#WhatTheHeckMan · African Fiction · African Stories · Fiction · Stories · TheRantsShow

Scar Tissue 2

Sometimes, earthquakes realign things.

PART 2

I remember when I was eight years old; my friend Ezi and I found a puppy on our way back from school.
We picked him up and spent the remainder of our walk home trying to decide if we should keep him or not.
Ezi and I lived in the same cul-de-sac, so as we stood between our homes, she tried to convince me to let her take him home.
I was in love with him already. I even came up with the name we gave him – Rex.
Ezi’s family is super religious and at the time, her Gambian mom would have seen a stray pup as an evil spirit being brought into the house.
I finally convinced her to let me keep him and we would alternate every two days.
She came over with me as we converted the old empty microwave box in my garage into a dog bed. Our grand plan was to keep Rex in my room during the day and then move him to the garage at night.

Things worked well for Thursday and Friday but on Saturday when I followed my mother to the women’s fellowship at church, I couldn’t wait to get home.
I was incredibly annoyed by the fact that she wouldn’t just leave and take me home. I know many of you can relate to our parents lingering back in church for hours.
Rex needed to eat!

By the time we got home, my father was in the living room watching TV and drinking a beer.
My older brothers had not returned from their soccer games with my uncle who coached them.
As the door opened, I thought I was going to die. Right next to my dad was Rex’s cage.
I almost choked.
My dad barely even looked up as he greeted my mom. His eyes never left the game he was watching.
I wasn’t sure what to do or say about the obvious dog sitting next to my dad. I was trying to figure out what to say but before I could jump in, my mom jumped in and said

“Where did you get a dog?”

My dad glanced down at Rex who was cutely trying to get out of the box. Without even looking at my mom, he said

“I got it from a coworker moving out of town.”

“Oh, who is moving? Jim or Dorian?”

My mom followed up.
He didn’t even flinch. He said

“Not them. You don’t know Chris.”

It almost seemed as if my mom did not want to get into it with my dad.
Most of his projects ended up with her cleaning up after him or him abandoning it halfway.
I am confident that she believed he would get rid of Rex within weeks. My brothers would also fall in love with Rex instantly once they got back home.
That afternoon though, as my mother left the room, my father turned to me sitting on the couch nervously next to him, looked me dead in the eye and said

“Never hide anything from me ever again.”

I nodded as he let me play with Rex. He must have gone into my room and noticed Rex or maybe he had heard him moan.
It was the first time I ever saw my dad lie. That incident made us so close, he became my best friend and my hero.
A lie brought us close and allowed me to always live my truth with him.
Years later, I would see him lie for the second time in my life – the day they told us about my mom’s lung cancer.

Rex would be in our family for 11 years till he and my mother would pass away within a month of each other. I used to always think that Rex kept her alive.
One month after she passed, he left us too.
I remember the day being cold, really cold.
Somewhat like today.

My surgery was a few hours away and I was nervous. The only time I cried as much as I had in the last two days was that month I just described. Between Rex and my mom, I couldn’t breathe.
In many ways, I felt like both deaths were telegraphed. I knew they would happen but I did not plan for the pain I would feel after.
My dad initially hid my mom’s diagnosis from us until he couldn’t anymore and frankly, it was easier for him because they had been divorced for a bit.
Well, and my mom had been cheating on him.
It was as if she knew her time was up, so she decided to go back to her high-school/college sweetheart. They would live out the rest of her time together.
I cried more when she moved out of the house than when she died. And when Rex was put down, I lost it.

The surgery weighed heavy on me.
I was scared. All I could think of was my mother for some weird reason.
I felt like it was a curse. How medical conditions would come in and snatch happiness, hope and potential away from unassuming people.
I couldn’t stop crying.
Denzel was right there with me.
When I would stop crying and knock out, I would hear him whip out his laptop and try to catch up on work.
The man was trying.

I was two hours away from surgery when my father walked into my hotel room with his new wife.
Okay newish wife.
He tried to marry this Ghanaian lady a few years after my mom passed and that was a bust.
After my siblings and I moved out, he just stuck to teaching around the world and frankly, racking up international partners.
A few years ago, he decided to settle down with Estelle and she is an angel.
She rushed to my side and gave me a big hug, tears welled up in her eyes.

“Baby geh, are you okay?”

she said. You gotta say it in a Liberian accent to get the full effect.
I chuckled a bit as my face lit up.
Before I could respond, my dad and best friend spoke

“We got the first available flight down.”

I smiled like a kid and said

“Where are you coming from now?”

He fixed his coat as he came to give me a kiss on my forehead and said

“Kuwait… I’ve been co-directing a US exchange program there.”

I was so proud.
He channeled everything into work after mom and he really took his career to the next level.
He continued and said

“So, who can fill me in here, what’s the status and who is this gentleman?”

as he made his way towards Denzel, hand outstretched.

Denzel responded and said

“Hello sir, I’m Denzel, a friend of Leila”

My dad firmly shook his hand and looked over to me.
It was as if his eyes said

“Is this him?”

A few seconds later, my dad said

“This him?”

I nodded. Denzel kept smiling, clearly embarrassed but confused about what was happening.
My dad added

“I’ve heard a lot about you Denzel. Don’t worry, just enough, not too much.”

Everyone laughed.
With Denzel’s help, we quickly brought my father up to speed.
We were only a few minutes away when he asked if he could have the room.
Everyone left us.
He pulled out the chair close to me, sat down and held my hand to pray with me.
Once he finished praying, he just looked me dead in the eye and said

“I’ll be right here when you get out and we’ll figure this out together.”

———————————————————————

There are moments that define you and moments you choose to define.
They are not the same but operate with the general concept.
You deciding what you are willing to take and what you let take you.
I don’t really know what I expected to be the case post surgery but I just prayed that I woke up.

As I woke up, my mouth tasted bitter and it felt stiff. I wasn’t really plugged in.
I sort of opened my eyes and tried to find my bearings. Stumbling into consciousness, I felt a warm hand envelope my left hand.
Denzel.
He smiled at me and said

“Hey beautiful, welcome back.”

I rolled my eyes as I swallowed hard and replied

“I am pretty sure there is nothing beautiful about how I look right now”

He kept smiling and said

“You are always beautiful to me”

“Aren’t you so sweet?”

I gently replied.

I followed up by asking

“How long have I been out for?”

He paused as if he didn’t want to answer and then he said

“A week.”

“A week???”

I replied in shock. He nodded and said

“Yes, they had to keep you in an induced coma to make sure your body healed properly from the surgery”

I was still in shock and he said

“But you have been recovering really well though. They said your body is reacting very well to treatment and the meds.”

He continued…

“Your dad and Estelle just left about an hour ago to visit a friend.
I think someone just had a baby or something”

My mind flashed to my cousin Leah, we were born a few weeks apart. She was having her first child.
I was so caught up in everything happening that I completely forgot about it.
I asked

“Did they tell you what she had?”

“A boy”

He replied

“Finally”

I said as I smiled.

“We’ve been on a girl streak in our family for a long time. I hoped that I would break….”

I could not finish the sentence as I almost broke down.
It felt unfair to get stuck on the negatives when I was just glad that I made it out alive.

Denzel picked up on it and quickly jumped saying

“Soooooo now that you are awake? What do you want to eat?”

I held back the tears and I said

“Is it weird that I want okra with goat meat?”

