Follow the writer on Twitter @adewus4real #WhatTheHeckMan

“That would be $9.57”

She said to me as she looked back at my milkshake that was filing up on the machine.  I fished for change to complete my order and gave it to her. They knew me here and that was my regular order; 6 McChicken’s and a large strawberry shake. I walked out into the chilly Fremont weather and hopped on my bike.  California was not described as this cold but here we were. Balancing the milkshake in my right hand and my bag of hot McChicken’s in my left, I began peddling home. My knees ached. It was all the weight I had put on; 65lbs to be exact. Welcome to America, I was told.

I finally tucked myself in bed after navigating through my father and his girlfriend and whilst hiding my food, they had issues with my diet but I wasn’t listening to it. It was my money and I would spend it how I wanted. I made sure all the lights in the room were turned off while I switched on my dad’s DVD player and started up Hilary Swank’s movie “Boy’s Don’t Cry” that I had stopped by the local Blockbuster video store to pick up. I had to watch this movie for my Film studies class. Freshman year struggles with no laptop or hope to wait for one as my father had told me I had to earn it.  I was hoping to get it for my 18th birthday, which was in about 3 months.

I finished my food and struggled to stay awake to finish the movie, I failed.

It was only 1pm and I was already tired and ready to be out of campus but there was no way for me to that especially when I had class at 3:30pm. I was trying to take a nap in the library when I felt a tap on my shoulder. With a combination of an irritated and surprised look, I turned around. At first I thought someone was waking me up because I was snoring but right there was a beautiful white lady. She must have been about 22 or 23.

“Hey, sorry to wake you but do you have a calculator by any chance? I have homework to turn in and I’m stuck but also without a calculator”

I began to get less angry and I said

“What class is it for?”


She responded with curiosity like I shouldn’t care.

“I have a calculator”

I continued

“But do you mind if I take a look? I’m pretty good at math”

I offered


S.O.S – Yung L

She said with some relief. Her assignment was a piece of cake. She was not a great math student but she was a fantastic photographer.  Her name was Shay and I would become her “math tutor” for the remainder of the semester working with her on assignments and prepping for exams. It reminded me a lot of my time back in Nigeria.

My father had sent me back to finish my secondary school education after a summer where he had previously told me I would be staying in California living with him. It was tough to go back, but I still had friends there and I was going to a new school so it was a fresh start and freedom for me.

I spent 3 years in Nigeria alone while I secretly felt like my father sent me to Nigeria because of the lady he was dating at the time. I was fine with it because I thought he would break up with her soon and he was sending me good money to take care of myself back then.

I graduated as one of the best and youngest students in my school at the time and I was looking forward to going to a university in Nigeria. It was a surprise when my aunt told me that my father wanted me to come to America to attend college. It was mixed feelings all over as I was leaving independence and control to basically become a “second class citizen”. I was born in Virginia where my mother and my father lived for many years until my mother passed away. I reckon the environment was too overwhelming for him to remain in, so we packed our bags and moved over to the sunshine in the Golden State; California.

I was a great student but I struggled with confidence as I worried about my accent and my age. I was one of the younger students in the class and I think my academic performances were not always appreciated by some of my classmates who thought that I was intimidating and such.

Shay understood that and tried to be as helpful as possible. She encouraged me to be confident in myself as our friendship grew. One evening, I had stayed after class to speak to a professor and lost track of time. I was a few minutes late to the bus stop and I missed my bus. My father was out of town till late that evening, so I began to walk home. It was going to be about an hour walking and about a mile into my walk; I heard a honk behind me. I turned around and it was Shay. She asked to give me a ride home, which I gladly accepted. That evening we spent about two hours outside my house talking about various things and I even got a chance to tell her what my name Jide stood for. Like most people I told about the meaning of my full name, Babajide, she was captivated and excited to hear many of the stories I had to share about my time and growing up in Nigeria.

Shay and I would get closer and closer till it lead to sex. Some of the greatest things I learned about women, I learned from Shay. It was not hard to break up when we did. We were never truly together and we knew why we messed with each other to begin with.  She needed a cheap tutor and I needed a mentor. Every young man or woman needs an older mentor at some point early on. 

.     .     .     .     .     .

After Shay, my eyes were opened. I knew what I expected in a woman and what she had to have. If she didn’t have it, it was not going to fly. I had been searching for what she would like with no success. Turning down various “potential” women for various reasons. I remember this girl Ogechi that wanted to be with me.  We had gone on a few good dates but it just didn’t feel right. I wasn’t sure that we would last through difficult times. Fundamentally, our values and outlook on certain things did not align. She seemed to care about shoes more than people and focused on spending all her money on vain things. I was a homebody and I wanted cook in dates with cuddling and just sharing each other’s company. She wanted to be out and about, being the talk of the town. It was only a matter of time before we began to drift apart.

One day we attempted to spend time together, the date was set and then she hit me up saying there was a party and she would rather have us meet there. I got the message loud and clear. Like a man after one thing only, I needed some sex so I went. And the craziest thing happened, she never showed up. I found out later that she had been seeing this party promoter in town. He was the type of guy she wanted; flashy and out there.  He was the total opposite of me.

I was extremely let down that night at the party but that was the night my luck turned. I met Arewa, an English major who was finishing up her degree and looking to change careers into Youth Advocacy. This young woman charmed me. She had a good head on her shoulders; her smile was captivating even in her 5’4 frame. And she was beautifully endowed from head to toe. I think God created her on his off day. Like he had a brilliant idea and he just had to go into the office and viola! She was made.  I had to play it cool all night, as I didn’t want her to see how much I was /into her. That night we talked for hours. Leaving the party at one point and staying outside seating on the back of her white two door Saturn while we chatted away.  We exchanged numbers after two guys fighting over some girl prematurely ended the party. Africans right?

I couldn’t stop thinking about her that night as I lay in bed. So after having a full blown conversation with my mind, I texted her

Me: 2:47am: Hey, this is Jide from earlier in the night. I couldn’t stop thinking about you so I decided to text. I hope that’s not too forward?

Arewa: 2:48am: Hey! No, it’s not! Would it be weird if I told you that I was just thinking about you too? 🙈

I couldn’t stop smiling as I jumped up in my bed and fist pumped into the sky like I had won an Olympic medal. I called her shortly afterwards and we talked till she had to get ready to leave the home. She was volunteering at this free clinic called Mani on that Saturday morning. I swear she was perfect.

Those phone calls became more frequent and the dates piled up as we drew closer to each other. One day, she texted me and asked me to drive out with her.  I asked her where to. She said she was going to drop off something for her father at his job. He was a prison warden. Well paid but his job was in the middle of nowhere. It was on that long drive that we decide to exclusively explore growth and potentially a relationship.  We arrived at her father’s job and she went inside while I stayed in the car. I was terrified that he would walk outside with her or something but he didn’t. We returned home and continued to grow. I began to get really drawn into everything about her. Whenever she wasn’t around, I would yearn for her. When she was at school, which was 8hrs away, I would itch to be with her or around her. She was all I could think of.

Always On My Mind – Nosa

.     .      .     .     .     .

I was on this wave of love. It’s hard to explain. I just felt really in tune with her and I wanted to show her. I only had $18 in my account so I asked my sister for $2 and I drove to the bank and deposited the $2 I had just acquired and pulled out a $20 at the atm. I remember the teller looking at me really weird as I deposited an amount so little. I tried not making eye contact. I drove to the nearby grocery store and purchased one bottle of Apple Cider (it looked like a wine bottle and was all I could afford), two strawberry scented candles, a small tub of Dreyer’s ice-cream, chicken and a few tomatoes, bell pepper and one onion. Everything added to the rice and plantains I had brought from home was under about $15 dollars and the rest of my change I put towards gas in my car. It was barely anything, just over the reserve line in the car. I headed out towards her apartment asking her roommate who was going to be gone for the weekend to please leave the key under the mat. When I arrived, no one was there and I had about 2 hours to prep before she got out of work at the school gym. The food was done about an hour and half in, so I hopped in the shower and as I was drying off myself, I heard her car pull up. I quickly put my clothes on and sat on the couch. A few minutes later carrying her backpack and all her other items, she stumbled into the living room. I remember verbally alerting her than I was in there before she opened the door so she would not attempt to pepper spray me. She had one of those on her phone and every woman should have one of those pepper spray things on her for safety.


