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Amnesia

Amnesia

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                              @adewus4real #WhatTheHeckMan

“There!”

I said as I placed my hands on my head and scanned the newly decorated living room of my new place. It had finally come together. I slumped into a sitting position in the corner of the room. Looking out of the window as the sun rays squeezed into the room through the blinds.  This had been a process. Not just the setting up of the place but the gathering of my life together again.

I looked at my keys sitting on the coffee table in the middle of the room. I got up and reached for them. Out the door I went as I trudged to the mailbox. Opening it, I gathered all the mail for the week and headed back. Mortgage payments, credit cards and even a wedding hall deposit payment. These were my regulars. I was paying for a wedding and I wasn’t even…. Never mind.

 

For the past 3 months, I had been living with my cousin; Juliet. I moved out of my home during one of the craziest periods of my life. I opened mail after mail, setting and marking the corresponding bill to a due date on the calendar next to my door cabinet. I sat down on the couch, laptop to my right and some urgent bills in hand. I turned on the sound system; Pandora was playing my “Smooth Jazz” channel. I opened up my laptop and placed it on my lap. It was a $382 bill for the hall.  This was my eighth bill; one every month for the past eight. I glanced at my fingers. No wedding ring. A slow heat of rage was building within me, I was getting angry. Why was I paying for a hall and I wasn’t getting married? Well it’s a long story.

I picked up my keys and headed out the door, I needed some air. My angry fumes were threatening to burn my place down.

.   .   .   .    .

 Lindsey and I met when I was a freshman in college. She was one too. She went to a prestigious university and I was at a community college nearby after transferring over from Nigeria. I was still trying to settle down and find my way when I was introduced to her through a friend of a friend. I thought she was stuck up for whatever reason. I think it was because she was really beautiful, smart and I was somewhat intimidated by her. She grew up here and I was this fresh of the boat African lad, who was mostly mute with the fear of embarrassing myself if I ever opened my mouth. Even though she went to a different school and all, we always seemed to be around each other with our friends. Slowly, we got close. I remember knowing for months that I liked her and I wasn’t sure how to tell her. There were some awkward moments where I thought she would have known that I liked her.

One time, she walked in on my friend and I arguing about the women we hung out with and I was vehemently defending her. She pretended not to have heard anything. She would later tell me years after that the passion I showed in defending her was attractive and one of the reasons we ended up together.

After about 6 months, I began to notice a change in her attitude towards me. She was texting back; faster and initiating conversations. I was not sure what to feel but I really liked it. That summer, she came to my school to take summer classes since they were cheaper at mine than at her school. I think this was where it all built up into something. I would see her almost everyday and since I had no way of getting around, she was my chauffeur. She did everything with a smile. The way she carried herself was just a joy to watch and be around.

 

One afternoon, she picked me up and drove me to her apartment. The plan was to rent a movie and watch a film while we ate. For whatever reason, we were both tired by the time we reached her apartment. She jumped into the bed and asked to take a nap and that we could watch the movie when she wakes up. I hopped in the bed next to her and just laid there. I can’t remember exactly what we were talking about but I know she said something amusing. To my recollection it was some sort of funny slight at me. I began tickling her from behind. She was on the bed facing the wall whilst I had my back to the door. Tickling her she laughed and asked me to stop but I didn’t. Tickling led to gently biting her back and behind her neck, laughing turned to moaning and then I turned her over and got on top of her. I planted a kiss on her lips and we kissed. It was wet and passionate. I had wanted that for so long and for it to finally happen was just pleasing and scary at the same time. Not breaking the kiss, I began to run my hands all over her and then all of a sudden, she jumped up and said,

 

“I have to leave, I have to leave now. I can’t do this!” and then she ran off.