He smiled and said

“Okay I gotchu. I’m gonna make you some.”

I fixed my head to the right and said

“Hold up, you can cook COOK?”

He nodded and said

“Uhhhh yeah. You thought I was joking when I told you I could cook?”

I smiled and said

“Wait a minuteeee. I didn’t think you were lying. I just thought you meant you could cook basic shit like noodles and the occasional pasta. Since we know how much you Nigerian men love adding that to your Chef kit.”

He burst out laughing and said

“Nah booboo. I cook cook and I do it well. I just don’t do it enough because I travel so much.
So I never want things to go bad.”

I was actually impressed because he clearly looked like he was telling the truth
He got up and said

“I’m gonna head back to mines and be back soon. Luckily okra doesn’t take too long to make. I’ll make it, shower and be back before you know it.”

I quickly chimed in and said

“What’s gonna be in it? Cos I love my goat meat”

He smiled and said

“Don’t worry bout it sweetheart. Don’t worry bout it. That’s that spla, that’s that spla right there.”

He kissed my forehead and grabbed his things and walked out.
I took a deep sigh.
All the emotions were about to hit me. I was out of surgery, alive and somehow I had managed to keep this awesome man around. What in the world!
As I was sorting through the emotions, the door opened and my nurse walked in.
She checked my vitals, asked how much pain I was in and how I was feeling overall.
I asked her about the details of my surgery and she said

“Overall things went well. The doctor is going to be coming around a little later though to go over all the details with you.
In the meantime, do you need anything else?”

I shook my head and she began to leave. She got to the door, stopped, turned around and said

“It’s not really my business but I think you should know that man has not left your side since the first night you got here. He has slept in that chair every night.
He’s a keeper.”

I couldn’t believe it.
I started to cry.
She walked over to me and said

“Oh no baby, don’t cry. What’s wrong? Its a good thing.”

Amidst the sniffling and sobbing, I stopped and said

“It’s not that. It just sucks to know that I finally found a good man and I’m basically about to die and he has to see me like this.”

She leaned in and gave me a hug.
As she pulled away she said

“I hear you sweetie but look at the bright side. He’s still here.
He is not obligated to and he could have run but he’s here. Focus on that.”

She was right. But all my mind could think of was, how much longer till he wouldn’t show up anymore.

————————————————
Enjoying Part 2? Great! Please leave a comment when you are done. It keeps me going. Thanks!
————————————————

“You made this?”

He nodded

“Denzel, you actually made this???”

He nodded again and said

“I told you to stop doubting meeeee”

I was shocked. Y’all won’t believe me when I say this but it was fire.
Like even better than mine.

He cooked it perfectly. The seasoning, the sliminess and the meat was soooo tender.
I was truly impressed.
He admitted buying the poundo yam from the Nigerian restaurant downtown, I wasn’t mad at it.
I had just washed my hand off when the doctor walked into the room.

Frankly, I appreciated the fact that he wasn’t trying to make small talk because I did not even want it.
He asked how I was and if the nurses had come to check on me which I told him they had.

Denzel went to sit down as the doctor began talking.
He said

“So Leila as the surgery progressed, we noticed that it would have been more damaging to make the cut that we had initially discussed. So based on the recommendation of the chief of surgery, we aborted the surgery and took some tissue graft and sewed your uterus. There is no guarantee how durable it will be in the long run but I wanted to let you know that with the right diet and medication, you should be fine.”

Have you ever really had a moment where your head was spinning and all you could hear was a ringing sound?
Like the sound was distant but also right there?
That was where I went. I left the room.
It wasn’t until I heard.

“Leila, Leila, can you hear me?”

I slowly came back into reality. My first words were

“So does that mean I can have children?”

The doctor straightened himself, glad he finally got through to me and said

“The possibility is there; although, I would advise against it because it could potentially be dangerous for you and or the child. Let’s start with getting you back to full health and then the journey of the rest of your life will continue.”

The doctor excused himself.
Denzel just sat down. I think he was trying to give me space.
He asked from his seat

“Are you okay?”

I quietly mumbled

“Uhm”

He said

“Don’t worry we’ll figure this out.”

I am not sure why but I snapped

“Figure this out? I am 28 years old.
Single. Unmarried and now I may not be able to have children and everyone keeps telling me it will be okay?
How is it going to be okay Denzel?
How?!
I want to have a family. A home.
With kids running all around it.”

My voice peaked higher as I yelled to hold back the tears

“I want to be a better mother than my mom was!
I want my own kids. I want mine!
Don’t you want kids?”

At the exact moment he stood up to answer, the door opened, it was one of the nurses coming to check on what was going on.
Denzel stood up and from his coat, a pill bottle fell and perfectly rolled towards the door.
The nurse noticed it and stopped it with her foot while bending down to pick it up.
Denzel’s words sailed into the room. He said

“No Leila. No I don’t want to have kids.”

I froze.
My eyes turned to Denzel. Denzel was looking at the nurse.
The nurse held up the pill bottle and read it.
Then said out loud

“Are you giving these to her?”

Denzel shook his head. Walked up to her with his hand outstretched to collect his pills.
I asked

“What pills are those Denzel?”

He turned around and said

“Don’t worry about them. You don’t need the stress.”

I persisted as the nurse stood glued in place.

“Tell me Denzel”

He looked at me with sadness in his eyes and said

“I struggle with bipolar disorder and anxiety. These are my pills that I take everyday.”

The nurse’s face said it all.
What The Heck Man!

~We didn’t quite get 20 comments last week, let’s see if we can do that this week and drop Part 3 early!~

End of Part 2. Please leave a comment below or on social media!

 

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#SanmiSaturdays

#WhatTheHeckMan · #WordsofWednesday · African Fiction · Erotica · Stories

Scar Tissue

The beauty in this series is your engagement. You shape this story through every comment. So leave your mark!

3:36am
I couldn’t sleep. The clubs had closed and the Denny’s across from my downtown apartment was full. The line typically circled the building on late nights. It was the only diner that stayed open late.
The noise actually was not what was keeping me awake. To be honest, I enjoyed it most nights.
From my bedroom on the 5th floor, I have watched fights break out, people make up, proposals and even someone going into labor.
In my days, I had given a peepshow or two to the non-paying customers because I forgot to close my window.
Oh, the late-night buns on display.

On this night, I really needed that sleep.
I had an early morning and I just wanted to sleep, but it had reached that intersection where you asked yourself if sleeping was the right move.
I was now worried that if I slept, I could oversleep and miss my appointment.
Reluctantly, I turned around and pulled open my bedside drawer.
It didn’t take long but I picked my player.
I repositioned on the bed and spread my legs.
Click.
Buzz.
7:30am.

I forgot to brush my teeth.
Looking up at the monitor, I was hoping I could get out of there as quickly as possible. I took a swig of the Listerine in my purse.
A few seconds later, my client returned. It was the first time I was visiting the VA office. I never knew they were this organized and rowdy at the same time.
My client, let’s call him “Jay”, leaned over and said,

“Thank you for coming with me. I hope if we can get the records here, they will help my case”

I smiled, clutched his left hand and said

“I hope so too Jay. I hope so”

He was reading a copy of the New York Times magazine and I was replying to emails from the firm when I glanced up and saw someone at the desk being attended to.
My first reaction was the internal “hell nahhh”
I sprung up, walked up to the desk and said,

“Excuse me sir, I think you just cut everyone here and ma’am, we have been waiting for hours”

I was clearly upset but I could not understand why he was smiling. From the moment I spoke, he had the biggest grin on his face.
He did not immediately respond.
I started to scan him from top to bottom. He was wearing a matching forest green tracksuit and it was soaked in sweat.
It appeared that he had just finished a workout or something along the lines.
The lady behind the counter spoke first

“Ma’am, he is…”

I didn’t let her finish, I asked him directly

“Is there something I said that was funny?”

