SmokeScreen

Smokescreen

The Nile ft. Rae Morris by SIVU

Alone.

I could taste the dirt on my lips. 

Particles of sand made their way onto my tongue.

The soil a few feet away from me was soaked in blood

My eyes watered as I strained them.

Sweat covered my burning face as the sun kissed me longer than I asked it to.

My arms hurt.

Throbbing as I continued to dig. 

I had been there for hours. The sun was asleep when I arrived.

And now it had invited the world as an audience as I slave away.

Blisters on my palms beneath my gloves as I moved the shovel in and out.

My shoulders felt heavy. 

Like the weight of the world sat on them.

But the night before, there had been bodies on them.

Two bodies. 

One box. 

Me.

How did I get here you asked?

There are choices an individual makes that alter ones life for ever. Some are made for you without your input and you still have to live with them.

There is a lot you would find out as I recount some of the events that have led up to me being here. 

In most cases like these, the order of the questions are simple. 

First the “When?” and then “How and Why?”

The “when” and “how” questions are easy to answer. But the “why” question, well, you’ll have to come along and pay close attention to see if you can solve this.

Cause Heaven knows I need answers too.

 …..

When I boarded the flight out of Sudan, I knew very little about what the future held.

The only thing I knew with a fair bit of certainty was that my journey was going to be about 35 hours in total to get into Arizona.

Long, I know but that long flight meant the hope of a new life.

It meant safety.

I took my seat, 21B, I still remember clearly and I scanned my surroundings.

My eyes met that of another passenger. He flashed a smile at me and I forced one back.

I bent down and stowed my handbag under the seat in front of me.

Another scan of the other passengers as my head rose, I leaned back and began to whisper a prayer.

When I opened my eyes, I noticed a man standing in the aisle and he smiled as he pointed to the empty seats to my left.

“Oh, I’m sorry”

I said as I got out of my seat so he could get into his seat.

He was a white man.

He sat in the window seat and I remember praying he was the last one coming in because I didn’t want to get up again.

I rubbed my hands together and then ran them over my thighs. The man next to me smiled and said

“First time flying?”

I smiled and shyly nodded.

He smiled even bigger and said

“Don’t worry.It will go smoothly.

Just relax and get some sleep, it’s a long ride. 

Where are you headed?”

I looked down wishing this conversation wasn’t happening. I replied with a smile 

“Arizona”

“Oh, thats way out there!”

He exclaimed.

How did I know different? 

I didn’t know which was in there or out there. all I knew was that I wanted to touch American soil.

I could not wait for that plane to take off. There was so much that I wanted to leave behind.

I held my breath as the plane made its way down the runway. 

Clutching the seat panel, the plane ascended and I prayed one last prayer.

“God do not bring me back here. Ever”

Now, I know some of you would be wondering why I would say that about my country and for that reason, I am glad you’re here. 

We have a lot to cover.

At 24, Sudan had only managed to take from me without giving me much in return.

My father was died in the heat of the war.

I was raped twice by the time I was 12 and 5 months before leaving the country, my mother had agreed a deal with my uncle to marry a “friend” of the family and move to Ghana.

I was not going to wait and be “sold” into a life where I would have no control.

One thing I learned after the second time I was raped, this time by my older cousin, was that you can never assume that people would do good to you.

And if you waited, you will be stuck in a reactive state of whatever the situation brings.

So I decided to always be proactive and go after what I wanted. 

The night my mother told me that I was basically being married off to a man, I called my friend who knew some experts in forgery. 

My school fees were redirected to them without the knowledge of my mother and a few weeks later, I received all my necessary documents to relocate to the United States of America. .

The land of opportunity.

…..

I knew no one in the United States but a guy that had added me on Facebook a few years back. 

That handbag under the seat was all I had to my name on that flight.

It contained two other blouses, a pair of jeans, 6 panties, my school documents and (MONEY).

I was walking away from safety; from home.

But I had to run. 

Fast.

Or that place or its people were going to consume me.

I knew my mother would be livid that I left without her blessing but she could be in trouble with the family council as I had been promised off.

I wasn’t sure if “payment” had been given my mother yet but waiting to find out was never going to happen.

I fell asleep about an hour into that first flight. My mind travelled miles ahead of me as I dreamt. 

