For that reason I only try to maintain the new phenomenon
Giving all of me
Selling dreams I make these women believe
I’ve gotten in tough situations
Now I’m stuck in a rut
Battling to fight hurt and make the right decisions
These women are not relenting
Wanting things from me
When all I’ve been truly begging
Is that they help me find me
I’m put together in front of my parents
They tell the world that I’m the greatest
But I feel like the fakest
I try to conceal
My true feelings and thoughts
Because I know maintaining the perception they have of me is a must
So I tell them what they need to hear
Keeping from them the fact that I was damn near
Near death and it’s cold embrace
But I show up to church on Sunday and pray for God’s grace
Hands lifted up
When less than 24hrs prior they were on some random girls butt
Telling God the things I promise to do not
When last night I was selling her dreams and hungry like a dog that just wanted a quick fuck
Their trying to find me
My friend’s don’t know my pain
You cannot quantify my pain
Thinking you know mine
Would be insane
Let’s all just stay on Twitter and play the game
From nudes to prudes
Memes and jokes
Fights we stoke
We gather to sell dreams and like traders in the temple
Behind simp hours and DM’s we hide
Your follower counts stay on the rise
While people’s esteems you force to commit suicide
And then you RT and LOL
But that won’t get you anywhere
See how lost I told you I was
I can’t even gather my thoughts properly for once
I have found me in this chaos
My blood pressure is high and I’m 23
Looking at my student loans I wish I just had money for the payoff
But I know I’m trapped in this realm and there is no need to for a standoff
But hey maybe I just need to fight the world
Fight the hurt
The lies and the deceit
Go and find the woman and I truly love from the heat
Stand her on her feet
While I get on my knees
Get rid of this lifestyle that’s like a disease
Maybe I will
I’ll fight the world and then lose
Maybe then someone will find my body
Actually they might not
Many of us are dead inside walking around like zombies
No don’t get upset, please
I swear I was talking to me
Do we have the same disease?
I started off this blog due to heart ache and feeling at a crossroads with all my emotions. I was depressed. Angry and fully unaware of how to deal with it all.
I had been writing for almost a decade but just collecting my work and never really putting it out for people to say. So I want to thank you as you read this, you have journeyed with me as I dealt with pain, love, heartbreak and ache, excitement, disappointment, creativity and fellowship. Today marks the 1 year Anniversary of #WhatTheHeckMan, what started off as a platform for a young man to express himself now helps push creativity and excitement for many. I sincerely say “Thank You”
Do not sleep on me, this platform or following you heart unless it leads you to burn plantain. Thank you once again for always reading, retweeting and letting me flood your timelines on Saturdays. I appreciate you all. Stay Up!
Lookout for Part 2 of my current series; TRAPPED 2 on Saturday.
Follow the writer on Twitter @adewus4real #WhatTheHeckMan
⟹ ⟹ ⟹ PLAY THE SONG BEFORE READING. START THE SONG FIRST.
One by Ed Sheeran
It had been a couple of hours of trying to make sense of the entire thing when Sam showed up with some food. I was still angry and confused but Sam had one rule, no matter what was going on, I still had to eat. She had stopped by her house and brought some rice, smoked turkey and some “aya mase” stew. The plantain was part of the accompanying party; even death could not make me play with that. Looking frustrated like a kid who did not want to eat their vegetables, she forced me to eat. About 20 minutes later my nostrils were blazing, heat burning through my stomach and I was still angry.
“Okay, now tell me what happened. Again”
She said in her usual calm voice.
“Can you believe that bastard? My useless uncle Dele, impregnated my mother and then killed her!”
I raged out of the blocks.
“He did it! I know he did it!”
I continued physically showing signs of aggravation and anger as I clenched my fists together.
“Look at the papers”
I pointed at the sheets lying on the bed.
“She was transferring monies to him for God knows what and he was also in town the day she went for her appointment at the doctors. Why?! What was he doing there? And then he goes with them on vacation and then all of a sudden, they turn up dead and they are fine?!
No Sam! He did it!”
“Are you sure baby? That sounds like a lot to accuse someone of babe.”
Sam began with. I knew it was going to annoy me. A frown came across my face as she spoke.
“Why don’t you let the detective know what you have found and then let him do his job and find out the truth”
She was such a voice of reason for me but it was so annoying that she was telling me what I needed to hear and not what I wanted. Ugh!
