I’ve just gotten off a call that took me almost 30 minutes to end.
I’m currently sitting at the edge of my bed, staring down at my white socks covering my black knee-length socks.
Yes, I wear two pairs sometimes — especially in the winter.
I get cold easily. My feet, that is, not my heart. That one stays warm. Sometimes lukewarm, but never cold. And when it gets hot, it gets hot.
But this particular post isn’t really about my heart… maybe a little bit, maybe a lot. I don’t know. We’ll find out together.

It’s another Wednesday.
I believe this might be my third Wednesday in a row posting on my blog, which makes me very happy. I need to cook — finish cooking, actually — because I have some travel coming up and I need to pack. Normally I’d have started packing early, but since it’s a short weekend trip and the outfits are already decided by the events, it’s easier to pack later.

But I wanted to talk a little about my heart and what I’ve been feeling — not in the way you may expect. So pay attention, stay close, and welcome to another Words on Wednesday with your gracious host, The Wordsmith. Writing that out actually made me think… huh, I really need to bring my podcast back.
So is that a 2025 thing I can still make happen, or will it be early 2026?

I’ve been thinking — especially on International Men’s Day — about what it means to be a man. People love to throw out terms like “provider” and “protector,” but I think there’s so much more to being a man, and even more to being a good man. So let’s go through some of the things I’ve been reflecting on.

The heart can carry so much. I’ve realized I hold in a lot in the name of protecting or caring for those around me. My voice is often silenced, and that’s an incredible burden — carrying the weight of other people’s feelings because of their behavior. How come no one thinks about how unfair that is?

So yes, I bite my tongue when I should speak, because sometimes it doesn’t feel worth the aftermath. A few weeks ago, I wrote that people often want to “talk things out” simply because they don’t want to do the work of thinking on their own. People pour out energy because someone else refuses to sit with themselves and say, “Maybe I’m the one messing up.”

A lot of men, like myself, are required to be silent about what we truly feel. It’s expected — you’re supposed to just eat it. I’ve never understood this idea that men are meant to move through the world as if we’re always wrong. Maybe some people believe that, maybe there’s a little truth in it, but it’s not something I’m accepting as fact.

As I go into this next year, it’s important that I approach the world with a sense of duty — not just to others, not just to people I care about, but a duty to myself. A duty to say, “No, I will not burden myself with this or that.” I deserve that. I truly do.
I want to pour more energy into that in the coming year, to make sure I’m approaching this phase of adulthood differently.

Being a man, to me, is also understanding your triggers — the obvious ones and the quiet ones that creep in. It’s being able to acknowledge where the world has hurt or failed you, but also choosing to be more than what the world gave you. We owe that to ourselves. I owe that to me. You owe that to you.

Being a man is nurturing healthy relationships, creating healthy communities, and building spaces where you can be the best kind of man you can be. It’s standing on your integrity even when challenges come. It’s saying, “This is who I am,” and not wavering at your core.

It’s also recognizing where responsibility is required of you — not to be silent, not to be passive, not to simply accept what’s handed to you, but to step into the void and be more for those around you. Many of you are gifted, blessed in ways you see and in ways you don’t. But many of us wait for the perfect moment to be impactful.

People tell me all the time, “Oh, what you’re doing with your give-back is so cool. I’d love to do something like that, but I haven’t found the opportunity.” And I always say: the first year, we started with five kids. Five. Now we stand in rooms with dozens. It wasn’t from chasing perfection — it was from starting. One day became two, two became three, and suddenly we were impacting kids across cities, across levels of life.

There’s a kid in your YMCA. There’s a kid in your church. They could use your insight, your confidence, your lens. Why hold that back?

Being a man is about kindness — not just kindness to the world, but kindness to yourself. Many of us were raised to be extremely critical of ourselves. We need to remind ourselves that we are not just worthy, but deserving. You deserve someone who sees you, who cares for you, who holds space for you. You deserve that. We deserve that.

Being a man is not just about the small pockets you occupy — it’s also about the big ones. It’s about stepping into spaces that remind you that you are valuable, important, and defined.

Please don’t believe that being a man means carrying all the weight alone. One thing I intend to work on next year is asking for help. Asking for help has been extremely difficult for me — not because I don’t want help, but because I’ve been let down so many times, even by well-intentioned people.
It’s caused heartache to realize I couldn’t rely on people I cared about. But it’s something I can improve on. Something I should do better with. I need to ask for help.

This is the busiest, most demanding period of my life so far — and I don’t even have kids. What happens when I do? I don’t want to think about that right now, but you get my point. We can do more for ourselves. We should do more with ourselves.

So before this month ends, do something fun for you. Get a massage. Take a walk. Buy yourself something nice. Black Friday is around the corner — take advantage.
Do something that reminds you your existence is not just to provide and protect.
It is to live.
It is to laugh.
It is to be hugged and to hug.
It is to love and to be loved.
It is to give and to be received.
It is to build, expand, deepen, strengthen, amplify.
Your existence is for joy.

You are a man. And today, and every day, I salute you for doing your part — for doing just a little more to become the man you want to be and the man beyond that.

Till we speak again, keep your head up. My heart is with you. My thoughts are with you.
You fully deserve to be happy.

Happy International Men’s Day. ❤️

Please leave me a comment, repost and share. Thank you for your continued support.
You are highly appreciated.

#WordsOfWednesday

© 2025 #WhatTheHeckMan

“Ki lo n wa kiri?”

— What Are You Looking for All Over the Place?

Growing up, you would hear your mom, caregiver, auntie, or uncle say, “Ki lo n wa kiri?” — which in Yoruba means, “What are you looking for all over the place?” It’s usually said when you’re being scattered, disoriented, or not paying attention.

That phrase applies deeply to this moment in my life — as I think about the pain, heartbreak, and frustration I’ve experienced in adulthood, whether romantically or in platonic situations.

Recently, as I approached the end of my yearly self-review — which I highly encourage everyone to do — I began reflecting on my goals, ambitions, and the conversations I’ve had with myself. While heartbreak, frustration, pain, joy, and loss have all been recurring themes this year, I’ve realized that much of my heartache came from ignoring my inner voice.

I’m at an age now where I know myself well. I can tell quickly if someone or something deserves a place in my life. I can also tell when something or someone is just a placeholder — a distraction from doing genuine healing.

There were seasons in my past where I stumbled from one situation to another, more focused on staying busy than getting better. But this year, I’ve truly embraced solitude. I’ve learned to sit with myself, to reflect deeply on who I am and who I want to become.

It’s not enough to write down goals or talk about growth — execution matters. You owe it to yourself to give your future self the best chance possible. As I reviewed this year, I realized I don’t need to apologize for certain interactions or spaces. If anything, I owe it to myself to step away from places and people that don’t uplift me or bring me closer to my goals.

