Fallen Heights 2

Fallen Heights 2

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 ⟹ ⟹ ⟹ PRESS PLAY HERE BEFORE READING

Alright by Jordan Rakei

 

9:21am

My alarm was just on another round of tormenting me when I slowly turned over and looked at it. I almost wanted to throw it across the side of the room. I slid my finger across the screen and the sound stopped. I lay there on my back looking up to the ceiling.

I could feel myself tired like I was examining my body from the outside.
I just didn’t want to get up.

I could feel the minutes pass me by as I continued to stare into open space and then I suddenly got wind within me and I turned over. I sat up and reached for my phone.

I browsed my Snapchat, Twitter and a couple of email updates; the usual as I caught up with the world. Many of you can totally relate to that.

 

I placed my phone next to me and reached for my Macbook sitting to my right side. I picked it up and opened it, the bright screen flooding my eyes as they adjusted to the sudden change in the setting.

The login was quick and I was soon editing a paper that was due at noon but I was scheduled to be in class at that time. I had procrastinated badly and here I was a few hours to the deadline just trying to complete it. I began typing away as I occasionally stopped to edit a thing or two. There was something about waiting till the last minute to do work that usually got me going. It seemed like I was smarter then and suddenly more efficient.

I had tried various ways to stop procrastinating and I’ve still been searching for the medication or healing to cure the disease. Unfortunately, nothing had been successful so far.

About twenty minutes later I was wrapping up the paper and uploading it to the online platform for the class. I sat up right on the side of the bed and looked at my clothes in the closet. I stood up and then headed out my room and down the stairs.

The halls were quiet as majority of the other people in the home were off to handle their various responsibilities. I arrived at the kitchen, my favorite place in the house and pulled open the refrigerator. I bent down to get a closer look. It wasn’t there.

I bent down and looked closer.

It really wasn’t there.

I hissed as I slammed the door shut. I hated that.

I hated when people just couldn’t bring themselves to respect the items and space of others. The leftover bowl of curry chicken and stir fry I had placed in there was gone. One of my foster brothers or sisters must have taken it. I had even marked the container with my name warning people not to touch it. Such uselessness I thought to myself. I considered looking for something else to eat but then I glanced up at the wall clock and realized I was now running late.

9:52am.

I had class at 10:15am.

Come on Jade!

.       .         .         .       .

 

10:15am – 11:30am

Waste of my time in life.

I just fought through the Business Planning and Analysis class.

I fought hard.

To give a crap about everything he was saying and to stay awake. There was something about certain older professors. They loved to talk!

This particular one just could not hold himself. He seemed to me like one of those close to retirement whose wives didn’t listen to him anymore at home. So he would come to class and just continue to go off the topic of lecture and just yap away.

I actually felt sorry for him but not on days like today. I was tired but this was my final year. Every class was important.

I sipped from my cup of coffee that I had picked up on my way to class.

They had messed up my order. It was meant to have no sugar in it. Straight black but upon arriving to pick it up, it had sugar and even milk. I was running late and I needed something to keep me up, so I managed it but I was quite pissed off.

I was just about to turn my phone over when everyone started getting up at the same time. Class was over.

I picked up my phone and grabbed my bag as I began to head out the door. There was an alert from my bank that came in as a message from Zoey arrived in my phone. I opened it up and it read. I was so tired I even had a typo in our conversation that just made me giggle

The science building was the newest building on campus. They had increased our tuition twice over the course of the last three years to accommodate the financial demands around the completion of the building.

It was a state of the art building decked out with solar panels and 3D screens for more advance technological needs in the classroom. It also simply had a sense of “newness” to it.
I felt somewhat slighted when I saw the schedule for the new semester which was my last and I noticed that none of my classes were scheduled to be in that building.

Oh well.

I was going to have to get my use of the building some other way.

The top floor of the building was expected to house the new science department and their offices, but there was some carpeting being done so nobody was actually visiting the floor. Trust Zoey to have figured that out. I wasn’t sure if it was the freak in her that caused her to locate the spot or the fact that she was on the school’s diversity group. Somehow, she had arrived at the fact that the place was open and available for use. The floor was quiet and empty that day and as reluctant as I was to go there, we had limited options.