 

I was confused and extremely turned on. I remember telling myself, I don’t care what the outcome was because at least she now knew I had feelings for her. It was the most awkward drive home. I could not wait to get into my house and under my sheets. I was so embarrassed. She had said nothing about the “incident” and I was more worried about her never talking to me again. She dropped me off and did not call for 3 days. In that time I had wanted to die. I thought my whole world had collapsed around me. This woman had my heart and she didn’t even know it yet.

She would finally call me and start by going off on me. And then she slipped this line in there;

“Why didn’t you just tell me?”

 I was shocked and kind of happy. I told her I wasn’t sure if she’d felt the same way hence my holding back. She just teased me and then we joked about it. Over the next few weeks, we made our relationship official.

I always wanted to be with her and around her. It was new love, real love. I remember the night we first had sex. It was at her parent’s house. One of the popular ladies in town had thrown a massive/an elaborate party. The whole community was there so her parent’s home was empty. We snuck out of the party and headed to her there. Nervous, we got into the room and she asked me to lie on the bed on my back. I did and then she handcuffed me to both bedposts and told me not to move. She then went further and blindfolded me. I was terrified. To make matters worse, she’d left a blindfolded and naked me on the bed while she was in the other room, doing something I cannot remember. My mind was wandering.

“What if someone came in? What if this was all a trap and her friends were about to walk in and beat me up?”

All sorts of crazy things flew through my head and then she came back. Sade’s “No Ordinary Love” was now playing in the background as she climbed on the bed. Kissing me down my chest towards my excited package, I was trying to hold it together. Good first impressions during sex are extremely important. I was still blindfolded when I felt something super cold all over my stomach! I was startled and then I realized that it was whipped cream. She was licking it off me as she made her way down to my now hard six-inch member. I was nervous as she took it into her mouth. She sucked like she was new to it too. I couldn’t wait to be out of there. I was beyond myself and out of my skin.

She stopped. I heard her tear open a wrapper and then I felt the cold rubber feeling on top of my package as she slid the condom into position. Asking me to take the blindfold off after removing the cuffs, it was clear to me how beautiful she was. Naked, her dark chocolate skin glowed as her bright smile lit up the room. All of a sudden I was calmer and happy. I was slightly shaking  as I slid into her. It was tight; very tight! It was her first time and I had to be gentle. With slow movements, we warmed up. I remember being so worried about giving her a good time, I forgot to ensure that I didn’t ruin the entire party, which is exactly what I did. The actual intercourse between us lasted about 3 minutes and it was over. Those three minutes though would be the stamp to the beginning of the rest of our lives.

 

I looked up and realized that I had walked almost a mile away from my house to the waterfront. I pushed an empty shopping cart out of my way and I took a seat on a bench by the waterside and drifted back into my thoughts. Memories were dictating me, back into my mind they carried me…

.   .   .   .   .

It was 4 months after I graduated from college that we broke up; Lindsey and I. For whatever reason, it seemed like we had run our course. Things were not the same. Arguments were more frequent and lasted longer. We seemed to love each other but could not be bothered to care holistically about the other anymore and so she eventually broke it off. There was a 3 month period that we did not talk for. One night I hit her up, missing her obviously. I wanted her back in my life. I was not exactly sure why but I knew for a fact that I needed her. She would return and it was date after date, reconnecting our lives and then one night about three and a half weeks into us talking again, she dropped the bombshell.  She was pregnant and she was 75% sure it wasn’t mine.

 

I had been mad, angry, heartbroken and sad. She was supposed to have my babies and not someone else’s. “How could she do this?” I asked myself many times. She broke up with me and then chose to sleep with someone else. I wanted to hate her for it but I couldn’t because I truly loved her.

So I absolutely cut her off. The way I worked back then, if something made me uncomfortable in the slightest way, I removed it from my life and that what I did with her. I just couldn’t believe it. She wanted to get back with me too and that why she sent her best friend to come and talk to me. I really hated that conversation because it tested my resolve and I did not want her friends to see that I still loved her. But I did. I really did.