If you take one thing away from this blog, let it be this:
Whatever action you’re about to take, ask yourself —
Does it get me closer or farther from my goals?
Does it give me clarity, confirmation, or guidance?
If not, maybe it’s time to start healing and pulling yourself out of that space.

It’s so easy to just exist — to tolerate “good enough.” But I did a personal audit recently and realized there’s an area of my life where I’ve settled. I’ve tolerated situations that didn’t bring me comfort or care because I felt I wasn’t good enough. That ends now.

As I move into the summer of 2026, I’m holding myself even more accountable. I’ve noticed how often I’m tired — stretched in directions I don’t need to be. I need to be in spaces that pour into me and remind me of my worth.

I’m currently on a weight-loss cut — part of a journey I’ve been on for a few years. It’s had its ups and downs, but one truth has remained: I’m committed to my evolution. I’ve said it before — discipline is one of the greatest acts of self-love. Discipline is a love letter to your future self. It’s saying, “I love you enough to sacrifice today’s comfort so you can thrive tomorrow.”

Someone recently asked if I’d ever consider surgery or weight-loss aids like Ozempic. Honestly, I’ve had moments of temptation — it’s hard not to when you see others take shortcuts. But there’s something powerful about proving your love to yourself through the work.

This week alone, two strangers complimented me — saying I’m slimming down and looking stronger. External validation is nice, but internal confirmation is everything. When I look in the mirror, I know I worked for this. I prayed, sacrificed, and stayed disciplined to become who I am today.

That’s what I mean when I talk about love letters to your future self.

I’ve said before (I think I have) that I want my kids to have the most well-rounded dad possible. I love my father deeply — he’s one of the smartest, most grounded men I know. He taught me what depth looks like. I always say, drop my dad anywhere in the world and he’ll connect with people instantly. I love that about him — and I’ve picked that up too.

But I want to take it further. I want my kids to inherit a graduated version of that. As I write this, I’m approaching 40 countries visited in 34 years — something my dad never had the chance to do. That’s progress.

My dad’s stories are about sourcing materials in Argentina, managing production lines in Italy, and building a business from the ground up after sending himself to school in Manchester. He also passed down our shared love for Manchester United — and yes, we’re starting to win again. You’ve all been warned.

This journey — of growth, travel, and self-reflection — is my love letter to my wife, my kids, my extended family, and my community. I love when people call on me for knowledge or support. It’s important to keep investing in myself so I can continue to pour into others.

What is one way you are writing a love letter to your future self?

So back to the surgery conversation — I thought about it, I considered it. But I’m committed to doing the work. The only “surgery” I’ve joked about is maybe something cosmetic down the line (a little platelet boost so the abs show faster), but truthfully, I’m too dedicated to this process to skip steps.

I want to look back one day and say, “I built this.”
I want my wife and kids to see me and believe they can conquer anything — because their father did.

This isn’t just about having the best body or money or stamps in my passport. I want it all to be authentic.

This morning, as I got ready for the gym, I burst into praise and worship. I thought about how much I love my parents and how that ritual — morning worship — shaped me. Growing up, we’d all sing together, and as we got older, we each took turns leading. It taught me confidence, gratitude, and reverence.

I can’t wait to give that same experience to my own kids — to raise them in love, faith, and self-awareness.

So today, ask yourself:
What kind of love letter are you writing to your future self?
What conversations will your future self thank you for?

Remember, this is a process. Evolution takes time. Don’t cut corners. Don’t forget — you deserve the best version of you, even before the rest of the world meets that person.

Till next time, stay up.

Thank you for reading!



Please leave me a comment, repost and share. Thank you for your continued support.
You are highly appreciated.

#WordsOfWednesday

© 2025 #WhatTheHeckMan

Morning Thoughts: Procrastination, Self-Conversation, and the Weight of Being “The One”

Good morning, y’all — or maybe good afternoon, good evening, or hello from wherever in the world you’re reading this. I sometimes forget that I’m blessed to have people who read my work or watch my content from all over the world. I need to start acting like it again because, for a second, I think I forgot.

Anyway, it’s morning as I write this. I’m trying to decide what to wear to work. I hadn’t planned to go into the office today, but there’s a company-wide event being televised locally, and I figured I’d go in to support.

Truth be told, I haven’t been going in much lately. Between meetings, reports, and projects, I’ve been swamped. And if you’re anything like me — social, popular, or just someone people like catching up with — your productivity drops when you’re in the office. I get so much done in terms of community-building and connection, but I end up back home in the evening catching up on actual work, which isn’t ideal.

Most days I prefer my rhythm: gym, then work, then unwind. But today’s different.

Don’t Let Procrastination Win

Last night before bed, I debated whether to wash the dishes. I was exhausted — hadn’t eaten all day (don’t judge me). I wanted to skip it and just do them in the morning. And sometimes, that’s okay. I’m not here to preach absolutes.

But I told myself: “Yes, you could do it in the morning… or you could just do it now and wake up with one less thing to do.”
You can probably guess which option I chose.

Ten, maybe fifteen minutes later, the dishes were done. I didn’t feel like it mattered at the time — I was just doing it, slightly annoyed. But this morning? I woke up thankful. That little act of not giving in to procrastination changed the tone of my morning.

Small wins matter.

Sometimes the thing you’ve been avoiding takes way less time or energy than you think. I’ve learned to apply that same mentality to work — to just start, even when it feels inconvenient.

So here’s my word for you today:
Look around your space. Is there something you’ve been punting down the road? Do it. Start small. Get it off your list. Clear the weight of “later.”

The Lost Art of Talking to Yourself

I’ve noticed that a lot of people love talking about things — not necessarily to understand them, but because they don’t know how to have conversations with themselves.

Now, don’t get me wrong — talking things out is healthy. But sometimes people rely on external conversations to do the internal work they’ve been avoiding.

Me? I talk to myself about everything. Decisions I make and don’t make. What I said, what I didn’t say. How I show up. Why I react the way I do. I interrogate my own mind constantly.

So when some people want to “process” something with me, I sometimes find it exhausting — not because I don’t care, but because I’ve already had that conversation internally. I already know my blind spots, my lapses, my growth edges.

Too often, people use conversations as the first real time they’re confronting their truth. And that’s why those conversations feel so heavy — because they haven’t done the pre-work with themselves.

So before you start another long “we need to talk” session, ask yourself:
Have I already said everything I need to say to myself?
Have I sat with the root — the why behind the feeling — or am I outsourcing my self-reflection?