She said with a huge smile on her face

“I could have sworn that I saw your car downstairs. Did you cook?”

I nodded, planting a kiss soft kiss on her forehead and giving her a hug.  She dumped all her belongings on the couch and headed for the kitchen, I redirected her by blocking her path and forcing her to go straight into the shower. She could touch the food after she was done.

I laid out the table and poured out two glasses of the cider. Serving the food, I always had to make sure that my plantain was more than hers. Don’t ask me why, I just had to.

When she emerged from the room, her skin glowed. Covered in her cocoa butter lotion, it was extremely inviting. I gave her one of those savage looks I used to flash her as she walked around in her blue short shorts. Licking my lips, my eyes closed slightly as I zoned into my target. She would always giggle and joke about how she didn’t want me to look at her that way but she knew that she secretly loved it; just as much as her kitty wanted me to pet her.

Dinner was great. One of the best you could make under $15. Years later the talk of the town would be $200 dates. I realized how far from the basics our generation drifted. We sat next to each other still at the dining table finishing up our ice cream. My thinking was “I just ate spicy food and I really want to feast her out. This ice cream will cancel out the pepper”. I sat there rolling each spoon of ice cream around my mouth to ensure that it was covering every inch of my mouth and eliminating the pepper. She was looking at me like I was crazy and to be quite honest; I was looking at her plotting how to drive her crazy.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

She asked knowing what was about to happen. I ignored her question and began to lean in towards her. I moved her freshly braided hair to the left side of her face as I planted soft kisses around her cheek as I worked my way towards the back of her right ear. She was starting to squirm as she kicked her head backwards. My kisses continued warmly as I moved downwards toward her collarbone with my nostrils blowing hot air down her neck directing my path. I was now running my hand along the inner side of her thighs. My index finger playfully grazing her clit., she was moaning and telling me I was wrong for this. Like I actually gave a shit. I pushed her seat back and knelt down in front of her. Licking my lips, she knew exactly what was coming next. I pulled her shorts down and tossed them to my back and they landed on the dining table. Very slowly, my tongue began to lick around her now dripping chocolate factory and my dessert was not enough, so I certainly wanted more. I was lapping up her juices as I used both my hands to pull open her southern lips and I stuck my tongue in there. She clutched my head, which was now in her hands tighter and put both her legs on my back. The deeper I went into her, the harder she clutched my head. She was moaning loudly as her voice echoed in the empty room. I was ready to render my member to be a nuisance inside her. I slowly stood up, her juices smeared all over my beard. I ran my left index finger over it and put it in my mouth, it somehow sent chills down her spine. She stood on her feet and turned around. Presenting her perfectly sculpted butt to me, I slid in. Her wetness drowning my rock hard member inside her, I had to catch myself. It was easiest to slip up and cum right when you slide in. I clinched my ass cheeks together as I found my rhythm, in and out and I controlled my thrusts. She was moaning my name as I grabbed her waist on both ends and dominated her body with each stroke. She was clawing away at the table trying to find something to grip on. The height imbalance was getting to me. Arewa, wasn’t very tall and so with her bent over, I had to bend my knees to get a good position. So I mounted her on the dining table. It wobbled a bit. She was on the endowed side of things. Everything balanced out in the right places on her body with her rear being her most gifted area. It was hot. It was tight; I could feel every muscle gripping my shaft as I slid in and out. It was amazing. She was amazing. Her body was amazing and felt perfect in my hands. I knew I was about to let loose as I continued to thrust into her while she stroked her clit.

And right then with the vigorous motions, my thrusting and her shaking, it happened. The table tipped over. She hit the ground, while I yanked her backwards to avoid the table crashing on her foot. We laughed as I pulled her in. The kissing began again; we were going to finish the job.

Follow me on Twitter @ADEWUS4REAL

Don’t be a waste! Go and do it!!!

.   .   .    .   .   .

We had been dating for about a year now and things were going stronger by the day. Arewa was in town visiting for Spring break when she invited me over for a BBQ her father was hosting at their house. I felt like I was ready to meet her father. She had waited to introduce me to him till she was sure, I would stay around or I was serious.  Her mother was not the one to worry about she told me. I dressed smartly but I was nervous.

When I arrived at her house, Arewa in her usual manner talked to me and encouraged me to not worry and told me that her parents would love me. I walked into the house expecting to not come out alive. Her mother was extremely nice! She gave me a big hug and immediately set out to make me a plate of food. I was feeling loved. About 20minutes in, her father returned from a store run. We walked up to him and she introduced me

“Daddy, this is Jide I told you about”

“Oh! Young man, how are you? I have heard great things about you”

he said as he firmly shook my hand. Arewa was starting to smile in the corner of my eye as she was glad the interaction was going well

“Fine thank you sir”

I muttered while shaking and struggling to hold maintain my resolve.

“What’s your last name again?”

He continued

“Fayehun, sir”

I responded with confidence as if I was proud of my father’s name. He looked at me and a frown came across his face. He tried to hide it but I caught it early.

“Oh really?“

He said as he tried to cover his disappointment

“Well, enjoy the party. Okay?”

he said as he walked away. It was then I knew something was wrong. I looked at Arewa whose smile had faded now and was replaced by a look of surprise and somewhat shock. I couldn’t make any sense of it. I barely lasted another hour at the party before I left. I was confused.

Arewa would later find out that there had been a huge misunderstanding between both our fathers over the Presidency of the Fremont Association of Nigerians a few years back where it had gotten very close to punches being thrown at the meeting. To put it in all honesty, our fathers hated each other.

.    .    .    .    .    .

Both our fathers had told us to break up and not even consider being together any further but we clearly weren’t listening. Her mother liked me and secretly encouraged her to follow her heart. She was putting herself on the line by taking that stance; I adored that woman for believing in us.

One evening, I came over to her house because she told me her father was at work till 9pm and her mother was in Nigeria. He was not meant to be back till about 10pm. We were on the floor of her room as they had moved the bed out of her room in the process of converting it to a guest room. She laid a comforter on the floor and we lay there watching Grey’s Anatomy on her laptop. Sharing the headphones with one ear each, we lay there. One bud in my right ear and the other in her right ear, our legs entangled together. The moon rays snuck into the room through the blinds behind us. It was hot in the house we were both too lazy to open the blinds. The episode ended and we just lay there on our sides looking into each other’s eyes. This was love and I knew she loved me; no matter what anyone said.

I began to run my left hand on her right hand as she looked into my eyes; she knew what was coming as I drew her in closer. I began to kiss her soft lips as they spoke right back to me. It was nothing forced, just simple kisses that communicated the purest of emotions. It said, “I love you and I want you”. She turned onto her back while I towered over her. Continuing to kiss her, she began to take my pants off. It was getting hotter in the room by the second and I knew she wanted me inside her. I stopped for a second and looked down at her. She was just so beautiful to me. I pulled off my pants and proceeded to pull hers off. She lifted her butt off the ground so I could pull it off. She looked at me and said,

“you sure you want to do this? I don’t think you’re ready for this”

I knew what she was doing. She was just trying to rile me up. Trying to stir up motivation for me to do things to her. I smiled. And took her breast into my mouth, I bit on it. She smacked me hard on my back. I looked up and smiled.

She then proceeded to say

“Biting me won’t make me cum faster. You have to put that inside me to make me…”

I didn’t let her finish when I kissed her hard. I pulled her lips into mine and gently bit on her lower lip. I was riled up and now I was motivated to break her. I just wanted to make her moan my name like it was the only word that would give her breath. There was no feasting on her wetness, I just slid right in. The strokes were deep and hard, I maintained eye contact as she clutched the sheets. Her eyes rolling back into her head as I began to pick up the pace. There was a certain fierce look on my face as I panted hard with each pump

“Jide, slow down. Jide, Jide, you’re hitting my…”

she moaned away

“…myyyy spotttt!!!!”

she dug her left hand into my back pulling me into her. I was nowhere near my climax because I was determined to make sure her knees buckled and she could not walk out of there.

Turning her over, in our favorite position. She pleaded with me to take it easy. Take it easy? Did she not remember a few minutes prior when she practically told me that I would not be able to please her. I was furious and somewhat turned on. I knew it was just for the experience as she wanted to stoke the fire but I was mad. I slid into her holding her cheeks apart. I started off slowly and then once again, the pace was up. I was squeezing her by her waist as I thrust in and out. Her butt was rippling with each thrust and she began to wait

 “Jide, it’s too deep. Itsss tooo fuckinggggg deeeeppppp. Oh shit!!!!!”

