The Wordsmith #26

#WhatTheHeckMan 4

Happy Birthday to Me! 😊

103466
The number is irrelevant
Well it’s not
That’s the number of miles on my car
Not reflective of the miles my heart has traveled
The accidents along the way
The flats
The high octane
Nitro powered memories
Taking it all in
I’m trying really hard not to cry
But I feel it’s inevitable
Here they come
First flow
Damn it!
I swore I wouldn’t cry
What The Heck Man

A week from today
I celebrate a new age
A different man
From the one that cried when my innocence was snatched
By blood
So I sit here and recollect my journey
Assessing my victories, defeats, and in-betweens
I lied
To me
And to some people I loved
Or at least it felt like love
But I have pieces of their shattered glass in my hands
So is that love?

I’ve betrayed trust
Lost friends
Felt like I was going insane
But always found a way
To hold my truth
To remind myself that my shortcomings don’t make me
I held love at a distance
But I craved it on the inside
I wanted more from me
But I felt my well dry up
Till I had nothing left to give

I strayed from his grace
As one negative thing after the other
I hid in my space
Unable to seek his face
My heart would convict
But I always listened to my first instinct
Run
But where to
Into the arms of empty people
With beautiful hearts
But unable to provide the love I sought
I continued to run
Gather them round
Enough love will fill you up
Or so I thought

Like a Falcon
I rose from the ashes
Failed relationships
Bad breaks
Medium rare
Skin peeled like steak
I told myself that I could not afford to lose
Not again
So walking shoes
To love that completes
Who wants he reggae without the blues
It’s a pleasure to serve you
Me
To be me
To be unique
And unapologetic

Then I found myself in my peace
Everything I needed was within reach
Deep within me
So I embraced me a bit longer
Some nights my mind will wander
To what could have been
But after all, I have seen
I love me
Oh so very much
Enough to know that this is not my last stop
There is so much more
Destined for me, from God
I used to wish I didn’t feel
That I couldn’t bleed
But that wouldn’t be me

My purpose is to be a vessel
That negotiates greatness and solidifies hope in the hearts of those needing
And I cannot fall short
My experiences are real
Sometimes things have been a thrill
A whirlwind
But just like the 80’s films
I want to stand on a hill
And peer into the hearts of those I gave love
You are unique
Just like me
To truth, to love
I smile from the heart
And I look forward to another year of being a blessing
You can burn a castle down
But it doesn’t limit the impact of royalty
It’s twenty-six
Nothing is an easy fix
There are cracks in my armor
But there is vigor and value
An unction to function
A renewal of my being
A reintroduction of you to me

Today I am thankful for every tear
Every un-replied text
And every forgotten moment
I am grateful for the all time low
But I have risen after breathing underwater
To say thank you
To loves, life, and lessons
It’s another moment of reflection
And looking back
All I can say is #WhatTheHeckMan
To those who stood firm
I bless God for you
Thank you for being here
From the bottom of my heart
My love to you is sincere
Thank you for allowing me to share my truth
In your day of glory
I will be able to celebrate with you
I love me a little bit more
Because of you
So whenever you may need
Remember you mean the world to me
So thank you
Today and everyday
It’s the one and yours,
The Wordsmith.

Get to Know “The Wordsmith”

1. What’s the first thing you notice about people?
   Their scent and how they talk to others.
2. What is your eye color?
   Brown
3. Scary movie or happy endings?
   Happy Endings. I don’t like scary movies because I don’t feel like they are real. Like they won’t happen. Like all the fishes in the water will magically turn evil and eat us all. Who wants to watch that?
4. Favorite smells?
   Tom Ford Noir.
5. What’s the furthest you’ve ever been from home?
   Living in Nigeria when my family relocated from Nigeria in the early 2000’s. I lived with my uncles and aunts in Lagos and some parts of it with my grandfather in Ikenne where my mother is from.
6. Do you have any special talents?
   Define special. I can create content on any topic. Or make you cry with my words. Good enough?
7. Where were you born?
   Sacramento, California.
8. What are your hobbies?
   Writing, creating spoken pieces, poetry, watching anything about nature
9. Do you have any pets?
   Nah but I wish I had a boxer tho! Ugh…. I really want a dog but nahhhh.
10. Do you have any siblings?
    3 beautiful and amazing people.
11. What do you want to be when you grow up?
    I never grow like this? An impactful person that changes lives with every and anything I do.
12. Who was your first best friend?
    Deji Fakoya
13. How tall are you?
    6’1
14. Funniest moment throughout School?
    Highschool NEPA took light, I dashed across the room and kissed the girl I liked on the cheek. She ran up to me, slapped me and told me to never try it again. Funny now but it wasn’t in 2005.
15. How many countries have you visited?
    10+
16. What was your favorite/worst subject in High School?
    Favorite: Literature and English
    Worst: Math
17. What is your Favorite drink? Animal? Perfume?
    Favorite drink has to be water, to be honest.
18. What would you (or have you) name your children?
    Not sure yet but something that glorifies the name of the Lord whenever it is called.
19. What Sports do you play/Have you played?
    Play soccer, but I have been out injured since August, so yeah. Bummer.
20. How many Girlfriends/Boyfriends have you had?
    3. Two are married. Funny how life works out.
21. Favorite memory from childhood?
    Watching Saworoide with my entire family and Grandma. May her soul Rest in Peace.
22. How would you describe your fashion sense?
    I have small money now. Lol.
    Nah but I can truly buy some of the things that I feel like they represent where I am and how I feel inside.
23. Tell us one of your bad habits!
    I beat myself up too much and blame myself for everything.
    24. Are you named after anyone?
    My absolutely amazing father.
    25. When was the last time you cried?

Today.
26. If you were another person, would you be a friend of yourself?
Yes, I would. In my great space, which I am in now, I am a good friend.
27.* What are you most grateful for?
God. I am grateful for God because he is faithful even when I am faithless and unfaithful. I have sinned, fallen short of his glory. Betrayed trust, lost friends, hurt people I love(d), been unaccountable, manipulated things and situations. But God has never forsaken me.
I am grateful for my resiliency. That somehow I find a way to continue to press on.
I am thankful for #TheRants and #WhatTheHeckMan. You guys make being creative so worth it.
Let me tell you all a story, there was a time a few years ago when I felt like I was going to give up. Give up on EVERYTHING.
You know somewhere in my heart, I thought to myself, how would my readers feel. Like what would they read on Saturdays? There are days when I don’t feel good enough at ANYTHING. I feel empty. Your comments and reactions to my work, fills me up.
So if you are a regular commenter, thank you! And if you are not, start today. It truly goes a long way.

I am grateful for those that love me and never give up on me.
I am heavily flawed and sometimes broken but to those that love me unconditionally, I can never thank you enough.
God Bless you, and I pray that I can always give that same love back to you.

I am not perfect. Far from it. I own my flaws and I try to do better daily.
My biggest prayer from God is that everyday in my 26th year, I will be a blessing and my life will be a testimony of God’s greatness.
Happy Birthday to Meeeeeee!

New Series will be out on 2.4.17

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