“But…. I know….”
She placed her hand over my lip and walked me slowly backwards to the bed.
“Come and get some rest my king, it has been an intense and long day. You need some rest”
I gently sat on the bed as she kissed my still burning lips.
I lay on my back thinking about everything. She lay next to me. Her head on the right side of my chest; I ran my hand down her hair. I was still confused but she made sense. She was the only thing in my life that made sense.
. . . . . .
I slowly turned over and stretched out my body. I rolled within the sheets for a bit. Twisting and turning, my mind trying to ignore the reality of time that awaited me outside my closed eyes.
I stopped turning and lay still, my eyes still closed, I could hear the clock ticking outside my heart…
“Tick…. Tick… Tick”
In the focus of that I realized that I was alone in bed. I had fallen asleep with Sam firmly draining the blood out of my right arm as her decent sized head camped on it all through the night. I had watched her sleep with her mouth slightly ajar and her drooling out. She was a beautiful woman, even in her sleep but her drooling was something I still marveled at. Even “perfect” beings have
I had been in my thoughts for roughly about 5 minutes and I finally decided to open my eyes. I opened my eyes and the sunbeams invited themselves into my room and onto my face. It was warm. I turned around and to my back on the left side of my bed; I glanced at the alarm clock. Set 15 minutes ahead of what the actual time was, it read 12:18pm.
I muttered as I ran my hand over my head. I had clearly over slept. Oh well, I got up and grabbed my phone. A few people had texted me. Sam also texted to wish me a good morning and asked me to call her to update her later;
“Good morning my love, I am writing this message standing over you right now. Not like crazy eyes from OITNB but with watchful loving eyes. I just planted soft kisses all over your handsome bearded face. You look like a warrior that just won a grueling battle or when you’ve passed out from me sucking your dick dry after you’ve cum. Lol. Okay, okay sorry I brought that up. Olowo ori mi, I just want you to know that no matter what you decide to do, I’ll be by you 200% as always. Don’t forget that. Please call me when you wake up or after you speak to the detective. I love you mucho mucho grande. If you wake up in time, I made some eggs, they are covered in the microwave. I know how much you hate stale or cold food. Make sure you eat, or you’ll catch these hands!”
I smiled and sat up. Damn, I had slept for a cool minute or more like hours. I had been so tired. Work and life had managed to drain me out. I needed all that sleep after an emotionally draining day. I pulled up my phone and dialed his number; detective. Sigh.
The conversation was very similar to the one I had with Sam. He listened while I blabbed and then he said,
“I will be in Dallas tomorrow afternoon. We have some leads on our end too and I have some action to take care of over there.”
“I will be there too.”
I said, beginning to head for my computer to book the next flight. I was ready to go down there and witness the evil man that murdered my parents go down.
I hung up the phone and texted Sam about the plans. I was going to take the next 5 days off. She only needed to take off 1 working day as it was already Thursday. She responded with a simple,
Rushed packing and close to a thousand dollars later; tickets booked. We were leaving that night. I called up my supervisor and told her I had a family emergency to attend to out of state and I would be gone. I packed up all the letters and papers on the floor and dumped them into a garbage bag. I packed the full garbage bag into a suitcase of it’s own and continued packing. It was almost 8pm and we had a 10:05pm flight to catch. I hated being late so you can imagine how I felt sitting in front of my condo leaning on my car and Sam still hadn’t shown up.
I was texting on my phone when Sam pulled up.
“Baby, I’m sooooooo sorry. It was my best friend that held me up, that’s why I’m late.”
I rolled my eyes and sternly said,
I only ever called her by her “Nigerian” name when she had done something really bad.
She looked up at me and didn’t respond. She had those eyes, those “forgive me right now I’m a baby girl eyes”. I couldn’t help it.
“Just enter the car and let’s go!”
I had checked in online and all I really needed to do was drop off my car at the airport-parking garage.
The check-in process was smooth. It was about 10:11pm when I glanced at my watch sitting on the window seat of the plane. I hated looking out the window while flying, it made me want to throw up but I also loved watching the takeoff and landing. That’s why I religiously picked that seat for all my flights. Minutes later we were taking off and I looked out the window, I must have stared too long as I began to have motion sickness. I closed the window and leaned back in my seat. I glanced at Samantha who was already reading an article for work. I reached for my wallet and looked at the picture of my parents to ensure that I had it in there. A deep sadness covered my heart. I took in a deep breath and sighed heavily; I was going to fight for the justice in whatever way I had to.