True conversations are powerful when both people have already done their inner work. Otherwise, you end up talking in circles with someone who’s still discovering what you’ve already processed.

The Weight of Being “The One”

Yesterday, I was on a call with a close friend and felt this wave of anxiety and irritation wash over me. Lately, I’ve noticed I’m not as excited to interact with people. Human interaction feels… heavy.

It’s not that I don’t love people — I do. But I’m tired.

I was talking to another friend about their family situation, and a thought crossed my mind: Who’s going to save you?

Because honestly, sometimes God is all we have. And that’s not just a phrase — it’s reality.

I’ve had countless conversations about my career and future, but at the end of the day, I always circle back to the same truth: if something goes wrong, it’s on me to fix it.

That realization is both sobering and motivating. It saddens me because I know I don’t have that safety net that some people have — the family that pays for college, buys the first car, funds the first business. I used to envy that.

Now I just want to make sure my future kids don’t feel that same void.

Still, it’s exhausting. It feels like every time my phone rings, it’s someone needing something — help, advice, money, support. Rarely do people call to pour into me.

And that’s not bitterness speaking; it’s just honesty. Two things can be true: I can love being there for people and still feel drained by the imbalance.

I’ve watched how men — strong, capable men — end up in strange, painful situations, and I get it now. Sometimes we just want to feel seen. We crave spaces that recognize us. And when the people we love don’t see us, we drift toward environments that do — even if they’re not healthy ones.

I’m grateful I’ve learned to recognize that need before it traps me. I never want to chase being seen in the wrong place just because I’m unseen in the right one.

Final Thought

Have you ever dated someone who seemed to be pushing you to break up with them?
They go cold, stop engaging, stop building, ignore your messages, your effort, your energy — almost like they’re daring you to call it quits?

If you’ve ever been in that situation, I’d love to hear about it in the comments.

Anyway — it feels good to be back. Sorry this one ran long; clearly, I had a few things on my mind. I need to get better at scheduling posts because when I try to write on the day of, real life always catches up.

But until I figure that out — here’s another submission from my brain.

Take care of yourself.
Prioritize your mental health.
You deserve a love that’s loud, intentional, and rooted in care — not convenience.
And I hope you find it. But more importantly, I hope you are that kind of love for others too.

Till next time,

Eniiwaju.

I am currently sitting on my couch in my living room and have spent the better part of the evening here. It is 1:38 a.m., and I’m about to have a scoop or two scoops of ice cream and a cookie—one of the best cookies I’ve ever had in my life.

They’re from Sweet Charlie’s in Austin, Texas. I love them. I specifically go to the farmer’s market every week, or every couple of weeks—because sometimes I buy in bulk—to grab them.

Anyways, the reason why I brought up the cookies is because it’s late.
I had dinner probably at about 8:30. It was a late dinner because I was working, plus I had to make dinner.

I had Indomie and a very random thing. For as much as I can cook and as much as I’ve been cooking for years, Indomie and frying eggs have not been my strong suits—up until recently. My egg game is so much better than it used to be.

My best friend seems to think that his eggs are the best, but he needs to try my new and improved version. We stopped living together a little over 18 months ago, and in that time, I’ve gotta say, I can give him a run for his money. But you know, he doesn’t want to see me out on these streets. That being said, I am about to have dessert—a very late dessert—but before I do that, I’m going to post on my blog. That’s part of the reason why I am staying awake.

I was working, but right before I was about to go to sleep, I realized that it is Wednesday. Even though I have been posting on my blog for the last few weeks, if you haven’t read them, you can read them here.

A lot has happened in the last couple of weeks that I haven’t shared with you guys, so I figured I’d do that before I go to bed. Hopefully, if you get a chance to read this, you’ll let me know your thoughts, share them with me, and we can talk.

The first thing that I want to touch on is the absolute importance of taking care of your light. For a lot of people, that light is in the people we surround ourselves with. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not here to say that there’s no light in us directly—I believe there is—but I also believe that there is magic in the people we keep around us.

Something happened in my family in the last couple of weeks that threatened to take away my light. I actually watched myself become a shadow of who I am, and in many ways, it’s given me better perspective for some of what— and I use that word loosely—some of what my closest friends have experienced in the last couple of years.

I worried. I could not sleep. I prayed. And even that comes with another layer—being faced with trials and tribulations, calling on God, and almost feeling guilty for doing that because then the devil wants you to question yourself and ask: “Did you call on God this frequently when everything was smooth?”

Even that reality, or that challenge, is not something I had fully anticipated going into adulthood, going into this year, and it definitely was something that I had to navigate in the last couple of weeks.

I won’t say much, because honestly there’s not much to say here, and I think for those of you that are sensitive enough—either in mind or in spirit—you can read between the lines and figure out what I’m referencing.

With that, I have to devote more time and more energy to carefully and consistently loving on my people. So, if there’s anything that I can take away from this entire post this week, it’s this: intentionally love your people. Call more. Make more time. Linger more with them. Hug a little bit tighter. Smile back. Send pictures. Take pictures. Keep them alive in your heart and keep them alive in all the things that you do on a daily basis.

Yes, it has been a challenging couple of weeks, but I want to thank those who are close to me—those that knew what was going on, those that remembered to check in, those that care but, you know, life is life-changing for them as well. So thank you to those that remember to check in. I see you. I care. I hope you’re doing well, and I hope that we continue to do well on this side of the aisle as well.

——-

Well, that was fun! I clocked four years at my job a few weeks ago.

If you had told me when I was getting this job four years ago that I was going to be at this company for four years, I probably would have said yes. I think I’m a loyal person. I have a sense of loyalty, even though I wouldn’t sit here and promise you that I was deeply loyal to any company. But if you add my sense of loyalty to my quest for stability, you can probably understand why I’m the type of employee that, if happy, stays at a company for a while.

It’s also just an added bonus that I really like the people that I work with. The work is fun, the work is challenging, and the work is at the forefront of what is happening in the world today with AI, with improvements and innovations. So it’s an exciting time to do what I do.

It’s an exciting time to be afraid, to be concerned, to lean into AI, to learn more—and that’s what I’m trying to do. I hope that you are doing the same for yourself in the pockets that you occupy as well.

_____________

Hmmmmm. So the heart is very interesting. It’s very complex. It’s so interesting how the heart is just a ridiculously complex contraption. Because not only does it, in a small way, do everything to keep you alive and ticking, it also has a way of humbling you and making you pause for a second.

I did something unintentionally—I don’t know if it was early this week or mid last week, probably late last week. In an attempt to explore something, I posted something that may have given someone—or some people—the wrong impression or the wrong message. It was interesting to me to watch the reactions after that.

