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Imperfect 2

Imperfect 2

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 Follow @adewus4real the writer on Twitter #WhatTheHeckMan


Broken by Lifehouse

The door slowly opened up.

I believe I must have said What The Heck Man in my head like twenty times before the person emerged.

I was regretting this. I was regretting having him come over. I was just scared to my bones.

The door opened completely and she poked her head in.

It was Comfort.

Comfort was a family friend’s daughter that was living with us at the time. She was going to school and working for my father at his fish farm.

I was a bit relieved it was her. She was a girl like me and she would understand. She was 19 at the time but she was obviously 11 once.

“What’s going on here?”

she said with a smile on her face while we both rushed to try and cover up. The buttons on my blouse were loosened. He had been fondling my newly acquired breasts that had just come in that summer.

“Nothing. We were just…”

I stuttered to respond.

“Save it…”

She snapped back.

“Your mom wants you in her room.”

My mom was home?! I didn’t even know!

“Thank you, Aunty Comfort!”

I dashed out of there, knowing that she had done me a solid favour. David and I would eventually have sex a few weeks later. He was just great with words like that and watching Emmanuelle in Space that night while his parents and mine happened to be out of town didn’t help my resistance. I can’t really explain how my first time was but it was sort of a bland experience. He like many guys after him began to act weird after the first time and we never had sex again. I don’t regret it because it was eye opening in many ways but what I regret was how that incident in my house played out.

There was a 13-year age difference between my older brother and I. My mother had always frowned against boys because she herself got pregnant at the very young age of 15. In many ways, she feels like the man who got her pregnant, though 17 and also a minor at the time knew better but still took advantage of her.

Dealing with the stigma of having my brother and going back to school to get a degree was a huge struggle for her and she never wanted any of us to experience that. I understood it but in many ways, it felt to me like my social life was being punished for her mistakes. She wouldn’t let me go to parties. Sleepovers were off the table and like I previously stated boys were not allowed over. I was able to bend that last rule a bit when it came to friends of the family.
Comfort so far had kept my secret safe. It might seem like an exaggeration but the only male my mother seemed to bring herself to like was her son, my older brother. I strongly believed growing up that my mother hated every single guy on Earth and her father was dead at the time of her pregnancy, so I guess he was exempted.
This particular evening, my parents had gone to visit my aunt out of town. It was just Comfort in the house with me. I had stayed up way past my bedtime. It was a Friday night and my parents weren’t home. Hell yes, I was going to run the house.

It was a little past midnight and I had fallen asleep on the couch watching television. I felt someone waking me up. I must have eaten too much or something but I was in deep sleep. I felt me getting smacked all over to wake up but I didn’t and then I was helped to my room. I remember my body touching the bed.
Slowly, I felt someone’s hands all over my body; running on my skin. It was fine because it wasn’t in the intrusive areas until I felt the hand go up my skirt. I began to move uncomfortably in the bed. The person was very patient because whenever I moved, they would stop and wait for me to fall asleep again. I felt their fingers move my panties aside and one finger went inside me. I jumped up!

“Aunty Comfort, what are you doing?

I asked confused, shocked and surprised. She responded

“Don’t act like you don’t know what this is. Just relax. I won’t tell anyone and if you tell anyone, I will tell your mom about that boy”

I was young but I knew what blackmail felt like. I was scared of what my mother would do to me knowing I had sex with David. I lay back down in the bed and I felt her hand come up inside me while her mouth was all over my privates. I lay there and felt a little bit more of my honesty drift out of me. I couldn’t believe it.
The next few days were hard. I couldn’t look at myself the same way.
I believe I avoided a mirror at all costs during that period. I wasn’t a virgin but it just felt different to be violated. It felt like something was stolen from you. Like you worked for something, even if it wasn’t your hardest effort, and then someone comes and takes it away.

Aunty Comfort was super nice to me over the next few days. Trying to show me how to put makeup on and letting me get extra food when I was hungry. It was all a bribe but all it taught me was how to understand deception and be more deceptive myself.
I played dumb for the most part; acting like whatever had happened didn’t faze me or reflect in my behavior. The only difference was that I couldn’t look at myself and I stayed in my room.
In a way, I felt like a veil was lifted off my eyes. I watched Comfort smile in the eyes of my parents and pretend that she had not done despicable things to me. I felt a little bit more of darkness surround the positive light I saw life in. People are just evil.

You hear stories daily of children that got violated and kept it a secret from their parents because they didn’t want to deal with it or they didn’t know how to, I was the opposite.
About a week had passed since the incident and I could not contain it inside me anymore.
It was a Saturday afternoon and Comfort was at the mall with her friends. Both my parents were sitting in the living room. My dad was reading a newspaper and my mother was working on work stuff like she always did at home. I walked into the living room and asked my mother to come to my room that I wanted to show her something.

The way I asked was awkward. My dad looked up at me briefly and then back to his papers like I was a fly that buzzed by his ear. My mother followed me to my room.

Closing the door behind her, she pulled up the chair in the corner next to my dresser and sat down. I sat on my bed with my head down.

“Is your period heavy again?”

she asked. I looked up at her and then bowed my head again. I shook my head in disapproval.

“Okay, so what is it dear?”

She asked looking around my room at the state of it’s cleanliness.

I wanted to talk but I found it hard to put the words together. I was scared. I just wasn’t sure how it would all play out.

Slowly, I noticed my mom’s face start to become covered in concern. I wanted to bail then. I should have just lied. I shouldn’t have told her the truth. I shouldn’t have. I shouldn’t have trusted her.

“Did a boy touch you?”

Interesting how that was her first question, I shook my head. I still couldn’t say it out loud.

“ Efia, did someone touch you?”

I nodded slowly. Tears were beginning to fill my eyes. I didn’t feel safe talking to my mother about this. I wanted to run but I was glued in place.

My mother sat up straight. Something about her stance wasn’t comforting. Thinking about it now, it must have felt like she was being traumatized all over again. But it was still her duty to protect me, especially from whatever hurt she might have faced before.

“Who was it? Did they beat you? 

The last question coming out as she pointed towards my body. I shook again.

Now I could tell she was angry and ready to kill. Her eyes were bigger. Her voice was louder. I could feel her breath on my thighs below my shorts and her anger choked the room.


she asked with her voice raised and leaning in towards me. I backed up and seemed to cower and then I answered

“Aunty Comfort”

Boom. I dropped it. Right there. I felt scared at the time but mostly glad I had said it but I started to cry.

Tears streaming down my eyes, I looked up at my mother and she looked defeated. She looked like the stuffing was knocked out of her but somewhat relieved. Why? I wasn’t sure. I sensed it might have been because a boy did not violate me. She knew what I was saying. She knew what had been done to me.
I was now crying full tears and my mother was sitting down across from me with her head down. She was not comforting me in anyway and I didn’t know how it was all supposed to work so I just sat there and cried.
It wasn’t up to two minutes later when the door opened. It was my dad. He saw me crying and immediately came over to me and sat next to me.

He had a look of surprise on his face while directed his question at my mom.

“What is going on sweetie? Efia, why are you crying?”

He had his arm around me pulling me close and cuddling me. I felt safe as I sobbed. I didn’t answer his question. I looked up at my mother to answer. I wanted her to explain it but in that moment, she broke my heart forever.

“Nothing honey, she’s just having a really painful flow”

my mom lied to my dad.

“Aww, sorry my baby. It will be alright okay. Maybe you should get dressed and we can go and get some pizza?”

he responded trying to make me feel better. I didn’t move but I looked up at my mother. Our eyes met. My heart shattered.

