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Black.Gay.Waiting

#BGW

Music: Unknown (To You) by Jacob Banks

“I don’t know if I am allowed to say this but I love your smile.
Ethnic people are just so beautiful”

I tried to force a smile back as I looked down to this old white lady that thought she had just paid me a compliment.

“Thanks”

I muttered back with my “professional” smile plaster across my coconut oiled face.

“You know, I have friends from Africa.
What part of Africa are you from?”

I was shocked that she had even continued to talk to me.
They called out my name from behind the register.

“Tall chai latte for Dee”

I excused myself from the conversation with the lady and I walked to the counter, grabbed my drink and without saying a word to her, I walked out of the Starbucks.

That night as I took a shower, my mind flashed back that interaction that morning.
I suddenly became annoyed.
That was normal, people saying inappropriate and culturally insensitive things.
That was my entire time living in Boston.

There were two schools of people – the ignorant but sometimes well meaning group and the downright racist/white supremist quarter.
Overall, I hated Boston but I understood why my Nigerian parents sent me there for school.
My father went to Law School. His brother and family that I would spend most holidays with, currently live in Boston.
My mother taught for years in central Baltimore. The only things she loved more than those white kids she taught were my siblings and I, my dad and her commute to work.
You never messed with my mothers radio or her Ebenezer Obey cds in the car.

After graduation, I moved to New York for a few years, working out of a mid level law firm.
Yes, I took after my dad.
And as some of you may be able to relate, I had no choice.

I didn’t like practicing law but I didn’t hate it either. I passed the bar on my second go and I was making good money.
The people I worked with were decent and they made the days go by.
But I knew I was only buying time.

….

“It’s 300k.”

My friend Duke tried to tell me.

“Huh?”

I replied as I didn’t hear him clearly.

“The total is 300k”

He repeated.

“Did you factor in a tip?”

I asked.

He nodded.
I pulled out my card and handed it to him.

“Put it on here”

I said to him as he took it from me and turned.
It was my birthday dinner and everyone was eating and having a good time.
I hate birthday dinners.
On one end, you can plan and people will flake or you can’t accurately split the bill.
Everyone knows that people always forget their drinks and tip.
So I had deduced that whenever I had one, I would either be blessed to have a sugar daddy that would handle the bill or I was going to do it myself.

It was the latter.
We did pictures shortly after.
I had picked up my friends Sandra and Bisoye from Ikoyi on my way to the dinner, so I had to drop them off before heading to my parents in Surulere.

My mother was the type that wanted to make sure that I attended services whenever I was in town.
She used to say “you need know God before you need God” or the line I loved so much, “how do you expect to hold your home together if you don’t have a vibrant prayer life?”
Yes, my mother was the typical Pentecostal bible believing mother.
My father wasn’t always there for direct interaction. Leading growing church and law firm can be challenging sometimes.
But fear not, he was just as influential as my mother.
Overbearing, loving, kind, annoying and everything in between.
Those were my parents and I loved them so much.

And that was how much I loved and appreciated everyone that came out to celebrate with me.
After the last set of pictures, I said out loud

“Thank you all for coming. I truly appreciate it. You guys are awesome.”

Hugs and pecks as I headed towards the car.
Sandra is obsessed with 2Face Idibia’s latest track, Gaga Shuffle and it didn’t help that she worked at one of the top radio stations.
She would never stop going on about it!
So we knew as we entered the car that she was going to start playing the song.

Together we belted out the first line “As I want craze, I want involve you for my f-ing craze”
Such a tune!
Sandra’s calling was to be in music. No doubt.
I love sharing songs with her, she knows almost every song!
If it’s on the radio or has the potential to get there, Sandra knows it.

I looked into the rear view mirror and Bisoye has fallen asleep.
It was like a curse. Once Bisoye enters a car and she is not the one driving, sleep is what happens next – always!
Sandra and I teased as Bisoye mumbled some words out of her sleep.
It is exactly as you imagine it, the cutest thing ever but also the most consistent thing whenever we all got into the car together.
About twenty minutes later, I was peeling out of their apartment complex. Sleep was creeping up on me as I got back on the Third Mainland Bridge.
I had probably gone about 5 miles when I heard a loud thud. I went another mile as I tried to guess what had happened.
At first thought, I figured I must have run over something or hit something but as I drove on, I felt my car begin to wobble.

Everyone knows that late at night in Lagos is not the time for your car to be having issues. So as I pulled over, I was very frustrated.
On one hand, this was probably money I didn’t need to spending that would be going to that repair and on the other hand, I just wanted to sleep!
Upon closer inspection as I stepped out of the car, I noticed that one of my tires had blown out.
This was going to be a short while but I knew how to change a tire from watching my father do it.
I locked the car and walked to the trunk as I opened it, I noticed that the jack that was needed to change the tire was missing.
I could scream!
I knew someone in my house must have gone in there and failed to return it, now here I was stuck on this dangerous bridge in the crack of the night.

