For that reason I only try to maintain the new phenomenon
Giving all of me
Selling dreams I make these women believe
I’ve gotten in tough situations
Now I’m stuck in a rut
Battling to fight hurt and make the right decisions
These women are not relenting
Wanting things from me
When all I’ve been truly begging
Is that they help me find me
I’m put together in front of my parents
They tell the world that I’m the greatest
But I feel like the fakest
I try to conceal
My true feelings and thoughts
Because I know maintaining the perception they have of me is a must
So I tell them what they need to hear
Keeping from them the fact that I was damn near
Near death and it’s cold embrace
But I show up to church on Sunday and pray for God’s grace
Hands lifted up
When less than 24hrs prior they were on some random girls butt
Telling God the things I promise to do not
When last night I was selling her dreams and hungry like a dog that just wanted a quick fuck
Their trying to find me
My friend’s don’t know my pain
You cannot quantify my pain
Thinking you know mine
Would be insane
Let’s all just stay on Twitter and play the game
From nudes to prudes
Memes and jokes
Fights we stoke
We gather to sell dreams and like traders in the temple
Behind simp hours and DM’s we hide
Your follower counts stay on the rise
While people’s esteems you force to commit suicide
And then you RT and LOL
But that won’t get you anywhere
See how lost I told you I was
I can’t even gather my thoughts properly for once
I have found me in this chaos
My blood pressure is high and I’m 23
Looking at my student loans I wish I just had money for the payoff
But I know I’m trapped in this realm and there is no need to for a standoff
But hey maybe I just need to fight the world
Fight the hurt
The lies and the deceit
Go and find the woman and I truly love from the heat
Stand her on her feet
While I get on my knees
Get rid of this lifestyle that’s like a disease
Maybe I will
I’ll fight the world and then lose
Maybe then someone will find my body
Actually they might not
Many of us are dead inside walking around like zombies
No don’t get upset, please
I swear I was talking to me
Do we have the same disease?
I started off this blog due to heart ache and feeling at a crossroads with all my emotions. I was depressed. Angry and fully unaware of how to deal with it all.
I had been writing for almost a decade but just collecting my work and never really putting it out for people to say. So I want to thank you as you read this, you have journeyed with me as I dealt with pain, love, heartbreak and ache, excitement, disappointment, creativity and fellowship. Today marks the 1 year Anniversary of #WhatTheHeckMan, what started off as a platform for a young man to express himself now helps push creativity and excitement for many. I sincerely say “Thank You”
Do not sleep on me, this platform or following you heart unless it leads you to burn plantain. Thank you once again for always reading, retweeting and letting me flood your timelines on Saturdays. I appreciate you all. Stay Up!
Lookout for Part 2 of my current series; TRAPPED 2 on Saturday.
Follow the writer on Twitter @adewus4real #WhatTheHeckMan
A Huge Birthday Shout to my biggest fan and motivator F.M.S, you are truly everything. Thank you for the push to start #WhatTheHeckMan. We are truly grateful. Enjoy!
⟹ ⟹ ⟹ PLAY THE SONG BEFORE READING. START THE SONG FIRST AND PLAY ALL THE SONGS
Afire Love by Ed Sheeran
We lay there backs to each other. Something wanted me to reach over but I couldn’t. This was becoming our story. This was becoming what we were identified with. But this situation only made us one thing; better actors to fit into the society because when we were out, all we had to do was put on a smile and make the whole world think that everything was fine in the Davidson home.
I could feel the sleep coming over me and I wanted to turn around and tell her I love her. I wanted to turn around and plant a kiss on her lips like I had done many times from our fornicating days till when we decided to get married. I wanted to go back to the old us. I really did.
It was about 8:30am in the morning when I woke up, she was already up. I could hear some movements in the kitchen and her space in the bed was empty. She was either doing the dishes from the dinner she made the night before or just cleaning up like she normally did.
I got up and turned around, reached for my phone. Flipped it over and looked at my emails, messages and texts. I placed the phone down.
I got up and sluggishly made my way into the bathroom. I caught a glimpse of my boner as I walked past the mirror and my small brain wanted me to put that to work. But no, that wasn’t going to happen.
Standing over the toilet bowl, I began to pee. I realized about halfway through that I forgot to lift up the toilet seat. I knew how much she hated that, she was soo going to lose it. But I finished, turned around, cut a piece of paper towel and threw it into the bowl. I washed my hands then walked out and went to the kitchen.
“Good morning baby…”
She responded in her ever so polite and quiet voice. There was something missing; the smile, the spark. Our pain had taken all of that from her. Now she settled for mere days of happiness. I asked of her plans and she said she had none except seeing her sister and stopping at the bank.
“Dinner at Sophie’s tonight?”
“I’ll let you know later. Is that okay?”
I nodded and took a sip of my coffee.
Tax season was over so I was home more and traveling less. I had been traveling a lot recently, not because I didn’t love her or want to be home but because I felt like things were changing between us and I wasn’t ready for that and tax season is the busiest time for an accountant.
I headed back to my room and walked by the room. Untouched and hardly opened. I remembered last night when she had snapped at me. I was disappointed and sad because I knew that the fight against the pain that was tearing us apart was winning and we were giving in.
I stood in front of the room and looked at the closed door. Everything in that room was vividly registered in my mind. I knew where every detail was. I stood in the doorway of our bedroom and she came into the hallway and saw me standing there.
Tears began to flow down her eyes and I turned away and walked into our bedroom without doing anything. Sad, I know but it was where we were now. Love used to reside in our home. Used to. Now we were cuddled in the arms of heartbreak and unhappiness and it was like home.
. . . . . .
It was my junior year in college and I was in a fraternity, working at a coffee shop and making up community service hours at the local library affiliated with my school down the street from campus.
That beautiful Friday morning I was restocking the books we had received overnight into their respective positions and I happened to glance at the door when a local day program for autistic kids came into the building to use our community playroom. Their program assistant was just beautiful. Like you could tell from afar that she had a great heart. I just wanted to get to know her instantly.
I stood off in between two shelves and watched her care for and direct the kids. It was so heartwarming. I must have been staring for about 20 minutes when my co-worker came up behind me and said,
“Are you going to talk to her or just stare like a creep?”
I joked and blew it off like she wasn’t my type or anything but she really was. She was the perfect foil to me; crazy and loud at the same time. She would bring so much calm and focus to my life but not until after she made me work to even get her attention.
The first time I ever talked to her, was just bad. I messed up so much. I used to think I had game but my own tongue humbled me. I had never seen it so tied and twisted as it was that day.
Towards the end of my shift, I got radioed to come and clean up a mess a kid made in the playroom her group of kids were using that day. I walked into the room with my broom and mop heading straight for the spilled bag of hot Cheetos on the floor. I wasn’t angry that it had been spilled on the floor, in fact I was more upset that I had to do that “dirty job” in front of her.
I made the mistake of being myself instead of trying to impress her by rushing to sweep it all off the ground, the crackers crumbled under the broom and further stained the carpet. Confused, I jumped down to the ground and tried to use my brush to scrub it all off and I was doing okay until, I got up and realized my blue jeans were covered in yellow cheese from the knees downwards. Wet cheese.
I looked down at my pants with the kids laughing at me and I looked up at her, she had a smile on her face; a little one. I don’t know where the words came from but in my embarrassment, I coughed up,
“What are you looking at that’s funny?”
and rushed out of the room. I noticed the smile on her face disappear and turn to surprise as I turned the corner of the tempered glass window and walked away.
I played that incident in my head many times and wished I could take it all back and re-do it. I felt I could have been smoother than I was that day. Ugh! I hated myself. It didn’t help that she would then travel for the entire summer to London for a wedding and studying abroad. I was so angry I didn’t get a second shot. But after all, they say you don’t get a second chance to make a first impression or at least something along those lines.
A few months had passed and I was running through campus one evening when I noticed her sitting down reading on the field. I was taken aback and immediately approached her. This chance was not passing me by. I came up to her and tried to chat her up but I walked away from that conversation shut down.
I remember starting with,
“Hey, how’s it going? My name is Marcel. What are you reading there?”
She responded with,
“Impact of Vicarious Trauma on Social Workers”
Obviously having no idea on what she was talking about, I tried to play it off and continued the conversation,
“Oh, that must be from the Sociology class about social problems, right?”
She looked at me, smiled with pity and said,
“No. but if you don’t mind, I have to finish this chapter”
Like a dog with its tail between my legs, I walked away till I got far enough and started running. I didn’t want to start running after I left her because I was so surprised at the exchange. I felt so little that it felt like I would have tripped over my own feet if I’d attempted to run.
I could not understand why she would not give me a chance to chat her up or get to know her. I was guessing she knew I was part of a fraternity and maybe she didn’t like them or something. I was confused and intrigued. And she never even gave me her name.
I would later run into her and her best friend one day. I immediately began chatting up her friend as a way to not get blown off. Her friend liked me. It was working. And then I invited them to a party the guys at the house were throwing.
We had been throwing parties for a while. I was always in charge of the food and at the time I was neighbors with Chad, the guy in charge of the guest list; he decided who came and who wasn’t invited. I knew that I wanted her to be there, so I walked into his room one evening and asked him that I wanted her to get a special invite for the next party.
The way our crew rolled on campus each party was unique in the way we promoted or even themed it. There was a schedule for how we threw parties; one in March, July and one usually in late September or early October. Whether, she knew it or not, she was coming. Speaking with Chad, the invites for this party were Masquerade masks. If one got delivered to you by one of the freshman pledges, you were in.
I specifically wanted to invite her to this party, so I had Chad give me her specific invite along with that of her best friend. I walked into her Sociology class during lecture and walked straight to her seat. I stood in front of her and dropped it on her desk. With a smile on my face, I said,
“Party is on Saturday, you’re the special guest. It won’t be epic without you. Don’t let everyone else down”
and began to walk away. I turned around right at the door to a startled professor and an embarrassed smile on her beautiful face. I knew I got her; I just knew it.
A few days had gone by and I had still not heard anything from her. It was crazy how I went from being extremely confident to beginning to doubt myself. I wondered why she didn’t respond and what that meant.
“Did she think I was obnoxious?”
“Full of it?”
“Too out there?”
I wasn’t sure and the silence was making it so much harder for me to think straight. I needed to see her. I needed an answer.
. . . . . .
The party was halfway through and it was about midnight. I had not heard from her or her friend and I still kept looking out for her hoping she would show up. A few rounds of beer pong, spin the bottle and a couple hits off the rotating blunt out on the porch. I was starting to forget about the disappointment of her not coming that I was actually starting to have fun.
And then backing the door, I was talking to a friend and I heard my name. It was her voice. It was her gentle voice. Funny to say gentle because it was deeper than most women but it always seemed to soothe my heart and comfort my ears. I turned around and there she was; beautiful.
She had her hair up in brown braids. She was wearing a blue blouse with brown shorts and some heels. I swear I just wanted to take a bite off her smooth cheeks as she smiled at me.
I began with sporting a huge smile on my face
“Where is your friend?”
She responded while pointing to the corner of the house.
“Well thank you for coming. I’m glad you could make it”
I yelled over all the blasting music.
She nodded and pulled me in close and yelled into my ears
“For that stunt you pulled, you owe me dinner. My pick and I’d like a drink, please…”
I pulled back from her as she shoed me away like a little child.
I smiled and turned around. She was hooked. She was mine.
Our initial few months were different from the norm. The honeymoon phase came months later into us knowing each other. We used to argue over the pettiest shit and for no actual reason except that we were both stubborn and no one wanted to cede control or get hurt. It was ruining us from building anything solid. And we knew it too.
Months would pass by and we would begin to understand each other better. Since we began to get serious my biggest issue with her was probably that whenever it got seriously bad with us or we were in a rough patch, she would pack up and be so eager to leave the relationship. Instead of rolling up her sleeves, taking the reins like she first did when I tried to woo her and impacted the relationship. She always wanted to go. It made me feel extremely inadequate and like I could not love her right. She barely complimented me and even if she did, it was always twisted to not highlight me in some way. I felt powerless whenever we argued because it would always be turned into how much I was needy, selfish and inconsiderate.
But she had a way, oh she had a way to make me happy; possibly the happiest man in the world.
It was the way she smiled, the way she talked, the way she snored. The way she looked into my eyes and drank all my bottles of water whenever she came to visit. Even the way she said, “what you ma call it?” or her obsession with Indian movies; she endeared herself in my heart.
Those were the reasons why I loved her so deeply. She motivated me to be a better man everyday.
She curbed my wild ways and helped me understand what it truly meant to love and be selfless. Out of nowhere, this woman captivated my heart and I was completely fine with it.
One night, we had been going through a rough period and walking on eggs shells, it was frustrating. A few days prior, I had accidentally hit her in the middle of trying to de-escalate an argument we were having. She knew it was an accident but she was still holding on to it much to my irritation and frustration.
This evening, I could not remember what was said, I believe it had something to do with a post I put up on Facebook. Usually something I wrote or posted to some girl. She didn’t like it and she called to confront me about it. I blatantly told her it was not about her even though I was pissed off at her for another matter. She became angry and attempted to blow me off that night. I wasn’t having it.
I got up and put my clothes on. It was past midnight. I got into my car and headed for her house. About a few minutes away, I texted her saying I was on my way and I wanted her to come down stairs but we were both only allowed two sentences each.
I got there and a few minutes later, she was in the passengers seat. No words exchanged.
Nishike by Sauti Sol
We drove to a quiet and dark empty parking lot and I parked the car. Motioning to her, we hopped in the back seat of the car. I pulled her in close and said nothing. Just holding her tight. I knew she needed to be held. She was stubborn but she was my baby. She was my Queen. I kissed her gently as I stroked her shoulder. She looked at me like she felt safe. I hadn’t done enough of that lately. Making her feel safe. I was caught up in all I wanted and how I wanted it that I would sometimes run right over her feelings and lead us into another fight before realizing what was happening. I felt bad because I didn’t want her to be frustrated or fed up. I was madly in love with her.
I motioned to her that I wanted to make love and not have sex with her. Important difference. She said okay. She actually used up her two sentences very quickly in attempting to convince me to say more words. I didn’t budge.
I laid her down and slowly took off her clothes. Kissing her softness along the way. There was something about loving this woman, it was easy. Even through all the things we had been through, there was no one else I would rather love. I took off her panties and lowered myself on her pink. It was a very direct approach. I slurped my tongue into her wet pink and slowly began to suck on her clit. It was warm, even hotter when I allowed my tongue to go inside of her to feel her walls. Both her hands were on my head directing it along the tracks. I was getting my beard covered in her wetness and it felt good. I didn’t spend too much time down there, I came up. For a brief moment, I stopped and looked into her eyes. I just could not imagine being any other place but in the back of this car with her. I hated the car, my blue Nissan Sentra that was starting to fall apart but I loved her and I loved the space we occupied. It was all I needed.
I could feel her breathing pick up pace as I lowered my member into her. Slow thrusts until my entire shaft was covered in her wetness. I held her close with my right hand behind her back for support and my left hand on the fogged window. It was hot, steamy and sweaty. The thrusts were not fast; deep but not fast. Controlled and gently paced, I could hear her moans travel through my ears and into the empty parking lot as it sailed and faded before reaching the residential homes behind us. I could feel her wetness begin to touch my balls as they gently slammed into her. Deeper and deeper, I ploughed. She dug her hands into my ass and squeezed tight pushing my hard package into her. Her right leg placed on the back of the passenger seat, her sandal had fallen while that on the other leg stayed high along with the leg on the back seat. My name was not mentioned but I could hear her loud and clear. I could feel a reconnection between us. I could feel her heartbeat on my chest as her right fingers dug into my back. It was not a matter of how much I loved her but more of how much I was connected to her. The pace never changed. It was like our body parts carried the message of the heart through each other. We held on to each other, tight. It was the safest place.
I remember we finished and lay there on top of each other. Looking out of my moon roof, talking about our journey. It was beyond a doubt that I wanted to be with this woman. I lay there and wandered if there was anything that could break us without us letting it. She was my one true love. She was my only love. I had so many names for her to ensure that she remembered she ruled my heart.
On my chest she laid, peacefully and slowly starting to fall asleep like I was and then it happened, in the dark of the empty parking lot, it happened.
We heard a knock on the glass.
It was the police and we were both naked…
I was confident that he was going to write us a ticket for indecent exposure or something but he asked for our ID’s and checked them.
Returning the cards back to us as we had rushed to put our clothes on
“It’s not safe out here”
We thanked our stars and rushed into the car. I drove slowly to her house whilst holding her hand. I glanced over a few times to her and still said nothing. I pulled up in front of her apartment. She stepped out and I did too. I walked around the car and hugged her. Wrapping her in my arms, I whispered in her ears my only two sentences
“I love you, mami”
She pulled back and looked up at me from her 5’5 place, into my eyes she searched as if to validate the apology. I leaned in and kissed her. I was sorry and she knew it. I hugged her tighter and let go to walk to my car.
She yelled into the night as I drove off. I had the biggest smile on my face. I was in love. I knew I was in love with that woman. My heart was hers.
. . . . . . .
Those were the memories we shared. That man and that woman had disappeared; gone. We had changed. Life had changed us and we had no means of making it stop.
It had been a long and draining day and I just wanted to go home and relax. I was pulling into the driveway when I remembered that we were supposed to be having dinner with Sophie and her family.