The heat hit me as we walked out of the DFW airport. I was tired but ready to go. These next few days would be eye opening and I had to be ready. We were sitting down outside the airport waiting for my cousin to come and pick us up. It just seemed like everyone wanted to make me wait that day. It had been 30 minutes and no sign of her, so I called up her phone. She answered at the second ring and told me that she wasn’t the one coming to get us. I was still trying to figure it all out when Sam drew my attention to a car that pulled up behind me. I turned around and thought to myself,
“What the heck man?!”
“What was he doing here? Was he trying to die?!”
Sam, knowing how my temper can fly off the handle sometimes, immediately walked up to me and placed her hands around me.
“Calm down and talk baby she continued to say”
I was heated and ready to pop off. This man killed my parents and then thought it was okay to come here? Is he mad?
I finally spoke…
“I am not getting in that car”
I said to my uncle, now standing out of the car. He looked at me calmly and said,
“Femi, the police department already called and spoke to me to today. I know what you think and how you feel but I would not have come here if I was guilty. Please sit in the car and let me explain and I will tell you all that I know. If after that you still want to leave, that is fine.”
I shook my head in disapproval and he continued to talk. Sam finally said, in a whispering voice,
“Just hear him out babe, we can even leave our bags outside the car”
Sigh. She just always made sense. We left our bags next to the car, curbside to the airport door and sat in the car. I sat in the front and Sam in the back directly behind me.
“Femi, I know you know about your mom and I.”
My uncle started and then he continued on to say,
“But I want you to know that I would have never killed her. I loved her and truly wanted to care for her and out baby.”
I felt like he thought this was meant to make me feel better but it actually served to annoy me. Sam placed her right hand on my shoulder and slowly rubbed it in a motion to calm me down.
My uncle continued;
“I don’t have all the answers but that woman was carrying my child and to me, that meant something so I would never harm her or your father in that way. “
He then went on to say something that resonated with me and changed the direction of my thought; a Yoruba proverb from our homeland;
“Kokoro ton je efo, idi efo lo wa”
Which essentially means,
“The enemy/root of your problems are closer than you think”
Then he asked,
“Would you be staying with us at the house tonight or do you have hotel reservations somewhere?”
Sam responded from the back seat,
“Uncle we’ll stay at the house”
He started the car and began driving. I said nothing; staring out the windshield my brain was running in all different kinds of ways. I was now more confused than ever. What did he mean? What was going on? What the bloody fuck was going on?!
. . . . . .
Shots on Shots | Ice Prince and Sarkodie
Our bodies were off by a few hours but we woke up around 1pm after getting home that morning from the airport at about 6am. I had spent most of those hours lying in what used to be my room and staring out the window trying to understand what my uncle meant. Sam had woken up in the middle of the night and left the room for a period of time. I thought I might have been snoring or something, it made no sense to me at the time.
I hadn’t taken a shower when my uncle called out for me to come downstairs. Walking down the stairs to the living room, Sam closely behind me, I noticed Det. Rosen sitting on the couch. He stood up and shook my hand. I sat down across from my uncle with the detective to my left side.
He began talking;
“We have been investigating what was originally ruled as an accident but was actually the murder or your relations. Some of the evidence we gathered has led us to believe that we have a few more questions to ask. The evidence on ground shows that someone in your room (he pointed towards my uncle) during the vacation used their key card to leave the room during the middle of the night before the incident. So at this point, we are here to take you and your wife in for further questioning and continue to investigate the case”
My uncle looked on ahead; flat and unmoved like he saw all this coming and in many ways, he did. All my uncle said as the detective placed him under arrest was,
“Femi, find the truth.”
I was standing with Sam holding on to my left arm looking really sad. As the detective walked my uncle to the second living room, towards the main door. We heard the key, someone opening the door from the other side. It was my aunt.
“What is going on here?”
She asked with a confused look on her face. I began to try to explain and then she put her hand up as it to shut me up.
“Officer, you have the wrong person”
She said as dropped her bags on the floor and sat upright, her back up against the wall.
“I did it.”
Those were the first words out of her mouth in her seated position. I was shocked. Just like everyone in the room.She then went on a long confessional where everyone stopped and was silent in awe and disbelief.
