Fiction

Still Alive 🌹

Hey Smile, I pray you never leave. 🌹

It was recently brought to my attention that I haven’t written one of these audits in a while.
The last one was 2020. I think with the way the world has gone over the past few years, I can be cut some slack.
Glad to be able to pen this now and give you some insight into my world and where my mind is or has been.

I also figured I would share some of my 2022 goals with you

Big Goals for Big Daddy Adewus
1. Pray More
2. Touch more lives
3. Be kind to me
4. Enjoy life
5. Argue less, resist the urge to defend yourself


Faith:
I am a bit tired of my church. My personal relationship with God is “good” at best.
I haven’t felt too hot on certain things connected to my faith recently but thankfully I still pray and talk to God and he talks to me.
I am working on the latest edition of Convenient Christian (a piece I write, I’ll post links here for you to check them out), so look out for that. Link to the last one here.

Because I have been “running” from God a bit – I think it has affected some key things I relied on him for. Discernment, gratitude, divine guidance and so on.
The past week has been hard on my heart for various reasons but mostly because I felt I had let God down. Not in specific actions – before anyone thinks this is some “gotcha” moment but because I just wasn’t plugged in.
The lessons from the past year and this last week have been hard. But I was able to just lay it all at his feet this past Sunday. I went back home.
And while I worshipped and praised – he spoke to me.
Then the Pastor came on his sermon was EXACTLY for me.
Man, when God is with you, he is with you. I am thankful but there is still more work to be done.

2021 Final Score: D
2022 Expected Score: B+

I always felt sadness and pain detaching but looking back, God has never been wrong and my life has been better after each phase. Trust God.

Fitness:
As I write this, it has been 11days on my Green & Grown diet. Except for Chicken and Turkey – everything I have eaten over the last 11days has either been vegetables or things have grown out of the ground.
I am starting to like the way I look but I also have been going super ham at the gym lately.
I got this app called Fitbod – it basically gives you exercises every day to do and helps take away the guesswork. I love it!
At 7am every day, it tells me what workouts to do that morning and I can crush it.
All in all, I am enjoying this new phase. I decided that I want to get the body of the rest of my life, starting now.
I am tired of waiting till a week before a vacation to start detoxing or drinking smoothies.
If I want this life, I need to work at it now and I am more than determined.

2021 Final Score: C
2022 Expected Score: B+


Creativity:
I need an editor. I have so much written already.
I need to actually POST but I always get weighed down by the prospect of having to edit. If someone can help me, I will really appreciate it.
I have tons of series lined up (are you ready for the rollercoasters?!), I have the novel in motion. I want to learn how to write scripts.

I started a food IG and I now have more than 250 followers. @chefadewus
Please follow and support me if you can. AND my Pinterest page!

My podcast is back and SmallChops is a perfect fit. We need a woman to join us consistently though – preferably someone in Canada or the US. Hit me up if you know someone or you are interested.

I also need to restart my French classes + piano.

2021 Final Score: C-minus
2022 Expected Score: A


Finances:
I changed jobs in the summer of 2021. One of the biggest companies in the world came after me, aggressively. It was so humbling and validating.
Better pay, better company, sign-on bonus, better everything sha. By the end of 2021, I had hit all of my savings goals for the year – I ended up Detty Decembering some of that money away but that is not the point.
Last year, I proved to myself that I could save and I am already on my way again this year.
So I am very excited. I have big BIG goals in 2022 and 23. So man must save – I am even on a budget right now. And if you know me, you know I stick to my budget!
2022 is the year of big bags and sometimes that just means closing the big bag already in your hand.

2021 Final Score: B+
2022 Expected Score: A+


Relationships:
This is where the most learnings are for me.
Romantically, I am satisfied and happy.
Butterflies. Boarding passes. Boba Tea.

In friendships though, it has been a rough year.
March 2021 brought a friendship breakup of a friendship that was 12+years old.
When I still think about it, it stings deeply but it is what it is.
I was already nursing a difficult week and then I walked into church and this was the Pastor’s sermon (when I told you God was talking to me, I was not joking)

This past Sunday’s sermon highlighted a few different things – I actually took notes.
Watch me sing and listen to the full sermon here

Friendship is a choice
Choose friends that fill you up.
Friendship is loving
Friendship is trusting
Friendship is loyalty

This past week for me was another reminder to remember the difference between acquaintances and friends.
It sucks to think through that feeling but it is necessary.
One of the things I struggled with growing up and being bullied was that I wanted to be loved by everyone*
As I get older and wiser, I continue to realize that wanting that is toxic and actually having that is fake.
To make some relationships work, you find yourself pushing and doing more than you ever would need to. And then you find yourself empty and resentful.
Unnecessary.

I took stock recently and I should be proud. I have friends like Seyi that I have had since 2003 and people like Anthony that I have been brothers with since 2006 – 16years.
We started what is now our crew called Nifty Nine. 3 out of the band is married with kids, people are in committed relationships thriving.
I have my PDG crew expecting our next baby, two weddings are upcoming.
And I have the Ninz’s of my world, the Nnenna’s, the Renny’s, the true Brethren, and more.
I have never been one to say “No New Friends” but Omo, my squad is already deep.
So I was grateful for the reset because it allowed me to look around and appreciate what I have that is solid and these people ACTUALLY love me.
They show up for me.
They care about my person and my growth. My soul and my heart.
So while these recent times have been hard, I am thankful for my true friends.

No one gets you like your own tribe.

I am also freshly inspired to be a better friend to the ones I hold dear.
Excited for all our growth, love, accountability and friendship.

2021 Final Score – F
2022 Expected Score – B

2021 was rough in many ways – a medical diagnosis that I reject in Jesus’ name, pandemic, soaring prices of everything.
But it was also a year of newness, growth and love. I am super excited for 2022.
It already started off so great – engagements, birthdays, babies, new jobs, leaving toxic things and people. It will only get better and I am sooooo excited for it.
Thank you for reading my review and catch me in early 2023 by God’s grace for a recap on this year. In the meantime, check out my current content (below if you are on your phone and on the right side of the screen if you are on your computer).


Til next time,

Stay Up!

Thanks for reading as always!
Thank you for commenting. Here is to a fun and blessed 2022!
You are highly appreciated.

One thought on “Still Alive 🌹

  1. Proud of you bestie. You always strive to do better and these checkins are one way you keep accountability. I am proud of your growth. We are all here cheering you on. We dey your back, always. Looking forward to all the things you will achieve this year.

    P.s you shouldn’t let the disappointments bring your relationship score so low. Appreciate the butterflies and your main tribe.

    Like

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