I was too tired but I was willing to do it for her. I just wanted to go to bed but I walked into the house. She was sitting down on the floor. She didn’t even acknowledge my entrance.
“Jae, how are you?”
Silence. She said nothing and took another sip from her glass. It was filled with win and there were not just one but two bottles sitting next to her.
“You’re not going to answer me? How much have you had to drink?”
I began to get angry.
I knew this. I knew this mood. I knew what this meant. This usually happened when she had been thinking a lot and wanted to get out of her head. But it wasn’t always civilized. Sometimes she would get stupid drunk and attack me emotionally with words and sometime physically.
I walked closer to her and bent down to pick up one of the bottles.
“Put it down!”
She snarled at me as she charged up at me. She stumbled as she found her feet. It was empty and she was drunk.
“Calm down baby”
I tried to lead her to the couch.
“No! No! Nooooo!!! Don’t tell me to calm ,… down..sShhh. That’s how you’ll go and marry someone else! No! Not happening! Put a fucking baby in me Marcel!!!!”
I was already at my limit; tired and frustrated. I didn’t know when I snapped back and said
“I did! 3 times already! Not my fault they never stayed!”
I looked at her. Her eyes cleared. There was a deafening silence as her heart shattered. I knew I had messed up as the words left my mouth. Fuck!
Without saying a word, she headed for the bedroom. I turned around and picked up my briefcase and my coat. I walked out of the house and into my car.
About 30minutes later, I was letting myself into my room. I sat on the perfectly laid bed and stared at the in house menu. I had no appetite but I knew I had to eat as I hadn’t all day. I reached for the phone and placed my order. Dropping the phone, I sat back on the bed and stared at the fridge while my mind raced.
“How did I get here? How did I become this guy?”
I thought to myself and then I was covered in anger and disappointment. I got up and emptied the mini bar in my fridge into my system. I was now buzzed. I was heading to my bed to lay down when I heard a knock on the door. I stopped in my tracks and stared at the door for a bit while my body tried to stay still.
I made my way to the door and slowly opened it. It was Cynthia.
“What took you so long?”
She asked as she pushed me into the room. She came up close to me and gently whispered.
“Did you miss me?”
I said yes as I lay on the bed and she climbed on me…. I placed my hands on her catching a short view of my wedding ring… Sigh.
It all got hot, really hot, really fast.
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⟹ ⟹ ⟹ PLAY THE SONG BEFORE READING. START THE SONG FIRST.
One by Ed Sheeran
It had been a couple of hours of trying to make sense of the entire thing when Sam showed up with some food. I was still angry and confused but Sam had one rule, no matter what was going on, I still had to eat. She had stopped by her house and brought some rice, smoked turkey and some “aya mase” stew. The plantain was part of the accompanying party; even death could not make me play with that. Looking frustrated like a kid who did not want to eat their vegetables, she forced me to eat. About 20 minutes later my nostrils were blazing, heat burning through my stomach and I was still angry.
“Okay, now tell me what happened. Again”
She said in her usual calm voice.
“Can you believe that bastard? My useless uncle Dele, impregnated my mother and then killed her!”
I raged out of the blocks.
“He did it! I know he did it!”
I continued physically showing signs of aggravation and anger as I clenched my fists together.
“Look at the papers”
I pointed at the sheets lying on the bed.
“She was transferring monies to him for God knows what and he was also in town the day she went for her appointment at the doctors. Why?! What was he doing there? And then he goes with them on vacation and then all of a sudden, they turn up dead and they are fine?!
No Sam! He did it!”
“Are you sure baby? That sounds like a lot to accuse someone of babe.”
Sam began with. I knew it was going to annoy me. A frown came across my face as she spoke.
“Why don’t you let the detective know what you have found and then let him do his job and find out the truth”
She was such a voice of reason for me but it was so annoying that she was telling me what I needed to hear and not what I wanted. Ugh!
“But…. I know….”
She placed her hand over my lip and walked me slowly backwards to the bed.
“Come and get some rest my king, it has been an intense and long day. You need some rest”
I gently sat on the bed as she kissed my still burning lips.
I lay on my back thinking about everything. She lay next to me. Her head on the right side of my chest; I ran my hand down her hair. I was still confused but she made sense. She was the only thing in my life that made sense.
. . . . . .
I slowly turned over and stretched out my body. I rolled within the sheets for a bit. Twisting and turning, my mind trying to ignore the reality of time that awaited me outside my closed eyes.
I stopped turning and lay still, my eyes still closed, I could hear the clock ticking outside my heart…
“Tick…. Tick… Tick”
In the focus of that I realized that I was alone in bed. I had fallen asleep with Sam firmly draining the blood out of my right arm as her decent sized head camped on it all through the night. I had watched her sleep with her mouth slightly ajar and her drooling out. She was a beautiful woman, even in her sleep but her drooling was something I still marveled at. Even “perfect” beings have
I had been in my thoughts for roughly about 5 minutes and I finally decided to open my eyes. I opened my eyes and the sunbeams invited themselves into my room and onto my face. It was warm. I turned around and to my back on the left side of my bed; I glanced at the alarm clock. Set 15 minutes ahead of what the actual time was, it read 12:18pm.
I muttered as I ran my hand over my head. I had clearly over slept. Oh well, I got up and grabbed my phone. A few people had texted me. Sam also texted to wish me a good morning and asked me to call her to update her later;
“Good morning my love, I am writing this message standing over you right now. Not like crazy eyes from OITNB but with watchful loving eyes. I just planted soft kisses all over your handsome bearded face. You look like a warrior that just won a grueling battle or when you’ve passed out from me sucking your dick dry after you’ve cum. Lol. Okay, okay sorry I brought that up. Olowo ori mi, I just want you to know that no matter what you decide to do, I’ll be by you 200% as always. Don’t forget that. Please call me when you wake up or after you speak to the detective. I love you mucho mucho grande. If you wake up in time, I made some eggs, they are covered in the microwave. I know how much you hate stale or cold food. Make sure you eat, or you’ll catch these hands!”
I smiled and sat up. Damn, I had slept for a cool minute or more like hours. I had been so tired. Work and life had managed to drain me out. I needed all that sleep after an emotionally draining day. I pulled up my phone and dialed his number; detective. Sigh.
The conversation was very similar to the one I had with Sam. He listened while I blabbed and then he said,
“I will be in Dallas tomorrow afternoon. We have some leads on our end too and I have some action to take care of over there.”
“I will be there too.”
I said, beginning to head for my computer to book the next flight. I was ready to go down there and witness the evil man that murdered my parents go down.
I hung up the phone and texted Sam about the plans. I was going to take the next 5 days off. She only needed to take off 1 working day as it was already Thursday. She responded with a simple,
Rushed packing and close to a thousand dollars later; tickets booked. We were leaving that night. I called up my supervisor and told her I had a family emergency to attend to out of state and I would be gone. I packed up all the letters and papers on the floor and dumped them into a garbage bag. I packed the full garbage bag into a suitcase of it’s own and continued packing. It was almost 8pm and we had a 10:05pm flight to catch. I hated being late so you can imagine how I felt sitting in front of my condo leaning on my car and Sam still hadn’t shown up.
I was texting on my phone when Sam pulled up.
“Baby, I’m sooooooo sorry. It was my best friend that held me up, that’s why I’m late.”
I rolled my eyes and sternly said,
I only ever called her by her “Nigerian” name when she had done something really bad.
She looked up at me and didn’t respond. She had those eyes, those “forgive me right now I’m a baby girl eyes”. I couldn’t help it.
“Just enter the car and let’s go!”
I had checked in online and all I really needed to do was drop off my car at the airport-parking garage.
The check-in process was smooth. It was about 10:11pm when I glanced at my watch sitting on the window seat of the plane. I hated looking out the window while flying, it made me want to throw up but I also loved watching the takeoff and landing. That’s why I religiously picked that seat for all my flights. Minutes later we were taking off and I looked out the window, I must have stared too long as I began to have motion sickness. I closed the window and leaned back in my seat. I glanced at Samantha who was already reading an article for work. I reached for my wallet and looked at the picture of my parents to ensure that I had it in there. A deep sadness covered my heart. I took in a deep breath and sighed heavily; I was going to fight for the justice in whatever way I had to.
The heat hit me as we walked out of the DFW airport. I was tired but ready to go. These next few days would be eye opening and I had to be ready. We were sitting down outside the airport waiting for my cousin to come and pick us up. It just seemed like everyone wanted to make me wait that day. It had been 30 minutes and no sign of her, so I called up her phone. She answered at the second ring and told me that she wasn’t the one coming to get us. I was still trying to figure it all out when Sam drew my attention to a car that pulled up behind me. I turned around and thought to myself,
“What the heck man?!”
“What was he doing here? Was he trying to die?!”
Sam, knowing how my temper can fly off the handle sometimes, immediately walked up to me and placed her hands around me.
“Calm down and talk baby she continued to say”
I was heated and ready to pop off. This man killed my parents and then thought it was okay to come here? Is he mad?
I finally spoke…
“I am not getting in that car”
I said to my uncle, now standing out of the car. He looked at me calmly and said,
“Femi, the police department already called and spoke to me to today. I know what you think and how you feel but I would not have come here if I was guilty. Please sit in the car and let me explain and I will tell you all that I know. If after that you still want to leave, that is fine.”
I shook my head in disapproval and he continued to talk. Sam finally said, in a whispering voice,
“Just hear him out babe, we can even leave our bags outside the car”
Sigh. She just always made sense. We left our bags next to the car, curbside to the airport door and sat in the car. I sat in the front and Sam in the back directly behind me.
“Femi, I know you know about your mom and I.”
My uncle started and then he continued on to say,
“But I want you to know that I would have never killed her. I loved her and truly wanted to care for her and out baby.”
I felt like he thought this was meant to make me feel better but it actually served to annoy me. Sam placed her right hand on my shoulder and slowly rubbed it in a motion to calm me down.
My uncle continued;
“I don’t have all the answers but that woman was carrying my child and to me, that meant something so I would never harm her or your father in that way. “
He then went on to say something that resonated with me and changed the direction of my thought; a Yoruba proverb from our homeland;
“Kokoro ton je efo, idi efo lo wa”
Which essentially means,
“The enemy/root of your problems are closer than you think”
Then he asked,
“Would you be staying with us at the house tonight or do you have hotel reservations somewhere?”
Sam responded from the back seat,
“Uncle we’ll stay at the house”
He started the car and began driving. I said nothing; staring out the windshield my brain was running in all different kinds of ways. I was now more confused than ever. What did he mean? What was going on? What the bloody fuck was going on?!
. . . . . .
Shots on Shots | Ice Prince and Sarkodie
Our bodies were off by a few hours but we woke up around 1pm after getting home that morning from the airport at about 6am. I had spent most of those hours lying in what used to be my room and staring out the window trying to understand what my uncle meant. Sam had woken up in the middle of the night and left the room for a period of time. I thought I might have been snoring or something, it made no sense to me at the time.
I hadn’t taken a shower when my uncle called out for me to come downstairs. Walking down the stairs to the living room, Sam closely behind me, I noticed Det. Rosen sitting on the couch. He stood up and shook my hand. I sat down across from my uncle with the detective to my left side.
He began talking;
“We have been investigating what was originally ruled as an accident but was actually the murder or your relations. Some of the evidence we gathered has led us to believe that we have a few more questions to ask. The evidence on ground shows that someone in your room (he pointed towards my uncle) during the vacation used their key card to leave the room during the middle of the night before the incident. So at this point, we are here to take you and your wife in for further questioning and continue to investigate the case”
My uncle looked on ahead; flat and unmoved like he saw all this coming and in many ways, he did. All my uncle said as the detective placed him under arrest was,
“Femi, find the truth.”
I was standing with Sam holding on to my left arm looking really sad. As the detective walked my uncle to the second living room, towards the main door. We heard the key, someone opening the door from the other side. It was my aunt.
“What is going on here?”
She asked with a confused look on her face. I began to try to explain and then she put her hand up as it to shut me up.
“Officer, you have the wrong person”
She said as dropped her bags on the floor and sat upright, her back up against the wall.
“I did it.”
Those were the first words out of her mouth in her seated position. I was shocked. Just like everyone in the room.She then went on a long confessional where everyone stopped and was silent in awe and disbelief.
“I am tired of all the lies and the sneaking around and playing dumb. Dele, I knew you were sleeping with my sister a full year before she died. After all we went through Dele, everything! My own sister?! Chai! Chai! Chai! Dele!!! There is God o.
Anyway, all those “research trips” you were taking out to Dallas when we still lived in California. I knew it was to sleep with her. And you left me with your kids. I was crushed. And my sister had always taken from me since we were kids. She always got all the men, all the boys that I liked, she had them because they thought she was prettier. She rejected one guy that wanted her and then he came to me. Of course I fell for him. I did everything for him. And then I got pregnant… 23 and pregnant. I could not keep the baby because I knew our father would kill me. So I devised a plan. It had come to my attention from one of my sister’s ex friends that she had damaged her womb and could not have children. So I suggested that she and I should run to the US from Nigeria and I would have the baby and give it to her. So she could call it her own…”
She paused as she was getting teary eyed. Everyone was still glued in their standing positions.
“Your “father”, her husband, never knew. She planned that part well and he always thought you were his. Femi, you are that child. You are my son…”
Those words cut through me. I felt like I was stabbed in my gut. There was no way. I felt winded and took a step back to reaffirm my stance. “What The FUCK MANNNN?”
She continued as my uncle’s face remained covered in calm. He knew all of this. My mother had told him.
“Femi, I brought you into this world and gave you to my sister because at the time, I knew I could not raise a son. I just couldn’t. And I knew she needed a child. I did that for my sister. I gave her the greatest gift one could; life. And she selfishly took away my happiness. Taking money from our business and giving it to the worthless piece of shit called a man here (she pointed at my uncle). I had silently watched the two of them play everyone like fools without saying anything but I couldn’t take it anymore. The night in Hawaii, we were drinking and I offered her something and she said no. She and my husband left the pool side for a while and I knew what they were off doing. I don’t know what came over me that night when I went and tampered with the brakes. I really didn’t want to kill them. I just wanted her to be scared off him from the trauma of a minor accident. The next morning when Dele tried to go and join them to go sightseeing, I stopped him because of the risk. He knew nothing at the time; only if anything.
My sister took from me after all I had given her. She was always taking from me. I had to take some power back. I am sorry I hurt her. I am sorry I hurt you. I am so sorry…”
She was now wailing, streams of tears rushed down her cheeks. The detective took the hand cuffs off my uncle and began reading the Miranda rights to my aunt as he began to cuff her. She didn’t fight back. She was sobbing and silent.
I was now in full flow of tears. Trying to process it all, I had my hands on my knees in a bent position and then I looked up and said,
“Did you know she was pregnant?”
My aunt’s eyes grew bigger and now she began to wail and cry.
“She was finally going to have one of her own and you took that away from her. The woman that raised me and an innocent man, you killed. You are evil and I never hope to see you again, I hope you rot and die behind bars. I will never forgive you!“
She was in full tears and really sobbing when she began to yell out,
“My stomach… My stomach…”
“She is lying!”
I yelled out as confusion broke out. The detective trying to make out the situation and my uncle attempting to help her, they both looked at me to help and I stepped back even further. I was not going to save her.
“You’re a doctor, aren’t you? You took an oath…”
The detective yelled out as they lay my aunt on the ground. I pointed to my uncle and told him to call 911. I held her head up and figured she was having a reaction to something in her stomach. I stabilized her as I heard the sirens of the ambulance. I stood up and walked away from her body as she was carried away and the detective followed. He asked Sam and my uncle to help and they headed to the hospital.
What just happened? I thought to myself. My mother had just confessed to killing the woman I had called mother all these years. I had been living a lie. I was the product of deceit. I was feeling crushed inside. And she had just been carried out for something that looked like a poison reaction. What was happening? My mind flashed and pieced it together. Sam!
She was in the medical field and would know the “right” compounds to fix or throw together to create something that could hurt my aunt. Shit!
I was sitting next to my aunt’s items and noticed her water bottle for her Herbalife smoothies. I opened it and sniffed it. I was right. It smelled of chemicals. The kind you would only spot if you were in the medical field.
“Why did Sam do this?”
“I’m the doctor though. When they pump her stomach and test it, they will think it was me and I have all the motive”
Fuck! I wanted to run but what was the point.
The house was empty and I felt just like I did on the evening of my parent’s funeral, only now I was alone. The feeling truly caught up to me. Tears streamed down my eyes for over a full hour. Why didn’t Sam stay with me? It made no sense.I heard a knock on the door. I looked up at the door and didn’t respond.Another knock and then the door opened. It was the detective and I had an idea of why he was there.
“Mr Femi Rilwan, you are under arrest for the attempted murder of…”
his voice tailed off as the tears slowly rolled down my face as he placed the handcuffs behind my back. I wasn’t even hearing what he was saying even though I knew he was talking. There was a hollow depth in my heart as my heart rate slowed dramatically. He walked me out of the house towards his waiting car. Opening the door, he bent my head as I sat in the back seat, I thought to myself. Through the web of lies, deceit, infidelity and pain that all the people involved went through with me, I never truly understood what it felt like to be a “home”. There I was in the back of the cop car in front of my own parent’s home; trapped in my own hands and this time for real, I had absolutely no one. And I could be going down for something I didn’t do. The detective was walking around the car when Sam walked up to him. She stood very close to him and said something. Something I still do not know till this day.