I wasn’t having any of it. I continued to pound. Sweat dripping off my chin onto her back. I was going in and out faster than I had ever done before. I couldn’t understand why she wanted me to stop now. She wanted all of this and that’s what she was going to get. As I neared cumming, I slid my right hand around and began stroking her clit while I slid my member in and out of her. She began screaming

“I’m going to cum… Fuck! I’m goooinggg to cummm”

There it was, her knees locked as she squeezed in her butt and let out the loudest moan of the night. My ejaculation was only a few seconds after. And then we slumped, we were both drenched in sweat and panting. Trying to catch out breath to discuss what just happened, she put her hand on my chest and began talking.

Dr Kitch aka The Needle – Lord Kitchener

“Babe, that was amazing. Wow, did you get bigger?”

“Quiet babe, hold on”

I cut her short.

“Is that your dad?”

I asked hearing Nigerian music as a car parked in front of the house.

Her eyeballs grew large and so did mine.

“Shit babe!”

She said as she sat up.

I jumped up and scrambled to pick up my things. I immediately ran downstairs and headed towards the garage. Hiding in the garage behind the other car. They had two cars in the garage. I hid behind her mother’s car in my underwear only and socks on. What in the world? I was sitting there hoping that he would not come in and open the door and as if God was trying to punish me, I heard his voice approaching the garage door from inside the house.

He opened the door, I held my breath and then I heard begin to walk towards the car I was hiding behind. I was sweating again and it wasn’t the same kind from sex. This one was cold and dripping right down my forehead. And then he stopped and said

“Ewa, can you believe that I took the wrong key?”

He turned around and headed back into the house. I immediately got up and was dashing for the side door in the garage to let myself out when the door opened again. What The Heck Man?! I thought I heard him go into the house and he was heading upstairs for the keys. There I was standing in my underwear with my socks on looking like a fool committing adultery being hunted by the woman’s husband. I was screwed. I turned around and froze….

Cliffhanger? You want more? Haha!!! Go and leave a comment below and share this post. I promise PART 2 is coming! Leave a COMMENT OOOOOOO


The End.


Watch out for Part 2! 

Your feedback is super important to me. Let me know how you liked Mirage. I’d really appreciate it. Drop a comment or tweet at me.

Thank you ALL!!!!

Follow me on Twitter @ADEWUS4REAL



Stay Up!

Erotica · Fiction · Uncategorized

Amnesia 4

Amnesia 4


Follow the writer on Twitter @adewus4real #WhatTheHeckMan


Swim Good – Frank Ocean

It was hard to make out the emotions on her face for sure. She just stood there; shocked. It seemed like a mixture of disgust, sadness and anger. She looked at me like a child who was hell-bent on not fulfilling their potential and wanted to sabotage growth as much as possible. I saw the brief emotion of pain flash over her face. It was personal.

Her husband Darius had returned from the war in Afghanistan hurt and soon became addicted to anti depressants and pain killers. She had taken care of an addict close to her. It broke her and very quickly after, it shattered her home. He had been gone for 3 years now, she still had no kids, no clear direction of her love life. She was all alone after her husband had chosen to find solace in addictive substances instead of with her. He would sneak off and get high in motel rooms around the city and be gone for days on end without caring to contact her. She worried about him all the time and the risk of her losing him was torture for her. She had held on for as long as she could and then had to part ways with him. Even after the break up whenever he had an episode, she would run over to help. It took a while for her to finally break off from him but even then, he had robbed her of a part of her. More importantly, he stole the trust they built together.

She looked at me like I had betrayed her trust. She was right too. I had lived with her for many months now and I wasn’t talking to her about my true feelings. I wasn’t sharing my problems and struggles with her and didn’t mention when it all fell apart with Sally, I just broke down and never used her. In many ways I felt she was hurt because she wasn’t there for me.

Slowly she helped me onto my feet and into the bedroom. Now my body was in full effect. I was shaking and breaking into a cold sweat. The rest of the night was horrible as my body tried to resist this “evil” that returned to take over me. I barely slept that night and Juliet didn’t either. She was up most of the night coming into the living room to check on me frequently, I felt awful. I think it was about 4am when I finally passed out on the couch and that night has remained vivid in my head.

.    .     .     .     .     .

It had been a few weeks of doing nothing and there was a significant amount of boredom in my life as I juggled my time between applying for a new job, watching episodes of the Maury show and attending my group meetings for support. The group had been amazing welcoming me back with opened arms and my sponsor was now more involved than ever. The Maury show was the Maury show as young men and women came to embarrass the full existence of their parents on the show. The job hunt was the worst. Everywhere I applied to seemed to be a dead end until one day, I stumbled on a forwarded email from a distant friend about a potential job opening in a company he had connections in. I immediately applied.

A few days later, I got a response from the company asking me to come in for an interview. I quickly told Juliet who was happy but reserved. I was still in the process of rebuilding trust with her after the incident.

I was very nervous when I showed up for the interview. But I realized the interviewer was a lady and how I loved those. I practically charmed my way through the interview, answering her questions while remembering to flash my smile. I was confident. At the end of the interview, she looked up at me and said

“Andy, I definitely want to thank you for coming in for the interview. It was nice to chat with you…”

I already knew what was coming, I prepared myself for the worst but she continued,

“From what I have gathered from this interview and experience, you are over qualified for this position and it won’t be best served for this company if I offered you this job that someone more appropriate would be missing out on”

I was down. My heart sunk and I felt defeated and then she said,

“But there is an opening in our parent company that suits you perfectly. I would like to offer you that position.”

My eyes lit up!

“You will be in charge of branding and restructuring our newer acquisitions as the company expands and completes mergers. You have already interviewed with me and I would have had to do the other one too, so you don’t have to worry about re-interviewing. I’ll have HR send you the details as the pay is significantly higher than this position you came in for as is the workload. Look over it and get back to me with an answer by Thursday. Sound good?”

“Yes. Very much so! Thank you”

I said as I wrapped up and walked out. I finally caught a break. A huge one out of nowhere, I was stoked and ready for business.

.    .    .    .     .     .

I decided to go out that night to celebrate, so I hit up a bar. A few drinks and some dancing with my buddy Spencer and I was feeling good. The night was great and the ladies were swarming. I was a bit tipsy by the end of the night. Walking out of the bar with Spencer, I turned the corner as I walked my car when I heard a lady call out to me. I walked up to her and she said,


She was not my type of girl. Not the kind I would go for. Some would consider her “ratchet” but hey, she just wanted to have a conversation, right?

“Hey, what’s up”

I responded.

“I want to suck your dick”

She said bluntly and directly. I was taken aback and began to smile.

“What’s funny?”

She said

“Nothing. I just was caught off guard”

I responded

“He’s a wimp.”

She said to her friend in the passenger seat. They laughed together.

“It’s okay. You’re a weak one” she continued

I immediately got defensive.

“No I’m not” I chimed back.

She reached out and grabbed my package. As she jumped out of the car and in one swift motion she opened the back door and pushed me in. Pulling my pants down she reported to her friend in the front seat who was the lookout. Taking my hard member into her mouth, she began to suck; hard. I was still in shock. What the hell was going on?  My level of shock graduated to a new when her friend asked her to let her hop on that too. Her friend moved to the back seat and started on me while her friend was now the lookout. Wait? Let that sink in. I was having a blowjob threesome and I didn’t have to beg for it to happen. Can you beat that?

My luck was from another planet. I finally let loose in the mouth one of the girls; I can’t remember which one but it was amazing. They asked me to come back to their apartment with them but I declined politely. My moral compass might have been fucked up but it for sure was not that bad.

.    .    .    .    .    .

Thinking that my weekend was the best I had in a long time, it was fantastic to be starting my new job on Monday morning. I was thrown right into it as the firm was in the middle of closing a merger. My training was on the job and my formal training was to begin after the public holiday in two weeks. By the evening of that Monday, the merger was completed as we bought out this other company. I received the email on my phone on the train ride home.

It was not until the next morning when I showed up at work that I pieced together the company in question was the one I used to work at and I was in charge of restructuring the company. And yes, I was now Sally’s boss! It took me a minute to let that sink in. I was overwhelmed with happiness and a sense of revenge. And I wasn’t sure which way I was leaning.