I walked to the passengers side and unlocked the car.
Immediately, I called the person I knew would answer.

“Deacon, I need your help”

….

He showed up about 30 minutes later and very soon the tire was changed.
As I was about to get into the car, he said

“You can come to my place since I know your estate will be closed by now”

I paused and thought about it, he was right. The security team at my apartment was notorious for stressing my life out whenever I returned late.

“Okay, lets go”

He handed me an oversized shirt at his apartment while I connected to the wifi.

“you can take the bed, while I sleep on the couch”

I shook my head and replied,

“You don’t have to do that”

He quickly replied

“I just know what you said the last time and I was trying to honor that”

I nodded and said

“I remember what I said but as long as you respect yourself, we should be good”

He said

“Okay”

I headed into the bathroom to wash my face and then into the bed. He was still in the living room when I got in.
At this time, it was 3am and I was super tired.
I knocked out pretty quickly after.

I must have been asleep for about an hour when I felt a strong arm come around my midsection. He pulled me close.
His arm was strong, warm and I remember how safe I used to feel in his hold.
A part of me wanted to break away because I had warned him, but I also really liked his touch.
I stayed put and awake.
A few minutes later, I could feel his rising member between my cheeks.
I was getting turned on, even though I knew I wanted to fight it.
A few moments later, he turned me around and passionately kissed me.
I could taste the cheesecake I brought over with me on his lips.
His tongue was strong like his hands. It searched me and I got weak.

He was on his side with his right arm across my midriff.
He tasted so good and I just sunk into his arms. It was like his mattress was suddenly softer than a cloud and I was free falling.
It had been a while, a long while since someone took charge of my physical and made me lose myself.

He began to kiss my neck and I was losing it.
I was really excited now. His tongue licked behind my left ear.
It ticked and pushed me further off the ledge.
I wanted more, so I don’t know where the words “we have to stop” came from.
He pulled back and towering over me, he said

“You don’t want to?”

I closed my eyes and said

“I just don’t know… I’m just worried we will get into this space again… you know”

He pulled further back and said

“I understand. I’m sorry”

I quickly replied and said

“Don’t apologize. Its not just you. It has to be both of us”

He didn’t say anything else.
He laid on his back staring at the spinning ceiling fan with the light from the DVR partially illuminating the room.
I turned over on my left side and stared out of the window.
I won’t lie to you, I so badly wanted him to grab me again. I know what I said but I wanted the opposite at that moment.

I thought he had fallen asleep when I said

“Micah”

He didn’t even say anything, I heard a grunt.
And I turned and planted a wet one on his lips.
He ran his hand under his t-shirt I was wearing. That was it!
Our lips locked and it felt so good.
So good, I was annoyed when he turned me over and spooned me.
Until he spread my cheeks and slid into me.
He belly was cold but he breath was warm and his throbbing member was anything but.
With each thrust, he spread me wider and I grabbed a handful of the sheets in my right hand.
My moans were subdued. It was very late and his window was open.
But I wanted to scream.
It had been so long and naturally it hurt a little. And I loved it.
I could feel him pulse and I moved my hips to match his stride.
It was satisfying as he filled me up.
He pumped and grunted before panting for air.
I turned over and snuggled into his chest. I could hear his heart beating.
He wrapped his arm around me and it was only moments before he knocked out.
I placed my leg over his and that is the last I remember of the night.

…..

Thud…Thud…Thud.
I ignored it.
Thud…Thud… Thudddddd.
I thought I was dreaming but I slowly started to come into my consciousness.
Then I realized the noise was actually outside.
I sprung up, only to see Micah getting up as well. I said

“What is going on?”

He motioned with his left hand and said

“Hold on.
I’ll go check”

He grabbed his robe hanging off the inside of the open closet door and put it on.
Out the room he marched, leaving it slightly ajar.
I heard him put on his slippers and head towards the door.
I hated how he dragged his feet. It was always a pet peeve of mine.
Still surprised me how I developed feelings for a man that did something I hated so much.

I heard the front door open.
I actually thought it was someone that he owed money or maybe his car was blocking someone from leaving out the parking lot.
As the door opened I heard someone say very loudly

“Where is he?! Where is he?!
I know you have my son in here”

I recognized that voice – it was my father.
It took a second for what was happening to register, so there was a delay in my head.
Before I could jump up and put my clothes on, my father barged into the room
There was midway hunched over trying to grab my boxers. Butt ass naked.
I turned and looked straight and my father.
A lagging Micah was behind as he said

“Pastor, I can explain”

All I could say was

“Daddy”

Please leave me a comment or tweet at me here@adewus4real! Feedback is EVERYTHING~Thanks!

The End.

Part Two is already done and ready to drop! @adewus4real

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