She walked around the car and he opened the door. She stretched out her hand and held my chin in her hand.
I stepped out the car and he removed the cuffs from my hand. I gave Sam a big hug and whispered to her.
“I love you.”
She didn’t respond. She just clutched me tighter as tears streamed down her eyes. He gently shook the cuffs in his hands. I looked down at his hands. Sigh.
Say it with me y’all…. “What The Heck Man!!!!!”
Fin! Wait! Wait! Wait! Hold on to that feeling and let me know how you felt about this series Empty. I’d love to know.
Also, NO ONE got the actual story I wanted to start running on the poll from next week but most wanted Secrets so much…. Sooooooo… I will be releasing Secrets Part 1, next Saturday. In the meantime, please listen to a preview if what to expect. And like always, please let me know what you think!
Fuck You by @adewus4real
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I sat in the living room in shock as Miriam, Sam’s best friend and Sam’s younger brother from the Air Force who was 4 years younger than her put their clothes on and headed out to the living room to join me. I felt like I was interrogating them. I was upset they were having sex on the sheets that Sam and I did things on but more upset that they had something going on and I was the last to find out. I had suspected something at his last visit to town but Sam had blown it off like it was nothing. She was always trying to protect her best friend like she wasn’t a “cougar” or something. Sam walked in a few minutes later and she and Miriam went to the kitchen. I heard them giggling and laughing as she replayed the look on my face when I walked in. I was so heated but I made time to give Jude a fist bump for scoring a girl like Miriam. She was a woman! In every sense of the word. That was all I was allowed to say before my “NSCDC Chairman” cut me.
Sam and I left them in the house and went into my car as we laughed off the incident. This was the woman I loved but I still didn’t feel completely connected to her. I remember the night I told her I was feeling disconnected because I felt like she was too busy with other things and had become detached from me. She tried to kiss me and I kissed back but I soon pulled away and told her I wasn’t happy with everything. We both promised to do better and be there more for each other. We sat outside her house till 4am in the morning just talking about everything. At various points in the conversation we both got upset and it just showed how much we cared about each other and wanted to make it work. I loved this woman and I got sick to my stomach at the thought of her waking up next to someone else. I couldn’t live with it.
I was having an okay day at work the next day, making my rounds from floor to floor and checking in with my patients. I missed having Sam here with me. Working together and sneaking around having sex all over the hospital. I hated the change but I liked the happiness it brought her even if it had taken us away from each other. I was walking to another meeting when her text came through,
“What time are you off babe?”
I smiled thinking she just wanted to stop by and get some of my dick. I responded,
“In an hour babe”
“Don’t eat dinner babe. I’ll be there once I get off. I’m treating you tonight.”
I had never heard those words come out of the mouth of a Nigerian woman. I was shocked and turned on. Sam cooking for me happened to always do that to me, I was excited.
True to her word, she showed up at my house. I was busy playing a round of Call of Duty trying to relax when she arrived. I darted to the door and back to my room, planting a quick kiss on her lips as I ran back to make sure I wasn’t killed in my game.
She stayed in the kitchen killing it all kinds of ways; sweet potato fries, chicken, rice, beans and PLANTAINS!!!! I passed out for a quick second while I met Jesus. She knew the way to my heart. I came into the kitchen and stood by the door watching her while she cooked. She was beyond sexy. Waltzing her way from sink to stove and back, it felt like I was falling in love again. All I wanted now was to just eat her up. Well her famous lasagna first and then all of her.
I walked up and tried to kiss her. She smacked my hand out of the way and said while rubbing my grumbling stomach,
“Babe, I’m going to feed you real good and then I am going to fuck you till you’re tired”
I felt a tingle down my back as I clutched my legs tighter as my dick rose. Fuck! She got me.
About twenty minutes later the food was done and I have to say, it was one of the best she had ever made. I could not believe it. We lay in bed cuddling next to each other when she began to touch me. I knew what she wanted. The food was spicy and I was there drinking flavored water trying to avoid the spice. I should have brushed my teeth because I wanted to feast on her pink but she wouldn’t let me. She wouldn’t let me do anything.
She got up and pulled my pants down taking all of me inside her mouth. I felt a slight burn. We had obviously eaten the same food and my member was burning and ready to tap out. But I had to be a real one and stay true. The heat slowly began to reduce as she slobbered on my shaft from the tip to the base. Stroking my balls as she went along I was starting to twitch. The spice had gotten into the opening at the head of my shaft and now the burn was truly coming but it was too late to stop her now. She was dripping wet already. I lay there on my back while she took off her panties. Squatting she slowly lowered herself onto my hard upward pointing member. My curved package slowly became covered in her wetness as the burn continued. She didn’t seem fazed by it as we proceeded. I could feel her juices begin to drink onto my sack as she twisted and turned, slowly grinding her pussy on my dick.
I couldn’t contain it. She was wet. It was hot. Hotter than usual because I was burning and I knew I had to end this fast but she wouldn’t let me. She placed her knees down next to my legs. Backing me, she put her hands around my ankles and began twerking her soft ass on me. Up and down she went like a freak trying to blow my mind. I knew this woman. She was the one that made me hit the falsetto for the first time in my life while she worked magic. I grabbed her hands and tried to dictate the pace. She stopped, turned slowly and looked at me and said,
“Don’t touch me.”
with all determination, focus and whatever else was included. I felt like I bust my seed at that moment. The room had gotten 10 times hotter. A woman that knew how to take control and had the body and know how to do so? Did I hear someone say a celebratory “Yes Lawd!” ?! Well hope the big man upstairs forgives all of YOU.
She seemed to care about my body but angry at my member. She rode me dirty like a cow girl riding into battle, the battle of the cattle. I knew myself and I knew I was about to cum. I was trying to hold it but she wasn’t letting me touch her and she was so wet. It was so hot and she looked so fucking sexy! I knew it. I just knew it. The way she worked, I pushed her up and in my pumping of my shaft, spurted out all of my seed into the air and all over my arm. She got up and dissatisfied, knelt down next to me and took my now softening member into her mouth. Stroking it back to life, she cleaned up the entire area and mopped it all up. I wanted to scream. I tried to push her off me but I couldn’t. She had me.
I finally gave up and let the pleasure course through me from my mid-range to the hairs at the back of my neck. I lay there like a beaten fighter as she cleaned up the corners of her mouth and headed into the bathroom.
You’re allowed to laugh at me as I woke up the next day when she was about to leave for work; she had knocked me.
. . . . . .
My party promoter friend, Edward, called to tell me that he was throwing a big reunion party in California for the July Celebration that year and he invited me to it. I had asked Sam to come with me, as she had never been to California before. I promised it’ll be fun. A three day weekend for an African reunion, he called in #ARC2014. It actually was pretty cool. The party was live like all his parties were and I had been going to his parties since early days in college and now he was big fish in the party business. We partied hard till four in the morning.
The next morning, I was out at brunch with my friends having a great time laughing at the funniest things. Sam was off at the hotel catching up on some more sleep. She was a lightweight partier. I remember the DJ from the night before was also with us at the restaurant. Even as a group of young black professionals sat in a primarily white restaurant filled with white people, we made all the noise possible. Trust black people to “light” up wherever they go.
I can’t remember what was said but I know someone got offended about something. I burst out laughing and knocked over a cup of water while trying to contain my laughter. It was too funny. I noticed I spilled some juice on my shirt so I got up and headed to the bathroom to clean it off. I was in the bathroom standing in front of the mirror with a piece of paper towel in dipped in water. I began patting the juice off my shirt and a few minutes later the stain gone. I decided to pee afterwards and when I was done I returned to the sink to wash my hands. I was drying off my hands when my phone buzzed. I ignored it and headed back to the table with my friends. They were still laughing about something and I soon enough joined the “laugh show” again. The waitress soon came to take our orders and it was when she was done that I grabbed my phone. It was that moment where everyone at the table hopped on their phones to read messages and all. I responded to Sam’s message asking if we were still there and that she was coming to join us. I asked if she wanted to eat and she said that she just wanted a smoothie. I opened the email I had just received. The subject heading read,
“REOPENING A.R CASE”
I knew those initials; they were my dad’s but I didn’t know what it meant. I gathered from reading down the email that a detective from the precinct where my parents had their accident had reopened the case and wanted to get some information from me as well as updating me on the new developments. The case had been reopened based on an anonymous tip that the car my parents were driving might have been tampered with.
I was a little concerned because I had waited so long to finally get over the incident and the entire trauma and now it was all coming back to me. I was also in some ways relieved because I always felt like there was so much that wasn’t clear back then… a lot of unanswered questions regarding the whole incident. I was nervous.
A friend of mine asked what I was reading; I questioned why she wanted to know and she said it’s because the look on my face changed. I lied and said it was nothing. This wasn’t anything. This was huge. I took down the detective’s number from the email and I remember asking my friends on the table if calling Hawaii was long distance. They all responded that it was part of the US so I should be fine. I was going to call him. I knew I had to but I started to get this sick feeling in my stomach. I wasn’t sure if I was ready for whatever he had to say. I looked down at my eggs on my plate. Scrambled; that’s exactly how my heart was feeling.
. . . . .
Am I Wrong – Nico & Vinz
I returned to Florida distracted with a heavy heart. I was not ready to be back but I wanted to get the ball rolling and figure out what the email from the detective was about. I wanted to contact him before I returned to work. I hadn’t told Sam about it yet because I knew she would try to stop me from digging deeper into my parent’s passing. The last time I tried, it felt like I lost myself in there.
My conversations with the detective were as enlightening and just as confusing in the same breath. I was still trying to make sense of everything, the news, the thoughts and the uncertainty. It had been over a year since their death and I was now grieving again. We had been talking on the phone and emailing back and forth. The insurance company for the rental organization that my parents had rented the car from were adamant that the blame for the failed brakes shouldn’t have been on them. Especially since the accident happened on the third day of the vacation. They sent the car, a 2011 Toyota Camry, back to the factory to be inspected by them and their team. The results came back as inconclusive because the brakes did not seem to have been affected by normal wear and tear. The detective eventually enlisted the help of an expert who gave his view in stating that he felt like the brakes had been cut physically by someone.
Bells in my head began ringing… I wanted to know everything! For the longest time I had suspected my aunt, I felt like she had something to do with it. Women always had something to do with it I thought to myself. I sat there in my room trying to figure out the motive.
“Why would anyone want to hurt my parents?”
I thought to myself.
It made no sense but I was going to make sense of it. One thing was now certain… The incident was no longer ruled as an accident. It had been proven that someone definitely tampered with the brakes and I was going to find out who it was. The detective already said he was coming down to interview my uncle and aunt again as they were on the vacation with my parents. I was going to dig into things in a different way.
I called the accountant for my mom’s company and asked for all the account details and reports. I was going to find out if this whole thing was financially related because money can also easily break families.
A few days later the accountant responded to my message with two emails. The first included all the information that I had asked for. From account balances to tax information to write offs, everything was there in a secure file. The second email had the password to open the initial file with directions of how to read the files or at least make sense of the whole thing. I put some spaghetti in the cooker and put my spaghetti sauce in the microwave. I returned to my bedroom and began digging into the files. What I found finally began to give me some direction around what was happening.
Within the last 2 years, there had been lump sums transferred to an account in my uncle’s name. I sat up straight and looked closer at the screen while taking notes of every transaction. I could feel myself sweating.
“Was it my uncle?”
“Why were there transfers to my uncle’s account?”
Going further I began to realize that there was a pattern to the transfers, they mostly happened when my mother was out of town on her business trips or trips to visit her sister in Dallas.
“Did my aunt never notice the transfers?”
After, all they were business partners. But I realized that it was my mother that was in charge of the financial aspect of things while my aunt did most of the leg work. I continued to question things without having all the answers. My palms sweaty as my fat fingers ran over the mouse pad and the keyboard. The money transfers never exceeded seven thousand dollars. I needed to find out what was going on because it was also evident that the business was bleeding. Not entirely because of the transfers but mostly because of the consistent lack of income in the company.
I pulled my mother’s company credit card records and began to scan through. Everything seemed like regular transactions till I noticed two airline ticket transactions and one for a doctor’s visit.
I took a step back and I stared at the screen. I looked crazy. My reddened eyes were now sore. I had just scanned through years of bank and credit card statements, transactions and tax returns. I walked out on to the balcony to get some fresh air. I was tired. There were empty bottles of water that I’d drank littering the side of the table. I looked like a crazy person searching for the truth in the black and with numbers that seemed like nothings. I returned to my seat, took a deep breath and continued. I was not sure about the doctor’s transaction. I clicked on it for details and nothing came up. I knew that no hospital would give me details off another’s person’s information over the phone. I scratched my head and thought about how to go about this. The two airline ticket transactions could be cleared up easy. All I had to do was go through my mother’s email and I was sure I would find the flight details.
All my senses were heightened and I had not responded to any messages particularly ignoring Sam’s during the four hours I had been sitting at the computer and that’s when it happened. In my crazy state I remembered all my mother’s files that she usually scanned quarterly into her LifeGuardian account. It was an online data protection account that stored all your information in the event that data on your computer or something was completely lost.
I knew her password because I was basically her assistant for years when she first started her business. Helping and answering all her questions over the phone from thousands of miles away. I clicked over to the website and logged in. It took a few minutes but I found the receipt of that doctors visit (she logged every receipt for tax reasons as a business owner). It was for some lab work and a scan.
“Was she sick?”
“Was she hiding an ailment from my dad?”
I dug further and searched for any correspondence from doctors. I typed “doctors” into the search box and right then it came up. The hospital was in Waco, Texas a little over an hour outside Dallas, Texas and I wondered immediately why my mother was having tests outside the family doctor which she had been using for over seven years. It didn’t add up.
I looked for more information and found nothing. I was starting to get angry because I didn’t find what I wanted or what I thought I would find. And then it dawned on me to check her emails. All the things scanned in here were from paper origins meaning they were sent to the house, a house where the mail was picked up by two people; my dad and my mom. If she was trying to hide something from my dad, she would never have had it sent to the house. I logged into her personal email account. My parents had a separate shared one for family and joint things. I searched the hospital name and 4 emails came up. Two from a doctor and two from my mother to the same address; I opened the first one that read “Results” in the subject heading.
Reading carefully, it was written saying that the person tested was basically 2 months pregnant. Her response was to ask if the doctor was sure. The next email was a response from the doctor confirming that they had run the test again and they were sure the person was pregnant. I covered my mouth in shock.
“Was my mother pregnant?”
I began to process and if so, why was she hiding it from my father. Why didn’t she tell me?
Her final response sounded happier, thanking the doctor for his help and maintaining confidentiality. My eyes grew big. It still made no sense what the transfers to my uncle were about. I clicked the search box and typed in the name of the airline. Flight reservations popped up. 3 of them in total
I clicked them and opened them up…
There the two paid for with my mom’s credit card. They were both for my uncle and 8 months apart. My heart was racing now. Out of my chest it was pounding as if it wanted to burst out. The last one was paid for with my mom’s debit card and was sandwiched between those two trips. I looked at the dates. The date of the second trip my uncle made to Dallas was for 4 days, Thursday through Sunday. My mother’s appointment with the doctor was on that Friday.
“No no no no NOOOOOOOO!!!!!”
I yelled out loud. No fucking way!
My mind had to be playing games with me. This was not happening. This was not happening right now. God no!
I had to talk to someone. I sat down on the floor and dialed Sam’s number.
I didn’t even give her a chance to speak, I spoke first and blurted out,
“My mother was pregnant when she was in that accident and I think my uncle was the father…”
Sam stayed silent for a few seconds and then she said,
“What The Heck….”
Man, what happens next???? Don’t we all wanna know… Welp. LOL! I swear I love y’all. Soooo here’s the deal, there’s a poll below this is how you can exclusively read Empty Part 4 AND get a preview to my next series.. Take the poll and pick an answer. Put your answer in the comment section along with your feelings/comments about this story. If you get the answer right, I will send you Empty Part 4 five days before it is due to be released. Thank you and goodluck!!!!
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⟹ ⟹ ⟹ PLAY THE SONG BEFORE READING. START THE SONG FIRST.
Money on My Mind (Unplugged) – Sam Smith
I sat there with a confused look on my face trying to understand what was happening.
I read the letter over again. Same outcome; shock
Many thoughts were racing through my head from the fact that she wrote me a letter instead of calling me to the idea that I grew up in that home and I truly did not want to lose it. Why was she making such decisions with the heir to the estate?
My parents had willed their businesses to me; my father’s was in the process of being sold and my mother’s was jointly owned by her sister. The house while not willed to me, was meant to be sold and half the money given to me and half from the sale reinvested into my mother’s business. This was changing the plan and I was not comfortable with that.
I picked up my phone and dialed my aunt’s number. Midway through, I realized that she might have been at work and I probably wouldn’t have answered. The phone was on it’s 4th ring when someone on the other end picked up, it was my aunt.
“Good afternoon aunty”
I said trying to contain my evident frustration.
“Femi ba wo ni?”