“I am tired of all the lies and the sneaking around and playing dumb. Dele, I knew you were sleeping with my sister a full year before she died. After all we went through Dele, everything! My own sister?! Chai! Chai! Chai! Dele!!! There is God o.
Anyway, all those “research trips” you were taking out to Dallas when we still lived in California. I knew it was to sleep with her. And you left me with your kids. I was crushed. And my sister had always taken from me since we were kids. She always got all the men, all the boys that I liked, she had them because they thought she was prettier. She rejected one guy that wanted her and then he came to me. Of course I fell for him. I did everything for him. And then I got pregnant… 23 and pregnant. I could not keep the baby because I knew our father would kill me. So I devised a plan. It had come to my attention from one of my sister’s ex friends that she had damaged her womb and could not have children. So I suggested that she and I should run to the US from Nigeria and I would have the baby and give it to her. So she could call it her own…”
She paused as she was getting teary eyed. Everyone was still glued in their standing positions.
“Your “father”, her husband, never knew. She planned that part well and he always thought you were his. Femi, you are that child. You are my son…”
Those words cut through me. I felt like I was stabbed in my gut. There was no way. I felt winded and took a step back to reaffirm my stance. “What The FUCK MANNNN?”
She continued as my uncle’s face remained covered in calm. He knew all of this. My mother had told him.
“Femi, I brought you into this world and gave you to my sister because at the time, I knew I could not raise a son. I just couldn’t. And I knew she needed a child. I did that for my sister. I gave her the greatest gift one could; life. And she selfishly took away my happiness. Taking money from our business and giving it to the worthless piece of shit called a man here (she pointed at my uncle). I had silently watched the two of them play everyone like fools without saying anything but I couldn’t take it anymore. The night in Hawaii, we were drinking and I offered her something and she said no. She and my husband left the pool side for a while and I knew what they were off doing. I don’t know what came over me that night when I went and tampered with the brakes. I really didn’t want to kill them. I just wanted her to be scared off him from the trauma of a minor accident. The next morning when Dele tried to go and join them to go sightseeing, I stopped him because of the risk. He knew nothing at the time; only if anything.
My sister took from me after all I had given her. She was always taking from me. I had to take some power back. I am sorry I hurt her. I am sorry I hurt you. I am so sorry…”
She was now wailing, streams of tears rushed down her cheeks. The detective took the hand cuffs off my uncle and began reading the Miranda rights to my aunt as he began to cuff her. She didn’t fight back. She was sobbing and silent.
I was now in full flow of tears. Trying to process it all, I had my hands on my knees in a bent position and then I looked up and said,
“Did you know she was pregnant?”
My aunt’s eyes grew bigger and now she began to wail and cry.
“She was finally going to have one of her own and you took that away from her. The woman that raised me and an innocent man, you killed. You are evil and I never hope to see you again, I hope you rot and die behind bars. I will never forgive you!“
She was in full tears and really sobbing when she began to yell out,
“My stomach… My stomach…”
“She is lying!”
I yelled out as confusion broke out. The detective trying to make out the situation and my uncle attempting to help her, they both looked at me to help and I stepped back even further. I was not going to save her.
“You’re a doctor, aren’t you? You took an oath…”
The detective yelled out as they lay my aunt on the ground. I pointed to my uncle and told him to call 911. I held her head up and figured she was having a reaction to something in her stomach. I stabilized her as I heard the sirens of the ambulance. I stood up and walked away from her body as she was carried away and the detective followed. He asked Sam and my uncle to help and they headed to the hospital.
What just happened? I thought to myself. My mother had just confessed to killing the woman I had called mother all these years. I had been living a lie. I was the product of deceit. I was feeling crushed inside. And she had just been carried out for something that looked like a poison reaction. What was happening? My mind flashed and pieced it together. Sam!
She was in the medical field and would know the “right” compounds to fix or throw together to create something that could hurt my aunt. Shit!
I was sitting next to my aunt’s items and noticed her water bottle for her Herbalife smoothies. I opened it and sniffed it. I was right. It smelled of chemicals. The kind you would only spot if you were in the medical field.
“Why did Sam do this?”
“I’m the doctor though. When they pump her stomach and test it, they will think it was me and I have all the motive”
Fuck! I wanted to run but what was the point.