She was embarrassed by my hurt and she covered it up.

I remember returning from a friend’s house after church the next day to Comfort’s empty room. She was gone. I would find out many years later that my mother never told Comfort’s mother. It was just swept under the rug.
My mother and Comfort’s mother were still friends when I last checked because she never knew about it and my father never did either.
I was even more confused as to why my mother did not fight for me. Why didn’t she do more?We never talked about that day or the incident again but you bet your life, it left its mark on me.

.    .    .     .     .     .

Ride Out ft. Iyanya by Angel

“Damien, I don’t fucking care!!!! I’m over this shit. It’s always one thing or the other with you. I agree I’m not open enough and I keep things close to my chest but that’s me! That’s how I’ve always been. Deal with it!”

I could see confusion in his eyes. I was overreacting and I had been yelling at him for almost 10 minutes inside my car while parked in front of his apartment. He had followed me from inside where the argument had started.
I had been having a bad day when I got to his house. My mother had told me that she was coming from her base in London to spend 2 weeks in the US and she wanted to stay at my house for a few days to spend quality time. Now I love my mother don’t get me wrong, but I could not stand the idea of being in a space with her. That was the first thing to annoy me that day.
Damien and I were having a conversation about taking our situation to the next level. We had been exclusive for about two months and I wanted more but Damien was hesitant because of my irrationality and my go-to reaction of always leaving whenever I was upset.

“I don’t know if a relationship is the best thing right now Efia. You’re supposed to be going back to the States in 3 days. We are on two separate ends of the world. It will be too hard”

He explained to me and it made sense but I responded with,

“I get that but I can go to the US and work on getting transferred back to our office out here. We just have to be on the same page”

“That still doesn’t address your sometimes erratic behavior though, your sometimes hot and cold demeanor. It’s hard to give you all of me if you can easily throw it all away”

he chimed back and I lost it. I yelled back,

“You don’t love me. You never have. It has always been about the sex and the time for you. Now I want more and you have excuses! Fuck this, I’m out!”

I ran out to my car and he followed me. He got into the car and kept trying to explain himself. He told me he loved me and saw a future with me but the uncertainties made him uncomfortable and he wanted us to carefully make a decision. All smart points but I wasn’t having it. Today was not my day. I kept yelling at him and then he made the biggest mistake ever.

While I was yelling and motioning in the car, he asked me to calm down and then he placed his hands on me.

“Calm down Efia, you look crazy right now and you know I live here”

he said.

All I heard was “Calm down and you look crazy”. Two phrases no woman wants to hear when she’s heated.

I just went into overdrive. I hopped out of the car and slammed the door shut. I headed for his apartment complex that was gated. I pulled up my dress from my ankles and began to climb the gate. I briefly turned and noticed Damien in the passenger seat of my car, his face had one look on it; STUNNED.
I hopped down on the other side and headed into his apartment. I went straight to his room and picked up my bags. I had 3 of them and I was only staying for a night, I was horrible at packing. I was struggling to carry all the bags out of the room when Damien barged into the room.

I had never seen him that angry before but it was different. It was channelled and controlled.

He snatched the bags out of my hands and threw them to the floor. In one move, he swept me and pinned me to the wall. He kissed me hard. His lips and the heat from his nostrils burned my neck as he kissed his way down. In certain places he bit, hard enough to not give me a hickey but I felt the pain. I was beginning to get wet. He was reacting and in a weird way, it validated that he cared. Some of you ladies know what I mean.

I was getting wetter down there and I knew he was going to make his way there soon. He had his right hand around my neck, slightly choking me. He bit gently on my nipples as he sucked on them. I wanted him inside of me
He lifted me up and slammed me onto the bed. He placed his hands on my knees then he slid them upwards, lifting my dress and then downward with my panties in his hands.
He could see my wetness now and he licked his lips. He still made no eye contact with me. He pushed my legs up and back as far as they could go and he stuck his tongue inside my pink. He was rough today with just the right amount of aggression. My body was shaking now.
He continued to patrol my pink while his face became soaked in all my wetness. I could feel more and more drops seep out of me as he went for more. I was nearing cumming hard on his face when I snapped my hips together and I might have hurt his head but he backed up for a minute while I got up and ran for the bathroom. I didn’t want him to make me cum yet. I was turned on, scared of his anger and already shaking.

He got up and growled while following me into the bathroom, he turned me around as he closed the seat to the toilet bowl.

“Kneel on top of it”

he said in the most commanding tone he had. I obeyed and knelt down.

He spread my cheeks and slowly slid his throbbing member inside me. I don’t know if it was because it was the angry sex but it was hard and felt bigger than usual. He didn’t begin slow or go gently like he normally would. He went for the jugular. He squeezed my cheeks apart as he slid in and out. He grabbed my waist and began pounding; each thrust going deeper than the last one. I could feel it in my gut but I couldn’t feel my legs. He moved his left hand and grabbed a handful of my braids. He began to pull as he fucked me. My breasts settling on the cold of the toilet, he continued to ram into me. I was moaning loudly.

“What’s my name? Who’s pussy is this?”

Were the questions he asked as he worked his throbbing dick into me.

“Say my fucking name!”

“Damie…. Dam…. Damien…”

I moaned out with my head kicked back due to his hold. It was only a matter of time before he exploded. He let go of my hair and grabbed my waist tighter and had 5 really hard thrusts before pulling out and spraying all his seed on my left ass check.
We both ended up in bed next to each other, no words said. Before I knew it, it was morning. Damien was gone and I had to leave too. I didn’t hear from Damien again that weekend.

It was now Monday morning and I was scheduled to fly back to the US that morning, I had called Damien again that morning but there no answer. I was sad. I think I might have blown it. I had stopped by his house the day before and he was not there. He was gone and I was about to fly to the other side of the world without saying goodbye to the man I had fallen in love with.

The cab driver helped me put all my bags in the car and I left my keys in the mailbox for the landlord, I was headed home; my real home.
On the car ride to the airport, I kept asking myself about how I lost it all. I knew I needed to work on my anger, short fuse, and erratic behaviour. I needed to be a better woman for me and for the future I wanted to have.
I arrived at the airport and checked in. I was doing everything slowly to give Damien enough time to show up. Nothing.
I could hear them now calling my name as the boarding for my flight was almost done. Sadness covered me. I truly loved that man and he wasn’t there to see me off. It brought tears to my eyes.

I kept on hoping that he would show up like in the movies and I got nothing. I’d fucked up.
I knew I was imperfect, I knew I needed work and I knew he had been patient and understanding. It was a blessing to have him, at least before I lost him. I placed my headphones in my ears trying to navigate my emotions.

I was drifting into my thoughts and thinking about sleeping in my bed in Detroit, pizza and watching Basketball when I felt a hand on my shoulder. My heart skipped a beat. I slowly opened my eyes….

I slowly realized that if I don’t comment at the bottom of this post, @adewus4real will find me and not give me plantain. And na only me go waka come but it will be a deadly day. Make we no die on the line abeg! COMMENT!!!!

The End

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Thank you for reading and commenting. You are highly appreciated. 

Lookout for Part 3 of Imperfect next Saturday

© 2014 #WhatTheHeckMan

Erotica · Fiction · Uncategorized




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Where You Are by Hulguz Kudlar


The clock ticked away.

The sun made the effort to stay around as we all slowly ignored the presence of nightfall as the day pulled to a tired close.