She responded as she asked about my well being
“I was just calling to let you know I got your letter and I was wondering what it was about”
My disgust has somewhat seeped into my tone now
“Oh your uncle and I have had the house on the market since your parents passed but have gotten very little responses back. I just figured we should move in here instead of paying two mortgages and trying to sell ours instead”
She explained going on
“We’ll put our house on the market and then move to Dallas. Home sales in California are easier at the moment and then we’ll buy this one outright”
Some form of calm began to set into my breathing
“Oh okay, I responded. Well, that makes sense then but someone should have told me aunty. I was just here wondering what was going on. Being far away doesn’t make it easy to stay on top of things”
I explained trying to claw my way back from extreme irritation. She understood, I think but it seemed as she felt like I only thought she had money on her mind and not doing it for the best interest of me, the family and the company. The plan actually made some sense because sales in California were actually on the rise but not so much in Dallas. I was skeptical about doing the sale of the home to family but my mother and my aunt had been in business for many years without complain on either side. I reserved my fear and somewhat allowed some hope to take over. This might actually work I repeatedly preached to myself. It had to work.
. . . . . .
It was a blessing to have Samantha in my life through losing my parents and the house fiasco. She was continuously such a rock for me and I was extremely grateful. I remember how we both had to break into her new apartment because she had forgotten her keys on the kitchen sink inside. Breaking and entering your own property. That was the kind of stuff Sam and I go into.
It was the evening of her house warming party. My body was still sore from the move a few days prior. She had so much shit. Way too many clothes and shoes, I could not believe someone was allowed to have that many shoes. She had enough shoes for the entire cast of Happy Feet African edition. I was just proud of her as I scoped the place one last time as I walked up the stairs and turned the corner.
There she was getting ready for her house warming party. Standing in front of the mirror with all her makeup scattered all over the sink. She stood there with her round butt cheeks hanging out of her black lace panties. I stood behind her wanting to devour her. She wouldn’t let me.
Before she put her lip stick on, I came up behind her and stood on her right side. Moving her hair out of the way, I gently placed my soft lips on her neck while I placed my hands on her waist. She knew what I was trying to do but did little to fight back. I continued kissing down her neck to the front of her chest. I turned and stood in front of her now backing the mirror, I pulled her in closer and wrapped my hand around her tighter. I was now kissing the front of her neck with her head kicked back. She was biting her lip while clutching one of her makeup brushes in her hand to ensure it didn’t stand my white shirt. I placed my large right hand on her left butt cheek and squeezed it tight while sliding my index finger over her clit in an attempt to get her wet quicker. She smiled and slowly pulled back
“People are here back and the rest will be here soooooon”
She moaned as I continued to kiss her
“I don’t care.”
I responded with authority.
“Babe, babe…. Babeee… stoop. They’ll be here soon. I promise once everyone leaves. I’m all yours.”
I let go of her and sat back on the sink looking dejected like a kid who was just told he won’t be seeing Santa that year. Every guy knows that moment when your woman clearly can give it to you but she decides against it. Soooo annoying!
I walked out of there shrugging like I didn’t care. She pulled me back and planted a wet kiss on my lips and then pushed me out with a smile on her face saying
“Stop being a spoiled brat!”
I smiled again like a little kid just finally allowed into the circle and walked out.
Good Kisser – Usher
Friends and some of her family began to arrive shortly after and the party was taking off. I held my spot by the sound system and kept the music coming. There were Hors D’oeuvres, some rice as you know Africans must always have at their gatherings and a couple of giant tubs of ice cream. Alcohol was constantly flowing the entire night as I watched Sam weave her way through a happy crowd as she gave tour after tour of her new place. It had been rumored around the office that the hospital we worked at, had tabled an offer to her but she was already some way into the transition to working at another hospital. I was glad.
Samantha was so good at everything that she did, that she definitely deserved to be given the opportunity that she was getting to spearhead the new child development research unit alongside one of the finest child psychologists around. She would dictate her hours and her pay was very handsome. The possibility of us having different schedules that enabled us to spend more time together was very attractive to us. It was at this stage of our relationship that it became clear to me that Samantha really valued me when she asked for my in depth opinion regarding the switch. Should she stay put where she was loved and known or embark on ground breaking worth that would be rewarding for years to come? I couldn’t be more proud of her as I watched her finish up another tour of the “den” area in her new place. She smiled as she caught me staring at her from the corner of my eyes. I got butterflies when I looked at her. She truly was magical. Her chocolate skin with her beautiful soft lips and her big bold eyes, I just wanted to cradle and squeeze her at every chance I got.
The “den” was big. She called it a “den” but I would eventually convince her to start calling it the “hut”. Sam in her thoughtfulness had turned it into my area of the house because she realized how much I was still dealing with the recent sale of my home. Some of my childhood pictures hung up on the wall and there was a big flat screen TV in there to watch my sports games. I swear, how could you not love a woman like that?
“Hey dj, can you play my song?”
I heard someone say in a sexy voice as their tongue licked my ear. Startled, I looked down at the 5’6 person and there Sam was. Clutching on to me with her hands around my mid riff, I could tell she was a bit buzzed.
I smiled and said
“Babe, you good?”
“I’m fine baby”
She responded swaying her head and smiling back at me as if to convince me. She was clearly starting to get drunk and I knew her horny side was soon come to fore. She slid her right hand down and grabbed my package in her hand. Looking around to make sure nobody was watching, I smiled and pushed her hand away
“I want you. Now.”
was all she said. I knew what I had to do next. I raised my hand up and motioned to my friend Nana, the black wonder from Ghana to come and take over the dj-ing duties. Sam and I waved our way through the dancing people in her living room and made our way into the bathroom. I lifted her up and sat her on the sink. Sliding her dress up, I began to kiss her hard. I had been made to wait hours and I wanted her right then. I was about to start taking off her underwear when we heard a knock on the door.
I cursed under my breath.
I thought to myself as I stood in the corner and Sam opened the door to find out who it was. It was Miriam her best friend. I rolled my eyes as Sam tried her best to quickly dispose of her best friend who was just was even more under the influence than we were. Sam turned around to look at me sitting on the sink with an irritated look on my face. She immediately went into her “turn off” mode. It was the one where if I was being to aggressive, pushy for sex or said the wrong thing, Sam would fold into her shell and begin to act upset and then eventually, no sex for my horny ass.
I wasn’t about to let that happen this time, I pulled her close. Tight. I lifted her up and sat her on me with her knees on the sink, I pulled up her dress and parted her panties. Sticking my index finger quickly into her soaking wetness, she had no time to respond. I began to work it inside her. There was a certain level of pleasure I loved to get Sam to when we had sex and I was trying to beat that today. I was in for a shocker though. I continued kissing her as she moaned into my mouth. She was getting louder and louder as my finger got deeper. I slapped on the handle for the faucet and turned it on. Water running and the music blasting, I hoped it would be enough to drown out her moans. On to her fresh carpets she pulled me as we both made our way down. She didn’t want my tongue to feast on her; she just wanted my hard member inside of her. I rushed to pull off my pants as she looked up to me patiently and waited for me to enter into her. I lowered myself while positioning my now rock hard package as it slid into her. With a slow thrust, I allowed her flowing juices engulf my throbbing dick as I felt the heat from her insides warm me up. I clutched her left breast and squeezed as I began to slide in and out of her quicker. She moaned and looked at me like in amazement. There was something about drunken sex for her. It just took her to another level. She placed both her hands on my butt and squeezed pushing for me to thrust deeper into the realms of her gut. I continued as her juices flowed out and covered my balls as they dangled back and forth. This had to be a quick one. We had guests to attend to but the way Sam was holding on to me, I sensed she wanted more and was not going to let me only give her a quickie.
I was beginning to think of ways to pull out of her without her knowing but Sam knew me. She knew how I liked it when she dug her nails deep into my back. She knew how moaning my name
“Femi.. femi.. femi….”
Which translates to “marry me” evoked emotions beyond words in me. I did not know when I continued to thrust deeper. Watching her face, with her mouth wide open and no words coming out, she gasped and moaned with every thrust. I was struggling to not explode inside of her because I knew she wanted more but it was hard. It was wet. So wet. Slippery and hot. Tight. Hot. Did mention, wet? It was dripping. She was dripping. I was dripping covered in sweat and I there I was with the safety ofbirth control behind me, I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I began to cum inside of her with the ugliest facial expressions a man could have. I spurted out my seed as I looked like an man being electrocuted. I hated that face. That cum face but she loved it. I stood up and aimed to clean up. Sam sat up still on the floor and turned me towards her, grabbing my package she stroked it and put it in her mouth. Now there are only few men in the world and I mean very few who can admit that a woman sucking his dick right after ejaculation is not one of the most sensual and embarrassing things that could happen to him. We all begin to squirm like a black person in water for the first time. I had this look of shock on my face. No she was not doing what I thought she was doing. I pushed her off me slowly as I could not take the pleasure coursing through my back. She looked upset as we both put our clothes on. The rest of the party was a blast and we ended up in bed next to each other that night as tired as we were. It was success. Sam was my success.
. . . . .
Something felt off that week. The days were long. I was feeling very edgy and high on caffeine. I did not want to be at work or anywhere around work and it felt like a lot to take in and to compound the problem; I hadn’t seen Sam in a whole week.
I was frustrated. I was sitting in the break room at a little past midnight texting Sam. I can’t remember what she was saying at that time but it was sounding super sexy to me and I was getting turned on. I made sure not to tell her though as she talked. I gently placed my right hand under my scrubs and stroked my shaft that was now rising faster than gas prices. Sam and I hadn’t had sex in almost 3 weeks. Busy schedules coupled with her monthly visitor coming and a short trip to visit her sister, all disrupted “love and care” for me. I asked her to send me some naked pictures so I could take care of something’s on my end. She obliged and agreed that I had been patient enough lately and deserved some. So I waited and about an hour later, I still had not received anything. I was not horny, sexually frustrated and irritated. I was watching a documentary on some new innovative treatment the FDA just approved a few months back on the television and then she texted back saying something along the lines of her changing her mind. I can’t exactly remember how but I immediately snapped and sent a series of extremely mean messages back to her. It was like venting but way meaner. She said nothing back besides “good night”
When I placed my phone back down, I knew I was fucked. I should never have gone off on her. I tucked away phone and slumped in my chair. I had gone from zero to sixty in mere minutes. What was wrong with me? I knew nothing was going to stop her from being mad at me that night, so I went back to work and tried as much as possible to keep her out of my head. That was pretty much impossible. My week had just gone from crappy to extremely useless. I continued to blame myself while I sent her a “good morning” text the next morning. She didn’t respond. I sent 24 unreplied messages to her with no response. I knew I pushed it this time so I planned to stop by her house the next day which was at this point, now two days later.
I arrived at about noon and walked up to the door. I was unlocked and the TV was on. Strange.
I looked down to my right by the pile of shoes and noticed a pair of men’s shoes that looked freshly taken off. I began to walk into the space. I was hearing voices but nothing from the living room. My heart was beginning to race now.
“Was Sam ignoring me the whole day to be with someone else?”
I gathered that the sounds were coming from her bedroom upstairs. I began to make my way up nervously. I was extremely terrified. At the top of the stairs lay men’s underwear and a black blouse. I placed my had over my mouth as I got closer. I was trembling. I placed my hand on the door and in one swoop took a deep breath while saying a prayer to God. I pushed open the door and froze. I couldn’t not believe my eyes, I was stunned and weak in the knees.
“How could this have happened?”
I tried to find the words to speak but nothing came out and then rage consumed me. I slammed the door shut and bolted down the stairs.
“How could they do this?”
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⟹ ⟹ ⟹ PLAY THE SONG BEFORE READING. START THE SONG FIRST.
Stay With Me – Sam Smith
The morning dew elevated off the ground. People standing next to me as I looked up into the sunlight beaming straight on to my face. Down I placed my head; I was standing here in the midst of people… Present but alone.
I could hear their wails as my thoughts prevented them from settling in my head. Tears rolling down my cheeks emerged from behind my sunglasses; I stood there motionless and broken.
They lowered it in and the shovel was handed to me, I stood with it in my right hand. The contrast clear as I stood in my black tailored suit and the shovel in my hand forcing me to look like a construction worker. I tightened my grip and placed my left hand on the shovel and in a digging motion; I dumped the first piece of dirt into the hole. A few minuteslater, final words were said and everyone walked away. People tapping on my shoulders expressing their sadness and condolences; I was glued in my spot.
It was only a matter of minutes and I was all-alone with flowers at the foot of the headstones and my thoughts. A fresh set of tears began to flow down my cheeks once more. I had just placed both best friends in the ground. My entire support system was gone. Both my parents had just been placed in a grave and buried. It is always hoped that the children will bury their parents but never expected at such a young age. I was inconsolable, broken and empty. My world was gone.
. . . . .
There were refreshments for the guests back at my parent’s house. I remember walking in and people still trying to console me. I headed straight for my room upstairs. Stopping by my parent’s room, I took one more look as some of their things had now been stuffed into boxes. I stood there waiting for them to walk in right behind me but they never came. Alone with a house filled with people, my heart ached and I turned back into my room.
My room was completely empty except for the blazer I wore the day before on the bed and my packed bags on the floor. I sat there in the corner of the room with my bags next to me. The room was empty and I just needed to feel present. It felt like I was still in shock. I had gotten the call from my uncle that my parents had been in a ghastly car accident while on vacation in Hawaii. I rushed down from my post in Florida where I was just finishing up my medical program. I had begged them to come on vacation to Miami and they refused. I really just wanted them to be with me. I had just finished a busy work cycle and I could have shown them around and more but they decided it was the Island they wanted to visit.
I played every scenario in my head trying to figure out if I could have been more persuasive and more aggressive in my appeals. I wanted to have one more moment with them. I held my father’s graduation cap in my hand as I sat on the floor remembering why I even went into medical school to begin with. I remember my father being diagnosed with prostate cancer years ago and his fight against it and the toll it took on him and our family. He came out on top but had various scares and I remember as a young lad in college wanting to be there for my family in anyway; medical or otherwise. Now they were gone. And I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye.
I was snapped out of my thoughts by my uncle who knocked on the door.
“Who is it?”
I said wiping my tears away from my face.
“It’s your uncle Dele”
“Come in uncle”
I responded as I cleared my throat.
He came in and sat on the bed next to me and began with,
“My sincerest condolences Femi, I am truly sorry for your loss and that of this family. To lose them has really shaken us. I hope you are okay and I just wanted you to know that we love you and will support you in whatever way possible.”
“Thank you uncle.I appreciate it”
I said shaking his hand and standing to my feet. I picked my bags up and placed my jacket over my left forearm. Walking out of the room behind my uncle and scanning the house once more as I walked out. I was leaving behind my childhood and youth. My sadness could not have been put into words but it was evident that I was lonely.
Uncle Dele’s wife, my mom’s younger sister, came up to me and gave me a big hug whispering in my ear to always call and keep in touch. I did not hug her back. I did not trust her. It was still unexplained to me that my parents were on a vacation with them and it was only my parents that were involved in a suspicious accident. I felt like she had a hand in it. I didn’t know yet but I was going to find out especially as she was joint owners with my mother in her ceramics company. I walked to my car and placed my bags in the trunk. As I walked around the car, I scanned the neighborhood I grew up in. I sat in the driver’s seat and looked at my boarding pass. I had a flight to catch and I still had to return this rental car. DFW to FLL it read, I wanted to leave now. I was leaving behind my life; my parents were never going to see me build my own home.
. . . . . .
Give Me Love – Ed Sheeran
It had been 7 months since my parent’s funeral and I still had no answers as to what I wanted to do with my life and myself. I was functioning at about 65% of happiness. Many nights feeling alone and lost. In the blink of an eye, life had orphaned me. I couldn’t speak to anything to change my state. I pushed myself to brink by pulling myself away from the world. Alone in my room I would on cry many nights wishing there was a way I could get them back, even if it was for a few minutes but I got nothing.
Samantha and I had been dating for a few months, she was in many ways part of my recovery package. She made me feel whole. Sam as I called her, was one of the interns in the hospital and I met her when I was helping out another department during one of those late night shifts. She was patient and loved what I was and what I stood for. It was the little things she did that made me feel loved. Like when she cooked for me or showed particular attention to my drawings that I did for fun. Whenever I felt down and I wanted to hide or push her away, she would get stronger and stand her ground and be my backbone. I was falling harder and harder for this girl even though I was trying to do everything to push her away. I did not want to love and then be left hurt. I wasn’t going to love and then be abandoned or let life take someone I loved again.
Due to the long hours I worked at the hospital, the best time and only free time I had almost always seemed to clash with the time that Sam was working. Most of our dates were in scrubs and grabbing dinners from the hospital deli. But being close to her caused us to get to know each other better faster. I was attracted to her resilience in ensuring that I did not remain depressed. She never called me needy or showed that my hurt overwhelmed her. She sat there and really just wanted to work magic in my life, she was magic. I remember one evening about 3 months into dating her, she texted me that she was in the break room and she wanted to have sex right then!
It was the spontaneity that she exuded that caused me to be continuously drawn to her. I just wanted to be around her. I was wrapping up with a client when the text came through. I quickly glanced at it and prepared to dash out of the room. Ms Jacobs laughed one more time holding on to my forearm as she prepared to be discharged. I really just wanted to be out of there like I had places to be. I signed the final paperwork with the nurse and darted out. I remember somebody trying to stop me for something in the lobby by the nurses’ desk. I ran right past them, heading for the elevator door. I stood in front of it impatiently waiting for it to climb the four floors from the ground up. I had two more floors to go up to. Pressing it, it opened up and an older man, a patient stood right in front of me with a face guard on probably to protect himself from something. As we know, hospitals can be infectious too. I hopped in the elevator and asked,
“Up or down?”