The house was empty and I felt just like I did on the evening of my parent’s funeral, only now I was alone. The feeling truly caught up to me. Tears streamed down my eyes for over a full hour. Why didn’t Sam stay with me? It made no sense.I heard a knock on the door. I looked up at the door and didn’t respond.Another knock and then the door opened. It was the detective and I had an idea of why he was there.
“Mr Femi Rilwan, you are under arrest for the attempted murder of…”
his voice tailed off as the tears slowly rolled down my face as he placed the handcuffs behind my back. I wasn’t even hearing what he was saying even though I knew he was talking. There was a hollow depth in my heart as my heart rate slowed dramatically. He walked me out of the house towards his waiting car. Opening the door, he bent my head as I sat in the back seat, I thought to myself. Through the web of lies, deceit, infidelity and pain that all the people involved went through with me, I never truly understood what it felt like to be a “home”. There I was in the back of the cop car in front of my own parent’s home; trapped in my own hands and this time for real, I had absolutely no one. And I could be going down for something I didn’t do. The detective was walking around the car when Sam walked up to him. She stood very close to him and said something. Something I still do not know till this day.
She walked around the car and he opened the door. She stretched out her hand and held my chin in her hand.
I stepped out the car and he removed the cuffs from my hand. I gave Sam a big hug and whispered to her.
“I love you.”
She didn’t respond. She just clutched me tighter as tears streamed down her eyes. He gently shook the cuffs in his hands. I looked down at his hands. Sigh.
Say it with me y’all…. “What The Heck Man!!!!!”
Fin! Wait! Wait! Wait! Hold on to that feeling and let me know how you felt about this series Empty. I’d love to know.
Also, NO ONE got the actual story I wanted to start running on the poll from next week but most wanted Secrets so much…. Sooooooo… I will be releasing Secrets Part 1, next Saturday. In the meantime, please listen to a preview if what to expect. And like always, please let me know what you think!
Fuck You by @adewus4real
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I sat in the living room in shock as Miriam, Sam’s best friend and Sam’s younger brother from the Air Force who was 4 years younger than her put their clothes on and headed out to the living room to join me. I felt like I was interrogating them. I was upset they were having sex on the sheets that Sam and I did things on but more upset that they had something going on and I was the last to find out. I had suspected something at his last visit to town but Sam had blown it off like it was nothing. She was always trying to protect her best friend like she wasn’t a “cougar” or something. Sam walked in a few minutes later and she and Miriam went to the kitchen. I heard them giggling and laughing as she replayed the look on my face when I walked in. I was so heated but I made time to give Jude a fist bump for scoring a girl like Miriam. She was a woman! In every sense of the word. That was all I was allowed to say before my “NSCDC Chairman” cut me.
Sam and I left them in the house and went into my car as we laughed off the incident. This was the woman I loved but I still didn’t feel completely connected to her. I remember the night I told her I was feeling disconnected because I felt like she was too busy with other things and had become detached from me. She tried to kiss me and I kissed back but I soon pulled away and told her I wasn’t happy with everything. We both promised to do better and be there more for each other. We sat outside her house till 4am in the morning just talking about everything. At various points in the conversation we both got upset and it just showed how much we cared about each other and wanted to make it work. I loved this woman and I got sick to my stomach at the thought of her waking up next to someone else. I couldn’t live with it.
I was having an okay day at work the next day, making my rounds from floor to floor and checking in with my patients. I missed having Sam here with me. Working together and sneaking around having sex all over the hospital. I hated the change but I liked the happiness it brought her even if it had taken us away from each other. I was walking to another meeting when her text came through,
“What time are you off babe?”
I smiled thinking she just wanted to stop by and get some of my dick. I responded,
“In an hour babe”
“Don’t eat dinner babe. I’ll be there once I get off. I’m treating you tonight.”
I had never heard those words come out of the mouth of a Nigerian woman. I was shocked and turned on. Sam cooking for me happened to always do that to me, I was excited.
True to her word, she showed up at my house. I was busy playing a round of Call of Duty trying to relax when she arrived. I darted to the door and back to my room, planting a quick kiss on her lips as I ran back to make sure I wasn’t killed in my game.
She stayed in the kitchen killing it all kinds of ways; sweet potato fries, chicken, rice, beans and PLANTAINS!!!! I passed out for a quick second while I met Jesus. She knew the way to my heart. I came into the kitchen and stood by the door watching her while she cooked. She was beyond sexy. Waltzing her way from sink to stove and back, it felt like I was falling in love again. All I wanted now was to just eat her up. Well her famous lasagna first and then all of her.
