Particles by Sivu
Is that you?”
I was scared and my voice was shaking. The blood on the phone dripping down the side of my face.
My mind was scaling through a million options and my heart was beating out of my chest.
Then in the calmest voice, my mother said
“Anita, how was your flight to America?”
I was startled. Mind fucked!
“Mom are you okay? Is everything okay?”
She didn’t even pause on the other end as she replied
“Yes but I’m a very upset you didn’t tell me you were leaving. I was worried and then the university you’re going to in Arizona called to let me know you were on your flight.
I hope everything went smoothly..”
I couldn’t believe the words I was hearing.
Here I was over looking two dead bodies having been picked up by random people, and I was speaking to my mother about a university I had never heard of after running away from home without telling her.
What the actual heck man.
“Mom… The university is okay.
They gave me a scholarship, I couldn’t turn down”
I lied as I turned my body around to see if anyone was watching.
This was insane and this was even taking into account what I had been through since I landed.
She prayed for me and asked that I call her frequently. She reminded me that I was all she had and she wanted the best for me.
“Please be safe Anita.
Don’t let any men distract you on your goals. Focus and be safe in America”
If I could laugh, I would have but there was nothing funny.
I looked at my hand covered in blood as I lowered the phone. I stood there and just stared at the bodies.
“What was I supposed do now?”
My mother calling me all the way from Sudan?
I still couldn’t believe it. I felt like I was in a movie where you’re screaming the answers at the character but they still don’t get it.
I was freaking out but something needed to be done. I didn’t know how much time I had in the open before someone would show up.
I walked around the car slowly and surveyed the area. I was standing by the passengers side door in the front when the phone rang again.
I looked down and the number said
I clicked the answer button and placed the phone by my ear as a man said
It was a new voice. Not one of the ones I had heard before.
At this point, any information I was getting was better than nothing.
i nervously dragged out my answer.
The man on the other end said
“How are you?
And how’s your mom? She sounds like a very pleasant lady….”
I interrupted and said
“What is going on?
Why are you talking to my mother?
Why am I here and who are these bodies?
What is going on? Can somebody give me some answers?”
The man chuckled and said
“Wow…. wow….. (laughs)
Slow down there Anita. All your questions will have answers soon enough.
But for now, I need you to walk down the steps to the water side..
There is a black box in the corner to your right.
Place both bodies there and leave them….”
He paused and then said
“The police will come in about 30 minutes. So you don’t have a lot of time”
He was gone.
There was no voice on the other end anymore.
I tried to redial and it wouldn’t let me because the number was unknown.
I cut a frustrated pose and moaned as I made my way back to the rear of the car.
It was still hard to look at those bodies.
Two young people, they couldn’t have been that much older than me. 26 or 27 maybe.
I leaned in and touched the forearm of the female. It was still warm suggesting that they had only recently been murdered.
I pulled her out of the trunk, sweating as I dragged her down the stairs towards the box the man had mentioned.
It was a big box but it seemed like they knew both bodies would fit.
Carrying the body of the man was harder.
He was a bit bigger, more muscle I figured.
I lowered him in the box and I started crying. What had I gotten myself into?
All I wanted to do was leave Sudan and find a better life out in America. Here I was stashing bodies of people I had never met and talking to my mother who I had run from.
It was all so confusing and overwhelming to me.
The tears started to stream down my cheeks.
I couldn’t wipe them off as my hands were covered in blood.
I slumped on top of the box and seriously became consumed by my feeling.
The sense of powerlessness I had both times I was raped, washed over me.
I wanted more.
I didn’t want this. I didn’t know this.
I had no control over this.
I cried for a few minutes and then I woke up.
Cleaned my face with my elbows, alternating the sides.
I climbed up the steps and back to the car.
Here I was in the middle of nowhere, with a box filled with bodies and I knew no one.
I thought about calling 911 for a brief moment and then I thought, how would I explain myself?
I closed the trunk and turned around.
Behind me, a police car was pulling up with it’s lights flashing.
The car stopped and both officers jumped out with their guns drawn and I heard shouts of
“Hands where I can see them!! Put those hands up!”
I froze and lifted my hands up.
The fear of getting shot almost paralyzed my senses and I just stood there with my hands to the sky.
“On your knees! With your hands on your head!”
The officer on the driver side, yelled at me.
I slowly dropped to my knees and placed my hands on head.
I will not lie, I was shivering down to my panties.
Something in me wanted to run. Like I knew I couldn’t outrun the police but I would just run into oblivion.
But they approached me and a few seconds later, I was in handcuffs.
They didn’t read my rights, nor did they ask me any questions.
I was led into the back of the squad car and both officers stood outside.
Minutes later a black car with tinted windows showed up. The TSA agent from hours before was now dressed in a suit.
Another man was driving.
They both came out of the car and shook the officers hands.
I turned my body from my seating position to get a better look.
Then something crazy happened, both men in the suits that just arrived, walked down to the waterside and grabbed the box.
The brought it back to the car that just arrived and placed it in there.
The TSA agent guy, hopped into the car where the bodies initially were and drove off.
The second car followed closely.
The officers returned to the car and got in.
I immediately launched into them and said
“Whats going on?!
You know those men, killed those people right?
They brought me here!”
I was about to start crying again.
That threshold you hit where your frustrations are uncontainable and you have no option but to cry.