He pointed up. Pressing the sixth floor, the door slowly closed and I looked at myself from top to bottom making sure that I looked okay andwasn’t covered in some odd liquid or something. At the sixth floor I hopped out, smiled at the man and turned around heading for the break room. I just needed to get through because my body could no longer contain the excitement and the pressure that was rising between my legs. I arrived at the break room and found that the door was locked as per our plan. Samantha had locked the door to prevent anybody else from coming in. As it was a shared break room if anyone had come in, we would have been stuck. Getting someone out of the break room was so much harder, so it was better to have the door closed. She opened the door and I let myself in closing the door behind me.
“How are you doing baby?”
I asked without giving her time to talk. I snatched her up off the ground and carried her, pinning her against the wall with her legs in my hands. I looked at her and scanned her chest downwards and planted a kiss on her lips. It was absolutely quiet and the only noise heard was that of our lips smacking on each other. I didn’t want to hear anything else or see anybody else. I could feel the stethoscope around my neck searching for my heightening pulse or my heartbeat I should say. It was throbbing as my body geared for the things it wanted to do. I pulled off her lab coat; dropping it to the floor it revealed her scrubs. We looked pretty much identical in what we were wearing even though I was a doctor and she was only interning. I wanted to rip her scrubs but I knew she had to walk out of the room. So I slowly asked her to remove her shirt, which she did whilst hanging mid-air in my arms. Her breasts emerged; looking like the perfect set I just wanted a piece of it. Immediately I began to work my tongue on the corner of the bra searching for her nipples. She began to moan. I wasn’t even where I wanted to be yet and she was already moaning. Down south, all I could remember was my hard package rising harder between my legs and all I wanted to do was stick it inside. I wanted to stick it deep inside her. I wanted her to feel it in her gut. I wanted her to feel every detail of every inch of my member inside her. All my body wanted to do was connect with hers. I wanted to drive her wild and I was going to do it in that room. I walked her over to the couch in the break room and sat her down on it. In the same swift motion, I pulled her pants down while she removed my stethoscope. I was semi dressed and only in my pants with my hard member erect and pointing at her. She placed her right hand on it and licked her lips. A smile on her face as if to say,
“I can’t wait for this to be inside of me”
She continued to stroke it. I dropped back to my knees and parted her legs. I could see her starting to drip slowly. I licked my lips and she slightly shook. Going down I placed my tongue on her pink. It was wet and I was hungry. Without warning my tongue began to flicker in this crazy zigzag motion from left to right. Slow to begin with and then picking up the pace. I could see her with her hands wide apart grabbing onto the material of the couch. Her knees snapped back and forth as her toes curled. She tried to force her legs to close, clamping my head between her legs. It became a struggle to breathe but I was going to lick every bit of juice from her, till I got every single drop. Looking at me while I glanced up at her, she seemed to look at me with this look of injustice; as if I did something that she didn’t want me to do when in actual fact she wanted me to do it but didn’t know it would be of that much pleasure. I was having the time of my life. Making the woman I was falling for go “crazy” was just perfect. I could not imagine that feeling being given to her by someone else.
So there I was parting her lower lips with my tongue and sticking it inside her. It seemed to awaken something because at that point, she would not let me continue to feast on her with my tongue because now she wanted me to stick my now super hard and waiting package deep inside her tight wetness. So I straightened up gently and on my knees, I slowly slid into her. Wet. Slippery. Soaking. Hot. Tight. Wet. For a quick second, I had to contain myself because every guy would agree with me that going in too fast can mess up your entire routine. You then find yourself looking like a minute man; all because you went in too fast, into what is an amazing area of a woman’s body. Kneeling up straight, I positioned myself and took a deep breath and began to pace. Sliding in and out, in and out. On my hairless chest she dug her fingers in, starting to want to scream. The pleasure of the motions with the risk of getting caught drove her over the edge and she became wetter driving so much more excitement through both of us. It was daring, dangerous and fucking hot. It defined our relationship in some regards. We could do it anywhere, anytime and anyhow (ask the staff at the local Subway). This was the woman I could do anything with. All we needed was to make the right eye contact and let our bodies talk and no matter where we were, on a plane, in a train or even behind a drain or in that hospital break room; we made magic.
Refocusing my mind and looking down at her, she ran her right hand across my face, cleaning up the rest of her juices smeared on my chin stuck on my beard and took it into her mouth and licked it. Argh! I felt chills down my spine that travelled all the way to the tip of my member deep inside her. I almost wanted to explode right then but I held it together clinching my butt cheeks together. The pace began to pick up and I turned her over to my favorite position. On her fours pulling her hair, she turned looking back at me as if to beg me to take it easy but I knew that language.
“Take it easy” to me meant “fuck me harder till I cry and make sure I cum on your dick”
I continued my detailed efforts to ensure that all pleasure was given to her and I was not going to explode early. At one point, I had to distract my mind and think about something else because her wetness was so hot, I had to ensure that early ejaculation was off the table. Her wetness gripped me tight with every inch feeling the hot walls deep inside of her. I grabbed hold of her waist with my right hand, pulling her hair back with my left she got louder and moaned,
“babyplease fuck me harder I’m about to cum on your dick”
Thrusting, my balls continued to slam on her clit and then craziest thing happened. There was a knock on the door.
“Who the hell could that be?”
I asked quietly and what were they doing there?
My member still throbbing inside her while she stayed on her fours. We stayed still and panicked wondering if the person had the key to the room and was going to let him or herself in. I heard the person on the other side of the door say to someone down the hall,
“Oh it’s locked.Letsgo tothe other one”
I heard footsteps as they walked away and I began the motion again, sliding in and out reaching for deeper realms in her insides to ensure that we both hit our climax around the same time as soon as possible before we got caught. It was in and out, in and out with control and force. Her juices trickled down and tickled my balls. I was going insane and I knew she was too.
To speed up the process, I shifted my hands squarely on her clit and began to flicker my index finger. She slapped it out of the way and yelled,
I continued to go in and out of her and then she went silent.
Dead silent. She clamped her knees together with both my hands now on her waist. Her toes curled. Right at the moment I was about to cum, I pulled out of her and she began to drip as she came and exploded in the space between her legs on the floor. Liquids mixing on the floor, I slumped on top of her as she turned around and kissed her. We had to get going and get out of there fast. I headed for the cloth to clean up while she dashed into the break room bathroom and emerged a few minutes later. I looked at her and kissed her again. She walked out of the room first after promising to have dinner with me that Saturday night. I sat in the chair as I tried to catch my breath. That was fun. And sitting there, in that dark room my depressed mind began to take over again. Sigh.
. . . . . .
It was 5:21am and I was pouring my coffee into my cup. I was heading to work but I didn’t want to go. I had just returned about 6 hours before and here I was heading out the door again. The struggle I now faced, I worked hard to become a doctor only to slave my life away to the system. I stopped by the mailbox to pick out the mail. It was a big batch of envelopes. I packed them all and shoved them under my left arm while I headed to the hospital down the street.
The day went by relatively smooth and I was only on my third cup of coffee for the day when I sat at my desk to go through my mail. The hospital desk was now my living room. I was about midway through the mail when I noticed a hand written letter from my aunt. I carefully tore open the envelope and read through the contents inside.
I was dumbfounded and confused. The house was meant to be sold and the money given to me. What was happening? What were my aunt and uncle doing? I couldn’t understand it. Only one line stood out to me and that was,
“…. We are moving into my sister’s house”
My mouth wide open, this felt like a threat. She was trying to ruin me. Why would she do this?!
I blurted out,
“What The Heck…”
Empty 2 and Thanks Shoutout!
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My father stood there motionless. Looking like he had been slapped hard by a Mopol officer. I had to ask the question again.
“What happened between…”
Sandra cut me off
“He heard you”
“Then let him answer”
I snapped back as I stood up.
“Jide, it was a long time ago and I’m not proud of it but yes, it did happen.”
As my voice moved through the gears,
“Son, it was in the past and it’s not important”
He looked at me as if to convince me to forgive him instantly.
“You are a disgrace to this family in many ways and I’m embarrassed to be your son!”
I yelled back at him as I stormed out of the house. I wouldn’t speak to my father for another year after that. It just seemed like it was unfair. These men put us in the firing line. I always hoped that I would have one of those family names that I would carry with pride for the great things my father did. This ruined every bit of credibility or respect we had. I was crushed.
I drove to Arewa’s house to inform her of the things I had just found out. I needed to talk to someone I knew could look into my heart and could understand what I was going through.
I pulled up to Arewa’s house and walked in. Sitting in the first living room, I began telling her all I was told and everything my father said. I honestly have played the situation through my head many times but I still cannot understand how it came about that Arewa and I argued before I left her house; single.
The Arewa I knew when overwhelmed would shut down and or run away. It was very hard to take it all in at once and with all that we had gone through recently, she said,
“This is too much. I just need space… I need a break. I don’t want to do this anymore”
I was taken aback; confused and angry.
“What did she mean?!”
We were supposed to stick together. This was a trying time for both of us and she was going to cop out!
I didn’t know when I said
“Good riddance! You and your family can keep all your bullshit. If you’re going to take away my happiness, I don’t need you. Do whatever you want!”
I got up and stormed out!
I was fuming but I knew as those words left my mouth that I didn’t mean them and I was probably going to regret them.
A few months would pass by with Arewa and I on this ego-enforced break. We weren’t speaking to each other. Messages to prick at each other were posted on social media pages to make the other feel uncomfortable. One of the ones she had that really got to me was on a day she posted a status saying “New state of mind. God knows where my heart now is”. I felt like she had begun to move on from me and that struck me. My ego would not allow me to initiate contact though. I missed my Queen but I was too proud to beg for her.
. . . . . .
“Arewa my dear. I know it is difficult at the moment but ask yourself. Do you truly love him? Could you really see yourself with anyone else? Will you be able to wake up years from now not next to him? Even if it takes two full years for things to line out, that man loves you and wants no one but you. Arewa mi, don’t let fear, pressures of the world and hurt cloud your true feelings. He loves you and you obviously love him”
I read the conversation between her and her mom encouraging her to come back to me and let us work things out. We had been through a lot for over a six year span since we first met. I knew she was the love of my life. I knew I needed to put my antics in check and make some grown decisions.
I was sleeping after a long day of errands and basketball when I got a call from a mutual friend informing me that Arewa had confronted Suzie at a friend’s BBQ that they were both invited to. Arewa confronted her and told her to back off me and stop being shallow. Basically referencing the messages from Suzie that I had been showing her.
I let the person finish and then turned back into the bed and went to sleep. I wasn’t going to die fighting someone else’s battles. I appreciated Arewa wanting to protect what was hers but never air out our laundry in public; Never. I went about my business when I woke up from my nap and headed to the gym. I was running back from my workout when I noticed Arewa’s car parked on the street in front of my house. I deeply sighed as I halted in my tracks. I slowly began walking towards her car. The sun rays shinning down behind me and into her windshield, I opened the car door and sat down in the passenger seat.
“I see you’re working hard”
She started with trying to break the awkward silence. This was always how she was trying to play off an awkward situation and eventually failing and making it even more uncomfortable. My heart smiled. She was too cute.
“Just trying to make sure I keep my slim figure”
I responded with a smile on my face.
And in a complete turnaround from the Arewa I knew, she apologized.
“I’m sorry for overreacting and leaving. I know how much you hate that. I love you and I know we have things to work on but I love you and I want to be with you and no one else.”
I was taken aback and frankly shocked for a few seconds. I finally gathered the words and said,
“I’m sorry too and I’ve missed you.”
Truthfully by Brymo
We talked about things ranging from us to our fathers and even Suzie where she explained how she had lost her temper and gone off on Suzie at the BBQ. I wasn’t even going to address that. I told her it was okay and we just needed to move past it all. She agreed. I gave her a kiss on the lips and a long hug. Arewa was back but how much drama was she bringing with her.
I headed out of the car and opened up my gate as Arewa drove off. I stepped into the game and my phone buzzed. I pulled it out and gasped. Arewa had taken her stance and Suzie just dealt her hand, it was going to get bloody.
News within the Nigerian community travels fast something like an uncontrollable wildfire. It was not long before I was receiving texts asking if I was okay. I was horrified at the move that Suzie had taken. Suzie for refreshers was one of the beautiful but crazy and impulsive women. She was the type that her beauty clouded your vision and practically made you stay when you should have left. She had a horrible temper and I knew that the Instagram post she made was not entirely to ruin me, but was done in the heat of the moment and due to her anger. Women like that have continued to terrify me. I had to be able to trust your judgment and temperament when things get tough. I was shocked.
The whole world now knew about my father and Arewa’s father. That single Instagram post deleted a few minutes later was enough to set the ball rolling. All kinds of conclusions and angles were being drawn out. The fact that our fathers publicly hated each other made it harder for some to believe but for the majority of them, it was the main reason they believed it. In my mind, I kept thinking of how ruined I was.
There I was plotting what to do next with Arewa on Skype. We had to stick together through this one and fight through it together. There was silence over the call with the fire alarm dead battery beep the only thing that was interfering with the empty space between us. I told Arewa I was going to call Suzie. She asked if I was sure and I said I was. I picked up the phone and dialed her number.
It rang about 3 times before she picked up.
“What do you want?”
She asked in a rude tone like I was disturbing her.
Arewa heard it over the Skype call and cringed. She looked furious. I took a deep breath and said,
“Suzie, what was that? What were you trying to prove?”
“Nigga! Don’t come at me sideways. Go and talk to your girl. She was the one that came at me first and I responded. I ain’t no bitch! Someone come at me, I’ll hit them back right where it hurts. Fuck that shit!!”
She ranted on as I interrupted her, now highly irritated…
“Suzie, stop coming for me or my woman or I will bury you and your image in this town.”
“Huh? Nigga what? What the fuck you mean?”
She snapped back.
“I will just happen to lose my memory card and I cannot be held responsible for whatever happens to the pictures on there… Don’t fuck with me. I have enough to make sure you never get a day in the sun in this town again. Back off!”
Referring to the naked pictures she had sent me.
Click. She hung up. I looked at Arewa and smiled. She looked at me knowing that was handled. We were a team… Fuck whatever obstacles that might have hit us before. Now that we got back together we were impenetrable.
I ended the Skype call and got ready to head out to a meeting when my phone buzzed.
It was Arewa. Her message read
“When all this is over, I want you to delete all her pictures. Thanks”
I smiled and shook my head. Women sha.
. . . . . .
The Suzie fiasco had blown over a bit. She was no longer a problem. Breaking down one evening, she called Arewa expressing that what she had with me in the time Arewa and I were broken up felt special to her and how she’ hadn’t had someone care about her that much before. I was touched because she was generally a nice person when she wasn’t being a brat or causing trouble. She and I would eventually talk later months down the road where she apologized for the whole thing but it was a “friendly” reminder that men had to always stay woke. But I also always knew that Suzie was not one to take defeat lightly, I didn’t trust her.
My father had moved down to Arizona with his girlfriend. Away from all the drama and shame. Arewa’s father had resigned from his post and was now looking for new ways like most Nigerian men to make money. He was still actively against Arewa and I being together mentioning it whenever he got the opportunity to people close to us. He was out of the limelight; a complete loner of some sorts.
Arewa had completely cut off her father at this point and was not speaking to him at all.
The shame and reproach that he had brought on her and the rest of the family was too much to bear. In true Arewa fashion, he had to go and go he did.
It was through her yearly routine STI and HIV checkup that it was discovered that Arewa’s iron levels in her blood were dangerously low. It was a difficult thing to hear and with the many ways that it could be treated, the doctor asked that a blood transfusion be the most effective method to be adopted. It was scary but that was a simple prospect that could be handled fairly easily with a donor from her mother.
Arewa and I went over to her mother’s house a few days later to jointly ask her for the blood donation. We didn’t even go there together because it was a big deal. We just happened to have been running errands earlier in the day together. We sat next to each other as I explained the situation to her and let her know why we were there.
“So mummy, we really need your help and after the transfusion Arewa should be fine”
I said. Without responding, Arewa’s mother began to cry. Slowly tears streamed down her cheeks through her tiny tribal marks. She began to sob profusely without saying a word. Confused, Arewa ran to her side and placed her left hand around her.
Asking her what’s wrong.
“Mummy, e ba mi soro. Ki lo se le?”
Arewa gently asked her mother wanting to know more with a concerned look on her face.
For long minutes, she continued to cry without saying anything. I was now sitting on her left side asking her what was going on. It was clear she was hurting; hurting from deep inside. We wanted to help but to fix a problem we knew nothing about? Difficult.
About 12 minutes had passed and still no response. Out of nowhere she gathered herself. Sobbing in Arewa’s arms while sniffling to control her watery nose. She began…
“Arewa my daughter, I love with you all my heart and everything I am in this world but you cannot use my blood. You can’t.”
She began crying again. I wasn’t sure what to say now and I was worried it was going to be something big. Was she dying?
“Arewa omo mi, I am HIV positive.”
She gently said amidst tears as she dropped the bombshell on us. Arewa clutched her tighter and looked up at me in shock.
. . . . . .