The smile on his face slowly disappeared and then he said

“Hi, my name is Denzel. It is a pleasure to meet you this fine Saturday morning.
I apologize if I cut in ahead of you. It was not my intention to be rude”

He then turned to the lady behind the counter and said

“Please see that she is attended to immediately”

And then he walked away.

The lady behind the counter, Anita, from her name plate, rolled her eyes and began to attend to me.
She gave me a few documents and said

“Please fill this out with your client and bring it back to me. You don’t have to wait in line”

I grabbed the clipboard, my documents and pen while turning around to sit down. Then I heard her say

“Oh by the way ma’am, that man wasn’t cutting the line. His company sponsors weekend hours with the government. He is a senior manager there and our liaison.”

I wanted the ground to swallow me up.
How did I make such a fool of myself? You see why I tell you I needed more sleep?!
Fuck!
I walked back to my seat next to Jay. As I sat down he said with a smile

“Don’t worry about it, we’ve all had embarrassing moments”

We both giggled, I did so wishing the ground would open up and swallow me.

The first hand embarrassment sat in my throat as I helped Jay complete the documents. We were rounding up when I heard a voice.
It said

“Hello sir, do you mind giving me your seat for just a few minutes?”

I looked up and it was Denzel. That beautiful smile brightened up his face.
I was so lost in it, I barely noticed as Jay slid over. He also had this sheepish smile on his face.
Denzel sat down and said

“I hate to interrupt but as I walked to my car, I realized that I would be incredibly unfulfilled if I did not get your number and a chance to know you better.
So, my name is Denzel and if you wouldn’t mind, I would love your number, please”

I wanted to blurt out the numbers but for whatever reason, these words came out next

“And what if I don’t give out my number to men I don’t know?”

Unflustered, he smiled again and said

“Well, this is our second meeting and you know my name. So technically, you know me. I just don’t know you…yet”

He wouldn’t stop smiling.
It made me want to smile too, actually, I think I was smiling already.
I replied

“Well since I already embarrassed myself today, I guess giving you my number won’t hurt”

He handed me his phone and I typed in my number and saved my name.
He looked down at the phone and smile as he said

“Leila. That’s such a beautiful name”

He rose and stretched out his hand to shake mine

“Well Leila, it is a pleasure to meet you. I have to run now but I will text you as soon as I can”

I nodded with a smile as I shook his hand.
He turned to leave and said

“Thank you sir and Leila, I have a feeling we’re going to be really good friends”

At that moment, I was so glad I didn’t oversleep.


Two weeks would go by before Denzel and I would see each other again.
It turns out that right after we met, he headed to the airport and was on a work trip for two weeks.

Asides from the first two nights after that Saturday, we had talked on the phone every night and texted through most of the days.
He worked for an investment firm based out of Silicon Valley with projects all over the world as a global lead. Somehow in the two weeks, he had come up with a nickname for me “Bono”. A nod to the music icon but also a reference to the fact that I led the pro-bono department at my law firm.

If there was one thing that was truly beautiful about talking to Denzel, it was how easy it was to talk to him.
Nothing felt forced or pressured. He was so well versed in most topics that we had content for days. Never a dull moment.
We locked in a time for our first date.
It was the Saturday he got back. I wanted him to rest after his long flight from Amsterdam, but he was adamant that he wanted to see me.
We set the time for 8pm.

Funny enough, I was ready.
Typically late but on this day, I was ready. READY.
I was on the phone with my girls when the text message came through

“Hey beautiful, I’m outside”

The girls teased me because I actually looked really excited.

“I’ll call y’all later babes”

Sharon said

“No you won’t. Especially if you getting it on tonight”

I giggled and said

“That ain’t happening…at least not tonight”

Ezi said

“LOL”

“Bye ladies”

I said cheekily as I tapped the red circle on the screen.

Hair check.
Reapplied my lip stick.
Fixed my blouse.
Checked to make sure I had my cards in my purse and ID.
Pepper spray.
Full body check.
And now I was ready.

As I stepped out of the building he was standing by the passenger door, leaning on the car and pressing his phone.
He looked up as he heard my footsteps.
The first words out of his mouth were

“Wow, you look amazing”

I smiled and replied

“Thank you”

He opened my door and closed it before walking around the car to hop in.
As he started driving, I could feel how much I was liking him come through.
There was just something about the way he gripped the wheel.
I finally said

“You clean up really nice as well”

Looking at his buttoned down shirt inside his dark blue blazer.
He smiled and said

“Much better than a tracksuit, I reckon?”

I smiled and mimicked him

“Reckon… who even says that?”

That was one of the jokes we had – me teasing him about growing up in London and South Africa. At various points, he sounds like a completely different man.

“We brits!”

He chimed back.
I laughed and teased him about the fact that he had now lived in America for almost 10years and he couldn’t claim to be British anymore.
We laughed and he kept driving.

A few minutes later we pulled into the parking garage. It was a short walk to the restaurant where we were having dinner.
Such a cute little spot by the water. You could hear the music playing out of it as we walked up.
He checked us in and we were quickly sat at our table.

It was a “wine” restaurant. I feel like there is a more formal name for it but it’s escaping me right now, so that would have to do.
Basically, the wines are the entrees and the bites plus meals serve as the sides.
We got an 8 rack which gave us a glass each of eight wines in the category we chose.
They were mostly sweet because that is what I liked but one or two were dry and crisp like he liked.

The conversation was beautiful, we talked about everything from how I decided to be a lawyer to him being a son of a diplomat and living around the world.
We talked about my dog that I just had to put down, dating in San Diego, and even the Farmer’s market.
Immigration and women’s rights did not get left out either. I had to make sure he did not vote for Trump.

As the night wound down, we agreed to take a walk by the waterfront and sober up while still talking.
I was admiring how tall he was and how good he looked in his coat when he reached out with his left hand to hold my right hand.
He walked on the side closest to the water.
His voice was so calm, the night felt perfect and we got closer to each other as we walked.
As we strolled, he noticed a rock right in the middle of the path. He slightly broke away from me and kicked it into the water.

He jokingly jogged and stretched out his hands like a soccer celebration while cheering himself.
I said

“Oh look at you! World Cup winner eh?”

He smiled and said

“You don’t know that I scored the winning goal at the last World Cup?”

We both chuckled.
I added

“Look at you soccer player. I bet I could outrun you right now”

He stopped and faced me while continuing to walk backwards as he said

“That’s unfair because you’re a runner but I am pretty sure I could still take you”

The competitor in me jumped out and I said

“I’ll take you on this lawn right now”

He said

“In those heels?”

I stopped and started to take them off.
He seemed surprised but up for it.
I pulled the shoes into my hands and I pointed down the field and said

“First to that pillar over there”

He said

“Let’s get it!”