The wide-open window pulled in the after rays of the sun as my room faced the departing light. It was reminiscent of my life at the moment. I was lying on my back while staring at the ceiling. The passing sounds of kids making their way home before nightfall, battled for short attention in my ears while competing with the sound of the creaky ceiling fan that rolled in circular motions. It was blowing hot air and didn’t seem properly hinged into the ceiling. It looked like it could fall apart at any moment. Dangerously being effective. Now that… That was my life at that moment. Period.

I turned over and looked at the man lying next to me. I couldn’t remember his name, Damur, Dapur or something like that. He was snoring face down on the bed, passed out after a vigorous workout; at least for him.  I looked off into the corner of the room, to the side table and noticed my three cell phones charging at the same time. One had a full red light that signified a full charge and the other two slowly playing catch up. The batteries in all the phones were fucked. I was just too lazy to get one new phone, so I rotated the batteries between each one like a fraudulent dealer using a burner phone.

Sweat was dripping down my chest and through my breasts as my breathing slowed down. My mind was alert and I could feel my heart beat from between my legs.

It was nothing of his doing but all mine. The initial round of sex with him was average at best. I hadn’t gotten better many times before. I couldn’t understand why he was so average.

Maybe it was the food we had at lunch but I have to say that I expected more from him whether he lived up to that or not. My flat mate rumored it at the time that men out there had healthy packages. The first one I had come in contact with there was up to the billing but this one, well this one was better at snoring than at fucking me.

It had been a little over 2 weeks since I arrived in Sydney. The company I worked for had paid for my graduate school program and I had been with them for over two years. They chose me along with some other young employees to go and study our global markets. We got Australia.

I absolutely loved everything about Sydney, the people, the weather, the sights, the men. Everything!

There was something about the way the men spoke to their women, their accents modelling that of the British but the level of respect they seemed to have for their women was a breath of fresh air. So much better than what I was used to in certain places down in Detroit.

It was now 8:02pm.

Still sunny but a cool breeze was starting to drift into the room to support the ever failing ceiling fan that still worked tirelessly but dangerously to keep me cool.

I wondered why I was even in this bed and not mine all the way in Sydney and in a fully furnished apartment. I was just tired and sweaty. I had just met this man yesterday and we had driven down to Wollongong from Sydney, about 42 miles. He was a cool guy and he seemed well put together. He made me laugh and that was a huge selling point for any guy but then again, I just met him yesterday. We had spent the day together at his place here, which was barely hanging together.

It was not my nature to mess with guys I just met the night before but I don’t know why I had been living much closer to the edge lately.

This trip down under was so helpful in helping me refocus because I was so close to the brink during my last incident while I was visiting Washington, DC a few weeks prior to leaving the states. Let’s just say that night involved heavy drinking, unsafe sex, drugs and luckily only a parking ticket. It could have been much worse that night.

I was still in my head when Damur, I confirmed his name, touched me on my right breast. I was still sweating and had barely moved while he had taken an apparent nap.

“Hey, how did you sleep?”

I asked trying to be polite.

“It was a good power nap”

He responded with a smile on his face.

“Why are you smiling like that?”

I asked now with a smile covering my face,

“Because I want to do things again”

he said.

“I have to go though. I’m sorry”

was my response. His face changed and he looked kind of sad and he said,

“Don’t go. We still have tonight and Sunday before you can go back to work”

“It’s not because of work, Damur. I have other plans”

He seemed to understand and didn’t respond, he just started sucking on my right breast. Running his fingers all over my chest, he covered them in my sweat. He began to kiss me all over my neck and I was starting to get turned on. That’s how these men get us. Fuck!

My nipples began to harden in between his fingers. He was running his hands all over my body and I loved it. The room was hotter again and I was starting to sweat more.

Damur was Australian but from Malaysian parents, he was a bit darker than most. He was very well primed and clean cut with an amazing body. His package was great too but he just didn’t know how to use it. If only I had more time to blow his mind and teach him things.

He got on top on top of me and wanted to head back down south. Trust me, I’m not one to turn down the free opportunity to receive brain from a good looking and willing man but I wanted to show him something he hadn’t gotten before.

I closed my legs as he got closer and he got this confused look on his face and I motioned to him asking him to get on his back.  He smiled and did.

I got on top of him and slowly began kissing him along his neck and behind his ears. He was extremely sensitive and ticklish. He began to squirm. I loved it!

I worked my way down kissing his chiseled abs as I arrived at the rock. I softly kissed around it and then took it into my mouth. It was warm and hard. My tongue began to get acquainted. Caressing every inch and over every vein, I could feel him pulse inside my mouth. My spit slurped down his shaft as I worked my mouth to keep it “clean”. He was moaning and clutching the sheets when I squeezed my lips tighter and began to suck on the tip of his pulsing head. I placed my right hand on his ball sack and rolled them in my hands like they were dii. He was now nearing it. Fighting back the moans; he didn’t want to sound like anything less of a “man” but there was something more attractive to me about a man that could moan while I pleasured him.

I could hear myself slurping up and down his shaft; I moved my mouth and took his balls into my mouth. It sent him to the very edge. He wanted to lose it. I was having the time of my life. A few minutes later, I moved back to his shaft and began to work my head and my lips up and down. Sweat was dripping down my face. My makeup was obviously shit at that point but my only reward came as he came and exploded his warm nut into the back walls of my mouth. He panted as I sucked the very last drops out of it, his dick still throbbed and remained fairly hard.  I looked up at him with a thankful grin while I climbed on top of him.

With my hand behind my back, I stroked his member into full erection and slowly slid it into me. I could feel it consume the space inside me. It was hard. I gently twisted my waist on his shaft as my juices began to soak him up. I was going to enjoy this for sure.

I placed my hands on his chest and arched my back ready to twerk my ass on his throbbing dick. I turned to the right and looked out the window, it was now dark with the room, which was on the second floor, being lit by the streetlights. I was going to leave an impression on this man. I pulled back and leaned backwards. I realized I still had plans and a 45-minute drive home. Shit!

I had to get to work. I leaned backwards as I bounced up and down his dick while he held onto my waist. I could hear myself panting as my sagging breasts slapped my wet chest. I knocked my head back and looked up to the ceiling. I zoned my voice out and his out, now all I could hear was the fan again.

And then I heard another loud moan from him, I looked down and read his face. I asked him,

“Did you cum already?”

With a shy look on his face, he answered,

“Yes, your pussy is so good”

Hiding disappointment, I smiled as I got off him. I gave him a kiss while he lay somewhat lifeless again on the bed. I began to put my clothes on. I looked out the window and noticed another couple in the apartment complex across from us having sex. He was pulling her hair and slapping her ass while she moaned loudly and begged. I could almost make out the pleas as he drove his rod inside her.

“Only a matter of time”

I thought to myself. I got up, dressed and said bye to Damur, promising to call him. I closed the door behind me and thought to myself as I walked down the stairs. What The Heck Man!

It was all good though, I felt the night would get better. Damien was waiting for me and he had a package that needed to deliver.

.    .     .     .     .

Nina by Ed Sheeran

I had just gotten out of school when I knew I wanted to go big in terms of how I pictured my future and my career. At the time I was working as a HR assistant making $11/hr working 50hrs a week but essentially inky getting paid for 35 of them. The only thing was that I was comfortable where I was. They liked me there and I liked the company, so I had really no qualms being there.