I think what made it even more difficult for me to swallow was the fact that I knew who the father of the child was.  It was someone that was supposed to be a friend of mine. I once heard somewhere that these “heauxs ain’t loyal” but these fellas are just as bad; maybe even worse.

There are some decisions that should be made solely with your heart or head. I wasn’t sure which part came up with the genius plan but I asked her to move in with me. I rented a two-bedroom apartment and paid for a full year’s worth of rent. It was going to be our home. We were going to raise our kid with love. I was willing to father that child like it was mine because their mother meant the world to me. I was sure we would be amazing parents, as we already loved each other.

 

I remember the night we moved in. The whole week leading up to that day, she had stopped me from having any physical contact with her. It was about 6pm and we were both tired from moving things into our new place. She was wearing her blue short shorts that I liked; the one with her booty hanging out of it. I just wanted her… all of her! I crept into the room as she lay on the bed. Her face was settled into a pillow as she complained about being really tired. I started kissing her calves up to the back of her thighs. She didn’t move but I could hear her muffle words asking me what I was doing. I continued and pulled her shorts down. Still no movement and then I placed my index finger on her clitoris while I moved my head to the back of her neck and gently began kissing her. My finger worked in a side-to-side motion as I continued to kiss her. I turned her over and locked lips with hers. My finger still working, our lips moved in sync as we communicated our feelings without words. Lowering my body, my tongue replaced my finger, which moved to her mouth. She sucked on my finger as my tongue continued to demonstrate precision covering every inch of her lower lips. The flood being parted by my tongue as it searched for answers that only her mouth could give. I continued to nibble on her clit as she moaned my name. I felt like I was filled up when I moved up and slid my member into her. It was slow, passionate love making. The room was candle lit because we hadn’t replaced the bulbs in that room. The sensation was different. I could feel our bodies connecting again. Pushing my dick further into her, she clutched my back and her nails dug deep into me. The pain and pleasure was my fuel as I rammed harder and deeper into her to send a clear message. I was driving her crazy and she whispered in my ear,

“Let me ride it…”

That was not a request I could decline. I got up and laid on the floor. She slid it back inside her and took control. How fast, slow, deep was all her direction. And she was dripping. Up and down, she went. I felt like I was being fucked and she owned it… all of it! And to be very honest, she did. I could feel myself ready to cum. Her juices were flowing down to my shaft to my balls. I was moaning that I was about to cum and I didn’t want to. She responded…

“Cum and I’ll make you hard again and fuck you even harder!”

I kept my mouth shut and continued to enjoy all of her on me and then, right inside her I let it all loose. She clutched her stomach area and smiled saying,

“That was really warm…”

I was trying to catch my breath and then she took my entire dick into her mouth and began sucking. Now every guy can testify that this is one of the most sensitive moments during sex. I let her suck out the last few drops and she continued. I immediately had to push her off when I noticed she knew I was getting hard again.  We curled up naked on the floor. This was home.

.   .   .   .   .

I was out with some friends from work when Lindsey’s sister, who was staying with us, called me and told me to hurry to the hospital. Her water had broken. A few friends congratulated me as I ran out and hurried to the hospital. This was the night. I was beyond excited. I’m pretty sure I did not park my car properly in the parking lot as I got out and rushed into the hospital. A few minutes later I was outside the labour/delivery ward, restlessly pacing up and down the waiting room. I was about to be a father. My family was not happy about it for various reasons; the fact that it was not my child was the most prominent one. But I was about to be a father to a beautiful baby girl that I would love and cherish.  A few months ago when we found out it was girl, I bought her a little pink baby top, which said,

“Always daddy’s little girl”

I couldn’t wait to put it on her and take her to the park near our house or evening walks to the lakeside. I was going to be there for her always. All she needed to do was come to me.