“Mummy, what are you saying?”
Arewa asked as her voice shook. The tone had moved from concern to fear and sadness.
“How did this happen?”
“It’s your father”
“I discovered shortly before you were born and have nursed it for years. I am grateful to God for protecting me this whole while and preserving my life”
She sat up to continue explaining
“Your father and I’s marriage was planned by our parents without my consent. There had been some sort of agreement between my father and your dad’s family. I was married off to him right after my A-levels back then. It was after our wedding that I discovered that he was into men. I told my mother back then who told me that there were many cases like that but I should stay and just have kids and not embarrass the family name. I stayed and got pregnant with you. I thought it was God’s way of showing his mercies on me. Who was I to complain?
He has been with various men over time since we married. I discovered I was infected before you were born and I knew you were a blessed child and I named you Arewaoluwa (the beauty of the Lord). Specifically the beauties in the works of the Lord when the doctors told me you were born without the virus. I am sorry I never told you but I never wanted to expose your father and hurt you…”
Arewa and I sat there in shock as she concluded. This was big…Really big.
There was a sense of relief allied with concern when Arewa asked her mother
“So how have you been living the past years?”
“By God’s grace…”
Her mother responded. And that was truly why living that long and also with Arewa not carrying the virus was a miracle; one that we were both extremely grateful for.
That news brought comfort to Arewa’s mother because she was able to tell the truth to her best friend but I truly believe that the news only served to harden Arewa’s heart against her father.
I left that night heading back to my apartment as Arewa decided to spend the night with her mother and cheer her up. Sitting in my car, I thought about the last few months and just thought to myself What The Heck Man?
. . . . . .
A few months had passed and it was beginning to seem like things had balanced out. There had been many changes. Arewa had moved closer to me after getting a new job, my father and I were talking again and Arewa’s parents were in the middle of a divorce.
Arewa had a real hatred for her father now and it scared me because I wanted her to forgive him. Even for all the pain he had caused he was still family and love was still meant to be afforded to him.
Every time I brought him up, she would shut him down. One day I brought up him potentially walking her down the aisle. She snapped at me and stormed out. I was from then on, extremely nervous about bringing him up again.
In my humble opinion there are three times a man feels as nervous as I knew I would be soon. Standing outside the waiting room of a hospital while your wife is delivering, the moment when she’s walking down the aisle towards you at the wedding and the actual act of proposing. In every one of those situations, you know that you influenced the act or the situation but then all the control is transferred to her. She gets to decide whether to say yes or not, it’s all up to God and her if she comes out of that waiting room alive. You just stand powerless and hopeful that you get the outcome that you really want.
I was walking through the mall, swerving and avoiding people as I made my way towards the jewelry store. I pulled up in front of the Kay Jeweler’s store and took a deep breath. I was going to make this decision, like take the first step towards doing it. I was going to ask Arewa to spend the rest of her life with me.
“Good evening sir. What brings you in today?”
A beautiful young lady in the tightest clothing I had seen in a while. I was confused for a second, I thought the plan was to help people get married and not get tempted to wander because my eyes were currently searching down her cleavage with her open top button of her shirt.
I responded with a nervous smile on my face.
“Aww! The big one I see”
She responded with a smile and continued by leading me towards a show glass filled with different kinds of rings.
“What’s your range and do you have a specific type in mind?”
She asked politely.
“About $3,000 – $5,000”
I answered as she began pointing to the shining and heart pulsing cabinet of rings. I pointed to and checked out a few of them knowing fully well that l I was making the right decision but that little bit of nervousness continued to jump towards me.
About 3 hours later I was walking out of the store with no ring in hand. I didn’t choke, they were going to polish the diamond at my request and properly size it to fit. I wasn’t about to let her wear it and then drop it down the sink. Shit. You drop a $5000 ring into the sink; you better turn into a tiny person and jump after it into the sink. God punish devil.
All In ft. Manifest by Camp Mulla
About two weeks later Arewa and I were out by the shoreline in Monterey, CA. Our hotel by the waterfront, it was beautiful. Arewa had no idea why we were out there. I had lied and asked for a vacation citing that we needed a break from all the craziness which we did. Arewa bought it easily.
The second night of our stay there while we had returned from touring the traveling Smithsonian exhibit that was on display at the local museum, I got ready for dinner and left while Arewa slept in the bed.
I left a note next to her telling her where to meet me for dinner.
About two hours later, she joined me at the restaurant while I had caught the playoff game on TV at a local bar. She looked beautiful as she walked in. I was just captivated by her beauty and her smile. This was my woman. She sat across from me as I repeatedly tried to prevent my eyes from undressing her. Leaving dinner we headed out to the beach, it was now past midnight and it was no coincidence. I held her left hand while she held her shoes in her right hand as we walked the coastline together. Reminiscing about the times, the pain, the memories from Oge to Suzie, our fathers, her health scare; we covered it all. She actually said the words “we have been through so much together and we have resisted the trials”.
That was my cue, I stopped and looked at her. Getting down on my left knee, I looked up to her face which was filled with surprise and happiness. I began to speak…
“Walking on the edge of the levy
Hand in hand
Dreams in our hearts
We started this a while back
Time has flown by like the leaves during the spring shedding
We have grown so much together
But the love has stayed the same
You are a fire that burns in my soul
An able partner in this journey through life
And quest for happiness
Our imperfections together are
Perfections in progress
You are a true winner
A fighter determined to be the best
Your beauty is divine
Your smile captures my heart
Your body is a work of art Michelangelo would have been honored to see
I’m the lucky guy
That fate brought to an angel like you
I remember when you wrote our names in the sand
The water came and washed it away
Not our love
But it washed our love into a sea of peace and happiness
Where we can float together as one, 4 ever
To you I want to give my heart
With you I want to grow old
I don’t want the go another second in this world without knowing
That I belong to you and you to me
You have captivated my world
You are my Queen
Come and rule in my heart
And foster great generations with me
Arewa mi, will you make the happiest man in the world and share my plantains forever?
Arewa, will you marry me?
. . . . . .
Folake, Mary, Iyanu, Itunu, Tumininu, Oluwatoyin; I couldn’t set my mind a particular one but I knew I had to soon. I pushed the trolley through the supermarket both my hands on the handles, I looked down at my finger now decorated with my band and my soon to be one and a half year old prince; Olaoluwa (the only name both our fathers were able to agree on from different ends of the world). Arewa’s father had finally moved back to Nigeria and mine was still in Arizona.
Arewa joined me at the end of the aisle rubbing her protruding belly. We were expecting again. She had given me a family, a home, true love. I was thankful for her and our journey together. Through the sea of adversity, she helped me towards happiness, navigating through the strong currents of life’s adversities. Arewa was it for me. She was everything and I could only hope that my daughter would be just as amazing as she was.
We reached the counter and I pulled out my wallet to pay just as Suzie walked in. She stole a smile before Arewa noticed and I smiled back. Arewa looked up and frowned.
“Debit or credit?”
The cashier asked as I put my card back into my wallet.
I turned around and noticed Arewa with a confused and angry look on her face. I looked down at her hand. I had felt this feeling before. The one where it seemed like my entire world was about to crash. Sitting in her palm, she had a condom. I looked down and it and then back up to her face. She composed herself and asked
“Jide, what the heck….?”
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I kept reading the message again, over and over hoping that it was typed out wrong. Sure enough, it was still the same message,
Suzie: 2:16pm “Here you go boo. I hope you are ready to pound this round ass. I can’t wait till she leaves so I can have you to myself. Hope to see you soon. XOXO”
Every time I read the message, I felt like someone kicked my testicles into my stomach and simultaneously punched them back out. Only a soccer player who has been hit with the ball from close range can really relate to what that kind of confused and inconceivable pain must feel like.
I woke up that next morning like my world had ended. I was sure that I had lost Arewa for good. I was now more worried about my reputation. Arewa was the type connected the entire circle in some sort of way. She had friends in your circle, grew up with some or was basically like family with someone in your group. She knew everyone and was loved by everyone. She was never the type to make you look bad for any gain but if her best friends knew what had happened, well I couldn’t vouch for what any of those women would do.
I drove over to Arewa’s that evening after her parents had gone to work hoping that I would be able to talk to her. I had nothing planned. I didn’t know how to start to beg and thinking of her feelings just made me sad on the inside. I was at a loss.
I arrived at her house and knocked. It took a few minutes as I heard her brother ask if he should let me in or not. A few moments later the door opened and it was another brother; one that actually really liked me. He let me in with a handshake and a look on his face that sort of said, “Make it right bro”.
I went up the stairs to Arewa’s room. It was dark as she had the blinds closed and was watching an Indian movie with an almost empty bottle of wine on the floor right next to her.
“What are you doing here?”
She asked with disgust and irritation battling for recognition in her voice.
I began explaining myself. I told her how we had started texting and talking over the phone and how I hadn’t done or said anything to warrant that kind of message. She seemed to be buying the story. I swear I was surprised but I think it was the fact that I came clean and told her exactly what she wanted to know. I was always of the opinion that the truth doesn’t set you free with women, it only takes you out of one problem and still potentially into another.
I then made the mistake when she asked me why I didn’t just talk to her. I accidentally worded my response as if to blame her absence and travels for my actions. Arewa lost it! She literally snapped and began cursing me to get out.
“Leave! I never want to see you again!”
I was trying to figure out how to stay calm and at the same time encouraging Arewa to lower her voice. She then increased it and asked her brothers to kick me out. Knowing our relationship, her brother’s could not bring themselves to kick me out of the house. She was calling me all sorts of names while it seemed like she wanted blood. She was very angry. At one point I almost lost my temper but I was quickly put in check when Arewa threw her phone at me in an attempt to have me. With my own dignity, I left that evening and wondered if there would ever be an “US” again.
. . . . . .
I hadn’t text, called or heard from her in a short while. Since the incident at her house, I needed a couple of days of space. It was a surprise to me when Arewa texted and asked to meet up; in a public place.
The park down the street was private enough to have a conversation without being disturbed but also public enough for someone to save me, if the need arose.
Arewa was more than justified to be upset but I was more upset at the fact that she did not understand that I never touched the girl nor did I have plans to. But Arewa like most women did not think that far ahead. The message coming into my phone was a sign of infidelity and unfaithfulness regardless of what I had done.
Arewa walked out of her car with a blanket and headed for the grassy field.
“Where are we going?”
We ended up sitting on the grass and she went straight to the point and asked,
“Would you have fucked her?”
I answered, looking at her and trying to make eye contact.
Arewa knew who I was and what I would do and that which I would simply avoid. And then she said,
“I’m not sorry I lost my temper but I am sorry for involving my younger brothers. That was wrong of me and I am sorry.”
I also apologized for my deeds after she had made me vow to never contact Suzie again. It was an easy requirement to agree to because I knew who actually meant something to me.
Nightfall slowly crept over the sky and engulfed it. The streets lights went on and fewer cars roamed the streets.
I remember we began talking about how we had both missed each other and how these fights that lasted multiple days were unhealthy. I pulled her in closer to me as it began to get colder. My left hand became very happy as her soft skin touched mine. I wanted to feel everything. I laid her down on her back and began kissing her.
“Jide, there are people here!”
She said referring to another couple in a similar position like us across the soccer field. I looked at them and responded,
“Who cares? They don’t know us”
That was definitely my small brain between my legs talking but I wanted her. It was as if I needed to get out all of the frustrations; we needed to make up.
I slowly crept under the blanket and began to work my tongue around her thighs. She was squirming and asking me to reconsider what I was doing because of the location. I didn’t pay any attention to her as I placed my now hot tongue gently in her wetness. Slurping up her dripping juices, I was out to ensure that nothing was left behind and my thirst was well taken care of. In her normal fashion to control the intensity of my tongue, she placed her hands on my head but I continued determined to have her moan my name. I carried on working my tongue into her like I was searching for an apology from inside her. She was wet. Under the blankets, my head was covered in sweat as I slowly rose up and pulled out my member to welcome him to the party.
Slowly I lowered myself into her. Shifting my body to gently be consumed by her tightness. I was covered in her juices and the warmth from between her legs sent a warming sensation down my spine. I could feel it as she clutched my back and dug her nails in direct response to every thrust into her. I began to speed up the movements and her moans became louder. Now, she was the one who didn’t care as I asked her to keep her voice down. The couple sitting across the field was definitely getting a show, they might not have been able to see us but just hearing the moans was enough for someone to enjoy.
I turned her over to hit it from the back. My favorite spot being my weakness as I grabbed her waist and pounded into her, I knew I was going to explode soon and she was ready for it. A few moments later, we were slumped next to each other kissing and cuddling under the stars. We had overcome Suzie, for now but bigger tests lay ahead.
. . . . . .
Her monthly cycle was either late or it wasn’t coming at all. It had been about a week and there were still no signs of her menstrual cycle.
I wasn’t freaking out about it because everyone has at least one pregnancy scare along the way in a relationship when there is unprotected sex. I wasn’t entirely sure if I had released into her or not but I went ahead to the store and picked up the pregnancy test and headed back to her house. The whole time I had played us having sex in the closet of her parent’s room and having to rush out over and over again in my head. I remember cumming but I don’t remember it being inside her. I felt like I pulled out before I did, but who knows? It was all very wet down there.
What if she was pregnant though? What would happen then? Will I have to marry her?
We were actually able to start a family financially but who would want to bring a child into such a volatile family environment when the heads of both households couldn’t stand each other? I pulled into the driveway and rushed into the house. Arewa’s cousins were still visiting so it was a full house. One of her younger cousins had clogged the shared bathroom upstairs leaving only the bathroom downstairs. Reluctant to use her parent’s bathroom upstairs, Arewa headed into the bathroom to take the test. She returned a few minutes later with a slight smile on her face.
“Well at least I’m not pregnant but I still don’t feel good and I don’t know why…”
She said gently behind her smile while clutching her stomach. I smiled and breathed a sigh of relief before concern covered my face and I replied,
“That’s strange. What else could it be babe?”
“You know I don’t know!”
She seemed to snap as she responded.
“I’m going to take a walk”
I said okay as she put her coat on and walked out into the evening chill. I wasn’t going to go after her; this wasn’t one of those moments. She just had to take space. This was classic Arewa. When frustrated or irritated, her first instinct was to walk away from the situation and then calm down or gather herself to address later or never at all. I found out later that she just had an ongoing allergic reaction to the new almond milk, she had added to her new diet.
I was heading home that evening thinking, our personalities were perfect for each other and a belief that when the time was right, we would actually be very good parents. It was a warming feeling to know that I was in love with a woman so dedicated to caring for others, passionate about her goals and a rock for me. Her Yoruba and pidgin English definitely still needed work but I knew she was the one. I just hoped that God would perfect us for each other in due time because if not, they would sell her in Nigeria in a heartbeat and she would never see it coming.
The music I was playing from my phone stopped as I looked at the phone; it was Arewa.
“How you feeling baby?”
I answered as I parked my car at home. I was madly in love with this woman.
. . . . . .
“Classic Egg’s Benedict?”
The waiter asked and I raised my hand to indicate that it was mine.
“And the vegetarian omelet for you…”
He continued as he placed the plate in front of her Arewa.
“Enjoy your meal.”
He added as he walked away. I remember making fun of her food like I always did. Her dedications to her healthy eating habits were quite amusing from no sugars to no carbs, to only fruit diets. She was on some new regimen every two weeks. I was mostly fine with all her diets unless it affected my personal meals. That’s when I would become defensive like the time she asked that I no longer fry plantain and strictly keep them boiled. I was both baffled and disrespected. Like did she know what plantain meant to me?!
Breakfast was great with her as usual. She was actually feeling better and had an appointment with her doctor the next day to find out why she still felt weird inside. On our way back from the restaurant, we stopped by a family owned furniture place to look at items for my new apartment I was about to acquire. I remember falling love with this couch because it was a his and hers set that allowed us to sit next to each other watching TV or doing whatever but being next to each other. Many men would run from that prospect but I was drawn to the idea that whenever she was over, we would sit and share each other’s space together.
I wasn’t exactly sure what song was playing but I remember one was playing as we pulled up to Arewa’s house as I was dropping her off because she complained about the volume. I parked behind her car on the street in front of her house. She pointed out that her father was home and his best friend was there with his car parked next to her dads. We spoke for a few minutes and she gave me a kiss when I headed out of the car. I watched her walk into the house like I always did whenever I dropped her off. I was about to leave and wanted to respond to the text messages I had gotten which I was doing when I heard a huge bang on my passenger side window.
Startled and shocked, my phone flew out of my hand and I turned to find out what was happening. There was a running person to the driver side of the car… it was Arewa’s father! He had rage in his eyes and fumes blowing out his ears. I was quick enough to press down the auto-lock buttons on the door ensuring that he could not make it in into the car. He was yelling at the top of his lungs,
“I will kill. You want to ruin my daughter’s life. I will end you!!”
I was confused. Arewa was now standing on the passenger side telling her father to stop but he didn’t. He practically ignored her standing there and just continued screaming at me. I was turning around in the car expecting someone to tell me that it was a joke. Some of the neighbors had come out of their houses to play nosy-parkers and I was now becoming extremely embarrassed and angry. I wanted to react but I didn’t even know what I was reacting to.
“What did I do?”
I was finally able to yell out at her father.
“You this useless boy is trying to get my daughter pregnant!”
