Selfish 4

Selfish 4

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 ⟹ ⟹ ⟹ PLAY THE SONG BEFORE YOU START READING

Can’t Wait (Feat. Ed Sheeran & T.I.) by Ty Dolla $ign 

Daylight.

The air smelled like lavender. I wasn’t sure where I was for a quick second. My back felt sunken into the platform I was on.

I opened my eyes as I turned to my right and looked down at Fola. I smiled.

Very quickly I scanned the room. I hadn’t been in there a lot even during my stay there because I had tried to be respectful of her space.

I looked down at myself and realized my pants were still on. Good.

My right arm was dead from Fola’s average sized head sleeping on it all night. I slowly lifted it out from under her and headed into the kitchen.

 

I cracked a few eggs and beat them. I added all the ingredients I needed and I was about to pour them into the frying pan when Fola walked in. She stood in the doorway hiding her face. She looked so cute. I said nothing to her.

She walked into the kitchen and came up behind me. She placed her hands on my back and hugged me from behind. Her hands were soft. Her body was warm. She was perfect.

I turned to kiss her.

I looked into her eyes and said,

“Are we doing this? Ada and some will come for you. Are you sure?”

She nodded and said,

“Yes, I am”

I smiled back and said,

“Okay” 

We chatted for a bit about nothing really and then she remembered she had an important errand to run. I told her to go and take a shower. She reluctantly went as she said she didn’t want to take one alone with her spoiled self.

I reached and smacked her butt as it bounced and she walked away.

She turned and I said,

“Am I allowed to do that?”  

She smiled and said,

“You always could”

She winked at me and walked into her bedroom. I smiled and licked my lips. I looked down and realized that I was burning the eggs.

 

Fola ate a little before she darted out of the house. And I was tidying the place and then I heard a knock on the door. Like a reflex movement, I didn’t even look through the peephole to find out who it was.

I pulled the door open as I said,

“What did you forget now?”

I stopped mid sentence and stared through the open doorway. My eyes almost couldn’t believe it.

It was Ada.

 “Ada, the check book for that account is in the house and I need to come and get it but they have told me not to come in there. So until I can get a police officer to accompany me, you have to wait”

She was now fuming harder.

“Bada, if you don’t come and give me what I need, I will make your life miserable. Trust me. You know I can do it”

I was just so tired of it all. I sighed and replied,

“Okay Ada, what would you have me do?”

She relaxed and straightened her blouse and said,

“Come to the house and write me the check and leave.”

 

I agreed and grabbed my keys. A few minutes later we were travelling closely behind each other to my house. We arrived in front of the house and she parked on the driveway while I parked on the street. The sight was something out of a movie.

The whole front area of the house was covered in yellow tape and the place was swarming with police officers. There had to have been at least eight police cars parked in front of the house.

We both got out of our respective cars and began walking towards the house.  An officer from inside the house came outside and said to us

“Does either one of you live here?”

I shook my head and then the officer said,

“Ma’am are you Ada?”

He pronounced it like he said the word turkish name “Arda”

She looked puzzled and almost immediately scared. She turned and looked at me. I returned this look of disengagement. This wasn’t my shit.

Ada looked back at the officer and nervously replied,

“Yes”

He pulled up part of the tape and motioned for her to come under it. She looked at me again as if she wanted me to step in but I for sure wasn’t going to.

She stopped on the other side of the tape looked at me as the officer said,

“And who are you sir?”

I have the flattest affect on my face as I responded,

“Her ex husband”

Her eyes grew big and unconsciously a smile quickly spread across my face. I turned around and headed for my car as the officer led her away to his car. There was a sudden release.

.      .       .       .       .        .

As I finished up my words, I could already see Fola about to explode. She had this extremely calm exterior about her most times but somehow I occasionally pushed her buttons; intentionally and sometimes even unconsciously. I guess the people you love do that the easiest.

I almost just wanted to keep on talking to stop her from responding but as soon I stopped. She took a short breath and said,

“So you let her into my house and then you followed her out?

Bada, why would you do that?

Don’t you know that she is crazy?!”

I think she caught how puzzling her overreaction made me with the expression on my face, so she began to tone her voice down. I was about to respond when she said,

“Don’t try to defend yourself!

I’m just mad right now. Maybe I’m overreacting but just let me have it”

I looked at her as I scoffed and said,

“Yeah. You need to calm down”

I immediately knew the damage I had done as those words sailed off my tongue. She turned and glared at me. I put up my hands in surrender.

Nigerian women would kill you if you told them to calm down while they are angry.