Still pacing in the waiting room, I began praying for the safe delivery of my little girl. I was praying that God would bring both mother and child to me safely… I hated the wait!! After about an hour of anxiously walking back and forth, I was drenched in sweat and starting to get tired when then the doctor walked out. He still had the mouth mask on his face as he approached me. Pulling it off he said the only words that I’d been praying against…

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I could see his mouth moving but it was like I was in an empty room with white noise railing the walls. I was trying to make out what he was saying and the words finally made it through

“I’m sorry sir. We could only save one”

 

Look out for Part 2

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Undercover Player 4

Undercover Player 4

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 @adewus4real #WhatTheHeckMan

My “true love” (Anna)

My long distance friend (Farah)

My crazy one (Jessica)

My actual woman (Sarah)

My weekend girl (Zoe)

 

I had spent a full 28 hours in cell. I was released after my mother spoke to the officers. It was dead silent on the car ride home. We both said nothing to each other. I spent the night at my parent’s home. No one said anything to me.

Very early the next morning, my parents woke me up and called me into their room. There I was attacked. My mother called me a let down and a disgrace to the family name and to her legacy. My father said he was disappointed beyond words. I was fuming inside as they both felt justified to attack me and then I snapped.

At the top of my lungs I began to yell. Spilling every single detail about how I was molested by my father’s stepsister living with us at the time and then years later my cousin. I was angry. I accused them of being failures as parents and for being too busy with the things of the world to focus on the emotional safety of their children. They were both stunned. My mother was in tears even before I was done. I stormed out of the room and into mine. Packed up my things and proceeded to leave. I was angry and I couldn’t concentrate.

When I reached my house, the first thing I went for was the bottle of alcohol. Two quick glasses and my nerves began to calm a bit. My mind was racing. I called Farah and she didn’t answer. She was on vacation to Portugal and Bangkok. I was so angry. I picked up my phone that I had just thrown on my bed and called Jessica. Even with the “Peaceful Order” issued by the court, I needed to talk to her. Face to face.

 

I was already drunk by the time she came over. Jack and I were halfway in our conversation. My breath wreaked alcohol and I was tipsy. We didn’t even talk when she walked in.

I have to admit; I think I was a bit aggressive. I pushed her up against the wall and spread her legs. Pinning her face and breasts on the wall, I slid my hand up her skirt from behind. Using my thumb, I shifted her panties out of the way and I began to massage her clit. The moans ensued. I pulled her freshly braided hair to the side and began planting kisses all down her neck. She didn’t try to move. There was something in the way my body was working hers; I was going to send a clear message. I started biting her neck as I went along and the moans got louder. My right hand was still working her clit; harder and faster now. I could feel her juices on my fingers as she got wetter and wetter. She was all mine! I got on my knees and kissed her ass cheeks before sticking my strong wet tongue into her. She let out this gasp and began scratching the wall as if she wanted to hold onto something. I could feel her get drenched as it flowed onto my tongue and my chin. I was now the one making most of the noise. The kind of slobbering sounds you hear when you’re hurriedly trying to finish a rapidly melting Popsicle. Every drop of her was going to be mine.

I was so angry. Still angry for all that she put me through. All I had asked of her was the respect she would have wanted any woman to give her if she was in her shoes. Since she didn’t want to play along, I was going to take out my aggression on her. I turned her around. Still on my knees, I looked up at her as I went in towards her clit again. This time I was nibbling. Her eyes rolled back, she let out the sigh of resignation knowing that all she was going to get was more pleasure and there was no chance that I was letting her go. She was stuck. Stuck on a high. My front two teeth enlisted my tongue as support as they owned her pink lips and it’s cohorts. She was now moaning louder and grabbing onto my head in attempt to push me off her. She almost snapped my neck off, so I stood up and walked over to my closest. I opened one of the drawers and pulled out the two sets of handcuffs. I had this evil smile on my face as I walked back to her. I moved her to my reading table. This was no movie shit. I didn’t clear the table. I sat her on it. Her bare ass cheeks on all my documents. I wanted her to spray all her juices on my papers. I wasn’t going to stop there though. I cuffed one around her left wrist and clicked it. She asked with a concerned but excited look; 

“Zane, what are you doing?”

