The Utility Man
When my heart was bleeding out of my chest
You were there
At the end of every phone call
Responding to every text
You knew my hurt like you put it there
But you were like a masseuse
Gently rubbing out my wear and tear
You held my hand while I shed every tear
Promised me that not every man was built to make you want to pull your hair
It’s amazing how over time
I got used to you being there
You were never truly mine
And I know without you
I probably wouldn’t be here
You smiled and told me we just had to get back on track
I called her
I thought I need to
But she made me feel like a fool
And you knew
You knew how it would play out
But you stayed true
In my corner like the cheerleaders do
You sang my name louder than I would ever do
Your words carried patience
Knowing you fostered peace
With you slowly I learned
That the mistakes I made did not have to define me
Because people like you still exist
There for me and my growth
But certainly not wanting anything from me
I didn’t realize the progress you had made in me
Till I fell again
Hurt came knocking once more
But I saw it from miles away
You had taught me that I deserved more
Now I’m a blessing to others once again
The lessons I learned with you have given me reason to smile again
Because of you
I’m glad my life didn’t stay the same
Because you opened the door and encouraged my growth
As I shed my shame
I’m proud of who I am today because of you
You reminded me of the true greatness that lives in my name
Broken faucets. Splintered tiles. Sparking sockets. Dead bulbs.
You know when you come out of your apartment, and you notice a “Request to Enter” letter from your apartment complex on your door?
Basically, asking for permission to go into the apartment while you’re not there and fix something?
That was the idea behind utility man.
Recently, I’ve been thinking about this journey of growth that some of us embark on.
I think we can all testify to having certain people in our lives that contribute to either a healing process/growth process/facilitating change.
They are ever present folks who do the thankless.
They listen, they pray, they hold you, they help ensure that as you work towards redefinition of yourself, you do it right.
I’m not necessarily speaking about your best friends. They can sometimes be too emotional and gung-ho to do “whatever you need for you”
But there are the Utility Men/Women, they come in when you least expect it.
And chip away at the negatives. Show you how to love again, how to feel love, that you are special.
Friends that thrive off your chaos. Always in the background and only come to the fore when you need them.
Silently chipping way, they are like the 6th man on an NBA team. The uncelebrated but immensely important part of the rolling machine.
These are the ones that pray for and with you, fast for you, be patient with you.
And when they are done, and you’re back on your feet, they are the understanding ones that are okay with you “ignoring” them again.
One of the most important pieces about utility folk is that they are ready for every task.
They can hold you up in so many different ways or areas of your life. Financially, spiritually, emotionally, academically… they are present with a calming voice on every front.
It’s like they are the most skilled. The right words to say.
They almost always answer when you call them, even when they are fast asleep.
Anything to be there for you. And what do they seek in return?
Your genuine happiness.
Utility men are not expected to stay. Sometimes they do, but most times they are there for a purpose and then they are gone.
Don’t expect them to stay.
Not because they don’t love you but that’s not how they mostly cater to you.
And needing them beyond your process becomes a disservice to both of you.
Don’t start to crush on your utility man/woman or hope they could actually be the change you search for.
It can mess up the entire process.
Are there people that rely on you?
Bank on you being solid for them?
You have to stay present for them. Be alert to their struggles.
Sometimes, they will not put in a “work order” for you to come in and fix something but you can tell something is broken.
Stand up and show up.
It is people that have great utility teams that are usually more confident about coming out of difficult situations because they know that they have someone behind them who is solid.
I thank God for my life and those that have been present with me as I have navigated these waters and continue to grow.
You. Are. Amazing.
I am truly blessed. Truly.
It is important to note that utility folk are there when it rains, shines and clouds.
But more importantly, they operate under an invisibility cloak.
Their effects and efforts, will be enough testament of your growth for the whole world to see.
It’s the #WordsOfWednesday on #WhatTheHeckMan by The Wordsmith.
Thank you for reading and commenting. You are highly appreciated.
Lookout for Part 4 of The Cradle; this Saturday.
© 2015 #WhatTheHeckMan