Real Talk (The New Way of Attractions)
Say Something Cover by Jacob Banks
Why am I up?
I should be asleep but let me share the truth
The truth for me is you
Socks on my feet
Curled under my sheets
My face is beat
I shouldn’t have makeup on right now
It should be my head wrap securing my crown
Carrying me into dream land
But hearing your voice is all I need
With you I want to share my thoughts
It’s late and I have to be up at the crack of dawn
But let’s just sit here and talk
It’s been eight months
Yet all we do is talk
Now you no longer want to hear my thoughts
Everything I say sounds like I nag
Having you in my life was once a reason to brag
But now I carry my aching heart in my handbag
I’m struggling to not drown in my feelings
But you won’t answer my calls
And if you do
You always promise to call back
But you never call
And all I really want to do is talk
Suddenly there are other people
Those long five conversations till four have stopped
Now three of us make up this triangle
Me, you and this growing space
I miss when it was just us two
But now you’re not available to return the attention or concern
It’s now too much to expect one call from you
It’s 4am and I’m retweeting the new girl you’re talking to
And I haven’t heard from you
I’m scrolling down your timeline
This is the only way I connect to you
Oh you have a doctors appointment
I didn’t even know you hated hospitals
I’m careful not to double tap as I make my way
Down your Instagram page
I am 64 weeks down the way
I loved it when you had your hair in those box braids
But I keep waiting for you
I still keep the faith
But i admit I’m getting tired and I might not be able to wait
Like Nitro gas
We burn out fast
Spilling out our lives
Into each other’s palms
Building dreams in clouds so high
But our eagle is ground when the clouds cry
Drenched in emptiness and regret
But remembering you’re the best I’ve had yet
I want more
Like I had wanted you
Now I communicate my feelings through retweets and emojis blue
Hoping that my borrowed words reach
Hoping they catch you
I’m here hurting as you announce your new conquest
And I’m hoping you say something
But you’re saying I’ve given up on you
And I’m talking to you again
Through an unresponsive screen
Realizing that all we had were muddled dreams
That dreaded “talking phase”. Oh that phase.
Think, how many people are you “talking” to right now? Why is it so convenient for the guy you want to hide behind being in a talking state?
There are many great men and women today scared of commitment and void of effort that they just sit in the talking phase.
But the talking phase provides no security, today you’re the only one he’s talking to, tomorrow, you’re not the guy she calls first in the morning anymore.
When will we want more? Ask for more.
And ultimately be more.
I am never here to scapegoat anyone and I am not perfect (this is a lesson for me too).
But we need to grow as a people.
For a generation so adept at knowing emotions, we are very emotionally behind.
Our emotional vocabulary is shot. Minimal if any.
Men cannot communicate needs and women cannot fully grasp the understanding of self.
People talk more than they get into relationships. This is our new wave of attraction. Our new ways of sharing self.
We talk and talk but our hearts are not listening. All we do is talk; no action.