I yelled, 

“Shut up!”

 I clicked the second arm and cuffed her to the book cabinet next to my reading desk.

Hands hanging mid air, her pussy stared me in the face and the look of excitement had turned to hesitation. She seemed fearful for what was about to happen. I was ready to give her all of it. I pulled my reading chair up and sat down. Digging in I lapped up every drop as it flowed out of her. Some of the obscene things she said, I had never heard before from anyone. I was covered in all of her as practically my entire face was soaking with her juices. I stood up and positioned my rock hard dick at the surface of her pink, ready to go! I teased her rubbing it on her lower lips without pressing in. She moaned as if to ask me to go in already. Eventually I did; slowly. She moaned and clenched her fists. That was the best she could do. I put up her legs on my shoulders as I began the stroking motion. In and out, I maintained eye contact watching her face change as I went from one level to the next. The pace picked up. I was thrusting harder, deeper and faster!

“Zane, slow down! You’re going to hurt me!!” she begged.

 I smiled and continued to pump. “Hurt” her was exactly what I wanted to do. I got angry that she tried to have me stop. I dropped her legs and leaned in, placing both hands around her neck. I pulled her in and looked at her. I knew I was about to explode but I wanted every thrust to count more than the last. I wanted her to feel every inch of me, every vein. Smearing all her juices on my hard member, I could not hold it any longer. 

“Tell me who owns it” I barked at her,

 “You, you… youuuu!” she moaned.

 “Yes!” I responded knowing fully well I only had a few thrusts left in me. I squeezed her neck. Slightly choking her as I pumped a few more times and then I pulled out… All over her stomach I squirted every drop. My aim was not the best as some of my seed spilled onto the table. I slumped into the chair. I could feel my sweaty back begin to stick to the leather seat. She was trying to catch her breath. Still cuffed, she struggled to keep her head up. I began touching the insides of her thighs. She immediately closed them up. It was super sensitive. I forced her legs apart and stuck my fingers into her. She begged me to stop. I pushed them in a bit and then pulled them up. We were both drenched in sweat. I got up and un-cuffed her hands. She didn’t even get off the table. She looked too tired. And then she asked…

 

“What The Heck Man? What was that for?”

 “Payback” I responded. “I spent a full day in holding because of your stupidity!”

 She looked at me saying, “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking properly”

 “Jessica, this has to end. It has been fun but we both gotta want more” I continued.

 She stared at me then mumbled 

“I understand and I’m sorry again” as she closed the bathroom door.

I swear in a million years, I could not even expect that conversation to have gone that way. I was just thankful that this chapter was closed for good. At least that’s what I thought.

 

.   .   .   .   . 

Even though the case had been dropped after Jessica withdrew her statement at the station claiming that she’d “overreacted”, I still couldn’t focus. Something was missing in my life. I wasn’t able to concentrate on work or anything. I knew I needed to get away. I kept thinking of where I could go. All I needed was a change of scenery.

In all my thinking, I remembered that Anna had left me to basically rot in the cell. I wanted answers. The next day a flight was booked. I was going to talk to her face to face and find out what truly happened. I arrived in the heat at about 2pm. A thirty-minute cab ride and I was at her apartment. Still in graduate school, I know Anna did not have class at that time. I waited till a car went through the automated gates and walked into the apartment complex. I arrived at her door and knocked. I heard movement and then she looked through the peep-hole. With a look of confusion and surprise she opened the door. The look on her face said… you guessed right, “What The Heck Man.” I smiled and walked in. Pleasantries aside, I asked her about what had happened and why she acted that way when I called from the station. She didn’t answer at first then she went on to say,

“I didn’t want to continue the cycle. You wouldn’t be with me but you wanted everything from a relationship. No Zane. No.”