I said,

“Baby, you look so beautiful when you mad”

She waved me off with the quickness. Just like that my compliments went to waste. Sigh.

.      .      .      .       .

 

Outside the meeting room I sat.

Occasionally raising my head to catch a glimpse of someone either walking in heels or talking on their phone.

I was sitting in the hallway reading the deposition report that detailed why the police came over to my house a few days prior. Apparently there had been a suspected murder of a woman who had told her friends she feared for her life. Pearl had gone over to the house to confront her ex over moving in with Ada and basically being with her.

Gunshots had gone off that morning in the house. The police were called to the scene and Pearl’s body was discovered. It was reported that there had been some noises and possibly a confrontation before the gunshots but Ada’s man was nowhere to be found. My guess was that it was a confrontation that went too far but all the same, Pearl was gone.

An ATB had been put out for him while Ada had been interrogated because of all of the drugs located in the garage. The report said they were confident she knew nothing about it but she was told to not leave town.

“We’re ready for you, Mr Bada”

I looked to my left as the intern that came to get me from outside the meeting room held the door open for me. I walked in and took a seat.

The room was well lit and there was coffee on the table in front of us. I was watching and basically involved in small talk with the mediator when Ada walked into the room.

She looked great as usual. I felt like it was around that time I began to wonder if all I ever felt for her was lust because truthfully at that moment, I just wanted to lay her out on top of that table and devour her.

I quickly shook the thought out of my head but it was too late. Ada had seen my eyes drooling over her as she smiled back to me as if to say, 

“Yes, look at what you’re missing”

I sat up straight with the meeting beginning.

As sometimes is the case with divorces, Ada and I were advised to attend mediation. This was where we were supposed to figure out how to navigate this process as amicably as possible without trying to kill each other. My lawyer had expressed to the court that he felt that the divorce if not properly outlined in mediation could get ugly. The judge granted exception and ordered mediation for us.

Being very honest, that meeting did not last very long. I afforded Ada the opportunity to speak first. I was sure that she had no footing. I helped her come to this country, put a roof over her head and supported her. Yet she was looking for ways to sink deeper into my pockets.

Not happening.

She started off talking about all she did for me during the short while we lived together and then proceeded to imply that I had been cheating by living outside the home and not fulfilling my husbandly duties because I was living with Fola.

“He has been living with another woman and sleeping with her. A gold digger named Fola”

I snapped back speaking through my covered my mouth,

“Do not bring her into this!”

Slightly raising my voice. Did she just call Fola a gold digger? I thought to myself.
I was certain then that Ada needed psychological attention.

“Yes, let it be noted that I have been living out of the home for a little over month now as a result of a bogus domestic violence claim made by her.

I was ordered to stay away from her and of course I was going to stay away from the home too as she invited a convicted felon into my house. So forgive me for not being able to perform husbandly duties while I worried about my life”

There was shock written all over Ada’s face. Since she had met me, I had never raised my voice at her nor had I ever come on that strongly but that day, it had to be done and it had been coming.

The mediator was taken back and tried to gather herself when I laughed and said to the mediator,

 “I’m leaving here. Finish this up and let me know what I need to sign. If this goes to court, I’ll win even if she drains me first. I would also like my house back at some point soon.

And Ada, you might want to watch your back with a felon sticking his prison-covered privates inside you. At least while he’s still on the run for murder.”

I stormed out. I felt like I just sunk the buzzer beating a 3 pointer shot in the championship game.

 

.       .       .         .         .         .

Selfish by Jordan Rakei

Soundtrack for the Selfish Series. 

I needed the getaway. That week had been hectic.

Fola and I had our first “argument” even though I was not allowed to argue back and then the meeting with Ada. I just needed a break to recharge. The kind of person I am, I knew that with each issue pilling over the next, it would become extremely hard for me to not easily run into another problem. I was glad Fola and I were dealing with our feelings early however difficult they were.That was something I had failed to do in previous relationships and I wanted to set the right tone for a future endeavor.

I had been in relationships where issues would fester for days and nothing would be resolved just us driving farther and farther away from each other.

Fola would never let things happen like that. Part of what I loved about her the most was the fact that she would be upset with me but she would still convey her feelings in a way that made me understand her feelings. And her voice and the look in her eyes always made me want to make it right immediately. That type of dynamic was one that I wished for all the time and I was glad to see it happening.

 

I watched Fola sleeping in the car as we drove to our destination a few hours outside town.

There was just something about her. I could say it all day. She just had a way about her. She was feisty when she needed to be, and soft in the same space. She carried confidence in being submissive but also poise, class and respect in knowing how and when to put her foot down and dominate situations. She was a woman’s woman.