We lined up next to each other and I counted

“On your marks, get set….. GO”

He took off!
I started to wonder why I even agreed to it, he was so much fitter than me.
He was gone and I was laughing while trying to catch up with him.
Suddenly, it got dark.
And I couldn’t feel my legs.
Seconds later, I could feel the wet of the grass from the sprinklers on my hair.
I heard his voice get closer as he screamed in panic

“Leila, Leila… can you hear me?”

I faintly saw him as my eyes closed.
That was the last thing I remember.


I woke up in the hospital.
Confused, I tried to look around and find my bearings.
I couldn’t see much around me. I was too weak but I was scared that something bad had happened.

Before I could turn, Denzel was standing next to the bed – holding my hand.
He whispered

“It’s okay Leila. You’re okay”

I had a tube down my throat, so I could not speak.
I wanted to make sounds and ask him what had happened.
Just as I motioned, the doctor and my nurse walked in.

“Hi Ms. Leila, how are you feeling?
Nod if you’re feeling okay”

I nodded.
He looked over to Denzel and said

“Who are you sir?”

He straightened up and said

“Ummmm… I’m her friend”

He looked around and said

“Well, if it’s okay, I have some confidential information to share with my patient, would you mind stepping outside the room?”

Denzel looked at me as if to confirm that he was stepping out.
He stepped out as the nurse took out the tube from my mouth.
My mouth was bitter and I was trying to swallow but it hurt too much.

The doctor looked at me and said

“I am really sorry that you are going through this at this time but I am so glad you made it in when you did.
We did some scans and we discovered that you have a hole in your uterus.
It led to some internal bleeding and is probably what caused you to pass out.
We can try to manage it going forward but my recommendation would be surgery as soon as possible.”

It hit me like a ton of bricks.
I think I just froze there. Thinking back now, I am sure that I was actually crying.
He leaned in and said

“I know it is scary but I promise, you are in the best hands. Everything will be okay”

It took me a few minutes to gather myself and I said

“Can I have a few minutes to think about it?”

The doctor and nurse nodded and stepped out of the room.
Denzel walked back in towards me.
As he smiled at me, I broke down.
He walked over to the bed and without saying anything, he just held me.

Tears. Snot. Fears.
What the Heck Man!

End of Part 1. Please leave a comment below or on social media!

~Release part 2 early? 20 comments and we have a deal~

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#SanmiSaturdays

© 2020 #WhatTheHeckMan

#WordsofWednesday · Art · Fiction · Poetry · TheRantsShow

Content

“Contentment”

Growing up, my mother always made a point to teach us about contentment.
We were raised to appreciate what we had – however little it was.

It became a guiding principle.
When I graduated college and went into nonprofit work, some of my friends with engineering degrees went into $60,000+ jobs while I made a measly $28,000 per year.
I never saw them as better or myself as less than.
I have always been financially sound and economical. We took the same vacations and ate at the same places. I was able to contribute always.
I was always content with what I had.

This piece has been on my mind for a few weeks now because I have been thinking about contentment from a place of having more than enough.
Over the last few years, there has been very little in my life that I have not been able to have.
One area of my life that has been easier than others is attraction from women.
Sometimes without even trying, I get people that express themselves or want to be with me.
It is scary and unnerving.

I can look at a person in my life and say “if I really wanted them, I could have them”
It’s been that “easy”.
But how does one stay content in abundance?
Those weren’t lessons that we were taught as kids or even young adults.
So I’ve been having that dialogue with myself internally about what maturity looks like.
It’s not always being able to be okay with not having, it’s being okay with having enough.

What is enough you ask?
We chase after money, status, growth, promotion, and in many cases, we do it relentlessly.
We are encouraged to go beyond what we currently have.
Enough is when that internal clock tells you that you shouldn’t be going for that extra.
Usually when you are eating, there is something called a satisfaction point.
It’s the point before your stomach starts to stretch itself to accommodate that extra spoon of rice.
Where eating is no longer for pleasure but out of greed or survival.

Update added on 3/11/2020: Most of this piece was done more than 3weeks ago but something happened last night.
I got texts from two people in both situations, there was enough said to make me turn my head.
Reconsider.
Re-explore.
Be discontent.
But I am thankful for the thoughts that reminded me to focus on me. What I have and I am building.
Staying where I am chosen and not seeking more, the more may seem glamorous but isn’t always so.
Contentment is being okay in the unknown but having faith and discernment to hold firm.

Abundance comes with responsibility.
Ease of access comes with self-control – in any walk of life.
As I grow and morph into better versions of myself, I hope I retain the ability to say no when I don’t even have to ask the thing in question.

Till next time, stay up!

Please Leave a Comment Below!

Thank you for reading!

Please comment, retweet and share. Thank you for your continued support.
You are highly appreciated.

#WordsOfWednesday
© 2020 #WhatTheHeckMan

Fiction

I Choose You: To the Man, I Want to Be

Eniiwaju. Adewus. The Wordsmith. Legend.

Eniiwaju,

Thank you for persevering, for evolving and believing in yourself even when the chips are down.
You are gifted, talented and a kind person.
Some may read those and think I’m arrogant but after spending much of my adult life doubting and being afraid of my genius, I am reclaiming my slay.

The concept of the man I want to be has been sitting with me lately. People make the jokes about turning 30 soon and getting old or achieving this or that but the truth it, I just want to be a good man.
I want to be a man that my friends are proud of, that my parents and family rely on and that God is delighted in.

Earlier this week, I was faced with having an uncomfortable conversation with a friend. Tell the truth and hurt their feelings or be silent and it would blow over. I spoke up.
It was still hard but it’s more of the man I want to be.
A man of his word even in the most difficult.
29 is about challenging myself to be my best. I will be the man I am proud.
Thank you for watching me grow over the last 6-7years.
More creativity coming and more of Adewus, The Wordsmith that you will be proud to call your own.

Let’s get it! But before that, let’s review 2019 and project aspects of 2020.

Happy Birthday to Me!

This is me all through 29.

Faith: I started reading my bible again and truly taking my service in his vineyard more serious. We are on the path to redemption and taking my place in my home.

2019 Final Score – C+
2020 Expected Score – B+

Fitness: I’m back in physical therapy. It will go a long way towards me being whole again. I am also back in therapy, so mind and body will be touched this year.
I completed the 75Hard Challenge which was 75 days on a strict regimen. If for that alone, I killed 2019. More to come!

2019 Final Score – B+
2020 Expected Score – A

Creativity: I need an editor. I have so much written already. To my old editor, I know you will read this. You working with me on this forged a huge part of our friendship as well, let’s actually start our journey back?Y’all should beg my editor to come back o. If you want good and consistent content, they need to come back to full-time work. Seriously.

2019 Final Score – C-
2020 Expected Score – A

Finances: Around this time last year, God blessed me with a nice promotion to kick off the year. It was unexpected.
When I was laid-off in June and finished working in June, I was shook and depressed. I had goals! I had things to pay off. So much I wanted to do.
It derailed me a bit and that is why the score I have given myself is lower than I expected/projected but I think the thing it most emphasized is the fact that I need to save more and be extra diligent with my planning.
God almost doubled my financial blessings last year and I am so grateful. It has already positioned me to be able to do more.
I am going to be really aggressive this year.
So….

