Sometimes you hear the saying “Thank God for the come up” but what if the place you were at before the “come up” was the safest place you’ve ever known?
Remember when all you so desperately wanted was to understand love. To have what they have. What that other couple had, everyone has that one couple in their life that they just wish they had most if not all they have. And now you experience love but it burns you. The one thing you so desperate craved, comes back to burn you. Now I’m not saying love is not “beautiful, amazing, rewarding” and everything else in between but I’m saying what if the security you craved to get from being in love is nothing compared to the safety you had when you hadn’t really messed with love?
Some beautiful people you watch, jovial and outgoing. They either fall for the right reasons but for the wrong person or just stupidly fall and it all goes south. An emotion can so quickly change the entire dynamic of a person’s life. You gotta change your environment, sometimes friends, sometimes you. All for something you can’t put your hand on.
Remember when you patiently waited for the text from her. Now you hope she doesn’t text. You hope she doesn’t contact you so your current girl doesn’t have to ask. So you don’t have to lie or bring up the past, plain and simple. Remember when you were struggling to get out of someone’s friend zone, now you can’t stop putting people into yours because you’re too “damaged” to face love and know what to do with it?
And the worst is when you clearly love someone else but have to stay away for reasons bigger than both of you. It’s never in the manual that love comes with many things that can determine the likelihood of you staying in love. Then you move from relationship to relationship searching for that kind of love again minus the hurt and disappointment. The disappointing feeling has to come from coming to with the fact terms that you might never find that kind of love again. The true love you once had. Sometimes from places you never expected you community college campus, by a Levy or even the Planned Parenthood lobby. Love is no respecter of location.
Part of loving yourself and your happiness is never giving up on love though and knowing that you’ll find yours. Appreciate and cherish it. Hang on to the thread of what you love, like the Old Tea House, you might feel many emotions but you can never replace that original feeling, the true one you once felt. It’s easy to say “I love you” but it’s everything when you know that I’ll always love you. Sad thing is you might never get the chance to prove that again.
You can go thru all these emotions and ups and downs only to find the love you think you lost or struggled to find and claim it’s all worth it. You never know. This life is just crazy but you gotta love it right?