But then it got me thinking: Why does the heart do what it does? Why does it know that you deserve so much more than what you have been given, but still connect with certain things or certain people? Why does the heart look at you and say, “Hey, I know you’re afraid, and I know it took you courage to run from here, but oh, how much you miss that space or that place”?

One thing I’m trying to appreciate more and give myself grace for is allowing myself to make mistakes. I’m in the last half of the first half of my thirties. And there’s such a crippling fear of getting it wrong.

I feel like I don’t have time to get it wrong. I don’t have time to make the wrong career move, relationship move, or spiritual move. And it’s not always a case of feeling like I’m going to let God down. Sometimes it’s a case of worrying that I would let myself down—that I would drop all my standards or forget who I am and what I stand for.

Some of it is unfounded, my anxiety. Some of it is my need—not necessarily to be perfect—but my need to not default to imperfection, or be comfortable with imperfection.

So yeah, I put a lot of pressure on myself. And in that instance, I realized there are still parts of my life that I miss. Parts of my life that I wish made more sense. Parts of my life that I wish I could sit down and talk about—with past friends, past lovers, past people.

Life is interesting.

While we’re on this topic, a story I’ll tell you is of a time when I once fell out with a friend, and we didn’t speak to each other for years—only for us to finally speak and the person said, “Oh my God, I’ve been yearning to talk to you for years, I’ve been wanting to say something, I’ve just been afraid.”

And I was sitting here, also crippled with my fear of rejection, not being able to say anything. You know, it shouldn’t have been an email.
It really shouldn’t.
It should have been a sit-down conversation, and maybe my heart wouldn’t have been able to take it. Maybe my heart would have burst out of my chest, or maybe it would have just stopped working.

I don’t know. Maybe I have to forgive myself and tell myself that I did try to communicate, I did try to express, I did try to forgive.

It’s crazy to feel so deeply hurt by someone that you care about or someone that you once held in high regard—and maybe you still hold them in high regard—but you’re just unable to see a pathway to healing.

Maybe I’ve said enough for you to pick your own message in there, because everything I’ve talked about has included platonic relationships, deep romantic relationships, or friendships that I thought would transcend youth, move into wisdom, and blossom into generations. But life happens—and it’s beautiful, chaotic, sad, and painful all in one.

The heart is weird because it maps, it connects, it wants, it longs for the connectivity to the past and the idea of what the future might look like. But none of it is smooth. None of it makes perfect sense. And sometimes you just have to wing it and hope that you’re going to get it right more times than you get it wrong.

Such is life. We meet people, we love them, they love us.
And then they block us or never like our posts for a whole year.
Oddly specific huh? Mind ya businesssss!

_________

I met a woman recently. And it’s interesting that I say that—for those of you who thought you were about to have some kind of “gotcha” moment or whatever, relax, you’re not.

But I met a woman I have been curious about for years, intrigued by for years, and somehow fearful of for years as well—only to meet her and find that not only does she seem to be a truly great person, she just seems like cool vibes.

You ever meet someone you were so sure you wouldn’t get along with, and then you meet them and you’re almost disappointed—not in the person, but in yourself—for being so basic in assuming that you wouldn’t get along with them or that it wouldn’t be a mutually beneficial experience?

We had a conversation, we had some quality time—again, not where you’re going with your mind—but someone to converse about life with, about work, about hobbies, about things like that.

It’s funny that even in that same interaction, to spend time with someone, to be intrigued by the person, they can still remind you that we’re still evolving and learning each other in our own ways. I don’t think I’ve ever had someone genuinely say to me that I was full of myself.

This person said that I give off the vibe that I’m full of myself—either because I “have it together” or appear to have it together. I find that hilarious because, one, I don’t feel like I have it together, and two, where is that coming from?

I strive very, very hard to have it together. It’s the reason I work so hard. It’s the reason I’m up late. It’s the reason I’m trying to deliver this blog post to you before I go to bed. I try not to let my standards drop in terms of the greatness that I show or how I present in the world.

But even in that time—even in having an amazing time and an amazing experience meeting this person and sharing space with them—it’s still a subtle reminder of life: we’re always learning.
We’re always learning each other, always learning ourselves, always evolving.

It was beautiful to have that experience all in one. On one hand, the person was talking and I thought, “Oh my God, we’re so alike on this and this and this.”
Then they said something else and I thought, “Oh yeah, we’re definitely different on that because I’m not thinking like that.”

I like experiencing life like that.

I think the biggest lesson to take away from meeting this person is: don’t let your fears or your perceptions of people hinder you from experiencing new things, new people, new domains. But at the same time, understand that you are evolving artwork.

You’re an evolving masterpiece that won’t look the same to everyone, won’t feel the same to even you sometimes, but you must continue pressing on with who you are and who you’re going to continue to be. Only you know who you truly are and who you’re designing your life to feel and look like.

In the journey you go along, make friends, make lovers, make memories, make time, make space, and be yourself. Enjoy yourself—because you are all you have.

Till we speak again, keep your head up and stay up.

Thank you for reading!



Please leave me a comment, repost and share. Thank you for your continued support.
You are highly appreciated.

#WordsOfWednesday

© 2025 #WhatTheHeckMan

Among all the beautiful things in the world—growth and longevity included—is the concept of grace. I think it’s rooted in empathy, though I don’t believe they’re the same. Embodying empathy allows you to extend more grace to others, but grace stands on its own.

And I don’t always mean grace in the biblical sense. I’m talking about the kind that comes from simply understanding we’re human—our lives will evolve, shift, and fluctuate. Because of that, grace should be a fundamental part of your human currency. Let me tell you a story about how that’s shown up in my life.

A few years ago, one of the biggest tensions between my best friend and me was how often she’d call and I’d be too busy—or too tired—to really talk. From her perspective, it likely felt like I didn’t care, didn’t respect her, or didn’t value our time together. And, honestly, that’s a fair human reaction.

But as we’ve gotten older, the roles have flipped. These days, I’m probably more available than she is. In the time we’ve grown together, she’s switched careers, made a name for herself, and become a key player on her team. There’s more family responsibility on her shoulders now, and understandably, she has less time.

Now I’m the one calling and not getting through. I’m the one missing the connection, looking for that availability, while she’s doing her best—sometimes struggling—to balance everything and still show up for our relationship.

Here’s where grace comes in.

Grace doesn’t keep score. It doesn’t remember old favors so you can cash them in later. It recognizes the ebb and flow of life—the way things shift, the way demands change—and it offers compassion without expectation.

Grace says, I know life is a lot right now, and extends patience without needing anything back. It anticipates stress. It expects change. It accepts that the people we care about will sometimes be out of reach—and still shows up with open hands.

Years ago, I might have read this and not fully understood. Today, I do.