It was only a matter of days before the news got to Sally that I was the new boss and she sent me a text message trying to reconnect.

Sally: 12:04pm: “Hey, Andy. How have you been? Congrats on your new job. I was just wondering if you were free sometime and wanted to catch up. Grab some lunch or something like old times. Let me know! XoXo”

I stared at the phone for a while before responding. It was cold direct and straight for the gut..

Andy: 12:43pm: “Hey Sally, thanks for the wishes but definitely a no on the lunch or any type of contact. Do your job like I know you can and we all stay in business. See you at the new management meeting next week.”

Call that message mean but I didn’t care, I had to make sure she knew we would never be cool. She cut me deep and caused me to relapse. I was not going to fire her but she dare not expect anything from me. No way.

A few of the managers I didn’t like were fired and I relocated all of Sally’s team at her company putting them in new departments and isolating her. It was only a few weeks in when she tendered her resignation letter with the request for a transfer for personal reasons. I think you call can imagine how I responded to that. Gladly accepted it!

That week ended on a high when I received a text from the Queen who said she was coming into town on June 22nd. I definitely could not stop buzzing as I moved out of Juliet’s into my new place; Audrey was coming home.

.    .    .    .    .    .

Audrey being back was just what I needed. The kind of man I am, I begin to hate the end of a vacation right when it starts because I knew it would have to come to an end at some point. I left work early that Friday evening and rushed home to change. I was about 30 minutes early and I remember sitting in my car in the parking lot trying to figure out how the night was going to go. Nervousness and excitement bundled into one. Some called those butterflies; I called them wanting to puke my insides out.

I finally walked up to her friend Nancy’s apartment and knocked on the door. I heard footsteps and then, she opened the door. Standing about 5 feet behind her was Nancy but I only saw her and she was beautiful. It was a simple outfit; blue heels, black pants and a grey blouse. She had her braids up in the most beautiful way I had seen them, they looked like a crown the way they sat gently on her shiny forehead.

“You look beautiful sweetie”

I said.

“Thank you”

She responded.

“I really like your scarf”

She added referring to the red scarf I had around my neck. That was big because she was always critical about my choice of clothes to wear until I put it all together and she saw what it looked like. Women, right?

I carried her weekend bag as we walked down the stairs and all I could do was walk behind and stare at her backside. Each step she took was like a Queen walking down the hallway. She was just elegantly poised. I was crippled by the beauty of this woman. In the car ride to dinner we talked about our times, my setbacks and my new job. She was filling me in on her life and how her younger sister was considering moving home to take care of their father while she moved again for work. It really was a beautiful night and it was one of the best I had experienced in a long time.

Dinner was amazing. It was at this Asian cuisine at a local chain of restaurants called F.A.T.S. All I could do all night was to stare into her eyes and marvel at how amazing she was. I reached across the table for her hand and looked into her eyes and said

She smiled at me and responded alike. My words said it but my heart wanted to yell it out at the top of my lungs. At one point at dinner she asked if I was seeing anyone and I said no. She had this hidden smile on her face that sort of reflected satisfaction as she knew she still had me. She kept fiddling with her infinity sign necklace around her neck while trying not to smile too hard. I began to wander about a future, we had gotten so close to being together once and it fell through, could it be great the second time? We had this amazing serving of Tiramisu for dessert as we snuggled up next to each other and laughed. It was perfect.

Heading out to the hotel I asked her to drop me off, she seemed confused but she did it anyways. I asked her to stop at the creamery down the street to pick up an apple creampie for me (This one is for you Twitter nasties)


I rushed into the hotel and poured the rose petals on the floor, dimmed the lights and turned the music on. There were candles all over the room, it was a similar look like the last time we were in a hotel together but this time around, I wanted out fireworks to burn the place before the candles did. She got up to the hotel room about twenty minutes later and I let her in. Audrey had already figured out what I was up to and apologized to me as she walked in. She said

“Baby, I have plans for you first. You might, emphasis on might be allowed to touch me later”

I was instantly turned on and taken aback. Excitement overruled all the other emotions as my member was at attention.

“You went all out I see”

She said pointing to the grapes, strawberries whip cream, baby oil and ice cubes sitting on the side table. I smiled back at her, curious to see what she was about to do to me. She asked me to lay on the bed and wait for her as she entered the bathroom. I had a feeling a show was coming on and I was right. She emerged from the bathroom about 5 minutes later with an overall coat on. She would soon drop the coat to reveal her corset, black stockings, a whip and black heels. I was even more turned on now. She walked over to the computer and a few seconds later changed the song.

Joe – Somebody Gotta Be On Top

She moved to the foot of the bed and slowly moved her body to the music sexually. Inviting me to come in and devour her. I slowly began to get up and moved towards her at the end of the bed. Very quickly she used the whip on my bare back and motioned her finger to tell me; no. I was not getting any of her until she was ready to let me. Like a defeated lion in a battle for territory, I slowly retreated and returned to my laying position on the bed and lay on my back. She continued her show as she turned around to show me her perfectly shaped ass. I wanted to bite it. I lay there trying hard to converse with my package, pleading with it to stay down and not embarrass me as it just wanted to stand upright. Audrey climbed on the bed and came on top of me, putting the whip in my mouth to stop me from talking she advised that if I tried to talk or touch her, she would bite me where it hurt. I gulped hard and nodded in submission. She was grinding on me for a short while and then she moved down. Keeping eye contact, she pulled off my briefs with her teeth; no hands. Now my erection was visible and right in front of her face, she smiled. Hard; like a lady does at the store when she runs into shoes she loves and they also happen to be 65% off. She looked at me like she was about to attack her prey and she went in.

Taking all of me into her mouth, I clutched the sheets and cussed under my breath. Her mouth was warm. I must confess, I wanted to explode right then but I held it in. Slowly, she worked her mouth on my shaft, keeping her hands behind her back. Up and down she slurped as pit flowed out of her mouth on my balls and she went after. I was on cloud nine. Clutching the sheets, I saw her get pleasure from watching me squirm. I wanted to jump up and grab her. She began to remove her panties, leaving her stockings on, she got up and rubbed the head of my member gently and slowly lowered herself onto it. She let out a soft moan as her wet juicebox got acquainted with my hard dick. Up and down she controlled the motions as she placed her hands on her thighs. Her breasts bounced up and down as she floated into her own world. There was a connection as the pleasure coursed through her and onto me. I felt her juices drip slowly down the bottom of my shaft onto my sack, I tried to place my hands on her bouncing breasts and she flashed me this glare. I retreated and continued to get ready to explode as the ride continued. She picked up the pace as if she was driving for me to explode inside her. I could feel it coming too! I had been holding it for a while, I snapped her off me and on to the bed.  She had this smirk on her face because she knew she had been dominating me, I hated it!

I walked over to the table and grabbed the grapes, and the whip cream. I returned to the bed and fed a few grapes to her. Shaking the can of whip cream, I sprayed it on her. Covering her breasts, down her navel and making the “V” sign directing me to her kitty. As she finished the grapes in her mouth, I stuffed her mouth with a few more and began to lick the whip cream off her body. Nibbling on her nipples, my tongue continued downwards towards her dripping juicebox. I couldn’t wait to taste it all. I stretched my arms to the side table and reached for the melting cup off ice cubes. I picked two, placing one on her belly button, it began to melt fast and I placed the other on my tongue. Slowly, I began kissing her lower lips. Her juices flowed onto my chin and over my nose as I worked my face into all her juices. I slowly slipped the ice cube into her. The contrasting effect as it melted and the heat emanating from her pink was amazing. The melting cube was flowing out onto my welcoming tongue as the cube on her stomach melted. It was cold and she had her tummy sucked in. I have never had her wet like this before. Reaching for the baby oil, I squirted it all over her chest. In circular motions, my hands rubbed the oil all over her body. Squeezing her breasts and rubbing her clit, I worked the oil to every inch of her. I continued to rub the oil on her as I turned her over. With her chest to the bed, I pulled her waist up and slowly slid into her. She grabbed the sheets and moaned. The lubrication was intense, it was wet and slippery. In and out, the oil, water and her juices mixed together provided the easiest ride into her juicebox. In and out I thrust, the mixed the sensation inside her was making me take it slow to avoid exploding, it seemed like she knew I was holding back so she began to rile me up.