My mind immediately flashed to the pregnancy test and the fact that Arewa had used the bathroom downstairs. I would find out much later that it was her dad’s best friend that went to use the bathroom and noticed it. He then pointed it out to Arewa’s dad who flew right off the handle and came straight for my blood.
“Abi e ma wo omo olori buruku yi… O fe ba’ye mi je?”
He cursed in Yoruba, consciously acknowledging the presence of the neighborhood crowd now spectating at the madness of the only “black house” on the street.
He basically called me a cursed person trying to ruin his life by getting his only daughter pregnant. I knew I wasn’t going to make it out of there and then I realized that I was in my car. I quickly started the engine and snapped it into reverse and tried to drive off. He was holding onto the car as I made the turn. I floored the gas as I sped away. I could see him motioning in my rearview mirror as I drove off. It was then I noticed myself shaking.
“What just happened?”
. . . . . .
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. . . . . .
Down by Brymo
It had been almost a full week of short, cold responses and ignoring Arewa completely. I was still furious. News had travelled around town that I was almost killed by my girlfriend’s father for giving her herpes. Like What The Heck Man?!
That wasn’t even what happened but trust Nigerians. The story was bound to be different from the truth. I just wanted to be left alone. I was reeling from the pain and the confusion that came from that incident.
As much as I loved Arewa, I was extremely angry at her carelessness for leaving the box in the bathroom. She tried to apologize and make it up to me but I was furious. That was such an irresponsible thing to do. It was like me leaving the condom wrapper on the floor after we had sex. I would never do that. I tried to play that weekend over and over in my head to see how I could have avoided it. There was no way that made sense. I never saw the whole thing coming.
Going out was a struggle. I just wanted to be indoors till it all blew over. I was hoping for something, anything in the Nigerian community to take the focus away from me. A death, wedding proposal, new born or even a deportation story… Anything…. I just needed something!
I was watching soccer highlights on my computer when I received an email on my Mac. It was from a member of the Men’s Association that my father and Arewa’s father were part of.
He began by telling me that he understood my feelings and was sad to see me going through that public embarrassment. He included his number and asked me to call him whenever I had a chance because there was something he wanted to talk to me about.
About twenty minutes later, a man that I recognized his voice answered the phone and introduced himself. I did not know the name very well but I definitely knew the voice. He started off by telling me that what he was about to tell me was confidential and I had to make sure that it was never traced back to him. I promised.
He told me he was doing it to make sure I stopped both families from causing pain and heartbreak for Arewa and I.
He began telling me about the hatred between both our fathers. I began to reconsider the phone call. I knew all of this. This was old news to me. And then he began to hit the good parts. He told me about how I was sent to Nigeria for school, around the time the government was investigating my father for tax fraud a few years prior. He carried on to say that my father served 16 months in the prison that Arewa’s father worked in at the time. I began to sit up straight.
Arewa’s father and my dad apparently became involved with each other with her father sneaking my dad out for “sessions” in the break room. He said it was a regular thing that the staff did with the inmates and our father’s hit off their relationship easier because they were from the same part of Nigeria. My eyes grew bigger, my heart raced, I could feel my pulse in my ear. What The Heck Man?!?!?!?!
He continued that the relationship went along for about 7 months until my father and some other inmates ganged up to snitch on the staff for early releases. Arewa’s father never knew that my father was part of the people that snitched. All he knew was that his dirty supervisor, who covered his ass by not blatantly firing him, suspended him for a year from the department. The suspension gave him the opportunity to still get a job later, which he would eventually do.
I was shaking now. This man was making very serious claims about two men which could potentially ruin them.
He continued by telling me that the hatred between Arewa’s father and mine only started when Arewa’s father found out through another inmate that my father had planned the whole thing from the beginning. The meeting, the relationship and the exposure; it was his get out of jail early ticket. He said that Arewa’s father had confronted my father at the Nigerian committee elections and my father had told him that he needed to stop threatening him or he would tell the whole world about what really happened. Since then, they have played enemies to ensure that none of them ever had to tell the story.
The man stopped talking. My mouth was ajar. I was shocked. My father and the father of the woman I love had sexual relations?! I did not know what to say.
I slowly gathered my speech and asked the man how I was supposed to believe everything he said. He coughed and said,
“My son is the doctor at the prison your father served time in. He told me everything he saw and heard. The reason this must not be traced back to me is to protect my son, not really me.”
I thanked him and hung up the phone. For about 45 minutes I sat on the couch in that same spot processing everything I had just heard. Tears began rolling down my eyes. I wasn’t sure why I was hurt but I was. I felt betrayed.
It took me a minute to gather myself and when I finally did, I set out to get the facts straight. I knew my father’s medical information, so I hopped on my laptop and keyed it in. The man was right. My father had visited the hospital with a genital rash and had tests done to rule out STI’s.
My hand was covering my mouth in shock. I wanted to cry out louder but didn’t know how. Arewa and I had been focusing on the wrong things, like a mirage we thought the problem was just the hate between our fathers but we never truly knew what we were dealing with. There was a desert of lies that our fathers had led us into and left us for dead with no hope that our love would survive. My thoughts circle back as I heard the garage door rise as my dad and his girlfriend arrived. They walked into the house talking about something and that was when I dropped the bomb.
Directly I asked my father,
“What happened between you and Mr Amusan? Specifically while you were in jail…”
My father stopped dead in his tracks. Sandra, his girlfriends eyes lit up, I sat up straight. He never esperred it, I needed the truth or it was going to be a deadly day.
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Arewa rushed into the garage with her finger over her mouth motioning me to keep the noise level down and head out through the side door. I was feeling crazy as she planted a quick kiss on my face and pushed me out of the house. It was a close call. I stayed at the side of the house and put my clothes on. Somewhere in all my nervousness I must have timed myself wrong because as I walked out the side gate to my car, Arewa’s father walked out the front door. We both stopped in our tracks, stared at each other.
“Good evening sir..”
I sheepishly muttered thinking I had been caught and my life was about to be over.
“What are you doing here?!”
He questioned with a hint of anger in his voice.
He seemed upset but it was evident that he didn’t know that I’d just come from inside his house.
“I heard Arewa was home sir, so I wanted to say hi…”
“No she is not! Go home”
He snapped back at me. I bowed my head to fake disappointment and walked towards my car. A slow smile parted my face. I had escaped!
. . . . . .
A few weeks later, Arewa told me about this internship program she had gotten in San Diego. She said it would last for 3 months and that her father had been pressuring her to do it. She expressed that it was clear that he was just trying to get her out of my vicinity, but she’d agreed to do it. The experience was going to be great for her but I was more concerned about the separation. I feared the effects of the distance. I was sure she would learn a lot but we were going to be losing a lot too. My biggest and most secure confidant being far away from me was something I was not prepared for but I was willing to show support because I loved her. It was truly hard.
I acted out and intentionally argued with her over everything. It was my way of expressing that I was nervous about her going even as much as I loved her. I think the fear I had stemmed from some form of insecurity that what if she found someone else where she was going or realized that she wanted more from a man that I could not give her.
The plans for her move continued to fall into place and soon she was ready to leave.
A few nights before, Arewa called and asked me to accompany her on the10 hour drive down to San Diego. I asked about her parents. She explained that she had convinced them that a friend (a girl) would be driving down with her. I was glad. I immediately booked a return ticket and began to pack. A few nights later, we were on the road. We were about 3 hours into the drive as Arewa was fast asleep. I could feel her waking up as I was beginning to doze off. I had the music on full blast to help keep myself awake. She reached for the volume knob and turned the music down wanting to have a conversation. It initially helped to keep me awake but then I began to fall asleep as she spoke. She noticed it and began to poke me. I absolutely hated being poked at or pinched. I looked towards her direction as she began to get frustrated at her failed attempts to keep me awake. I ran my hand along her cheek and assured her that it was not her fault and that I was just tired. The next song came on and I continued to fight the sleep. The next thing I knew, Arewa reached over and began to unbuckle my belt. I was confused but my member got the message loud and clear as he began to rise to the occasion.
She pulled my briefs down and pulled him out, taking all of him into her mouth. She was working her warm tongue all over my shaft. I was definitely awake now! The problem I was having now was trying to stay focused on the road. She was slurping her spit as she worked from tip to base caressing my balls in her hand as she worked. The car was swerving as I struggled to maintain focus. I didn’t even realize when I sped right under a bridge, straight past a highway patrol officer that was parked there. As soon as I drove past him, he hopped on the freeway and began following me. He tailed for a little over a mile before turning on his signal lights flashing us to stop. The only problem here was that I told Arewa and she did not stop. I was about to run mad. I pulled over to the side of the road. A mixture of the possibility that we would be caught plus the wonders her tongue was working on my hard member had me on the brink of ejaculating. The officer waited a few minutes before coming out of his car; he must have been running the plates. In that time, I exploded a full load of hot silk into Arewa’s wanting throat. The officer was now walking towards us. Arewa took on her last lick and quickly covered my pants with her sweater. The officer walked up to her side of the car and peered through the window. Arewa greeted him as she wiped her mouth of all the fluid. The officer realizing the situation smiled and asked us where we were headed. I told him and he smiled again. He told us to be careful and drive safe before walking back to his car. Arewa had the biggest “dirty girl” grin on her face. She knew she was bad and that was part of why I loved her. She planted a kiss on my cheek and whispered in my ear…
Bad Bad Bad – G.R.I.P Boiz
“Now stay awake or I’ll have to go back for round two.”
My member rose instantly.
. . . . . .
It had been 3 months without my baby but she was back. Her internship was the success we all thought it would be but I was beyond pleased that she was home. We had missed dinner dates, movies, walks and cuddling. I loved cuddling with her when we locked our legs together as we slept. It just felt right!
That weekend, we decided to have dinner and a movie. I always hated the order of things when it came to that because I would eat dinner first and then sleep through the entire movie. So I asked for dinner to be after the movie and she agreed. She was late as always getting ready for me to pick her up. We got to the movie theater later than scheduled and found out that the tickets for that particular showing time were sold out. The next movie started about 45minutes later. We basically had time to kill. Seeing as we hadn’t had any sex in a while we decided to go to the empty secluded parking lot next to the movie theater. The plan was to have a quickie and head back to watch the movie but I should have known better; it was Arewa after all, my undercover freak.
We pulled into the parking lot with the movie theater behind us and some residential homes to the right of us. I made sure we were parked closest to the wall to prevent the people on the second level in the home being able to look into the car. It was a proper beat up 92 or 93 Lexus. The right rear side was bashed in from a hit and run she had been involved in a while back. The leather seats that burned butts and backs in the summer heat were the bed for the afternoon. We both crawled into the back seat without coming out of the car. I pushed the seats forward as she slid her sweat pants down preparing for me. She looked at me as I turned around as if to let me know that I had work to do. Her first kiss set the tone. It was wet, hot and inviting as her left hand pulled my head in towards her body that was now laying down into the back seat. I kissed back; my tongue swirling in her mouth as our body used our mouths as a mixer for the dicey cocktail it was preparing. I let my left hand head down south to drown in her wetness while my right hand travelled back to unhook her bra. Every motion executed perfectly without breaking our now workout worthy make out session. I pulled back and looked deeply into her eyes. I was in love with Arewa. This wasn’t some Romeo and Juliet type of thing but it was damn near close. She was all I wanted and I was all she wanted. At least that was what our bodies were saying. I worked my left index finger in the fastest motion I could think of. She was moaning into my mouth as my lips trapped the sounds. I let my mouth go and placed her left breast in my mouth and gently nibbled on her rock hard nipples. I slowly kissed her navel as I worked my way down to her chocolate factory. I could hear the dripping, as I got closer. She was dripping and my tongue began to water. I planted kisses around her pink making sure to avoid her clit and then she did one of the sexiest things a woman had ever done to me. She placed both her hands behind my head and pressed it onto her clit forcing me to approach and begin to dominate. I twirled my tongue from side to side waiting to find my rhythm and then it came. I could feel her juices covering my barely visible moustache. She tasted so good. Like expensive milk chocolate that melted in your mouth on the first touch of the tongue. Sigh, it was magical.
After about 10 minutes of making her squirm and her yelling out how much she hated me because I was making her cum, I straightened up my body and slipped the condom on. I was ready to dig in. I parted her legs and placed them on my shoulders as I guided my rock hard member into her. She moaned with her tone asking me to be gentle. I slowly went in and out covering my shaft with her wetness. Fully lubricated, I began to pace my thrusts. Each one deeper than the last, I was going to make her feel me in places she never knew possible. She was looking at me for dear life as I grabbed her neck with both hands and continued to dig into her totally dripping body. We were literally dripping in sweat at that point. She was yelling out obscenities, as she knew I was intentionally stroking deeper and deeper. I had her turn around for a change in position as she poked her ass up to me. I held both cheeks apart and slowly slid back in. She attempted to grab into the seat belt straps but I think she realized the waste of effort it would be as I was clearly driving her over the edge. I wanted to cum so I began to pick up the pace. She wasn’t going to let that happen. She had me lay on my back and then she got on my member standing upright and began riding. Her booty clapping on my dick was beyond amazing and it was driving me nuts! I was saying all kinds of crazy shit and then she pulled my pulsing member out of her your pussy and started sucking it. All her pussy juices off my hard cock and she went on to suck my balls too! Oh yeah! She took me to the brink of explosion and then she rose up and positioned her wetness on my member and began riding again. I grabbed her hair while she screamed calling me “daddy” and telling me to “fuck her harder!”
She could tell that I was nearing my climax as I had both my hands on her waist as she continued to bounce up and down. She knew it was very close as I went completely silent to focus on my imminent explosion. She bounced her juicy ass with precision, ensuring that each stroke was full and deep as her juices flowed onto my balls. It only took a few more thrusts and then I heard her say,
“Cum inside me baby. Blow that load inside me! I want to feel you”
I exploded inside her just as she had asked. We lay there on the leather seats, drenched in sweat and barely fitting onto the seat. She placed her head on my chest as she complained about a cut she felt on her knee. It must have come from the seat belt clip when I had her on all fours. I apologized for it and promised her some frozen yogurt. The car windows were entirely fogged up as we joked that we couldn’t tell if it was still bright outside the car. And then it dawned on both of us! We had forgotten entirely about our movie. But hell, we had just made the R-rated version and it was steamy.
. . . . . .
Arewa by Sean Tizzle
Arewa and I had been fighting a lot lately. It was nearing the end of the semester and the stress was starting to get to both of us. We weren’t talking on the phone as much. A full day would pass and maybe one phone call would be exchanged between us. I was starting to feel under appreciated and somewhat forgotten. I found myself spending most of my nights speaking to Suzie; one of our mutual friends. We had gotten close after Arewa moved. Her boyfriend was in a different state and it seemed like we just got each other. I was never planning on having sexual relations with her but with time a lot of flirting drifted into our conversations. One day I accidentally sent a message intended for Suzie to Arewa. I played it cool and lied my way out of the situation but I knew Arewa was now suspicious of me and wanted to get to the bottom of things. Completely forgetting that she had the password to our joint phone account, Arewa logged on and documented my call logs with Suzie. Women snoop… they’re the greatest detectives alive! She confronted me and accused me of cheating. I was able to deny it because I knew she was speaking of physical cheating but I knew I was emotionally cheating. I felt bad about Arewa having to feel like there was another woman and I tried to cut off Suzie but it was hard. I was in too deep.
One afternoon, we were driving around town as Arewa was visiting. The conversation somehow led to my relationship with Suzie and how she knew that it had not ended, I vehemently denied it. The entire time, my phone was buzzing in my pocket. Arewa must have sensed something with that famed intuition of women and somehow she cornered me into having to prove to her that it was not Suzie texting me. I was screwed. I tried to give some flimsy excuse about how having to show her my phone meant she didn’t trust me. She was starting to buy my bs when my phone buzzed again, I knew it was Suzie. I just felt it in my bones. Arewa snatched the phone with speed. She opened the message and her jaw dropped. She turned at me and glared. For about 10 seconds she didn’t say a single word and then right when I was about to start speaking, she threw my phone right at me and told me to get out. We were in the middle of nowhere and she asked me to leave. I walked out of her car with my briefcase and jacket. I opened the message as she sped away. I was right… It was Suzie. The message was enough to break a marriage. It was an image with a message that was totally not needed and certainly unexpected. It read…
Suzie: 2:16pm“Here you go boo. I hope you are ready to pound this round ass. I can’t wait till she leaves so I can have you to myself. Hope to see you soon. XOXO”
I felt my knees give way under my body. I knew I was fucked.
Gbege by Charass
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“That would be $9.57”
She said to me as she looked back at my milkshake that was filing up on the machine. I fished for change to complete my order and gave it to her. They knew me here and that was my regular order; 6 McChicken’s and a large strawberry shake. I walked out into the chilly Fremont weather and hopped on my bike. California was not described as this cold but here we were. Balancing the milkshake in my right hand and my bag of hot McChicken’s in my left, I began peddling home. My knees ached. It was all the weight I had put on; 65lbs to be exact. Welcome to America, I was told.
I finally tucked myself in bed after navigating through my father and his girlfriend and whilst hiding my food, they had issues with my diet but I wasn’t listening to it. It was my money and I would spend it how I wanted. I made sure all the lights in the room were turned off while I switched on my dad’s DVD player and started up Hilary Swank’s movie “Boy’s Don’t Cry” that I had stopped by the local Blockbuster video store to pick up. I had to watch this movie for my Film studies class. Freshman year struggles with no laptop or hope to wait for one as my father had told me I had to earn it. I was hoping to get it for my 18th birthday, which was in about 3 months.