The officer in the passenger seat laughed and said
I stopped as they both looked at each other and smiled.
The officer driving, looked in his rearview mirror and made eye contact with as he said something that would not only stick with me but would later give me a sense of what was really going on. He said
“Just do your part and don’t worry about the rest”
About twenty minutes later, we arrived at an apartment complex. The officers took me through the back and parked.
They both got out and removed the handcuffs.
The driver opened the trunk and pulled out an envelope.
It was one of those big brown ones.
He handed it to me and said
They turned around, entered the car and drove off.
I opened the envelope and it had a set of keys, my documents and some money in cash.
I looked around to see if I was dreaming.
Up the stairs I went and I stopped in front of apartment 648.
I opened the door and what I saw shook me to my core.
There were pictures of me all over the world on the walls, there was mail addressed to me on the kitchen counter, the whole place was furnished!
It looked like I had been living there for years.
I walked into the bathroom and stood in front of the mirror.
Staring at myself, I whispered “What The Heck Man”.
I wasn’t confused anymore.
I was just lost.
At that very moment, I didn’t know who I was anymore.
That time of the year is coming up again. For the “Behind The Writer” edition of 2016, I will soon start gathering questions that you want to answer.
If there is anything you want to know about The Wordsmith, I’ll answer in my piece while sharing things about myself that you may not already know.
Thank you ALL for your continued SUPPORT.
I am always humbled by the positive comments/criticism. Remember I started writing so girls could like me, today, I like who I am and who my art has allowed me to connect with.
Bigger stories, New Perspective and endless moments of screaming #WhatTheHeckMan.
“Anita… Anita…. Anita!”
I looked around and noticed the whole classroom staring at me.
“Were you day dreaming again?”
My group member Neida asked me with quizzed look on her face.
I quickly got up, pulled my skirt down and rushed to the front of the class.
About twenty minutes later, our presentation in my Public Policy Management class was over.
It was the final one of the semester and our signaled the end of that class.
I was making my way to my car and my mind went back to the class.
Very frequently, I would get lost in thought about all that happened since I moved to the United States.
It had been six months since I last heard from the airport agent, the driver or the man on the phone.
I was living in my place, and had begun my journey towards completing school and just trying to forget all of that
My bills were always paid on time and I just went about my life like I had a guardian angel watching over me.
I walked into the Panda Express and waited in line as I scrolled through my Twitter page.
When it was my turn, I ordered half and half with kung pao chicken and some orange chicken.
I walked out the door and into my car. I pulled into my parking spot a few minutes later.
I fiddled with my keys and I opened my door, I almost dropped my entire plate of food as I noticed the TSA agent man from months before, sitting on my couch.
I was still clearly shaken up when he rose from his seat and stretched out his hand as he said
“Hello, my name is Hazim.”
Shivering, I shook his hand.
He smiles and said
“How have you been?
Well I hope… Sorry I scared you but I need you to come with me”
Eat? Was he crazy?
I placed the food on the table and we headed out the door.
He drove and said nothing.
It was bright and sunny outside as we pulled into the back of a popular strip club “Sinnamon”
We walked through the door and there was a man sitting by himself in a booth.
I walked behind Hazim to the man.
The ran stood up and stretched out his hand and said
“Anita, nice to finally meet you”
My eyes grew big!
I knew that voice! It was the man that called me that first day after I spoke with my mother.
He smiled and sat down
I sat down across from him and Hazim stood a few feet away from both of us
“I know you have a lot of questions but the answers will come if you are patient and you stick to the program”
He slid over another envelope and said
“There is a gun in there. There is a car parked outside, go the car and head to the address you find in the car.”
I looked at him and said
I’m not doing anything!
I am not going anywhere! You have had me running and watching my back for months with no answers!
I need fucking answers!”
He smiled and said
“Anita, just do as we ask.
You are only a small part of the picture. Just let things move smoothly”
I was getting more confident as I raised my voice
Ever since I have been here, nobody has told me anything.
How I got the apartment, the school, who you are!.
he motioned to me with his hands to keep my voice down
“Okay what would you like to know?”
“First, why me?
What am I doing here?”
He leaned across the table and quietly said
“You came to us. Don’t you remember?
You picked us, not the other way around”
I was so confused.
What did he mean by I came to them?
I had never met that man before.
This was all just one big scary puzzle.
Hazim led me out through the front and there was a car running
I walked to the car, it had the Uber sticker on the dashboard.
There was an iPhone sitting on the pod, it beeped with a customer requesting a ride.
I accepted it.
About 6 minutes later, I arrived and a man walked out of the house and into my car.
He opened the back door and entered the car.
I turned to say hi and the sight I saw was one that evoke pain.
He said my name first
And then he smiled
I turned back forward and noticed the envelope I had placed on the passengers seat.
I reached for it and slid my hand into it.
I turned around one more time to make sure it was really who I thought it was.
“Anita, how many years has it been?
How did you get to America?!”
I didn’t need to reply. I didn’t owe him a reply.
But he owed me his life.
I pulled the trigger.
I shot him.
Part 3 will definitely be OUT ON OR BEFORE Saturday! I PROMISE!!!!! 😘
Thank you for reading and commenting. You are highly appreciated.
Part 3 ON OR BEFORE this Saturday
© 2015 #WhatTheHeckMan