We had been caught in the library once by a student who was gracious in keeping his mouth shut or maybe it was just the girl on girl action that left him speechless.

I walked into the restroom. I called out her name and I followed her response into the stall at the back.

No words were exchanged as she smiled and stared at me. There was a way her blues eyes invited mine. It was like I was floating on the open sea leaving behind the white sands of a Caribbean Island. Her lips were pink and full. Blooded with passion and warmth; so colorful her face reminded me of my Art history class as we discovered Ancient art and the wonders of color and finesse. I was left amazed as her lips touched my delicate skin and didn’t leave markings of their color. She was gentle.
Her brass seemed to only lay in her freakiness but her skill in making my body feel like her canvass as her tongue acted as a brush. She was an artist. I was the art.
And that was how she made me feel when she looked at me and when she touched me.
The heat in her breath blazing through her nostrils. Her breathing was short as she licked and continued to breathe through her open mouth.
They had installed a baby changing station in the bathroom and that was where I sat. She sat on the toilet seat with my pink staring her right in the face.
I was wet.
Really wet.
She seemed to effortlessly get me to the edge of my sexual bridge and then her works would push me over. She would obviously then dive in after me and drown herself in my wetness.
I cupped my breasts in my left hand as I held onto her head. She continued to smile as she feasted on my wet.
The way she ate me was like she was enjoying pomegranate seeds; bursting juices into her mouth with each lick. I couldn’t contain myself.
My moans were loud. Her breath heated up my lips.
Her lips caressed mine with such love. I was lost in her getting lost inside me. She pulled her fingers to the party and spread me open. There was a way she slid her fingers in; her index and middle fingers. Her thumb provided the outer support as it flickered over my throbbing clit.
I was close to yelling. The pleasure was too much. I was tired in my classes earlier but she was definitely waking me up. Waking up all the senses within me.
I couldn’t understand how she did it each time. My mind raced as I tried to catch my breath as her fingers spread into the depths of me.
Then she stopped.
She looked up to me and said,

“You’re going to spray all of your juices all over my fucking face”

I nodded sheepishly as she slid her fingers back inside of me. I swear I felt my spirit leave my body.
In that particular moment, I was hers. She was pumping and twisting her fingers inside me as my eyes rolled back. I didn’t even know it was coming, I just felt my hips buckle and lock. I was grabbing onto the rail as I was yelling out cuss words and spraying all over her face.
She didn’t move. It all just flooded her face and her hair.
Then she stood and walked to the front of the restroom and flicked on the light switch. She came back into the stall and had a smirk on her face while my legs continued to shake. I couldn’t understand my body but it all felt so good.
She came towards me and kissed me on my forehead and said,

“You better get dressed. You’re going to be late for class”

All I could think was,

“This bitch! You know I can’t walk right now”

I slowly stood up clutching the rail for dear life and began putting my clothes on. A few minutes later we walked out of there like nothing happened. She walked with me to my next class and said,

“See you later?”

I nodded, still at a loss for words.
I walked into my class wide awake and ready to learn. There’s nothing like a midday quickie to rejuvenate you. Or in my case, to realign your insides.

My second class was actually more fun or engaging. I wasn’t exactly sure why. Maybe it was because it was discussion style or the professor clearly wanted to get inside my pants. He was always looking at me. Smiling funny and wanting me to come to his office hours. Everyone has always wanted something from me but I was the one that had the least to give. At least I thought. Till I realized how much my body was worth to them.

This professor was actually young and good looking. To be very honest, I actually wanted to see what he could do to me on his office table. I was day dreaming and then I received Zoey’s text asking me to come and spend the night at her house.

I didn’t want to because I knew I had to “work” that night. I texted her back letting her know that I had therapy and choir practice. She knew it was true but she didn’t know that I had other “work” related things to do after.

.     .     .       .      .       .

One of the services I was receiving by being a foster child and ward of the court was individual therapy. Like many other kids in the system, I had gone through a few different ones. I actually liked the one I got to talk to now.

She was easy to talk to and one of the few that continued to work with kids after they aged out of the system. She wasn’t rigid. Extremely flexible and slowly she peeled back my stoic attitude. I was so closed off. Not wanting anyone to come into my head. I didn’t want to be exposed and seen as a failure or as the weak one.