One of my classmates back then felt I was underachieving and so he sent my resume in to my current company. They liked me and gave me a call. The chase to get me took another 6 months before I finally decided to quit my job at the time and jump ship to a higher pay and more stability.
The ride was amazing. And so far the opportunities my current job has given me have been unique and eye opening.
I immediately jumped at the chance to come to Australia and learn new things and that was when I met Damien. He was a really good guy that seemed to always want to make me laugh. It was much needed on those difficult days.
Man like today, I looked down at my phone and speak of the angel, it was Damien.

“Where you at sweetie?”

He always called me sweetie for some reason. He said it was because I tasted like sugar.

Sigh. The thing that man’s tongue could do to a woman’s body.

I smiled and took a deep breath in before responding,

“Just about to leave the hospital”

Surprised, he responded,

“Oh really?”

“Yea, I’ve been here since about 3pm and it’s now 9:30pm.”

I gently replied.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay? Is everything okay?”

I could now hear the concern in his voice.

“I’m fine now. It’s the Acute Chest Syndrome thing again. I woke up this morning with a lot of pain and my hands and feet were really cold. So when it didn’t go away by the afternoon time, I came out to the hospital and I’ve been here since.

Can you come and get me? I didn’t drive here.”

The conversation wrapped up as he got off the phone and he headed down to get me. I hated this situation, I hated being Anaemic, it was always one issue or the other since I was a kid.  Scary nights when I thought I was going to die but somehow I’ve made it this far. The episodes varied and came without warning, sometimes mild and often severe. I was just glad I had people that cared about me around to take care of me.

Damien pulled up and I hopped into the car. He knew I didn’t want to talk about it. I was weak and I just didn’t want to delve into my life at that moment. I looked and felt vulnerable, I just wanted him to drive me home. I wanted to curl up under my sheets and catch up on a show or two before knocking out. With how I felt, I wasn’t going to work the next day… I just wanted to rest.

I noticed about 10 minutes into the drive that Damien wasn’t taking me towards my apartment which he knew very well. I began to wonder what was going on and then he pulled up in front of the movie theatre. He turned over to me and said,

“I’m going to cheer you up. There’s a great comedy out right now and you’ll get a good laugh from it while forgetting everything else.”

He was actually right. I loved my comedies and this was a great time to catch one. He helped me out of the car and asked to quickly use the ATM machine. For some reason, it wasn’t accepting one of the bills he wanted to deposit in there. While he was doing that, a bunch of young Asian boys, clearly high or drunk walked in front of us. I clutched my purse tighter and moved a bit closer to Damien who I had given space to for privacy while using the machine. I wasn’t sure why I did that; it just seemed to speak to my vulnerability.

The movie was a blast. It was funny and it made my ribs hurt but in a good way. I walked out of the theatre feeling a bit energized and definitely in a good mood but that wouldn’t last long. I asked Damien to please take me to the store because I wanted some ice cream.  I was on a diet at the time, one of my many but I was just craving some ice cream.

We headed back to my place when we left the store and I balanced on the couch and dug into my tub of ice cream. It was a small tub to be fair but it was some good shit. I was enjoying my ice cream when my phone began to buzz. I placed my tub next to the huge bottle of Grey Goose that Damien was drinking from and looked at my phone.

Ugh! It was my mother.

I had texted her more than 6hours prior and she was just getting back to me. That highlighted our relationship. Most daughters are best friends with their mothers or at least close on some level but us two, we just co-existed in each other’s lives and blamed each other for many things.  She barely asked how I was doing and then she heard Damien’s voice.

“Who is there with you?”

she asked being her usual nosy self.

“My friend”

I responded and she continued,

“What kind of friend? I hope you’re looking and praying for a husband o. Because you’re not getting any younger and you need to bring someone home. It will be nice if you find a man so he can be there for you on days like this one”

“Yes mother”

I said to subtly highlight my irritation but also shut her up.
And the call soon ended and with it, my good mood disappeared too.


THERE IS A PROJECT TO GET “WhatTheHeckMan” to the next level 🙂 but your help is NEEDED. Your comments (Good/bad or in pidgin English) is SUPER IMPORTANT. PLEASE leave me a response to the story and the surprise below. Thank you sooooo much!!! 

Growing up, I was a tom boy. I played with the boys and my older brother’s friends. Girly stuff and even the colour pink made me uncomfortable. I think back then, I was just very active and my personality meshed with that of the boys better.

For a long time, my mother was a stay at home mom. She watched our every move and kept on top of things with us.
My mother was the type to forget that you were her child and not a project. She was beyond guarded with us and our future was her only priority. She was the typical parent that wanted you to be the best at everything education related. Personally, it seemed like she wanted me to be as successful as possible in life, so I could forget all the horrible things that were ever done to me the summer before my 12th birthday.


One afternoon, I must have been about 11. My mother had now begun to work as assistant to the school superintendent for the district. It meant long hours and tired evenings for her. Our relationship had truly began to wane.  That afternoon, I was in my room with my friend David. We were playing house, I was the mom and he was the dad when the conversation turned to kissing. And how that should be done. In hindsight I should have realized that the then 13yr old David, was just trying to explore his sexuality and he liked me.

Somehow he coerced me into kissing him. I won’t sit here and say I didn’t play a part in it too. I liked him. Matter of fact, I really liked him. He played the flute, the drums, he could sing and he was good at math. I was terrible at math and he always helped me out in school.

Our lips were locked. The kissing was horrible. His tongue was doing embarrassing things and I didn’t know what it should feel like, so I went with the flow and then it happened. The door opened…

Part two next week… COMMENT BELOW!!!!!! 

Bonus for all your AWESOMENESS and for COMMENTING!!! 

The End

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Thank you for reading and commenting You are highly appreciated. 

Lookout for Part 2 of Imperfect next Saturday

© 2014 #WhatTheHeckMan

Erotica · Fiction · Uncategorized

Trapped 4

Trapped 4


Follow @adewus4real

Follow the writer on Twitter @adewus4real #WhatTheHeckMan



Even My Dad Does Sometimes by Ed Sheeran       

Nia left and Jae packed her things and left a few hours later. I sat on the couch as she packed up and walked out. She did not say a single word to me and I was sure I wouldn’t be able to handle her saying another word to me. It would have broken whatever was left of my heart.

 I was replaying what had just happened in my head and how it came about. Apparently, Jae had picked up on the exchange at the hospital. Suspecting that Nia had maybe told me something in private about a condition, she tried to find out herself by requesting a home visit and then manipulating an already fragile Nia into telling her everything that happened between us.

Nia held nothing back and once she started talking, it was all out there.

It crumbled my home. To dust. 

The days began to add up and my home was just as empty as my heart. Jae did not pick up any of my calls and a now married Nia did not want me contacting her. I was stuck but I knew I had to do something. And I had to do it soon.

It took a lot of self building up to realize that I had to start with Nia. From what I gathered, Jae was completely off the grid.

 I summoned courage one evening and headed for Nia’s home. It was beautiful. It had a picket fence in a cul de sac which she loved and always dreamt about raising her kids there. I parked on the street and walked up to the front door. I knocked and a little dog began to bark.  About a minute later, someone opened the door. There were toddler soccer shoes to the right side of the door and Nia stood in the doorway.

“What are you doing here? What do you want?”

She asked.

 “I just wanted to talk to you and ask for your forgiveness for everything that happened to you back then. I am sorry.” 

I responded.

“Sorry? Sorry? You want to stand here and say you’re sorry. Not only did you let your friends rape me, I got pregnant from that horrible encounter. I would eventually have two boys and if you’re still the man that would do that to a woman, I pray that my boys never end up anything like you. You are a disgrace to men. I lay there and you watched me get violated and you did nothing. I cried and pleaded with you to help me. I needed you and you were too concerned with vanities. You broke me that night and I don’t think I ever healed since that night. I went to your father to tell him about it and he blew me off. Me? I was the victim here and I was expected to be shoved away?” 