Please comment, repost and share. Thank you for your continued support.
You are highly appreciated.

#WordsOfWednesday

© 2025 #WhatTheHeckMan

Hello, guys. Welcome back — and welcome to the first edition of What the Heck, Man? – Words of Wednesday for the second half of the year.

Yes, for the millionth time: the second half of the year begins in July. Not June. You June folks — please get it together.

The funny thing about this edition that you’re about to read—or hear—is that I’m writing it from a completely unexpected place. I didn’t plan to be here when crafting this particular post. But here we are. Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the mid-year What the Heck Man update.

And honestly, it should probably start with the signature line: What the heck, man? Because… where did the year go? I feel like I just wrapped up the 2024 review a second ago, and now we’re halfway through a new year. So, let’s get into it—here’s a real account of how things have been so far.

If I had to sum it up in one word, I’d say: good. It’s had its turbulent moments, sure, but overall, it’s been steady growth. Some parts of life have gotten a lot clearer, while others have fully closed—or at least been shelved for now.

Physically and mentally, it’s been a grind. Between the gym and making a real effort to get back into therapy, I’ve been putting in the work. But unlike past years, I finally feel like I understand how most of this is supposed to function. And that’s something I’m actually proud of.

There are still a few things I’m figuring out—some pieces that have pushed me to dig deep in ways I hadn’t really acknowledged before. I recently saw a video from my friend Toni, and she said something that stuck with me: it’s easy to think you miss someone—or something—because of hope. But really, a lot of that longing comes from the rush of dysfunction, not the actual person.

When you slow down and start peeling back the layers, you begin to realize you don’t actually miss them. You miss the version of yourself that was still holding on to the potential. That clarity only comes when you sit with yourself long enough to ask the hard questions—and be honest with the answers.

If I leave you with one thought going into the second half of the year, it’s this: hope can be dangerous. Hope without action, growth, or signs of life is a waste. Because eventually, all that effort you pour in can come back empty. And worse still, the person or thing you were hoping for might turn around and say, who asked you to do all that?

So, remember that the next time you feel tempted to overextend yourself or compensate for people who are either unwilling—or maybe just unable—to meet you where you are.

On a brighter note, fitness has been going well. I’ve dropped some weight—not that it’s the main goal—but more importantly, I’ve gotten stronger. I’ve been consistent. And I think it’s finally time I give myself credit for that.

I Met Jacob Banks

In a very random but beautiful twist, I just met Jacob Banks — one of my all-time favorite artists. Top 3 for sure, maybe top 5. I had a full 15-minute conversation with him about music, touring, performing in Nigeria, and more. It was so surreal.

I ran into him while heading to my flight back to the States. We just ended up talking. It was one of those really organic, fulfilling moments that didn’t require a selfie or a picture. The most I did was FaceTime my best friend — who absolutely lost her mind — and she even got to say hi to him too. Wild huh?

Beyond that, the past 24 hours have just been good vibes only. I spent quality time with friends, did cool stuff, and yeah — I’m flying today at 11:20, but was out till 4 a.m., in bed by 5:30, and by then, the sun was already out. No regrets.

Rest Is Productive Too

What stood out most during this trip was prioritizing rest. I made a conscious decision to not open my laptop, to disconnect completely — and it was one of the best things I could’ve done for myself. Just a few hours from now, I’ll get back to it. But for now, I’m holding on to this space.

I traveled through Belgium, Germany, Luxembourg, Albania, and wrapped it up in London. Albania was the last stop before London — and honestly, it was the best leg of the trip for deep rest and true recovery. London, on the other hand, felt like I stepped back into myself — recharged and realigned.

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All in all, I’m just feeling grateful. This mid-year check-in is a reminder to rest, be present, and embrace the unexpected. On to the second half — let’s make it count, shall we?

Are you comfortable being alone?

I don’t mean just being by yourself—I mean sitting in it. The dark. The stillness. The quiet hum of loneliness. The ache of longing. The parts of solitude that aren’t curated for aesthetics or ease. The moments that feel raw, maybe even a little heavy.

One of my best friends told me earlier this year, “You need to get more comfortable being alone.”
At first, it felt like a strange thing to say. I talk to people every day. My job requires it. My life is full of interactions. But here’s the twist: connection doesn’t always equal closeness. And presence doesn’t always mean partnership.

I’ve started to realize that part of the challenge of being human – especially one who loves deeply – is that sometimes, we reach for things we were never meant to hold on to. People. Ideas. Dreams. We cling not out of lack of self-love, but out of habit. Out of hope. Out of the desire to not feel the silence echo back too loudly.

But silence can be sacred.

I’ve also come to understand something hard and humbling: most adult relationships don’t fail because people stop caring. They fail because we stop communicating—clearly, vulnerably, honestly.
Not just with the other person, but with ourselves. We build castles together, brick by brick, dream by dream. But somewhere along the way, the signals get fuzzy. The messages change. And instead of leaning in, we dig our heels. We let ego lead. We take stances. We build walls.

And suddenly, you find yourself sitting across from someone who once felt like home, now needing a translator just to stay in the same room.

So I say this with love:
Sit down. Open up.
Feel it all. Talk through the fear. The misunderstanding. The need.
Let yourself be seen. Let yourself be held.
Choose relationships that can hold both truth and tenderness.
The ones that allow for uncomfortable, foundation-shaking conversations and still choose grace.

Summer is finally here.
And whether I mentioned this in my last post or not—I’ll say it now:
Plan something just for you.

A staycation. A solo trip. A weekend with your best friend. Even if it’s not this summer, book it anyway. Let it be your reminder that you matter too. That your peace is worth protecting. That you don’t have to apologize for putting yourself first—not this time.

You deserve that kind of care.
You deserve that kind of joy.
You deserve you.

Please comment, repost and share. Thank you for your continued support.
You are highly appreciated.

#WordsOfWednesday

© 2025 #WhatTheHeckMan

There are some mornings that are slow, 

some mornings that I don’t know

There are days where the sound that bellows through my world is a ceiling fan or the 20 trains of thoughts racing across the map vastly drawn by my experiences, interactions, footprints that I’ve registered all around the world. 

There are days where my right arm is asleep because it holds the head of someone graceful and comfortable enough to let their guard down and find solace in my throbbing bicep while I lay awake wondering when I would get invited into the version of safety that they feel as they silently snore next to me.

There are moments where the dance is beautiful but the music is sad and there are days where the steps are clumsy because the music brings so much joy, happiness as the tenor, peace like the unmissable but not pinching soprano. 

And then there are mornings like today where none of it 

and everything exists at the same time. 