The turbulence shook the plane as she neared our destination. Landings are funny but scary to me.

You know you’re coming down to the place you want to be but there is some anxiety around what waits on the ground. 

Somehow, I just wanted to get outside the airport. To smell the American air in the land of freedom.

I waited as people got of the plane after we landed. The pilot welcomed us to the 

“United States of America”

Oh the melody those words brought to my ears. I didn’t rush of the plane.

I couldn’t anyway because I was at the back of the plane. 

The air hostess smiled at me as my row cleared out. They thanked me for flying with them as I stepped out of the plane. 

As I walked off, I reached the customs line for visitors to the United States. I suddenly became really nervous but I wasn’t sure.

I couldn’t get deported.

But I had faith that my documents had got me this far, so I should be fine.

A few people ahead of me and I was next in line. The customs agent looked up and smiled

I swallowed hard

He motioned at me and I approached

“Evening Miss Anita, what brings you to the US today?”

I thought answering quickly and confidently would get me through

I said

“I’m here to visit some family”

with a smile

He looked at me and said

“You need to enter their address Miss”

I swallowed hard again.

Address?

I didn’t have an address. I didn’t even know where I was going from the airport.

I literally knew no one out there.

He caught it and said

“You don’t have it do you?”

I smiled and shook my head.

He smiled again and said

“It happens all the time. Try to get it next time. 

Enjoy your stay”

He said as he stared at my breasts bulging out of my T-shirt.

I smiled and quickly walked away.

I was in!

There was something in me that wanted to run towards the door but I tried to play it cool.

My heart was jumping for joy.

I made it out.

There was a reassurance of my strong will, God helped me out but I got out.

I was about to walk out of the airport when I heard my name

My heart literally dropped. 

Nobody knew me here. How could anyone be calling my name?

I slowly turned around and it was the customs agent with a police officer behind him.

Fuck!

“Miss, could you come with us please?”

I couldn’t believe it. I was almost out.

I clutched my purse and walked slowly with them.

They took me into a room, and they just left me there.

Nobody came to speak to me.

Nobody said anything to me. Not a single soul came into the room for almost an hour.

I was sure that I was done.

At one point, I thought they were already looking for a flight to send me back to Sudan. 

I was waiting and praying.

Suddenly the door swung open and the same agent walked in again, this time alone.

He didn’t say anything.

He just held the door open. I sat there and tried to figure out what was going on.

I slowly got up and motioned towards the door.

He said nothing and so I walked out.

I headed out of the door and he walked closely behind me. 

Through the airport doors and I was outside. The whole time he walked behind me I never turned around.

When we got outside, there was a car waiting. I stopped outside not knowing it was there for me.

The agent walked to the car and opened the right rear door and motioned with his hand for me to get in.

I lowered myself into the car.

There was a driver in the passenger seat and he was silent.

He began to drive and said nothing.

About 30minutes later, the car stopped.

He got out of the car and asked me to step out.

I stepped out and we both walked to the back of the car. He opened the trunk and there were two dead bodies there.

I screamed and covered my mouth!

He said

“Take care of it”

I was in shock. 

I stared at the bodies and froze. Another car pulled up and the driver got into it and left.

There I was. By the water side with a trunk filled with two dead bodies of people I did not know.

My mind completely slowed down.

I just couldn’t believe what I was staring at.

What The Heck Man!

Nothing made sense. The airport didn’t make sense. 

This didn’t make sense.

I just needed answers. I placed my bag which I was still clutching on the ground. 

And then I heard a phone ringing.

I looked around trying to figure out where the sound was coming from. 

The ringing continued and then I figured it was coming from the trunk.

I paused but the ringing continued

I reached my hand between the bodies and pulled out the bloody phone.

My hands were covered in blood

I tapped the “Answer” button and I placed the phone to my ear.

I swallowed as my throat had dried up and said

“Hello”

The voice on the other end was familiar.

It was my mother and she said

“Hello Anita”

I couldn’t believe it.

What The Heck Man. I tried to figure it out but I realized that I had to comment and come back for Part 2 on Saturday.

The End

Big big birthday shout out to the love of my life. My mother turns 50 today! 
I am so blessed to have her.
She is EVERYTHING and so much more! Happy birthday to Mummy #WhatTheHeckMan 😂😂

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