The words flied out her mouth and hit me like flames, I was starting to sweat and I felt my knees and ankles begin to give way. I just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me.

I wanted to explain myself but I didn’t have the words. They just wouldn’t come out. I stood there in shock and flooded with regret. I remembered that night, I hated that night. I was a coward back then, eager to be accepted and feel among. Fitting in with the guys was all I thought of, I needed an identity and I went about it the worst way because I hurt the woman I loved.

“Your father manipulated my poor parents into accepting money and we did leave town but I had unfinished business here, so I returned. The money was good but having you was priceless. I ended up losing that pregnancy and I spiraled into depression. One evening whilst mourning, I cursed your existence that you would not see the joys of having a child of your own. I never knew it would come true. I feel for your wife but I don’t know what you expect me to do” 

Before I could respond, Jae’s husband came out of the house and stood behind her in a protective stance. It all seemed to get awkward. I was angry. My father never told me that she was pregnant and I thought she just disappeared. Why wasn’t he honest with me? 

“Everything okay, here?”

He asked as he scanned me up and down.

“Everything is fine, baby. This is NU.”

She replied with NU standing for the name of our university; Northwestern University. I acknowledged his presence and began to speak

“Nia, I am sorry. I was young and naïve. I made many mistakes and I am sorry. I hurt you bad and I wish I could fix it all but we both have families now. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. Also remember that this is also affecting someone who had no hand in this being my wife. Please forgive me.”

Nia broke down and began to sob. I apologized for my presence as her husband led her back into the home. There was so much hurt in her and I think finally listening to me apologize lifted a huge burden off her shoulders and she could finally move on from it.

I didn’t hear from Nia for another couple of weeks. I second guessed myself and wondered if my going over to her home was a bad idea. She would eventually call me and with the help of her husband, she forgave me. The evening she broke down at her house, I dashed out of there and headed straight for my father’s. I was furious, how could he hide such huge things from me?

I remember leaving Nia’s home and driving at about 100mph. I just wanted to get into his face and punch him with all due respect.

I arrived there.

I stormed into my father’s house searching for blood. Maria the cleaning lady was doing her things as usual.

“Welcome Mr Murcel”

She said with her heavy Chilean accent. I waved her off and headed for my father’s study.

Up the stairs and around the corner I headed. My father’s study was at the front of the house with a balcony. He had a full view of the premises from the gate to the front door. He must have seen me from the proverbial a mile away.

I didn’t knock, I barged in. I began in a heightened angry tone,

“Why didn’t you tell me that she was pregnant?! They came to you with my child and you paid them off?!

Do you know what happened to that child?!”

With a stern but calm look on his face, he pointed at me barely looking up from the paper on his desk.

“Sit down, son”

“No! I’m not sitting down”

I yelled back. He stood up sharply and said with a now angry voice,

“Now listen to me, I did this for you but not only you, I did this for us. That girl and her family came to me with a baby. You were still in school, you needed to focus on that and our family was facing an election, we could not afford to face that.

Besides, what kind of story would it be if it came out that the son of a top executive was a witness to a rape of his girlfriend which resulted in a pregnancy but he didn’t do anything. So I paid them some money, enough money to take care of them fully and then send her back to school once the baby was born. You could have also gone to jail for a long long time.  I handled it.”

I paused for a second and gathered my anger again and said,

“You should have told me something! Anything! I would have let her know I did not abandon her and the baby. You hid that away from me because of your own selfish needs. You run for office. How much did you pay her?! Paying her to stay quiet.

Well congrats; you gave her money while I have lost everything. From a potential child to a barren home, all lost thanks to you. For all the money you gave her, that boy still died and she cursed my future for that. Thank you, father. You always found a way to control everything!”

I didn’t wait for a response; I just turned around and headed out of the room.

It was like my legs could not carry me fast enough.  I just wanted to be far away from him and my current life. It all felt hopeless. The woman I love had already left me, I put a child in another woman and that was also taken away from me somehow.

What was there to live for?

Why even bother trying?

I got into my car with tears streaming down my face.

Why was this happening to me? I knew I had made mistakes but why was I being punished like this?

I felt like I was stripped of my dignity, integrity and even happiness as a man. I didn’t know how to find myself. I was lost.

.    .    .     .    .    

I’m a Mess by Ed Sheeran


From the top of my mouth, through my nostrils and onto my huge forehead, I felt heavy pressure.

I slowly opened up my eyes as I sat up in my bed. There was a ringing sound in my ears. And the light in the room was making my headache worse.

I got up and stumbled across my room towards the door. I slipped on my house slippers and realized I had left my phone on the bed. I turned around and went back to get it. 

Pausing before I started walking back, I realized my room was a mess.  

It was a clear representation of my life at the time. Dirty clothes all over the floor, used empty plates by the bedsides, take out meal packets beginning to mould and unfolded laundry falling out of the basket; just one big mess.

Grabbing my phone, I stood still and stared at myself in the mirror. I hadn’t shaved in almost a month, full beard and I looked unkempt. I just felt like there was no need to look presentable to the world. 

For some reason I changed my mind about heading downstairs and I headed for the shower instead. I turned the water on, it usually took a few minutes to get hot. I sat down on the toilet seat and handled two pieces of business while I responded to my emails. I then proceeded into the bathroom. The water was hot and I had to dial it down. I stood at the back of the tub for a bit, as the shower sprayed water onto my shins and then like a kid getting into a swimming pool for the first time, I slowly came under the shower as the hot water soaked my body from the crown of head to the soles of my feet.

I stood there and I let the water cover me. The sound of the water drowned out the rest of the world as my thoughts raged at me.

It had been 5 months since Jae left. She never came back for any of her things. Her sister came by once to pick up a few things and that was it. I had not spoken to her, seen her, heard from her or had an idea where she was. I had begun to give up hope of her and our life as a couple. I feared that she might now be in love with someone else or trying desperately to forget me. I knew I had fucked up pretty bad but how to fix it was now the biggest problem and 5 months in, I still had no answers.

The water trickled down my chest and through my pubic hairs. I was washing away the soap around my dick and I cupped my balls in my hands. I looked down at them positioning my head to prevent the water from getting into my eyes as the shower continued to spray me.

Looking at my slowly hardening package, I realized that I hadn’t done anything sexual for a little over a month. Depression and everything else just killed my drive.

For whatever reason, I was on today. I gently began to stroke my shaft as it began to harden in my hands.

I forgot how good it felt to feel hard. The water was heating up the rest of my body, my right hand on the shower wall while my left hand pumped up and down on my now hardened cock. I wish I had somewhere to put it I thought. My mind flashed to Jae.

Both sets of her soft lips, her inviting curvy hips, her sexy voice and her perfectly rounded ass. I missed her body, I continued to pump while thinking of the one night I sent her a message saying


And I came home that night and tore it up.

I wanted a night like that but I realized that it wasn’t going to happen. The sadness crept into my mind quickly and I could feel myself begin to soften in my hands. I quickly pumped harder and faster. A few minutes later, the water was washing away my wasted seed down the drain.

I was out in my room, drying myself off. I slid on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. I headed down the stairs to my living room and turned the TV on. MSNBC was on, it was the Hardball show. I loved watching the news. I continued my journey to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator.