 

I understood her perfectly, I was selfish. I wanted all her support and love but I was not willing to get over my issues and trust her fully and just be with her. Sigh.

We talked for hours and then she made dinner. Brown rice, stew with smoked turkey and boiled plantains.  Anna and I had a connection, I knew she loved me and vice versa. She was just frustrated. She wanted to be there for me through everything but I had to understand how it looked to be with her for that long and not officially enter a relationship. It must have been difficult to comprehend. I just wanted her to know that I was trying to figure me out before I joined me with someone else again.

She was cuddled up next to me when the conversation drifted towards the Jacuzzi and I suggested that we hop into it. A few minutes later swimwear clad, we walked to the Jacuzzi area. It was off. We snooped around until she found the switch and turned it on. It got hot pretty fast. We stepped in and began to talk. She was sitting on my lap as we began to reminisce on memories and on how far we had come together. From memories of our struggle to sex stories, we covered it all. Intimately as we shared that Jacuzzi together, I could feel it get hotter. I wanted her and I knew what she wanted me too. She began stroking my hardening shaft. She turned around and looked at me. Without saying a word she pushed her panties aside and slid my package inside her. It was hot. My balls were feeling the heat bubbles of the water boiling underneath them as my dick held full strength position in her as she worked her waist on it. I was holding her waist and kissing her passionately. This woman had all of me. The way her body was in sync with mine. I ran my hand over her tattooed thigh and squeezed her tighter. It was slow. It was controlled. She did not leave that position or lose control. Up and down she worked me until I was ready to give it all to her. She dictated the pace. Now I wanted to cum but I definitely wasn’t going to do that in the water. I lifted her up and put her on all fours right beside the Jacuzzi. I returned my dick back into her dripping pussy as I held her waist. I controlled the motion making sure that my dick was hitting every corner of her pussy. Discovering new reaches, she grabbed the edge of the Jacuzzi while looking back at me with those wanting eyes pleading with me to go in a little deeper. My balls were slamming against her clit as the passion was soaring out the roof. I took a handful of her hair in my hand, pulling her towards me; each thrust seemed to be a statement as our bodies moved in sync. She was moaning uncontrollably as I neared my climax. We slumped next to each other as I spurted out every drop from inside me on the floor. Naked, we curled next to each other as we stared into the sky. I was beyond confused on what to now do.

I would leave two days later after amazing talks, reconnecting and amazing sex. We even shared a run around the lake down the street from her house. We rediscovered what it felt like to love each other. I was on a high even with the sadness that came with leaving her. I hugged her tightly until the airport staff asked her to move her car. Reluctantly, we let go and she promised to make the next trip down. I had just made it through security when I received a call from my dad. I answered,

“Hello daddy…”

“How are you, son?” he said,

“Fine sir…You?” I responded.

 “Not great. We haven’t seen your mother for 4 days and she hasn’t contacted anyone. Have you heard from her? We are all worried” he said anxiously. 

“Fuck” I cursed under my breath…

“No sir, I’ll call her and get back to you” I said as I ended the call. 

I was worried now. Confused. Had my confrontation driven her over the edge? What have I done? Fuck!

“The number you have dialed is unavailable. Please leave a message…”

This was probably the 12th time I had called and my mother was still not answering. Now I was beginning to panic. She had never done something like this before. She had been really distant since the day I got out of jail. I called Sarah and she didn’t answer either. I left her a message asking her to call me. I hopped into my car at the airport parking and continued to try calling her. Nothing.

I was about 15 minutes from home when I received a series of text messages from Sarah. They were screenshots of messages between her and Jessica. I was stunned. I pulled over to the side of the road. I was confused and angry. What had Jessica done? Why? I thought things had ended the best way possible. Wow…You can never trust these women. Never!

I was torn. Do I keep calling my mother or Sarah? I was trying Sarah; I needed to explain things to her. I needed to explain that I ended it all with Jessica so I could focus on trying to build something with her. Sarah!!!