2019 Final Score – C+
2020 Expected Score – A+

Relationships: I have already committed to doing love right this year. I want to do it without fear, caution or trepidation.
Last year hurt. Like my love life was the ghetto – ratatata. I was stressed and unhappy.
I am ready this year.
First step this year is self-love. I am back in therapy and I am going to take care of me first before opening the door to external love.
My biggest prayer is that I am ready for the woman ready to choose me without fear and love me unapologetically.

2019 Final Score – F
2020 Expected Score – B

I will be back to update you on 2020 in 2021 but till we get there, let’s enjoy so much content to blow your mind this year.
Remember, you are AMAZING and I will celebrate you and with you all year.
Happy Birthday to US!

Thanks for reading as always!

Thank you for commenting. Here is to a fun 2020!
You are highly appreciated.

WordsOfWednesday/Birthday!

© 2020 #WhatTheHeckMan

Fiction

Bang!

We come to the people that hurt us for healing or decide we won’t move or heal until they validate the hurt they caused us.

– Adewus

Today I had a conversation with an abuser.
It was simple.
The FaceTime call came in, I answered at the office and the person asked one question.

“How do you know this girl?”

Not “how was work?. How are you?”
A woman I had never met before.

The next hour would be spent talking through their feelings, assumptions and perfections of me.
Then I stopped.
I noticed that my mood had changed, I was upset.
Heavy hearted.
And then thankfully, I had the presence of mind to remind myself that this wasn’t about me.

Said person had made me doubt myself before, question my purest thoughts and even start to feel like I was unworthy of love.
It got me thinking, why do we allow ourselves to go blind to the dangerous things that burned us before?
There is a need to continue to litigate our hurt and pain. We want to fully understand, conceptualize, rationalize it and then play chess master in trying to run the game again to this time, avoid the same outcome.
It hardly ever works.

Recently, I was exploring a friendship that I have been nurturing in private for almost a year. I started to ask myself recently, why haven’t we argued or fought? What is going on?
A part of me was unable to understand why the relationship wasn’t like some of the toxic ones I have had in my past.
And then it dawned on me, you have to actively realize that you are deserving of healthy liberating and empowering friendship and love.

Most of my sense of style comes from my father and growing up, he was always very particular about how we treated our clothes.
Most especially our church clothes.
He would love his shit if he saw us running around in them or not being proper in our Sunday best.
He used to say “it is not about the clothes really but some people will stain your clothes; knowingly and unknowingly”
Some know that their hands are dirty.
Others are unaware but if you allow yourself to continue spending time in spaces that have mud, whether they meant it or not, you will get stained.
Leaving the door open to an abuser is a direct bath to misery. Not always because they intend to but because that all they bring to the table.

You don’t kick someone out, change the locks and then give them the new code to your house so they can see how beautiful it is inside.

-Adewus

I’ve been actively running from friendships that don’t bring me peace, ground me while lifting me up.
As someone who immensely feels things, “losing” friends can be extremely hard but as I get older and wiser, I am starting to understand the value of protecting my peace. My sanity. My peace of mind.
Those things are not “pretty”. They are not always pronounced or easily discoverable like confidence or the glow but they are incredibly important.

It is also important to understand the triggers and the ways we enable abuse in our own lives. We have to take responsibility for it.
Most importantly, we have to we have to keep all the negatives out.
You don’t kick someone out, change the locks and then give them the new code to your house so they can see how beautiful it is inside.
Nobody does that.
You are responsible for genuine happiness and growth this 2020.
So block her, don’t call him back, delete his album on your phone. Breathe.
You got this.
Take control of your peace. You will be better for it. Your world will be grateful for it.

Till next time,

Stay Up!

Please Leave a Comment Below!

Thank you for reading!

Please comment, retweet and share. Thank you for your continued support.
You are highly appreciated.

#WordsOfWednesday
© 2020 #WhatTheHeckMan

Fiction

Alarms

WordsOfWednesday

Alarms.

I remember the two times in my life that I slept through an alarm. The most recent was a couple of years ago after returning from Nigeria. I was so tired and sick but I had planned to go into work the day after I got back (bad idea).
I woke up around 3am and I couldn’t go back to sleep. Nothing was working.
So I decided to drink some NyQuil.
My thoughts were “at least it would knock me out for a few hours”

A few hours turned to waking up at 12pm. My manager in New York had called a few times looking for me and such, I was stunned when I woke up.
I stared at my phone and thought it was a mistake.
It wasn’t. I fixed the situation by thinking on my feet but damn it got me.

Alarms are annoying.
They are loud, obnoxious and necessary. Many times, anything that is a combination of all those things is not typically fancied.
They interrupt beautiful unearned but deserved sleep and cut short those dreams of you and Idris Elba or better yet, you and I.
Freaking alarms!
They however, are the focus of my piece today.

A few days ago, I began to think about how we use alarms in reference to our goals.
Many of us ignore the first alarm aka the first opportunity to take a leap at something.
Think about it, most of the ideas/goals/dreams/opportunities you have, come from various places but most fail to act the first time.
How many times have you thought about that business?
Or that trip? That job or that relationship?
And how many times have you hit snooze?

Alarms are similar to those goals.
We love to ignore the first sound of them, the first time the challenge comes or the first jolt into a new level.
We silence it.
And even for those that have decided to step up to the challenge, many still don’t.
You know how?
They set multiple alarms back to back. Basically using them as a safety net.
Eventually getting up but taking the long way and ignoring the calls to action.

Imagine not executing because you have placed multiple fail safes along the way. But what happens when you snooze too long and you “oversleep”?
Miss your opportunity to get ahead or set the tone? That you take your time and wait but someone else has now executed on your vision or gained more of the market share.
Many of us miss out on chances to be great because we ignore the first alarm. The first sound, call to action or simply, the first reminder.
Now I am not asking you to jump at everything immediately. There is value in being strategic.
But always know this, there is not fatigue felt on the day of victory.
I am not like Steve Harvey telling you not to sleep, please enjoy your sleep but remember you are working towards a life where alarms are not annoying but simple reminders of new opportunities for greatness.

Next time you hear the first sound at being great, jump at it.
You’ll be better for it and so will the rest of your world.
Till next time, stay up.

Stay Up!

Thank you for reading!

Please comment, retweet and share. Thank you for your continued support.
You are highly appreciated.

#WordsOfWednesday
© 2019 #WhatTheHeckMan

Fiction

The August Visitor

4 Prayer Points at August Holy Ghost Service

  • The perfect job for me by Monday night and (redacted). The offer came on a Monday afternoon.
  • (redacted)
  • Perfect healing for me, mummy and everyone in my family.
  • Divine happiness this year and explosive miracles.

On June 28th, I walked into my office in San Francisco. It was a regular Friday – nothing special.
Well, except my boss was going on vacation for 3weeks.
I was kinda stoked. Not because he was annoying or overbearing but I was planning a vacation as well.

My boss had scheduled a meeting for that afternoon. It was unusual because we typically met on Wednesdays and Thursdays if needed.
I totally saw nothing of it.
I walked in and I was told that the business had decided to cut my vertical and essentially put jobs of almost 350 people in limbo.

That weekend, I battled through shock and depression to clean up my resume and start applying. July 4th holiday was the following week. I battled through this unexpected news to go out and hang out with friends.


It has been a rollercoaster ride.
From certainty to doubt and disbelief while sadness continued to show its ugly face.
In May, a lot had happened that caused me to tap into my savings and essentially drain it for family stuff.
So when this happened in June, I questioned God.
I would randomly burst into tears and begin to imagine how I would be able to take care of my family and my bills.
I was like God, you made me the head to now put me to shame?