It was going to be noodles, stir fry and some sausage that I had left over from a few days ago. I hadn’t gone grocery shopping in a while. Ordering in was my new thing, reflected by the pile of restaurant menus I’d ordered from on the coffee table.  Standing there, I played back the day I walked into Jae and Nia sitting there and how they both ended up leaving that day. Every single day, I thought about how I could have made that different. A lot of “what if’s” floated through my head but I knew it was fate and it played out the way it needed to.

I absolutely hated the microwave hitting the last second and making that beeping sound. Right before it hit 2seconds left, I snapped the door open. I stopped. It sounded like I had heard a knock on the door. I was quiet, no follow-up knock.

I closed the microwave door and it seemed like there was another knock on the door. This time I had to check it out. I set my food down on the kitchen counter and headed for the door. I heard some movement. I bent down and looked into the peep hole; it was my father.

“What was he doing here?”

I asked myself. I hadn’t seen him since the confrontation at his house. I actually got nervous for a second because he had made no attempt to contact me either. I looked into the peep hole again and noticed there was someone else in the corner of my view but I couldn’t see them clearly. The person looked big but unrecognizable.

I looked behind me and realized my entire home was a mess. Shit!

I had no choice but to open the door and I did slowly. My dad stood in the doorway and looked at me

“Can we come in?”

I motioned them in as I held the door open. He walked in and coming from the corner of the front of the house, Jae walked in behind him.

Yes. You read that right. I was shocked. Frozen into my spot, I didn’t know how to feel. On one hand, I was happy on the inside and on the other, very nervous about her standing in front of me.  

“Sit down, son”

My father began as Jae took her seat beside him. She was different. She looked like she had a glow and I was curious to know. My father continued on,

“Marcel, I want to apologize to you and your wife, Jae. Way back when I paid off Nia and her family to go away, I thought I had your best interests in mind but evidently, I only had mine. Time and various situations have shown me that, I was wrong. I believe that my actions back then caused certain things to happen in your marriage and I take responsibility for that. Indeed for everything I am truly sorry. My actions back then contributed to the separation between you both, there for, I had to reach out to Jae and plead with her to come back to her marital home.”

My father looked straight at me while he talked. He was always an honest man when it came to his family and being straightforward with them. I always respected him for that and I think that was why I was so hurt he kept the whole thing about Nia from me back then.

He turned to his right and looked at Jae.

“Go and sit with your husband”

Jae rose and came to sit next to me across from my father. He continued,

“I am here to humbly ask for your forgiveness…. Both of you. And implore you to not let the love between you which is clearly there die. Remember that love is patient and can stand the test of many difficult tests life throws at it. You love each other. Grow that, cherish that”

I was moved by what my father said and I nodded at him respectfully. Turning over to Jae, I held her hands in mine and said,

“Jae, my love, these past few months have been the worst of my life because I was not waking up to you in my life. I am sorry for whatever way I might have hurt you and our families. I never meant to hurt you. I truly want to earn your love and your trust if you will let me. I need you back… More than ever, I know I need you. Please come home. I truly love you.”

Tears had begun to form inside her lower eye lids, she squeezed my hands gently and said,

“You are my everything and even though I was hurt, I realized that it wasn’t entirely your fault and even Nia called to tell me she forgave you and wanted me to do the same. So why not? I have been away in London for the past 5 months and I go back tomorrow. No one knows I am here and I want to keep it that way to protect us. All of us. You are the love of my life and I want us to go back to being a family, a happy family.”

She removed her left hand which still had her wedding ring on it and began to rub her belly.

“I know you missed out on one opportunity to be a father the first time my love but this time, I know you will be a great dad. We are having a baby!”

I was overjoyed. A huge smile broke across my face, my wife was back and she was carrying a baby. I was so happy but confused. I uttered..

“how? We haven’t had…”

She stopped me in my tracks, knowing exactly what I was going to ask and said,

“Remember that day I came to your office? Yeah, it was that day.”

I remembered that day. That was a magical day. I leaned in and kissed my wife on her lips. I was the happiest man in the world. No single pregnancy we had ever had before made it past the 4 month mark. I was beyond joyous.

Jae was heading back to London to protect the situation and any kind of “attacks”. Nobody except the 3 of us in the room knew about her being pregnant and it was going to stay that way till the baby was born.

Right before Jae turned around to leave, she looked around the room in all it’s messiness and said,

“Thank God I’m pregnant; I won’t be responsible for cleaning this up”

We laughed as they left. I walked them to the car and gave Jae a hug and waved them off. I stood still and thought of how much of a lucky man I was.

It all felt out of this world, I was beyond grateful and I hadn’t even processed it all yet.

.    .     .     .     .     .

I was walking through the hallway towards the sound of my name. It was loud and tempered with fear. The voice was familiar and scared. It was Jae. The last time I had heard her scream my name like that was a few nights prior in bed but this sounded more like the noise she made in the delivery room almost two years ago.

I knew that her water hadn’t broken yet, it wasn’t time yet but I also wasn’t sure if it was another miscarriage or not. I feared the worst. I pulled up into the balcony of my father’s house where the whole family was present for our annual Christmas party and there she was.

With panic written all over her face, she pointed to the corner of the balcony towards the railings. It was Marcel Jr.

I stopped and burst out laughing, he was crying, Jae’s panic was slowly turning to laughter. Remember what I said about having a big head, well I definitely gave it to my son. Great genes!

He had stuck his big head in between the rails and gotten stuck. It took me back a few years to my situation before he was born. I was trapped before too and just like now, it was the people I loved the most that helped me out. 

I walked over to him, still with a smile on my face, I crouched and said, 


The End

“Realize your worth today and reach out to someone going through a tough time. You might just be that outlet they are looking for.”


Thank you for reading Trapped 1-4. You are highly appreciated. NEW STORY out NEXT SATURDAY. SNIPPET ON WEDNESDAY


Lookout for Part 4 of TRAPPED next Saturday

© 2014 #WhatTheHeckMan

Erotica · Fiction · Uncategorized

Trapped 3

Trapped 3


Follow @adewus4real

Follow the writer on Twitter @adewus4real #WhatTheHeckMan



                                                    Faaji ft. OC Nicotine by Chordratic Beats


I thought Jae had missed the awkward exchange between us but apparently she hadn’t.

“Do you guys know each other?”

She said with a smile on her face clearly oblivious to what was happening or so I thought. With both of us shaking our heads, I responded

“No, we don’t. She looks familiar though”

It was a lie. A clear one that I think Jae must have seen through but I couldn’t have risked the truth at that moment.

She giggled and said to Nia

“Marcel knows just about everyone, it’s actually quite stressful.”

I knew she was only teasing but a part of me felt like she said that particular sentence to reach out for a slip up. I stood firm and smiled back. Nia looked at my father in disgust and then at me, she excused herself and walked out. My eyes had followed her as she walked out. When she was out of sight, I turned back around and caught the glare from Jae. She sensed something.

There had been something off about me since I returned from the hospital. I had been trying to keep it under wraps hoping that Jae wouldn’t find out about it. I was still in shock, replaying the face I saw at the hospital over and over. It really was her and I could not believe it. I did not know what to do and my father, the man who never thought any problem was unsolvable, admitted we had a problem. I was confused and powerless.

I remember sitting at my dining table alone thinking,

“I thought she moved?”
“I thought she lived in a different state”
“How did she get so far up in the same town and I never noticed her?”

I had to talk to her. I just had to.