“That’s all you’ve got? ”

She asked…

“Youuuu… haven’t seeeenn mmeee in months and this is all youuu cannn dooooo”

She moaned as I picked the pace up

“Fuck me like you want me to stay”

She moaned as I began to pound harder. My hands were slippery as the oil made it impossible to grab her fully. I clutched tighter and pounded harder, my balls slamming into her clit with every motion.

“Come on baby, fuck me. Cum for me baby, Come on! ”

She begged and growled. I couldn’t take it anymore. Exploding soon was inevitable and she knew it too. She poked her ass up just a bit more to give me deeper thrust, I pushed down on her waist as my hands slipped all over and

“Bam, bam, bam!”

I grunted as I let out a full load into her wanting box. My member was throbbing hard inside her. I pulled out of her and slumped next to her, ready to pass out after that workout when she reached up and took me into her mouth. With her left hand massaging my ball sack, she slurped on my member and  sucked out every last drop I had in me. I moaned in falsetto. Not proud to say it but Climax needed to be re-recorded once I was done. It was that good. I looked her with a mixture of disbelief and shock as she cleaned up her mouth with the back of her right hand.

“Thank you, Papi”

She leaned into say

“That was amazing”

She continued

“Sorry I went back for more. I couldn’t help it. I just needed to taste my juices off you”

I couldn’t smile but my package responded for me. I tried to hide it, in the mood she was in, she could have wanted more.

I blew out the candles as I walked behind her, stopping to call the front desk to request new sheets. I asked them to drop it in front of the door. We hopped in the shower to clean up. She got her way again in there. It was her way and her body caused me to respond accordingly. I was screwed; I definitely couldn’t let her go.

.    .    .    .     .     .

The rest of the weekend was fun as we went to the batting cages, the museum, shopping and I was even more convinced that I was in love with this woman. I had to keep her. We had just left the Mongolian BBQ restaurant on that Sunday when I asked Audrey where she saw her life in the next 3 years. She responded hopefully with the man I would spend the rest of my life with. I got this sense of nervousness and encouragement because I knew she loved me but I had never asked her if she was with someone. I learned very early on that a man would never put himself in a position to get burned.

We were taking a walk around Miwok Park where I was about to drop her at her friends place when I stopped talking. She was telling me a story about something and she noticed that I was not actively listening any longer; she turned to me and asked me what was going on.

“I’m sorry sweetie; I just have a lot on my mind”

I said.

“Talk to me babe”

She said with the look on her face that asked me to confide in her


I started,

“I have wanted and contemplated how much I needed you for a long time. I was not 100% sure till this weekend. This weekend showed me that I needed to make you mine. I still have a lot of work to do but I need you in my life. I don’t know how everything will work out but I don’t want to be with anyone else but you.”

I breathed a sigh of relief as I told her everything. She looked at me like she was glad I told her and placed her hand on my shoulder.

“Andy, I love you. I truly do…”

She began,

“But I don’t think you’re ready. I don’t think you’re where you want to be and I can’t knowingly put myself in a position to get hurt. I can’t. Let’s just take it slow and see where it goes”

I told her I understood even though I know I didn’t. I was heartbroken. This was the second time that she turned me down. Why? I tried to stay strong for the evening and I hugged her tight before I left not knowing when next I was bound to see her again. Let down, I drove home. Confused, I felt all alone.

.     .    .     .     .     .

The next morning, I wasn’t sure what to feel. I knew her flight was that evening and being a public holiday, I had no work to sink my teeth in. I lay at home watching Disney channel like real men do and watched the hours go by till it was time for her flight to leave. Somehow, I wished she would stay. I wished she would not leave me again. It was an hour to her flight and I couldn’t sit within myself. I was hoping for a miracle; that she’ll change her mind and decide to stay with me. But nothing happened.

I got into my car and drove up to the shoreline. Standing outside my car overlooking my favorite spot, I looked out into the world and wondered what had become. This time I was hurt but not broken. I was hurt but strong enough to not relapse again. But I wanted her. Hell, I need her! And a few minutes from now, she would be gone.

I stood on the big rock and thought to myself about how far, I had come in the last year. I had seen many ups and down and I had come through it all. Who would have thought right? I just felt I had done so much yet I felt so empty. Cars kept driving slowly on this isolated shoreline road as I drifted farther into my thoughts

“I remember the night we came out here to watch the stars. It was magical”

A soft voice said approaching me from behind. It was Audrey.

“I let you go once because someone else got to you first. I won’t let you go again because the next one might not be stupid enough to let you go. You’re mine.”

She continued with my head still stationed ahead.

I had the biggest smile on my face, it had been a rollercoaster year of pain, sadness, happiness, sex, friendships, betrayals and love. I turned back around and there was my Amnesia moment, she was all I wanted and needed and I remembered nothing else.

“How did you know I would be here?”

I asked

“This has always been your spot”

She responded.

She was right. This was where I always came to be free. I walked straight towards her and she jokingly said #WhatTheHeckMan I thought you were going to turn me down for a second. I planted a kiss on her forehead as I wrapped my hands around her and looked into her eyes,

“Never again”

I said…

“Never again” And I knew it too. She was everything I ever needed.

Sym19 – God Sent


 I write these because I love to create new things but I also love to see people have fun from it. Help me pick my next story below and PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT HERE to let me know how you liked or hated this story. I truly appreciate you all. Follow me on Twitter @ADEWUS4REAL

Thank you for reading Amnesia 4. I truly appreciate all of you that started reading when I had no viewers and those that just started. Thank you ALL. PLEASE CONTINUE TO BE AWESOME AND SHARE THESE STORIES WITH YOUR FRIENDS and FOES.


Stay Up!


Amnesia 3

Amnesia 3


Picture for story purposes only. @adewus4real #WhatTheHeckMan

Nina Simone- Do I Move You


What happens if I can’t be the man you need?” I asked.

Do I move you?” I continued.

She turned to her right side and placed her soft left hand on my right cheek, looking searchingly into my eyes as if to make sure I believed every word she said. She started,

Andrew, I love you and I want to be with you. I have known I have wanted you for the longest. You are what I want…”

My heart melted as I closed my eyes as she ran her hand through my freshly trimmed hair. I leaned in and planted a kiss on her lips and then another on her forehead. This is what I wanted. I had needed to feel this kind of love. The type that makes a man secure within his body and at home with his insecurities. I knew Audrey made me feel safe. The connection we had shared for years was phenomenal. In many ways I always felt like she completed me but I was never ready to admit it.

.   .   .   .   .

Everything was starting to gel and then the unthinkable happened. Audrey’s mother who had been terminally ill passed away and her father had now taken ill too. Audrey had to move back home across the country to take care of him. My support system was gone. Talking on the phone and Skype was not the same and sooner rather than later, it was hard to keep up. Working, taking care of her father and then me, it was all too much for her. I was the one that got dropped. Audrey was also dealing with her own bouts of depression and guilt in feeling like she let her parents down by globetrotting the world for her career. She never really stayed around to give back to them for all they did for her.

When I returned from the funeral, I spiraled out of control. More drinking, more smoking and hardly going into work. It was no surprise to me when I walked in one day after missing two days of work that my manager called me into his office and sat me down. He said,

“Andrew, you are one of the best brains in the business but your head hasn’t been here since the tragedy. Top management wanted me to fire you based on your performance but I’m not going to do that. Instead, I’ll report on the file that it was due to reallocation of resources. I’m doing this so you can tap into the unemployment package. I wouldn’t want you to be hung out to dry…”

I appreciated JC (my manager) for letting me know and I wasn’t that upset to be frank; I half expected it to happen. My performance had been mediocre at best. I was punching at 54%. Being dismissed should have been a wakeup call but it wasn’t. I was burning through my savings faster than I could imagine. Alcohol and meth were not cheap. Suppressing my depression was even more expensive. I just wanted to drown all the pain but sooner than I realized my account was in pain.

I knew I needed to start looking for another job but I had to get clean first, I was low. My cousin after numerous attempts finally convinced me to go to a group from recovering substance abusers. Reluctantly, this particular Tuesday, I went. It was in a shady neighborhood. The GPS decided as always to give up the ghost a few blocks down from the location so I was not entirely sure where I was going. I knew I had come this far for a reason, I needed change and more importantly, I needed help. The sun had firmly tucked itself away behind some of the tall skyscrapers far north of my location. There was a man behind me impatiently waiting for me to find my location and parking so that he could get to his appointment.

