Fcuk You! (WhatTheHeckMan 2)

 LISTEN TO SPOKEN VERSION HERE ⟹

Fcuk You! by Adewus4real

Fcuk You!

Yes

Shit I had to say that and get it off my chest

But calm down

Calm down

I’m talking to myself

But I want your audience

This is pain

This has been my unrest

I placed the bet

And lost

So let me open up to you

And you better promise to be just

 

Let me tell you a little bit about me

I’m collected and cllamdssfabuibds

All that

As you can see

No that’s a lie

It’s not the truth

I’m lost

I’ve been lost

And that in that I’ve found the new me

I play the part of “happy” well

Honestly in this fake world

It’s not really a hard dream to sell

I’m insecure

The dreams I have make me unsure

I wake up every morning and go into work

Stuck

Just there to make a buck

Truly not giving a fuck

I know where I truly want to be

And my heart is set on all of that

But I need to dig and believe

I need to kill the doubt

 

My insecurities flow to my relationships

For that reason I only try to maintain the new phenomenon

Situationships

Giving all of me

Selling dreams I make these women believe

I’ve gotten in tough situations

Now I’m stuck in a rut

Battling to fight hurt and make the right decisions

I’m crumbling

These women are not relenting

Wanting things from me

When all I’ve been truly begging

Is that they help me find me

 

I’m put together in front of my parents

They tell the world that I’m the greatest

But I feel like the fakest

I lie

I steal

I try to conceal

My true feelings and thoughts

Because I know maintaining the perception they have of me is a must

So I tell them what they need to hear

Keeping from them the fact that I was damn near

Near death and it’s cold embrace

But I show up to church on Sunday and pray for God’s grace

Hands lifted up

When less than 24hrs prior they were on some random girls butt

Telling God the things I promise to do not

When last night I was selling her dreams and hungry like a dog that just wanted a quick fuck

I’m twisted

Enlisted

Their trying to find me

I’m lost

 

 

My friend’s don’t know my pain

You cannot quantify my pain

Thinking you know mine

Would be insane

Let’s all just stay on Twitter and play the game

From nudes to prudes

Memes and jokes

Fights we stoke

We gather to sell dreams and like traders in the temple

Filthy

Behind simp hours and DM’s we hide

Your follower counts stay on the rise

While people’s esteems you force to commit suicide

And then you RT and LOL

But that won’t get you anywhere

Fcuk!

See how lost I told you I was

I can’t even gather my thoughts properly for once

 

I have found me in this chaos

My blood pressure is high and I’m 23

Looking at my student loans I wish I just had money for the payoff

But I know I’m trapped in this realm and there is no need to for a standoff

I’ll lose

But hey maybe I just need to fight the world

Fight the hurt

The lies and the deceit

Go and find the woman and I truly love from the heat

Stand her on her feet

While I get on my knees

Get rid of this lifestyle that’s like a disease

Maybe

Will I?

Should I?

Can I?

Maybe I will

I’ll fight the world and then lose

Maybe then someone will find my body

Actually they might not

Many of us are dead inside walking around like zombies

Fcuk you!

No don’t get upset, please

I swear I was talking to me

Or wait

Do we have the same disease?

 

 

 

I started off this blog due to heart ache and feeling at a crossroads with all my emotions. I was depressed. Angry and fully unaware of how to deal with it all.

I had been writing for almost a decade but just collecting my work and never really putting it out for people to say. So I want to thank you as you read this, you have journeyed with me as I dealt with pain, love, heartbreak and ache, excitement, disappointment, creativity and fellowship. Today marks the 1 year Anniversary of #WhatTheHeckMan, what started off as a platform for a young man to express himself now helps push creativity and excitement for many. I sincerely say “Thank You”

Do not sleep on me, this platform or following you heart unless it leads you to burn plantain. Thank you once again for always reading, retweeting and letting me flood your timelines on Saturdays. I appreciate you all. Stay Up!

 

Lookout for Part 2 of my current series; TRAPPED 2 on Saturday.