Jae was scheduled to be discharged after observation that day. Due to the many times we had lost babies, we had agreed that she needed to have a therapist. Dr Yeung had been working with her for about a year now and I felt he was a sort of calming influence for her. Jae respected him and valued his help. My bank account respected the importance of the need, so it never complained.

I got to the hospital in the late afternoon after leaving work early that day. I walked in and headed to Jae’s floor. Her appointment with Dr. Yeung was scheduled to end at 5pm, so I had about 45 minutes to find Nia and talk to her. I asked for her at the floor’s receptionist desk and they called and asked for her to come down. I sat impatiently in the lobby waiting for her. I was nervous and unsure about how this was all going to go down. A few minutes later, I heard her arrive next to me.

She wore glasses now but back in the day, she didn’t. She slowly took them off and asked,

“What do you want?”

I picked up on the hint of disgust and resentment in her voice. I slowly stood up and in a lowered voice, I asked,

“Can we please speak in private?”

She rolled her eyes and sighed.

“10 minutes”

She responded as she led me towards an open hospital room down a few doors down. She walked in before me and I walked in and closed the door behind us. I stood there and she had this expecting look on her face to urge me to start talking. I took a deep breath in and began to speak;

“Nia, I don’t even know where to start. It’s been so long and I don’t know what happened between us after that night. I had so much to explain. One moment we were something and the next we were gone….”

She cut me out mid statement and said,

“Look Marcel, you look like you have done well for yourself and that’s great but after what you and your family put me through back then, I don’t want to have anything to do with you. And I have nothing to say to you. I will be as professional as possible with your wife but I do not want to speak to you. So if you would excuse me, I have patients to attend to”

She stormed out of the room and slammed the door shut. My biggest fear had been realized. This encounter had gone sour and now she was mad at me. Nia from back then held grudges and that obviously hadn’t changed. I deserved every bit of it though; I had messed up back then big time. And I obviously hadn’t been forgiven. It’s not only the sins of the father’s that live on after them, sometimes it’s the sins of the man himself that will haunt him.
My heart sunk into my stomach and a cloud of darkness seemed to cover the room. I took a deep breath and opened the door, walking into the bright lights in the hospital hallways.

I entered Jae’s hospital room and Nia was already there. Jae still unassuming to my understanding, Nia was talking to her about ways to continue to take care of herself. Jae was already on a strict diet and on a bunch of pills to support the process and the help with the constant blood loss she had. Dr Yeung said his goodbyes, shook my hand and walked out. Nia finished up as Jae who was sitting at the foot of the bed, thanked her and got up. We walked out together, Nia walking behind us. We stepped outside the room, headed to the left and down the hall. I turned around and caught a glimpse of Nia standing in the hallway behind us. She had a look of sadness in her eyes. She quickly turned around with her head bowed. I was sure I had hurt that woman.

. . . . . .


                                                                                   Lust or Love – Tay

It had been two weeks since the hospital and I hadn’t been able to shake the thought of Nia out of my head. This particular day I was in my office, it was a Saturday when the rest of my staff was gone. The way I was, whenever I had something not work related weighing on my mind, I would immerse myself in work till it was all I thought about. I just couldn’t leave the room to think about other things that continued to depress and confuse. I had left many texts on Nia’s phone, a number I had illegally retrieved online. There were no replies.

I turned my chair around deep in thought, papers all over my conference table with a jug of water I had been drinking from. It was full when I walked in, now almost empty. I stared out the window into the hills. The day was beautiful outside but my heart; covered in darkness.

I met Nia in my freshman year of college in one of my sociology classes. It was filled with girls but she stood out to me. She was smart, witty and she had an amazing sense of humor. I gradually moved seats as class sessions went by until I was seated close enough to her. I would eventually talk to her and even had the final group project with her which we obviously smashed out the park. We rocked together. We were both young and new to it all. Enjoying the experience with her was fun.
When I decided to pledge, she thought it would be a good idea to join a fraternity with connections post-graduation to set me up in the future. She was a little disappointed when I ended up picking what was notoriously known to be a party house.
Nia and I weren’t together officially at the time I found I was going to be accepted to join the fraternity. Part of the pledging process was that I had to come up with money to throw a huge summer party and by the end of the night; I had to have sex with a girl on the bed they gave me on top of the fraternity’s custom made sheets. It seemed fairly simple and straightforward, my father was well to do and I had Nia. We had been having sex for about a month and feelings were already there, it was just a matter of the right time to make it official.

The night of the pledging, they blindfolded all of us. They drove us to a spot approximately 12 minutes away from campus to a causeway. We got out of the cars and the blind folds were lifted. We were directed to use some big rocks on the ground to write out the name of our fraternity. It was noticeable from the freeway next by. We then returned downtown in the city where our school was located. We tagged some buildings with graffiti and then headed back to the house.

It was around midnight and people were beginning to fill up the house. I headed to my room and showered. I came down about 30 minutes later and Nia showed up soon after. After the step show, chanting and the speech by the “brother” (the head of our fraternity) welcoming us all, the party was on. Drinks were everywhere, drugs were everywhere, girls were everywhere and sex floated in the air. About an hour later, Nia and I were high and drunk, her a bit more than I. We headed towards my room. A high five from one of my fellow pledges and we were soon on my bed. I was fondling her, nervously kissing her and laughing midway through.

I cupped her breasts in my hands and squeezed while my mouth searched her body. I was nervous and naïve. I didn’t even wonder if they were recording the whole thing. The sex was average at best. I don’t know if it was because we were under the influence but it was done in mere minutes. Not two, a prime number greater than five and less than 11.
I got up and stumbled to the bathroom to take off the condom. I had this weird check I performed back then with condoms to ensure they never broke. I would fill them with water and squeeze the water around it. Think water balloons. I was going to make sure I wasn’t at risk of anything. This particular one wasn’t leaking.
It must have been when the water was running that they came but the sight I came out of the bathroom to would later haunt me for a long time.

I returned from the bathroom and noticed two of my frat brothers on the bed. One was kissing on Nia and the other playing with her privates. I was taken aback. I couldn’t believe it.
One of the head “brothers” came up to me after obviously noticing the shock and confusion on my face. He put his arm around me and said,

“This is not a problem… right?
We all share here. We are all brothers”

I wanted to fit in so bad and that night I made the most cowardly decision I have ever made as a man. As one of the guys wanted to violate Nia with his privates, the “brother” still standing next to me with his hand on my shoulder said,

“This shouldn’t be that bad. She’ll enjoy it. He’s good. After all, she isn’t your girl right?”

There was a window right there for me to stop this all. I looked up at him, it was as if my answer had to be perfect. I looked down and said nothing, just shook my head conveying “no”.
Nia was under the influence but I knew she could feel things and she knew it wasn’t right but she couldn’t fight back. There I was, worried about the wrong things. Vain things and I was hurting the woman that I cared about. That wasn’t me, it was the man I was becoming and I had to stop that guy but I didn’t quickly enough.

They made me stand there and watch the whole thing. I stood there and fought back tears. Nia was turning and would make out a period to keep her eyes open to look at me. It was a begging look. Pleading with me to make it stop but I did nothing. I just watched. I watched just to fit in. I let my morals slip away.
When it was over, a short but damaging 16 minutes, another set of brothers came in and cleaned Nia up. It seemed like they had been used to this. It felt like a cleanup to prevent the drugged girl from knowing what had happened. The rest of the night was a horrible blur. I never heard from Nia again. She dropped out of the school shortly after and I heard she moved out of the country about two months later. The other cowardly thing I did was not attempt to find her before she left. She wasn’t staying at her parents but I should have still tried harder.