There is no head on the pillow, 

there is no sleep within thine eyes, t

here is no joy dancing within my soul 

but then there is me 

there is God o 

and the comfort in knowing that if everything else fails you’re still loved by The One.

Now of course many of you reading this would say clearly you have a lot of love in your life and that is true. I’ve spent the last few weeks celebrating some of the people who are dearest to me and at the same time I found myself on the brink of the unknown. In the last couple of months I’ve been traveling everywhere and anywhere.

Home, 

abroad, 

close, 

far, 

present, 

absent. 

Much of it has felt like going through the busy and often unspoken part of building community – the showing up.

Invitations to life changing delicious Crème brûlée pancakes or dizzying pasta dishes that fill you up and remind you that there is love in food as much as there’s love in the people that you hold dear. I’ve been scheduling what is supposed to be my rest before my long next set of trips. I’ve found people try to find me while I’m finding myself.

There’s so much that’s going on in the world lately. I recently asked a friend why they thought more and more people have been visibly attracted to me. Now if you’re attracted to me and you’re reading this blog do not be discouraged – you are not alone. Cryinggggg Sanmi why are you like this? Okay, I am joking o.

Okay maybe not but let’s proceed.

If anything the fact that other people are attracted to me validates the point that you smart!* because people want what you want. You might be a visionary you might have wanted it first but you know props to you. At the same time it feels overwhelming because what is more beautiful than being wanted but not by the person that you want? 

You didn’t expect that one, huh? 

Now maybe that is my life.

Maybe it’s not. 

Who knows? 

Maybe I’m just saying that for dramatic effect as I write this. 

We’ll never know.

Joking, Am I? 

Read that last line backwards and rest LOL

But isn’t it so beautifully complex? One thing I’m learning to appreciate more and more as I get older is understanding how even in the beautiful interactions you have with certain people you are reminded that some people are there only for a moment, for time, for a season. And then some people like my best friends are for the entirety of the journey. 

A lifetime.

So back to that attraction thing. Now I’m not talking about like the unknown in terms of like you can’t tell if that person really likes you. I’m talking about some women be putting it on.

Now I also want to say this for the fellas. If you’re out there confused if you feel confused about whether or not she likes you, she doesn’t like you, bro. Or maybe you’re just not attractive enough.

I’m here to tell you the truth today. And I know majority of my readers are women. So for the few guys that are here, sorry that I had to break that truth to you.

But if you’re guessing? if you have to ask them? if you have to try to sort their actions to find moments that validate whether or not they like you, then odds are they might care, but maybe they don’t like you enough. Because one thing that has become very obvious to me in the last few weeks is that when a woman likes you, my brother, you go know. And the ones that have the confidence, the experience will find a way to make it obvious and then make the decision fall back into your court for you to decide what you want to do with that attraction.

And ladies, if you are confused or unsure if he knows you like him – then you have not made it obvious enough. 

 It is very hard for folks to reconcile the fact that I love to dress up, I have different talents that God has put in me – put a pin in that I’m going to come back to the talents in a second –  the fact that I’m good at a bunch of different things, I work hard, I try to take care of myself, it has been a lot.

Even in all of that, people don’t realize that I’m very shy. Oftentimes, I simply just want the gaze of the person that I want and I simply just want the gaze of the person that my gaze is fixed on.

And to have the overwhelming reaction, and I’m talking the grocery store, I’m talking the bank. Who goes into the bank anymore, by the way? There’s something about the uptick. And the only thing I can confidently attribute it to is the light of the Lord, because I don’t think that there’s anything unique that I do.

And maybe there are other guys out there that get way more attention than me, and I should just relax. But it has been quite a bit. And somehow, some people assume that it should make you feel higher in the world.

But if anything, it then brings on the pressure of the fact it’s not why I want to be seen. I want to be experienced in the world for the things that I am blessed with, my talents, my gifts, the fruits of the Spirit within me. And at this phase of my life, that is probably the second biggest area of pressure or stress, is that I do not feel like I am fully maximizing my talents the way I should.

Yes, I am writing and in the last few years, this is the most consistent I have written on this blog. And I still have a novel that I need to get to. Sanmi Saturdays is still a thing that I haven’t fully fleshed out just yet, and I want to.

But at least I’m posting on the blog. But I’m not editing the videos I should be editing. I’m not posting the pictures I should be posting.

I’m not sharing the other gifts that God has given me. I’m not singing at church like I used to  for over a decade.

I am not writing this book that I’m supposed to be finishing up. I feel like I am wasting my window, and I know folks would point to some people who made it in their 40s, and J.K. Rowling, and Chimamanda, and this person, and that person, and I get it. And I know God’s timing is the best.

But I also fully understand the folks who just get to their mid to late 30s, and they say, hey, I’m taking a year or two off work completely. And maybe I need to start considering doing that, because the work doesn’t let up. The better I get at my job, at doing my job, at delivering, I get more and more work put on my plate.

So there isn’t going to be a time where you’re going to just fully have nothing to do, which is where that depression comes in, because you have to make the time. So because I love to leave you all with a lesson, even while I have a therapy session with myself, this blog, here’s a lesson I would say – make sure you’re doing at least something.

At least one of the areas is being covered, and you’re doing something to further yourself. So if you’re not writing, maybe you’re reading. Maybe you’re mapping out what the process will look like eventually.

Just be doing something. Last but not least this week, I wanted to ask you all, does liking Instagram pictures, does it matter to you all? I don’t know what it is, but I have never been in a relationship or liked someone and deeply cared about who they were, liked. The only time that has happened to me was someone that I thought was physically more advanced.

I wouldn’t even say more attractive than me. I liked someone and I could tell that they were more invested in the fitness or lifestyle content of somebody else. And a little bit of jealousy crept in there.

But more than that, I think I use the app the wrong way, because I’ve been accused of “when I see baddies, your like is there.”

But for real, na non fine people I suppose dey like their picture?
I don’t know what it is, but I like everything on the app. There are some things that I don’t like.

Even an ex, if I saw a picture or video, something you posted that looks fire, I will like it. I think that is what the app is for, is to let people, is to acknowledge the creativity, the ability to compose either pictures or captions or videos or outfits and recognize that. So when I see that or when my explore page suggested to me, I will not hesitate to like it.

Now, you have to know me well enough to my core to know that I actually don’t care about those people or even some of my content. When I post certain things, I move on. I don’t go back to look at who watched.

I don’t go back to look at how many likes it got. The one I care about the most probably is when I make cooking videos, when I see a lot of saves, you know, either means I edited it well or I made it look appealing enough to others. And that I will always be proud of.

But outside of that, I don’t care. So imagine my frustration being questioned and I also think it’s important that in relationships, you don’t use always and never, because saying something like, “whenever I see a baddie, you’re always in their likes”

First of all, there’ll be weeks where I don’t post anything.

