I’m coming from my friend’s wedding as I get these thoughts in my head, heading back to my hotel. In my mind, there are many things that we as human beings want and need to keep us fulfilled, engaged, inspired, motivated, and so on. As I head home, it could be because I’ve just spent all this time around love and celebration.

There’s still a part of me that feel somewhat saddened by the emptiness of not having my person in that specific regard, like not having love, but having the secured love, and like the secured forever love, the marriage dotted line, and all that. I’d open up this piece by just saying, get you someone who polishes your shoes and irons your clothes. Now, for my women followers, I know you’re probably freaking out because you just heard ironing, but the polishing of the shoes and the ironing are both metaphors for what I’m exactly speaking about.

What I’m more speaking about is someone with the intense, whoa, whoa, whoa, what the heck is wrong with you? What I’m most speaking about is someone who considers you in the purest, most organic and non-influenced ways. I think you get to a certain point of your life where there’s an intangible that you hope that you get from your partner and the communities that you are a part of. I remember thinking about myself as I was evaluating and trying to better understand my life, decisions that I’ve made, and things of that nature.

I was exploring the things that I think I am great at and the things that probably need a bit more work. I think I am the lover that polishes your shoes and irons your clothes. I don’t know if it was an upbringing thing or if it was how I have just come to be as a man, but if we’re on vacation or we’re in, not even on vacation, if we’re in my house and we’re getting ready for date night and I intend to iron a shirt, I’m more than likely, I’m almost 100% confident that I would ask, what are you wearing so I can iron it? More importantly, one thing I’ve noticed and observed about myself is I typically would iron theirs first before mine.

It’s not lost on me why that is and it’s because I feel like if you have the skill set to alleviate stress for your partner, that is exactly what you should do. I find that one of the ways that I’ve probably felt the most let down in relationships, romantic relationships particularly, is someone who considers my shoes and my clothes first. It feels rare.

It feels like something that is not even common anymore, but a part of me still believes it possible for folks to still enjoy that reality of being able to have someone that prioritizes you and puts you first. A lot of us haven’t experienced that in a while and I think it’s important that whenever people hear things like that, they don’t automatically jump into the defense mode of, no, I definitely am that partner. I think the depth of what I’m describing is in it being a lived action where this person just shows up loving you in that particular way.

It’s not just on a good day or on the day that they’re responsible for managing you. The home or the relationship, that is who they are naturally and who they show up to be with you. Something really, really beautiful about that.

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