One song that I always sang through it all was Freke Umoh’s “You Are My God”
We cannot call on your name
and end up in shame (no way)
We cannot kneel before Jesus
and kneel before a man (no way no)
I cannot bow before Yahweh
And bow to recession (no way no)
(No way, no way)
I cannot cry before the Lord
And cry to depression
(No way, no way)
You are my God
You are my God
You are my God
You are my God

I kept saying there is no way I could worship and serve you and you will let me be put to shame!
No way!
I would sing that song over and over! I could never finish singing it without crying.

Very quickly, a company reached out to me and I was sure they were the one. Their office was in Oakland and so close to the house. I was so happy that I would not need to drive far and I would have a job really quickly after leaving the other one.
Welp.
The interview went well and I got some useless rejection email.
God said “I have better for you”

I must say that through it all, EVERY ONE of the few people I told about my situation was incredibly confident that I would get something soon.
Confident to the point of arrogance that it somewhat annoyed me. Like I’m out here unemployed and you are here confident I’ll get another one. How???
I kept pushing.

More interviews rolled in after one powerful Holy Ghost Service at church – August 2nd.
We were told to write down 4 things we wanted by the end of the month. I wrote mine in this same note page that I’m writing this and I kept praying.
I am writing this mid-air on the way to Cancun for my friend’s bachelor party with 2 offers in hand and waiting on more.
I knew I was going to share this with you all once God did it. When I got my last job, I know how much it inspired many people that reached out to me. That same God did not put me to shame.

Imagine that leaving that job, I have been blessed with a 41% salary increase. It is unbelievable how this God moves!
Before I left my last job, I was annoyed that I was only given a 4% increase in a year that saw “exceptional growth and promotion” – their words.

I remember a few years ago when God had blessed me with a promotion and I was trying to record an IG video and I burst into tears, some people teased me and called me names for crying in public.
But believe me when I say this, this God is tooooooo good o! And I will never be shamed into hiding what he has done for me and my loved ones.

I was kinda tense about when the job would land in my hands. Let me tell you about the day it came – I was in the gym working out when I got the official offer letter.
When I saw the amount they were giving me and the perks – I literally laid down face flat, sweaty and broke into tears on the gym floor.
Nobody likes embarrassment but if that’s how he wants to keep blessing me and showing out, I am here for it 100%

A song that has been in my heart over this trying period is Mercy Chinwo’s Omekannaya.
There is a part of that song that says
“They may not understand
How far you’ve brought me
Man may not understand”

I cried o. Even as I was going through it, people were calling me and demanding or wanting things – me that I was deep in my valley. I remember tweeting something to that effect.

It literally humbles me and reminds me that this God that created the earth and the 7billion in it, knows me by name and treats me special.
For those of you going through a trying time and wondering why and if God is listening, he totally is and he is working a miracle for you.
Hold on and keep the faith. Never stop praying and believing. He is never late, he is always on time.
Ask that he allows you to let his will be done and that you are aligned with what he wants for you.

Let me tell you, that same job that I was crying about, that same company just fired 50% of its staff.
And the stock dropped billions of dollars and I am on a new team that respects and values me and my input.
A few weeks ago another song kept me going – Mercy Chinwo’s Incredible God.
Extraordinary strategist, impossibility specialist,
You made the earth your footstool, Incredible God.
You’re seated in heaven,

This God knew that ship would sink and he removed me from it, put me on dry land and kept me.
Life will throw curveballs at you but God is playing a completely different game on a totally different level.
Your life and story will be a testimony – I truly believe it.
Thanks for continuing to rock with me. I’ll be here to celebrate with you.

Till 2020,

Stay Up!

Thank you for reading!

Please comment, retweet and share. Thank you for your continued support. See you all in 2020!
You are highly appreciated.

#WordsOfWednesday
© 2019 #WhatTheHeckMan

#WordsofWednesday · Life · Nigerian Writers

Start to Finish: Deciding to Win at life!

#WordsOfWednesday

Start to Finish

Written by @adewus4real

When was the last time you were truly in love?
And it blossomed into a beautiful garden?
When was the last time you started and finished something?
For most people, you are still reading but passively trying to remember the last thing you saw till the end.
The last time you stuck to a diet or finished a project.
What about that thing that you promised to learn how to do?

I’ve been thinking about the idea of completion and how it fosters confidence and growth.
Thinking about my life, I realized there weren’t many things that I have truly seen through.
Of course, I can count my two degrees and such but how many goals over the years have I been committed to all the way?
How many times have I decided to lose weight and quit once I started seeing some progress or life trials came knocking?
How many times did I decide to jump back in and once I dipped my toes in, I got flustered and ran?
Continuously, we fail to follow through.
It doesn’t make us bad people or people without integrity, sometimes life is just – hard.

But over the course of the month of June, I decided to take up ONE thing and crush it.
And that was my fitness.
I committed to going to the gym/working out at least 4-5 times a week.


From the picture above, you can see that I did it.
The confidence I got from that is what I am now transferring to my daily routines – skincare, teeth hygiene, prayer and daily devotion.
I used to get weary about being able to continue something for a long time or the rest of my life.
A part of me realized that it was because I was trying to build steady routines in 5 conflicting areas of my life at once.
I had to step back and carefully reassess.

I started the #75HardChallenge on Sept 1st and I am not just looking at it to be a physical transformation but a reminder that I truly can do this.
Completely reset my whole thinking and tap into a level of grit that I have never really tapped into.

Today I’m writing this to encourage myself and you as well. Select ONE thing, one muscle that you can strengthen over the next month or so. Once you complete that, you can translate it to something else and then another and another.
For me, I kept thinking about how relationships are and how I have some anxiety about being stable for long periods of time.
I had to remind myself to stay small.
Conquer a month, then two and then six before you know it, you know how to do it.

So pick up that book, go on that date, hit the gym again or just take time out to love yourself each day.
There is beauty in completion. There is strength in perseverance.
One of my favorite quotes says “there is no fatigue felt on the day of victory.” I agree completely.
So what are you committing to over the next month?

Please leave a comment below. (can you do that? lol)

Stay up!

Thank you for reading!

Please comment, retweet and share. Thank you for your continued support.
You are highly appreciated. 

#WordsOfWednesday
© 2019 #WhatTheHeckMan

#WordsofWednesday

Pills, Pain & Depression

Pills, Pain & Depression

As I write this, I am standing and leaning on my standing desk at the office.
My right leg is folded and on my desk chair behind me.
This morning, it was hard to get out of bed as it sometimes has been for many days in the past 3 years.

On August 12, it will mark 3 years since I tore my ACL playing football.
It was a non-contact injury. I overstretched for a pass and I heard it pop and crack. Everyone told me to get up and stop being dramatic and put ice on it.
I did that for a few weeks before getting an MRI – blown meniscus on both sides and a torn ACL.
3 surgeries later, the pain is still very familiar as is the sinking feeling in my stomach every single time I think of playing again.
I love(d) playing, competing and just being amongst other men.

I remember I would save up all my aggression and road rage until I was ready to go and play on Saturday mornings. I would yell at people, pick fights and just let loose.
And for 3 years now, that outlet has not been there.
Thinking back to who I was before the injury and who I am now, one thing is clear, I’ve changed.
I was a bit more social, although I felt like that side of me was fading.
I was going out less and trying to focus more on honing the man I wanted to be. Now, it is almost impossible to get me out of bed, even to go and get my check daily.