When I got referred to her, I was about 17. I had just moved into a new foster home.
It had been a few weeks and I had not gotten a single hit of the drugs I was on. Marijuana and some polished version of Crystal Meth. I think the new environment didn’t actually trigger me like it would have done to others but it served to distract me. I didn’t realize I hadn’t done any drugs for three weeks. The trigger was that I had stumbled on the email sent out by my current foster mother at the time, complaining about me and how she was not sure that she could handle me. I felt my heart sink so far into the depths of darkness.

So that evening, I went out and stayed out late. I got so high; I passed out on the park bench with a friend. The police were called.

Since I was a ward of the court, they reviewed my case and mandated me to therapy and I have continued ever since.

……

STOP!!!! YOU SEE THAT SMILE ON YOUR FACE RIGHT NOW. PRESERVE IT O. YOU BETTER PLAN TO COMMENT AT THE END OF THIS STORY OR ELSE. Idk what will happen o!

 ……

Lay Me Down by Sam Smith

 I walked into the room and placed my bag to my right as I placed both hands on my lap.

I looked up to my therapist. She smiled and said,

“How are you doing, Jade?”

I smiled back and said,

“I’m okay. Yourself?”

“Good good”

She replied before she started asking me certain questions.

“How’s your mood been lately? Felt any urges or triggers?”

She was asking about me relapsing. I had been clean for 8 months. Many times people had asked me for my motivation for staying clean but I never told them. It was because of my sister.

She was smart and on track to graduate from high school a year and half early. She had colleges lined up for her and even though we never grew up together because my mom gave her up once she was born because she had me, she and I stayed close for the past two years.

I didn’t have many things in my life but I had her and I wanted to make her proud to have an older sister like me.

So I stayed away from the drugs and focused more on school. I wanted to give her something to live up to.

“No I haven’t”

I replied barely smiling.

She nodded and wrote something down as she asked,

“What about Ms Lecia and the home? You barely talk about them”

She was right.

I always kept Ms Lecia and everyone else in the home out of my business and theirs private. For some reason, it just made my life feel compartmentalized but I guess that’s why today, I was shocked when I started to want to talk. And there I was telling her my full story of how I got to Ms Lecia. I started out saying,

“Ms Lecia and I found each other and she was there when no one would take me. I was at court shortly before my 18^th birthday and it was a review to talk about what would happen to me once my birthday came. I would age out of the system, be too old for certain services and I would have to reapply under something else. I was nervous. I really was.

No other places wanted to take me.

I had given up home and began to wonder if they were going to send me off to some far away state where I would be completely forgotten. And then it happened.

Ms Lecia spoke.

Everyone in the room was quite shocked because although she primarily took girls into her foster home, they were mostly always younger than my age. I felt a sense of relief once she said that.

It felt like an unexpected lifeline.

And a few days later, I was living with Ms Lecia in the current place we live in. Not much has changed since the first few nights when I moved in except that my room has moved upstairs, Ms Lecia beat breast cancer and her prostitution ring in the community is booming.

It was gradual and very slow. Nothing was forced on me. The walk into the world of prostitution was extremely controlled by Ms Lecia.

About a month into living with her, she came into my room in the dead of the night. I was still sharing my room downstairs then with a girl named Nicole. Ms Lecia sat on my bed and gently woke me up. I wondered if I had done something wrong because it was usually in the dead of the night she would ambush one of us if we had failed at something. She placed her finger over her lip, motioning to me to stay calm and quiet. Then she began her speech. The speech was about how I had potential and I was beautiful and all I needed to do was spend a few hours with certain men she hand picks and they are safe but they need company. There was no mention of money involved or sex but it has been almost 4 years and there have been a lot of men, money and sex.

There was something about the way she talked to me. She knew that in my heart I knew that after her, I had no other place to go. That reality alone drove fear into me and made me follow all her rules. She was the Queen of confidentiality. Her motto was that unless there was a gun to your head and the trigger just got pulled, NEVER SELL OUT THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE.

That line has always held true for me. Never would I snitch on someone I cared about and I had gotten in trouble many times for it. Even with Ms Lecia.

When Ms Lecia was done with her talk that night, she patted my head and told me to go to sleep. I couldn’t imagine how I was going to sleep after that. I was young but I was old enough to know what she had asked me to do.