I walked up and tried to kiss her. She smacked my hand out of the way and said while rubbing my grumbling stomach,
“Babe, I’m going to feed you real good and then I am going to fuck you till you’re tired”
I felt a tingle down my back as I clutched my legs tighter as my dick rose. Fuck! She got me.
About twenty minutes later the food was done and I have to say, it was one of the best she had ever made. I could not believe it. We lay in bed cuddling next to each other when she began to touch me. I knew what she wanted. The food was spicy and I was there drinking flavored water trying to avoid the spice. I should have brushed my teeth because I wanted to feast on her pink but she wouldn’t let me. She wouldn’t let me do anything.
She got up and pulled my pants down taking all of me inside her mouth. I felt a slight burn. We had obviously eaten the same food and my member was burning and ready to tap out. But I had to be a real one and stay true. The heat slowly began to reduce as she slobbered on my shaft from the tip to the base. Stroking my balls as she went along I was starting to twitch. The spice had gotten into the opening at the head of my shaft and now the burn was truly coming but it was too late to stop her now. She was dripping wet already. I lay there on my back while she took off her panties. Squatting she slowly lowered herself onto my hard upward pointing member. My curved package slowly became covered in her wetness as the burn continued. She didn’t seem fazed by it as we proceeded. I could feel her juices begin to drink onto my sack as she twisted and turned, slowly grinding her pussy on my dick.
I couldn’t contain it. She was wet. It was hot. Hotter than usual because I was burning and I knew I had to end this fast but she wouldn’t let me. She placed her knees down next to my legs. Backing me, she put her hands around my ankles and began twerking her soft ass on me. Up and down she went like a freak trying to blow my mind. I knew this woman. She was the one that made me hit the falsetto for the first time in my life while she worked magic. I grabbed her hands and tried to dictate the pace. She stopped, turned slowly and looked at me and said,
“Don’t touch me.”
with all determination, focus and whatever else was included. I felt like I bust my seed at that moment. The room had gotten 10 times hotter. A woman that knew how to take control and had the body and know how to do so? Did I hear someone say a celebratory “Yes Lawd!” ?! Well hope the big man upstairs forgives all of YOU.
She seemed to care about my body but angry at my member. She rode me dirty like a cow girl riding into battle, the battle of the cattle. I knew myself and I knew I was about to cum. I was trying to hold it but she wasn’t letting me touch her and she was so wet. It was so hot and she looked so fucking sexy! I knew it. I just knew it. The way she worked, I pushed her up and in my pumping of my shaft, spurted out all of my seed into the air and all over my arm. She got up and dissatisfied, knelt down next to me and took my now softening member into her mouth. Stroking it back to life, she cleaned up the entire area and mopped it all up. I wanted to scream. I tried to push her off me but I couldn’t. She had me.
I finally gave up and let the pleasure course through me from my mid-range to the hairs at the back of my neck. I lay there like a beaten fighter as she cleaned up the corners of her mouth and headed into the bathroom.
You’re allowed to laugh at me as I woke up the next day when she was about to leave for work; she had knocked me.
. . . . . .
My party promoter friend, Edward, called to tell me that he was throwing a big reunion party in California for the July Celebration that year and he invited me to it. I had asked Sam to come with me, as she had never been to California before. I promised it’ll be fun. A three day weekend for an African reunion, he called in #ARC2014. It actually was pretty cool. The party was live like all his parties were and I had been going to his parties since early days in college and now he was big fish in the party business. We partied hard till four in the morning.
The next morning, I was out at brunch with my friends having a great time laughing at the funniest things. Sam was off at the hotel catching up on some more sleep. She was a lightweight partier. I remember the DJ from the night before was also with us at the restaurant. Even as a group of young black professionals sat in a primarily white restaurant filled with white people, we made all the noise possible. Trust black people to “light” up wherever they go.