Many mornings, I wake up before my alarm and lay there. There is a warm sensation in my right shin and my knee is always sore.
I am used to popping pills – only pain pills. I have had people recommend CBD oils and marijuana for pain management but mehhhh.
I don’t like myself and not because I love myself any less but not many people know what it feels like to not feel whole.
To not feel complete.
Body parts are complete but not functioning right and it is incredibly hard to explain to anyone.
So yes, you start to want to take less care of yourself. I remember one evening, I was in so much pain I cried and then I punched my knee for 3 minutes.
It obviously swole like Agege bread in water but I didn’t care.
I was angry and depressed.

For years, I battled suicidal ideation and depression on many fronts. Like knowing the things that triggered me and how best to avoid them.
But how do you avoid your own body?
Knowing that you are basically the one keeping the door open.
Somedays, it is the quickest mood switch and it makes it hard on the people that love you.
Yesterday, for example, I was talking to someone I truly enjoy talking to but I was in so much pain that I immediately got into a sour mood.
I didn’t want to speak or be spoken too.
That is who I am now but it is not who I am and that itself depresses me further.

Somedays, the pills work. Therapy works. Love works. Prayer works.
And then it doesn’t.
Then I am left with my thoughts and tears.
And when I smile, people think I am happy. People invite me to things and some have even stopped inviting me because everything feels like a chore.
Taking the trash out, driving to the airport or practice or simply giving a fuck.
I know I don’t want to be this person or live my life in pain and surrounded by pills.

There is not much you can do.
Say a prayer if you can.
But I know there are many like me out there. Smiling but hurting.
Beautiful smiles like mine (been told) but broken “bones”.
Remember to go that extra mile to check on people, even the ones that promise you they are fine.
Behind the smiles, the truth lies and the truth they say hurts but this pain, this one hurts more.

Thanks for reading as always!

Thank you for commenting. Here is to a fun 2019!
You are highly appreciated. 

#WordsOfWednesday
© 2019 #WhatTheHeckMan

#WhatTheHeckMan · #WordsofWednesday · African · African Fiction · African Stories · Art · Bloggers · Drama · Erotica · Fiction · Life · Nigerian Writers · Oakland · Poetry · Sex · Stories · TheRants · TheRantsShow · Uncategorized · Wirting

The Fixer

The Fixer

“I am so tired.
I am tired. I don’t need any encouraging words or “it will get better”
I am tired.
For the last 10 days, I have been dealing with family stuff as someone has been unexpectedly and worryingly sick in my immediate family.
Putting on a strong face and trying to keep it all together but dying inside.
I am so stressed. I want to cry every day but I feel like I am too strong. I need to be strong to hold it all together.
Parking was a fucking shit show this morning because of stupid construction happening in the fucking high of the day!
Took me over an hour to park. I hate everyone and everything.
My parents lied!
They promised me, forced me to get stupid degrees and promised to pay my student loans.
I make enough but the costs never stop.

Like that was money I was still thinking I would use to buy the rest of the shit I need for Nigeria or even pay for lodging!
I just want to close my eyes and everything ends.
I am tired.

I don’t want to feel all this pain.
I don’t want to be strong.
Don’t fucking know why I am typing this to you but idk.
FUCK THIS SHIT!”

I hit send on the text message, placed my phone to the side of my bed and I closed my eyes.
Seconds later, my mind was racing. I was filled with remorse and regretting even opening up.
I wanted to pick up my phone but this was not WhatsApp, this message was not getting deleted or erased.

The sunlight beamed through the blinds as I woke up. I picked up my phone and looked at the notification panel.
1:38pm.
Fuck! How did I sleep for so long?

I sluggishly got up, weaving through my notifications and apps, I ignored my bible app reminder and went straight for my iMessage.
As I pulled it up, I noticed that my message from the night before had been read four hours prior but no reply.

Fucking Kamal.

……

“Tobi, where are you?”

I heard him chuckle over the phone and he replied

“Chill, I’m coming”

I growled and snapped back

“Tobi, you said you have been coming since morning. If you couldn’t come, you should have just told me and I would have found a way to come and get it.
Where are you now, so I can come and get it?”

I could tell my anger took him by surprise as he said

“I’m already on my way to you. I’m bringing it”

I replied

“How long?!”

“15minutes”

He snarled back.

Click. The call was over.

The next roughly 15minutes were sooo annoying!
One thing I hate more than anything else is being made to wait.
I needed that bag and what is more annoying is that I gladly would have gone to get it myself.
But here I was waiting on someone who didn’t see the urgency in what I needed.

When he pulled up, I opened the door and let him in.
His first words didn’t help because I was doing everything within my power to not snatch my purse from him.
He smiled and said

“Why are you so angry?”

I took a deep breath and said

“Tobi, give me my purse”

He started trying to play hookie with me by running around the coffee table in the center of my living room.
I was so angry and I charged at him.
He ducked and turned around the couch, he was now standing between the couch and my dining table.
I stopped to catch my breath and I said

“Tobi, please give me my purse. I am tired abeg”

He smiled and started walking towards me with his hands behind his back, both on my purse.
I walked towards him and we were soon standing within inches of each other.
He leaned in and tried to kiss me.
I weaved and moved my head as I said

“Tobi stop. Just please give me my purse. I’m really tired”

He smirked and said

“Not giving it to you until you give me a kiss”

I turned around to walk away. I was boiling inside.
He tried to grab my forearm as I turned away. In one swoop, I swung around and smacked his hand.
There was a look of pure shock on his face, he clearly didn’t think I was going to hit him that hard.
He pulled his hand out and stretched my purse towards me.

I collected it and sluggishly walked into the room.
I opened the bag and began shuffling in the purse for what I was looking for.
I couldn’t find it.
I couldn’t fucking find it!
My eyes were getting cloudy and my heart was racing. I turned the contents of the purse on to the bed.
A parking ticket I had been putting off was amongst the contents. I hissed as I rummaged through the bag still looking for the item.
No luck.

I could feel my breath leaving me.
I got up and went towards my bedside desk. Opening the drawer, I started looking for it there.
Nothing.
I walked back to the bed and sat down.
At this point, the tears were coming down my face.
I was afraid.
My mind went blank. The last time I saw it, I was putting it into my purse.
So where could it have gone?
I stood up to head into the living room. As I stood up, I felt my legs give way and I slumped with the back of my head catching the corner of my bed.
The last thing I heard was Tobi bursting into my room.
I saw his legs as he bent next to me and lifted my head into his arms.

He kept calling my name.
I was slowly forgetting mine.
My eyes shut.

…..

“Do you know when the last time she took her medication was?”

Those were the first words I heard as I was getting wheeled into the emergency room. There was no way Tobi could have known.

As they parked the bed, the doctors tried to ask me some questions. I roughly remember what I said.
Soon there was a drip going into my forearm and I felt myself drifting off again. The last thing I remember was motioning weakly to Tobi who was sitting next to me, he rode up and stood over me.
I sheepishly whispered

“Kamal.”

He looked confused. I whispered again

“Call Kamal”

When I woke up about 5hours later, Tobi and Kamal were sitting on opposite sides of the bed, flanking me.
I could feel the tension between them. It was like a cloud over the open bed space.
Tobi must have used my Face ID to get into my phone which was what I expected anyways and Kamal, while worried about me, must have not understood why Tobi was there.