I lay there wondering how to feel about it and then Nicole from her bed said,

“It’s not as scary as you think; many of the men are really really nice”

And she was right. Many of them are but I’m starting to want more for myself, for my sister, I’m starting to want a future. I want to be more than a foster kid. More than a project for the state. More than a pay check to a foster mother. I want more.”

I looked up at my therapist. She had this stunned look on her face.

She could not believe all that I had just told her. She soon noticed that she had her mouth ajar and was not speaking. She closed her mouth, swallowed hard and then said,

“Ummm… Jade, you have shared a lot today. Some of which is somewhat disturbing to hear as a professional. How are you feeling?”

I scanned her from top to bottom twice and then I said with a smirk on my face,

 “You remember that privacy release you signed right and how everything in here is confidential?”

She nodded and then I picked up my bag and began to head for the door. I stopped, turned around and said,

“Thank you”

She said,

“Wait Jade, I just have to ask. With all that you have told me, are you going to be safe? Any chance you might want to harm yourself or others? I have to ask.”

I looked at her said,

“Even if I did, why would I tell you?”

And I walked out the door.

I was confident that I was rude in my response to her but I felt a huge weight off my shoulders. I had let go of a lot of the things I held in. I guess it was because I knew I would soon end it all. I had to leave my heart the lightest it could be.

 

.       .       .       .       .       .

Talking to her was better than any high and made me feel needed more than being with any man. My younger sister Julie was truly everything to me.

“Did you turn in the other applications yet?”

I asked her.

“Not yet sis. I’m still waiting for GPA verification form from the school office and then I can send it because they’ll need it for the scholarship application”

She responded trying eagerly to explain to me before I went off on her.

“Okay just make sure you get it in by Monday or Tuesday. How is everything else going?”

She didn’t immediately respond.

“Julie!”

I called out to her.

“Yes sis. Sorry I’m reading something”

She responded.

“Read it after, you know I’m late and I’m out here talking to you”

 “Sorry sis. I just need the money for the college tour and my prom dress and that’s it”

I smiled.

My sister was actually going off to a proper university and prom? She was going to prom!

I couldn’t have felt any happier and even though she was in a different state, I was going to make every effort to be there.

“Okay, I’ll send the money to your account once we get off the phone. Make sure you send me pictures of all the dresses you want to pick from so I can help you choose and also make sure you grab full admission packets from every school you go to. Okay?”

I could hear her smile over the phone at my over protectiveness.

“Yes mother. I will do as you have asked”

She mocked me as I smiled back and said.

“Alright beautiful. Make sure you continue to be good. Say hi to Sandra and her husband for me. Remember, you can do anything you put your mind to and you are beautiful inside and out. Never let anyone tell you different”

We exchanged goodbyes I ended the call.

8:04pm Friday night.

I walked into the building and walked between the rows of chairs towards my seat in the back as I sat down.

I couldn’t stop smiling at the conversation I just had with my sister. She always brought a smile to my face. I was so thankful I had her in my life and thankful that she was well adjusted and living a fairly normal life.

I received a text from Ms Lecia. My directions to my next “assignment”.

 

 I stared at the phone in disgust. I wanted to quit so badly but where would I go? I didn’t have enough money saved up yet. I took a deep breath in and then I heard Daryll the pastor’s son and choir leader say my name over the microphone. He was walking towards me and then he stopped right in front of me. He looked down at the microphone and turned it off.

He said,

“Hey Jade, thanks for finally showing up. I’ve been covering for you for the last 45 minutes. Did you forget that you’re leading the song with John on Sunday?”

I looked down and then back at him.

“Crap! I’m sorry. I didn’t forget. I was just taking care of some family stuff.”

“It’s cool. At least you’re here now”

He said and continued,

“So are you ready to do this?”

He looked at me. I said nothing.

I looked down at the phone and the message from Ms Lecia still on the screen. I looked back at him and then to the rest of the choir up on the stage.

I turned to him and he had the microphone stretched out towards me. I collected it from him and replied Ms Lecia.

My voice shortly after belted out the speakers. Did you just judge me?

Haven’t you seen many sinners in church lifting holy hands on Sunday after club nights?
Yeah, my thoughts exactly.

 

 

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