“Babe, where did you put the tickets?”

I asked her as I buttoned up my shirt. She was in the other room putting on her makeup and she answered,

“Inside the left side of your blazer babe”

I reached inside my blazer and of course they were there. I smiled and pulled my blazer on. I walked to the bathroom and stood in the door way looking at her. My face was saying it all

“Put your makeup on faster”

or maybe my eyes were saying

“Why aren’t you putting them on faster or why do you even need makeup, you’re beautiful as it is”

She looked at me and smiled.

“Five more minutes babe”

Argh! That smile of hers was just her way of making me melt. I turned around and headed to the couch. The hotel’s channels were confusing to navigate so I just left it on a sports channel. Sports Center as usual continued to show the same replays at intervals and I waited.

Twenty minutes later she emerged and was finally ready. Again her beauty just caused me to park my emotions to the side for a moment.

 

Hand in hand, we walked towards the hotel lobby for the comedy show. With each laugh during the show, I felt us drift a little closer to each other. I couldn’t stop staring into her eyes over dinner. She was truly beautiful.

I couldn’t wait to finally get my hands on her.

We wrapped up dinner and our drinks as we walked into the hotel suite. I walked into the room and headed straight for the bathroom. She headed into the room.

I came out of the room and she was laying on the bed in her dress face down. I remember saying,

“Fola, you know you’re going to get all your makeup all over the sheets right?”

She said

“Oh!”

as she turned and sat up. She was sitting on the edge of the bed when I walked up and stood in front of her.

I took her head into my hands and leaned down to kiss her. Her cheeks were soft and her lips even softer. I reached down and pulled her up. She was looking surprised as if she didn’t know what I was about to do. I held her up as she placed her legs on the bed and her back against the wall.

The kisses were long and connecting. It’s one of those hard to explain feelings but I continued to feel my body open up and take her in. It was like finding a puzzle that just fit right.

Occasionally, she would stop and look into my eyes as if she was surprised that it was all happening.

I didn’t want to let her out of my arms. I slowly placed her down and took off her clothes. She turned around and took of my shirt and then unzipped my pants. I just stood there and watched her.

When she was done, I kissed her again. Slowly, I laid her down on the bed. Every position allowed me to be close to her face. I wanted to continue to look into her beautiful eyes and just get lost in her more and more.

She lay on her chest as I laid on her back, slowly sliding my way in. The pace was slow. Controlled.

I could feel her in many ways. I was drenched in her but as each drop of sweat fell onto her, I covered her. She reached for the pillows to grab on to. I continued to thrust while planting soft kisses to the right side of her face as she moaned.

I could tell that I just wanted to be with this woman and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

We lay there next to each other with her legs over mine as we both began to fall asleep. I kissed her forehead and she said,

“I love you, Baddest”

I smiled and looked down at her. Before I could respond, she had fallen asleep. I smiled and planted another kiss on her forehead and whispered,

“I love you too Fola.”

……

STOP!!!! YOU SEE THAT SMILE ON YOUR FACE RIGHT NOW. PRESERVE IT O. YOU BETTER PLAN TO COMMENT AT THE END OF THSI STORY OR ELSE. We’ll have to involve Goodluck Jonathan and none of us want that. So be a real one and hold it down. POP. Pimp Squad for life baby. #WhatTheHeckMan I luh you!

 ……

 The rest of the trip was filled with activities. Wine tasting, kayaking, indoor rock climbing and go kart racing. Somehow we were both tired the day we were leaving but happy that we had spent that time together. Almost recharged in a way.

I was at the gas station as I we were heading back home on our drive when I stopped at the gas station to fill up on gas.

I slid my card into the reader and I kept receiving a “declined” message. Somehow I thought it must have been some type of mistake because that account was linked to my savings account, which had all my life savings in it. So even if there was no money in the checking account which I was sure there was, it should have still pulled from the savings and worked.

I didn’t take it too seriously, so I used another card and got into the car.

 

I had been driving for about 5 minutes when my phone rang. It was my bank asking me to verify some transactions because there had been suspicion of fraudulent behavior on my account. I was verifying the transactions when my phone started beeping for an incoming call.

I clicked over and it was a collect call from the holding cell. I clicked to accept the call and then I heard the voice on the other side say,

“Hello”

I sighed. It was Ada.

.      .      .      .      .

 “That’s what she deserves. I hope the bank didn’t let her take anything though?”

I understood why Fola would respond like that. She like many people couldn’t stand Ada.

I was sure Ada had finally worked her way into a hole too big to get out of now.

