turned of Bruno Mars singing “Chunky” in my ear.
I stopped and she said in what sounded like a Romanian accent
“Why you no smile baby?”
I smiled instantly and she said
“Enjoy your night”
I laugh as she does.
I turn around and notice that the boat I was sitting next to has now drifted right back to being right next to me.
I’m laughing as I write these final lines.
It’s an empty boat on sight but finessed right, it has all the necessary elements for a journey.
You ready? 😊
Please leave me a comment below. Thanks!
It’s #WordsOfWednesday by The Wordsmith @adewus4real
Part 2 of my current series “Against Counsel” will be out on 7.22.17
Thank you for reading and commenting. You are highly appreciated.
© 2017 #WhatTheHeckMan