I can’t remember what was said but I know someone got offended about something. I burst out laughing and knocked over a cup of water while trying to contain my laughter. It was too funny. I noticed I spilled some juice on my shirt so I got up and headed to the bathroom to clean it off. I was in the bathroom standing in front of the mirror with a piece of paper towel in dipped in water. I began patting the juice off my shirt and a few minutes later the stain gone. I decided to pee afterwards and when I was done I returned to the sink to wash my hands. I was drying off my hands when my phone buzzed. I ignored it and headed back to the table with my friends. They were still laughing about something and I soon enough joined the “laugh show” again. The waitress soon came to take our orders and it was when she was done that I grabbed my phone. It was that moment where everyone at the table hopped on their phones to read messages and all. I responded to Sam’s message asking if we were still there and that she was coming to join us. I asked if she wanted to eat and she said that she just wanted a smoothie. I opened the email I had just received. The subject heading read,
“REOPENING A.R CASE”
I knew those initials; they were my dad’s but I didn’t know what it meant. I gathered from reading down the email that a detective from the precinct where my parents had their accident had reopened the case and wanted to get some information from me as well as updating me on the new developments. The case had been reopened based on an anonymous tip that the car my parents were driving might have been tampered with.
I was a little concerned because I had waited so long to finally get over the incident and the entire trauma and now it was all coming back to me. I was also in some ways relieved because I always felt like there was so much that wasn’t clear back then… a lot of unanswered questions regarding the whole incident. I was nervous.
A friend of mine asked what I was reading; I questioned why she wanted to know and she said it’s because the look on my face changed. I lied and said it was nothing. This wasn’t anything. This was huge. I took down the detective’s number from the email and I remember asking my friends on the table if calling Hawaii was long distance. They all responded that it was part of the US so I should be fine. I was going to call him. I knew I had to but I started to get this sick feeling in my stomach. I wasn’t sure if I was ready for whatever he had to say. I looked down at my eggs on my plate. Scrambled; that’s exactly how my heart was feeling.
. . . . .
Am I Wrong – Nico & Vinz
I returned to Florida distracted with a heavy heart. I was not ready to be back but I wanted to get the ball rolling and figure out what the email from the detective was about. I wanted to contact him before I returned to work. I hadn’t told Sam about it yet because I knew she would try to stop me from digging deeper into my parent’s passing. The last time I tried, it felt like I lost myself in there.
My conversations with the detective were as enlightening and just as confusing in the same breath. I was still trying to make sense of everything, the news, the thoughts and the uncertainty. It had been over a year since their death and I was now grieving again. We had been talking on the phone and emailing back and forth. The insurance company for the rental organization that my parents had rented the car from were adamant that the blame for the failed brakes shouldn’t have been on them. Especially since the accident happened on the third day of the vacation. They sent the car, a 2011 Toyota Camry, back to the factory to be inspected by them and their team. The results came back as inconclusive because the brakes did not seem to have been affected by normal wear and tear. The detective eventually enlisted the help of an expert who gave his view in stating that he felt like the brakes had been cut physically by someone.
Bells in my head began ringing… I wanted to know everything! For the longest time I had suspected my aunt, I felt like she had something to do with it. Women always had something to do with it I thought to myself. I sat there in my room trying to figure out the motive.
“Why would anyone want to hurt my parents?”
I thought to myself.
It made no sense but I was going to make sense of it. One thing was now certain… The incident was no longer ruled as an accident. It had been proven that someone definitely tampered with the brakes and I was going to find out who it was. The detective already said he was coming down to interview my uncle and aunt again as they were on the vacation with my parents. I was going to dig into things in a different way.
I called the accountant for my mom’s company and asked for all the account details and reports. I was going to find out if this whole thing was financially related because money can also easily break families.
A few days later the accountant responded to my message with two emails. The first included all the information that I had asked for. From account balances to tax information to write offs, everything was there in a secure file. The second email had the password to open the initial file with directions of how to read the files or at least make sense of the whole thing. I put some spaghetti in the cooker and put my spaghetti sauce in the microwave. I returned to my bedroom and began digging into the files. What I found finally began to give me some direction around what was happening.
Within the last 2 years, there had been lump sums transferred to an account in my uncle’s name. I sat up straight and looked closer at the screen while taking notes of every transaction. I could feel myself sweating.
“Was it my uncle?”
“Why were there transfers to my uncle’s account?”
Going further I began to realize that there was a pattern to the transfers, they mostly happened when my mother was out of town on her business trips or trips to visit her sister in Dallas.
“Did my aunt never notice the transfers?”
After, all they were business partners. But I realized that it was my mother that was in charge of the financial aspect of things while my aunt did most of the leg work. I continued to question things without having all the answers. My palms sweaty as my fat fingers ran over the mouse pad and the keyboard. The money transfers never exceeded seven thousand dollars. I needed to find out what was going on because it was also evident that the business was bleeding. Not entirely because of the transfers but mostly because of the consistent lack of income in the company.