Remember that checkbook that I had followed Ada to my house for some weeks back?

Yes.

She forged my signature and tried to clean out the account. The bank flagged it and blocked the account. Ada was taken into custody on attempt to defraud charges. She called to ask me to come and bail her out.

“You better not be thinking about going there, Bada. Get that thought out of your head right now”

Fola said to me. I looked at her and said,

“Fola, I obviously can’t leave her in there. She has no one”

“More reason why she should not have been going around making enemies”

Fola chimed back.

I looked over to her and said,

“Babe, I owe it to my family to at least help her out.”

Fola rolled her eyes as I tried to stay focused on the road and said,

“There you go again with this unreciprocated loyalty. How many of them stepped up to help you while all of this was going on? How many?

Yet you continue to stay in this situation. You have to step up and take care of yourself, Bada.

Go and talk to her but let it be known that if this blows up somehow again, I won’t be a part of this mess”

She stopped talking and turned towards the window after putting her headphones in. I looked over to her and kept my eyes on the road. Something needed to be done.

About two hours later we arrived at the police station, I stepped out of the car and we made our way into the waiting area. Fola was visibly upset that I even came there. When they called me up to talk to her, I got up and kept walking towards where I was supposed to talk to her.

I couldn’t turn around because of the heartbreak written all over her face.

Ada began by asking me to help her and how devastating her being in jail would be for her family. The penalty for the crime she committed was a minimum of a year in jail and up to 5 years if deemed necessary. She was facing serious time.

She asked me to lie and tell them that I had authorized her taking the money.

I said,

“First of all Ada, you want me to commit a crime to get you out of a crime. That’s not happening. This seems to be your pattern where you take and take. You continuously manipulated me into doing things for you that put me at risk.

Think of everything you put me through. I married you and tried to help you and your family by giving you a better life. You repaid me with evil, heartache and sadness.

You even went as far as breaking our union with adultery by sleeping with that guy. So please, cut the bullshit!

A lot of people get themselves into situations and have the hardest time knowing when to give up and quit because they don’t want to be selfish. Ada, this is my time to be selfish. I have love for you but you are not deserving of it.

I am leaving this situation behind. I did promise to help you though so I will get in touch with a lawyer you can afford with all the money I have given you in the recent times.

With these charges and your ties with the man that is currently a wanted murderer, you might very well get deported but who knows. All the best and stay away from me.”

Ada was straight faced the whole time. No tears, no remorse. Nothing.

I couldn’t care one bit. I left the room and walked into the lobby and there was Fola.

Her legs were crossed over each other. Head in her hands and she was crying.

I wasn’t sure why. I walked up to her and got on my knees in front of her. I placed my hands over her hands and said,

“Fola, what is going on?”

She continued to cry.

I pried her hands off her face and began wiping her tears.

“Baby, I’m sorry I brought you here. I just had to take care of this”

She kept on crying while I continued,

“I’m glad you waited though and I’m sorry again”

She wouldn’t stop crying and I hated her crying but also not telling me what was going on in her head.

I was still on my knees wiping away her tears as she said,

“I thought you were going to stay with her.”

She sniffed and continued,

“It just always felt like she had some kind of hold over you. I couldn’t bank on you not staying with her. It felt like I never really had you and you were just going to go back to her.”

Her vulnerability almost made me cry. I wiped her tears away again and pulled her close. Head to head, I rubbed down her back and told her it was going to be okay and that I wasn’t going anywhere.

I held her head back and said,

“Fola, I have always given to others without taking care of me and my wants and needs. Fola, you are all I want now. You are all I need. Call me selfish but here we are. I have to have you. I need to have you”

She looked down and sniffed then she said,

“Really?”

I smiled and knew my baby was back and I pulled her close. I then replied saying,

“Yes really. I love you”

She hugged me and in my ear she says,

“Get up already. You look like you’re proposing and you sure as hell ain’t proposing to me in a police station.”

I laughed and mocked pulling out a ring from my pocket. She smacked my left shoulder as I got up. I hugged her again as we walked out. Together we had overcome our biggest pain.

.       .       .         .         .

 

It was a hot day. I was sweating and just needing a drink and cool air.

I walked down the driveway and headed into the back of the truck. I stopped for a second and thought of what to carry next.

It was about midday.

Quiet the neighborhood conveyed peace. It was welcoming. It was beautiful. It was new.

I bent down and pulled the head board of the new bed. I pulled it.

It only budged a bit. I pulled it again.

Slowly but surely, it got to the edge of the truck. I got down and straightened the dolly I was going to place it on to roll it into the house.