I slowly sat up and said

“Have you two met?”

Tobi shook his head and said

“I just called him like you asked”

My lips were chapped and my throat was dry. I swallowed hard and said

“Thank you”

I looked over at Kamal and smiled before continuing

“I told you to call Kamal because he knew my medication and would have been able to tell the doctors”

Kamal jumped in and said

“Yes, I told them already and they gave you a drip and a refill, you should be good to leave here later tonight or tomorrow if you want”

I slid back into the bed.
I could tell that Tobi was dying inside, I could see it on his face. He didn’t know why I fainted and here I was asking another man to come and meet us at the hospital. But, I was not about to explain at that time. I was too weak.
He tried to hold it together for a bit and then he said

“Hey- So I have to go and take care of some work stuff.
Will you let me know when you get discharged?”

I nodded.
He leaned in gave me a hug and then that “man” nod to Kamal before walking out.

As he walked out, I turned to look at Kamal.
He smiled without saying anything. I asked

“What?”

He smiled and said

“Nothing o. You just know how to pick them”

Slightly embarrassed, I replied

“I didn’t even do anything”

He smiled even more and said

“Yeah right, you never do”

He continued and said

“How are you feeling? I was worried when I got the call”

I looked down on the bed and said

“I’m fine to be honest, I just didn’t take my meds because I couldn’t find them.
But I’m good honestly”

He said

“Are you sure?”

I nodded and said

“You know me, I’m good”

He said okay and then he asked

“Are we still on for this weekend, now that you have decided to put me in a death scare”

I replied

“Ori e” – translates to “Your head” before continuing to say

“Honestly, I should be good with a day of rest and icing my head. I think I hit it on the bed when I fell.
Hurts like a MF”

He replied and said

“Lmaooooo its because your head is so big”

If I could have punched him, I totally would have.

…..

As we pulled up to the venue, I noticed that he still had his drink in the door of the car.

“You’re supposed to have finished drinking that already?”

I whined.
He smiled, picked up the bottle and downed what was left of it. I knew it was going to be a good night.
We walked to the venue and I suggested that we grab drinks before the show started.
We snuck into the connected bar and sat by the bar.

His eyes kept wandering as he was amazed by the setup. There were video games everywhere.
We ordered our drinks and I saw him googling “Mario Kart games on PlayStation 4”. Such a big kid.
I asked the bartender to surprise me with my drink and I think he ordered a Red Bull.
We took our drinks and headed into the venue, the show was about to start.
As we approached the door, we got stopped and were told to get our tickets at the box office. So we walked all the way back to the front, got the tickets and then headed in.

I could tell how handsome he looked by the stank eyes most of the ladies flashed at me. He kept beaming that smile behind me and I was all here for it.
We sat right next to each other but he turned my seat, so my back was to him and we faced the stage.
The entire show, bar when he was on his phone, his hands were on my bum.
I couldn’t wait for us to get out of there.

The show was fun. Lots of laugh, improv nights are always my favorite.
We walked out talking about threesomes – we had seen a lady with a beautiful butt. So beautiful.
I can’t remember who suggested it but we ended up at a club, a few drinks and fist pumping, I was ready to go. I had wanted to jump his bones since I picked him up at the airport.
As we walked out, I noticed this white girl who had come up to me in the club.

She was sitting down on the floor with a cup of ice.
I asked

“What happened? You left me in there”

She was so drunk and even attempting to respond to me, she knocked over her cup of ice and she looked so distraught. I felt bad but I rushed out of there so quick!
We made it to the car and I couldn’t wait to get us home. He was playing music and we were having a great time in the car and then he asked

“How far away from the house are we?”

I nonchalantly replied

“About 5 minutes”

He smiled and once we hit a red light, he leaned over and kissed me.
Then he slid his left hand up my skirt. I couldn’t concentrate.
My legs started shaking and my breathing short. He slid my panties to the side and began rubbing my clit.
I was squirming while trying to keep the car steady.
What the fuck?
I could feel the chills rising up my back. I wanted to close my eyes and let go but we were almost home.
I remember veering out of my lane and my car beeping to alert me.
I was alert alright, my pussy was ready for a beating.
To cap it off, he removed his hand, looked at me and licked my juices off his fingers.

As we pulled in the parking lot, I quickly parked.
I could hear Lil Wayne’s verse on The Motto playing in the background as he reclined my seat.
He leaned in as if he was about to kiss me. I was wrong.
He reached up my skirt and pulled my panties down.
Kissed me on the forehead and hopped out of the car.
I was soooooooo angry!
Like wtf?!

I gathered myself, pulled my skirt down and hopped out of the car.
There he was standing in the middle of the parking lot, all 6’3 260lbs of him. His left hand was to his face.
As I got closer, I realized he was holding my panties to his nose.
We entered my apartment and he sat down on the couch, I made him a drink and pulled down his pants.
I was ready to go.

His moans were my favorite part. His hands running through my hair as he cursed and told me

“This is the best head ever”

My inner thot smiled.
I stroked and slurped down his shaft, soaking his balls and drinking on to my leather couch.
I wanted all of him deep in my throat and in my guts.
He tried to fight it but wasn’t very successful.
He went silent as I stroked his dick with my left hand and juggled his balls with my right hand.
He pushed me off and walked me back to the room.

He climbed on the bed and laid on his back.
I climbed on the bed and planted my pussy on his face before leaning forward and taking in his dick – 69.
It was wet on both ends of the coast as we feasted on each other.
He pushed me off as I came and was about to lean into me, there is a full length mirror at the foot of my bed, I caught a glimpse of myself.
As I laid down, I spread my legs wide. He lowered his member into me and started slow.
Cupping my head in his hand and protecting it from the head board, he thrust in and out.
The pace picked up and my profanity did as well.
He was hitting it right.
His grip on my thighs was as hot as the depths his dick was exploring.
I could see the hunger in his eyes.
He pounded me like candied yams. I was loving it.

When he flipped me over, I was ready.
I arched my back and tooted my ass towards him. He smiled and slide into me.
I could still feel how wet his balls were as they slammed into my clit.
He grabbed the shit out of my waist and he went to work. It was as if we hadn’t seen each other in 3 months.
He kept at it and so did I, throwing it back like a third draft of a senior thesis.

I could feel welling up and getting ready with his canon.
So I wrapped my legs around his butt.
He was leaning all the way into me, I was almost falling off the bed as he pounded my pleading pussy.
I wanted it. More of it.
All of it.
He didn’t stop.
I wouldn’t let him stop.
Just as he was about to let go, I looked back, damn near from the floor and yelled

“Fill me up”

Boom.
He grunted.
Moaned and pumped me full of his warm seed.
I lay there for a few minutes as he curled up next to me panting for air.
I turned over and said

“Where are my panties?”

He smiled and said

“You’re never getting them back”

It was going to be a long weekend and I was going to enjoy every minute of it.
I rolled over in the bed as he got up and headed to the bathroom.

The lights went on and then he said

“The condom broke”

 

Welcome to my first series of 2019! Expect a lot more this year. That’s all I’m saying.
Oh also, please leave me a comment and share your thoughts. Thanks!

 

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~Part 2 drops next Saturday! Do not miss it~

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