“Come on!” he yelled out of his car window.

The guy hurriedly sped off as I found a parking spot and tucked my car into it. Looking around the neighborhood, I didn’t feel comfortable with my surroundings so I moved all my belongings into the glove compartment and locked it up. Tucking my keys into my coat jacket, I scanned myself from top to bottom to make sure that I was looking well. I was already going to this place to seek help; I did not want to be showing up looking like a bum also.

I hate public recognition or attention. I thought I was going to sneak into the meeting without anyone noticing my entry. Those dreams were dashed pretty early as I entered the room. The lady running the group saw me walking in from the back of the room and smiled. Majority of the group was sitting in a circle and backing me, her smile caused them all to turn and see who it was. I kept my walking pace and found myself sitting down. I looked around the group attempting a weak smile with the few people I made eye contact with. I was slightly nervous but their warm faces made it possible to feel a bit more comfortable. The person who was talking had just finished up and the Chairperson looked at me and said;

Hi, and welcome to Pickleweed’s support group. We normally share our struggles and a bit about ourselves but you don’t have to share anything today if you don’t want to. Once again… welcome!”

I nodded back as she gave room for a brief moment of silence as if to invite me to speak up.

“My name is Andrew” I started…

“Hi Andrew” Everyone responded in call- response fashion.

I am here to get help and support. I feel like I have hit rock bottom and I need help…

Everyone nodded like they knew my struggle and over the course of time, I would understand why most of the people in the room that day nodded. They knew what my journey was like; they were either into or currently traveling through theirs like I was. I spent a lot of that session just listening to other members express their issues and watched how the staff and other people in the group helped each person explore ideas on how to deal with their problems. I was shy… very shy. I just wanted to sit in the back of the room to be honest and observe which was what I did throughout most of the session.

For many weeks, I would sit like that trying to figure out when I would be able to share something or contribute. One evening, I walked in after a hectic day of looking for a job. I sat there with my head down; pondering and listening as others discussed things. I’m still not sure where I got the courage to start speaking but I there I was opening up to these people.

“My name is Andrew…”

Without waiting for response, I put my hand up in a motion to prevent them from responding.

“I have been using alcohol and methamphetamine to drown my pain since I lost my family. An unborn baby at childbirth and her mother left me a few months later…”

I stopped briefly to hold the tears, as all the emotions seemed to flow to my eyes at that moment.

“I also recently lost my job as a result of my new addiction.”

I continued, “Listening to you all for the last few months, I have come to realize why I drink and why I use meth. I feel insecure in my body and feel that my mental state needs to be altered to prevent me from having to deal with all the pain. I just wanted to share it with someone going through it, talk to people or be around people. It has certainly helped me a lot. Thank you all.”

I raised my head to make sure they all saw the sincerity in my eyes while I continued to fight back the tears. I was immensely grateful for this group. It had been a long process but I felt like I was finally on my way to getting back on the right track. I had been clean for 3months; not a single drink or single hit.

.   .   .   .   .   .

My friend Helen had put me in touch with this job opening. I was skeptical because although it was in a field similar to mine, it wasn’t anything I was comfortable in but I needed work. I had burned through all my savings and sleeping on my cousin Juliet’s couch hasn’t been the most welcoming feeling for a man like myself. She was family but my pride was getting in the way. I wasn’t contributing as much as I wanted to and I felt like I was being a burden even though she never said I was and tried to make me feel as comfortable as possible.

Being the type of person that I am, I don’t know how to ask for help and hate feeling like I’m inconveniencing anyone. I think more than anything, it was the guy she was seeing that was mad at me. Since I stayed there, he had only been allowed over twice and hadn’t spent the night at all. It was interesting to watch but I couldn’t help but laugh on the inside. I kept trying to get him to realize that we weren’t competing against each other, she’s my blood… but oh well!

I was up late the night before my exam. This job had a placement exam. My proficiency on certain management theories was to be evaluated. I had been studying all night listening to music on the number one African online radio station that an old friend had put me on. There was something about African music that I really connected to. The struggles and perseverance of the legend Fela was something I could relate too. I had also heard of some “new school” guys. It was 24 hour non-stop music and I loved it. There was a chat room on the website where people just logged on and talked about everything. That was a welcome break from studying too. There was this beautiful lady that caught my eye on there. She had been up all night studying; wearing this white shirt with a big red heart across the face. I was captivated by her voice and how interested in what I was doing she seemed. She asked me questions about me and it was nice to have someone new to meet and talk to since Audrey was still upset with me. It was about 4am and a few of us were still on the chat room listening to music and studying or doing whatever else. There was an engineer working off like 5 computer screens preparing for a presentation a few hours later. It was motivating. I felt like I could do it, all these people like me; all working hard to be better. I was pumped and then out of nowhere, a random dude logged into the chat room, turned his video on and began stroking his penis on camera for the rest of us to see. Everyone squealed out in shock, he was duly blocked and reported as spam but as we all laughed it off, I knew I needed a better life. I had to get this job! The struggle life was not made for me.

.   .   .   .   .   .

My first week at my new job was amazing. Everyone was very welcoming and it seemed like I was finally finding my feet. The staff that I was in charge of helped me stay grounded and together. I was pushing for great things and I knew that no matter how hard it got, the hardest part being the exam had been conquered.

My supervising manager was great. She had a welcoming smile and always seemed to go the extra mile in ensuring that I was well adjusted. We had weekly supervision meetings where we would talk about the staff that I was supervising and better ways to manage the staff. Over time we became comfortable with each other. Sharing personal information duly followed. We became what I would sometimes have called “friends”. She even invited me over to her house for a personal dinner she was hosting for some friends.

The chemistry was becoming evident with personal jokes at the office, stealing smiles and taking our lunch breaks together. I had to have the conversation with myself and ask “was I starting to like her as more than a friend?” I tried to suppress my growing feelings for her but it wasn’t working. One bright Friday afternoon she came into the office looking dressed to kill. Her sunglasses covering her beautiful brown eyes, her hair flowed to her back as she carted across the hall in her pencil skirt supported by stunning blue heels. I was talking, coming from the other end of the hallway walking towards her… we made eye contact and both flashed a sly smile. Mine was saying “Damn! You look great” and hers in response as if to say, “Yes I know”. She walked into her office and stood at her desk sorting through her mail and newspapers. Glancing up, our eyes met now as her glasses had come off. She smiled but I tried to hide. I had been staring.

I couldn’t focus throughout the day and I knew why. Sally was running through my mind. Those legs, those eyes, her lips… I found myself wanting all of her! It was about 3:30pm when she walked into my office. She shut the door behind her, closing the blinds she smiled as she walked towards me. I leaned back in my chair with a smile on my face. She came around the desk while pushing my seat back; she sat on my lap and planted her full red lips on mine. I closed my eyes as I took her in. Her lips felt like new silk sheets, my lips pursed open as her tongue searched the cavity of my mouth. My heart was racing, we were about the same age but this was my boss; my superior. She placed her right hand behind my head as she pressed her full breasts unto my chest. Leaning back I ensured that she felt comfortable as I continued to kiss her. Breaking the kiss, she leaned away from me and smiled. My lips were covered in bold red lipstick. She got up, looked at me as she straightened out her clothes. She then leaned in and whispered in my ear,

Next time when you want something, just ask and don’t wait around till you miss out on it” and then she walked out.

I was in shock. I wasn’t sure whether I was supposed to feel violated or excited for things. I could not wait for the day to be over. I picked up a napkin and cleaned off the lipstick on my lips. Wow! I thought to myself. What was happening?

.   .   .   .   .   .

I locked the door behind me as I invaded her office. This was my turn…She had woken up the sleeping giant! I walked around the desk and flipped the chair. I told her it was about to be her turn to be blown away. Down to my knees I dropped, I slid my hand up her thighs as she stayed glued in her seat. Reaching her waist, I pulled her lace panties down and flung them behind me. She lifted herself up to pull up her skirt. Spreading her legs apart, I planted kisses around the insides of her thighs working my way home. I could taste her wetness as my lips gently met her lower lips. The one way exchange of fluid as my tongue siphoned all of her juices into my mouth was driving her insane. With her legs on my shoulders and her hands on my head, I worked my way around her clit. Her hair, full and luscious was now all over the place as the pleasure coursed through her veins driving her insane. I kept working my tongue on her wetness powering it from left to right at an uncontrollable speed while my hand reached into my back pocket to pull out the condom. Not breaking a motion, I slipped it on and got up.