The sins of a man. This secret had me trapped for years. I never thought it would surface and now it was breaking my heart. The things that happened that night to me and to Nia had weighed so much on my current life and I didn’t know it.

National Sexual Assault Hotline – 1.800.656.HOPE

“A bystander to evil that does nothing is just as responsible for the evil. Do something. Speak up”


I thought to myself as I came back from my memories and my cell phone buzzed again. It was Jae. I wiped the tears off my face, cleared my throat and answered.


. . . . .

Jae was outside my office building. She had returned from her wedding and decided to surprise me. This was the worst day that this could have happened.

I straightened myself out and headed for the front door. Letting her in, I gave her a hug as she gripped me tight. Her red covered lips planted a huge kiss on my lips. She looked amazing. She was a wearing a white and black stripped dress, knee length, with pink pumps and her blue clutch. I was pretty sure a few years back, I would have feasted her up before she left the house looking that good.

“How’s the work going my hardworking superman?”

She smiled as she sat on the conference table.

“It’s going baby. How was the wedding?”

I responded,

“Oh the wedding was fine but forget the wedding. I had an idea while I was waiting outside. We haven’t had sex at this new office since your company moved some years back. I want you to fuck me all over this table”

This was the freaky Jae talking. She was going for it.
She seemed very up for great sex at the moment but I was worried in my head that I would not be able to get my member up.
There was just something about her in heels. I scanned down at her legs and I somehow got turned on. My member slowly began to rise. She leaned back and pulled her dress up, revealing her dark blue lace panties. I knew it was about to go down. She spread her legs, licked her fingers and slowly moved them from her mouth to her lips down south.

“Are you going to take them off or…?”

She snapped the lining of her underwear. I reached in, still seated and pulled off her panties. Wet.
I licked my lips and looked up at her. She had this look of anticipation, waiting for my warm tongue to touch her wet pussy.
This was crazy! But it was happening and anyone that has ever had sex at their workplace would tell you the same. Well you should never tell anyone that before your ass gets fired. Back to #WhatTheHeckMan series…
I leaned in and French kissed her lips. They kissed back. Wet, they covered my lips with their juices. My tongue went searching inside their cabin and my beard was now getting covered in her showers. Her back was arched all the way; her braids hitting the table. She scratched the table looking for a grip. Nothing.
I absolutely enjoyed feasting on her body. My left fingers still playing with her right nipple as my tongue paced back and forth on her clit. I stuck two fingers into her. It was hot in there. My fingers as they worked in and out like an oil rig shaft continued to get covered in wetness.
I was ready and about to get up when she rose and pushed me down. She got on her knees and took me into her mouth. There was something about the way she sucked on the rod, working both her lips and hands at the same time. It was perfection.
She made it wet. Nasty wet.

Slobbering all over it. Spit covered, my member throbbed hard. I was clutching the handles on the seats trying to maintain composure as best as I could. She was getting me close and I wasn’t afraid either. I wanted to get this first one out of the way, so we could enjoy the rest of the party together.
I placed my right hand on her head, holding it down as I neared that climax. It was going to be a full load, I could feel it in my balls.

“Yess… Yess… Arghhhh!!!”

I let out the grunts as I shot my load into the back wall of her wanting mouth. She swallowed.
Licked her lips and got up. She pulled my chair that had been moved back while I came close to the desk, she turned around and before my member had time to drop its head and go sad she got it happy and slid on it. It was so warm in there!
I could feel my shaft throbbing as she worked her way up and down. She was moaning loudly. There was just something about this encounter. She wanted this bad!
She placed her hands on her head and she bounced up and down on my dick. I held her at her waist to help guide her along. I could tell she was nearing her climax. I got up, without pulling out of her, bent her over the desk and gripped her waist really tightly.
My thrusts were harder, you could almost say angrier. I was hitting it hard. In and out. Her moans were now many times louder and here we were in my office, windows open and asses hanging out.

“Cum for me dadddyyy… Shooot that shit inside me!”

Thrust. Thrust. Thrust.

“Oh shit!. Oh shit”

Was mostly what she was saying and then it happened. The full load.
All inside her, I clutched her waist really close and empty my barrel into her warm wetness. She turned around with the biggest smile on her face. Half of it was surprise at the fact that we just did that at my place of work and the other half was that it was amazing.

She leaned into me and kissed me on the cheek and then whispered in my ear while grabbing my shaft and rolled my balls in her hands,

“He should get ready for round two when we get home”

I smiled. It was on.
Because of her, I had forgotten about all my other problems. It felt great to just have her. She led the way out as I watched her sway from left to right while I armed the building’s alarm system. She always looked like a Queen. Part two was definitely going to happen.

. . . . . .

Our lives had finally settled down after the last miscarriage or so it seemed. I had begun to worry less about Nia. I was resigned to the fact that I just might not have been able to fix that. And she barely told me much so what was I even trying to fix?

I pulled into the drive way that evening and there was a car parked in my parking spot next to my wife’s car. I was a bit irritated because it meant that I had to park my car on the street and I would have to come back outside to move it again before the garbage trucks came by in the morning. I was tired.
I stepped out of the car and headed for the rear of the car. The trunk was already opened; I reached for laptop bag and grabbed my running shoes with my index and thumb fingers on my left hand. Using the base of my left hand, I closed the trunk and headed towards the house. I arrived at the door and struggled to let myself in with all the things in my hands. I eventually got in.

The second living area was the first thing you saw when you walked into our house and then her kitchen, after turning the corner, you then had a clear sight towards the main living room in the house with most of the bedrooms upstairs. I could hear Jae talking to someone but couldn’t really make out who it was and I really didn’t care. I just wanted to hit the shower, eat some dinner and knock out.
I let out my usual phrase when Jae didn’t physically see me when I came home. Coming around the corner, headed for the living room, I said,

“Hey mama, I’m home”

I turned into the living room. I stopped in my tracks. My brain went into overdrive. The television was on; food network. There were glasses of water on the coffee table on top of coasters like Jae always wanted. The perfectly lit and spaced room suddenly felt smaller. I could feel my heart playing catch up with the rest of my body. I felt like I was going to faint. I hated being blindsided, I still do. I noticed her handbag leaning on the couch next to her. I noticed her blue pumps, crossed over each other. My eyes were picking up on everything as they searched for answers. My eyes had torn the whole room about apart but I had not moved a single inch. And then Jae broke the silence. She stood up and almost fighting back tears, she said,

“You’re a rapist?! You raped her?!!”

The tears started to flow. My heart began to shatter into tiny little pieces. I could feel them drop onto the floor with all the tension in the air and silence in the room. I wasn’t exactly sure what to say. I know I needed to say something but nothing came out.
I was in shock… Double shock! I was still holding it together until Jae said these next words which snatched out my heart and crushed it.

“You are a sick bastard and I never want to have anything to do with you.”

Nia had gotten up at this point; bag in hand and was ready to leave. Jae walked her towards the door and a few minutes out. I was glued to the spot; literally. So many questions raced through my head and I struggled to find answers. It felt like a movie or a very bad prank that was perfectly executed. I finally was able to move. My mouth was dry, heart racing and palms sweaty.

I tried to make sense of it all. I tried to find the words, all that came to mind was….

Help me say it!!!!!!!!!!, #WhatTheHeckMan!!!!!

Come back for the concluding Part 4 next week. It promises to be epic. Trust me! Leave me a comment….



Lookout for Part 4 of TRAPPED next Saturday

© 2014 #WhatTheHeckMan