It had been an hour and I was still sitting on the side of the road in my car when I got a Twitter notification. I had been tagged in a photo. Shortly, more notifications of photos flooded my phone. Jessica was posting pictures of our conversations on the Internet. My heart froze. I was scrolling through them all and then a call from Jessica came through.

“Jessica, what are you doing?!” I yelled at the top of my lungs.

She only said one phrase…

“I only just started with you!” 

I literally think I peed on myself. I immediately began thinking of super private things I had shared with her like naked pictures, recordings and more. Even though I had the same of her, in this game, the first to call one out usually has the upper hand and Jessica really didn’t care if her naked pictures showed up on the Internet. She was that type of crazy.

I was losing it. I couldn’t take it all. There was so much blood rushing to my head. I was going crazy and then I turned over to my passenger seat. My prescription pills sat there; Amoxicillin and 800mg of Ibuprofen, twenty-one pills each. I picked the bag and decided to end it all. End all the pain. I think I was just over it all. I’m not exactly sure what I was thinking to be honest.

I opened the door and sat outside the car. I looked at the pills in my left hand and my cell phone in my right. I called my mother one last time and said 

“I never meant to bring you pain. I’m sorry… I hope you someday forgive me.”

I left the same message for Sarah and I laid the phone down to my left side and popped the pills. Almost all of them at one go. I sat there for a few minutes looking at the trees and listening to the birds chirp and then it got really dark. I was headed to a familiar place. 

 

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.   .   .   .   .

Someone calling my name woke me.

“Zane, Zane honey. It’s mummy” 

I slowly opened my eyes and there was my mother, holding my right hand. She was speaking to me slowly but I couldn’t exactly make out what she was saying. The doctors walked in a few minutes later and explained to a more awaken me that I had attempted to overdose and commit suicide. I put my head down as I was filled with regret for that decision. My mother was rubbing my hand saying it was okay, continuously thanking God for sparing my life and for the person that had spotted me lying on the side of the road. I was somewhat grateful for being alive. The doctor told me that my heart had stopped for a while and it was a miracle that I was still alive. My mother put her hands up and thanked God again. I was weak.

The doctor had left and that’s when I realized that my left hand was cuffed to the bed. I asked my mother why and how long I’d been there for. She said it had something to do with a psychiatric emergency hold for 72hrs. Apparently I’d already been there a day and half! She mentioned that I could possibly leave after a psychiatrist evaluated me. She began talking to me about how she loved me and was sorry she had not there for me. 

Sarah, Anna, Jessica, Farah and Zoe all did not seem to matter. My mother, with the strongest form of love in the planet was there for me. And I could not be more grateful. I glanced back into the room from my long gaze out into the sunny hills and looked the psychiatrist in the face.

“That was how it all happened…” I said

I looked up at the clock and then back at the psychiatrist. My time in this session was almost up. I had one every week for the past six months.

He continued jotting down in his notepad. This was my fourth evaluation in the past 3 months at this psych hospital. That meeting with my mother was 6 months ago. They have not let me out ever since. Apparently, I have not been fit to go back into the society as I have been ruled a danger to myself. If you’re reading this, I’m obviously still in here and hoping you find this story interesting enough to publish. I am so alone in here and I have not had a single visit from anyone who once claimed to love me. Abilify and Prozac are my prescribed meds for my depression. I think the cure lies in the hands of the women I gave my heart to but here I am, all alone. Dressed in all white but completely dark on the inside.  

Sigh…

My name is Zane and I really think I lost this game.

 

                                                                                                                      The End.

              #UndercoverPlayer4

Your feedback is super important to me. Let me know how you liked/hated this series. I’d really appreciate it. Drop a comment or tweet at me.

Thank you ALL!!!!

Follow me on Twitter @ADEWUS4REAL and lookout for my next story.

 

Till you read again. Ask the next guy/gal, #WhatTheHeckMan

Stay Up!