“It’s huge! Weren’t you going to let me taste it?” She asked looking like I cheated her out of a fine deal.

“Maybe some other time”

I replied with a smile as I stretched my hand out to her. I picked her up and bent her over the desk. Her skirt now rumpled up and firmly around her waist. With her heels on she was about 5 inches taller and perfectly placed for my hard member to explore the depths of her. I slowly slid into her tight wetness. She didn’t gasp but let out a slow welcoming moan as my manhood responded by getting a bit harder. The strokes were slow and controlled as she looked back at me. My knees felt weak. The sight of her wanting me to “own” her was a massive turn on. An element of dominating your superior was also at play. The pace picked up as she started kicking back to me… As I thrust deeper and deeper, her moans were getting louder. I was pounding harder now.

“Andy… Andy… Yesss…. Keeping doing that! Harder!!!”

She scratched the desk looking for a hold and moaned as I grabbed her waist and smacked my pelvis on her ass. Her ass was amazing. This woman was as dedicated with her work as she was with her body. I was giving it to her with precision and she was taking me as her ass rippled back to me with each thrust. The climax beckoned as she moved her left hand to play with her clit and grab my balls as I continued to pound hard. A few minutes later it was grunt after grunt as I unloaded my seed. I pulled out of her and gently took off the condom to put my clothes on. She looked at me and smiled, it was not a genuine smile. It looked cheeky but evil at the same time. I wasn’t sure why.

“That was great. We should do that again sometime…” I said.

“It was but that was a mistake. It shouldn’t have happened”

I was confused. This woman was just moaning the shit out of my name a few minutes ago and now this was a mistake? She said nothing further as I put my clothes on to leave. I was really confused and fearing for the worst. Did I just get played?

.   .   .   .   .   .


The weekend was rough. I couldn’t help but think that something bad was going to happen. I tried to stay positive. I went to the gym that Saturday morning and to get some food with a friend. I took a long walk on a trail behind the house. Even the beautiful view couldn’t help me stop thinking about the smile on her when I walked out of her office. I picked up my phone and texted her on Sunday afternoon;

Me (11:38am): Hey you

Sally (2:04pm): Hey, I’m good.

       (2:05pm): I’m out at the moment. I’ll text you later.

She was blowing me off. I was more freaked out than I needed to be. Why was she being like this? Was the sex awful? I thought of every reason possible but I couldn’t figure it out. I wanted to find out why right then. I was tempted in my frustration to go out and get a drink. I held it together and turned in for the night early.

The next day I arrived at work earlier than usual. I was in my office working when she walked in; she looked at me flashing me a smile and stopped to ask how my weekend was. I smiled. I was feeling a little bit better. Work continued to go smoothly and then I got an intercom call from Sally asking me to please come to her office. I felt a tingle in between my legs as this was said. I finished up the email I was working on and I walked out my office and headed for hers. I opened her door and I noticed her sitting behind her desk and the human resources manager sitting in the chair across from her. She looked up and asked me to take a seat which I did.

Twenty five minutes later, I was walking out of the office; stunned. She had basically just fired me because I was not the right fit for the job they hired me for. I couldn’t believe it but in some ways I could. Sally looked right at me and let me go. 72 hours prior, she was moaning my name and now she was letting me go? I felt like I had been punched in the gut. I walked into my office and waited a little after 4pm to begin packing my things. I exited the building an hour later. Walking to my car, I was fuming and confused. I sat in my car for about an hour just trying to process what had just happened. I had fought and worked so hard to get this job and I all of a sudden I was now being dismissed? I felt like she played me. I felt played! Slowly the thoughts began to creep into my head, I wanted to sniff or hit some Meth. I could smell it. I wanted it. I was going to get it!

I called my old dealer. He was just as shocked to hear I wanted it again. I swung by “my guy” and picked up the stuff. He along with a voice in my head kept telling me not to do it, to remember how far I’d come and how long I had stayed clean for. I was so angry with the world that I kept repressing those better thoughts and his advice. I arrived at home and headed straight to the bathroom. Pulling off my shirt, I closed the bathroom door and sat on the closed toilet seat. Cigarette in hand and all my utensils lay out on the edge of the sink. I tied my black tie to round my right bicep prepping for my shot there. I had one last thought to stop as the voice of reasoning snuck in one last time. I ignored it.

I called my sponsor to see if he could talk me out of it, knowing well that he would be at work and not be able answer his phone. True to that, he didn’t answer the phone. I took it as a sign from above to go ahead.

Hit one…

Sniff. Sniff…

I could hear the music playing in the background.

I was starting to climb through the clouds. I was feeling good again.

Eyes batting, I laid down on the cold bathroom floor. All the thoughts began flooding my head. This was it… This was that feeling…

Feeling Good by Nina Simone


My phone started ringing… I was too high to want to get up.

A short while later I heard the front door open, it was my cousin letting herself in.

“Shit!” I cursed quietly….

I didn’t want her to see me like this. I was starting to try to clean up. Opening up the window slightly. I rushed to pack things up. I was using the towel to fan the smoke out of the bathroom. I was now sweating profusely, my body reacting to the things I had ingested. It had been so long, I was getting dizzy. I sat back down and held my head in my left hand. A few minutes and my cousin was calling out my name seemingly from smelling the smoke. She pulled open the bathroom door and there I sat, looking and her as she stared at me in disbelief….

She opened her mouth to talk but no words came out. I knew I was fucked… It looked like she wanted to scream… #WhatTheHeckMan

The story has finished for this part! Oya LEAVE ME A COMMENT BELOW! LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK. Stop trying to be waist! lol. DO IT!!!! 

What do you think happens next? Leave me a comment or tweet at me. @ADEWUS4REAL

Look out for the concluding Part 4

Thank you!

Follow me on Twitter @ADEWUS4REAL and look out for new updates and material


 Stay Up!


Amnesia 2

Amnesia 2


 @adewus4real #WhatTheHeckMan

I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me… like I was going to die. This could not be happening. The doctor held onto me as I began sobbing like a little baby. I was distraught. The doctor explained to me that there had been some complications and the baby was putting Lindsey’s life at risk.

Why?“ … Why did this have to happen?” I asked looking to God.

I was wailing like my whole world was crushed when the janitor walked into the room and helped the doctor lift my wailing and embarrassing self off the ground. This was unfair!

I truly could not believe my ears. I’m pretty sure I cried for about 3 days straight and Lindsey even longer.  It was heartbreaking. All our hopes and dreams; gone. I questioned God. I questioned life. I questioned the strength our love. That was the time when we needed each other the most but that was the time we failed.

It all began when I noticed that she had been in contact with the father of the child; a former friend of mine. With our growing apart, she was seeking solace somewhere else. Was it my fault that I couldn’t get over what had happened? It was date after date. Late nights and no texts back. Smelling like another man’s cologne when she returned home in the early hours of the morning. She would come in and curl up next to me. We would still have sex but it was just sex. There was no love between us. Slowly I began to hate her. God was not answering my questions and I needed someone to hate and so I turned all my hate to Lindsey. It was her fault. She had sex with someone else. This was supposed to be someone else’s cross to carry and not mine. I did not set foot into the nursery we had prepared for the baby for almost 2 months. I was deteriorating; and crashing fast.

Alcohol was only one of my poisons and it was affecting every aspect of my life; from work to relationships to extended family. I was depressed and just wanted to be away from Lindsey at all times. I truly hated her because every time I looked at her, I imagined what the baby would have looked like. I just wanted to die. Therapy was ordered by my job and we went for the first few sessions and then I gave up on it. I was not motivated to force myself to get over the pain. Lindsey let go faster than I did and I hated her even more for that.

Meth burning through my pockets faster than it was taking to cook. I remember one evening when I was out by the water where I normally go to clear my head. I was so high and I just sat there… alone and helpless. I don’t know where the thoughts came from and I want to stand by them not being hallucinations but I began to take my clothes off. It was only after a passerby asked me what I was doing that I realized that I had been standing stark naked overlooking the water. What was happening to me?


.   .   .   .   .