There are months where people have to reach out to me and be like, 

“hey, are you good?” 

“Are you on a break?”

“Why are you not posting?” So I don’t know. I wanted to ask you all, and maybe if there are fellas that are reading this, maybe you can chime in as well because of how you receive it with, you know, women. Because for example, I will say I don’t have the same reaction in terms of women when it comes to them liking men’s content.

I think it just feels like a lot more women use the app and a lot more women post. That’s just my perspective. I know as a heterosexual adult man, I am probably getting fed more  women’s content – pictures and videos.

I think that’s what Instagram thinks that I would want in this phase of my life. So less men, but I like the guys that follow me and I respect them. I like their content.

When I see it, I post it. I try to amplify it, but I’m curious to find out like, do people care that deeply? And is someone’s Instagram liking behavior indicative of the kind of person that they are? Because in my mind, I’ve seen people who don’t post anything at all, but they’re the biggest cheats. I’ve seen people who like everything and they don’t like me, who don’t even remember what they liked.

Like sometimes I go in the app, like I go once a day, like around midnight. That’s usually when I would end up posting my gym pictures and they’re done. And sometimes I just go to the reels tab and I like everything I see, or I go to my explore page and I’m like, Ooh, my friend follows this person.

I like that. And I just keep it pushing. 

I don’t remember it.

And then sometimes six months later, that same profile will repost something. And then I’ll be like, Oh, that’s a nice picture. And I click on it and I’m like, Oh, I’ve liked the picture of this person six months ago.

I don’t recall this, but still a nice picture though. Like it and move on again.

So I’m curious to find out is, is, is Instagram that serious to people? Um, I want to know. Anyways, last but not least, summer is almost here. It’s basically here.

If you haven’t been in the gym, if you haven’t been taking care of yourself or your diet, you probably have maybe a few more weeks to try to get right. Um, not saying that to overwhelm you or make you feel sad, but I actually brought that up to say, try to book something, even if it’s a staycation in your city. Um, even if it’s like a weekend trip, try to do something, get a change of scenery, afford yourself the time to rest.

If you can, you deserve it. You’ve worked hard so far for the first half of the year and you deserve a pat on the back. I’m pretty sure I would write to you all again before then, but if I don’t, here’s me telling you, take some time for yourself and let’s all be kinder to each other.

It’s been a hard working year – you and I deserve grace, kindness, rest, and love. 

So until next time,

Stay up!

Comment, repost and share. Thank you for your continued support.
You are highly appreciated.

#WordsOfWednesday

© 2025 #WhatTheHeckMan

Sometimes I wonder, and I think about writing and posting on here. Another week, another Wednesday. Welcome to this week’s episode of Words of Wednesday with the one, the only, The Wordsmith.

I once hired an editor to edit some of my blog posts. Not entirely because I wanted someone to edit the grammar—shout out to all the AI tools that do that now—but because I wanted the person to summarize what each blog post covered and send it to me. Because if you’re in a particular season or frame of mind, it’s very easy to continue to speak on the same things over and over.

And I didn’t want a scenario where I was always writing to you guys week over week about the same things, not allowing myself to expand my mind beyond whatever it was I was thinking about.

So on today’s episode of Words of Wednesday, I’ll just go ahead and tell you what’s on my mind.

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“You need to go that department do your forensics and then come back”

As of the time of writing this blog post, my energy has been off.

And one of the beautiful things about being self-aware is that it allows you the opportunity for introspection—to sit down and do a sort of forensic analysis of everything happening in your life, or everything that may have happened to get you to that point.

For me, in thinking about why I’ve been feeling the way I have, it’s obviously been a very difficult month within my friend group and family. Work has been really tough. But at the same time, I know exactly why my mood is off.

Despite all the things I just mentioned, in most cases, I still make time to push through. But I find that with this particular subject matter—or when a particular person and I are not in active, positive engagement or conversation—my mood is off.

Now, some of you will try to speculate and figure out who that person is. I promise you, you won’t figure it out. But we know, right?

And the beautiful thing about that self-reflection is it made me think about all the places where I’ve ignored the promises I made to myself.

One of the challenges I find as I get wiser—and I hate the fact that I keep saying that in these posts, because I’m like, damn, I don dey old o—is that I want to offer something meaningful to my kids. I don’t want them to have to wait until I’m in my 50s, 60s, or 70s to know how I feel about them or about the realities of my world.

Because I’ve spent the last 12 years of my life documenting my truth, my experiences, my realities, and trying to keep a conversation going with my current and future self.

This week, I’m nursing a left shoulder injury. Work has been off the rails—off the chain busy, as well. Life has just been lifing.

But we keep pushing through. We keep trying to advance and move ourselves forward.

This week, I want to tell you guys a few things that reminded me of promises I’ve made to myself—whether it’s through therapy or just adulting in general.

For the first time in almost a year and a half, I opened my affirmation book cards and read them.

Initially, I stopped reading them probably because things got better—or I got busy. That’s one of the things about life: it never stops. Loving someone never stops. Loving yourself never stops. Being active in a relationship with God never stops.

You have to continue to actively work on it every single day.

Of course, I got comfortable and told myself it wasn’t necessary anymore—when in fact, that’s exactly when you should lock in more.

I’ve picked up a lot of lessons along the way in life. But one that continues to stand out came from a TikTok I saw a few years ago—and it’s changed almost every relationship for me.

The TikTok said:
“If they couldn’t speak, would their actions show you that they love you?”

Pause. Don’t think too deeply about it. Think about the immediate thought that comes to mind when you think about that person—and how they make you feel.

If they were silent for a week, would their dependability or thoughtfulness, without using words—make you feel seen and loved?

If they didn’t have money to send or didn’t buy you gifts, would the other things—how they care, show up, or hold space—make you feel loved?

I can’t tell you how many times just thinking about that has changed my perception and perspective on relationships.

I had to do that forensic analysis I mentioned earlier and ask myself some difficult questions: How do I feel with this person?

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….for the Ladies (and Gentlemen)

So ladies, take a moment.

If he doesn’t talk, does remembering the things that are important to you make you feel seen? Loved?

If he wasn’t complimenting your body, does the way he looks at you—with love and genuine affection, make you feel loved?

If she doesn’t cook for you, or she doesn’t get jealous, does that mean she doesn’t love you? Or does it just mean she expresses it differently?

It doesn’t always have to be romantic relationships either. Think about your friendships:

• How do they speak of you?
• How do they hold you in regard?
• Do they go out of their way to make you feel important?