I finished my food and struggled to stay awake to finish the movie, I failed.
It was only 1pm and I was already tired and ready to be out of campus but there was no way for me to that especially when I had class at 3:30pm. I was trying to take a nap in the library when I felt a tap on my shoulder. With a combination of an irritated and surprised look, I turned around. At first I thought someone was waking me up because I was snoring but right there was a beautiful white lady. She must have been about 22 or 23.
“Hey, sorry to wake you but do you have a calculator by any chance? I have homework to turn in and I’m stuck but also without a calculator”
I began to get less angry and I said
“What class is it for?”
She responded with curiosity like I shouldn’t care.
“I have a calculator”
“But do you mind if I take a look? I’m pretty good at math”
S.O.S – Yung L
She said with some relief. Her assignment was a piece of cake. She was not a great math student but she was a fantastic photographer. Her name was Shay and I would become her “math tutor” for the remainder of the semester working with her on assignments and prepping for exams. It reminded me a lot of my time back in Nigeria.
My father had sent me back to finish my secondary school education after a summer where he had previously told me I would be staying in California living with him. It was tough to go back, but I still had friends there and I was going to a new school so it was a fresh start and freedom for me.
I spent 3 years in Nigeria alone while I secretly felt like my father sent me to Nigeria because of the lady he was dating at the time. I was fine with it because I thought he would break up with her soon and he was sending me good money to take care of myself back then.
I graduated as one of the best and youngest students in my school at the time and I was looking forward to going to a university in Nigeria. It was a surprise when my aunt told me that my father wanted me to come to America to attend college. It was mixed feelings all over as I was leaving independence and control to basically become a “second class citizen”. I was born in Virginia where my mother and my father lived for many years until my mother passed away. I reckon the environment was too overwhelming for him to remain in, so we packed our bags and moved over to the sunshine in the Golden State; California.
I was a great student but I struggled with confidence as I worried about my accent and my age. I was one of the younger students in the class and I think my academic performances were not always appreciated by some of my classmates who thought that I was intimidating and such.
Shay understood that and tried to be as helpful as possible. She encouraged me to be confident in myself as our friendship grew. One evening, I had stayed after class to speak to a professor and lost track of time. I was a few minutes late to the bus stop and I missed my bus. My father was out of town till late that evening, so I began to walk home. It was going to be about an hour walking and about a mile into my walk; I heard a honk behind me. I turned around and it was Shay. She asked to give me a ride home, which I gladly accepted. That evening we spent about two hours outside my house talking about various things and I even got a chance to tell her what my name Jide stood for. Like most people I told about the meaning of my full name, Babajide, she was captivated and excited to hear many of the stories I had to share about my time and growing up in Nigeria.
Shay and I would get closer and closer till it lead to sex. Some of the greatest things I learned about women, I learned from Shay. It was not hard to break up when we did. We were never truly together and we knew why we messed with each other to begin with. She needed a cheap tutor and I needed a mentor. Every young man or woman needs an older mentor at some point early on.
. . . . . .
After Shay, my eyes were opened. I knew what I expected in a woman and what she had to have. If she didn’t have it, it was not going to fly. I had been searching for what she would like with no success. Turning down various “potential” women for various reasons. I remember this girl Ogechi that wanted to be with me. We had gone on a few good dates but it just didn’t feel right. I wasn’t sure that we would last through difficult times. Fundamentally, our values and outlook on certain things did not align. She seemed to care about shoes more than people and focused on spending all her money on vain things. I was a homebody and I wanted cook in dates with cuddling and just sharing each other’s company. She wanted to be out and about, being the talk of the town. It was only a matter of time before we began to drift apart.
One day we attempted to spend time together, the date was set and then she hit me up saying there was a party and she would rather have us meet there. I got the message loud and clear. Like a man after one thing only, I needed some sex so I went. And the craziest thing happened, she never showed up. I found out later that she had been seeing this party promoter in town. He was the type of guy she wanted; flashy and out there. He was the total opposite of me.
I was extremely let down that night at the party but that was the night my luck turned. I met Arewa, an English major who was finishing up her degree and looking to change careers into Youth Advocacy. This young woman charmed me. She had a good head on her shoulders; her smile was captivating even in her 5’4 frame. And she was beautifully endowed from head to toe. I think God created her on his off day. Like he had a brilliant idea and he just had to go into the office and viola! She was made. I had to play it cool all night, as I didn’t want her to see how much I was /into her. That night we talked for hours. Leaving the party at one point and staying outside seating on the back of her white two door Saturn while we chatted away. We exchanged numbers after two guys fighting over some girl prematurely ended the party. Africans right?
I couldn’t stop thinking about her that night as I lay in bed. So after having a full blown conversation with my mind, I texted her
Me: 2:47am: Hey, this is Jide from earlier in the night. I couldn’t stop thinking about you so I decided to text. I hope that’s not too forward?
Arewa: 2:48am: Hey! No, it’s not! Would it be weird if I told you that I was just thinking about you too? 🙈
I couldn’t stop smiling as I jumped up in my bed and fist pumped into the sky like I had won an Olympic medal. I called her shortly afterwards and we talked till she had to get ready to leave the home. She was volunteering at this free clinic called Mani on that Saturday morning. I swear she was perfect.
Those phone calls became more frequent and the dates piled up as we drew closer to each other. One day, she texted me and asked me to drive out with her. I asked her where to. She said she was going to drop off something for her father at his job. He was a prison warden. Well paid but his job was in the middle of nowhere. It was on that long drive that we decide to exclusively explore growth and potentially a relationship. We arrived at her father’s job and she went inside while I stayed in the car. I was terrified that he would walk outside with her or something but he didn’t. We returned home and continued to grow. I began to get really drawn into everything about her. Whenever she wasn’t around, I would yearn for her. When she was at school, which was 8hrs away, I would itch to be with her or around her. She was all I could think of.
Always On My Mind – Nosa
. . . . . .
I was on this wave of love. It’s hard to explain. I just felt really in tune with her and I wanted to show her. I only had $18 in my account so I asked my sister for $2 and I drove to the bank and deposited the $2 I had just acquired and pulled out a $20 at the atm. I remember the teller looking at me really weird as I deposited an amount so little. I tried not making eye contact. I drove to the nearby grocery store and purchased one bottle of Apple Cider (it looked like a wine bottle and was all I could afford), two strawberry scented candles, a small tub of Dreyer’s ice-cream, chicken and a few tomatoes, bell pepper and one onion. Everything added to the rice and plantains I had brought from home was under about $15 dollars and the rest of my change I put towards gas in my car. It was barely anything, just over the reserve line in the car. I headed out towards her apartment asking her roommate who was going to be gone for the weekend to please leave the key under the mat. When I arrived, no one was there and I had about 2 hours to prep before she got out of work at the school gym. The food was done about an hour and half in, so I hopped in the shower and as I was drying off myself, I heard her car pull up. I quickly put my clothes on and sat on the couch. A few minutes later carrying her backpack and all her other items, she stumbled into the living room. I remember verbally alerting her than I was in there before she opened the door so she would not attempt to pepper spray me. She had one of those on her phone and every woman should have one of those pepper spray things on her for safety.
She said with a huge smile on her face
“I could have sworn that I saw your car downstairs. Did you cook?”
I nodded, planting a kiss soft kiss on her forehead and giving her a hug. She dumped all her belongings on the couch and headed for the kitchen, I redirected her by blocking her path and forcing her to go straight into the shower. She could touch the food after she was done.
I laid out the table and poured out two glasses of the cider. Serving the food, I always had to make sure that my plantain was more than hers. Don’t ask me why, I just had to.
When she emerged from the room, her skin glowed. Covered in her cocoa butter lotion, it was extremely inviting. I gave her one of those savage looks I used to flash her as she walked around in her blue short shorts. Licking my lips, my eyes closed slightly as I zoned into my target. She would always giggle and joke about how she didn’t want me to look at her that way but she knew that she secretly loved it; just as much as her kitty wanted me to pet her.
Dinner was great. One of the best you could make under $15. Years later the talk of the town would be $200 dates. I realized how far from the basics our generation drifted. We sat next to each other still at the dining table finishing up our ice cream. My thinking was “I just ate spicy food and I really want to feast her out. This ice cream will cancel out the pepper”. I sat there rolling each spoon of ice cream around my mouth to ensure that it was covering every inch of my mouth and eliminating the pepper. She was looking at me like I was crazy and to be quite honest; I was looking at her plotting how to drive her crazy.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
She asked knowing what was about to happen. I ignored her question and began to lean in towards her. I moved her freshly braided hair to the left side of her face as I planted soft kisses around her cheek as I worked my way towards the back of her right ear. She was starting to squirm as she kicked her head backwards. My kisses continued warmly as I moved downwards toward her collarbone with my nostrils blowing hot air down her neck directing my path. I was now running my hand along the inner side of her thighs. My index finger playfully grazing her clit., she was moaning and telling me I was wrong for this. Like I actually gave a shit. I pushed her seat back and knelt down in front of her. Licking my lips, she knew exactly what was coming next. I pulled her shorts down and tossed them to my back and they landed on the dining table. Very slowly, my tongue began to lick around her now dripping chocolate factory and my dessert was not enough, so I certainly wanted more. I was lapping up her juices as I used both my hands to pull open her southern lips and I stuck my tongue in there. She clutched my head, which was now in her hands tighter and put both her legs on my back. The deeper I went into her, the harder she clutched my head. She was moaning loudly as her voice echoed in the empty room. I was ready to render my member to be a nuisance inside her. I slowly stood up, her juices smeared all over my beard. I ran my left index finger over it and put it in my mouth, it somehow sent chills down her spine. She stood on her feet and turned around. Presenting her perfectly sculpted butt to me, I slid in. Her wetness drowning my rock hard member inside her, I had to catch myself. It was easiest to slip up and cum right when you slide in. I clinched my ass cheeks together as I found my rhythm, in and out and I controlled my thrusts. She was moaning my name as I grabbed her waist on both ends and dominated her body with each stroke. She was clawing away at the table trying to find something to grip on. The height imbalance was getting to me. Arewa, wasn’t very tall and so with her bent over, I had to bend my knees to get a good position. So I mounted her on the dining table. It wobbled a bit. She was on the endowed side of things. Everything balanced out in the right places on her body with her rear being her most gifted area. It was hot. It was tight; I could feel every muscle gripping my shaft as I slid in and out. It was amazing. She was amazing. Her body was amazing and felt perfect in my hands. I knew I was about to let loose as I continued to thrust into her while she stroked her clit.
And right then with the vigorous motions, my thrusting and her shaking, it happened. The table tipped over. She hit the ground, while I yanked her backwards to avoid the table crashing on her foot. We laughed as I pulled her in. The kissing began again; we were going to finish the job.
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. . . . . .
We had been dating for about a year now and things were going stronger by the day. Arewa was in town visiting for Spring break when she invited me over for a BBQ her father was hosting at their house. I felt like I was ready to meet her father. She had waited to introduce me to him till she was sure, I would stay around or I was serious. Her mother was not the one to worry about she told me. I dressed smartly but I was nervous.
When I arrived at her house, Arewa in her usual manner talked to me and encouraged me to not worry and told me that her parents would love me. I walked into the house expecting to not come out alive. Her mother was extremely nice! She gave me a big hug and immediately set out to make me a plate of food. I was feeling loved. About 20minutes in, her father returned from a store run. We walked up to him and she introduced me
“Daddy, this is Jide I told you about”
“Oh! Young man, how are you? I have heard great things about you”
he said as he firmly shook my hand. Arewa was starting to smile in the corner of my eye as she was glad the interaction was going well
“Fine thank you sir”
I muttered while shaking and struggling to hold maintain my resolve.
“What’s your last name again?”
I responded with confidence as if I was proud of my father’s name. He looked at me and a frown came across his face. He tried to hide it but I caught it early.
He said as he tried to cover his disappointment
“Well, enjoy the party. Okay?”
he said as he walked away. It was then I knew something was wrong. I looked at Arewa whose smile had faded now and was replaced by a look of surprise and somewhat shock. I couldn’t make any sense of it. I barely lasted another hour at the party before I left. I was confused.
Arewa would later find out that there had been a huge misunderstanding between both our fathers over the Presidency of the Fremont Association of Nigerians a few years back where it had gotten very close to punches being thrown at the meeting. To put it in all honesty, our fathers hated each other.
. . . . . .
Both our fathers had told us to break up and not even consider being together any further but we clearly weren’t listening. Her mother liked me and secretly encouraged her to follow her heart. She was putting herself on the line by taking that stance; I adored that woman for believing in us.
One evening, I came over to her house because she told me her father was at work till 9pm and her mother was in Nigeria. He was not meant to be back till about 10pm. We were on the floor of her room as they had moved the bed out of her room in the process of converting it to a guest room. She laid a comforter on the floor and we lay there watching Grey’s Anatomy on her laptop. Sharing the headphones with one ear each, we lay there. One bud in my right ear and the other in her right ear, our legs entangled together. The moon rays snuck into the room through the blinds behind us. It was hot in the house we were both too lazy to open the blinds. The episode ended and we just lay there on our sides looking into each other’s eyes. This was love and I knew she loved me; no matter what anyone said.
I began to run my left hand on her right hand as she looked into my eyes; she knew what was coming as I drew her in closer. I began to kiss her soft lips as they spoke right back to me. It was nothing forced, just simple kisses that communicated the purest of emotions. It said, “I love you and I want you”. She turned onto her back while I towered over her. Continuing to kiss her, she began to take my pants off. It was getting hotter in the room by the second and I knew she wanted me inside her. I stopped for a second and looked down at her. She was just so beautiful to me. I pulled off my pants and proceeded to pull hers off. She lifted her butt off the ground so I could pull it off. She looked at me and said,
“you sure you want to do this? I don’t think you’re ready for this”
I knew what she was doing. She was just trying to rile me up. Trying to stir up motivation for me to do things to her. I smiled. And took her breast into my mouth, I bit on it. She smacked me hard on my back. I looked up and smiled.
She then proceeded to say
“Biting me won’t make me cum faster. You have to put that inside me to make me…”
I didn’t let her finish when I kissed her hard. I pulled her lips into mine and gently bit on her lower lip. I was riled up and now I was motivated to break her. I just wanted to make her moan my name like it was the only word that would give her breath. There was no feasting on her wetness, I just slid right in. The strokes were deep and hard, I maintained eye contact as she clutched the sheets. Her eyes rolling back into her head as I began to pick up the pace. There was a certain fierce look on my face as I panted hard with each pump
“Jide, slow down. Jide, Jide, you’re hitting my…”
she moaned away
she dug her left hand into my back pulling me into her. I was nowhere near my climax because I was determined to make sure her knees buckled and she could not walk out of there.
Turning her over, in our favorite position. She pleaded with me to take it easy. Take it easy? Did she not remember a few minutes prior when she practically told me that I would not be able to please her. I was furious and somewhat turned on. I knew it was just for the experience as she wanted to stoke the fire but I was mad. I slid into her holding her cheeks apart. I started off slowly and then once again, the pace was up. I was squeezing her by her waist as I thrust in and out. Her butt was rippling with each thrust and she began to wait
“Jide, it’s too deep. Itsss tooo fuckinggggg deeeeppppp. Oh shit!!!!!”
I wasn’t having any of it. I continued to pound. Sweat dripping off my chin onto her back. I was going in and out faster than I had ever done before. I couldn’t understand why she wanted me to stop now. She wanted all of this and that’s what she was going to get. As I neared cumming, I slid my right hand around and began stroking her clit while I slid my member in and out of her. She began screaming
“I’m going to cum… Fuck! I’m goooinggg to cummm”
There it was, her knees locked as she squeezed in her butt and let out the loudest moan of the night. My ejaculation was only a few seconds after. And then we slumped, we were both drenched in sweat and panting. Trying to catch out breath to discuss what just happened, she put her hand on my chest and began talking.
Dr Kitch aka The Needle – Lord Kitchener
“Babe, that was amazing. Wow, did you get bigger?”
“Quiet babe, hold on”
I cut her short.
“Is that your dad?”
I asked hearing Nigerian music as a car parked in front of the house.
Her eyeballs grew large and so did mine.
She said as she sat up.
I jumped up and scrambled to pick up my things. I immediately ran downstairs and headed towards the garage. Hiding in the garage behind the other car. They had two cars in the garage. I hid behind her mother’s car in my underwear only and socks on. What in the world? I was sitting there hoping that he would not come in and open the door and as if God was trying to punish me, I heard his voice approaching the garage door from inside the house.
He opened the door, I held my breath and then I heard begin to walk towards the car I was hiding behind. I was sweating again and it wasn’t the same kind from sex. This one was cold and dripping right down my forehead. And then he stopped and said
“Ewa, can you believe that I took the wrong key?”
He turned around and headed back into the house. I immediately got up and was dashing for the side door in the garage to let myself out when the door opened again. What The Heck Man?! I thought I heard him go into the house and he was heading upstairs for the keys. There I was standing in my underwear with my socks on looking like a fool committing adultery being hunted by the woman’s husband. I was screwed. I turned around and froze….
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