I pulled my mother’s company credit card records and began to scan through. Everything seemed like regular transactions till I noticed two airline ticket transactions and one for a doctor’s visit.
I took a step back and I stared at the screen. I looked crazy. My reddened eyes were now sore. I had just scanned through years of bank and credit card statements, transactions and tax returns. I walked out on to the balcony to get some fresh air. I was tired. There were empty bottles of water that I’d drank littering the side of the table. I looked like a crazy person searching for the truth in the black and with numbers that seemed like nothings. I returned to my seat, took a deep breath and continued. I was not sure about the doctor’s transaction. I clicked on it for details and nothing came up. I knew that no hospital would give me details off another’s person’s information over the phone. I scratched my head and thought about how to go about this. The two airline ticket transactions could be cleared up easy. All I had to do was go through my mother’s email and I was sure I would find the flight details.
All my senses were heightened and I had not responded to any messages particularly ignoring Sam’s during the four hours I had been sitting at the computer and that’s when it happened. In my crazy state I remembered all my mother’s files that she usually scanned quarterly into her LifeGuardian account. It was an online data protection account that stored all your information in the event that data on your computer or something was completely lost.
I knew her password because I was basically her assistant for years when she first started her business. Helping and answering all her questions over the phone from thousands of miles away. I clicked over to the website and logged in. It took a few minutes but I found the receipt of that doctors visit (she logged every receipt for tax reasons as a business owner). It was for some lab work and a scan.
“Was she sick?”
“Was she hiding an ailment from my dad?”
I dug further and searched for any correspondence from doctors. I typed “doctors” into the search box and right then it came up. The hospital was in Waco, Texas a little over an hour outside Dallas, Texas and I wondered immediately why my mother was having tests outside the family doctor which she had been using for over seven years. It didn’t add up.
I looked for more information and found nothing. I was starting to get angry because I didn’t find what I wanted or what I thought I would find. And then it dawned on me to check her emails. All the things scanned in here were from paper origins meaning they were sent to the house, a house where the mail was picked up by two people; my dad and my mom. If she was trying to hide something from my dad, she would never have had it sent to the house. I logged into her personal email account. My parents had a separate shared one for family and joint things. I searched the hospital name and 4 emails came up. Two from a doctor and two from my mother to the same address; I opened the first one that read “Results” in the subject heading.
Reading carefully, it was written saying that the person tested was basically 2 months pregnant. Her response was to ask if the doctor was sure. The next email was a response from the doctor confirming that they had run the test again and they were sure the person was pregnant. I covered my mouth in shock.
“Was my mother pregnant?”
I began to process and if so, why was she hiding it from my father. Why didn’t she tell me?
Her final response sounded happier, thanking the doctor for his help and maintaining confidentiality. My eyes grew big. It still made no sense what the transfers to my uncle were about. I clicked the search box and typed in the name of the airline. Flight reservations popped up. 3 of them in total
I clicked them and opened them up…
There the two paid for with my mom’s credit card. They were both for my uncle and 8 months apart. My heart was racing now. Out of my chest it was pounding as if it wanted to burst out. The last one was paid for with my mom’s debit card and was sandwiched between those two trips. I looked at the dates. The date of the second trip my uncle made to Dallas was for 4 days, Thursday through Sunday. My mother’s appointment with the doctor was on that Friday.
“No no no no NOOOOOOOO!!!!!”
I yelled out loud. No fucking way!
My mind had to be playing games with me. This was not happening. This was not happening right now. God no!
I had to talk to someone. I sat down on the floor and dialed Sam’s number.
I didn’t even give her a chance to speak, I spoke first and blurted out,
“My mother was pregnant when she was in that accident and I think my uncle was the father…”
Sam stayed silent for a few seconds and then she said,
“What The Heck….”
Man, what happens next???? Don’t we all wanna know… Welp. LOL! I swear I love y’all. Soooo here’s the deal, there’s a poll below this is how you can exclusively read Empty Part 4 AND get a preview to my next series.. Take the poll and pick an answer. Put your answer in the comment section along with your feelings/comments about this story. If you get the answer right, I will send you Empty Part 4 five days before it is due to be released. Thank you and goodluck!!!!
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