It had been three months since we lost our baby girl. I was still not over it. I think there was a part of me as a man that wanted to stand for something. Something bigger than me and being the best father I could be was the start to that. Religiously, every Friday night, I would go to the park where I had hoped to take my baby girl. Clutching the one blouse I bought her in my hand, I would imagine what could have been until tears flooded my eyes or until I got drunk; whichever came first.


One night, I returned home fairly tipsy after a few drinks at the bar down the street from my house. Walking in, I heard Lindsey on the phone. I ignored her and stumbled my way up the stairs into the room. I was laying face up on the bed staring at the ceiling fan. Slowly I began to get dizzy… I closed my eyes. Deep breathe in; I’m not even sure if I exhaled. I could feel sleep begin to overtake me.

I heard Lindsey walk into the room to make sure I was asleep, but I wasn’t. With my eyes closed and my heart rate significantly lower, I understand why someone would have thought I wasn’t awake. I could hear her talking to her friend; not sure which gossipy one it was but they were talking about a man. It only took a few more lines to piece together that she was talking about Devin, the same fucking guy that got her pregnant. Putting it all together, I deducted that he had been over at the house earlier. She was talking about how much of a good kisser he was and how he was a gentleman for not going further and trying to take it to the “next level”.

I was fuming now. In my drunken stupor, I got off the bed and charged at her in the living room. Snatching the phone and throwing it in one sweeping motion, I broke it on the wall. She was livid. She glared at me in anger and shock for a good minute and then got up and walked out without muttering a word. I was still angry. I tried to follow her into the room but she had locked the door. The couch was my bed that night. I woke up in the middle of the night flooded with regret, anger and confusion.

“Was she moving on to someone else?”

“How could she?”

I wasn’t ready for all of this. I was going to attempt to talk to her the next day. I turned over and looked at the broken phone in the corner of the room. It looked like a shiny new toy that was now useless and broken like it belonged to a petulant kid who felt they were more than they really were. It was small and had landed in the corner near the bathroom door. It was never going to amount to anything. My eyes grew heavy and they batted slowly. Sleep had arrived.

.   .   .   .   .

“This is just a friendly reminder that your Comcast bill is overdue. Please contact us to avoid disconnection…”

That was the voicemail off the answering machine tailed off as I poured myself a cup of coffee. My head was pounding in my hands. My eyes were heavy. I was clearly hung over. Lindsey was gone when I woke up. Her things were still here so I’m guessing she wasn’t gone for good.

I looked at the time; it was 11:28am. If this was a Saturday, it would have made sense but it wasn’t. Tuesday morning and I was here at home with a hangover and absolutely no motivation or fucks to give. Days like this where I missed work were becoming the norm. I slumped into the couch, turned on the television and began watching the typically annoying court shows.

I looked at myself. A progressive programmer slumped in my couch like a bum with no direction in life catching ICDC college commercials. It began to depress me. I got up and went to the bedroom to pick up my phone.

16 unread text messages, the two most important ones read;

Lindsey: Received 8:03am


Audrey: Received 9:46am

Guess who’s back?! I’m in town. We need to ‘connect’ J ”

I smiled after reading the second message. Audrey was the one I had wanted to be with before I got back with Lindsey but she had gone to Thailand to volunteer for a few years so it never really took off. There was an obvious connection and physical attraction between us, but she respected the fact that I was with someone so she kept it low-key. I wasn’t technically single so I wasn’t too hyped about doing anything. It did cross my mind though. Exploring things with Audrey that is…

“Welcome back! And yes we should hangout sometime.”

I wrote back to her carefully avoiding her subtle invitation for sex.

The conversations went on for a few more weeks without me really trying to push for anything. We had gone to the movies once and met at a mutual friends birthday dinner but nothing happened.  One Sunday evening I returned home from visiting a friend in a neighboring city. It was late and Lindsey wasn’t home. I was settling in and preparing for the next day when I realized that I hadn’t washed the shirt I was planning on wearing the next day. I rushed to throw it in the washer but I noticed some other clothes were in there. I took them out and placed them on the dryer right next to me. I put my shirt and a few other items in and started the wash. I opened the dryer to throw in the damp clothes only to find some clothes in there as well. I pulled them out and moved them out of the way. In motion I realized that they were men’s clothes. More importantly they were not mine… And I was talking men’s undergarments! I somehow already knew what was going on. I dropped them in the empty hamper and reached for my phone. I texted Lindsey to find out what had happened with Devin

Me: Was he here?

Lindsey: Yes

Me: Did you have sex with him?

Her response was delayed but the torn condom wrappers in the bathroom already answered the question. It was done.

Her response came in as my phone buzzed,

Lindsey: “Yes. I’m sorry”

It was a slow double break of my heart. I sat on the toilet seat and cried. I had just lost my best friend; again.

.   .   .   .   .

 Audrey was my release. She was the ‘new’ that I needed. Completely taking my mind of Lindsey who I hadn’t heard from or spoken to since the day she came to my house with Devin to pack out all her things. It was amicable. And I was ready to move on.

Audrey and I had been going great and the heat between us was building. So this fateful evening, it was going to happen. We had dinner at my favourite family restaurant downtown. We talked, laughed and headed uptown for the rest of the night. I gave her a soft kiss on the cheek and said “Zina Street” along with the name of the hotel. As we had both come from work we drove separately. We arrived at the hotel only a few minutes apart and I asked her to wait for me in her car while I went in.

I’d called the hotel about 2 hours prior to quickly book a suite. I lied to them that I had forgotten my anniversary and was in dire need to save the night. Who doesn’t love helping a love story? The ladies at the front desk were very helpful. I told them her name and asked that they send her up to the room when she walked in. The ladies seemed so happy to be part of a great thing. I ran up to the room and set it up. Candles were lit; the bottle of wine placed was placed in ice while I filled up the bathtub with water and bubbles. With slow jazz now playing in the background, I texted her to come up.

A few minutes later she was outside the door. I asked her to keep her eyes closed which she did. Slowly I led her into the room and put her bags down. I gently kissed her soft lips as my tongue waited patiently for its moment to explore. She kissed me back. Her lips were soft like the fresh warm middle of a muffin right out of the oven. I wanted more. I gently pulled her in and kissed her deeply. My tongue searching the insides of her mouth as her tongue responded in navigating my cavity. I slowly began to take her clothes off. Moments later she was completely naked. I fought the urge to devour her welcoming body; I failed. Taking in her breasts one in each hand, I kissed her neck down to her collarbone. I could hear the moans as I led her into the bathroom. I whispered in her ears,

Open your eyes

Gently she did as she was taken aback by the room illuminated only by candles. She was beaming and with a sly smile on her face she began to take my clothes off. Gently we stepped into the hot water in the tub filled with scented bubbles working in tandem with the candles. On top of my package she sat looking into my eyes. No words said… We just kissed and held each other tight. It felt like she was taking all of me as I opened my body to take her into me. The water was a little hot but the heat between was definitely more than I had felt in a while. The way she kissed me was like someone trying to explain their feelings, in a short time, all at once. For a minute we broke the kiss and I looked into her eyes before gently sliding into her. The pace was slow. It was the type of time one could say “I made love.”

Our eyes did most of the talking as our bodies glued in the mid-sized tub. I could feel the water seeping between our thighs as I thrust in and out of her wet cream pie. It was nothing like I had felt before. This felt like a communication of the body with eyes and other parties. Shortly after the party was over, we sat in the tub as I washed her down and she did the same, with a few kisses occasionally breaking our bathing session. Her body was gorgeous. From her silky flowing black hair to her bulky calves that folded on my lap. I wanted all of her. I was not sure if I wanted all of her because I just wanted something new but I was sure that I wanted to be everything to her and more. Slowly we stepped out of the tub and dried off. Climbing into the bed more sex would follow till we passed out. I had never been ridden like that by any woman in my life. She had a way of making her ass control the pulse in my hard member. Speeding it up till I was about to cum but making sure that I lasted long enough for her to get off. She was great! I turned over to her as we finished our glasses of wine and said,


 Leave a comment below. Do it! Don’t be wack! Like #WhatThe…. Lol you know the rest.

Please drop a comment and let me know how you like Amnesia. Enough responses and I might preview the next story early. J

Look out for Part 3

Thank you!

Follow me on Twitter @ADEWUS4REAL and look out for new updates and material


Till you read again. Ask the next guy/gal, #WhatTheHeckMan

Stay Up!