I was talking to one of my really good friends the other day, and in the middle of our conversation, I mentioned something I was about to do for someone I care about.

He said, “This one… just use your head, sha. They will just use your head again”

And I thought to myself, Nah.

There’s a tendency, due to my natural predisposition to be generous and thoughtful, to continue being a doer. But I speak here all the time about reciprocity. I speak all the time about feeling seen.

All my life, and in all my romantic relationships, all I’ve ever really wanted was to feel seen.

And I don’t believe I’ve spent enough time truly seeking relationships that make me feel that way. In many of them, I’ve had to guess how they felt about me or make excuses for the lack of care they show me.

So I want to ask everyone reading this—especially the ladies:

If you have to ask them if they love you or even like you, shouldn’t that worry you?

There’s a tendency in today’s world to live at extremes. People are either super nonchalant or lovebombing you. You have folks who want you to move the earth before they even show that they like you.

But I don’t believe you need to wait. If your heart is pure, and you genuinely care, your natural instinct should be to show it.

If the person you love—man or woman—is having to ask how you love them, maybe you need to re-evaluate how you’re expressing it. Maybe you’re not speaking their language. Maybe you’re not loving them in the way they need.

So ask yourself this as we head into the second half of the week and into next week:

If you didn’t speak, would all the people around you know you care?

That question can apply to the present. But it can also reflect the past:

• Have you done enough in your current or past relationship for that person to trust that you care?
• What was the last thing you did to make yourself feel seen?
• Do you feel like you put the same vim and energy into your platonic relationships?

If not, it may not be too late.

Find out what’s important to them—whether it’s words of affirmation, acts of service, or simple consideration—and speak that language.

And I hope that even in your own silence, you would still feel loved—based on how you’ve shown up for yourself.

Till next time. Stay up.

Comment, repost and share. Thank you for your continued support.
You are highly appreciated.

#WordsOfWednesday

© 2025 #WhatTheHeckMan

How Would You Know Your Life Has Changed?

If your life changed—actually, let me rephrase—when your life changes, how would you know?

I always find it curious and interesting for us to understand the markers in our lives that indicate change. Does it mean more money? More access? A better friend group? A more accomplished circle? Maybe even more fame, to be honest. But I’ve come to understand that the change in our lives might not be obvious to everyone. If we drill down and look a little closer, we can often see significant indicators of how our lives have changed—or improved.

It’s a little past noon. One team in England just won the Premier League title. We’re not going to say their names, but congratulations to my youngest brother and his team on their accomplishment.

My Uber is on its way. The Uber ride from Brooklyn to New Jersey—an eight-mile drive—is going to cost me $140. Now, somebody will probably ask me, “Why didn’t you take the train?” Well, the train would have taken me an hour and 40 minutes total. I guess there were some delays. But here’s the issue: it’s not about the money, nor is it about the time.

I feel a little bit feverish—just because I feel like my emotions and my heartstrings have been tugged significantly over the last few days. I’m not in New York for a great springtime event or to have night brunches, even though I was able to work one or two into the schedule. I came here for a more somber and sober experience.

But more importantly, being able to be here at this time is one of the most significant indicators that my life has changed.

You see, I came here to support someone I care about. And historically, when I think back to similar situations years ago, I was either the “I-support-you-with-prayers” or “that’s-crazy” type of friend. But being able to rise up and be present for my friend through this situation has reminded me that my journey is not linear—and that progress is not always directly connected to joy.

What I mean by that is: this situation is not joyful. It’s not joyful at all.

But being able to show up and wrap support around the people you love should bring you joy. It does bring us joy. By far, it’s one of the biggest indicators that my life has changed.

Like I said before, whether it was long-distance friendships or even relationships or family situations that had you on the other side of the world when your closest people were going through important things—something about being able to be physically present, and not just physically present, emotionally present… to have the emotional capacity, the bandwidth, the empathy—all of those things are signs of growth.

For me personally, empathy has been one important sign of growth. When I was much younger—or even a few years ago—whenever something would happen, my first thought would be, “Oh, that sucks for that person.” But then I would be so invested in what was going on in my own life and in my own world that I don’t know that I was always the best at showing up or supporting the person in the way they needed.

So you can imagine that this bumpy ride to the airport has given me much-needed perspective and gratitude—even in sadness—to be able to say thank you to God for how much my life has changed, and for how much the lives of those around me have changed.

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Pivoting here—I have a question for you.

How would you know that the person who loves you, loves you?

Yes, there are days where I see couple pictures on Instagram or Twitter, and I honestly just roll my eyes because… are you the first to be happy? But I’ve come to find that as we go through our hierarchy of needs, community and companionship become significantly more important as our lives evolve.

And some days, I want that. I don’t want it at the expense of my individuality, nor do I want it at the expense of my sanity.

But how would you know that you are loved by someone romantically?

I’d love to find out from you. So if you could, write it in the comments section. It could be how you knew somebody you cared about loved you. It could also be how you found out that someone you cherished prioritized you.

I’d love to know. So leave it in the comments section.

I think that as I get older and wiser, it’s important to understand that love doesn’t always show up in the forms we’ve been conditioned to appreciate—whether through Disney or even through watching our own families. Oftentimes we love to try to map our own story based on what we’ve seen—our parents, our uncles, our aunts, or even our friends.

But the truth of the matter is: your love story, for what it’s worth, has to be unique.

Your love story has to be what you want it to be and what you make it to be.

More importantly—and I’ll say that again—your love story has to be what you make it to be.

So if you want romance, if you want to be swept off your feet—be light on your feet to be swept off. If you want romance that is divinely expressive, full of love through words and actions, well—get that muscle ready.

Start writing so you can be the lover you want to be. Start writing so you can be the lover you want for yourself.

Too often today, many men and women are not the version of themselves that they would date or want to spend the rest of their lives with—but they demand that in other people.

It’s important that before the requests or the demands become known, you have mastered being that lover for yourself. Being that truth for yourself.

So today I ask you: how would you know that you are loved?

But let me be more specific with that question.

How would you know that you are loved based on how you love yourself?

Something for you to think about today.

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Last but not least—summer is coming up pretty fast.

By the time you read this, it will be the last day of April. You more than likely have maybe two months to get as close as possible to the body that you want.

Lock in.

Not just lock in mentally—lock in physically. Lock in financially.

Nobody has ever said this statement before:

“For summer, we go sweet.”

Not “For April, you go no.”

Lock in.

And have a great week ahead of you.

Tell me something you have in your life right now that you didn’t have in 2019?

What are your shareable plans for the summer?

How do you know when you are romanctically loved?

Till next time, stay up!

Comment, repost and share. Thank you for your continued support.
You are highly appreciated.

#WordsOfWednesday

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