It was my new house with Fola. It had been 7 months since the last time I saw Ada and our divorce had been finalized a few weeks after the encounter we had at the police station. I sold the old house as I wanted a change and Fola was definitely not going to live in a house where a murder had been committed. Ada was somewhere serving her two year sentence for fraud and we just needed a fresh start. So we moved.

Far away enough from all the people we knew but still reachable, we started over. Together.

I lifted the headboard and steadied it on the dolly. I was about to start pushing it when Fola came out of the house with the house phone in her hand.

I stopped and wiped some sweat off my head with my forearm as she said,

“Phone babe”

I replied,

“Who is it?”

She responded,

“The hospital. They said Ada just had a baby and they want to talk to you”

There are very few words to describe the expression on my face at that time. Only one fitting one,  “#WhatTheHeckMan!”

 

The End

 

Everyone knows an Ada, a Bada and of course some of us are hopelessly Fola but we are all similar in one way; we want something. I wrote the Selfish series to speak to a very real situation in the Nigerian/African community and our involvement with immigrating and helping people from Africa come to our various countries.

I also wanted to speak to the selflessness in many of us. Blinding navigating and slaving away to keep others grounded while we drift off into oblivion. Ada was(is) a leach. The find the healthiest host and latch on before sucking them dry and then moving on to their next home. Personally, it was interesting to see the level of “hate” and disgust people developed over the last 4 weeks for Ada. The psychologist in me says that speaks to the level of countertransference that she caused many of you to have. She evoked emotions because you could either relate very well or you just happen to know an “Ada like” character.

Ada not dying was a symbol for life. Sometimes some of the trickiest situations we get involved in unfortunately never let up. They linger and haunt for a long time. The best way is to learn to avoid them all together. Saying NO is a talent but more of a life skill. Learn it.

Bada slaved on for while trying to do what’s “right”. But what happens when doing what is right feels wrong and is hurting you?
Leave?
Easier said than done. Some of you are in Selfish situations right now out of love, loyalty and maybe plain fear of change. Honestly, it is great to always think you will get as much as you give in a situation but the truth is that sometimes the balance tips one way or another. You just hope that you’re getting enough of what you need from the situation that you don’t feel cheated.
In Bada’s case he needed to leave but it was extremely hard for him. Don’t be a Bada. IF it is even anywhere near Ada levels of evil, RUN!
Before you’re the one people have to mourn.

Fola, oh Fola. I love a Fola tho. I really do!
Shoutout to the real Fola’s out there. Patiently waiting for their “moment”. For some, they will wait in vain but for some who have honestly waited, loved from a healthy enough distance and worked on themselves; the reward almost always comes.
What I would say to you in “Fola like” situations is, don’t become a doormat while waiting for the right person to walk into your life or realize that you’ve always been there. Everyone walks into the house without ever acknowledging the doormat. All we notice is the shining painting in the corner that is a pain to maintain.
For Fola, keep your head up. If you’ve done everything right. You’ll get the reward in the version of the person you want.
FYI, there are men and women named Fola.

You  have questions I know, but listen to me. Take am slow slow! lol
You are probably mad at me right now but at least I didn’t kill off the person you wanted to protect! I should get credit for that. But anywho, don’t be a Pearl in the way of an Ada, you’ll end up as collateral damage.

Remember that night that Bada left for a bit after Fola got mad at him? Hmmmm…

Oh back to Ada, she had a baby. Timelines. 😴😷

Who the baby daddy?!?!?!?!?!?!?! lol

 

We are wired to take. In our lives we can slowly become Selfish without realizing it. Do good people. LEarn to give more than you receive. More time, More love, patience, trust, prayers, more of you. So today, reach out to the one you love and GIVE. Don’t ask for anything at all. Just give. Give love, give time, give your listening ear.
Above all, I want to thank you all for reading the Selfish series. I hope you enjoyed the rollercoaster ride with me. My new series starts you all up again. #WhatTheHeckMan family, I appreciate you all. Thank you for the time, love, support and comments you give me. They go a massive way in my life. Y’all are the MVP’s.

Listen to the Selfish soundtrack by Jordan Rakei. He is DOPE! Expect more from him in the coming stories.
Ladies and Gentlemen, you are amazing to me and I’ll continue to give you quality stories for as long as I can and you want them. Thank you again.
Till you read again (ON WEDNESDAY) keep your head up and give love.

Love you all! Oh and ADD ME ON SNAPCHAT! lool “ADEWUS4REAL”

 

Watch OUT for my next series, TITLE WILL BE DROPPED ON WEDNESDAY!!!!

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